Post by Your JESUS on Aug 21, 2012 22:57:54 GMT -4
As Chubs fat fingers can be heard fumbling around on the switch of the camera it finally comes to life. Here I stand, your Savior, Meltdown's Messiah, and Champion in front of a white board with a teachers desk at my thighs. If I didn't paint the picture great enough let me cut to the chase and say we are in an classroom. There are a few students spread out among the various desks. I clear my throat to end the chatter these fourth grade pukes seem to be engaged in.
Lively: Alright shut your dickholes, class has started.
The children look toward me as do many people I engage with, disgusted.
Lively: Today's lesson you little fetuses is going to cover things like Gimmick Infringement, Alpha Male Dominance, and How to be a Rugged man.
A young girl who in my personal opinion looks a bit bi-polar raises her hand as her jaw chomps on bubble gum.
Lively: Yes you...future street walker what is it?
Girl: Uh first my name is Lil Karmin, second I don't know what a street walker is, and third why do I need to learn how to be a man?
Lively: You know what, you just sit there in silence and chomp that gum. It will strengthen your jaw muscles which should come in real handy later on in life. Her eyes roll displeased with my command. Suddenly one of the boys pipes up adding to my retort.
Boy: yeah stoopid bich, keep ya mouf shut.
My head snaps toward this mouthy little ass raper that just spoke out of turn. My eye brows raised in concern for his safety because my first instinct was to punch him in his face for piggy backing my comments. My second instinct was to bitch slap him hoping it would work like thumping a flickering TV and straighten out his clear mental disfunction.
Lively: Whoa, what the hell, are you a fucking hair lip or something?
Boy: what...no! i's be...
I put my hand up stopping the boy in mid sentence.
Lively: Alright we need to hold off on all lessons for a minute.
I grab a ruler from my desk and slap it on my palm as I pace back and forth.
Lively: Clearly I am the teacher, and you are the student...what is your name child?
Boy: i's be lil Shane!
I place my hand over my forehead baffled but not surprised. Just then another boy pipes up.
Second Boy: Dien Mutter Saugt Schweine!!!
My eyes light with fury. My feet pedal as I scamper over in a flash and crack this chubby garble mouthed kid in the face with my ruler. I take a breath to calm my nerves that have just risen after only seconds of dealing with these young douche canoes.
Lively: None of that in the presence of the JESUS, people speaking in tongues always freaks me out.
Once more I am interrupted by yet another student. This time a young Asian girl.
Girl: Actually he was speaking German, and he said your mother suckles pigs.
I pause momentarily glaring toward this know it all Asian.
Lively: You know he is right, my mother is a fucking whore. German you say...
I turn to the pudgemeister who is holding his cheek.
Lively: That what you said Tubby Tommy?
Boy: Yes and it's lil Stefan.
With that revelation I shake my head not surprised at all. I look over to the Asian smarty pants giving her the thumbs up. She mockingly shoots me one back like a real little bitch. You know the type always trying to show her wits are a bit more superior to yours, fucking hate that. Mostly because said females are always right.
Lively: And let me guess your name is lil Sally?
The girl nods her head at my correct assumption. With all that out of the way I turn back to Shane, the poor hair lipped retard who needs extra attention in the classroom. I intend to give him that.
Lively: Shane, go over to the board and write me out a sentence as I say it out loud. Do your best little guy, we have faith in you!!
Lil Stefan: Schizer!!!
I glare to the candy ass German and he zips his lip. Shane then takes ahold of a dry erase marker with his knobby knees clanking together. He begins writing along with my verbalization.
Lively: My name is Shane, and with my current mental state I will surely end up hanging sheet rock later in life.
The classroom snickers at my sentence, but the real laughter takes place as Shane displays his work for us all to see.
"my nam is shain n wit my kurant mintil stat i wil surly end up hangen scheet roc later in lif."
I wave my hands to calm the laughter.
Lively: So Shane, looking at your work, how do you think you did?
Shane looks at his sentence, rereads it, then turns toward me with his arms crossed looking proud.
Shane: I fink I diwd awesome!!! If you were handwing out rewawrds I woud deserwve one!
Lively: Really!!! You know what little tike, you keep up that positive thinking. The Thomas the Train attitude of the little train that could, hooray for you!!
I snap the ruler over my knee a call for Sally to come up to the desk.
