Post by Jake Titan on Apr 21, 2013 20:01:43 GMT -4
Jake Titan, the Original Gangsta of Action Packed Wrestling has had a lot of ups and downs while in APW. Mostly the people who got on Jake’s nerves the most were Tommy Knoxville, Christian Kane, Kaylyn James Evans, Foul Play and now Niobe “Nightmare” Martin. But this didn’t bother Jake in the very least, the Tag Team titles were eventually going to end up on his and Leon Roberts’ waists. It’ll take time only because they didn’t want extra luggage holding them back. It’s the only reason why Jake Titan and Leon Roberts, the Natural Born Killaz haven’t challenged for the Tag Team Titles is they have bigger fish to fry.
Today we find Jake Titan by himself. Things have come at him rather hard as of late, first he lost at Rasslemania IX then Jake and Leon fought to a draw with Foul Play. Foul Play, what are we doing, playing a game of kickball? Now we have a wanna be thug group of Michael Lively, Reaver and Jason Kash collectively known as Foul Play thinking they’re top dog? Well that doesn’t sit well with the real tag team top dogs known better as Natural Born Killaz.
This will bring us to why we’re with Jake Titan right now, who is on a walk through downtown Toronto. “Ya know when I first came to APW it was a rough road but me ‘n’ Leon Roberts quickly reached a sweet winning streak. Then came Rasslemania and I let all dat success get to ma head. It cost us at Rasslemania nine and it cost us again last week on Meltdown as dat chicken shit bitch Reaver ‘n’ I got count out. Dat douddn’t sit a’ight wit’ me, ya’ feel me?”
“Why are you always asking if I feel you? I don’t know what means!” Liberty Roberts, who has apparently been literally riding Jake’s back popped her head up. Now we see why Jake’s arms weren’t visible, they were pocked so she could ride him like a horse.
“I ain’t askin’ you to feel me, do I look like someone who’ll be meetin’ Chris Hanson soon?” Now Jake’s voice was not only strained by having to carry a ten year old in a piggy back ride, but namely because deep down inside he saw her as Leon riding his back.
With no hair to grab on, Liberty took the liberty of grabbing a hold of Jake’s orbital bone around his eyes and pulled back hard. “Whoa… not only do I think so deep down, but what’s that?” She turned his head.
“Ah fuck that hurt!” Jake screamed and then looked over to where Liberty was pointing him. ‘Friday Night Wicked.’ A sign below said ‘Torture Garden tonight!’
“We should check that place! It looks fun!” She pointed to a woman dressed in a latex suit, physically resembling Kasumi Goto of Mass Effect. Jake began to chuckle lowly noticing a sign that said ‘Featuring Yasura of Cirque du Soleil.’
“Come on Jakie! Take me in!” She pulled back once more on his head.
“NO!” He screamed and began to buck wildly like a horse, throwing his legs back. Like a rodeo bull, Jake began to wildly buck and try throwing Liberty off her back.
Several people walk buy and noticing that Jake is dressed strangely with tight black leather pants, with what could possibly a dwarf on his back riding him in front of a unique club, people just laugh. A few of them started tossing a couple of coins, a dollar or two here or there thinking it’s a joke or a show or even an advertisement for the club they’re in front of. Even the police officers walk by laughing at it. Eventually Liberty was thrown off and Jake stood up, cracked his neck and angry enough to start drooling like an animal.
Although angry at Leon’s kid, Jake helped her back up. “Okay, now I’m really pissed off! Why am I your baby sitter?! Why your brothers and sister are always out with your dad when he does whatever the Hell he does. I don’t know if he’s teaching them how to hunt or shoving moth balls up homeless guys asses or teaching them how to base jump off of silos, I don’t know. My point is when did I become your personal baby sitter?”
Babysitting, was that Jake’s job now? Has he gone from being a Blood in New York City to Professional Wrestler and odd job man to half-assed babysitter? Apparently that is the case.
Curious as to what was inside; Liberty attempted to open the door. However, Jake already KNEW what was inside and was on an interception course. Like “Mean Joe” Greene, our anti-hero Jake Titan tackled Liberty, lifted her over his shoulder like a damsel and ran down the street. Even though she wasn’t screaming as she was too caught up in trying to figure out what was happening, it took a few minutes before realizing that Jake grabbed her and was trying to break Jesse Owens’ speed record.
