Post by biggs on Jul 31, 2013 15:41:25 GMT -4
A headache.
A big, stinkin’ headache.
If there was one way for me to describe the past couple of weeks, that is exactly how I would put it.
There’s the fact that my head is still buzzing from the attack by Michael Jennings two Overdrives ago, but unsurprisingly, it’s the least of my worries as I sit across the table from my good friend Alice. Or perhaps it’s just my friend Alice. Or considering the way she’s currently looking at me, perhaps even my former friend Alice.
Two weeks ago, I made the mistake of telling her that I loved her, but then back-pedaled, saying that I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Considering I had only been divorced from Ellie for a little under a year now, I was not comfortable trying to start a new romantic relationship. Still, I did tell her that I indeed loved her, and expected her to just sit on that. I know that I was in the wrong. I know that I should have just kept my mouth shut, that I should have just kept that thought to myself.
Granted, I haven’t done myself any favors by largely avoiding her calls and texts for the last week-and-a-half, but in my defense, I have been pretty woozy as of late. Whether that’s due to the possible aggravation of my concussions or my nervousness about talking to her for the first time after my blunder, I’m not sure. Either way, it doesn’t matter, as we’re at the Cheesecake Factory in Downtown Seattle, just across the street from the Washington State Convention Center, where we first met. I know that it’s her favorite restaurant, and also that it’s one of the busiest downtown as well. I’m hoping that the number of people will prevent her from making a scene…
”So, how about those Mariners? They’re only five games under .500. Maybe they actually are turning things around…” I know that she doesn’t like sports, but we’ve sat in relative silence for the past three minutes, ever since we’ve been seated, and considering the tension between us, it seems like three hours. I find myself talking just to break the silence.
”Maybe. I don’t really follow sports,” she responds coolly. Alice is trying to put on an exterior of not caring, but I know that inside, she’s very upset with me, very frustrated. Still, she looks beautiful in her knee length blue dress, with a black belt with a silver clasp around her waist, finished off with a classy black headband. She looks absolutely radiant, and the fact is not lost on me that she’s wearing Tardis blue. It’s my favorite color. I can tell that she wants to fix things between us, but I can also tell by her body language that she’s gauging how committed I am to making things right. So far, just like the Mariners have been the past few years, I’m striking out.
”Listen, about the last few weeks, I’m sorry that I haven’t kept in touch as much as I should have. I’ve been dealing with a massive headache due to work, I mean a literal headache…” I continue to try at small talk. Alice isn’t having any of it, though, and she cuts right to the point.
”Did you really mean it? What you said a couple of weeks ago, in my apartment, did you mean it?” She’s looking me right in the eyes. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely uncomfortable in this position. Still, I made my bed, and now I have to lay in it.
”Honestly, truthfully, yes. I do love you. And I know that it was unfair for me to say that without being ready to commit to a relationship with you. The truth is, I was scared…”
”I know.”
”I mean, with how fast everything went with Ellie, how I rushed into a relationship with her because she was the first woman that even gave me the time of day, I didn’t want to rush things with you.”
”I know.”
”Not to say that I was trying to do anything with you. I was happy just having a friend that I could watch and discuss Doctor Who with. Stan doesn’t like it, and its plots can be a little too complicated for Armando at times, especially considering that English is his second language. But in hindsight, I realize that the moment I told you that I loved you, it inherently changed our relationship.”
”It did. It really did.”
”I’ve been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about how I wish that we could go back to the way things were, but I know that that is just not possible. But I also know that in my heart of hearts, I’m not ready for a full-fledged relationship either.”
The truth is that I know that deep down inside, I’m still not over Ellie. All the mistakes that I made with her, I’m still beating myself up inside over it. The fact that it ended in divorce, what was supposed to be a lifelong commitment, well, in all honesty, it has shattered my confidence in being able to carry on any sort of real, meaningful relationship with a woman. At least this time, I know better than to tell Alice this.
Still, it’s breaking my heart to see Alice like this. I can’t help but feel like I’ve played her emotions, that I’ve given her a false hope where there is none. As she sits across me, I can see the pain in her face. She obviously doesn’t like what she’s hearing, but she’s putting on a strong face. I’ve got to make this right.