Lively: Class, listen up. I QUIT. I don't want to be your teacher. I don't want to tell you how to capitalize. I don't want to teach you nouns, and such. So I will be leaving Smarty Pants Sally here in charge. She will be your new teacher. Let me just say this, I think you are all fine just the way you are. Society has become a safe place where we can coddle you fucking idiots forever hoping your feelings are spared. Hell you are ready for the real world if you ask me. So if you wish to continue your education then remain seated. If you think you no longer need things like learning and are set to tackle the world head on with your meager fourth grade education then jump up and be free children!!
The kids leap from their seats as Sally's little face slumps with disappointment. I cup my hands over my mouth and holler out to the flock of dismissed students as they scurry out.
Lively: That's it be free...go lay concrete or cut grass for Golf courses!!! Hell some of you will possibly even get a shot at my title in the near future!!!
As Sally is left at the desk I shrug my shoulders and head for the door myself. I flip off the light as I leave this classroom to girl to simply lay down the law to nothing but empty seats.
Moments later...
My stroll takes me across the school to the gymnasium. I walk on the basketball court looking at the empty bleachers. I out stretch my arms underneath the dim lights shinning down upon me. With my back to the camera Chubs sports on his right shoulder I begin talking.
Lively: Shane, my poor boy. I am not sure if I should congratulate you or feel pity. You have before you a daunting task. You have to fight through all the tangles of dead cells inside your brain and try to formulate a cohesive structure of sentences to slap together in an attempt to reply to this promo. You will pollute APW with another awful piece of Monkey feces to stink up the faithful as they suffer through your nonsensical manure that you refer to as championship caliber quality production. That has to be extremely hard to handle. None the less I am no longer taking the role as your teacher. If you didn't notice I quit. Hell you have made this far in life with that sub par peanut brain who am I to tell you any different. I just know they may wish to reverse the cut off limits for abortion, you are living proof that we should literally terminate our children way into their twenties. At the end of the day, your parents may be too scared, but thankfully your friendly neighborhood JESUS is here to save the day. Shockwave I will serve as the coat hanger that finally aborts Shane Borderland.
I spin around for the camera, and it zooms in on my face, which is in full "spit hot fire" mode.
Lively: I tried to be your teacher but you proved too stupid to be taught. I tried to be your motivator, and you showed yourself to be lacking in drive. I tried to expose the world to the fact that you aren't ready for the bright lights, and you retreated to the shadows of defeat. Yet you rallied back, congratulations. Let me sum up this entire thing in one word...NIRVANA!!!
I pause briefly letting what I just said process through that jungle of stupidity that is Shane Borderlands brain, because I know he is watching. How else would he be able to shoot a promo to hype our match if he first didn't have my brilliance to skim off of. Disgraceful.
Lively: That's right Shane, this will serve as your Nirvana moment. "COME AS YOU ARE" and you have already lost. This is your big chance, your moment for glory. Think of it as a first date. You don't show up fresh from work in your boots with dust all over your face do you? Maybe you do, which could explain those Popeye-esque forearms!!!
I motion to the camera as if I am masterbatting which gets a chuckle out of Chubs.
Lively: Right now you are probably sitting in your locker room or on your couch, doing a double ski pole gimmick with your two pals....
Chubs pulls his face from the viewfinder confused. I quickly motion my hands as if I were skiing down a mountain.
Lively: Now imagine those two guys he hangs with on either side of him...he's cranking both their Ski poles. Get it fat boy?
I snake my head as if I am dealing with complete idiots.
Lively: Listen, let go of their kielbasa's briefly and lean forward. I want you to understand the severity in which I will dismantle you at Shockwave. My season as champion is "IN BLOOM", and you my poor sap are just the one who likes all my pretty songs. Your retardation has you knowing not what you do. Thankfully I will slap the shit out of you so hard even an autistic child would come back to reality. For you, it will be a sad truth that yes indeed you made it to the big show. Yes, pat yourself on the back...you got a title shot. Behind all those fancy accolades comes the disappointment that one your were never cut out for this; and two, you aren't even qualified to hand wash the crotch sweat from my tights. While you are in the back waiting for our match and those fancy butterflies in your stomach start to flutter I want you to embrace it. I want you to remember this match for ever. Shockwave will be historic, and our two names will forever be linked to this match. Me as the victor and savior and you as the one I exposed for the cut rate, half assed sack of horse shit wrestler that doesn't belong at the top. Up here my friend, in the realm of greatness you have to dot your I's, cross your T's, and from time to time Capitalize shit. This is the elite where hard work pays off, and second rate comes up short. Thank goodness the last few weeks have trained you just for that very thing...short comings!!
