Post by Reaver on Nov 18, 2011 17:15:07 GMT -4
the 3rd rp for this PPV. hopefully ya read the first 2 before reading this 1. the first rp is the nightmare before lethal beatings. after u read that then its reindeer games. once those have been read, read this 1......enjoy!!
Epilogue:
Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, or simply "Santa", is a legendary figure who, in many Western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, December 24. The legend was derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas, which, in turn, may have part of its basis in hagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of gift giver Saint Nicholas. A nearly identical story is attributed by Greek and Byzantine folklore to Basil of Caesarea. Basil's feast day on January 1 is considered the time of exchanging gifts in Greece.
Santa Claus is generally depicted as a plump, jolly, white-bearded man wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots (images of him rarely have a beard with no moustache). This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast. This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, children's books and films. In the United Kingdom and Europe, he is often depicted in a manner identical to the American Santa Claus, but he is commonly called Father Christmas.
A well-known folk legend associated with Santa Claus says that he lives in the far north, in a land of perpetual snow. The American version of Santa Claus says that he lives at his house on the North Pole, while Father Christmas is often said to reside in the mountains of Korvatunturi in Lapland Province, Finland. Santa Claus lives with his wife Mrs. Claus, an unspecified but large number number of magical elves, and at least eight or nine flying reindeer. Another legend, popularized in the song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", says that he makes a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior ("naughty" or "nice") and that he delivers presents, including toys, candy, and other gifts to all of the good boys and girls in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the reindeer who pull his sleigh. Ever imagine what it would be like if this "Legend" was actually evil?
Scene:
The camera pans in on a family dinner around Christmas time. The dining room is decorated nicely with holiday ornaments as a soft Christmas melody plays in the backround. A gorgeous older brunette come walking from around the corner with a succulent turkey dressed as nicely as a picture in any magazine. She sets it at the table that's surrounded by the entire family, two older daughters; in their early twenties, the aunt in her early thirties, her uncle in his early thirties, the mother herself who is in her early fourties and the father who is in his late fourties, as their usual conversation gets a little roudy.
Taylor: I had better get a Kate Spade bag this year!
Beth: .....And none of that shopping chain store shit.
Gwen: Settle for nothing less than Prada girls.
Virginia: Gwen!! Don't be telling my kids that, i'm trying to teach them some values. You're gettin' Kate Spade.
The two girls look at each other and sigh after that comment mom just mentioned. Gwen just takes a deep breath and covers her lap with a napkin.
Jason: Hey, what does Gweny want from big ole' Santa?
Gwen: Just a faithful husband....
Jason: Tsst.
Virginia: HA HA HA, what's the second thing she wants?
Gwen looks at her sister with hateful eyes as they all look up at the father who is at the head of the table.
Dad: You know what i'm thinking angel?
Virginia: What darling?
Dad: I was thinking, Dear God; don't let this bird taste like a shoe like it did last year. Let it be tender and moist just for once....
Virginia: ...Yea MOIST, that WOULD be nice.......It's called FOREPLAY!!
Dad: I don't wanna' screw the bird, i wanna' eat it. I swear to you she dehydrated this bird from last Thanksgiving.
The family dog, which happens to be the size of a rat in NYC, hops up onto Taylor's lap and starts eating off the table. Dad gets up from the table to get more wine as Virginia starts giving Jason some of her "Potatoes". Her foot playing with his as he starts to get excited. Gwen looks on in confusion as Jason starts to slide his hand up Virginia's dress. She yelps with a smile on her face as he squeezes her inner thigh. Dad crawls to his face with anger in his eye and a fork in hand.
Dad: Listen you half a fag, i'll stick this fork in your eye. Why don't you beg Santa for a pair of balls.
Virginia: BETH!!......say grace.
Beth: Dear lord, Thank you for the bountiful food that you've provided for us and that our family can be together this Christmas. Also, thank you for not making us poor…………….. or Samoan.
Jason: Samoan?
Gwen: Shhh!
Beth: Thank you for Maxim Pharmaceuticals, the latest yoga class, and that those who are who are less fortunate; work harder...
Suddenly; there's a heavy thump coming from the chimney. The family looks on startled as the dog waddles over and starts yipping. The chimney starts to rumble as a pair of black boots stomp out the fire. A man busts through the chimney wall wearing red with a grey beard and some jerky hanging out of his mouth (hehe i snuck it in again).....It's .....Santa?