Having gotten several blocks away and ripping the sides of his tight leather pants, Jake hunched over and began panting like a dog. It’s been a while since he had to run like that, run as if he’s running from the police. Running from the police, that was a funny thought and it made Jake laugh. Watching Jake pant like a dog then laugh made Liberty back away, scared, believing Jake was losing touch with reality.
“Hey… you’re still okay in there?” Her little hand waved across his face.
His bald head caught the light and glistened in the sunlight. “Yeah I’m a’ight. Just remembering the good times, I miss the good times.”
“What good times?” What could Jake consider the good times?
“Oh you know, I’m sure you’ve seen gangsta movies. Drug running, shit stomping, whore boning, balloons filled with illegal wine shoved up my ass, dog fighting, monkey knife fights, you know. The good shit that any manly man would be able to enjoy. A life of excess and luxury with the SLIGHT possibility of death at any given time, oh I miss those days.” He was lost in memories of days gone by.
“That doesn’t sound very good.” She said as Jake put Liberty down. The smell and feeling of Jakes sweat was nasty, Liberty never wanted a bath more in her entire life.
APW’s Original Gangsta shrugged his shoulders. Those were good memories for him, even though to most normal people would think otherwise about a life of depravity. “It’s my life. You’re all happy up here in relatively safe Canada; I prefer my dangerous ghettos in New York City way more. Scenery changes, people go from desperate to dumb to desperate again on a daily basis. How is that NOT entertainment? I mean just look at APW’s tag team division.
“Each man and woman involved in that tag team title scene is climbing over one another trying to get what me and you dad are in the best position to get. I feel bad for Buckson Gooch and all, but I totally called him getting kicked to the side. Now if Buckson Gooch is smart, he’ll have my back with your dad’s and will check out my match out this week. “ Jake saw Liberty point behind him.
“Mommy!” Liberty pushed Jake hard enough that he screamed and rolled into a puddle on the street. With a jump of effort, Liberty jumped into her mom’s arms and hugged Demonica.
On the other hand Jake looked up and spat out a used beer can; that he somehow fished out with his mouth. His face is covered in mud and his once bright white teeth are now… still white. Somehow his gums weren’t bleeding or covered in mud. As Jake got up, he was angry that with being pushed aside but happy to see Leon’s wife Demonica, Jake stood up and smiled.
“Thank you for watching Liberty Jake, I didn’t expect to see you this far downtown… with her. Why are you this far downtown and what are you doing covered in sweat and mud?” Monica asked nicely
“Well that’s easy to explain. I was in middle of cutting my promo." He stopped, broke the fourth wall looking directly at the camera man then back to Monica and Liberty. “While I was watching Liberty, she decided to ride hard and fast. She was just pulling and hitting me hard, as your husband does too mind you. Then she noticed Friday Night Wicked and wanted to get into that, I’m not sure if she noticed that Torture Garden is there tonight or not, any answer wouldn’t surprise me. I couldn’t take it anymore so I started bucking wildly before I took her down. Just as she was about to take it in a little too far, I stole her and whisked her off her feet and ran down the street like I was running from the police, again. Then just as you somehow caught up with us, we were face to face recalling memories past and I was getting all hot and wet from forbidden passion before you showed up and Liberty got me all wet and hot.” Liberty and Monica took a few steps away from Jake.
“I need an adult! I need an adult!” Liberty cried out and pointed at Jake.
Both her mother and father’s tag team partner looked down at Liberty and shouted. “I am an adult!”
Then Monica slapped Jake across both cheeks. “Although I’m being a little naïve on you being honest and that you weren’t trying to be a PERVERT.” She glared at Jake and be backed away some. “I do believe your honesty.”
Then Monica leaned into Liberty’s ear. “He wasn’t trying to touch you, was he sweetie?”
Everyone on the street could hear Jake’s sigh of relief as Liberty shook her head. “Normally I’d get in my car and run over you over, back up, and peel out on your face because you were trying to enter a BDSM club with my daughter. But since you’re my husband’s tag team partner I’ll give you a chance to explain yourself.’
