Post by Reaver on Jun 14, 2012 15:11:52 GMT -4
Knuckles: Where the hell is this jerky?........
His voice echoed throughout the musky morning of the silent woods in upstate New York. With full body camouflage and protective gear on, Johnny Knuckles makes his way through the terrain armed with a Kingman Spyder Fenix Marker and a can of Donkey Punch. (the refreshing drink that HITS the spot)
*CAP CAP*
Shots can be heard coming from behind him as he whips himself around and falling flat on the ground to avoid getting hit. The rustling of some trees and leaves and heard in the distance as someone or something is running around to avoid being seen. Knuckles readies his paintball gun but sees nothing. He takes off his mask as to get a better look. He gets up and heads due south where he thought he might have seen this figure running off.
*CAP CAP*
More shots fired as Knuckles narrowly is missed and fires a few back himself. After a barrage of shots at each other, Knuckles catches a shot in his leg that stings briefly but brings Knuckles to 1 knee. Unknowingly, as he goes down to his knee, Knuckles ALSO catches a shot smack in the forehead and since his protective mask was off, it lays him out rendering him motionless. The figure walks over to check on him but decides to pull his pants down and attempt at a real life “Halo Style” tea bagging. As they start to tea bag Knuckles, they let it rip something fierce. So fierce in fact that it wakes Knuckles up from his slight knockout in time to see a tea bagging about to happen as he flops and rolls out of the way. The figure standing above him is laughing as they pull their pants back up but Knuckles sends a warning shot which catches them right in the asshole before they could complete putting on their pants.
Figure: What the fuck man?
Knuckles: It's what ya' get for tryin' to tea bag me ya' fag. And what the fuck have you been eatin' anyways? That was just rank.
Figure: HA, thought you'd like that. Besides I thought we were here training for your match with Atken?
Knuckles: How does pullin' your pants down and rippin' one in my mouth help my cause?
Figure: Usually, when I pull my pants down and sit on a guy's face, they have no complaints. Do I detect a slight bit of homo-sexuality out of you?
The figure takes off their mask to reveal a very beautiful woman. Her five foot six slender 120 lb frame and C cup rack made her the ideal target for speed in paintball. Her name was Kat, short for Katrina we can only assume, and was an old friend of Knuckles. She's one of the best strippers who currently work at Centerfolds in New York City. For those who don't know, Centerfolds is the premier strip club that has helped some of the biggest names in porn get their start as a stripper. So for anybody to work there, they would have to have AMAZNING talent, if you know what I mean.
Knuckles: And normally I would invite a sexy woman like you to sit on my face but after smelling THAT, damn girl.......lay off the vegan bullshit and start eatin' meat like nature intended.
Kat: Oh, here we go again with the vegan nonsense. Am I helping you train or what?
Knuckles: Bring it on BITCH!!
She throws her mask back on and runs off into the woods as Knuckles scrambles to throw his mask back on and just chucks it and chases her.
*CAP CAP*
Knuckles continues to fire but keeps missing her. She fires back and catches Knuckles in his shoulder. He doesn't seem to be doing very well but I guess that's what training is for right? Silence then befalls the area as Knuckles begins to stalk as quietly as he can. He suddenly gets the idea to take the higher ground and begins climbing the nearest tree. He listens closely as he can hear twigs breaking. He looks over the branch and can see Kat slowly looking for him. She doesn't see him hiding above her as Knuckles begins to move himself into a position to ambush her from above. She has her back turned to him and as Knuckles goes to make his big leap out of the tree, he yells, “GOTCHA!!” but his shoe lace gets caught up in the branch and instead of jumping down, he swings all the way around and slams face first into the tree upside down and continues to hang there. Kat is now rolling on the ground in laughter as Knuckles hangs there upside down.
Knuckles: Ya' gonna' just laugh at my misery or are ya' gonna' help me get down?
Kat: Laugh at you.......
She continues to laugh as Knuckles just sighs to himself. Finally, kat stops laughing and walks over to Knuckles who is now at face level with her crotch.
Knuckles: Ya' done yet or do I get to tongue punch your fart box for a while?
Kat: That sounds like fun but I do believe you have work to do. Besides, my asshole is nice and covered in paint thanks to you.
Knuckles: Well maybe i'll let ya' tea bag me some more later. JUST GET ME DOWN!!!
