Allll the single ladies...

[Kris]

So yeah... this promo is just being posted to share with the peoples of APW. Since it features Brandon Young's dancin' skillz, I figured it'd be amusing.

I’m up on him, he up on me... don’t pay him any attention.
Cried my tears, three good years - ya can’t be mad at me...

Beyonce's dance anthem 'Single Ladies' - blaring at full blast, of course! - surely puts the mind toward the mental image of a scantily-clad redhead shaking what her momma gave her. Unfortunately, that isn’t the sight that greets the eye as the scene opens… Rachel isn't even in the living room of the condo that she and the rest of Nextwave are in the process of moving into. Nope, there's only one person around - her manager-slash-older-brother-from-another-mother, Brandon Young. To his credit, the Hispanic young man can cut a rug like no one's business. That doesn't stop the near-perfect mimicry of Beyonce's moves from being hilarious, yet creepy all at the same time. At least he isn't wearing a black leotard - instead, he's got a black t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off paired with a pair of black gym shorts, standard-issue white socks on his feet. Grinding and prancing in surprisingly effeminate fashion for a man that swears that he's all about the ladies, the only thing that could make matters worse is if he started to sing--

Brandon: Cuz if you liked it, then you shoulda' put a ring on it...

…and with that, it has been confirmed - Brandon has officially lost any and all dignity he may have had left. With a singing voice that puts one in mind of dying cattle in the middle of a hailstorm, it's no wonder that he has the music up so high. As loud as he's singing, though? Yeah, he's totally drowning Beyonce out. As the self-proclaimed Professor continues to get down with his bad self, Rachel descends the stairs two at a time, coming into view from the feet-up as a result. The lone female member of Nextwave isn't dressed all that fancily - she's just wearing a pair of Pink Floyd pajama pants and one of Adrian's 'RevolveЯ' t-shirts, unnaturally-bright red hair pulled up into a ponytail. Judging by the slightly irritated frown on her face, she was about to tell Brandon to turn his stereo down… but once she catches sight of him, she has to clamp her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing aloud. Quickly retreating back a few steps, she digs her cell phone out of her pocket and hits 'send' twice. The moment that the person on the other end picks up, she speaks… or, rather, she tries to. It's hard to get words out, when she's doing her damndest not to guffaw.

Rachel: Adge… oh my God...

Adrian: Babe, are you alright?

The Arizona Assassin on the other end of the call sounds concerned - and all things considered, he probably should be. Enough of a chuckle gets through Rachel's control to reassure him - and if that wouldn't have done the job, then what she says next would have.

Rachel: Get down here with Ceece-- oh! And bring the camera!

Adrian: O...kay?

A quick kissy-sound exchange (they're a new couple, eheh) and Rachel hangs up the phone, tucking it back from whence it came. It's about thirty seconds before the love of her life and her other-brother-from-another-mother make their way down the stairs. Adrian Tanner is wearing blue jeans and a black shirt with "Seriously, it never misses." in bold white font with a picture of a Revolver underneath it while Cecil Kennedy is wearing black jeans and a black shirt with "It ain't easy, bein' cheesy." written on the front, a simple digital camera in his hands. By now, Rachel's leaning against the wall with an arm slung over her stomach, her entire body shaking from the laughter she's holding in. Being the still-wary boyfriend that he is, Adrian immediately focuses on her.

Adrian: What's up?

Rachel: O-Over there...

She points, he and Cecil both look… and a few seconds later, they're all losing it.

Adrian: ...Oh. My. God!

Rachel: I t-told you..!

Adrian: Oh god, my sides. Quick Ceece, turn the damn camera on. We need to videotape this!

Cecil turns on the video camera and aims it at Brandon, who just keeps singing and dancing like he's still the only person in the room. For about fifteen seconds, the majority of Nextwave is content to keep right on laughing at his expense - and seriously, can anyone blame them?

Adrian: Rach, you should go join him. See how long it takes him to notice.

Cecil: You just wanna see her dance, don't you?

Adrian: ...Yeah? And?

Rachel chuckles to herself, shaking her head.

Rachel: You talk like you don't know how well I can move my hips...

