Post by A.C. Smith on Jun 25, 2013 8:49:01 GMT -4
Unlike most of the videos we'll see this week, today's opens in black and white. We see a suited-up Bobby the Bavarian Man-Bitch step out of a car outside a dimly-lit building, and he is next seen riding up an elevator to his sixth-floor office.
He walks into his office and shuts the door, only to see that a safe in the wall has been forced open. Suddenly, he hears a voice coming from behind him.
Voice: “M really doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Bobby. She'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling secrets.”
We see that the voice is coming from the Big Apple Asskicker, A.C. Smith, who is sitting down in a chair on the other side of the room. He looks none too pleased, and quietly opens his desk drawer, one that contains a revolver.
Bobby: “If the theatrics are supposed to scare me...you have the wrong man, Bond. If M was so sure I was bent, she'd have sent a double-O. Benefits of being section chief, I'd know if anyone had been promoted to double-O status. Your file shows no kills, and it takes...”
A.C.: “Two.”
Quickly, we cut to a flashback of Smith, who we now know is portraying Daniel Craig's James Bond, brawling with another man in a bathroom. Just as quickly, we're back in the office, and Bobby has pulled out his gun.
Bobby: “Shame. We barely got to know each other.”
Bobby pulls the trigger, but nothing happens, and a horrified look comes over his face. Smith smirks, holding up a pistol of his own.
A.C.: “I know where you keep your gun. I suppose that's something.”
Bobby: “...true. How did he die?”
A.C.: “Your contact? Not well.”
Suddenly, we're back in the bathroom, where we see Smith holding the man's head underneath a full sink and drowning him before we cut back to the office.
Bobby: “Made you feel it, did he? Well, you needn't worry. The second is...”
BANG!
Bobby falls to the ground, dead of a single gunshot wound to the head.
A.C.: “Yes. Considerably.”
Having completed his mission and assured 007 status, Smith leaves the room, and our scene fades to black.
---
We're back in color, and we see Smith's Bond sitting on a train in Europe in the dead of night. He's headed to a poker game in Montenegro, one where he will square off against Le Chiffre, chief banker to the world's terrorists who is looking to regain over $100 million he lost when Bond foiled a plot to blow up a prototype airliner in Miami.
Smith is looking at a menu when a woman clad in all-black walks into the shot and sits down in the seat opposite his. We immediately identify her as Roxanne, Smith's love interest of late, and as expected, she looks dazzling, even in conservative, professional attire.
Roxanne: “I'm the money.”
A.C.: “Every penny of it.”
Smith puts his menu down, but Roxanne is not flustered by his advances as she hands him her business card. It reads, “Vesper Lynd, International Liaison Officer.”
Roxanne: “The treasury has agreed to stake you in the game.”
A.C.: “Vesper? I do hope you gave your parents hell for that.”
Roxanne: “Your boss must be well-connected. I've never seen so much go out the door so quickly.”
A.C.: (sipping a drink) “Or quite so stylishly.”
Roxanne allows herself a slight smile.
A.C.: “May I ask you where it is?”
Roxanne: “$10 million was wired to your account in Montenegro, with a contingency for $5 million more if I deem it a prudent investment. I suppose you've given some thought to the notion that if you lose, our government will have directly financed terrorism.”
A pause as Roxanne looks at the menu.
Roxanne: “What looks good?”
Time passes. We see the train blow by a station, and inside, Smith and Roxanne have just finished eating dinner.
Roxanne: “So you're telling me it's mathematical probability and odds? I was worried there wasn't chance involved.”
A.C.: “Well, only if you assume the player with the best hand wins.”
Roxanne: “So that would be what you'd call bluffing.”
A.C. smiles.
A.C.: “You've heard the term. Then you'll also know that in poker, you never play your hand. You play the man across from you.”
Roxanne: “And you're good at reading people?”
A.C.: “Yes, I am. Which is why I've been able to detect an undercurrent of sarcasm in your voice.”
