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Post by The Main Attraction on Jul 16, 2012 17:38:38 GMT -4
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Post by Jason Cashe on Jul 16, 2012 22:52:58 GMT -4
You've had good work before? Joking, but I'll give you my two cents on this bit here since picking on you about the past is well...only fun for me! Haha
The flashback is cool but WAY too long and too much space taken. To me, flashbacks of results or something someone else might have wrote shouldn't ever be counted towards your promo. However if you took that out of the judging, you'd have a shorter promo but you don't get credited for posting old results. It's almost pointless to do so, this promo from that stand point is better fitted for the House Show section.
That being said though, you connected the flash back to current times very nicely and from that point on did rather well with writing. The verbal assault was a step up in your case, much better than I've seen from you with any character. I've always thought Young Mannie was your diamond in the rough because you try to rap in real life and Mannie fits that poser image. Haha not trying to shit on you, although it surely sounds that way. Just saying, you relate to him more so than your other characters.
I had mentioned to you that if you return, return as just Mannie. You've done that and I think if you continue on this path and maybe cut down the flash backs but keep it Mannie, show is struggle don't just preach it. Then you'll be fine and have a good run.
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