Post by John Green on Mar 2, 2008 21:34:30 GMT -4
[Fade in on the now famous Ashton & Kutcher talent agency. That old familiar office of Miranda Ashton is exactly how we left it and the vivacious talent agent sits behind her desk staring at her number one client John Green sitting across from her.]
Miranda: What the hell was that about?!
Green: What?
Miranda: That little post match attack on Logan on that indy fed! The Head Splitter onto the belt, Green?!
Green: Look, I was just trying to help him up and I slipped.
Miranda: You slipped?! You're lucky Gregory hasn't suspended you, and all you got was that small fine! I don't care if he did attack you.
Green: Fine? ME?! You should fine the ring attendants! That mat was so sweaty my legs slipped right out from under me when I was helping him up...
Miranda: Then how do you explain kicking him in the gut while pretending to shake his hand?
Green: Well, that's just funny.
Miranda: What am I going to do with you?
Green: Look babe, I know you didn't call me here to brow beat me. You usually do that over the phone, and in e-mails, and through faxes, and ....
Miranda: JOHN!
Green: Wow, you really bitch a lot!
Miranda: JOHN!!!!!
Green: My point is that I am a very busy man. I am already late for a date with Keira Knightley.... So if we could get on with it...
Miranda: You're right! This Monday night you will be heading to Barre, Vermont. The APW will be holding some kind of Monday Night Overdrive special where a rumble will take place to see who the #1 contnder for your title is and you are scheduled to compete in some kind of Champion vs Champion Exhibition.
Green: Oh... SWEET! Who am I facing again?
Miranda: You will be taking on APW Xtremem Champion Trevor Blackwell...
Green: Who?
Miranda: Trevor Blackwell...
Green: Who?!
Miranda: Trevor... The one of the only undefeated people in APW!!
Green: WHO? WHO? WHO?!
Miranda: Don't you pay any attention to the rest of the company?
Green: Not really, no....
Miranda: The man has one of the most impressive streaks I have ever seen. He has defeated nearly every top superstar and as Xtreme Champion, he has come close to taking the World Championship.
Green: Still not ringing a bell...
Miranda: Well, I suggest you study up on him then. I have put together a DVD for you to take a look at....
Green: More DVD's? come on Miranda... Didn't you hear who I have a date with? Keira Knightley.... KEIRA FREAKING KNIGHTLEY!!!
Miranda: I heard. But you also have the chance to be one of the small few who have pinned Trevor Blackwell's shoulders to the mat in the last couple of years. If you are victorious here, your fame will surely skyrocket!
Green: Skyrocket?
Miranda: Yeah... you know... Your stock in the APW will rise....
Green: My stock will rise? What the hell have you been smoking?
Miranda: Money Braden. If you win this people will buy more of your merchandise and you'll be even more rich than eer.
Green: Well, why didn't you just say that?
Miranda: ARGH!
Green: Look, I'll take the DVD, and I'll prepare for the match. I promise. But first I have a certain lady pirate friend waiting....
[Braden stands up and grabs the DVD. He leaves the office and Miranda picks up the phone and dials a number...]
Miranda: Hello, Miss Knightley? .... Yes this is Miranda Ashton, John Green's agent.... Mr. Green regretfully must cancel the date.... He has some more pressing matters to attend to.... Reschedule?! Um. No, that won't be necessary.... Thank you.... Goodbye....
[Miranda hangs up the phone and a small smile crosses her face. She leans back in her chair obviously proud of what she has just accomplished.]
Miranda: Bitch.
[Fade out.]
Miranda: What the hell was that about?!
Green: What?
Miranda: That little post match attack on Logan on that indy fed! The Head Splitter onto the belt, Green?!
Green: Look, I was just trying to help him up and I slipped.
Miranda: You slipped?! You're lucky Gregory hasn't suspended you, and all you got was that small fine! I don't care if he did attack you.
Green: Fine? ME?! You should fine the ring attendants! That mat was so sweaty my legs slipped right out from under me when I was helping him up...
Miranda: Then how do you explain kicking him in the gut while pretending to shake his hand?
Green: Well, that's just funny.
Miranda: What am I going to do with you?
Green: Look babe, I know you didn't call me here to brow beat me. You usually do that over the phone, and in e-mails, and through faxes, and ....
Miranda: JOHN!
Green: Wow, you really bitch a lot!
Miranda: JOHN!!!!!
Green: My point is that I am a very busy man. I am already late for a date with Keira Knightley.... So if we could get on with it...
Miranda: You're right! This Monday night you will be heading to Barre, Vermont. The APW will be holding some kind of Monday Night Overdrive special where a rumble will take place to see who the #1 contnder for your title is and you are scheduled to compete in some kind of Champion vs Champion Exhibition.
Green: Oh... SWEET! Who am I facing again?
Miranda: You will be taking on APW Xtremem Champion Trevor Blackwell...
Green: Who?
Miranda: Trevor Blackwell...
Green: Who?!
Miranda: Trevor... The one of the only undefeated people in APW!!
Green: WHO? WHO? WHO?!
Miranda: Don't you pay any attention to the rest of the company?
Green: Not really, no....
Miranda: The man has one of the most impressive streaks I have ever seen. He has defeated nearly every top superstar and as Xtreme Champion, he has come close to taking the World Championship.
Green: Still not ringing a bell...
Miranda: Well, I suggest you study up on him then. I have put together a DVD for you to take a look at....
Green: More DVD's? come on Miranda... Didn't you hear who I have a date with? Keira Knightley.... KEIRA FREAKING KNIGHTLEY!!!
Miranda: I heard. But you also have the chance to be one of the small few who have pinned Trevor Blackwell's shoulders to the mat in the last couple of years. If you are victorious here, your fame will surely skyrocket!
Green: Skyrocket?
Miranda: Yeah... you know... Your stock in the APW will rise....
Green: My stock will rise? What the hell have you been smoking?
Miranda: Money Braden. If you win this people will buy more of your merchandise and you'll be even more rich than eer.
Green: Well, why didn't you just say that?
Miranda: ARGH!
Green: Look, I'll take the DVD, and I'll prepare for the match. I promise. But first I have a certain lady pirate friend waiting....
[Braden stands up and grabs the DVD. He leaves the office and Miranda picks up the phone and dials a number...]
Miranda: Hello, Miss Knightley? .... Yes this is Miranda Ashton, John Green's agent.... Mr. Green regretfully must cancel the date.... He has some more pressing matters to attend to.... Reschedule?! Um. No, that won't be necessary.... Thank you.... Goodbye....
[Miranda hangs up the phone and a small smile crosses her face. She leans back in her chair obviously proud of what she has just accomplished.]
Miranda: Bitch.
[Fade out.]