”You know, when we met at the Sci-Fi Speed Dating, neither one of us was looking for love. We were just there because our friends forced us to sign up. But now that I think about it, and as clichéd as this may sound, I think love did find us. These past few months have been some of the most fun and happiest of my life, and certainly the best I’ve had since my divorce. So whether I’m ready or not, Alice, if you’d accept me, I’d like to give us a go…”
She arches and eyebrow, looking at me skeptically. ”Really? I’d hate to think that I’m pressuring you into this.”
”And I’d hate to think that I’d be losing your friendship over my insecurities and indecisiveness. I’m more afraid of going back to life without you than of any mistakes I may make while we try this whole relationship thing. Believe me, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes!”
”You already have,” she says with a chuckle.
”But one mistake I’m not going to make is not talking to you. I made that mistake with Ellie, and I’ve made that mistake these past two weeks. If I’m clamming up, and not communicating, please, call me out!”
”You know I will!”
”So what do you say, Alice? Are you willing to accept me for the shy, nervous, clueless oaf that I am?”
”Does the Doctor think bow-ties are cool?”
”I guess there’s only one thing to say then about our new relationship…”
Alice cuts me off, finishing my sentence exactly the way I meant to, ”GERONIMO!”
With that, we reach over the table and hold hands. As we enjoy our dinner, I can’t help but feel like I’m a changed man. Even two weeks ago, I would have been paralyzed by my own thoughts, so stuck in my own head, that I probably would have let the best thing to have happened to me in a long time walk out of my life. I may have pressed the issue a bit by declaring that I loved her two weeks ago, but seeing how happy Alice is now, feeling what I feel in my heart, in a weird way, I’m happy that I did. Will things ultimately work out for us? Or will I mess up again like I did with Ellie? I don’t know yet, but I can’t let the fear of messing things up prevent me from going for the things I want in life. Sure, I may slip up and fail, but for now, I’m just happy to be with Alice.
”Two weeks. Two stinkin’ weeks. That’s how long I’ve been out following the brutal, unwarranted backstage attack from Michael Jennings.”
“This week, I make my return to the ring, participating in a huge Eight Man Tag Team Match, teaming with my good friend C.J. Gates, the always impressive A.C. Smith, and the man I let down two weeks ago by not being able to compete Nick Watson. Together, we’ll be taking on the quartet of the APW World Heavyweight Champion Level-One, the sadistic Victor Hades, the dangerously hungry Leon Roberts, and the man responsible for my latest layover, Micheal Jennings.”
“Now conventional wisdom would say that since I’m just coming off an injury, I should let the rest of my team carry the load, make quick tags in and out, and not spend that much time in the ring. I should be taking it easy. If there’s on match in wrestling that allows for that, it is an Eight Man Tag. Still, I’ve never been one to cling to conventional wisdom. I’m a braggart and show-off by nature, and there’s nothing I love more in this world than stepping into that ring and competing. Heck, I got a divorce over it! That should tell you how much I love to compete!”
“But more personally, it shows Michael Jennings that he’s not the big shot that he thinks he is.”
“I’ll be honest Jennings, I don’t know what your problem with me is! I don’t understand why you have it so out for me that you’ll take cheap shot after cheap shot against me, especially considering our first meeting in the ring was just three short weeks ago. Before that, our paths never crossed, there was no known animosity. Nothing.”
“I do have a theory, though, Jennings, and here it is: you’re trying to make the rest of the roster afraid of you, and you’re using me to do it. You’re trying to make an impact, trying to make a name for yourself, and you’re trying to do it the most obvious way possible, and that’s taking out a big name in this company.”
“Now I’m not saying that I’m a big deal, but heck, people like me, and I am a former Undisputed Champ and the only Three Time Overdrive Champion in APW history. So sure, taking me out would be quite the feather in your cap. Heck, it would probably put you on the map. Because Lord knows nothing else you’ve done has stuck!”