Just as Knuckles says that, the branch begins to crackle then breaks apart dropping Knuckles on his head from a one foot drop. She helps Knuckles to his feet as he brushes all the crap that got on him when he fell to the ground.
Kat: I been wanting to know, what's with the tea bagging anyways? Is it like a new fetish of your or something?
Knuckles: No. Atken has this thing for tea, or least I think he does since he got his ass handed to him by Farquar at Rasslemania. Something about a tea drinking match or something, I dunno'.
Kat: So what's the point?
Knuckles: I have a feelin' that he would look for a move like that on me so i'm preparin' myself for it.
Kat: Sounds kinda' gay.
Knuckles: He probably is but since he won't come out of the closet, i'll just assume that he likes to embarrass people but I won't allow it to happen to me.
Kat: Ok, so since I won, I think you owe me.
Knuckles: Whatcha' want?
Kat: Tea bagging sounds kinda' kinky.......
She winks at Knuckles and starts to walk off as Knuckles runs up behind her in a playful manor and the scene fades.
Knuckles: So here it is Phil. Out of the qualifying round and into the official start of this thing. How does it feel knowin' that this is where it ends for you? What makes me so confident?
History Phil.
Ya' see, ever since day one; I have been a main-eventer. I came into APW and finished 7th out of 40 at the 2011 Survive and Conquer match and have been nothing but destined for stardom since. At the 2012 Survive and Conquer I finished top 4 out of 86, I ended the APW career of Alioth Starr, the man who won it by the way, and have been at the top spot all up until now. I main-evented Rasslemania for fuck sake and regardless of the outcome, I have proven myself over and over again.
What have you accomplished Phil? The backstage “Branden Harvey Award”? The only thing you can say since your arrival is that you were there. No matter the event, just that you were there. Now here we both are, lookin' to make it to the top. I will admit that I have failed in my attempts to beat Kash whether it be for the World Championship or not. I have unfinished business Atken, where as you have the lovely achievement of “Being There” once again. You are like the Branden Harvey of 2012 but without the sex appeal. Way to work your way to the middle there man.
The difference between you and me in the tournament, aside from me advancing, is that I want it more. It means a hell of a lot more to me than it'll ever mean to you. I want that one more shot at takin' Kash down a peg and if I have to severe a limb to do it, you bet your ass I will. I have nothing against ya' man and this isn't anything personal against you. This is about provin' who deserves the opportunity to BE the best. I'm no superman, you sure as hell aint' no kryptonite. You WILL not stop me on my way to getting' my chance to finish what I had started.
I am just a man Phil. A man with the will that never ends. I refuse to quit and will never back down. How can you compete with that? How can you go head to head with a man who has no shame and keeps gettin' back up? Ya' think you can get the job done? Ya' think you can keep me down long enough to win? I could care less whatcha' think Atken because I came here for a fight. Whether its against you or Callahan's smug sense of retardation, or Sally's late night binging; although I would certainly welcome a nice tea bag session from her, or anybody else who thinks they got this in the bag, it makes no difference. I refuse to quit and my will can't die. I am simply just a man standin' here sayin' I AM!!
Why don't ya' do us all a favor and just go back home? In 11 years of your career, how many titles have ya' held? How many main events have ya' ever been in? I know up there on planet ATKEN, you're the king of everything and are so self absorbed that nothing else matters but down here in REALITY LAND, i'm the king of this Asylum jungle, fuck Jason Kash. I'm the guy who spreads the violence around here and there aint' a single guy backstage who can prove me wrong. Violence is who I am, and i've spilled plenty of blood provin' it. Violence is what Asylum is all about and I sport that brand proudly. Can you say the same Phil? There are those out there that “TRI” to eradicate what this brand is all about and what it represents but I refuse to let that happen.
You are just like the rest Phil. While I push the brand ahead of my own success, you stand there preachin' how great you are. If you're so great, then why do these anti-violent jackasses roam around? Why do you allow them to continue to stain the name of Asylum? You are a leech who sits back and does nothin' just like the rest of your career and while you sit back and watch......it'll be me who walks out of Test For The Best as the man who stood up for Asylum and brought back the violence for which it stands. I'm not some over proud junkie who pretends to care only to get ratings like certain current champions. I see a problem, I fix a problem. Right now Atken, you're the problem and as soon as I “fix” you, those arrogant pricks in “TRI” are next........