“Oh that, I was passing by it saying what I was saying but a woman dressed as a video game character I play wanted to go in and see what it was like so I had to tackle her like “Mean Joe” Greene and get her as far away from Friday Night Wicked as fast as I can. It’s not like I wanted to reenact a scene from Pulp Fiction or Sin City with a ten year old child or anything. I mean I want to meet Chris Hanson and all but I don’t want to meet him that badly.” It was troublesome trying to control children and Jake knew that rather well.
Demonica didn’t believe him but Liberty was actually defending him his stance. Although she was unsure if Jake is bribing her ten year old daughter into siding with him or not, Demonica would have to assume that they were telling her the truth. “So why are you still here? Shouldn’t be getting ready for your match with Niobe Martin?”
“Yes as a matter of fact. I was talking about that but SHE interrupted me.” Jake glared at Liberty who had been acting nonchalant. “I have a few people I want to bitch about. First off, I want to bitch about those little squirrel dicked fuck sticks named Reaver and Jason Kash. You bitches didn’t do dick to me and Leon, all your tough talk didn’t get you anywhere. Now I have to go against a cunt and a bitch, Tommy Knoxville and Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin respectively. How much do you girls want to bet within three weeks’ time that they’ll both be a part of Foul Play?”
Both of the Roberts women nodded at Jake. Part of McLovin’ was getting quote “all John Cena” about something that could happen. But at the same time, the years of crack and cocaine likely just lead up to Jake Titan finally losing all touch with sanity.
“So Johnny Cash-“
“Jason Kash.” Interrupted Demonica.
Really, that was worth interrupting Jake’s train of thought? She had to correct McLovin’ of what his most likely definite new challenge? “Whatever! Jason Kash or Johnny Cash or whatever his name is, it doesn’t matter to me. Foul Play is just that, a bunch of guys who think they’re foul or fowl, I don’t why they think they’re birds. Maybe their chicken lovers or something, I should introduce them to those farmers who live in Oklahoma or West Virginia who live alone fifty miles away from civilization.”
“Mom, what does that?” The hints at zoophilia flew over Liberty’s head.
Like a trooper, Demonica let it roll of her shoulders and stroked her daughter’s hair. “Don’t worry about it honey, I’ll talk to you about it later.”
“Good ‘cause your interrupting me. You wouldn’t do that to Leon and dad would you?” Jake looked at Monica and Liberty, both of whom just shook their heads no. “Good have the same respect for me, please. Like I was saying about Johnny Cash I mean Jason Kash, so what if you were in a gang. You ain’t shit, I might be a fuckin’ hood rat outta Harlem but I’ve been shot… in my ass.”
Liberty and Monica started to laugh with a few passersby. Keeping calm because of his female company, The Original Gangsta stuck his middle finger up at the guy as he walked away laughing. “I ain’t worried at that punk ass bitch and I ain’t worried about Jason Kash’s punk ass either. When the time comes, the Natural Born Killaz are gonna whop his ass and his girlfriend, Reaver, ass too. Foul Play ain’t shit just like Warren Peace. Since me and Leon beat his ass a few weeks back, doesn’t that mean we should have a chance at the North American Championship?”
“I don’t see why not. You two are two of the hardest workers in APW. I mean how long can Sienna deny you from the Tag Team Championships or even the North American Championship?” added good ol’ Demonica.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m saying. Me and Leon have already beat former North American Champions and we even beat some of the higher names in APW. Maybe she don’t like Canadians, MAYBE she ain’t liking the idea of a real black man being a champion with a Canadian? Maybe we’re working for a racist bitch. I don’t know. Well that covers Fowl Play, maybe I should talk about that punk bitch Johnny Knoxville-“
“I love Johnny Knoxville! He’s so funny! Remember when he ran into that stop sign at full speed or the set fell on him?” Just like Jake, Liberty thought of the wrong man.
“Ah guys, I think you mean Tommy Knoxville.” Demonica interjected.
