Post by Jake Titan on May 6, 2013 0:04:27 GMT -4
It’s a wonderful night somewhere in downtown Tornoto, Jake Titan is dressed in a fine suit… that is bright orange. The young woman we saw him with last time, known only as Lacey sat across from him. They’re sharing a surf and turf dinner, talking and enjoying a bottle of Pinot Noir with their meal. The scar on Jake’s forehead is covered with a TERRIBLE looking wig, a wig that is so bad that even a first grader knew it was fake. On the other hand, we have Lacey looking elegant in a red dress. Despite her partner’s outrageous appearance, she was enjoying herself. Even several of the busboys took notice of the hilariously dressed Jake.
Leaning over the table, Lacey smiled saw Jake mimic her movement. “What’s wrong Jake? Is something on your mind, sweetie?”
Was something on his mind? Of course there was something on his mind. Action Packed Wrestling’s Original Gangsta, Jake Titan always had something on his mind and he could easily run off at the mouth saying whatever Jake had to. “Yea’, I gotta lotta shit I wanna talk about.”
Jake’s voice was low, even though it was finer dinner, McLovin’ still had difficulty controlling his anger and his mouth. But here we have Lacey, the young woman sat there and simply listened to Jake and all his gripes even though he was rather rude and crude with his terminology. Knowing the kind of man he is and what job line Jake does, she was more than prepared for what would eventually happen with her and him.
“Why don’t you tell me about it? What’s getting you so angry, hun?” Lacey asked taking a sip of her wine.
“Yea’ I’m angry. First I got my fight wit’ Tommy Knoxville but like always Tommy had someone else win his match for him. I had that match wit’ his ho and I had dat match wit’ him, but guess what happened? He had to find someone else to win his fight’s fo’ him. The two of them can say whatever they want but it doesn’t mean shit. It’s a hollow win ‘cause they couldn’t do it without two or three people helpin’ dem out. Ya two are a buncha bitches and da entire world knows it.” Taking his time, Jake broke the shell of his lobster with his bare -hands; clearly he was trying to release some of his anger and stress. What better way to do that than to break something?
On the other hand, his lady company was using a Lobster cracker that the restaurant provides. “I’m strong and all but I’m not going to do that. Why don’t you put that to a little bit of use and choke some sense into Foul Play or NightmareVille? I mean they have it coming to them, don’t then?” She asked.
“Yea’ dey got it coming to dem. Dis week I gotta take on Da Trust and Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin… again. I’m willing to bet, if da Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jennings, a cat who is pretty fuckin’ cool I might add, lose it ain’t gonna be da right way. Some fuckin’ fucker will get deir face in the wrong fuckin’ place and it’ll happen to be dat da better team will lose.”
Lacey took a drink of her wine, Jake mimicked her movements again but also took a bite out of a bread roll. “I’m telling you, another week that fuckin’ asshole Tommy Knoxville walked away ‘cause he couldn’t win a fight on his own. A man can stand his fight and win it by himself. He ain’t no fuckin’ man, he needs to just shove a feather duster up his ass and call himself a chicken cause dat’s what he is. He’s a fuckin’ chicken and he couldn’t beat me without having someone save his wimpy little ass.
“Den we got his stupid fuckin’ friends Foul Play puttin’ their noses where it don’t belong. And that would be ANYWHERE near da Natural Born Killaz business. But you know what? I got his ass, I got Fowl Plays ass, and I got Niobe Martin’s ass. If Da Trust ain’t smart, which I thinkin’ dey is, den they’d make sure not to fuck up like dey did last week and attack my partner’s wife. I don’t go out to the bus stops and slap the dicks outta Reaver, Kash and Lively’s mouths. Those fuckin’ slugs need to watch out, Imma gonna drop a bucket a salt on dem and make sure they ain’t gonna do it again.”
“Whoa, you need to calm down. Something happen? I didn’t have a chance to watch Meltdown.” Lacey said as concern was in her voice as she was worried about Jake Titan.
