Post by danquinn on Dec 29, 2011 21:47:45 GMT -4
Dan Quinn is standing backstage with an APW Interviewer, in the aftermath of Kid Dynamo’s phone-in interview
Interviewer: Ladies and Gentleman, I am here tonight with one of APW’s newest stars “The British Brawler” Dan Quinn. Now Dan, earlier tonight your war of words with Kid Dynamo reached new heights, do you see this feud manifesting itself into a match?
There is a pause as Dan stares down the interviewer
Dan Quinn: All this talking… talk, talk, talk. I’ve been here nearly a week and all I have been getting is the same attention seeking streak of piss blowing itself in my direction. This isn’t a war of words; this is the work of a bloody stalker. This is a man that has taken the trouble to watch my promos in depth, look into my contract and would probably look through and sniff my pants drawer as well. This is a wrestler who is so petrified of facing me one on one; he’s trying to run up the rungs of the ladder to Kash, just to avoid me. The same wrestler who is so desperate to avoid me, he is trying to convince my employers that I have no business being in the wrestling ring in a blind hope they’ll sack me. A man who is so shit scared of me, he cannot even wrap his head around the fact I use an elbow drop for a finishing move. Although if it’ll put your mind at rest, you flaccid sack of afterbirth, upon joining the wrestling industry I didn’t have a finisher because all my fights previous ended in knockouts, disqualifications or tap outs, I didn’t need wrestling moves. APW told me I needed a move set, so I just used the few basic moves I know, because, lets face it, I’m barely going to use them anyway. Now you might want to pull that copy of my APW contract from this shrine you seem to have built for me, and start focussing on the match that will more than likely be booked for next week, because I would like you to put up a bit of a struggle at least before I put your head through the canvas.
Interviewer: But are you not worried that your lack of wrestling ability and relative inexperience will put you at a disadvantage if you do end up facing a more experienced and technical wrestler in Kid Dynamo?
Dan Quinn: I’ve said it a million times now, but obviously you Americans are suffering with memory loss, due to the filth you put in your bodies on a daily basis, but I’ll say it again. No, I am not a wrestler. Yes, I am a rookie in that sense. Yes, Kid Dynamo is an experienced wrestler. No… I am not worried about a registered sex offender causing me any problems in the ring. What Kid Dynamo doesn’t understand is that all this talk is just going to make me that much more motivated to shove my fist down his throat, all this attention seeking is going to make it that much more satisfactory when I knock him off the radar. All I keep hearing is “Dynamo cut a promo on you”, “how about an interview, Dan?” I really don’t care about what this twat says about me, where he is saying it, or to who. All I need to know is the time, date and place of where I can kick seven shades of shit out of him. He is nothing to me but a fly that keeps buzzing around, and eventually, as soon as I get my moment…
Dan claps his hands together
Goodnight, Kid Dynamo.
Interviewer: One more question before you go. Dynamo has compared your style to the attitude era’s hardcore wrestlers, what is your response to that?
Dan pauses and laughs briefly to himself
Dan Quinn: A man fights with his hands, not with a weapon. My fists are my weapons of choice, they do my talking, and they prove my points. He shouldn’t be worried about a chair shot, he shouldn’t be worried about a sledgehammer, because I’ve got something a lot more personal in mind for Dynamo. I’m not the kind of guy to bring a knife to a gunfight…I’m the guy that’ll bring toilet paper to a nuclear war… and win hands down. He can try and analyse me, put me into statistics, work out my strategy, categorise my style, but it will all be useless figures by the time we’re in the ring. I’m not going into this to wrestle, I’m going for a fight, and for Kid Dynamo…
Mocking Kid Dynamo
“This is the End 0f the W0rld!”
Dan pushes the mic into the interviewer, spits on the floor and walks away
Interviewer: Ladies and Gentleman, I am here tonight with one of APW’s newest stars “The British Brawler” Dan Quinn. Now Dan, earlier tonight your war of words with Kid Dynamo reached new heights, do you see this feud manifesting itself into a match?
There is a pause as Dan stares down the interviewer
Dan Quinn: All this talking… talk, talk, talk. I’ve been here nearly a week and all I have been getting is the same attention seeking streak of piss blowing itself in my direction. This isn’t a war of words; this is the work of a bloody stalker. This is a man that has taken the trouble to watch my promos in depth, look into my contract and would probably look through and sniff my pants drawer as well. This is a wrestler who is so petrified of facing me one on one; he’s trying to run up the rungs of the ladder to Kash, just to avoid me. The same wrestler who is so desperate to avoid me, he is trying to convince my employers that I have no business being in the wrestling ring in a blind hope they’ll sack me. A man who is so shit scared of me, he cannot even wrap his head around the fact I use an elbow drop for a finishing move. Although if it’ll put your mind at rest, you flaccid sack of afterbirth, upon joining the wrestling industry I didn’t have a finisher because all my fights previous ended in knockouts, disqualifications or tap outs, I didn’t need wrestling moves. APW told me I needed a move set, so I just used the few basic moves I know, because, lets face it, I’m barely going to use them anyway. Now you might want to pull that copy of my APW contract from this shrine you seem to have built for me, and start focussing on the match that will more than likely be booked for next week, because I would like you to put up a bit of a struggle at least before I put your head through the canvas.
Interviewer: But are you not worried that your lack of wrestling ability and relative inexperience will put you at a disadvantage if you do end up facing a more experienced and technical wrestler in Kid Dynamo?
Dan Quinn: I’ve said it a million times now, but obviously you Americans are suffering with memory loss, due to the filth you put in your bodies on a daily basis, but I’ll say it again. No, I am not a wrestler. Yes, I am a rookie in that sense. Yes, Kid Dynamo is an experienced wrestler. No… I am not worried about a registered sex offender causing me any problems in the ring. What Kid Dynamo doesn’t understand is that all this talk is just going to make me that much more motivated to shove my fist down his throat, all this attention seeking is going to make it that much more satisfactory when I knock him off the radar. All I keep hearing is “Dynamo cut a promo on you”, “how about an interview, Dan?” I really don’t care about what this twat says about me, where he is saying it, or to who. All I need to know is the time, date and place of where I can kick seven shades of shit out of him. He is nothing to me but a fly that keeps buzzing around, and eventually, as soon as I get my moment…
Dan claps his hands together
Goodnight, Kid Dynamo.
Interviewer: One more question before you go. Dynamo has compared your style to the attitude era’s hardcore wrestlers, what is your response to that?
Dan pauses and laughs briefly to himself
Dan Quinn: A man fights with his hands, not with a weapon. My fists are my weapons of choice, they do my talking, and they prove my points. He shouldn’t be worried about a chair shot, he shouldn’t be worried about a sledgehammer, because I’ve got something a lot more personal in mind for Dynamo. I’m not the kind of guy to bring a knife to a gunfight…I’m the guy that’ll bring toilet paper to a nuclear war… and win hands down. He can try and analyse me, put me into statistics, work out my strategy, categorise my style, but it will all be useless figures by the time we’re in the ring. I’m not going into this to wrestle, I’m going for a fight, and for Kid Dynamo…
Mocking Kid Dynamo
“This is the End 0f the W0rld!”
Dan pushes the mic into the interviewer, spits on the floor and walks away
