Post by Jason Royce on Feb 29, 2008 0:53:14 GMT -4
*"The Iceman" Jason Royce, being the man he is, looks on as all the guys in this week's battle royal cut their promos. Jason finds it funny that Jeff, the boss, is going out with The White Lion's Mom and Sabur's talking about buying a midget. So Jason looks up from the TV and grabs a note pad that has some rhymes written in it, and Jason begins to voice once of those rhymes.*
Jason: “I been in the game for ten years... making rap tunes ever since honeys was wearing Sassoon... Now it's '95 and they clock me and watch me Diamonds shining looking like I robbed………..” What the fuck was I going to say? I don't remember. It seems to me that I suck just as bad at writing a rhyme as I do trying to get a god damn win here in APW.
*Jason throws down the rest of the rhyme and grabs a drink, listening to the rest of the promos. He figures its time to drop a promo of his own.*
Jason: I never thought that Jeff would go for the older woman I mean... Hell, I thought he had better taste then The White Lion's Mom. She is one hell of an ugly bitch... I hope to God Jeff wears protection 'cause I don’t think he wants to get Aids or anything. Come to think of it... the only thing he has to worry about is the fact that The White Lion could be his kid... But I'm not going there.
*Jason drops to the floor laughing when his cell phone rings.*
Jason: Hello what do you want???
On the Phone: Just giving you a head's up. Be careful what you say 'cause a lot of guys are out to get you and will even go as far as jump you in the back.
Jason: What the fuck are you saying, Boy? First off, who the hell are you and how the fuck did you get my cell number?
On the Phone: No time to dwell on shit like that. Just watch your back... That's all I'm going to say...
*The person on the phone hangs up on Jason. He wonders why some stranger got his cell number and why they would warn him about being jumped.*
Jason: That was fucking strange... Who ever gave out my cell number is a dead man. I remember something that Sabur said with his agent... something about wanting a midget, I mean, come on Sabur, why do you need a midget? Are you that desperate that you need someone smaller then you so that you will not feel left out of being pleasured? I know you like the little guy.
*Jason grabs the couch and laughs to the point that he has to run to the can because he is about to piss himself laughing. The scene breaks as Jason is in the bathroom.*
*Back from break, Jason is walking around outside, having a smoke when he thinks of that missing lyric for his rhyme, “Liberace”... That's it... Jason puts out the smoke and heads in but is cut off by that little pest, Phil.*
Jason: Phil... What the fuck do you want? Didn’t I tell you to fucking leave me alone? Why don't you get the message?
Phil: Jason I am not here to cause trouble. I just want to ask you one serious question.
Jason: What's that?
Phil: Are you going to win the battle royal? If you don’t are you finally going to quit the APW and run out like the little bitch that you are? You do know that no one here likes you, right? They fucking hate you and everything you stand for so quit before you get your ass kicked this week, you stupid bitch.
Jason: Listen you fucking retard I have told you over and over again. I don't care if everyone hates me around here. I am not here to make new friends or make enemies. I am here 'cause of one thing and that is what John Green is holding. That is the biggest prize in this fucking business so before you open you fucking mouth again let me stick my boot in your mouth and see how you like it. Hell, you seem to like when guys stick their boots in your mouth since you always seem to stick yours in your mouth all the time.
Phil: Jason you are an idiot, I swear to god you still do not get what I told you, do you? The only reason you are here is 'cause you are the boss's bitch or fall guy. You suck at doing promos. Talking to you is like talking to a wall. No one is listening so please quit and never come back.
Jason: OK, you fucking pathetic loser. I am tired of your bullshit... your fucking lying... and just the way your mouth does not seem to stop moving. I should beat your ass right here and right now 'till you are left bleeding. I am sick of you and your piss poor attitude. So once again before I get violent, leave me the fuck alone and piss off.
*Phil runs off, probably to bitch to Jeff about how The Iceman threatened to kill him or even just leave him in a pool of his own blood. Like Jason cared... Jason heads back inside and sits in the empty arena gathering his thoughts about what could be his last shot at getting into the title picture.*
Jason: People never give me the benefit of trying to be myself... I have to be someone I'm not. Some hot shot loser... When in my heart I am a hot shot winner... Yet I still haven't gotten a win. I am getting sick and fucking tired of being the one guy that puts everyone else over in every match that I am in.
*The Iceman pauses to take a breath.*
Jason: You see, no matter what I do or what I say, I get guys like Phil running me down. And as if that isn't bad enough, I lose every match I am in... even to the worst guys around. No, wait, the worst guy around is me. I suck compared to the other guys in the business so maybe I should quit. No, wait fuck that! I'm not going to quit! I am going to win that match and show Jeff and the brass around here that I am not just a guy looking to make a name around this business.