“When I look at you, Jennings, I see a man who doesn’t really know who he is or what he wants to be. So far in your run in APW, you’ve paired up with the Natural Born Killers, have tried your hand at televangelism, fashioned yourself as an Anti-Hero, and now, you’re running around like some backwoods cult leader, carrying a latern with you ringside in what can only be described as a either an overly blantant homage at best, or a huge rip off at worst. And this whole Black Hand thing, well, it got me to thinking that maybe you liked Grant Morrison’s run on Batman a little bit too much. Then I remembered that it was actually the Black Glove, and that you probably don’t have good enough taste to like Grant Morrison’s writing, and you certainly don’t have the intelligence to actually understand the complex and deep plots.”
“But Batman aside, Jennings, when I look at you, I see a man who is insecure with himself, who is afraid to actually be himself. It seems like you change your personality, tweek your persona on an almost weekly basis, hoping that something, anything will help the fans care about you one way or another. It’s sad, and it’s desperate, and folks can tell that you’re playing a character on TV. The Michael Jennings who fights in that ring is different from the Michael Jennings that goes to the grocery store every Thursday for milk and cereal.”
“I mean look at me, Jennings, sure I may have the fancy nickname and snazzy ring jackets, but the Biggs that fights in that ring is the same Biggs that is horrible with women, the same Biggs that is geeky and obsessive over Captain America and Doctor Who, the same Biggs that no matter how misguided he may be at times, always tries his best and never gives up!”
“And yet, you have taken it upon yourself to try and put me out of this business. Because you know that in your ever shifting, always changing persona, you need one thing, one thing, to hang your hat on and say that this defines me. That thing for you appears to be trying to end my career. Tomorrow night, Jennings, I want you to look in your corner, and see the man who is headlining your team. I want you to look at the APW World Heavyweight Champion, Level-One, and understand that he tried to do the same thing that you’re attempting to now, and he failed!”
“If Level-One, the man who has held more World Championships than anyone else in APW History, the man who has headlined three RassleManias, couldn’t retire me, what chance in hell do you think you have in accomplishing that feat? You don’t! All that you did, Jennings, was succeed in pissing me off! You’ve made things personal, and I can’t think of anything more satisfying than stepping into that ring tomorrow night, and eliminating you from the match myself!”
“Granted, there’s three other men on your team, not least of which is Level-One. Now Lester, you and I have a history. Just over four months ago, we went through hell in what has widely been regarded as the Match of the Night at RassleMania IX. And while I still don’t like you after that match, I can’t deny that I respect you and your ability inside that ring. I can say without hyperbole that you are the man to beat going into this Eight Man Tag Team Match, and for good reason. You’re Level-freakin’-One! You’re supposedly unbeatable!”
“But you’re overlooking one fact, Lester, two of the four guys on our team have beaten you! C.J. and I have both had our arms raised in victory after your shoulders have been counted to the mat, one, two, three! And in an Eight Man Tag Match, you have to rely on your teammates! Nobody can just go out there and win the match on their own, although there’s no doubt that you believe that you can. Your ego will be your greatest enemy in this match-up, Lester. That, and the fact that all four of us on the opposite team will most certainly be gunning for you! I know that you’re used to being the target, Level-One, that you’re used to having the Bull’s Eye on your back, but I still feel like your ego is too big to allow you to rely on your teammates in this match. You can’t trust them, and in all honesty, you probably shouldn’t, but the fact is that this is a Team Match, not an individual’s match. If you fight this match alone, like you always do, then you’re all but guaranteeing that you’ll end up staring at the lights while the ref counts to three.”
“Victor Hades, you sadistic son of a gun, as much as I’d like to say that it’s good to see you back in APW, I just can’t bring myself to say it. The fact is, Vic, that I’ve never liked your style. You’re needlessly brutal in that ring. You take liberties with your opponents, and your goal isn’t so much as to hurt your opponents as it is to leave them in a crumpled, bloody mess. I cannot respect that Victor Hades. And while wrestling is a full contact sport, and is miles away from ballet, the fact of the matter is that there is a huge difference between hurting your opponents and injuring them. We’re all trying to make a living by fighting. I get that injuries are a part of this sport. I’ve been out for two weeks with an injury of my own, but when you’re stepping into that ring with the intent of legitimately making somebody miss ring time, when you’re stepping into the ring trying to affect their ability to earn money, affecting their livelihood, well, Victor, that’s just taking things too far!”
