Post by Nathaniel Havok on Jun 5, 2013 20:41:46 GMT -4
[The scene opens up in an undisclosed studio. Nathaniel Havok sits center-stage, preparing to deliver his promo. Once the countdown starts, Nathaniel is ready to deliver a classic…]
Havok: Overdramatic... Uncalled for... A means of the Enforcer of Sorrow to get a little bit more of your attention...
All of these things, over the past week, I have been accused of. I've had management breathing down my neck over my "claims", and a boss that has decided to start talking to me once again, to try and continue to pull the wool over everyone's eyes! Let's completely ignore the fact that everything I said was the brutal truth! Let's sweep under the rug the fact that Nathaniel Havok told absolutely ZERO lies to the public! As a matter of fact, let’s just ignore it, and act like the Enforcer of Sorrow ever said it to begin with!
With that being said, let's focus on the fact that Nathaniel Havok has been a son of a bitch ever since the day he walked into Action Packed Wrestling. I mean, how much can you REALLY believe? When Nathaniel Havok speaks, at any given time, anything he says could be a lie! He's a truth stretcher who cannot be trusted, that will do or say anything he can just to get ahead in the business! A bastard in every sense of the word, THAT’S who Nathaniel Havok is. So why even give him the time of day? Why listen to him any at all?
Yeah, you're right. Nathaniel Havok IS all of those things. But when it comes to this business, when it comes to the RESPECT of this business, or lack thereof these days, Nathaniel Havok tells no lies! It wasn’t too long ago, right around the Mayhem pay per view, that I had decided that I had heard enough, that I had HAD enough, and that it was time for someone to do something about it! So while I joined the League to achieve common goals, I still have my own agenda. So what's next? Don't worry, I'll tell you!
...I'm far from done with exposure! I will continue to expose those who need exposing, until every last one of them either falls in line, or is gone from Action Packed Wrestling COMPLETELY!
Which brings us to this week, and two people who are as blind to the common goal as can be. Two people who exemplify EXACTLY what the League is looking to rid professional wrestling of! Amy Zing, and Biggs… Who and who? Yeah, EXACTLY!
[Nathaniel chuckles.]
Havok: Biggs… You want to talk gimmicks? Okay, fine! Let's talk gimmicks, SPACEMAN!
Of all the people in Action Packed Wrestling, YOU want to call the League out for gimmicks? A little man with a very big mouth, you are!
...see what I did there, Biggs? That Yoda talk was for you, Spaceballs!
Truth be told, Biggs... From what I see, talent has gotten you NOWHERE in this business! However, I do see how you got to where you are today. I see a pattern. A pattern similar to that of Jason Kash and Lester Only. Riddled with politics, backstabbing, cruel and unusual punishment! All of these things, you did to get to the level you're at today! You did nothing to sacrifice, nothing to prioritize, nothing but manipulate! Now, I know what you're thinking...
[Havok attempts his best Biggs impersonation.]
Havok: Cruel and unusual punishment? Havok, that's not true!
[Havok cuts his impersonation.]
Havok: Oh, but it is true! Because every time you step into that ring and take up a main event spot like you’ve done for the past few years, every time you grab a microphone and waste precious television time like you’ve done since you started in this business, the fans are forced to choke down yet another snooze fest, brought to them by the Spaceman himself! A man who promises he can deliver, but always falls short of expectations. Ask that pretty little wife of yours, she knows what I’m talking about!
Don't you get it, Biggs?
Last week, I talked about your stale ass run with CJ Gates, telling the world that it was nothing more than a boost for Level-One to politic his way back to the main event upon his return. Now, I'd like for one single person in this world to tell me that I was wrong! Come on, Biggs! Tell me, am I lying? Is there another good reason as to why you haven't been champion since? Is there another valid excuse that you can bring to the table, to justify your abrupt fall from the top? Because as quick as you went up, Biggs... You fell even faster!
Face it, you can call it whatever you want. But the truth is, the rest of the world will call it EXACTLY what it was...
...a stale ass title run that did not, and never would have gone anywhere!
Because while you might have at one time taken control of Overdrive, while you might have gained ground and made a name for yourself, you politicked your damn way to that title! You give Jeff back his company, and Jeff gives you a title run! You stroked the boss’s ego and laid down for him, and you cashed in by "earning" the gold... If that's even what you want to call it! That's how it went! And like it or not, Spaceballs... YOU FAILED! So give it up, and get the hell out of the way!