His voice echoed throughout the musky morning of the silent woods in upstate New York. With full body camouflage and protective gear on, Johnny Knuckles makes his way through the terrain armed with a Kingman Spyder Fenix Marker and a can of Donkey Punch. (the refreshing drink that HITS the spot)
*CAP CAP*
Shots can be heard coming from behind him as he whips himself around and falling flat on the ground to avoid getting hit. The rustling of some trees and leaves and heard in the distance as someone or something is running around to avoid being seen. Knuckles readies his paintball gun but sees nothing. He takes off his mask as to get a better look. He gets up and heads due south where he thought he might have seen this figure running off.
*CAP CAP*
More shots fired as Knuckles narrowly is missed and fires a few back himself. After a barrage of shots at each other, Knuckles catches a shot in his leg that stings briefly but brings Knuckles to 1 knee. Unknowingly, as he goes down to his knee, Knuckles ALSO catches a shot smack in the forehead and since his protective mask was off, it lays him out rendering him motionless. The figure walks over to check on him but decides to pull his pants down and attempt at a real life “Halo Style” tea bagging. As they start to tea bag Knuckles, they let it rip something fierce. So fierce in fact that it wakes Knuckles up from his slight knockout in time to see a tea bagging about to happen as he flops and rolls out of the way. The figure standing above him is laughing as they pull their pants back up but Knuckles sends a warning shot which catches them right in the asshole before they could complete putting on their pants.
Figure: What the fuck man?
Knuckles: It's what ya' get for tryin' to tea bag me ya' fag. And what the fuck have you been eatin' anyways? That was just rank.
Figure: HA, thought you'd like that. Besides I thought we were here training for your match with Atken?
Knuckles: How does pullin' your pants down and rippin' one in my mouth help my cause?
Figure: Usually, when I pull my pants down and sit on a guy's face, they have no complaints. Do I detect a slight bit of homo-sexuality out of you?
The figure takes off their mask to reveal a very beautiful woman. Her five foot six slender 120 lb frame and C cup rack made her the ideal target for speed in paintball. Her name was Kat, short for Katrina we can only assume, and was an old friend of Knuckles. She's one of the best strippers who currently work at Centerfolds in New York City. For those who don't know, Centerfolds is the premier strip club that has helped some of the biggest names in porn get their start as a stripper. So for anybody to work there, they would have to have AMAZNING talent, if you know what I mean.
Knuckles: And normally I would invite a sexy woman like you to sit on my face but after smelling THAT, damn girl.......lay off the vegan bullshit and start eatin' meat like nature intended.
Kat: Oh, here we go again with the vegan nonsense. Am I helping you train or what?
Knuckles: Bring it on BITCH!!
She throws her mask back on and runs off into the woods as Knuckles scrambles to throw his mask back on and just chucks it and chases her.
*CAP CAP*
Knuckles continues to fire but keeps missing her. She fires back and catches Knuckles in his shoulder. He doesn't seem to be doing very well but I guess that's what training is for right? Silence then befalls the area as Knuckles begins to stalk as quietly as he can. He suddenly gets the idea to take the higher ground and begins climbing the nearest tree. He listens closely as he can hear twigs breaking. He looks over the branch and can see Kat slowly looking for him. She doesn't see him hiding above her as Knuckles begins to move himself into a position to ambush her from above. She has her back turned to him and as Knuckles goes to make his big leap out of the tree, he yells, “GOTCHA!!” but his shoe lace gets caught up in the branch and instead of jumping down, he swings all the way around and slams face first into the tree upside down and continues to hang there. Kat is now rolling on the ground in laughter as Knuckles hangs there upside down.
Knuckles: Ya' gonna' just laugh at my misery or are ya' gonna' help me get down?
Kat: Laugh at you.......
She continues to laugh as Knuckles just sighs to himself. Finally, kat stops laughing and walks over to Knuckles who is now at face level with her crotch.
Knuckles: Ya' done yet or do I get to tongue punch your fart box for a while?
Kat: That sounds like fun but I do believe you have work to do. Besides, my asshole is nice and covered in paint thanks to you.
Knuckles: Well maybe i'll let ya' tea bag me some more later. JUST GET ME DOWN!!!
