Angry birds on the pillars

[Lord Raab]

Angry birds on the pillars. Manchester, England. Saturday 5th January.

This week for Stefan he had high hopes on himself as not only he got his first win for the first time, since the Shockwave PPV back in August but, he got rid of Yarmouth as well since no one has heard from him, after the Christmas Chaos PPV. Stefan and Elton had got things all set up for the targets that, he had placed on the wood along, on some breakable pillars that the green pigs were on the pillars, with some on the wood as well. He had eight green pig balls that he had to knock down using a slingshot with red, white, yellow and black bird balls.

They were at Manchester City's football ground, placing the equipment that they had. They were just going to have some fun today as Elton has come, up with a brilliant idea of having the green pigs faces covered with, something completely different to how they are right now.

Elton: "Hey Stefan. What about if we plant these pigs with faces of TJ's, Keaton Saint's and President Jeff's face on them? I even printed their faces, out from the internet."

Stefan smiled as even he didn't think of doing that to make things that extra special as he laughs at the perfect idea to piss the three people that Stefan hated the most off well in his case more TJ and Jeff as he didn't really know that much about Keaton Saint but he was in the match so he had to involve Saint. Stefan didn't really want to do this tag match because he hates tag team wrestling but he had to deal with it for now as he laughed at the pictures that Elton had picked for TJ, Saint and Jeff.

Stefan Raab: "Holy shit Elton. I didn't even think of doing that. That's a brilliant idea. Place those piece of shit faces, on the green pigs and it will make me want, to aim at them even more."

So both Stefan and Elton got up the ladder, and used super glue to place the faces of TJ, Keaton Saint and President Jeff on each of the birds, although he wanted more faces of Jeff on the birds, than of TJ and Saint because he wanted Jeff in the ring, more than with the other two guys. They finished sticking the faces, on the pigs in five minutes as both of them, got down from the ladder and they went, straight over to the massive slingshot, that they also created for themselves to use on the pigs, by using the angry birds balls.

Elton: "I think I should leave you on your own for today, as you seem to be doing, really good with wrestling lately defeating Slade Craven in a submission hold."

Stefan Raab: "That's what I been working on, all of November dude on my submission holds, at the wrestling camp I told you about. Alright I see you tomorrow at the arena."

So Elton left him alone today as he didn't really want to distract Stefan any more as he had done quite a bit of studying on his opponents even though he already knew about TJ from when they wrestled both as a team and against each other in tag matches back on Meltdown. This was completely different as TJ was in a team with Keaton Saint called The Three Pillars which also involved Sally Talfourd but she wasn't in the match as Stefan begins to speak about the match up he's got now.

"The half of the three pillars that I got to face in a tag match this week? I got to say I fucking hate tag matches, after being in a team with Yarmouth completely, failed mainly because he was too upset about his girlfriend losing the baby, and dumping him costing me, and him to win the tag titles over Noble Hart. Why am I even involved in this tag match? Oh because President ass hole seems to think, that me and Slade should see more, of each other to team up to face The Soul Of Crap TJ, and Keaton Saint. Jeff you know that I don't kiss ass, to anyone especially not to you. I am sick of seeing Slade Craven, all the time and it seems to be like this, for the last few weeks, and now I got to see him yet again?"

"Why the fuck you are doing this Jeff most of all, why the fuck you put me in a tag match? People say I should blame Reginald Schmidt for booking my matches lately, but actually I don't because he follows, what President Jeff says to do. I am sick of this crap already, and I just want a match one on one with someone, other than Slade Craven and not in tag matches either."

That was something that really pissed Stefan off as he picked up a white bird ball, and he aimed it at the first pillar that was standing right close to the edge, and he lets go of the slingshot and sees the ball hitting, and breaking the pillar with two of the pigs falling down, which were both Keaton Saint's faces that fell off the wood as well, as on the pillar.

"Oh looks like I will have to talk about Keaton Saint since this bird hit your face first. Fine I will seeing how irrelevant you are. To me you are just a wrestler that is just there, that hasn't achieved anything since you came into APW. Sure you have had a few title shots but guess what? "

"Like everyone else in APW you got handed those title shots and that's the problem, I have with President Jeff. I never been handed a title shot since I came into, the company because I work hard at what I do in the ring, and it's beyond a fucking joke that someone like, you gets a free way ticket to title shots. Oh right yes we happen to be, in England these next few weeks, and I do remember the things you, said about me a while ago about how insignificant I was, until I entered in APW last year. I was already famous before, the Eurovision Song Contest you stupid fuck. I sold records and made, TV viewers raise in Germany but, of course that's something you Brits, don't know anything about since you lot, are only into American and British related TV shows and music. Shows how useless you are with things like that."

"Now I am much more than a entertainer. I am a full time wrestler that trains day in, and day out for this wrestling business, something none of you two pillocks realize at all. Hell the only wins you got recently, in wrestling Keaton was the match against Slade Craven. How I shouldn't even bother with you, because you are way out of my league, for me to wrestle against since you are a nobody, and a has bin being a complete joke that can't win one title, with the amount of chances you have had. People should just give up on you now because, your just a piece garbage that needs to be taken out for good since you are a waste of space."

"I can't wait to see your ass get defeated in front, of your home crowd especially by Slade Craven, who I have heard has changed a lot, since you last faced him in a match and I suggest you watch out for him because, he wants to beat you up so badly and what a better way to do it, in front of the British crowd hey?"