“I know you’re dangerous, I know you pride yourself on your unpredictability, but I also know that sometimes you can get so focused on inflicting as much pain and misery as possible, that you can sometimes get tunnel vision, and forget the reason you’re in the ring in the first place, and that is to win matches! I’m counting on you getting carried away tomorrow night, Vic, I’m prepared for you to lose control. And I know that when you do, that will make it all the easier to pull a fast one on you and eliminate you from the match!”
“And finally, we come to Leon ‘The Virus’ Roberts, or as I like to call him, Victor Hades-lite. Listen, Leon, I know that your nickname of ‘The Virus’ is appropriate because you make everyone sick to their stomach just by the sight of you, but you carry yourself like this big, demonic dude, using demonic words and imagery in naming your signature moves. With a nickname like ‘The Virus,’ I guess I would expect more disease-y sounding names. Like the Hellbound Chokeslam, for example. I would call it the Sore Throat. And the Pentagram Slam could be the Vomit Bomb.”
“I guess what I’m saying is that I feel like it’s just a real missed opportunity, the fact that you don’t come out with a stethoscope and clipboard, that you’ve instead crafted the dime-a-dozen dark demon persona when you could have been the Wrestling Doctor!”
“But all kidding aside, Leon, I know that you’re hungry to prove yourself, and it’s matches like these where a guy can really make a name for himself. Because even if all you’re able to muster up is a good showing in tomorrow night’s match, a good showing against the likes of C.J. Gates, A.C. Smith, Nick Watson and myself could do wonders for your career, and go a long way in showing the fans that you belong near the top of the card on Overdrive. That being said, even you have to admit that you are the obvious weak link in your team.”
“But ultimately, when I look at the team of four that will be standing across from us in the ring, I see four individuals. I see four men who all want to win, but just don’t have it in them to put their egos aside for even one second to be able to work together as a team.”
“When I look at the lineup of my team, I know for a fact that we’ll be able to work together. C.J. Gates and I have already shown that we’re on the same page as the Space Cowboys! I have nothing but respect for A.C. Smith, and I know that he feels the same. And despite my guilt from leaving Nick Watson hanging out to dry two weeks ago due to doctor’s orders, I know that he doesn’t hold it against me in the slightest!”
“We’re all four talented individuals in our own right, but together, we can and will work as one. We will be a team, plain and simple, and in an Eight Man Tag Team Match, it’s going to the group that works best as a team that will win it! I’m not saying that we’re going to sweep you guys, the very thought would be asinine, because you’re all four incredibly talented individuals. But what I am saying is that in the end, whichever team works better together will be the team that has their arm raised in victory at the end of the night.”
“So Lester, Leon, Vic, and Mikey, hype yourselves up all you want, talk about how you’re the more intimidating collection of men, just realize that if the four of you cannot get one the same page before tomorrow night, and I honestly don’t think that you can, then tomorrow night’s match will conclude with one of you getting your shoulders counted as the final elimination.”
“The fact of the matter is that each of you is afraid of losing. You don’t want to take one of the team. You yourselves are bigger than the team. Not the case with us. If I have to eat a big boot to make sure Nick can stay in the match, I will! If A.C. has to take the Level-Advance to save C.J.’s tail, I know that he would gladly do it! I know that C.J. would take a steel chair shot to the noggin to protect me, and that Nick would gladly take a punch to prevent A.C. from being blindsided. I know this is a cliché, but there is no ‘I’ in Team, and we personify that. You guys, well, you look at that and say there may not be an ‘I’, but there is a ‘me.’ And that’s why you’re going to lose tomorrow night, plain and simple.”
“Because you’re not like us. You’re not fearless. And because of this fact, you will fall to the team of The Space Cowboys, A.C. Smith, and Nick Watson. Because we’re all quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!
After I finish filming the latest episode of First Contact, I whip out my cell phone, and send out a group text to C.J., A.C., and Nick.
Hey guys, how would you feel about going out for a pancake breakfast tomorrow morning, my treat?
Within moments, I receive texts back from all three guys.
I’m trying to watch my carbs, but if I can get a steak, count me in!
I think it will be fun.
Of course!
I know it’s not much, but I know that even something as little as a pancake breakfast will help unify us as a team. I can’t wait!