Beth: Hey! My stocking.....
Virginia: Santa?
Rogue Santa: Yes Virginia.....there IS a Santa Claus.
The rogue Santa looks down to see the rat (i mean dog) yipping at him so he gives it a good punt across the room as it hits the ceiling fan; spins back and flys past Santa's shoulder and into the chimney. The family looks on in shock as the dad gives a smirck at his actions. Santa spits out the jerky; flips onto the table with a pair of carving knives and pierces the dad's hands through the table making him stationary; at least for the moment. The all start to scream in fear as dad screams in pain. Santa screams at Taylor as she catches a whiff of his breath and faints; falling backwards in her chair and her head gets impaled on the dog's...something or other. Beth runs underneath the table as Santa takes a swig of the bottle wine.
Virginia: OH MY GOD, WHO ARE YOU!!? What are you doing?
Santa picks up the safety lighter and spits out the flammable wine using it as a blow torch to set fire to Virginia's hair. She screams in terror as the chemicals in her hair help engulf the flames. You want some? Jason yells as he stands up like an idiots pretending to know karate only to get kicked in the chest by Santa sending him flying into the glass shelf behind him knocking him out. Virginia continues to scream in pain as Santa comes off the table only to dunk her head into the eggnog. She flails her arms trying to escape only to lose her breath and drowning. Bether is still hiding under the table as Santa kicks up one of the wooden legs and into his hand.
Gwen: WAIT, I BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR....
Without hesitation, Santa whacks her in the head with the wooden table leg and she falls down. Beth tries to sneak out from under the table and makes a run for it through the front door. Santa just looks on and grabs the star on top of the tree and hurls it like a ninja catching her in the back of the neck and her lifeless body hits the floor. Santa looks over and sees the dad trying to use his teeth to take out the knives that's keeping him stationary. Santa walks over grabbing a turkey leg on his way only to jab it in the dad's mouth and slams his head face first into the table. Santa smiles and looks around at all the carnage he caused. He starts to walk out the front door only to catch a giant candy cane across the face. Santa stumbles back and who should walk in the front door but our old friend Johnny Knuckles!! (yaaaay me)
Knuckles: Looking to spread some yule tide fear eh? Not on my watch you sick fu.....oh.....
Knuckles looks around only to realize that he's too late. He shrugs his shoulders only to have Santa tackle him down as if he was Bill Goldberg hitting him with a spear or something. Knuckles fish hooks Santa in the mouth making him pull off and they stand toe to toe. Knuckles comes in with a few punches but Santa just laughs and dodges all of them. Knuckles throws a kick only to have Santa grab it and swing him around and letting him go face first into the Christmas tree. Santa walks over and picks Knuckles up and body slams him into the adjacent wall.
Rogue Santa: You think you can stop me from ruining Christmas? I didn't get my bonus and all those snot nosed little bastards get whatever they want regardless if they were naughty OR nice. I will make you all suffer....MUAHAHAHAHA!!
Knuckles: Christmas isn't about getting bonuses. It's about giving to those who don't have. Life sucks but you can't blame people for pety bullshit....
Rogue Santa: HA, watch me.
Santa walks out the front door, takes a nice deep breath with a smile on his face then suddenly hears, "HEE HAW" but doesn't know where its coming from only to catch a HUGE donkey punch from Knuckles from behind. Santa goes down as the police show up and pull out their guns. Knuckles throws up his hands and points inside the house.
Knuckles: He did all that in there, i was just stalling long enough til' you guys showed up.
Cop 1: We'll take it from here.
The cops arrest the rogue Santa and start loading him into the police car. Cops start to layout the yellow tape as Knuckles starts to walk down the street and the scene fades.
Disclaimer: This promo was brough to you by the movie "Santa's Slay".....no seriously, there's a movie called thats staring Bill Goldberg. watch the trailer.... . Alot of people were harmed in the making of this, but i think the dog getting punted was awsome.
Knuckles: It had to be done and SOMEBODY had to save Christmas. It's alot like how Dangertainment SAVED UWF from all the boring; useless talent. People like Tyrone Kidd and Ryan Blake. Who needs people like that? You sit there and sip on your egg nog without a care in the world but what if this was YOUR family huh? That's why i'm the Hardcore Champion here in UWF. Not because i eek by with mediocre abilities and a calm tone of voice. You might think i play games but incase you hadn't noticed, i'm a bad mother fucker. What i find funny is that somehow, Seasons Beating will bless three other people with a Hardcore Championship around their waists. Merry Christmas guys!!
