Post by Johnny "True Brit" Brown on Aug 5, 2011 15:09:55 GMT -4
The sunset in the east… or was it the west? I don’t really care I just wanted something thoughtful to begin this with.
I'd thought I’d try something different for my promo's, we've had blogs, vlogs, video messages all that breaking the barriers style stuff, well me... in true British fashion I'm going for a 'soap' style, I’ll be the narrator and for those that watch Easties, Corry or the like don't worry there isn't gonna be any incest, baby snatching or arson, although I hope to 'snatch' a few Hollyoaks style birds, if you'll excuse the pun. Any way since in the U.K. we don’t do that annoying previously on... bullcrap 24 started, an' cos their aint been any thing to be previous as it's my first dip into the APW pond lets get on with it.
That dude; looking cool as a cue; on the Triumph, is me.
Johnny Brown!
Getting my bike through customs was a pain in the arse but it was worth it, my baby is one of the few constants in my life, I built the bitch from scratch. Sorry babe, no foul you're a bitch in a good way.
Damn I’m talking to the bike again. Other than the squared circle this is where I feel most comfortable, wrapped in my black bomber, my DOT flat on my head and my 14 hole Air wares on the pegs.
My destination is the Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee, but as I have over a week before Asylum I may as well enjoy myself. I could get there a bit early and catch Death Cab for Cutie, well if they didn’t SUCK I would. The chicks in these small towns dig my accent, even if it’s a mis-mash of cockney, brum and good knows where else; thanks to my nomadic upbringing. To the squidlies in Hickville I may as well be Dick Van Dyke.
Watch this dick in a semi get pissed cos I overtook him… yeah screw you ya pig loving redneck…
With people like that considered the backbone of yer economy it’s no wonder this place is in such a state, what with the politicians ruining the world, they are the ones bending over for the banks and allowing mass immigration…
Before you get your panties in a bunch; this isn’t an' I hate foreigner’s cheap heat BS, it affects every country from the top down. If your country’s f’ed then fix it don’t run away and suck a different one dry. Do something positive, I’m dragging myself around this crapholes town across the once superpower called America to show that you just like Britain can be great.
If the truth hurts then stop listening now, you all know that your country is in a hole it can’t get out of, sure you blame the war on terror and everyone else you can pin blame on for your problems but it’s all of your faults.
You’ve all grown fat and complacent suckling at the governments teat, indulging yourself with no thought for the future, and now you stuck on your back, your weak limbs flailing at your sides, the gluttony that you gave into have clogged your mind with thick grease that stops you from thinking about how you got here.
Put down your guns, that your constitution allows you; which of course indirectly causes all of the shootings and gun crime that causes another black mark on your red, white and blue nation; the tale that I am weaving isn’t really any different that the one in my homeland or of many more across the world.
What the f’ does this have to do with wrestling? Something… perhaps nothing; maybe I’m talking in circles for shits and giggles. All aspects of life are filled with chancers and blaggers, in England it’s the chavs claiming benefits for children that don’t exist or injuries that never happened so they can buy a bigger teevee for their United Colours of Benetton children to watch Jeremy Kyle while they get high, in APW its my opponents this week masquerading as a Tommy Knoxville and The Demon… $hit is that really his name?
A gigantic beast of a man living on size and image, if he really the embodiment of evil or just a dude who wacked off to Elvira too much when he was a mere hellspawn? To me it don’t make no difference, I fight; it's what I do, it’s that bloody simple. He’s probably the favourite going into this but I'm cool with that.
If that means the big man and Tommy Knocker under estimate me it works in my favour. Demon debuted in impressive style last week; while I played in a park during my intro vid. Not exactly grim and foreboding is it? At least in my day there was a Witches Hat, those things were lethal but damn its better than springy malformed animals surrounded by rubber, kids get it too easy.
My opponents this week… they won’t get it easy, there aint nothing friendly about me. Sure, they’ll take what I have to say as empty threats and rhetoric but I wouldn’t expect it any other way. Are either of the punchbags I have been presented with; as tough as me?
No f’ing way, why don’t you try getting the piss beaten out of you for being a ‘gypo’ aged 7; then getting back up and chinning every one of them, that what’s makes me better than everyone here, since day one of my life I’ve clawed my way back up. It’s not losing that defeats a man its how he copes with the adversity that follows.
My opponents will learn that if one of them hits me with their ‘big moves’; you know the ones they practice and practice praying that it compensates for they lack of true ability… well lets say lightening does strike an’ they pull it off, whoever it is he better hook both legs, shoot the half and drop a safe on top because I’m getting back up with my blood boiling and rage in my heart.