Roxanne: (rolling her eyes) “I'm now assured our money is in good hands.”
A.C.: “You don't think this is a very good plan, do you?”
Roxanne: “So there IS a plan? I got the impression we were risking millions of dollars and hundreds of lives on a game of luck. What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond?”
Smith takes this as a personal challenge.
A.C.: “About you, Miss Lynd?
“Well, your beauty's a problem. You worry you won't be taken seriously.”
Roxanne: “Which one could say of any attractive woman with half a brain.”
A.C.: “True, but this one overcompensates by wearing slightly masculine clothing, being more aggressive than her female colleagues, which gives her a somewhat prickly demeanor and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted and promoted by her male superiors, who mistake her insecurities for arrogance.
“Now, I'd have normally gone with only child, but...you see, by the way you ignored the quip about your parents...I'm going to have to go with orphan.”
The look on Roxanne's face tells the whole story: Smith is absolutely right.
Roxanne: “All right. By the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever and actually think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity, hence the chip on your shoulder.
“And since your first thought about me ran to orphan...that's what I'd say you are.”
The look on Smith's face tells the whole story: Roxanne is absolutely right.
Roxanne: “Oh, you are! I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense, since MI-6 looks for maladjusted young men who give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect Queen and country.
“You know...former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches. Rolex?”
A.C.: “Omega.”
Roxanne: “Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard.”
A.C.: “No, of course not.”
Roxanne: “But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money and off your perfectly-formed ass.”
A.C.: “You noticed?”
Roxanne: “Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?”
A.C.: “Skewered. One sympathizes.”
Roxanne: “Good evening, Mr. Bond.”
A.C.: “Good evening, Miss Lynd.”
Roxanne walks to another car on the train, and Smith watches her leave as we fade to black once again.
---
We come up from black in what's still a very dark scene. In fact, it might be the most famous one from the movie we're seeing bits and pieces of.
The lone light in the picture shines on a naked A.C. Smith, who's tied to a chair. Bond has just won the poker game, denying Le Chiffre a chance to win back the money he lost, and now, the villain is resorting to desperate measures to get what he wants.
Stevie is playing Le Chiffre, and he has a knotted rope in his hand.
Stevie: “You know, I've never understood all those elaborate tortures. It's the simplest thing, to cause more pain than a man can possibly endure.”
WHACK.
The rope 'thunks' against Smith's unseen 'man parts.' A.C. stifles a loud scream, but it's clear the shot was only an indicator of things to come.
Stevie: “And of course, it's not only the immediate agony, but the knowledge that if you do not yield soon enough, there will be little left to identify you as a man. The only question remains...will you yield in time?
“I want the money.”
Silence from Smith.
WHACK!
This time, Smith screams, and loudly.
Stevie: “Miss Lynd will give me the account number, if she hasn't already. So all I need from you is the password.
“The password...please.”
A.C. looks on defiantly.
A.C.: “I've got a little itch...down there. Would you mind?”
Stevie is all too happy to oblige.
WHACK!!!
A.C.: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! To the right, to the right, to the right!”
Stevie: “You're a funny man, Mr. Bond.”
WHACK!!!
A.C.: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Yes, yes, yes, yes!”
Unbelievably, Smith's howling turns into laughter.
A.C.: “Now the whole world's going to know that you died scratching my balls!”
Stevie: “...I died? I DIED?!”
A.C.: “Yes. Because no matter what you do, I'm not gonna give you the password, which means your client's gonna hunt you down and cut you into little pieces of meat while you're still breathing. Because if you kill me, there'll be nowhere else to hide.”
Stevie: “You are SO WRONG! Because even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend, your people would still welcome me with open arms, because they need what I know.”
A.C.: “The big picture.”
We hear Roxanne screaming off-screen.
Stevie: “Give me the password, and I will at least let her live. Do it soon enough, and she might even be in one piece.”
Smith weighs the offer for a second or two before he starts chuckling again.