The downside to it all is; their reigns will all end shortly and look embarassing to the company. Are these the contenders UWF has to offer? CWC and Roughcut would look at Glenn Legend and wonder, "This is how he runs his ship? This place sucks!!" Thus the reason i'm in the position i'm in. See gang, i wasn't handed my title shot, i earned it. Not only did i beat two guys who were "supposedly" the future of this company only to fall short after i crumbled their careers into candy cane dust, but then i beat the champ, Aguero, in a non title singles match then the week after in a match for the title. Here i am, months later still reigning supreme. Ya, someday my streak will end and i will lose my belt to a person who is more suiting. We will then go back and forth with title reigns until he get's sick of me kicking his ass and quits. I don't expect to be champ forever nor do i expect to be undefeated forever. I am what i am for the time being and until i'm thrown off that mountain peak, you all can lick my sack. For those of you who seem to think that things could be better if any of the other three were champ, lets have a quick look at the scenario shall we?
RIPPLE OF TERROR!!
Haley Hitch pins Johnny Knuckles, with the help of a few banana peels, winning her first title in UWF. All the feminist groups jump the guard rail in celebration of Haley winning the match. A month later, her face is horribly disfigured by a very angry Knuckles who smashes her face in shattered glass during their rematch. She realizes that the Hardcore division wasn't where she belonged and loses faith in herself. Her boyfriend, Jason Kash, could barely stand the site of her and has to pin a picture of Haley six months prior to the back of her head whenever they fuck. Her depression continues to grow to the point where Kash is so sick of her bullshit and kicks her to the curb. In a final act of desperation, she goes for it one more time only to fall short again. Then when her anti-depressants wear off cuz' she can't afford them any longer, she commits suicide........Not something anybody wants to see Haley.
Zanta pins Johnny Knuckles, with the help of some reindeer shit. (how the hell that get in the ring?) and celebrates winning his first title in UWF. Deformed Elves and midgets jump the guard rail in celebration of Zanta's match. A month later when nobody really cares about christmas anymore, is forced to drop the title due to the fact that Zanta wrestling in ANY match anytime after december just sounds fucking retarded. Zanta is long forgotten, falls into a deep depression and for reason, commits suicide.....something people wanna see but just not in fucking February.
Andy Titsuhiro pins Johnny Knuckles, with the help of some of Andy's own shit. (how the fuck that get in the ring?) and celebrates winning his first Hardcore Championship title EVER making him the only guy in UWF to have ever won them all. Nobody hops the guard rails because nobody really seems to care. A month later, the two old ladies from the supermarket brawl match notice that he's the new champ and immediately sign a UWF contract. Legend, being as giving as he is, Gives them the title shot and proceed to whoop his ass like they did before. He tries to pull out a Rocky-like comeback like he did against Clubber Lang in part 3 but to no avail, he fucks up again, falls a day late and another buck short and continues his losing streek ALL OVER AGAIN. Andy falls into a deep depression because he has nobody in his life, like a girlfriend, a pet, or even his sock puppet any longer now that he's not the champ and commits suicide.........something people dedicate a day out of the year for to watch over and over again.
You see what happens with you three? The business takes a turn for the worse not to mention how much more the world would suck. Not the suicide parts but the parts about any of you becoming Hardcore Champion. I was built for such things. You're probably wondering, "But Johnny, how could you possibly be 100% after that grueling match with Brad Jackson?" It comes with the territory guys. There will always be people, like you, who claim to be "HARDCORE" and can never understand what it TRUELY means. I've spent my childhood in a gutter. I've spent my adolescence hurting people for basic survival needs like food and shelter. Do you honestly think you can come into this match and think that it would ever be easy? Do you honestly think that you can carry the weight of the job title on your shoulders without crumbling? No matter where i go or what i do, there's always some sort of hook or angle to my matches that involved something violent. From the days of TCW, throughout the WWC tournaments, till' now. I carry a weight like no other, the weight of being called HARDCORE. None of you can exhibit the behavior i do nor do either of you have the capacity to be any where as close to as violent as i am. You think the Primetime title had a curse? Try living the life i live and tell me that it's easy. I've bled, i've made others bleed, i've done the unimaginable and almost damn near impossible. While you three bitches continue to argue who is gonna' walk out of Season's Beatings or Lethal Beating's or whatever anybody wants to call it, i will be getting my hand raised and walking away with MY title in hand.