“Ya want to really know? Shit hit da fan is what happened. I lost my match ‘cause Niobe’s brains ain’t in her head. Her boobs are bigger than her brain, she got involved in my match that I had won and got her man the win because he was out matched by Jake Titan in every way, shape and form. Den Fowl Play had to try and some shit wit’ Leon’s wife. I know da Natural Born Killaz be makin’ enemies everywhere we go. We don’t give a shit dem and we don’t give a shit ‘bout who we pissed off. But when you take someone who doesn’t fight, another man’s wife mind you, you fuckin’ signed your death warrant. Hold on, I gotta get this all off my chest.”
Jake took a deep breath and sat up, he looked directly at Lacey. “You know what? For far too God damn long, Tommy “Da Pansy Little Bitch” Knoxville and Niobe “I Wear Da Pants” Martin have been a fuckin’ thorn in our ass for too god damn long. Now we got Foul Play and The Trust getting up in our asses up in dis bitch. I gotta lotta shit to say ‘bout dem cats ‘n’ NightmareVille but I gotta keep dis in sight.
“Fowl Play attacked da us wit’ Tommy Knoxville. But we got dem, da Natural Born Killaz got dem jist not dis week. I wanna talk ‘bout Evan McDonald, who had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. Two times me and you have fought in the ring. Two times, I beat yo’ ass ‘n’ you had nothing to say or do about it. I remember back at da Super Show, your punk us was wit’ Kevin Dahlia. Some rich boy and someone who was forgettable, The Natural Born Killaz killed yo’ chance at the Tag Team Championships back then and we kept on winnin’. It took yo’ confused ass time but ya finally found yo’ way. March da eleventh, ya had to fight ME one on one.
“We had to fight again; you came at me harder ‘n’ betta. Ya pushed me to my limits but even then you couldn’t beat me. This time, I had to work my Pimp Hand on you before ya finally got the idea that you couldn’t beat me. It’s been over a month, I hope this time you’re ready to fight me again because if ya come at me wit’ yo’ punk ass from a few months ago, den ya punk ass is going to get beat. You’ve been getting’ better but you ain’t getting’ betta enough. I’ve been keeping my eyes on yo’ but ya jist ain’t getting’ good enough.
“Now I wanna look at his parter, Ellis Graham… cracker. That’s all you are to me, you’re just a treat dat little kids eat when dey behave. You’re just another spoiled white boy. What does you know about having it hard? Not a damn thing. You likely were waited on yo’ entire life, have a fear of success and an equally small pecker to match!” A low blow and a quick laugh, Jake Titan was easily amused.
“I ain’t know what to say ‘bout cho ass. All dem rich white folks like flockin’ togetha. But it ain’t meanin’ ya can beat Jennings, Roberts and Titan. All da monay ‘n’ ya still be walkin’ in da ring, ya’ll ain’t ghetoo. Ya’ll ain’t gangsta, ya’ll ain’t even tough! Ya guys are a couple of soft white guys, who got served hand ‘n’ foot. I work for a livin’ but ya’ll don’t need to from what I heard. Fact remains, the two of you are trying harder and harder but I’m afraid, my man Leon Roberts, myself Jake Titan, ‘n’ Michael Jennings, is just fire right now. We’ve beaten rich preppy shits like you two cats before, and we’re going to do it again. I don’t care how much fuckin’ money dat da two of you have. You ain’t going to pay yo’ way to da tag team titles. The Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jennings are commin’ into Meltdown and we be leavin’ as da winners.
“I ain’t sayin’ dat ‘cause I’m arrogant ‘n’ shit. I’m saying dat as I know dat’ll happen, Michael Jennings is gunna be da number man on Meltdown, the APW North American Champion as soon as we win da Tag Team Championship. I’ve made it a habit to beat you’re the ass of Evan McDonald, who had a farmer. E-I-E-I-O, and on his farm he had a duck. E-I-E-I-O, mother fucker, the Natural Born Killaz ain’t afraid of you and we ain’t afraid of all the damn monay in da world. Hell if you asses ain’t smart enough, I’ll probably help ya spread da wealth. I mean all dat money must be burnin’ a hole into yo’ pocket, if you’re throwin’ da money around why don’t ya spread da wealth. I ain’t gonna be easy on your rich ass, and I definitely ain’t gonna be easy on yo’ partner’s ass either. I beat him like da ho he is in tag team action, I beat him like a two dolla’ hoe in one on one action and I’ll beat him wit’ a new tag team partner. I can promise you that.”