Stevie: “You really aren't going to tell me, are you?”
A.C.: “No.”
Stevie suddenly kicks Smith in the chest, knocking the chair backwards and putting him on his back with his legs in the air.
Stevie: (pulling out a knife) “So I think I'll feed you what you seem not to value.”
Stevie jumps down, preparing to castrate his enemy. Suddenly, though, he hears two gunshots off-screen, and he becomes very concerned as a door opens and a man with a gun comes charging through.
Stevie: “I'll get the money. Tell them I'll get the money.”
Man: “Money isn't as valuable to our organization as knowing who to trust.”
BANG!
Le Chiffre falls down after a single gunshot to the head, and our scene fades to black. After a few seconds, the famed red text we've seen in several Salutes to Cinema comes up, reading two familiar words we've come to know and love.
We fade up to the dungeon we saw earlier. This time, though, it's well-lit, and this time, Smith is clothed, wearing not his usual t-shirt and jeans, but a snazzy black suit and matching tie with silver pinstripes. This is Smith at his most sophisticated, which shouldn't come as a shock considering who he just portrayed.
Smith stands, leaning up against the chair he sat in just moments ago, and after a second or two of digesting the scene, he opens his mouth to speak.
A.C.: “It was only a matter of time before my Salute to Cinema series came back. I only tell stories through it on special occasions, and Test for the Best is certainly one of them. 10 of us go in with hopes of earning a title shot at Shockwave, but only one of us will get through the bracket and emerge victorious.
“This is one heck of a field we've got. Hell, just take the four guys from Overdrive: Myself, Biggs, C.J. Gates, and Nathaniel Havok. Obviously, it's not just us, considering we'll be joined by four representatives from Asylum and two from Meltdown. However, for the sake of today's little talk, I'll be focusing on those who fly the Overdrive banner.
“I respect those three guys a great deal. But I fear none of them, and for good reason. I've gone toe-to-toe with Biggs, Gates, and Havok in one-on-one settings, and I've beaten them all. There are some who see me as Overdrive's 'dark horse,' but that's just plain wrong. Maybe I've got something to prove, sure, but to say I stand less of a chance at winning this tournament than those three? Well, that's just plain wrong.”
Smith isn't saying any of this in a condescending tone, rather, he's addressing the camera in his usual, reasonable manner. After a short pause, he continues.
A.C.: “I chose to tackle a couple of James Bond movies this week for a reason. This one, 'Casino Royale,' profiled Bond's start as a spy, going from a guy that has been underestimated by his peers and his boss to the most well-known secret agent in his world.
“Last year, I was considered the pushover on the Overdrive brand entering this tournament. It was Terry Marvin, Keaton Saint, John Dionysus, and little old me. Nobody gave me a snowball's chance in hell of doing anything in Test for the Best, especially given that I had to face Terry, but I didn't back down from a challenge. I gave Terry Marvin the biggest challenge he had during what became known as 'The Summer of Showtime,' and while I lost that match, there was no doubt that I'd be back next year.
“In fact, I'm the only guy who was in the 2012 bracket that made it back in 2013. That's not by accident, either. I set a goal for myself, I went out, and I did it. It wasn't easy; for the second straight year, I had to fight my way in after losing a preliminary match. But a battle royal couldn't stop me, Amy Zing sure as HELL couldn't stop me, and the reputations Biggs, Gates, and Havok have won't stop me next Sunday night, either.”
Smith looks at the rickety chair for a moment before sitting down. As he opens his mouth to speak again, the camera begins a slow zoom-in on the APW Xtreme Champion.
A.C.: “Biggs had the same lofty reputation he has now when we first locked up last summer. I didn't just beat him that night, I knocked his ass out. C.J. Gates had his same lofty reputation last summer. I beat him once, and had a Match of the Year-type encounter with him in our second go-round a few weeks ago. Nathaniel Havok had the same lofty reputation he has now at Mayhem, when he said he was out to reclaim what was rightfully his, the Xtreme Championship. Instead, I beat him at his own game, leaving him in a pool of his own blood and continuing my own historic reign with that belt.