I’ve forgotten more tricks than he’s ever known, the best teacher is experience and I’ve ‘ad the best, well I s’pose it depends on your perspective…
Demon has the height an’ Knoxville has the crazy ass skills but what do I bring to the dance? A little bit of this and a whole lot of kickass and I don’t need an 11 year old in purple wig to help me. Hit Girl made that movie. Yes I know that was last year sue me. I have a memory, one that hasn’t been fried by a steady diet of processed meat and X-box, or in Demonzz case horror films and bats blood.
As soon as I was old enough to look after me’ self I’ve looked after my body, I didn’t need to live out of Tesco’s skips, like me folks. In my line of work I had to but that’s a tale for another time.
I’ve turned into a bit of a rambler, this is more like a Sunday omnibus, ya know the one you watch on a Sunday morning when you’re still hanging from the night down the boozer.
Well I’ve always liked spinning a yarn; it’s my one weakness I guess everybody has to have their little bit of Kryptonite. Tommy and Demon are bound to have something I can utilise… aint they? F’ it if their aint I’ll make something no matter who is stood across from me I’m pretty damn sure that I can throw down with the best of them, I aint no MMA barbed wire ‘tatted up’ poser, my tatts were ‘ome made in the back of a pub while buzzed on cider.
Check me out spilling everything to the worldwide web. Show 'n tell aint my thing, I’ll leave that to the showboating giant and the no-showing Knox, I ‘eard ‘e seen less Osama, well before the Yanks stumbled across him while they were out looking for a McD’s in Pakistan and popped him. Rest in pieces ya bastard.
If; and I mean if Tommy shows up at Asylum, I’ll show ‘im what I’m about, I kick every single tattoo off his skinny fat ass, bet ya can guess the reference there well unless ya’ve been under a rock.. haha I’m so meta, whatever that is.
We’ll I’ve finally reached a rest stop and unless you wanna watch me take a leak I better wrap this up. It’s weird watching me’ self an’ gabbling on like a bird on a first date. But if me’ sponsor wants to foot the bill for a Johnny Brown fly-on-the wall that’s fine by me. All I want is a chance to beat up people and see the world; I don’t care about title belts.
I don’t chase Gold, its just takes up more room in my bag (where am I gonna put all my shit when I have a chunk of gold in there, I’d rather carry my wrist tape and my ice pack.) One man and his motorbike that’s what being a ‘True Brit’ is all about.
If ya aint got it yet viewers let my competition know, when anyone gets in me’ way a pair of Northampton’s finest size 12’s are gonna stomp you into the dirt.
I’m Johnny Brown an’ someone gonna get their f’n head KICKED IN!
I'd thought I’d try something different for my promo's, we've had blogs, vlogs, video messages all that breaking the barriers style stuff, well me... in true British fashion I'm going for a 'soap' style, I’ll be the narrator and for those that watch Easties, Corry or the like don't worry there isn't gonna be any incest, baby snatching or arson, although I hope to 'snatch' a few Hollyoaks style birds, if you'll excuse the pun. Any way since in the U.K. we don’t do that annoying previously on... bullcrap 24 started, an' cos their aint been any thing to be previous as it's my first dip into the APW pond lets get on with it.
That dude; looking cool as a cue; on the Triumph, is me.
Johnny Brown!
Getting my bike through customs was a pain in the arse but it was worth it, my baby is one of the few constants in my life, I built the bitch from scratch. Sorry babe, no foul you're a bitch in a good way.
Damn I’m talking to the bike again. Other than the squared circle this is where I feel most comfortable, wrapped in my black bomber, my DOT flat on my head and my 14 hole Air wares on the pegs.
My destination is the Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee, but as I have over a week before Asylum I may as well enjoy myself. I could get there a bit early and catch Death Cab for Cutie, well if they didn’t SUCK I would. The chicks in these small towns dig my accent, even if it’s a mis-mash of cockney, brum and good knows where else; thanks to my nomadic upbringing. To the squidlies in Hickville I may as well be Dick Van Dyke.
Watch this dick in a semi get pissed cos I overtook him… yeah screw you ya pig loving redneck…
With people like that considered the backbone of yer economy it’s no wonder this place is in such a state, what with the politicians ruining the world, they are the ones bending over for the banks and allowing mass immigration…
Before you get your panties in a bunch; this isn’t an' I hate foreigner’s cheap heat BS, it affects every country from the top down. If your country’s f’ed then fix it don’t run away and suck a different one dry. Do something positive, I’m dragging myself around this crapholes town across the once superpower called America to show that you just like Britain can be great.
If the truth hurts then stop listening now, you all know that your country is in a hole it can’t get out of, sure you blame the war on terror and everyone else you can pin blame on for your problems but it’s all of your faults.
You’ve all grown fat and complacent suckling at the governments teat, indulging yourself with no thought for the future, and now you stuck on your back, your weak limbs flailing at your sides, the gluttony that you gave into have clogged your mind with thick grease that stops you from thinking about how you got here.