Epilogue:
Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, or simply "Santa", is a legendary figure who, in many Western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, December 24. The legend was derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas, which, in turn, may have part of its basis in hagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of gift giver Saint Nicholas. A nearly identical story is attributed by Greek and Byzantine folklore to Basil of Caesarea. Basil's feast day on January 1 is considered the time of exchanging gifts in Greece.
Santa Claus is generally depicted as a plump, jolly, white-bearded man wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots (images of him rarely have a beard with no moustache). This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast. This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, children's books and films. In the United Kingdom and Europe, he is often depicted in a manner identical to the American Santa Claus, but he is commonly called Father Christmas.
A well-known folk legend associated with Santa Claus says that he lives in the far north, in a land of perpetual snow. The American version of Santa Claus says that he lives at his house on the North Pole, while Father Christmas is often said to reside in the mountains of Korvatunturi in Lapland Province, Finland. Santa Claus lives with his wife Mrs. Claus, an unspecified but large number number of magical elves, and at least eight or nine flying reindeer. Another legend, popularized in the song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", says that he makes a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior ("naughty" or "nice") and that he delivers presents, including toys, candy, and other gifts to all of the good boys and girls in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the reindeer who pull his sleigh. Ever imagine what it would be like if this "Legend" was actually evil?
Scene:
The camera pans in on a family dinner around Christmas time. The dining room is decorated nicely with holiday ornaments as a soft Christmas melody plays in the backround. A gorgeous older brunette come walking from around the corner with a succulent turkey dressed as nicely as a picture in any magazine. She sets it at the table that's surrounded by the entire family, two older daughters; in their early twenties, the aunt in her early thirties, her uncle in his early thirties, the mother herself who is in her early fourties and the father who is in his late fourties, as their usual conversation gets a little roudy.
Taylor: I had better get a Kate Spade bag this year!
Beth: .....And none of that shopping chain store shit.
Gwen: Settle for nothing less than Prada girls.
Virginia: Gwen!! Don't be telling my kids that, i'm trying to teach them some values. You're gettin' Kate Spade.
The two girls look at each other and sigh after that comment mom just mentioned. Gwen just takes a deep breath and covers her lap with a napkin.
Jason: Hey, what does Gweny want from big ole' Santa?
Gwen: Just a faithful husband....
Jason: Tsst.
Virginia: HA HA HA, what's the second thing she wants?
Gwen looks at her sister with hateful eyes as they all look up at the father who is at the head of the table.
Dad: You know what i'm thinking angel?
Virginia: What darling?
Dad: I was thinking, Dear God; don't let this bird taste like a shoe like it did last year. Let it be tender and moist just for once....
Virginia: ...Yea MOIST, that WOULD be nice.......It's called FOREPLAY!!
Dad: I don't wanna' screw the bird, i wanna' eat it. I swear to you she dehydrated this bird from last Thanksgiving.
The family dog, which happens to be the size of a rat in NYC, hops up onto Taylor's lap and starts eating off the table. Dad gets up from the table to get more wine as Virginia starts giving Jason some of her "Potatoes". Her foot playing with his as he starts to get excited. Gwen looks on in confusion as Jason starts to slide his hand up Virginia's dress. She yelps with a smile on her face as he squeezes her inner thigh. Dad crawls to his face with anger in his eye and a fork in hand.
Dad: Listen you half a fag, i'll stick this fork in your eye. Why don't you beg Santa for a pair of balls.
Virginia: BETH!!......say grace.
Beth: Dear lord, Thank you for the bountiful food that you've provided for us and that our family can be together this Christmas. Also, thank you for not making us poor…………….. or Samoan.
Jason: Samoan?
Gwen: Shhh!
Beth: Thank you for Maxim Pharmaceuticals, the latest yoga class, and that those who are who are less fortunate; work harder...
Suddenly; there's a heavy thump coming from the chimney. The family looks on startled as the dog waddles over and starts yipping. The chimney starts to rumble as a pair of black boots stomp out the fire. A man busts through the chimney wall wearing red with a grey beard and some jerky hanging out of his mouth (hehe i snuck it in again).....It's .....Santa?
Beth: Hey! My stocking.....
Virginia: Santa?
Rogue Santa: Yes Virginia.....there IS a Santa Claus.