I walk over to the bleachers and have a seat. I lean back arrogantly with my back pressed on the the seats above me and cross my legs like a real modern day Chuck Norris of manhood.
Lively: You think you can just soar right to the top don't you Shane, you think it's going to be easy for you? You silly bird, should we call you "POLLY", if so let me get some seed. Let me be the first to clip your dirty wings, I will take your broke dick ass for a ride...but first let me please myself. My pleasure will come with every wince of pain that you mumble out at the hands of this torturous and angry wrestling God that loves to be called JESUS. Tis no game you signed up to play sunshine. This isn't like sitting on your couch while your fat friends slurp down Spray cheese while you work out your thumbs on an X-box controller. Better yet you could be one of those REAL creeps that roleplays. You know pretends to be someone in a make believe world...
I shiver in fear at the thought of that pack of weirdos.
Lively: Well either way the act is up little man. Time for the nuts to drop. I know it made your less then average man parts look big when you sport those baby nuts around town while you pick up dudes, but times up. To get at me, to get at the belt you wish to claim, you had better let those fuckers really drop. Where I roam, at the top of Mount Zion we piss on our sacks daily...I'm talking champion size balls my friend!!!
I stand up grabbing my crotch with a smile as I enjoy feeling the power of God in my own hands.
Lively: Shane let me ask you this, where do piss poor wrestlers go when they die? I can give you a hint it's not to heaven where the angels fly. They go to a "LAKE OF FIRE" to fry. I own that lake squid lips, I set that bitch on fire. Sunday night I bring you into the deep waters of that fiery pool. I think the lyrics go something like this..."People cry, people moan
Look for a dry place to call their home
Try to find some place to rest their bones
While the angels and the devils try to make them their own".
I step toward the camera grabbing it by the lens trying to get Shane's attention as he sits somewhere with his fat boyfriend sleeping on his shoulder, in what he calls a "creative process".
Lively: I am not an Angel my dear boy, and you will be facing off with something much worse then a devil. I am Michael Lively, your North American Champion, the mother fucking JESUS!!! The Devil can't help you, and Angels will simply kick back to watch the show. I will put on one hell of a spectacle come Shockwave Shane. It will be nothing short of a miracle if you make it out of our match with the will to continue on with this farce you call a career. The title you are attempting to achieve is not in jeopardy in the least, so I can just leave it home.
I throw Chubs and the camera back as I continue.
Lively: I am not showing up to defend my belt, I am not showing up to compete with you. I am simply coming to Shockwave to do my job...which is and always has been to beat the royal horse shit out of the unworthy. You Shane on Sunday night will be playing the part of the unworthy. I will be the man torturing your mind, body and spirit. I will push you further then you have ever been pushed. I will lean on you harder then you can imagine. That weight represents the pressures of greatness, which I know your pansy ass knees don't have the strength to endure. From the start of the match Shane you can think of yourself as Jewish. Me, call me Hitler's personal chef. I am just here to burn your ass alive in my oven!!! The good news for you, we can call you Zack Morris because you will be saved by the bell. Yes this nightmare will come to an end. Sadly three seconds can be a lifetime amidst agony and pain.
I simply fold my arms as I try to wrap up little little dose of inspiration for the challenger of my newly won title.
Lively: There will be those who say you should get an A for effort, I simply wish to give you what you deserve and it stands for nothing more then failure. Lofty goals you have here Shane, shooting for the Heavens of Mount Zion sunshine. I already mentioned I will be clipping your wings, and while I am at it, people will remember Shockwave as the night I also clipped your nuts. For success Shane you have to be realistic, with you new neutered state maybe APW can crown you the women's champion...because North American Champion is something that will not be accompanied with your name other then being the first man to choke on my dick in a failed attempt to seduce the title from my death grip. In the end Shane you chose to continue on this path in the hopes to find Nirvana, I will prove to be nothing more then the double barrel shotgun that will Curt Cobain your ass in the middle of the ring!!!! Period point blank, schools out little guy, but your lesson in life will be with the master of all you wish to be and achieve. Michael Lively, the thorn in your side, and after Shockwave the nut in your eye...because finally you will know where I' m cuming from!!!
