Evolve or Die #5: Keaton's Revolution

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Keaton Saint in
Evolve or Die #5: Keaton's Revolution

Stage Five: Enlightenment

Enlightenment.

The last and most difficult stage of personal growth to achieve. It's so difficult in fact, that to call it "enlightenment" is a mild stain on the task itself. Those who have achieved it find it hard to communicate just what this stage is and those who have yet to can only hope to achieve some semblance of understanding of it. In short it is akin to a foreign language, in terms of personal and professional growth this stage is very alien and very unknown to the vast majority of professional wrestlers.

Keaton Saint is not a majority, but like the majority he has been told on more than one occasion to aim for emergence in wrestling and no further. It simply wasn't enough for Keaton, his pride or his ego. If there was a higher stage to ascend to, he would always attempt to make it. The explanations he received were just as foreign to him as to others but his curiosity was never sated in the same way, eventually Keaton grew to forge an understanding of some kind with it and it is this which fuels him in the present day.

Belief is a strong element of personal growth and something Keaton Saint is not short on, this has been reinforced by his own career and by certain events that have pushed him into evolving at a higher rate that even he initially expected. From a sleeping piece of potential to someone waking up to said potential. Adapting, changing and transforming himself to better represent his own moral compass and the belief in professional wrestling he clings to. Emerging as a wrestler in more ways than one, emerging at such a rate that by reaching it he had left one goal to accomplish. Surely as someone who could go through the stages as fast as he could, enlightenment was a possibility?

What Keaton has learnt to understand is that his accomplishments up until now haven't reached the peak of the final stage, he is not enlightened. Few things have eluded him since his debut but enlightenment is one of those few, with that knowledge considered a personal fact Keaton has been able to unearth his own ideals of what enlightenment within professional wrestling could mean. To him, it cannot be title reigns or contenderships, if only for the fact that he's known the weight of both over his time in the ring. Nor can it be wrestling at his physical best whenever he can, Keaton lives and dies by this sword but recognises that it has not enlightened him to the truth of wrestling. The fans, the commentators, the money and many other factors have all played a part in uncovering Keaton's truth, none of them however have been the piece of enlightenment that Keaton Saint has craved ever since he heard of the concept.

Questions about it remain, not just from him but from others. The questions are composed of threads that can only be untangled by one with the strength of will to do it. The questions are brothers with difficulty and opposed to ease.

Is it harmony within oneself? The ability to sow discord among others? Is it more than a singular aspect? Is the truth something altogether different? Is the truth even a solid fact? Each of these questions requires an answer, the answer must hold weight when tested against other facts and the answer must be strong enough to stand as a truth.

Like many nuggets of truth, this one is a simple one. Test for the Best holds the answers for Keaton Saint and it holds the chance for him to emerge even further in wrestling, perhaps even break through that final stage and become an enlightened soul.

Keaton Saint marches and the march is towards his own fate.

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The Fist of Justice

There are two things I remember most about Johnny Knuckles.

The first is what could be a title for his autobiography, "Donkey Punching Bastard." What I remember there is what many people could tell you about the man, he hits hard and he hurts like hell on a bad day. And like the Donkey Punch itself you just don't see it coming until it has happened. Johnny Knuckles is that incarnate, few people truly realise what he's capable of until he's done it and even then they find difficulty believing. It's so jarring and so different that it pushes beyond the limits of the norm. Johnny Knuckles' great weakness in this area is that I think even HE is truly unaware of just what he can do until it's happened. Until he reaches his own apex, he can't move beyond it. Until that happens he'll just be climbing hills rather than mountains.

The second thing I remember about Johnny Knuckles is that same potential I knew existed within me a long time ago, whilst some would say I've yet to fully reach mine I feel that more would say this about Johnny Knuckles. Because maybe my accomplishments in the Experts and CWC have gone beyond what he's done but Johnny Knuckles is more of a foundation to APW than I could ever hope to be. The potential he has in unparalleled to the extent that he is a paragon in his own right, he is and he CAN be that man. But not yet, not now and certainly not if he ends up facing me. What we're looking to achieve ultimately differs enough that the advantages I hold right now can't be overcome unless Knuckles makes a change I can't adapt to. Until then, I have proof and self-belief that tells me that I can go beyond him regardless of his potential.

