Post by showtime on Apr 28, 2012 15:54:59 GMT -4
Backstage at a Meltdown taping, APW's newest dynamic duo, Team Terrific are strategizing.
'Smooth' Tommy Walker: I could wear feathers...
Or not.
'Masterpiece' Mike Hunter: No man. Just... no. I mean, what does it it even mean, "'Smooth' Tommy Walker"?
STW: It's like an homage. You know? Smooth Walker?
Mike shakes his head.
STW: From Dr. Detroit?
Mike's blank stare becomes blanker.
STW: Howard Hessman?
MMH: ...
STW: WKRP? Dr. Johnny Fever?
MMH: So... your gimmick is that you know guys who are doctors?
STW: No, I'm like a cool white pimp!
Hunter's foot lashes out, stopping at less than an inch from Walker's face.
MMH: I swear man, I love you like a sister, but if you go down that path, I'm giving your face a boot enema.
STW: Hey, you asked.
Hunter slowly puts his foot down, but lashes it back to Walker's face again to prove his point.
MMH: Seriously. Just let me do the gimmicking for the both of us.
Tommy shrugs and the Masterpiece returns to a two-legged standing position.
STW: Okay, so you're like the team captain then?
MMH: We are a team, Tommy. And there's no "I" in team.
STW: But...
MMH: And I swear, if you say 'There is are two "i's" in Team Terrific', it'll be you, face, foot, floor. Get it?
Tommy smiles and makes 'zipping my lip' pantomime.
MMH: Now onto brass tacks. What? Why are you laughing?
STW: 'Brass tacks'? Who talks like that, Mike?
MMH: I'm trying to bring it back. Consider it, my sister, if I can make a phrase work, it'll make me a mint in t-shirt residuals.
STW: I'd keep trying, Mike. Now as you were saying, what tacks of brass are we getting down to?
MMH: We have to figure out what we're doing against the Plow Boys in our big APW debut.
STW: Well I'd say we do the usual. You start, kick the living ass out of them, tag me in, I do something involving wrestling moves as well, we hit the Terrific Move, and one, two, three, a winner is us.
MMH: Simplistic, but pretty apt.
STW: That's me.
MMH: Yeah. 'A Winner is Us'? Huh. That might work as a team phrase...
STW: Hey! What do you mean 'my sister'?
Mike shrugs.
MMH: It's just something I'm trying out.
STW: Try harder. What do we know about these Plow Boys? They like a hillbilly duo?
Mike shrugs again.
MMH: Beats me. Maybe it's a euphemism for what their fighting style is. You know, 'plowing through them'?
STW: How do you do that?
Mike gives him a quizzical look.
STW: You know, speak in italics. OW!
This time Mike's foot stops a couple of inches past Tommy's face.
STW: What'd I say?
MMH: Okay, you don't talk anymore.
Tommy has a hurt look as he rubs the spot Hunter kicked him.
MMH: Quit whining, I hardly put anything behind it. That's why you can still do math and dress yourself.
STW: I could never do math.
Mike just shakes his head and walks off.
STW: What? What did I say?!
MMH: Dude. Duuuude.
We fade.
'Smooth' Tommy Walker: I could wear feathers...
Or not.
'Masterpiece' Mike Hunter: No man. Just... no. I mean, what does it it even mean, "'Smooth' Tommy Walker"?
STW: It's like an homage. You know? Smooth Walker?
Mike shakes his head.
STW: From Dr. Detroit?
Mike's blank stare becomes blanker.
STW: Howard Hessman?
MMH: ...
STW: WKRP? Dr. Johnny Fever?
MMH: So... your gimmick is that you know guys who are doctors?
STW: No, I'm like a cool white pimp!
Hunter's foot lashes out, stopping at less than an inch from Walker's face.
MMH: I swear man, I love you like a sister, but if you go down that path, I'm giving your face a boot enema.
STW: Hey, you asked.
Hunter slowly puts his foot down, but lashes it back to Walker's face again to prove his point.
MMH: Seriously. Just let me do the gimmicking for the both of us.
Tommy shrugs and the Masterpiece returns to a two-legged standing position.
STW: Okay, so you're like the team captain then?
MMH: We are a team, Tommy. And there's no "I" in team.
STW: But...
MMH: And I swear, if you say 'There is are two "i's" in Team Terrific', it'll be you, face, foot, floor. Get it?
Tommy smiles and makes 'zipping my lip' pantomime.
MMH: Now onto brass tacks. What? Why are you laughing?
STW: 'Brass tacks'? Who talks like that, Mike?
MMH: I'm trying to bring it back. Consider it, my sister, if I can make a phrase work, it'll make me a mint in t-shirt residuals.
STW: I'd keep trying, Mike. Now as you were saying, what tacks of brass are we getting down to?
MMH: We have to figure out what we're doing against the Plow Boys in our big APW debut.
STW: Well I'd say we do the usual. You start, kick the living ass out of them, tag me in, I do something involving wrestling moves as well, we hit the Terrific Move, and one, two, three, a winner is us.
MMH: Simplistic, but pretty apt.
STW: That's me.
MMH: Yeah. 'A Winner is Us'? Huh. That might work as a team phrase...
STW: Hey! What do you mean 'my sister'?
Mike shrugs.
MMH: It's just something I'm trying out.
STW: Try harder. What do we know about these Plow Boys? They like a hillbilly duo?
Mike shrugs again.
MMH: Beats me. Maybe it's a euphemism for what their fighting style is. You know, 'plowing through them'?
STW: How do you do that?
Mike gives him a quizzical look.
STW: You know, speak in italics. OW!
This time Mike's foot stops a couple of inches past Tommy's face.
STW: What'd I say?
MMH: Okay, you don't talk anymore.
Tommy has a hurt look as he rubs the spot Hunter kicked him.
MMH: Quit whining, I hardly put anything behind it. That's why you can still do math and dress yourself.
STW: I could never do math.
Mike just shakes his head and walks off.
STW: What? What did I say?!
MMH: Dude. Duuuude.
We fade.