Who cares? Thought Jake Titan, obviously he didn’t. “Whatever, that jackass will be wishing he was shoving cars up his ass, gluing pubic hair to his face or pissing in the wind by the time I’m done with him. I saw what he said last time and that bitch ain’t going to give me what I’m fucking owed. His punk ass not only got the shit beat out of him by our North American Champion, The Guv’nor, but he also couldn’t win the Tag Team Titles and in the end jumped on that poor redneck boy Buckson Gooch.
“Speaking of Gooch, I said it once and I’ll say it again: He got punked out because he didn’t listen to me. I didn’t want him to get hurt or nuthin’. He’s a good guy, I saw his hot wife. If I wasn’t for the fact he didn’t convince Tommy to give us a rematch from Rasslemania and I was a much more generous man, I’d offer him an invite to the Natural Born Killaz but I’m not that nice. Don’t forget, I ain’t never had shit given to me either.
“So anyways this week I gotta face Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin. Could you have a better porno name? I don’t think so ladies! There’s no doubt that she’s a co-“
“Ah Jake, I know you’re on fire. But do you have to be so graphic?” Demonica interrupted Jake and pointed down towards her company. Slowly, Jakes eyes moved from Demonica’s breasts to Liberty’s face.
Right… Liberty was there and Jake didn’t want to get into a fight with Monica or is it Demonica now? Either way he didn’t want to fight both her parents and his land lord because Jake had a problem with controlling his mouth. “Niobe is likely a nightmare in the sack because she cannot work a stick shift if her life depended on it. The only reason I’m saying this I’ve heard her co… mouth and saw her in the ring. Her shit ain’t shit, I’m not sure if it was the drugs kicking in because God knows how many narcotics and experimental medical drugs I do speaking but it’s like she lives in a world of fantasy where our little Niobe is Queen Shit.”
Suddenly, for no reason at all, Jake’s leg flew out sideways and he snorted like a horse. Frightened that he may start bucking and whining like a horse again, Liberty backed up and hid behind her mother. “Are you feeling okay Jake?”
“Of course, I feel like a horse in the fields of mid-west. Not only will I have a chance to beat the shit out Niobe Martin because she’s a bitch that wondered a little too far off base and ended up in a man’s world but I’ll be able to do it in front of her girlfriend or whoever wears the pants in that relationship, too! But if you excuse me, I have a hot date!” Jake jumped up and clicked his heels together.
The Roberts women feel a little out of place and leave slowly. As they leave a glove feel out of Monica’s purse, notice it Jake picked it up and sniffed. His body shuddered at the fragrance of Monica’s body and he stuff the glove down into one of his pant pockets as walked into the sun.
Today we find Jake Titan by himself. Things have come at him rather hard as of late, first he lost at Rasslemania IX then Jake and Leon fought to a draw with Foul Play. Foul Play, what are we doing, playing a game of kickball? Now we have a wanna be thug group of Michael Lively, Reaver and Jason Kash collectively known as Foul Play thinking they’re top dog? Well that doesn’t sit well with the real tag team top dogs known better as Natural Born Killaz.
This will bring us to why we’re with Jake Titan right now, who is on a walk through downtown Toronto. “Ya know when I first came to APW it was a rough road but me ‘n’ Leon Roberts quickly reached a sweet winning streak. Then came Rasslemania and I let all dat success get to ma head. It cost us at Rasslemania nine and it cost us again last week on Meltdown as dat chicken shit bitch Reaver ‘n’ I got count out. Dat douddn’t sit a’ight wit’ me, ya’ feel me?”
“Why are you always asking if I feel you? I don’t know what means!” Liberty Roberts, who has apparently been literally riding Jake’s back popped her head up. Now we see why Jake’s arms weren’t visible, they were pocked so she could ride him like a horse.
“I ain’t askin’ you to feel me, do I look like someone who’ll be meetin’ Chris Hanson soon?” Now Jake’s voice was not only strained by having to carry a ten year old in a piggy back ride, but namely because deep down inside he saw her as Leon riding his back.
With no hair to grab on, Liberty took the liberty of grabbing a hold of Jake’s orbital bone around his eyes and pulled back hard. “Whoa… not only do I think so deep down, but what’s that?” She turned his head.
“Ah fuck that hurt!” Jake screamed and then looked over to where Liberty was pointing him. ‘Friday Night Wicked.’ A sign below said ‘Torture Garden tonight!’