Jake grabbed some pepper and sniffed it. Sure enough as anyone else who sniffed pepper, Jake’s face showed pain and anger to match. His eyes were bloodshot, face sweating, eyes twitching, then the contortion of his face. However, the internal fight inside of him proved successful: Jake Titan could not sneeze. Instead he looked at Lacey.
“Sorry, old habits die hard ‘n’ I use to be a coke mule. Not the proudest days of my life and they’re definitely days I wouldn’t willingly want to relive even though we are in South America, home of some of The Lady, ya know the best White Pony that money can buy. I’m off coke thanks to someone for switching my last ditch cache on me. But I’ll tell you what I’m not off, Niobe Martin and Tommy Knoxville.
“Those mother fuckers have been up my fucking ass for a long ass time. I’m tired of them, and I’m tired of their shit. I’ve already sent several emails to President Jeff and Sienna… whatever her name is, Yamcha-face! Sienna Yamcha-face, our GM HAS to have read my numberous emails I send her way and I betta get a fuckin’ answa I expect. But let me put it this way, if she ain’t a dumb bitch, shit will be heatin’ up soon for Meltdown as da Natural Born Killaz will be puttin’ da end of da chapter wit’ Tommy Knoxville and Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin.
“Tommy Knoxville, like I called it. Your fuckin’ punk ass cannot fight alone, it cannot win alone, and neither can yo’ ho. I was controllin’ dat match, I was whoopin’ dat ass, I was tappin’ dat ass, then some igly-“
“Igly? What’s that?” Interrupted Lacey.
A low, barely audible chuckle is heard coming from Jake. “Igly is the final form of Ugly, after Oogli of course. Tommy Knoxville’s igly fuckin’ mug had da get involved in my match and win it for his bitch, Niobe Martin. Now dat white skank be goin’ round talkin’ mad shit like she got da best of da Natural Born Killaz’s Jake Titan. You didn’t do shit, you won ‘cause yo’ man won the match fo’ you. You won ‘cause Tommy Knoxville wanted to shoot his two loads if salt from his yogurt cannon down yo’ mouth, ‘n’ he won fo’ yo’ ‘cause ya just ain’t good enough to be. Dat’s why we’ll find out of Sienna Yamcha-face when she tells yo’ punk asses da truth ‘bout Mayhem. Ya ain’t gonna like it. Ya never will like it.
“So while I went off da track and had to beat da broken horse known as Tommy Knoxville again, I’m going to say dis. You won’t beat me this week, you can bring Tommy Dick-in-my-ass-ville, Reapin’-my-jizz-in-my-face, Michael Livin’-at-my-parents-home ‘n’ Justin Kash wit’ you, da Natural Born Killaz ain’t fuckin’ scared of any of you. We’ll beat dem all like stupid bitches dey be. Fowl Play ain’t shit, da Trust ain’t shit and NightmareVille ain’t shit. I ain’t afraid of money, I ain’t afraid of a hack Grand Slam Champion. I ain’t have shit to my name and I can admit dat but I ain’t intimidated and I know Leon Robet’s ain’t intimidated and I know for fact dat Michael Jenning’s ain’t afraid of ya’ll either.