A big, stinkin’ headache.
If there was one way for me to describe the past couple of weeks, that is exactly how I would put it.
There’s the fact that my head is still buzzing from the attack by Michael Jennings two Overdrives ago, but unsurprisingly, it’s the least of my worries as I sit across the table from my good friend Alice. Or perhaps it’s just my friend Alice. Or considering the way she’s currently looking at me, perhaps even my former friend Alice.
Two weeks ago, I made the mistake of telling her that I loved her, but then back-pedaled, saying that I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Considering I had only been divorced from Ellie for a little under a year now, I was not comfortable trying to start a new romantic relationship. Still, I did tell her that I indeed loved her, and expected her to just sit on that. I know that I was in the wrong. I know that I should have just kept my mouth shut, that I should have just kept that thought to myself.
Granted, I haven’t done myself any favors by largely avoiding her calls and texts for the last week-and-a-half, but in my defense, I have been pretty woozy as of late. Whether that’s due to the possible aggravation of my concussions or my nervousness about talking to her for the first time after my blunder, I’m not sure. Either way, it doesn’t matter, as we’re at the Cheesecake Factory in Downtown Seattle, just across the street from the Washington State Convention Center, where we first met. I know that it’s her favorite restaurant, and also that it’s one of the busiest downtown as well. I’m hoping that the number of people will prevent her from making a scene…
”So, how about those Mariners? They’re only five games under .500. Maybe they actually are turning things around…” I know that she doesn’t like sports, but we’ve sat in relative silence for the past three minutes, ever since we’ve been seated, and considering the tension between us, it seems like three hours. I find myself talking just to break the silence.
”Maybe. I don’t really follow sports,” she responds coolly. Alice is trying to put on an exterior of not caring, but I know that inside, she’s very upset with me, very frustrated. Still, she looks beautiful in her knee length blue dress, with a black belt with a silver clasp around her waist, finished off with a classy black headband. She looks absolutely radiant, and the fact is not lost on me that she’s wearing Tardis blue. It’s my favorite color. I can tell that she wants to fix things between us, but I can also tell by her body language that she’s gauging how committed I am to making things right. So far, just like the Mariners have been the past few years, I’m striking out.
”Listen, about the last few weeks, I’m sorry that I haven’t kept in touch as much as I should have. I’ve been dealing with a massive headache due to work, I mean a literal headache…” I continue to try at small talk. Alice isn’t having any of it, though, and she cuts right to the point.
”Did you really mean it? What you said a couple of weeks ago, in my apartment, did you mean it?” She’s looking me right in the eyes. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely uncomfortable in this position. Still, I made my bed, and now I have to lay in it.
”Honestly, truthfully, yes. I do love you. And I know that it was unfair for me to say that without being ready to commit to a relationship with you. The truth is, I was scared…”
”I know.”
”I mean, with how fast everything went with Ellie, how I rushed into a relationship with her because she was the first woman that even gave me the time of day, I didn’t want to rush things with you.”
”I know.”
”Not to say that I was trying to do anything with you. I was happy just having a friend that I could watch and discuss Doctor Who with. Stan doesn’t like it, and its plots can be a little too complicated for Armando at times, especially considering that English is his second language. But in hindsight, I realize that the moment I told you that I loved you, it inherently changed our relationship.”
”It did. It really did.”
”I’ve been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about how I wish that we could go back to the way things were, but I know that that is just not possible. But I also know that in my heart of hearts, I’m not ready for a full-fledged relationship either.”
The truth is that I know that deep down inside, I’m still not over Ellie. All the mistakes that I made with her, I’m still beating myself up inside over it. The fact that it ended in divorce, what was supposed to be a lifelong commitment, well, in all honesty, it has shattered my confidence in being able to carry on any sort of real, meaningful relationship with a woman. At least this time, I know better than to tell Alice this.
Still, it’s breaking my heart to see Alice like this. I can’t help but feel like I’ve played her emotions, that I’ve given her a false hope where there is none. As she sits across me, I can see the pain in her face. She obviously doesn’t like what she’s hearing, but she’s putting on a strong face. I’ve got to make this right.