The rogue Santa looks down to see the rat (i mean dog) yipping at him so he gives it a good punt across the room as it hits the ceiling fan; spins back and flys past Santa's shoulder and into the chimney. The family looks on in shock as the dad gives a smirck at his actions. Santa spits out the jerky; flips onto the table with a pair of carving knives and pierces the dad's hands through the table making him stationary; at least for the moment. The all start to scream in fear as dad screams in pain. Santa screams at Taylor as she catches a whiff of his breath and faints; falling backwards in her chair and her head gets impaled on the dog's...something or other. Beth runs underneath the table as Santa takes a swig of the bottle wine.
Virginia: OH MY GOD, WHO ARE YOU!!? What are you doing?
Santa picks up the safety lighter and spits out the flammable wine using it as a blow torch to set fire to Virginia's hair. She screams in terror as the chemicals in her hair help engulf the flames. You want some? Jason yells as he stands up like an idiots pretending to know karate only to get kicked in the chest by Santa sending him flying into the glass shelf behind him knocking him out. Virginia continues to scream in pain as Santa comes off the table only to dunk her head into the eggnog. She flails her arms trying to escape only to lose her breath and drowning. Bether is still hiding under the table as Santa kicks up one of the wooden legs and into his hand.
Gwen: WAIT, I BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR....
Without hesitation, Santa whacks her in the head with the wooden table leg and she falls down. Beth tries to sneak out from under the table and makes a run for it through the front door. Santa just looks on and grabs the star on top of the tree and hurls it like a ninja catching her in the back of the neck and her lifeless body hits the floor. Santa looks over and sees the dad trying to use his teeth to take out the knives that's keeping him stationary. Santa walks over grabbing a turkey leg on his way only to jab it in the dad's mouth and slams his head face first into the table. Santa smiles and looks around at all the carnage he caused. He starts to walk out the front door only to catch a giant candy cane across the face. Santa stumbles back and who should walk in the front door but our old friend Johnny Knuckles!! (yaaaay me)
Knuckles: Looking to spread some yule tide fear eh? Not on my watch you sick fu.....oh.....
Knuckles looks around only to realize that he's too late. He shrugs his shoulders only to have Santa tackle him down as if he was Bill Goldberg hitting him with a spear or something. Knuckles fish hooks Santa in the mouth making him pull off and they stand toe to toe. Knuckles comes in with a few punches but Santa just laughs and dodges all of them. Knuckles throws a kick only to have Santa grab it and swing him around and letting him go face first into the Christmas tree. Santa walks over and picks Knuckles up and body slams him into the adjacent wall.
Rogue Santa: You think you can stop me from ruining Christmas? I didn't get my bonus and all those snot nosed little bastards get whatever they want regardless if they were naughty OR nice. I will make you all suffer....MUAHAHAHAHA!!
Knuckles: Christmas isn't about getting bonuses. It's about giving to those who don't have. Life sucks but you can't blame people for pety bullshit....
Rogue Santa: HA, watch me.
Santa walks out the front door, takes a nice deep breath with a smile on his face then suddenly hears, "HEE HAW" but doesn't know where its coming from only to catch a HUGE donkey punch from Knuckles from behind. Santa goes down as the police show up and pull out their guns. Knuckles throws up his hands and points inside the house.
Knuckles: He did all that in there, i was just stalling long enough til' you guys showed up.
Cop 1: We'll take it from here.
The cops arrest the rogue Santa and start loading him into the police car. Cops start to layout the yellow tape as Knuckles starts to walk down the street and the scene fades.
Disclaimer: This promo was brough to you by the movie "Santa's Slay".....no seriously, there's a movie called thats staring Bill Goldberg. watch the trailer.... . Alot of people were harmed in the making of this, but i think the dog getting punted was awsome.
Knuckles: It had to be done and SOMEBODY had to save Christmas. It's alot like how Dangertainment SAVED UWF from all the boring; useless talent. People like Tyrone Kidd and Ryan Blake. Who needs people like that? You sit there and sip on your egg nog without a care in the world but what if this was YOUR family huh? That's why i'm the Hardcore Champion here in UWF. Not because i eek by with mediocre abilities and a calm tone of voice. You might think i play games but incase you hadn't noticed, i'm a bad mother fucker. What i find funny is that somehow, Seasons Beating will bless three other people with a Hardcore Championship around their waists. Merry Christmas guys!!