*Jason Gets up and heads out as the scene ends.*
Jason: “I been in the game for ten years... making rap tunes ever since honeys was wearing Sassoon... Now it's '95 and they clock me and watch me Diamonds shining looking like I robbed………..” What the fuck was I going to say? I don't remember. It seems to me that I suck just as bad at writing a rhyme as I do trying to get a god damn win here in APW.
*Jason throws down the rest of the rhyme and grabs a drink, listening to the rest of the promos. He figures its time to drop a promo of his own.*
Jason: I never thought that Jeff would go for the older woman I mean... Hell, I thought he had better taste then The White Lion's Mom. She is one hell of an ugly bitch... I hope to God Jeff wears protection 'cause I don’t think he wants to get Aids or anything. Come to think of it... the only thing he has to worry about is the fact that The White Lion could be his kid... But I'm not going there.
*Jason drops to the floor laughing when his cell phone rings.*
Jason: Hello what do you want???
On the Phone: Just giving you a head's up. Be careful what you say 'cause a lot of guys are out to get you and will even go as far as jump you in the back.
Jason: What the fuck are you saying, Boy? First off, who the hell are you and how the fuck did you get my cell number?
On the Phone: No time to dwell on shit like that. Just watch your back... That's all I'm going to say...
*The person on the phone hangs up on Jason. He wonders why some stranger got his cell number and why they would warn him about being jumped.*
Jason: That was fucking strange... Who ever gave out my cell number is a dead man. I remember something that Sabur said with his agent... something about wanting a midget, I mean, come on Sabur, why do you need a midget? Are you that desperate that you need someone smaller then you so that you will not feel left out of being pleasured? I know you like the little guy.
*Jason grabs the couch and laughs to the point that he has to run to the can because he is about to piss himself laughing. The scene breaks as Jason is in the bathroom.*
*Back from break, Jason is walking around outside, having a smoke when he thinks of that missing lyric for his rhyme, “Liberace”... That's it... Jason puts out the smoke and heads in but is cut off by that little pest, Phil.*
Jason: Phil... What the fuck do you want? Didn’t I tell you to fucking leave me alone? Why don't you get the message?
Phil: Jason I am not here to cause trouble. I just want to ask you one serious question.
Jason: What's that?
Phil: Are you going to win the battle royal? If you don’t are you finally going to quit the APW and run out like the little bitch that you are? You do know that no one here likes you, right? They fucking hate you and everything you stand for so quit before you get your ass kicked this week, you stupid bitch.
Jason: Listen you fucking retard I have told you over and over again. I don't care if everyone hates me around here. I am not here to make new friends or make enemies. I am here 'cause of one thing and that is what John Green is holding. That is the biggest prize in this fucking business so before you open you fucking mouth again let me stick my boot in your mouth and see how you like it. Hell, you seem to like when guys stick their boots in your mouth since you always seem to stick yours in your mouth all the time.
Phil: Jason you are an idiot, I swear to god you still do not get what I told you, do you? The only reason you are here is 'cause you are the boss's bitch or fall guy. You suck at doing promos. Talking to you is like talking to a wall. No one is listening so please quit and never come back.
Jason: OK, you fucking pathetic loser. I am tired of your bullshit... your fucking lying... and just the way your mouth does not seem to stop moving. I should beat your ass right here and right now 'till you are left bleeding. I am sick of you and your piss poor attitude. So once again before I get violent, leave me the fuck alone and piss off.
*Phil runs off, probably to bitch to Jeff about how The Iceman threatened to kill him or even just leave him in a pool of his own blood. Like Jason cared... Jason heads back inside and sits in the empty arena gathering his thoughts about what could be his last shot at getting into the title picture.*
Jason: People never give me the benefit of trying to be myself... I have to be someone I'm not. Some hot shot loser... When in my heart I am a hot shot winner... Yet I still haven't gotten a win. I am getting sick and fucking tired of being the one guy that puts everyone else over in every match that I am in.
*The Iceman pauses to take a breath.*
Jason: You see, no matter what I do or what I say, I get guys like Phil running me down. And as if that isn't bad enough, I lose every match I am in... even to the worst guys around. No, wait, the worst guy around is me. I suck compared to the other guys in the business so maybe I should quit. No, wait fuck that! I'm not going to quit! I am going to win that match and show Jeff and the brass around here that I am not just a guy looking to make a name around this business.
*Jason Gets up and heads out as the scene ends.*