”You know, when we met at the Sci-Fi Speed Dating, neither one of us was looking for love. We were just there because our friends forced us to sign up. But now that I think about it, and as clichéd as this may sound, I think love did find us. These past few months have been some of the most fun and happiest of my life, and certainly the best I’ve had since my divorce. So whether I’m ready or not, Alice, if you’d accept me, I’d like to give us a go…”
She arches and eyebrow, looking at me skeptically. ”Really? I’d hate to think that I’m pressuring you into this.”
”And I’d hate to think that I’d be losing your friendship over my insecurities and indecisiveness. I’m more afraid of going back to life without you than of any mistakes I may make while we try this whole relationship thing. Believe me, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes!”
”You already have,” she says with a chuckle.
”But one mistake I’m not going to make is not talking to you. I made that mistake with Ellie, and I’ve made that mistake these past two weeks. If I’m clamming up, and not communicating, please, call me out!”
”You know I will!”
”So what do you say, Alice? Are you willing to accept me for the shy, nervous, clueless oaf that I am?”
”Does the Doctor think bow-ties are cool?”
”I guess there’s only one thing to say then about our new relationship…”
Alice cuts me off, finishing my sentence exactly the way I meant to, ”GERONIMO!”
With that, we reach over the table and hold hands. As we enjoy our dinner, I can’t help but feel like I’m a changed man. Even two weeks ago, I would have been paralyzed by my own thoughts, so stuck in my own head, that I probably would have let the best thing to have happened to me in a long time walk out of my life. I may have pressed the issue a bit by declaring that I loved her two weeks ago, but seeing how happy Alice is now, feeling what I feel in my heart, in a weird way, I’m happy that I did. Will things ultimately work out for us? Or will I mess up again like I did with Ellie? I don’t know yet, but I can’t let the fear of messing things up prevent me from going for the things I want in life. Sure, I may slip up and fail, but for now, I’m just happy to be with Alice.
***
”Two weeks. Two stinkin’ weeks. That’s how long I’ve been out following the brutal, unwarranted backstage attack from Michael Jennings.”
“This week, I make my return to the ring, participating in a huge Eight Man Tag Team Match, teaming with my good friend C.J. Gates, the always impressive A.C. Smith, and the man I let down two weeks ago by not being able to compete Nick Watson. Together, we’ll be taking on the quartet of the APW World Heavyweight Champion Level-One, the sadistic Victor Hades, the dangerously hungry Leon Roberts, and the man responsible for my latest layover, Micheal Jennings.”
“Now conventional wisdom would say that since I’m just coming off an injury, I should let the rest of my team carry the load, make quick tags in and out, and not spend that much time in the ring. I should be taking it easy. If there’s on match in wrestling that allows for that, it is an Eight Man Tag. Still, I’ve never been one to cling to conventional wisdom. I’m a braggart and show-off by nature, and there’s nothing I love more in this world than stepping into that ring and competing. Heck, I got a divorce over it! That should tell you how much I love to compete!”
“But more personally, it shows Michael Jennings that he’s not the big shot that he thinks he is.”
“I’ll be honest Jennings, I don’t know what your problem with me is! I don’t understand why you have it so out for me that you’ll take cheap shot after cheap shot against me, especially considering our first meeting in the ring was just three short weeks ago. Before that, our paths never crossed, there was no known animosity. Nothing.”
“I do have a theory, though, Jennings, and here it is: you’re trying to make the rest of the roster afraid of you, and you’re using me to do it. You’re trying to make an impact, trying to make a name for yourself, and you’re trying to do it the most obvious way possible, and that’s taking out a big name in this company.”
“Now I’m not saying that I’m a big deal, but heck, people like me, and I am a former Undisputed Champ and the only Three Time Overdrive Champion in APW history. So sure, taking me out would be quite the feather in your cap. Heck, it would probably put you on the map. Because Lord knows nothing else you’ve done has stuck!”