The downside to it all is; their reigns will all end shortly and look embarassing to the company. Are these the contenders UWF has to offer? CWC and Roughcut would look at Glenn Legend and wonder, "This is how he runs his ship? This place sucks!!" Thus the reason i'm in the position i'm in. See gang, i wasn't handed my title shot, i earned it. Not only did i beat two guys who were "supposedly" the future of this company only to fall short after i crumbled their careers into candy cane dust, but then i beat the champ, Aguero, in a non title singles match then the week after in a match for the title. Here i am, months later still reigning supreme. Ya, someday my streak will end and i will lose my belt to a person who is more suiting. We will then go back and forth with title reigns until he get's sick of me kicking his ass and quits. I don't expect to be champ forever nor do i expect to be undefeated forever. I am what i am for the time being and until i'm thrown off that mountain peak, you all can lick my sack. For those of you who seem to think that things could be better if any of the other three were champ, lets have a quick look at the scenario shall we?
RIPPLE OF TERROR!!
Haley Hitch pins Johnny Knuckles, with the help of a few banana peels, winning her first title in UWF. All the feminist groups jump the guard rail in celebration of Haley winning the match. A month later, her face is horribly disfigured by a very angry Knuckles who smashes her face in shattered glass during their rematch. She realizes that the Hardcore division wasn't where she belonged and loses faith in herself. Her boyfriend, Jason Kash, could barely stand the site of her and has to pin a picture of Haley six months prior to the back of her head whenever they fuck. Her depression continues to grow to the point where Kash is so sick of her bullshit and kicks her to the curb. In a final act of desperation, she goes for it one more time only to fall short again. Then when her anti-depressants wear off cuz' she can't afford them any longer, she commits suicide........Not something anybody wants to see Haley.
Zanta pins Johnny Knuckles, with the help of some reindeer shit. (how the hell that get in the ring?) and celebrates winning his first title in UWF. Deformed Elves and midgets jump the guard rail in celebration of Zanta's match. A month later when nobody really cares about christmas anymore, is forced to drop the title due to the fact that Zanta wrestling in ANY match anytime after december just sounds fucking retarded. Zanta is long forgotten, falls into a deep depression and for reason, commits suicide.....something people wanna see but just not in fucking February.
Andy Titsuhiro pins Johnny Knuckles, with the help of some of Andy's own shit. (how the fuck that get in the ring?) and celebrates winning his first Hardcore Championship title EVER making him the only guy in UWF to have ever won them all. Nobody hops the guard rails because nobody really seems to care. A month later, the two old ladies from the supermarket brawl match notice that he's the new champ and immediately sign a UWF contract. Legend, being as giving as he is, Gives them the title shot and proceed to whoop his ass like they did before. He tries to pull out a Rocky-like comeback like he did against Clubber Lang in part 3 but to no avail, he fucks up again, falls a day late and another buck short and continues his losing streek ALL OVER AGAIN. Andy falls into a deep depression because he has nobody in his life, like a girlfriend, a pet, or even his sock puppet any longer now that he's not the champ and commits suicide.........something people dedicate a day out of the year for to watch over and over again.
You see what happens with you three? The business takes a turn for the worse not to mention how much more the world would suck. Not the suicide parts but the parts about any of you becoming Hardcore Champion. I was built for such things. You're probably wondering, "But Johnny, how could you possibly be 100% after that grueling match with Brad Jackson?" It comes with the territory guys. There will always be people, like you, who claim to be "HARDCORE" and can never understand what it TRUELY means. I've spent my childhood in a gutter. I've spent my adolescence hurting people for basic survival needs like food and shelter. Do you honestly think you can come into this match and think that it would ever be easy? Do you honestly think that you can carry the weight of the job title on your shoulders without crumbling? No matter where i go or what i do, there's always some sort of hook or angle to my matches that involved something violent. From the days of TCW, throughout the WWC tournaments, till' now. I carry a weight like no other, the weight of being called HARDCORE. None of you can exhibit the behavior i do nor do either of you have the capacity to be any where as close to as violent as i am. You think the Primetime title had a curse? Try living the life i live and tell me that it's easy. I've bled, i've made others bleed, i've done the unimaginable and almost damn near impossible. While you three bitches continue to argue who is gonna' walk out of Season's Beatings or Lethal Beating's or whatever anybody wants to call it, i will be getting my hand raised and walking away with MY title in hand.
