Oh, Hello / Meet Me Somewhere Cloudy

[Kevin Dahlia]

Blog Entry: I.

June 11th, 2012
8:48 PM

Salutations irrefutably simplistic simians.. Wow-ho-ho. What's this? Two utterly-substantial surprises arise. And in a double-whammy like manner. Not only do I introduce myself in a differing style than found typical. But, my wonderfully desirable face is lacking the glimmering complexion found upon a videocamera. Yes, I have succumb to stereotypical generic-ism.


Say, whaaaaaaaaaa-?


Yes. In a profoundly depressing turn of events, I shant be able to express myself to my full, charmingly, charismatic manner. A shame. Trust me, I do comprehend this injustice. But hey, don't blame me jazz-cats. No no. If you want to find a Neanderthal to blame, try focusing on a reoccurring figure, that tragically is plaguing me. That's right kids, Benny Horrowitz.


Try and re-gain full recollection. Just a week ago. I entered the ol' ring, and was utterly robbed of my second victory. It was overwhelmingly apparent to the thousands in attendance. The supposedly 'high-talked' opposition, in Horrowitz, barely was able to relinquish a handful of moves.


Deny it. Anyone, I dare you! My Super Jr. style training has begun to usher in a new era in the APW. Initially besting Mr.Dangerous, a highly regarded wrestler within the promotion, and now the 'rising star', Horrowitz.


I SHOULD have regained another victory.


Alas, sheer stupidity plagued my second contest. Only my second bout, and the insufficient intellectuality of a fucking ref. desolated what should have been a continuously progressing streak of victory. Don't fret though my loyal wolves-followers. As was seen by every man within the APW with an eye-open, I eradicated the very being that was Horrowitz.


But then, what did we have? Ahaha. Someone got a widdle-itsy-bitsy sad that I gave him a boo-boo. And what arises out of that? The thug based antics that I foresaw, and proclaimed would ascend. Horrowitz, the ever-increasingly sore loser, set his mindless goons on the prowl. Of course, the exponentially mindboggeling mechanics of a locked door kept them out (shocker).


So now whats afoot? Horrowitz gets a rematch. Aha. I see this in both a positive and negative frame of light.


On one end of the spectrum, I should have emerged victorious last week, so dissimulating this illogical worm again should be a walk-through-the-park. A joyous one at that. But, on the opposite end of this spectrum, I am forced to repeat a week of my fucking life. I have to do it all again. It's not so much tiring, as tediously monotonous... substantially insulting. Plain moronic, to be blatant. But this time kids, this time, there is a catch.


Horrowitz, being unable to compete on a technical level, shall compete with I on a match out of my own nature.


A No DQ bout. Aha. Suddenly, my pureso training is made substantially invalid. It doesn't take talent, skill or intellectuality to emerge victorious anymore. No. It takes the ability to hit the opposition harder, first. Hilarious.


I'll give BennyBoy props though. Oh, I will. It took some mustering of intelligence to realize his only ability to win was to remove me from a zone of skill. Remove me from my comfort zone. Move into thug-based competition. Something this scum knows ALL too well. All I can say is.... come prepared Horrowitz. I plan on not making the same mistake as last week, again. See you out there sweet-cheeks. ; )

- Cameron Wolves