So anyone that tries to call me an underdog in this tournament, or someone that doesn't belong: Shove it.”
We see redness come to Smith's face, and his nostrils flare up as his brown eyes lock in on the camera lens.
A.C.: “To an extent, my struggle resembles the ones Bond had in 'Casino Royale.' Nobody had any faith in him, but there he was, getting promoted to double-O status quickly. Not even the woman staking Bond in the poker game in Montenegro had faith in his abilities, but he went and won it. Le Chiffre thought he'd be an easy man to torture, but Bond held out until Mr. White barged in and sprung him.
“Biggs, Gates, and Havok are all household names, and I won't take anything away from any of them. But coming into this tournament, nobody from the Overdrive brand has more momentum than the Big Apple Asskicker, A.C. Smith. I've held the Xtreme Championship for six months, become the longest-reigning champ on APW's flagship show, and held off plenty of big stars to do it. I got dealt a setback against Gates a few weeks ago, sure, but I overcame it, just like I did last year after I lost to Delikado in the lead-up to the tournament.
“This time, though, I'm not setting out to give some future champ a good fight. This time, my goals are much greater. This time, my goal isn't to hold my own with nine other wrestlers. It's to beat them, and to get a chance at one of the most prestigious titles in a business I've been a major star in for 11 years. Everything I've done in the last 12 months has prepared me for this moment, and I'm ready to take the proverbial ball and run with it.”
We see some members of the Salute to Cinema crew begin breaking down the set behind Smith, who ignores them as he continues to address his audience.
A.C.: “Biggs beat Johnny Rebel last week, and props to him for that. He's fast, he's agile, and he's motivated. He wants to get back at Level-One for all the trouble he's caused him, and Shockwave's main event would provide a really nice spot for him to do that.
“But one thing he doesn't have over me is confidence. I know, for a fact, that if I catch Biggs with his feet planted, he's going down and going down HARD. He spent some time earlier this month undergoing concussion tests, and if I get a chance to knock him out again, his agent better have that doctor on speed dial.
“By Biggs's own admission, my knockout win over him last year was the biggest ass-kicking he's received in APW. I respect his accomplishments, and I respect him as a man, but if he runs up against me Sunday night, he's got a major, MAJOR problem, and he knows it.”
Smith cracks the knuckles on each of his hands, possibly for emphasis, possibly out of stiffness.
A.C.: “C.J. Gates and I...well, we had one hell of a match a few weeks ago, probably the best one Overdrive has seen this year. He and I hit each other with everything we had that night, knowing full well that there was a big chance we'd see each other again in the tournament. That night, he was just a little bit better.
“But see, several months ago, we locked up for the first time, and I was just a little bit better than he was. This is no matchup of David vs. Goliath. We're as even as even can be, whether anyone in this field wants to admit it or not, and while some wrestlers in this field want no part of Gates, who is considered one of the tournament's favorites, I look forward to the challenge of possibly facing him again.
“I didn't come back to wrestling for things to be easy. If I wanted the easy life, I'd have stayed in my New York City penthouse years ago, taken boring interest rates on the money I'd earned, and lounged around the Big Apple doing whatever it is retired thirty-something people do. No, I came back for moments like Test for the Best, and for matches like the one I had with C.J. Gates a few weeks ago.
“I don't just not want to run from C.J. Gates. I want to run towards him, and I'm praying to God the draw puts us together again. Is that unconventional? Absolutely. But do thoughts like that make me a man that is uniquely suited for Test for the Best? You're damn right they do, and THAT'S why I'm going to outlast C.J. Gates and anyone else that gets in my way Sunday night.”
We see members of the crew carry off pieces of the set in the background, slowly revealing the gray studio walls behind it. Smith continues, possibly realizing he needs to leave the premises sooner rather than later.