Before Adrian can respond, the redhead is darting forward, taking her position next to Brandon and jumping in. It's sort of sad, being out-booty-shaken by a guy… but she holds her own. From the sidelines, Adrian's head cants slightly to the side as his eyes remain glued on his redhead.

Adrian: Just because I know doesn't mean it isn't fun to watch.

Cecil laughs and keeps filming. Brandon keeps on dancing, oblivious to anything but himself and his little performance.

Brandon: All the single ladies! All the...

He does a little turn, and THEN he notices the tiny redhead dancing right next to him, totally in synch.

Brandon: ...aaaaAHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL?!

Rachel: Hey, that's not the words to the song! You're gonna throw us off, you ass!

Brandon: You. What. HOW-

It's at that moment that he notices Adrian and Cecil on the stairs with the camera.

Brandon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--

Rachel rolls her eyes, smacking Brandon upside the head to cut off his scream.

Rachel: Oh calm down, Bacon! You're not the only one that's on camera dancing like an idiot.

Brandon: Calm down? CALM DOWN?! NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS!

Adrian: Oh relax. It's not like you're bad or anything.

Brandon: That's not the point!

Rachel: Tch, the problem is that he's not secure enough in himself to just do what he wants, other peoples' opinions be damned.

Brandon: Hi I'm Brandon. Have we met?

Rachel: Yes, we have… and it's a damn shame that you're not the bad-assed older brother type I thought you were. Now if you'll excuse me, the song's not over.

And, with that, the redhead goes back to dancing - no singing, though. Brandon was the one in the role of Beyonce, after all. Brandon stands there watching her, his face contorting into anger as her words sink in.

Brandon: ...I'll show her bad-assed older brother type she thought I was!

And with that, he... jumps back into the song. Adrian and Cecil's eyebrows raise as they look on. After a few seconds of more angrily dancing and singing, Brandon starts loosening up a little - and soon after that happens, he and Rachel are both laughing and goofing off. It's not long at all before the song comes to an end, the duo hitting a finishing pose that earns a laugh from their small, impromptu audience.

Brandon: That bad-assed enough for ya?

Rachel: It sure is, bro… it sure is.

The redhead loops an arm around Brandon's shoulders, giving him a partial hug - and as always, he's quick to hug her back.

Brandon: Oooh hugs!

Rachel: Haha, you're like of those gigantic plush stuffed animals… so huggable.

Brandon chuckles.

Brandon: You're gonna' ruin my rep, if you keep sayin' things like that.

Cecil: …you have a rep for anything beyond being a gigantic assmunch?

Brandon: ...I'm a badass champion now.

Rachel chuckles, shaking her head.

Rachel: No matter the amount of badassity in your rep… you'll always be Bacon to me.

Brandon makes a face of mock-annoyance... that quickly turns into a grin. He gently ruffles Rachel's hair.

Brandon: You're the little sister I never asked for... but I wouldn't trade ya for the world.

Adrian: Awwwwww...

Rachel chuckles as she shakes her head, padding over across the floor to wrap her arms around the waist of the Arizona Assassin. He loops an arm around behind her, kissing the top of her head as he squeezes her close.

Adrian: So, when should I upload this to Youtube?

Brandon: You better not!

Adrian: Relax man, I'm kidding.

Rachel: Speaking of Youtube… did you have any luck findin' anything after I headed down here to find the dancing pig?

Adrian blinks.

Adrian: Finding anything on what...?

Rachel: Y'know… of the coronation?

Adrian: Oh, that. Nope, couldn't find anything. Not even a single video.

Brandon: Coronation? What coronation are you talkin' about, Rach?

Rachel: Of our king, duh.

Brandon: Burger King?

The redhead laughs, shaking her head.

Rachel: No… our king. Y'know - the Nerd King!

Brandon: ...how come nobody told me we have a King?

Cecil: Probably because he doesn't exist.

Rachel: Precisely!

A kiss to Adrian's cheek and she disengages from the hug, taking her hair down from its ponytail and mussing it up a little so it lays as it should. Once that is done - as has become the tradition with Nextwave promos - Rachel turns to directly address the camera.