“When I look at you, Jennings, I see a man who doesn’t really know who he is or what he wants to be. So far in your run in APW, you’ve paired up with the Natural Born Killers, have tried your hand at televangelism, fashioned yourself as an Anti-Hero, and now, you’re running around like some backwoods cult leader, carrying a latern with you ringside in what can only be described as a either an overly blantant homage at best, or a huge rip off at worst. And this whole Black Hand thing, well, it got me to thinking that maybe you liked Grant Morrison’s run on Batman a little bit too much. Then I remembered that it was actually the Black Glove, and that you probably don’t have good enough taste to like Grant Morrison’s writing, and you certainly don’t have the intelligence to actually understand the complex and deep plots.”
“But Batman aside, Jennings, when I look at you, I see a man who is insecure with himself, who is afraid to actually be himself. It seems like you change your personality, tweek your persona on an almost weekly basis, hoping that something, anything will help the fans care about you one way or another. It’s sad, and it’s desperate, and folks can tell that you’re playing a character on TV. The Michael Jennings who fights in that ring is different from the Michael Jennings that goes to the grocery store every Thursday for milk and cereal.”
“I mean look at me, Jennings, sure I may have the fancy nickname and snazzy ring jackets, but the Biggs that fights in that ring is the same Biggs that is horrible with women, the same Biggs that is geeky and obsessive over Captain America and Doctor Who, the same Biggs that no matter how misguided he may be at times, always tries his best and never gives up!”
“And yet, you have taken it upon yourself to try and put me out of this business. Because you know that in your ever shifting, always changing persona, you need one thing, one thing, to hang your hat on and say that this defines me. That thing for you appears to be trying to end my career. Tomorrow night, Jennings, I want you to look in your corner, and see the man who is headlining your team. I want you to look at the APW World Heavyweight Champion, Level-One, and understand that he tried to do the same thing that you’re attempting to now, and he failed!”
“If Level-One, the man who has held more World Championships than anyone else in APW History, the man who has headlined three RassleManias, couldn’t retire me, what chance in hell do you think you have in accomplishing that feat? You don’t! All that you did, Jennings, was succeed in pissing me off! You’ve made things personal, and I can’t think of anything more satisfying than stepping into that ring tomorrow night, and eliminating you from the match myself!”
“Granted, there’s three other men on your team, not least of which is Level-One. Now Lester, you and I have a history. Just over four months ago, we went through hell in what has widely been regarded as the Match of the Night at RassleMania IX. And while I still don’t like you after that match, I can’t deny that I respect you and your ability inside that ring. I can say without hyperbole that you are the man to beat going into this Eight Man Tag Team Match, and for good reason. You’re Level-freakin’-One! You’re supposedly unbeatable!”
“But you’re overlooking one fact, Lester, two of the four guys on our team have beaten you! C.J. and I have both had our arms raised in victory after your shoulders have been counted to the mat, one, two, three! And in an Eight Man Tag Match, you have to rely on your teammates! Nobody can just go out there and win the match on their own, although there’s no doubt that you believe that you can. Your ego will be your greatest enemy in this match-up, Lester. That, and the fact that all four of us on the opposite team will most certainly be gunning for you! I know that you’re used to being the target, Level-One, that you’re used to having the Bull’s Eye on your back, but I still feel like your ego is too big to allow you to rely on your teammates in this match. You can’t trust them, and in all honesty, you probably shouldn’t, but the fact is that this is a Team Match, not an individual’s match. If you fight this match alone, like you always do, then you’re all but guaranteeing that you’ll end up staring at the lights while the ref counts to three.”
“Victor Hades, you sadistic son of a gun, as much as I’d like to say that it’s good to see you back in APW, I just can’t bring myself to say it. The fact is, Vic, that I’ve never liked your style. You’re needlessly brutal in that ring. You take liberties with your opponents, and your goal isn’t so much as to hurt your opponents as it is to leave them in a crumpled, bloody mess. I cannot respect that Victor Hades. And while wrestling is a full contact sport, and is miles away from ballet, the fact of the matter is that there is a huge difference between hurting your opponents and injuring them. We’re all trying to make a living by fighting. I get that injuries are a part of this sport. I’ve been out for two weeks with an injury of my own, but when you’re stepping into that ring with the intent of legitimately making somebody miss ring time, when you’re stepping into the ring trying to affect their ability to earn money, affecting their livelihood, well, Victor, that’s just taking things too far!”