“We should check that place! It looks fun!” She pointed to a woman dressed in a latex suit, physically resembling Kasumi Goto of Mass Effect. Jake began to chuckle lowly noticing a sign that said ‘Featuring Yasura of Cirque du Soleil.’
“Come on Jakie! Take me in!” She pulled back once more on his head.
“NO!” He screamed and began to buck wildly like a horse, throwing his legs back. Like a rodeo bull, Jake began to wildly buck and try throwing Liberty off her back.
Several people walk buy and noticing that Jake is dressed strangely with tight black leather pants, with what could possibly a dwarf on his back riding him in front of a unique club, people just laugh. A few of them started tossing a couple of coins, a dollar or two here or there thinking it’s a joke or a show or even an advertisement for the club they’re in front of. Even the police officers walk by laughing at it. Eventually Liberty was thrown off and Jake stood up, cracked his neck and angry enough to start drooling like an animal.
Although angry at Leon’s kid, Jake helped her back up. “Okay, now I’m really pissed off! Why am I your baby sitter?! Why your brothers and sister are always out with your dad when he does whatever the Hell he does. I don’t know if he’s teaching them how to hunt or shoving moth balls up homeless guys asses or teaching them how to base jump off of silos, I don’t know. My point is when did I become your personal baby sitter?”
Babysitting, was that Jake’s job now? Has he gone from being a Blood in New York City to Professional Wrestler and odd job man to half-assed babysitter? Apparently that is the case.
Curious as to what was inside; Liberty attempted to open the door. However, Jake already KNEW what was inside and was on an interception course. Like “Mean Joe” Greene, our anti-hero Jake Titan tackled Liberty, lifted her over his shoulder like a damsel and ran down the street. Even though she wasn’t screaming as she was too caught up in trying to figure out what was happening, it took a few minutes before realizing that Jake grabbed her and was trying to break Jesse Owens’ speed record.
Having gotten several blocks away and ripping the sides of his tight leather pants, Jake hunched over and began panting like a dog. It’s been a while since he had to run like that, run as if he’s running from the police. Running from the police, that was a funny thought and it made Jake laugh. Watching Jake pant like a dog then laugh made Liberty back away, scared, believing Jake was losing touch with reality.
“Hey… you’re still okay in there?” Her little hand waved across his face.
His bald head caught the light and glistened in the sunlight. “Yeah I’m a’ight. Just remembering the good times, I miss the good times.”
“What good times?” What could Jake consider the good times?
“Oh you know, I’m sure you’ve seen gangsta movies. Drug running, shit stomping, whore boning, balloons filled with illegal wine shoved up my ass, dog fighting, monkey knife fights, you know. The good shit that any manly man would be able to enjoy. A life of excess and luxury with the SLIGHT possibility of death at any given time, oh I miss those days.” He was lost in memories of days gone by.
“That doesn’t sound very good.” She said as Jake put Liberty down. The smell and feeling of Jakes sweat was nasty, Liberty never wanted a bath more in her entire life.
APW’s Original Gangsta shrugged his shoulders. Those were good memories for him, even though to most normal people would think otherwise about a life of depravity. “It’s my life. You’re all happy up here in relatively safe Canada; I prefer my dangerous ghettos in New York City way more. Scenery changes, people go from desperate to dumb to desperate again on a daily basis. How is that NOT entertainment? I mean just look at APW’s tag team division.
“Each man and woman involved in that tag team title scene is climbing over one another trying to get what me and you dad are in the best position to get. I feel bad for Buckson Gooch and all, but I totally called him getting kicked to the side. Now if Buckson Gooch is smart, he’ll have my back with your dad’s and will check out my match out this week. “ Jake saw Liberty point behind him.
“Mommy!” Liberty pushed Jake hard enough that he screamed and rolled into a puddle on the street. With a jump of effort, Liberty jumped into her mom’s arms and hugged Demonica.
On the other hand Jake looked up and spat out a used beer can; that he somehow fished out with his mouth. His face is covered in mud and his once bright white teeth are now… still white. Somehow his gums weren’t bleeding or covered in mud. As Jake got up, he was angry that with being pushed aside but happy to see Leon’s wife Demonica, Jake stood up and smiled.