I'm here for proof of my own existence and the chance to create enigmatic and timeless moments. Johnny Knuckles is here to recapture something he never thought he had. In a strange way, both of our goals are as real AND as false as the other. We're both searching for something that is both tangible and untouchable. We cannot see it, only feel it. It is that feeling we seek to capture of recapture in order to advance to our highest potential. However if I am filled with one thing it is the fact that I believe my potential is higher than what Johnny Knuckles can achieve and that his best will fall below what I can do in the ring.

Johnny Knuckles' greatest moment of advantage over me came after a match and it came because my eyes were on another. To face Johnny Knuckles would be to actually FACE him, instead of being on the receiving end of a Donkey Punch I can finally put that moment to rest and prove that on equal terms I am the better wrestler. No matter what has happened to either of us before or since, my mind always goes back to that moment. It was something that we never resolved and it has been on my mind since. Resolution can be hard to come by in wrestling, but it is made more jarring by the fact that Johnny Knuckles has only ever been a short hop to the Asylum away.

It might be his territory but since I've never lost on those grounds I could always make the jump. But Test for the Best is on as neutral a ground as any, the Switzerland in comparison to our homes. Neutral territory, equal terms and one very important ring of the bell would be all it takes for me to go for Knuckles with everything I have. I would do this because he deserves my best in the same way that John Dionysus, Terry Marvin, Sally Talfourd and everyone in APW does. He deserves to know if he can beat Keaton Saint at his best and I deserve to see what I can do against him.

To face Johnny Knuckles would not be vengeance, it would be justice.

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To Face a Happy Ending

Last year, we were New Experts.

This year, that has begun to feel like a piece of history best left unvisited. We still wrestle for similar causes and as people we're on the alignment but what the New Experts represented is of that one time and place. We were compatriots and allies in a war that took the most out of everyone involved. What it did was help us forge something important, a rare sense of kinship in the sport.

I wouldn't call it a friendship since having friends in a combat sport like this where you could be opposing them at any point can be a huge detriment. But it is something of worth, it's of enough worth that I could be able to allow myself to work for her benefit. When her party asked what APW meant, I answered the call with my truth. It wasn't packaged, it wasn't held back in any way. What the fans saw in the end was a taste of what I said but what I said was the unadulterated truth. In the end, being able to forge something with Sally Talfourd that enables her to accept my truth means something.

It also means that if there is anyone I cannot afford to lose a step against it is her. There is nobody who knows me as much in one way as Terry Marvin does, as an antagonising presence he has been unparalleled in the way he has been since our first encounter. Terry Marvin's knowledge in that area is beyond measure but Sally Talfourd knows about me in a whole different way. Our shared experience in the New Experts taught her more about me than I have perhaps let in my entire career. It allowed and continues to allow her to crack jokes that we can both laugh at, it allows her to know my perspective. At Test for the Best it could allow her to use that against me to win the whole tournament. I'm not scared of it, but I am very much aware of what she can do.

It is that awareness that takes me beyond her usual fare of opposition and into a unique area. Sally Talfourd fights oppression in her own way but our shared cause could still put us in opposition at Test for the Best. Neither of us is an oppressive force to the other but what we represent in something that could be deemed more dangerous. Like stars to a common stargazer we are enough alike to both be called part of the same cluster, we are aligned in our own ways and that alignment makes this potential match all the more important. It's the first time, perhaps the only time that we can be truly compared in an explicit way rather than a general one.

Sally Talfourd has a story to tell and she would tell this to those who would listen, we've been in some of the same matches and the same situations with one significant difference. She has mostly gone further than me in all of these matches and situations, in fact it may still be all of them. When you consider this goes as far back as Survive & Conquer last year then you realise there's a lot of history involving us, a lot of history that needs to be given something of true worth. A true match between us to determine the better wrestler.