There was someone however that Stefan wanted to face and that is The Soul Of Philly TJ. It was the only reason why Stefan was happy, because he had always wanted to face him, ever since he got called out by TJ and there, was a lot of history between the two when they faced against each other on Meltdown, also they teamed up once as well.

He was aiming the slingshot at the TJ pig faces, with the red bird and he knocked two of the TJ's face down along with one, of President Jeff as well with nearly the whole, wood falling down on the football pitch that he, was standing on as it was now raining pretty hard, with Stefan not giving a dam about the weather standing in the rain.

"Ah now I can talk a lot about this guy, because we have had a lot of history together haven't we Soul of Shiite? From the days of us being on Meltdown, teaming up and against each other in tag matches, but that's the only time we have, faced each other and yet you keep, on claiming that you can beat me? What a lot of horse shit since you always, seem to forget one thing and that is the fact, that we have never ever had a singles match yet, so how do you know that you are better than me?"

"Yeah thought so because you are not, and you are only saying that because you got, the stupid Tap Out title around your waist, which we all know that you didn't deserve a third shot, at in the first place nor will I ever, congratulate your ass on winning the title. All you have been doing ever since you got drafted on, Asylum is getting on Julius Farquhar's dick, to defend his title against you three times. You are such a selfish man, that cares about having title shots more than, actually wrestling for the belt. I never once complained about not having, a title shot and do you know why? Because I don't give a flying fuck about winning titles, especially when I want to face President Ignorance badly, in a match at Rasslemania and it's only a matter of time, that he will respond to my challenge I put out a while ago."

"I will never respect you because you kept on asking Reginald, for a Tap Out title shot all the time, not giving others a chance to go for it. Hell you praise your Philly town too much, when it's a complete shit hole to live in not to mention how disgusting, those cheese steaks are as well. I nearly vomited cos they tasted, so horrible and I will never, buy one from Philly ever again."

He now used a yellow bird ball, that he hadn't used yet to aim at the TJ and Keaton Saint, pigs along with President Jeff ones as well and he missed completely with the first bird, but then the second yellow one he had. He broke another pillar taking most of the pigs down,until there was one more left of President Jeff but, he was just having fun since a lot, of people were talking about angry birds game recently that was, so popular around the world on people playing the game, on their phones and online and even Stefan himself had played the game as well.

"This is just a fucking joke about this three pillars crap I should say since, recently I heard that Chris Strike left APW because he couldn't hack, it after losing the Suicidal title. I told you all from day one that he was an overrated wrestler, and how right I was wasn't I seeing, how quickly he left? It explains everything that he only came, into APW to win a title and that was it. What a weak fucking man that guy was honestly."

"Then I am hearing about Sally Talfourd retiring as well, so this Pillocks team is falling apart much quicker, than me and Yarmouth lasted as a team. It was a joke to begin with, that you three thought that you could make things better for Asylum, which ended up being complete bullshit."

"Just as bad as the claims TJ made about me, on how he can defeat me and how I am fat when actually, you weigh a lot more than me, and the amount of steroids you seem to be taking as well. You should be drug tested for APW, since I pretty much doubt you worked you're, body up to be a strong guy that, you think you are by being in the gym everyday. I am not scared of you at all. In fact you are a weak, monster that can't win titles until it was your third, and last chance for it and by god I hope that, D Williams beats you for it since I heard he's the number one contender for it, even though yet again he gets handed another shot at it."

"I don't know a lot about Keaton Saint because I never met the guy, nor do I even know him but he, needs to know that I am more than, an entertainer now since I am a wrestler full time, and you Brits are just too much, like the Americans liking and doing the same fucking shit as them now. British people need to start to be more different, and stop acting like they are Americans when they are not."

Stefan picked up a black bird ball up and puts it in the slingshot, before he lets go of the slingshot hitting the last green President Jeff pig, and he was done with knocking everything down. He goes near to the pillar, that was knocked down earlier and continues to speak.

"This is how the match is going to end regardless, if me and Slade get along or not which doesn't really matter, considering we won't team up again, with the pillars falling down like flies seeing how, much experience that both me and Craven have, being in tag teams that we were in the past with Shadow and Yarmouth."

"Now we prefer to continue our ways as singles wrestlers, because we don't need to kiss ass to win matches, with our stupid partners getting in the way of things. How I love people saying how I should give respect, to everyone in the wrestling business when they got to earn it from me first and guess what?"

"No one in APW has earned my respect."

"Me and Slade have to work together just for one night, to knock the hell out of you both, and for me to show Jeff how serious I am, about facing him at Rasslemania, which I know is going to happen."

"Prepare to be Raabinated by The Killerplauze and The Main Man, because you both are going to get, knocked the fuck out tomorrow night, and President Jeff you're time of facing me is coming, a lot sooner than you think so watch my match, carefully to see how dangerous I can be in the ring."

Stefan then left the the football stadium to get back to his hotel room to get some sleep for the next day of wrestling against TJ and Keaton Saint.

TAGS; "The Soul Of Philly" TJ, Keaton Saint, Slade Craven and President Jeff
WORDS; 2569 without coding and 2777 with coding
OUTFIT; A black coat with jeans.
NOTES; Good luck TJ and Keaton.
CREDITS; FlawlessGFX Exclusive for STEFAN RAAB
LYRICS; “Cannibal” by Static-X