With that I out stretch my arms in the I am JESUS pose. Chubs tries to be artistic with the shot capturing some light behind me to accent my sheer manliness. After a second I break from the pose and kick the fat cameraman in the balls. He drops the camera and it cuts to nothing more then static but you can still here my sick laughter as Chubs groans in dangler aching pain.
Lively: Alright shut your dickholes, class has started.
The children look toward me as do many people I engage with, disgusted.
Lively: Today's lesson you little fetuses is going to cover things like Gimmick Infringement, Alpha Male Dominance, and How to be a Rugged man.
A young girl who in my personal opinion looks a bit bi-polar raises her hand as her jaw chomps on bubble gum.
Lively: Yes you...future street walker what is it?
Girl: Uh first my name is Lil Karmin, second I don't know what a street walker is, and third why do I need to learn how to be a man?
Lively: You know what, you just sit there in silence and chomp that gum. It will strengthen your jaw muscles which should come in real handy later on in life. Her eyes roll displeased with my command. Suddenly one of the boys pipes up adding to my retort.
Boy: yeah stoopid bich, keep ya mouf shut.
My head snaps toward this mouthy little ass raper that just spoke out of turn. My eye brows raised in concern for his safety because my first instinct was to punch him in his face for piggy backing my comments. My second instinct was to bitch slap him hoping it would work like thumping a flickering TV and straighten out his clear mental disfunction.
Lively: Whoa, what the hell, are you a fucking hair lip or something?
Boy: what...no! i's be...
I put my hand up stopping the boy in mid sentence.
Lively: Alright we need to hold off on all lessons for a minute.
I grab a ruler from my desk and slap it on my palm as I pace back and forth.
Lively: Clearly I am the teacher, and you are the student...what is your name child?
Boy: i's be lil Shane!
I place my hand over my forehead baffled but not surprised. Just then another boy pipes up.
Second Boy: Dien Mutter Saugt Schweine!!!
My eyes light with fury. My feet pedal as I scamper over in a flash and crack this chubby garble mouthed kid in the face with my ruler. I take a breath to calm my nerves that have just risen after only seconds of dealing with these young douche canoes.
Lively: None of that in the presence of the JESUS, people speaking in tongues always freaks me out.
Once more I am interrupted by yet another student. This time a young Asian girl.
Girl: Actually he was speaking German, and he said your mother suckles pigs.
I pause momentarily glaring toward this know it all Asian.
Lively: You know he is right, my mother is a fucking whore. German you say...
I turn to the pudgemeister who is holding his cheek.
Lively: That what you said Tubby Tommy?
Boy: Yes and it's lil Stefan.
With that revelation I shake my head not surprised at all. I look over to the Asian smarty pants giving her the thumbs up. She mockingly shoots me one back like a real little bitch. You know the type always trying to show her wits are a bit more superior to yours, fucking hate that. Mostly because said females are always right.
Lively: And let me guess your name is lil Sally?
The girl nods her head at my correct assumption. With all that out of the way I turn back to Shane, the poor hair lipped retard who needs extra attention in the classroom. I intend to give him that.
Lively: Shane, go over to the board and write me out a sentence as I say it out loud. Do your best little guy, we have faith in you!!
Lil Stefan: Schizer!!!
I glare to the candy ass German and he zips his lip. Shane then takes ahold of a dry erase marker with his knobby knees clanking together. He begins writing along with my verbalization.
Lively: My name is Shane, and with my current mental state I will surely end up hanging sheet rock later in life.
The classroom snickers at my sentence, but the real laughter takes place as Shane displays his work for us all to see.
"my nam is shain n wit my kurant mintil stat i wil surly end up hangen scheet roc later in lif."
I wave my hands to calm the laughter.
Lively: So Shane, looking at your work, how do you think you did?
Shane looks at his sentence, rereads it, then turns toward me with his arms crossed looking proud.
Shane: I fink I diwd awesome!!! If you were handwing out rewawrds I woud deserwve one!
Lively: Really!!! You know what little tike, you keep up that positive thinking. The Thomas the Train attitude of the little train that could, hooray for you!!
I snap the ruler over my knee a call for Sally to come up to the desk.
Lively: Class, listen up. I QUIT. I don't want to be your teacher. I don't want to tell you how to capitalize. I don't want to teach you nouns, and such. So I will be leaving Smarty Pants Sally here in charge. She will be your new teacher. Let me just say this, I think you are all fine just the way you are. Society has become a safe place where we can coddle you fucking idiots forever hoping your feelings are spared. Hell you are ready for the real world if you ask me. So if you wish to continue your education then remain seated. If you think you no longer need things like learning and are set to tackle the world head on with your meager fourth grade education then jump up and be free children!!