And it would be so, a better wrestler would be the only person able to succeed in a match between Keaton Saint and Sally Talfourd. The war cry from both sides is that they are one of the few who live and breathe professional wrestling, it may even be true. Sally Talfourd is a strong individual, I've learnt that even without being around her. She exudes an aura unmatched by the vast majority of wrestlers I've seen and been with, when the New Experts was formed I always remember shaking my head at the name but she was right because it made a more direct impact than any other name could. It could only come from the mind of a leader, which is what she is. But a leader can't fight the same wars as a soldier, the soldier sees every ounce of blood and sweat from the war whilst the leader just has an incomplete idea.

There are differences between us, some give her an advantage over me and one in particular is something I feel lends me a greater chance to defeat her. Sally Talfourd likened APW to a living and thriving company just before Rasslemania, for some that would be a great answer to explain what APW means but for me it's something that falls below my vision. APW may be a company, it may sell tickets to thousands of raving fans but to me it shall always be a medium with which I can paint a masterpiece. The APW ring is my canvas, the most lucid canvas that I could ever be given the chance to paint on and my wrestling, my style and my spirit is the art form that delivers through the medium of APW. I'm here to create something, not protect it. Prevention is better than the cure and I fully believe creation is better than protecting what has already been. Wrestling has a glorious history, APW is one of the few rings that allows us to transcend history and create timeless moments. This is my path and my goal, it puts me beyond Sally Talfourd because whilst she protects, I aim to create something greater than what has come before.

In the end, Sally Talfourd would give herself the best chance of defeating me if she ignored everything she knew about me. Her knowledge is a double-edged sword because it flies in the face of what she lives for. For a woman and a wrestler who seeks for the best outcome in professional wrestling she has to know, she has to have some idea that I would be the one who would make the most of winning Test for the Best, I would accomplish the greater goal for the greater good. That knowledge is something that she would perhaps deny until the crucial moment, a slip or a mistake would lead to her knowing at that moment that Keaton Saint can march on further than she dares. For her to forget what she knows about me is the antithesis of her being, but it is her greatest chance for victory.

If I face Sally Talfourd, there will be a happy ending.

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A Representation

I don't have much to say on Mike Morrison.

I wish I did because it would make speaking about him a lot easier, the truth is I broke one of the cardinal rules I have before going into a big PPV spectacle like this. I sat down and watched his propaganda piece. I sat down and allowed that to influence what I'm about to relay to you all now. I've always tried to adhere to a simple principle, state what you have and do it free from as much bias and influence as purely possible. Truth needs an outlet that is without equal and without a stain, truth needs a representative who can rather than a face of a habitual liar like Michael Callahan. I broke all that when I sat down and watched how Mike Morrison told the world that he was easy to hate.

The funny thing is that he's right. For some people he would be exceptionally easy to hate, he's arrogant and puts it across like he represents the most extreme side of sanity when in fact, he is simply like many before him who felt the need to pursuit greatness by demoting everyone else. Mike Morrison is easy to hate because of things like that, because he was born in a cesspool like Soho. That won't reach out to a lot of people but to those who know, they know exactly what I mean when I say Soho is easy to despise. Soho gives birth to the Mike Morrisons of the world, but that just makes him an easy target to hate.

Easy to hate, but I don't hate him. I don't hold a grudge of any kind against him. In a pool of wrestlers who pose a threat I have to evaluate those who I have had real dealings with rather than implied perception. I sat down and watched Mike Morrison spout everything he could, but I did not feel his influence because Mike Morrison is not an influential man.

He is a wrestler, he is an opponent and he is deemed worthy enough to pursue the great goal of being a contender. What he isn't is Keaton Saint, what he cannot be is a Paragon.

And that is why the man considered easy to hate will be easy by comparison to defeat. To face him would be an affirmation of my cause and I would march towards becoming the best in APW.

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No Lackey

Chaz Dillinger is many things. In the same breath I can also say he is not many things as well.

He is a wrestler, he is not a man without limits. He is a man no longer bound by his previous deeds, but he is a man who is not free of his previous acts of being a lackey to someone as broken as Nathaniel Havok. When Chaz Dillinger looks in the mirror and sees a disappointed truth staring back at him, it's because he knows that every second he wasted until he ended Havok was something that could've been used to further his own goals.