“I’m going to take dat Reality Championship ‘n’ I’m gunna shove it up yo’ Graham Cracker. Because I ain’t remember you doin’ shit to deserve any championship. As a matta of fact, Imma call myself ‘n’ Leon Roberts da “Baddest Sons of Bitches, Dat Be Pimpin’ Yo Mama” Champions… yea’ I gotta work on dat name. Because da way I see it is dat since you ain’t done shit to deserve it, it just means yo’ an undeservin’ champion, even your Chicken Fuckin’ Friends, Fowl Play if ya ain’t caught on, dey deserve a championship more den yo’ ass. Da Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jenning’s are gonna give yo’ ass a Reality Check. Ya ain’t gonna like it because dat bitter pill known as defeat is going to cum in yo’ mouth like yo’ daddy and yo’ gonna have to enjoy it.
“Know what? Dis is runin’ my fuckin’ night. Tommy Knoxville, I swear to fuckin’ God. If you show your ass anywhere near ring side, I’m going to knock yo’ ass out with a baseball bat, shave you bald, cover you in peanut butter ‘n’ leave yo’ ass in some back alley with a one dolla’ sale sign on you ‘cause yo’ ain’t no man. Speaking of not being a man, Niobe: Fuck you, I’m going to beat you two times harder and three times harder dis time because yo’ dumbass keeps puttin’ in da wrong fuckin’ place and dat’s in the Natural Born Killaz business. After Tommy Knoxville is done cummin’ in your loose ass, he’s just gonna throw you aside and laugh at you ‘cause yo’ dumb enough to believe da shit that’ll be coming outta his cock trap. You ain’t getting’ a second win over me and you definitely ain’t getting it over Leon Robert’s. Ya ain’t got nowhere got nowhere to run, so you’ bitch ass betta pray dat Graham Cracka can save yo’ cause I wouldn’t trust the heir to the McDouble to save yo’ ass. You’re just tits and ass, and it’s only a matta of time before you realize it.
“A REAL Champion takes what is his, he ain’t gotta make it like Graham Cracker did. Da Farmer McDonald… do I have to say any mo’? I beat him twice before and Imma gonna beat him again, fair and square like da last time. And Niobe, you betta be actin’ like yo’ like you do take it in da ass, ‘cause we all know you do, like da champ you are and not bring yo’ fucking pansy ass boyfriend wit’ you. Ya’ll are fucked when da Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jennings get in da ring, ‘cause we be stealin yo’ lives, yo’ money, yo women and if yo’ not careful, yo’ lives!”
Jake took a few deep breaths and tried to come down, realizing he might have ruined his evening with Lacey.
Leaning over the table, Lacey smiled saw Jake mimic her movement. “What’s wrong Jake? Is something on your mind, sweetie?”
Was something on his mind? Of course there was something on his mind. Action Packed Wrestling’s Original Gangsta, Jake Titan always had something on his mind and he could easily run off at the mouth saying whatever Jake had to. “Yea’, I gotta lotta shit I wanna talk about.”
Jake’s voice was low, even though it was finer dinner, McLovin’ still had difficulty controlling his anger and his mouth. But here we have Lacey, the young woman sat there and simply listened to Jake and all his gripes even though he was rather rude and crude with his terminology. Knowing the kind of man he is and what job line Jake does, she was more than prepared for what would eventually happen with her and him.
“Why don’t you tell me about it? What’s getting you so angry, hun?” Lacey asked taking a sip of her wine.
“Yea’ I’m angry. First I got my fight wit’ Tommy Knoxville but like always Tommy had someone else win his match for him. I had that match wit’ his ho and I had dat match wit’ him, but guess what happened? He had to find someone else to win his fight’s fo’ him. The two of them can say whatever they want but it doesn’t mean shit. It’s a hollow win ‘cause they couldn’t do it without two or three people helpin’ dem out. Ya two are a buncha bitches and da entire world knows it.” Taking his time, Jake broke the shell of his lobster with his bare -hands; clearly he was trying to release some of his anger and stress. What better way to do that than to break something?
On the other hand, his lady company was using a Lobster cracker that the restaurant provides. “I’m strong and all but I’m not going to do that. Why don’t you put that to a little bit of use and choke some sense into Foul Play or NightmareVille? I mean they have it coming to them, don’t then?” She asked.