The kids leap from their seats as Sally's little face slumps with disappointment. I cup my hands over my mouth and holler out to the flock of dismissed students as they scurry out.
Lively: That's it be free...go lay concrete or cut grass for Golf courses!!! Hell some of you will possibly even get a shot at my title in the near future!!!
As Sally is left at the desk I shrug my shoulders and head for the door myself. I flip off the light as I leave this classroom to girl to simply lay down the law to nothing but empty seats.
Moments later...
My stroll takes me across the school to the gymnasium. I walk on the basketball court looking at the empty bleachers. I out stretch my arms underneath the dim lights shinning down upon me. With my back to the camera Chubs sports on his right shoulder I begin talking.
Lively: Shane, my poor boy. I am not sure if I should congratulate you or feel pity. You have before you a daunting task. You have to fight through all the tangles of dead cells inside your brain and try to formulate a cohesive structure of sentences to slap together in an attempt to reply to this promo. You will pollute APW with another awful piece of Monkey feces to stink up the faithful as they suffer through your nonsensical manure that you refer to as championship caliber quality production. That has to be extremely hard to handle. None the less I am no longer taking the role as your teacher. If you didn't notice I quit. Hell you have made this far in life with that sub par peanut brain who am I to tell you any different. I just know they may wish to reverse the cut off limits for abortion, you are living proof that we should literally terminate our children way into their twenties. At the end of the day, your parents may be too scared, but thankfully your friendly neighborhood JESUS is here to save the day. Shockwave I will serve as the coat hanger that finally aborts Shane Borderland.
I spin around for the camera, and it zooms in on my face, which is in full "spit hot fire" mode.
Lively: I tried to be your teacher but you proved too stupid to be taught. I tried to be your motivator, and you showed yourself to be lacking in drive. I tried to expose the world to the fact that you aren't ready for the bright lights, and you retreated to the shadows of defeat. Yet you rallied back, congratulations. Let me sum up this entire thing in one word...NIRVANA!!!
I pause briefly letting what I just said process through that jungle of stupidity that is Shane Borderlands brain, because I know he is watching. How else would he be able to shoot a promo to hype our match if he first didn't have my brilliance to skim off of. Disgraceful.
Lively: That's right Shane, this will serve as your Nirvana moment. "COME AS YOU ARE" and you have already lost. This is your big chance, your moment for glory. Think of it as a first date. You don't show up fresh from work in your boots with dust all over your face do you? Maybe you do, which could explain those Popeye-esque forearms!!!
I motion to the camera as if I am masterbatting which gets a chuckle out of Chubs.
Lively: Right now you are probably sitting in your locker room or on your couch, doing a double ski pole gimmick with your two pals....
Chubs pulls his face from the viewfinder confused. I quickly motion my hands as if I were skiing down a mountain.
Lively: Now imagine those two guys he hangs with on either side of him...he's cranking both their Ski poles. Get it fat boy?
I snake my head as if I am dealing with complete idiots.
Lively: Listen, let go of their kielbasa's briefly and lean forward. I want you to understand the severity in which I will dismantle you at Shockwave. My season as champion is "IN BLOOM", and you my poor sap are just the one who likes all my pretty songs. Your retardation has you knowing not what you do. Thankfully I will slap the shit out of you so hard even an autistic child would come back to reality. For you, it will be a sad truth that yes indeed you made it to the big show. Yes, pat yourself on the back...you got a title shot. Behind all those fancy accolades comes the disappointment that one your were never cut out for this; and two, you aren't even qualified to hand wash the crotch sweat from my tights. While you are in the back waiting for our match and those fancy butterflies in your stomach start to flutter I want you to embrace it. I want you to remember this match for ever. Shockwave will be historic, and our two names will forever be linked to this match. Me as the victor and savior and you as the one I exposed for the cut rate, half assed sack of horse shit wrestler that doesn't belong at the top. Up here my friend, in the realm of greatness you have to dot your I's, cross your T's, and from time to time Capitalize shit. This is the elite where hard work pays off, and second rate comes up short. Thank goodness the last few weeks have trained you just for that very thing...short comings!!