Just as Knuckles says that, the branch begins to crackle then breaks apart dropping Knuckles on his head from a one foot drop. She helps Knuckles to his feet as he brushes all the crap that got on him when he fell to the ground.
Kat: I been wanting to know, what's with the tea bagging anyways? Is it like a new fetish of your or something?
Knuckles: No. Atken has this thing for tea, or least I think he does since he got his ass handed to him by Farquar at Rasslemania. Something about a tea drinking match or something, I dunno'.
Kat: So what's the point?
Knuckles: I have a feelin' that he would look for a move like that on me so i'm preparin' myself for it.
Kat: Sounds kinda' gay.
Knuckles: He probably is but since he won't come out of the closet, i'll just assume that he likes to embarrass people but I won't allow it to happen to me.
Kat: Ok, so since I won, I think you owe me.
Knuckles: Whatcha' want?
Kat: Tea bagging sounds kinda' kinky.......
She winks at Knuckles and starts to walk off as Knuckles runs up behind her in a playful manor and the scene fades.
Knuckles: So here it is Phil. Out of the qualifying round and into the official start of this thing. How does it feel knowin' that this is where it ends for you? What makes me so confident?
History Phil.
Ya' see, ever since day one; I have been a main-eventer. I came into APW and finished 7th out of 40 at the 2011 Survive and Conquer match and have been nothing but destined for stardom since. At the 2012 Survive and Conquer I finished top 4 out of 86, I ended the APW career of Alioth Starr, the man who won it by the way, and have been at the top spot all up until now. I main-evented Rasslemania for fuck sake and regardless of the outcome, I have proven myself over and over again.
What have you accomplished Phil? The backstage “Branden Harvey Award”? The only thing you can say since your arrival is that you were there. No matter the event, just that you were there. Now here we both are, lookin' to make it to the top. I will admit that I have failed in my attempts to beat Kash whether it be for the World Championship or not. I have unfinished business Atken, where as you have the lovely achievement of “Being There” once again. You are like the Branden Harvey of 2012 but without the sex appeal. Way to work your way to the middle there man.
The difference between you and me in the tournament, aside from me advancing, is that I want it more. It means a hell of a lot more to me than it'll ever mean to you. I want that one more shot at takin' Kash down a peg and if I have to severe a limb to do it, you bet your ass I will. I have nothing against ya' man and this isn't anything personal against you. This is about provin' who deserves the opportunity to BE the best. I'm no superman, you sure as hell aint' no kryptonite. You WILL not stop me on my way to getting' my chance to finish what I had started.
I am just a man Phil. A man with the will that never ends. I refuse to quit and will never back down. How can you compete with that? How can you go head to head with a man who has no shame and keeps gettin' back up? Ya' think you can get the job done? Ya' think you can keep me down long enough to win? I could care less whatcha' think Atken because I came here for a fight. Whether its against you or Callahan's smug sense of retardation, or Sally's late night binging; although I would certainly welcome a nice tea bag session from her, or anybody else who thinks they got this in the bag, it makes no difference. I refuse to quit and my will can't die. I am simply just a man standin' here sayin' I AM!!
Why don't ya' do us all a favor and just go back home? In 11 years of your career, how many titles have ya' held? How many main events have ya' ever been in? I know up there on planet ATKEN, you're the king of everything and are so self absorbed that nothing else matters but down here in REALITY LAND, i'm the king of this Asylum jungle, fuck Jason Kash. I'm the guy who spreads the violence around here and there aint' a single guy backstage who can prove me wrong. Violence is who I am, and i've spilled plenty of blood provin' it. Violence is what Asylum is all about and I sport that brand proudly. Can you say the same Phil? There are those out there that “TRI” to eradicate what this brand is all about and what it represents but I refuse to let that happen.
You are just like the rest Phil. While I push the brand ahead of my own success, you stand there preachin' how great you are. If you're so great, then why do these anti-violent jackasses roam around? Why do you allow them to continue to stain the name of Asylum? You are a leech who sits back and does nothin' just like the rest of your career and while you sit back and watch......it'll be me who walks out of Test For The Best as the man who stood up for Asylum and brought back the violence for which it stands. I'm not some over proud junkie who pretends to care only to get ratings like certain current champions. I see a problem, I fix a problem. Right now Atken, you're the problem and as soon as I “fix” you, those arrogant pricks in “TRI” are next........