You can stand there and call Nathaniel Havok a gimmick all you want to. But nobody knows Nathaniel Havok, NOBODY! And what's this face paint you speak of? You must be toking on the Jason Kash stash, because he said the same damn thing, and I still have no clue what the two of you douche rockets are talking about! Get off the drugs, Biggs! They've killed WAY bigger men than you before, and we don't need another dead wrestler statistic!
You saw what Gooch and I did last week, Biggs! I know you were watching, and I hope you were taking notes! Because Biggs, my friend, what Gooch and I did in that ring... THAT'S how you create a classic! We went out there, and we WRESTLED! We didn't play up to "good guys and bad guys", we didn't pander to the crowd and look for their approval or displeasure! We WRESTLED, something that nobody in this company seems to give a shit about, or knows how to do! I mean Biggs, do you even know what professional wrestling is, let alone how to do it?
If you ask me, you're just looking to name drop a bit, to try and regain a little bit of notoriety... Something that you lost a long, LONG time ago... If you ever even had any at all!
Initially, you weren't even a thought in my mind, Spaceballs. All you were, was another mid-card wrestler who politicked his way to a small title run and then failed miserably. Hell, since then, Evan Envi has made people forget your run as Overdrive Champion! Now, it's a title that Envi himself made famous! All you did, was make Evan's job a little harder... Because after Biggs has the title, the title automatically means nothing! Prove me wrong, if you think I'm just talking out of my ass, you little politician!
And who could ever forget about Amy Zing? You know, the woman that got famous for taking her clothes off, and nothing more! The one that keeps getting push after push from management, but isn't an in-ring competitor by ANY stretch of the imagination, so she flops just as much as the Miami Heat! Biggs, she's just as delusional as you are! Better call that wife of yours and let her know that Amy Zing could be your next fling.
...Heh, I'm a poet and didn't know it.
Amy, why are you even talking? Because from what I can see, you make more of your money with your mouth shut, and your clothes off! Because every time you step into that ring, you make an even bigger joke of yourself. I guess it's a good God damn thing that you're pretty hot. But that's the reason you've been getting all of these pushes, isn't it? All because guys will tune in hoping for a nip-slip, or some other sort of wardrobe malfunction, Jeff and his associates decide to give you chance after chance, when all you do is fail!
Amy, you're not a wrestler, you're not an athlete, and you’re not even a has-been. Cold hard fact, Amy... You're a never-will-be.
So go ahead, Amy. Hold on to all of your delusions, and keep tight to your words that will never come true! You're a big reason as to why the League got together in the first place! Professional wrestling isn't professional wrestling anymore, thanks to people like you! People who cash in on some sort of fame, or a particular type of look, just to get a few bucks in their pockets, and to be seen on TV every week! You're a waste of valuable roster space. And furthermore, in my opinion, you're a damn waste of oxygen!
It’s women like you, who are the reason we have this “I am woman” movement today! Women who should have learned to stay in the kitchen and keep their mouths shut, but took the Mary Tyler Moore show to heart, and thought that they could make something of themselves. But every time a man comes along and shows them up, they cry “sexist”, and some poor guy gets screwed over because of it! Women like you, YOU SICKEN ME!
Don’t try to blame it on my “mommy issues”, because the fact is that I could care less! This is real life, reality, THE TRUTH! You deserve NOTHING you’ve gotten in this business! And before you ever stepped foot into a wrestling ring, I’m pretty God damn sure that you knew NOTHING about this business! To you, this business is just a means to make a few quick dollars. Before you know it, Amy Zing will be cashing out, and once again taking her clothes off in front of a camera. Why? Because eventually, even the horny teenagers are going to get sick and tired of your botching ass!
Get the hell out of this business, Amy! Get the hell out, and don’t ever look back! You don’t belong here, nor have you ever! It’s time for someone to put an end to this travesty! Time for the League to do what we promise to do! Amy Zing, you’re nothing but a target! A spare that sickens the League down to our very core! And if anyone in the League has no problem putting a bitch in her place, it’s Nathaniel friggin’ Havok! I’m just plain tired of you, Amy. And trust me, I’m going to take a great deal of pride and pleasure, in beating you to a bloody pulp!
Biggs, Zinger, this common goal has the two of you written ALL over it! The two of you could never measure up to the standards that the League holds! We’re a group of the ELITE, not a group of the MARKETABLE! And Thursday night, Delikado and myself, are going to prove it without even breaking a sweat!
Havok has spoken…
The League is saving the world.
But the League can’t save space, Spaceballs.
And a wrestling ring is no space for you, Zinger.
Oh yeah, and by the way. Biggs...
It's the ENFORCER OF SORROW
It's also THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL!
...but you'll know that Thursday night, after I beat it into your head.
[Nathaniel smirks into the camera as the scene fades to black.]