Perhaps that is his greatest strength, in the race to the top we are looking at a man who fell behind and feels the need to use a rocket to propel himself forward. Sadly, this is not a race but a competition and the rules aren't just about who has the speed to win. It takes guts, more guts and tenacity than I ever saw from Nathaniel Havok and more than I'm ever likely to see from Chaz Dillinger.

Because this is a man who had to wait until someone else was at his weakest to assert his dominance, this is a man who took the definition of a baby step when he decided it was time to remove Nathaniel Havok from the equation. This is a man who has yet to prove to HIMSELF what it truly means to be a professional wrestler, until that happens he's just going to be a man responsible for demoting others. Revolution or no revolution.

That's not to say Chaz Dillinger hasn't made his own strides. He is his own man, he is no subordinate or submissive to another. He is Chaz Dillinger representing Chaz Dillinger at last but in every day of every week I can be sure that he is haunted by the idea that he was once someone that belonged to another. His goals were not his own and his truth was non-existent. Chaz Dillinger is similar to the Johnny Rebels and Level Ones of this world, he'd sell his soul and forget to realise until later on just what he did.

Chaz Dillinger is part of Test for the Best but he's not one I believe shall test me in the same way that Sally Talfourd or Johnny knuckles will. When I look at Chaz Dillinger I see a man and a wrestler ?I can defeat, moreso than other foes I have faced in my career.

Even then I haven't address the most important part of all of this. Chaz Dillinger is a capable man, but he is not dominant. Chaz Dillinger has the potential to defeat me in the ring, but I won't allow him that victory.

I am Keaton Saint and the only revolution I want to join is my own.

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July 8th 2012: Keaton's Revolution

I didn't realise how important of a night this was until I looked back and realised that this was the night four years ago.

Four years ago seems forever away but I'm still able to look at the shade of that past because Level One is only a few steps away from me. Time passes and we all change but what I can't divert from is the fact that in 2008 I was given the chance to start the journey to becoming what I am today. I was given the chance to go further than my current self and especially since that night, I have been thankful for what I have been given.

And I am thankful, because up until now I've never truly put out an explanation for just how important this date is. Everything I had done before was training, everything I have done since has been elevating but on that night I endured a revelation and a revolution. Level One showed me a true face a wrestling and what I have strived to stay away from becoming, the revolution was what I chose to become since. But it could've all been so different, in another time and place Keaton Saint could still be training, waiting for the moment of inspiration. If it wasn't for four years ago, I would not be here and I would not be on the cusp of achieving a feat on a very important date, four years on from my professional debut.

Sometimes I feel like an actor receiving an award and getting ready to thank God. It's a similar moment for me as I'm about to receive the greatest honour a wrestler could be given, the chance to become a legend in his own life. But I don't thank God, I leave that for those who believe that they've been given something by an entity who remains nameless and unseen. Who I thank are the people who exist, they have the proof of that existence etched into their bodies and they are the true wrestler of our generation. I have to thank them because they made Keaton Saint real, they made me a legitimate professional wrestler in an age when that seems to be a losing side. And what I am about to face could give me the chance to become a thanked one in someone else's lifetime.

There's a wildcard, an ally, a new foe and one of my greatest antagonists. There's a person I can share war stories with, a man who could experience a war with me and two men who could prove to be greater foes than I can possibly be aware of. These are the obstacles I face as a wrestler and as a man, these are the tests IU must endure to prove what I already believe is possible.

To prove that no man, no woman and no professional wrestler in this sport is better than the Patron Saint of wrestling. To prove that the Paragon is more than a name, it is a statement of intent. To prove that Keaton Saint is a man beyond the measure of the majority, beyond the petty and selfish and exceeding the expectations of the world. To prove that I have evolved from an apprehensive debutante into a confident, assured and efficient athlete.

I am Keaton Saint, in four years I have grown to the point that I am considered one of the best wrestlers of my time. On this one night, I shall do every I can to kickstart a revolution. Maybe then, everyone can truly BELIEVE in what they're capable of.

Until then, this Saint will march.