Rachel: Hey there, Johnny - I am allowed to call you that, right? Good. Anyway, Johnny, I'm not gonna lie… I don't know much about you beyond the entire 'giving yourself a nonexistent title to make yourself feel like a man' business' and that you're… well, you're smaller than me. It's gonna' be interesting, being the one with the size advantage for a change - but that's not what has me thinkin' that this is gonna be a cakewalk. No, your arrogance in calling yourself my king when there hasn't been a monarchy for nerdom ever… that just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, how could it not? You've taken it upon yourself to snag a Burger King crown and arbitrarily decide that you're the only person worthy of leading us. And for what? To satisfy your own ego. For shame, Johnny… for shame.

Adrian: I hope our fair "king" is the kind who likes to answer questions, because I for one would sure like to know what makes him so special.

Rachel scoffs.

Rachel: I think it's safe to say that all four of us want the answer to that question.

Brandon: When I was little I got this GI Joe thing that listed me as "Commander Brandon." But ya don't see me pretending to be some army guy.

Adrian: Says the guy who calls himself "Professor."

Brandon: Tch. Not even close to the same thing!

Adrian: How is it not again?

Brandon: Because I've got documents! There's no documents for being "King" of the nerds!

Adrian: Riiiiiiight.

The redhead shakes her head, chuckling a little to herself from the bantering.

Rachel: He's right, though - there is a difference between'em. Bacon actually put in the time to learn as much as he has - and it ain't like all professors are made the exact same way. Kings, on the other hand… there's a far more limited scope there. You're either born into it, married into it… or you fight your way to it. Considering how I can't magically transport through time to give birth to you instead of your mom - and that there is only one man on the face of the planet that's worthy of me marrying him--

The redhead jerks her head to the side toward Adrian, who can't help but offer up one of those smirks that most of his opponents have grown to love… to hate.

Rachel: -- it looks like the only way to actually give some credibility to that title of yours... is to beat the ever-loving shit out of you in the name of taking it for myself.

Adrian: I for one, would welcome you as our Queen.

Rachel: Of course you would. You'd get all the benefits of royalty… and all the more you'd have to do to earn it is the same stuff you're already doing.

Adrian: Are you calling me a golddigger?

Adrian grins.

Cecil: I think that'd be a better title for Brandon, personally.

Adrian: Hrm, good point.

Rachel: More like court jester, you mean. I'll have to figure out a way to make him dance on command… eh, I can worry about that later. Don't wanna get ahead of myself, after all.

Adrian: So you ARE calling me a golddigger.

Adrian grins again.

Rachel: Not at all, Adge. More the, ah… royal provider of Leisure Suit Larry.

Brandon scoffs, rolling his eyes.

Brandon: You seriously need a royal provider of that?! Jesus, you must suck at that game!

Rachel stifles a laugh as Adrian smirks.

Adrian: Uh, yeah... you could say that...

Brandon: And you call yourselves gamers...

Cecil: What, you haven't figured it out?

Brandon: ...figured what out?

Rachel can't hold in her laughter anymore, leaning against Adrian to keep herself from falling over while Cecil facepalms. Brandon, on the other hand, is starting to get irate… again.

Brandon: What the hell is so funny?!

Rachel: Maybe… when you're… older….

Before Brandon can blow a gasket, Rachel recovers enough to point at something off-screen.

Rachel: Hey look guys, boobs!

Brandon dashes off like his Beyonce CD is being threatened... well, except with glee instead of fury. Cecil raises an eyebrow and, then 'getting the hint,'follows Brandon. Adrian stays right where he is, although he's looking down. Rachel quirks a brow.

Rachel: …you didn't follow them?

Adrian: Why would I do that? My favorite boobs are right there.

He smirks as Rachel chuckles, shaking her head before she returns her gaze to the camera's lens.

Rachel: As I was saying before I went off on, like, three different tangents at once… you better cuddle up to that cardboard crown for as long as you can, maybe glue a few of those fake rhinestones on it or somethin - because at Anarchy? This so-called 'peasant' is gonna lead an uprising that just might end in a beheading. Or, y'know, with you tapping out like a little bitch. Either way…

The redhead leans a bit closer to the camera, her mischievous smirk growing niiiice and wide.

Rachel: Viva La Revolución, motherfucker.

Adrian smirks.

Adrian: I think you just earned your first Fade to your mother.

Rachel: Ooh, really? Awesome!

And, with that…

Fade to your mother.