“Thank you for watching Liberty Jake, I didn’t expect to see you this far downtown… with her. Why are you this far downtown and what are you doing covered in sweat and mud?” Monica asked nicely
“Well that’s easy to explain. I was in middle of cutting my promo." He stopped, broke the fourth wall looking directly at the camera man then back to Monica and Liberty. “While I was watching Liberty, she decided to ride hard and fast. She was just pulling and hitting me hard, as your husband does too mind you. Then she noticed Friday Night Wicked and wanted to get into that, I’m not sure if she noticed that Torture Garden is there tonight or not, any answer wouldn’t surprise me. I couldn’t take it anymore so I started bucking wildly before I took her down. Just as she was about to take it in a little too far, I stole her and whisked her off her feet and ran down the street like I was running from the police, again. Then just as you somehow caught up with us, we were face to face recalling memories past and I was getting all hot and wet from forbidden passion before you showed up and Liberty got me all wet and hot.” Liberty and Monica took a few steps away from Jake.
“I need an adult! I need an adult!” Liberty cried out and pointed at Jake.
Both her mother and father’s tag team partner looked down at Liberty and shouted. “I am an adult!”
Then Monica slapped Jake across both cheeks. “Although I’m being a little naïve on you being honest and that you weren’t trying to be a PERVERT.” She glared at Jake and be backed away some. “I do believe your honesty.”
Then Monica leaned into Liberty’s ear. “He wasn’t trying to touch you, was he sweetie?”
Everyone on the street could hear Jake’s sigh of relief as Liberty shook her head. “Normally I’d get in my car and run over you over, back up, and peel out on your face because you were trying to enter a BDSM club with my daughter. But since you’re my husband’s tag team partner I’ll give you a chance to explain yourself.’
“Oh that, I was passing by it saying what I was saying but a woman dressed as a video game character I play wanted to go in and see what it was like so I had to tackle her like “Mean Joe” Greene and get her as far away from Friday Night Wicked as fast as I can. It’s not like I wanted to reenact a scene from Pulp Fiction or Sin City with a ten year old child or anything. I mean I want to meet Chris Hanson and all but I don’t want to meet him that badly.” It was troublesome trying to control children and Jake knew that rather well.
Demonica didn’t believe him but Liberty was actually defending him his stance. Although she was unsure if Jake is bribing her ten year old daughter into siding with him or not, Demonica would have to assume that they were telling her the truth. “So why are you still here? Shouldn’t be getting ready for your match with Niobe Martin?”
“Yes as a matter of fact. I was talking about that but SHE interrupted me.” Jake glared at Liberty who had been acting nonchalant. “I have a few people I want to bitch about. First off, I want to bitch about those little squirrel dicked fuck sticks named Reaver and Jason Kash. You bitches didn’t do dick to me and Leon, all your tough talk didn’t get you anywhere. Now I have to go against a cunt and a bitch, Tommy Knoxville and Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin respectively. How much do you girls want to bet within three weeks’ time that they’ll both be a part of Foul Play?”
Both of the Roberts women nodded at Jake. Part of McLovin’ was getting quote “all John Cena” about something that could happen. But at the same time, the years of crack and cocaine likely just lead up to Jake Titan finally losing all touch with sanity.
“So Johnny Cash-“
“Jason Kash.” Interrupted Demonica.
Really, that was worth interrupting Jake’s train of thought? She had to correct McLovin’ of what his most likely definite new challenge? “Whatever! Jason Kash or Johnny Cash or whatever his name is, it doesn’t matter to me. Foul Play is just that, a bunch of guys who think they’re foul or fowl, I don’t why they think they’re birds. Maybe their chicken lovers or something, I should introduce them to those farmers who live in Oklahoma or West Virginia who live alone fifty miles away from civilization.”
“Mom, what does that?” The hints at zoophilia flew over Liberty’s head.
Like a trooper, Demonica let it roll of her shoulders and stroked her daughter’s hair. “Don’t worry about it honey, I’ll talk to you about it later.”