I walk over to the bleachers and have a seat. I lean back arrogantly with my back pressed on the the seats above me and cross my legs like a real modern day Chuck Norris of manhood.
Lively: You think you can just soar right to the top don't you Shane, you think it's going to be easy for you? You silly bird, should we call you "POLLY", if so let me get some seed. Let me be the first to clip your dirty wings, I will take your broke dick ass for a ride...but first let me please myself. My pleasure will come with every wince of pain that you mumble out at the hands of this torturous and angry wrestling God that loves to be called JESUS. Tis no game you signed up to play sunshine. This isn't like sitting on your couch while your fat friends slurp down Spray cheese while you work out your thumbs on an X-box controller. Better yet you could be one of those REAL creeps that roleplays. You know pretends to be someone in a make believe world...
I shiver in fear at the thought of that pack of weirdos.
Lively: Well either way the act is up little man. Time for the nuts to drop. I know it made your less then average man parts look big when you sport those baby nuts around town while you pick up dudes, but times up. To get at me, to get at the belt you wish to claim, you had better let those fuckers really drop. Where I roam, at the top of Mount Zion we piss on our sacks daily...I'm talking champion size balls my friend!!!
I stand up grabbing my crotch with a smile as I enjoy feeling the power of God in my own hands.
Lively: Shane let me ask you this, where do piss poor wrestlers go when they die? I can give you a hint it's not to heaven where the angels fly. They go to a "LAKE OF FIRE" to fry. I own that lake squid lips, I set that bitch on fire. Sunday night I bring you into the deep waters of that fiery pool. I think the lyrics go something like this..."People cry, people moan
Look for a dry place to call their home
Try to find some place to rest their bones
While the angels and the devils try to make them their own".
I step toward the camera grabbing it by the lens trying to get Shane's attention as he sits somewhere with his fat boyfriend sleeping on his shoulder, in what he calls a "creative process".
Lively: I am not an Angel my dear boy, and you will be facing off with something much worse then a devil. I am Michael Lively, your North American Champion, the mother fucking JESUS!!! The Devil can't help you, and Angels will simply kick back to watch the show. I will put on one hell of a spectacle come Shockwave Shane. It will be nothing short of a miracle if you make it out of our match with the will to continue on with this farce you call a career. The title you are attempting to achieve is not in jeopardy in the least, so I can just leave it home.
I throw Chubs and the camera back as I continue.
Lively: I am not showing up to defend my belt, I am not showing up to compete with you. I am simply coming to Shockwave to do my job...which is and always has been to beat the royal horse shit out of the unworthy. You Shane on Sunday night will be playing the part of the unworthy. I will be the man torturing your mind, body and spirit. I will push you further then you have ever been pushed. I will lean on you harder then you can imagine. That weight represents the pressures of greatness, which I know your pansy ass knees don't have the strength to endure. From the start of the match Shane you can think of yourself as Jewish. Me, call me Hitler's personal chef. I am just here to burn your ass alive in my oven!!! The good news for you, we can call you Zack Morris because you will be saved by the bell. Yes this nightmare will come to an end. Sadly three seconds can be a lifetime amidst agony and pain.
I simply fold my arms as I try to wrap up little little dose of inspiration for the challenger of my newly won title.
Lively: There will be those who say you should get an A for effort, I simply wish to give you what you deserve and it stands for nothing more then failure. Lofty goals you have here Shane, shooting for the Heavens of Mount Zion sunshine. I already mentioned I will be clipping your wings, and while I am at it, people will remember Shockwave as the night I also clipped your nuts. For success Shane you have to be realistic, with you new neutered state maybe APW can crown you the women's champion...because North American Champion is something that will not be accompanied with your name other then being the first man to choke on my dick in a failed attempt to seduce the title from my death grip. In the end Shane you chose to continue on this path in the hopes to find Nirvana, I will prove to be nothing more then the double barrel shotgun that will Curt Cobain your ass in the middle of the ring!!!! Period point blank, schools out little guy, but your lesson in life will be with the master of all you wish to be and achieve. Michael Lively, the thorn in your side, and after Shockwave the nut in your eye...because finally you will know where I' m cuming from!!!
With that I out stretch my arms in the I am JESUS pose. Chubs tries to be artistic with the shot capturing some light behind me to accent my sheer manliness. After a second I break from the pose and kick the fat cameraman in the balls. He drops the camera and it cuts to nothing more then static but you can still here my sick laughter as Chubs groans in dangler aching pain.