“Yea’ dey got it coming to dem. Dis week I gotta take on Da Trust and Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin… again. I’m willing to bet, if da Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jennings, a cat who is pretty fuckin’ cool I might add, lose it ain’t gonna be da right way. Some fuckin’ fucker will get deir face in the wrong fuckin’ place and it’ll happen to be dat da better team will lose.”
Lacey took a drink of her wine, Jake mimicked her movements again but also took a bite out of a bread roll. “I’m telling you, another week that fuckin’ asshole Tommy Knoxville walked away ‘cause he couldn’t win a fight on his own. A man can stand his fight and win it by himself. He ain’t no fuckin’ man, he needs to just shove a feather duster up his ass and call himself a chicken cause dat’s what he is. He’s a fuckin’ chicken and he couldn’t beat me without having someone save his wimpy little ass.
“Den we got his stupid fuckin’ friends Foul Play puttin’ their noses where it don’t belong. And that would be ANYWHERE near da Natural Born Killaz business. But you know what? I got his ass, I got Fowl Plays ass, and I got Niobe Martin’s ass. If Da Trust ain’t smart, which I thinkin’ dey is, den they’d make sure not to fuck up like dey did last week and attack my partner’s wife. I don’t go out to the bus stops and slap the dicks outta Reaver, Kash and Lively’s mouths. Those fuckin’ slugs need to watch out, Imma gonna drop a bucket a salt on dem and make sure they ain’t gonna do it again.”
“Whoa, you need to calm down. Something happen? I didn’t have a chance to watch Meltdown.” Lacey said as concern was in her voice as she was worried about Jake Titan.
“Ya want to really know? Shit hit da fan is what happened. I lost my match ‘cause Niobe’s brains ain’t in her head. Her boobs are bigger than her brain, she got involved in my match that I had won and got her man the win because he was out matched by Jake Titan in every way, shape and form. Den Fowl Play had to try and some shit wit’ Leon’s wife. I know da Natural Born Killaz be makin’ enemies everywhere we go. We don’t give a shit dem and we don’t give a shit ‘bout who we pissed off. But when you take someone who doesn’t fight, another man’s wife mind you, you fuckin’ signed your death warrant. Hold on, I gotta get this all off my chest.”
Jake took a deep breath and sat up, he looked directly at Lacey. “You know what? For far too God damn long, Tommy “Da Pansy Little Bitch” Knoxville and Niobe “I Wear Da Pants” Martin have been a fuckin’ thorn in our ass for too god damn long. Now we got Foul Play and The Trust getting up in our asses up in dis bitch. I gotta lotta shit to say ‘bout dem cats ‘n’ NightmareVille but I gotta keep dis in sight.
“Fowl Play attacked da us wit’ Tommy Knoxville. But we got dem, da Natural Born Killaz got dem jist not dis week. I wanna talk ‘bout Evan McDonald, who had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. Two times me and you have fought in the ring. Two times, I beat yo’ ass ‘n’ you had nothing to say or do about it. I remember back at da Super Show, your punk us was wit’ Kevin Dahlia. Some rich boy and someone who was forgettable, The Natural Born Killaz killed yo’ chance at the Tag Team Championships back then and we kept on winnin’. It took yo’ confused ass time but ya finally found yo’ way. March da eleventh, ya had to fight ME one on one.
“We had to fight again; you came at me harder ‘n’ betta. Ya pushed me to my limits but even then you couldn’t beat me. This time, I had to work my Pimp Hand on you before ya finally got the idea that you couldn’t beat me. It’s been over a month, I hope this time you’re ready to fight me again because if ya come at me wit’ yo’ punk ass from a few months ago, den ya punk ass is going to get beat. You’ve been getting’ better but you ain’t getting’ betta enough. I’ve been keeping my eyes on yo’ but ya jist ain’t getting’ good enough.
“Now I wanna look at his parter, Ellis Graham… cracker. That’s all you are to me, you’re just a treat dat little kids eat when dey behave. You’re just another spoiled white boy. What does you know about having it hard? Not a damn thing. You likely were waited on yo’ entire life, have a fear of success and an equally small pecker to match!” A low blow and a quick laugh, Jake Titan was easily amused.