Put down your guns, that your constitution allows you; which of course indirectly causes all of the shootings and gun crime that causes another black mark on your red, white and blue nation; the tale that I am weaving isn’t really any different that the one in my homeland or of many more across the world.
What the f’ does this have to do with wrestling? Something… perhaps nothing; maybe I’m talking in circles for shits and giggles. All aspects of life are filled with chancers and blaggers, in England it’s the chavs claiming benefits for children that don’t exist or injuries that never happened so they can buy a bigger teevee for their United Colours of Benetton children to watch Jeremy Kyle while they get high, in APW its my opponents this week masquerading as a Tommy Knoxville and The Demon… $hit is that really his name?
A gigantic beast of a man living on size and image, if he really the embodiment of evil or just a dude who wacked off to Elvira too much when he was a mere hellspawn? To me it don’t make no difference, I fight; it's what I do, it’s that bloody simple. He’s probably the favourite going into this but I'm cool with that.
If that means the big man and Tommy Knocker under estimate me it works in my favour. Demon debuted in impressive style last week; while I played in a park during my intro vid. Not exactly grim and foreboding is it? At least in my day there was a Witches Hat, those things were lethal but damn its better than springy malformed animals surrounded by rubber, kids get it too easy.
My opponents this week… they won’t get it easy, there aint nothing friendly about me. Sure, they’ll take what I have to say as empty threats and rhetoric but I wouldn’t expect it any other way. Are either of the punchbags I have been presented with; as tough as me?
No f’ing way, why don’t you try getting the piss beaten out of you for being a ‘gypo’ aged 7; then getting back up and chinning every one of them, that what’s makes me better than everyone here, since day one of my life I’ve clawed my way back up. It’s not losing that defeats a man its how he copes with the adversity that follows.
My opponents will learn that if one of them hits me with their ‘big moves’; you know the ones they practice and practice praying that it compensates for they lack of true ability… well lets say lightening does strike an’ they pull it off, whoever it is he better hook both legs, shoot the half and drop a safe on top because I’m getting back up with my blood boiling and rage in my heart.
I’ve forgotten more tricks than he’s ever known, the best teacher is experience and I’ve ‘ad the best, well I s’pose it depends on your perspective…
Demon has the height an’ Knoxville has the crazy ass skills but what do I bring to the dance? A little bit of this and a whole lot of kickass and I don’t need an 11 year old in purple wig to help me. Hit Girl made that movie. Yes I know that was last year sue me. I have a memory, one that hasn’t been fried by a steady diet of processed meat and X-box, or in Demonzz case horror films and bats blood.
As soon as I was old enough to look after me’ self I’ve looked after my body, I didn’t need to live out of Tesco’s skips, like me folks. In my line of work I had to but that’s a tale for another time.
I’ve turned into a bit of a rambler, this is more like a Sunday omnibus, ya know the one you watch on a Sunday morning when you’re still hanging from the night down the boozer.
Well I’ve always liked spinning a yarn; it’s my one weakness I guess everybody has to have their little bit of Kryptonite. Tommy and Demon are bound to have something I can utilise… aint they? F’ it if their aint I’ll make something no matter who is stood across from me I’m pretty damn sure that I can throw down with the best of them, I aint no MMA barbed wire ‘tatted up’ poser, my tatts were ‘ome made in the back of a pub while buzzed on cider.
Check me out spilling everything to the worldwide web. Show 'n tell aint my thing, I’ll leave that to the showboating giant and the no-showing Knox, I ‘eard ‘e seen less Osama, well before the Yanks stumbled across him while they were out looking for a McD’s in Pakistan and popped him. Rest in pieces ya bastard.
If; and I mean if Tommy shows up at Asylum, I’ll show ‘im what I’m about, I kick every single tattoo off his skinny fat ass, bet ya can guess the reference there well unless ya’ve been under a rock.. haha I’m so meta, whatever that is.
We’ll I’ve finally reached a rest stop and unless you wanna watch me take a leak I better wrap this up. It’s weird watching me’ self an’ gabbling on like a bird on a first date. But if me’ sponsor wants to foot the bill for a Johnny Brown fly-on-the wall that’s fine by me. All I want is a chance to beat up people and see the world; I don’t care about title belts.
I don’t chase Gold, its just takes up more room in my bag (where am I gonna put all my shit when I have a chunk of gold in there, I’d rather carry my wrist tape and my ice pack.) One man and his motorbike that’s what being a ‘True Brit’ is all about.
If ya aint got it yet viewers let my competition know, when anyone gets in me’ way a pair of Northampton’s finest size 12’s are gonna stomp you into the dirt.
I’m Johnny Brown an’ someone gonna get their f’n head KICKED IN!