“Good ‘cause your interrupting me. You wouldn’t do that to Leon and dad would you?” Jake looked at Monica and Liberty, both of whom just shook their heads no. “Good have the same respect for me, please. Like I was saying about Johnny Cash I mean Jason Kash, so what if you were in a gang. You ain’t shit, I might be a fuckin’ hood rat outta Harlem but I’ve been shot… in my ass.”
Liberty and Monica started to laugh with a few passersby. Keeping calm because of his female company, The Original Gangsta stuck his middle finger up at the guy as he walked away laughing. “I ain’t worried at that punk ass bitch and I ain’t worried about Jason Kash’s punk ass either. When the time comes, the Natural Born Killaz are gonna whop his ass and his girlfriend, Reaver, ass too. Foul Play ain’t shit just like Warren Peace. Since me and Leon beat his ass a few weeks back, doesn’t that mean we should have a chance at the North American Championship?”
“I don’t see why not. You two are two of the hardest workers in APW. I mean how long can Sienna deny you from the Tag Team Championships or even the North American Championship?” added good ol’ Demonica.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m saying. Me and Leon have already beat former North American Champions and we even beat some of the higher names in APW. Maybe she don’t like Canadians, MAYBE she ain’t liking the idea of a real black man being a champion with a Canadian? Maybe we’re working for a racist bitch. I don’t know. Well that covers Fowl Play, maybe I should talk about that punk bitch Johnny Knoxville-“
“I love Johnny Knoxville! He’s so funny! Remember when he ran into that stop sign at full speed or the set fell on him?” Just like Jake, Liberty thought of the wrong man.
“Ah guys, I think you mean Tommy Knoxville.” Demonica interjected.
Who cares? Thought Jake Titan, obviously he didn’t. “Whatever, that jackass will be wishing he was shoving cars up his ass, gluing pubic hair to his face or pissing in the wind by the time I’m done with him. I saw what he said last time and that bitch ain’t going to give me what I’m fucking owed. His punk ass not only got the shit beat out of him by our North American Champion, The Guv’nor, but he also couldn’t win the Tag Team Titles and in the end jumped on that poor redneck boy Buckson Gooch.
“Speaking of Gooch, I said it once and I’ll say it again: He got punked out because he didn’t listen to me. I didn’t want him to get hurt or nuthin’. He’s a good guy, I saw his hot wife. If I wasn’t for the fact he didn’t convince Tommy to give us a rematch from Rasslemania and I was a much more generous man, I’d offer him an invite to the Natural Born Killaz but I’m not that nice. Don’t forget, I ain’t never had shit given to me either.
“So anyways this week I gotta face Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin. Could you have a better porno name? I don’t think so ladies! There’s no doubt that she’s a co-“
“Ah Jake, I know you’re on fire. But do you have to be so graphic?” Demonica interrupted Jake and pointed down towards her company. Slowly, Jakes eyes moved from Demonica’s breasts to Liberty’s face.
Right… Liberty was there and Jake didn’t want to get into a fight with Monica or is it Demonica now? Either way he didn’t want to fight both her parents and his land lord because Jake had a problem with controlling his mouth. “Niobe is likely a nightmare in the sack because she cannot work a stick shift if her life depended on it. The only reason I’m saying this I’ve heard her co… mouth and saw her in the ring. Her shit ain’t shit, I’m not sure if it was the drugs kicking in because God knows how many narcotics and experimental medical drugs I do speaking but it’s like she lives in a world of fantasy where our little Niobe is Queen Shit.”
Suddenly, for no reason at all, Jake’s leg flew out sideways and he snorted like a horse. Frightened that he may start bucking and whining like a horse again, Liberty backed up and hid behind her mother. “Are you feeling okay Jake?”
“Of course, I feel like a horse in the fields of mid-west. Not only will I have a chance to beat the shit out Niobe Martin because she’s a bitch that wondered a little too far off base and ended up in a man’s world but I’ll be able to do it in front of her girlfriend or whoever wears the pants in that relationship, too! But if you excuse me, I have a hot date!” Jake jumped up and clicked his heels together.
The Roberts women feel a little out of place and leave slowly. As they leave a glove feel out of Monica’s purse, notice it Jake picked it up and sniffed. His body shuddered at the fragrance of Monica’s body and he stuff the glove down into one of his pant pockets as walked into the sun.