“I ain’t know what to say ‘bout cho ass. All dem rich white folks like flockin’ togetha. But it ain’t meanin’ ya can beat Jennings, Roberts and Titan. All da monay ‘n’ ya still be walkin’ in da ring, ya’ll ain’t ghetoo. Ya’ll ain’t gangsta, ya’ll ain’t even tough! Ya guys are a couple of soft white guys, who got served hand ‘n’ foot. I work for a livin’ but ya’ll don’t need to from what I heard. Fact remains, the two of you are trying harder and harder but I’m afraid, my man Leon Roberts, myself Jake Titan, ‘n’ Michael Jennings, is just fire right now. We’ve beaten rich preppy shits like you two cats before, and we’re going to do it again. I don’t care how much fuckin’ money dat da two of you have. You ain’t going to pay yo’ way to da tag team titles. The Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jennings are commin’ into Meltdown and we be leavin’ as da winners.
“I ain’t sayin’ dat ‘cause I’m arrogant ‘n’ shit. I’m saying dat as I know dat’ll happen, Michael Jennings is gunna be da number man on Meltdown, the APW North American Champion as soon as we win da Tag Team Championship. I’ve made it a habit to beat you’re the ass of Evan McDonald, who had a farmer. E-I-E-I-O, and on his farm he had a duck. E-I-E-I-O, mother fucker, the Natural Born Killaz ain’t afraid of you and we ain’t afraid of all the damn monay in da world. Hell if you asses ain’t smart enough, I’ll probably help ya spread da wealth. I mean all dat money must be burnin’ a hole into yo’ pocket, if you’re throwin’ da money around why don’t ya spread da wealth. I ain’t gonna be easy on your rich ass, and I definitely ain’t gonna be easy on yo’ partner’s ass either. I beat him like da ho he is in tag team action, I beat him like a two dolla’ hoe in one on one action and I’ll beat him wit’ a new tag team partner. I can promise you that.”
Jake grabbed some pepper and sniffed it. Sure enough as anyone else who sniffed pepper, Jake’s face showed pain and anger to match. His eyes were bloodshot, face sweating, eyes twitching, then the contortion of his face. However, the internal fight inside of him proved successful: Jake Titan could not sneeze. Instead he looked at Lacey.
“Sorry, old habits die hard ‘n’ I use to be a coke mule. Not the proudest days of my life and they’re definitely days I wouldn’t willingly want to relive even though we are in South America, home of some of The Lady, ya know the best White Pony that money can buy. I’m off coke thanks to someone for switching my last ditch cache on me. But I’ll tell you what I’m not off, Niobe Martin and Tommy Knoxville.
“Those mother fuckers have been up my fucking ass for a long ass time. I’m tired of them, and I’m tired of their shit. I’ve already sent several emails to President Jeff and Sienna… whatever her name is, Yamcha-face! Sienna Yamcha-face, our GM HAS to have read my numberous emails I send her way and I betta get a fuckin’ answa I expect. But let me put it this way, if she ain’t a dumb bitch, shit will be heatin’ up soon for Meltdown as da Natural Born Killaz will be puttin’ da end of da chapter wit’ Tommy Knoxville and Niobe “The Nightmare” Martin.
“Tommy Knoxville, like I called it. Your fuckin’ punk ass cannot fight alone, it cannot win alone, and neither can yo’ ho. I was controllin’ dat match, I was whoopin’ dat ass, I was tappin’ dat ass, then some igly-“
“Igly? What’s that?” Interrupted Lacey.