“I know you’re dangerous, I know you pride yourself on your unpredictability, but I also know that sometimes you can get so focused on inflicting as much pain and misery as possible, that you can sometimes get tunnel vision, and forget the reason you’re in the ring in the first place, and that is to win matches! I’m counting on you getting carried away tomorrow night, Vic, I’m prepared for you to lose control. And I know that when you do, that will make it all the easier to pull a fast one on you and eliminate you from the match!”
“And finally, we come to Leon ‘The Virus’ Roberts, or as I like to call him, Victor Hades-lite. Listen, Leon, I know that your nickname of ‘The Virus’ is appropriate because you make everyone sick to their stomach just by the sight of you, but you carry yourself like this big, demonic dude, using demonic words and imagery in naming your signature moves. With a nickname like ‘The Virus,’ I guess I would expect more disease-y sounding names. Like the Hellbound Chokeslam, for example. I would call it the Sore Throat. And the Pentagram Slam could be the Vomit Bomb.”
“I guess what I’m saying is that I feel like it’s just a real missed opportunity, the fact that you don’t come out with a stethoscope and clipboard, that you’ve instead crafted the dime-a-dozen dark demon persona when you could have been the Wrestling Doctor!”
“But all kidding aside, Leon, I know that you’re hungry to prove yourself, and it’s matches like these where a guy can really make a name for himself. Because even if all you’re able to muster up is a good showing in tomorrow night’s match, a good showing against the likes of C.J. Gates, A.C. Smith, Nick Watson and myself could do wonders for your career, and go a long way in showing the fans that you belong near the top of the card on Overdrive. That being said, even you have to admit that you are the obvious weak link in your team.”
“But ultimately, when I look at the team of four that will be standing across from us in the ring, I see four individuals. I see four men who all want to win, but just don’t have it in them to put their egos aside for even one second to be able to work together as a team.”
“When I look at the lineup of my team, I know for a fact that we’ll be able to work together. C.J. Gates and I have already shown that we’re on the same page as the Space Cowboys! I have nothing but respect for A.C. Smith, and I know that he feels the same. And despite my guilt from leaving Nick Watson hanging out to dry two weeks ago due to doctor’s orders, I know that he doesn’t hold it against me in the slightest!”
“We’re all four talented individuals in our own right, but together, we can and will work as one. We will be a team, plain and simple, and in an Eight Man Tag Team Match, it’s going to the group that works best as a team that will win it! I’m not saying that we’re going to sweep you guys, the very thought would be asinine, because you’re all four incredibly talented individuals. But what I am saying is that in the end, whichever team works better together will be the team that has their arm raised in victory at the end of the night.”
“So Lester, Leon, Vic, and Mikey, hype yourselves up all you want, talk about how you’re the more intimidating collection of men, just realize that if the four of you cannot get one the same page before tomorrow night, and I honestly don’t think that you can, then tomorrow night’s match will conclude with one of you getting your shoulders counted as the final elimination.”
“The fact of the matter is that each of you is afraid of losing. You don’t want to take one of the team. You yourselves are bigger than the team. Not the case with us. If I have to eat a big boot to make sure Nick can stay in the match, I will! If A.C. has to take the Level-Advance to save C.J.’s tail, I know that he would gladly do it! I know that C.J. would take a steel chair shot to the noggin to protect me, and that Nick would gladly take a punch to prevent A.C. from being blindsided. I know this is a cliché, but there is no ‘I’ in Team, and we personify that. You guys, well, you look at that and say there may not be an ‘I’, but there is a ‘me.’ And that’s why you’re going to lose tomorrow night, plain and simple.”
“Because you’re not like us. You’re not fearless. And because of this fact, you will fall to the team of The Space Cowboys, A.C. Smith, and Nick Watson. Because we’re all quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!
***
After I finish filming the latest episode of First Contact, I whip out my cell phone, and send out a group text to C.J., A.C., and Nick.
Hey guys, how would you feel about going out for a pancake breakfast tomorrow morning, my treat?
Within moments, I receive texts back from all three guys.
I’m trying to watch my carbs, but if I can get a steak, count me in!
I think it will be fun.
Of course!
I know it’s not much, but I know that even something as little as a pancake breakfast will help unify us as a team. I can’t wait!