A low, barely audible chuckle is heard coming from Jake. “Igly is the final form of Ugly, after Oogli of course. Tommy Knoxville’s igly fuckin’ mug had da get involved in my match and win it for his bitch, Niobe Martin. Now dat white skank be goin’ round talkin’ mad shit like she got da best of da Natural Born Killaz’s Jake Titan. You didn’t do shit, you won ‘cause yo’ man won the match fo’ you. You won ‘cause Tommy Knoxville wanted to shoot his two loads if salt from his yogurt cannon down yo’ mouth, ‘n’ he won fo’ yo’ ‘cause ya just ain’t good enough to be. Dat’s why we’ll find out of Sienna Yamcha-face when she tells yo’ punk asses da truth ‘bout Mayhem. Ya ain’t gonna like it. Ya never will like it.
“So while I went off da track and had to beat da broken horse known as Tommy Knoxville again, I’m going to say dis. You won’t beat me this week, you can bring Tommy Dick-in-my-ass-ville, Reapin’-my-jizz-in-my-face, Michael Livin’-at-my-parents-home ‘n’ Justin Kash wit’ you, da Natural Born Killaz ain’t fuckin’ scared of any of you. We’ll beat dem all like stupid bitches dey be. Fowl Play ain’t shit, da Trust ain’t shit and NightmareVille ain’t shit. I ain’t afraid of money, I ain’t afraid of a hack Grand Slam Champion. I ain’t have shit to my name and I can admit dat but I ain’t intimidated and I know Leon Robet’s ain’t intimidated and I know for fact dat Michael Jenning’s ain’t afraid of ya’ll either.
“I’m going to take dat Reality Championship ‘n’ I’m gunna shove it up yo’ Graham Cracker. Because I ain’t remember you doin’ shit to deserve any championship. As a matta of fact, Imma call myself ‘n’ Leon Roberts da “Baddest Sons of Bitches, Dat Be Pimpin’ Yo Mama” Champions… yea’ I gotta work on dat name. Because da way I see it is dat since you ain’t done shit to deserve it, it just means yo’ an undeservin’ champion, even your Chicken Fuckin’ Friends, Fowl Play if ya ain’t caught on, dey deserve a championship more den yo’ ass. Da Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jenning’s are gonna give yo’ ass a Reality Check. Ya ain’t gonna like it because dat bitter pill known as defeat is going to cum in yo’ mouth like yo’ daddy and yo’ gonna have to enjoy it.
“Know what? Dis is runin’ my fuckin’ night. Tommy Knoxville, I swear to fuckin’ God. If you show your ass anywhere near ring side, I’m going to knock yo’ ass out with a baseball bat, shave you bald, cover you in peanut butter ‘n’ leave yo’ ass in some back alley with a one dolla’ sale sign on you ‘cause yo’ ain’t no man. Speaking of not being a man, Niobe: Fuck you, I’m going to beat you two times harder and three times harder dis time because yo’ dumbass keeps puttin’ in da wrong fuckin’ place and dat’s in the Natural Born Killaz business. After Tommy Knoxville is done cummin’ in your loose ass, he’s just gonna throw you aside and laugh at you ‘cause yo’ dumb enough to believe da shit that’ll be coming outta his cock trap. You ain’t getting’ a second win over me and you definitely ain’t getting it over Leon Robert’s. Ya ain’t got nowhere got nowhere to run, so you’ bitch ass betta pray dat Graham Cracka can save yo’ cause I wouldn’t trust the heir to the McDouble to save yo’ ass. You’re just tits and ass, and it’s only a matta of time before you realize it.
“A REAL Champion takes what is his, he ain’t gotta make it like Graham Cracker did. Da Farmer McDonald… do I have to say any mo’? I beat him twice before and Imma gonna beat him again, fair and square like da last time. And Niobe, you betta be actin’ like yo’ like you do take it in da ass, ‘cause we all know you do, like da champ you are and not bring yo’ fucking pansy ass boyfriend wit’ you. Ya’ll are fucked when da Natural Born Killaz and Michael Jennings get in da ring, ‘cause we be stealin yo’ lives, yo’ money, yo women and if yo’ not careful, yo’ lives!”
Jake took a few deep breaths and tried to come down, realizing he might have ruined his evening with Lacey.
NOTE: Might get this a minute or two late, I was fixing my coding. Sorry about that guys.