A.C.: “And then we come to Nathaniel Havok. He tried every mind game in the book leading up to Mayhem. He insulted me. He insulted my background. He said he'd never truly lost the Xtreme Championship, that I was some sort of placeholder in a division just waiting for him to emerge again as its leader.
“Nothing worked. Instead of him reclaiming what he thought was rightfully his, I destroyed him at his own game. By his own admission, I humbled Nathaniel Havok, something a lot of people didn't think was possible.
“I ask one question, and only one question: What's changed since then that could possibly make him able to turn the tables on me? The answer is, not nearly enough. He's still got the same, sorry-ass sense of entitlement. He's started calling the tournament 'his,' despite the fact that he had by FAR the easiest route into the bracket. It's the same behavior he exhibited prior to Mayhem, and if he thinks he wants this more than I do, once again, he's dead wrong.
“In his mind, he couldn't lose, despite the deck being so clearly stacked against him. Everyone else can see that very clearly, but he can't, and that's what's going to make seeing him get bounced early that much sweeter.”
A crew member taps Smith on the shoulder, needing the chair he's sitting on. Smith obliges, rising to his full 6'8” height and dusting off his suit before looking at the camera one last time.
A.C.: “One year ago, I made the wrestling world take notice when nobody gave me anything resembling a chance. Now, I've made it back into Test for the Best, not as some figure in the background or fodder for a future champion, but, in my mind and the minds of the best fans anyone could ever as for, as one of the tournament's favorites.
“Going in, I have lots of respect, but no fear. Much like Bond in 'Casino Royale,' I will not shy away from doing the dirty work. I will not be intimidated by anyone saying I can't win. And I sure as HELL won't crumble in the face of overwhelming odds. Havok was right about one thing. There can only be one logical winner of this tournament from the Overdrive side of things. Only it's not him, and it's not Biggs or Gates, either.
“The name? Smith. A.C. Smith.”
Smith says the last line with a bit of a smirk, and as he exits to our left, our scene fades to black one last time.
NOTE: Pre-HTML word count in Word was 3,794.
He walks into his office and shuts the door, only to see that a safe in the wall has been forced open. Suddenly, he hears a voice coming from behind him.
Voice: “M really doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Bobby. She'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling secrets.”
We see that the voice is coming from the Big Apple Asskicker, A.C. Smith, who is sitting down in a chair on the other side of the room. He looks none too pleased, and quietly opens his desk drawer, one that contains a revolver.
Bobby: “If the theatrics are supposed to scare me...you have the wrong man, Bond. If M was so sure I was bent, she'd have sent a double-O. Benefits of being section chief, I'd know if anyone had been promoted to double-O status. Your file shows no kills, and it takes...”
A.C.: “Two.”
Quickly, we cut to a flashback of Smith, who we now know is portraying Daniel Craig's James Bond, brawling with another man in a bathroom. Just as quickly, we're back in the office, and Bobby has pulled out his gun.
Bobby: “Shame. We barely got to know each other.”
Bobby pulls the trigger, but nothing happens, and a horrified look comes over his face. Smith smirks, holding up a pistol of his own.
A.C.: “I know where you keep your gun. I suppose that's something.”
Bobby: “...true. How did he die?”
A.C.: “Your contact? Not well.”
Suddenly, we're back in the bathroom, where we see Smith holding the man's head underneath a full sink and drowning him before we cut back to the office.
Bobby: “Made you feel it, did he? Well, you needn't worry. The second is...”
BANG!
Bobby falls to the ground, dead of a single gunshot wound to the head.
A.C.: “Yes. Considerably.”
Having completed his mission and assured 007 status, Smith leaves the room, and our scene fades to black.
---
We're back in color, and we see Smith's Bond sitting on a train in Europe in the dead of night. He's headed to a poker game in Montenegro, one where he will square off against Le Chiffre, chief banker to the world's terrorists who is looking to regain over $100 million he lost when Bond foiled a plot to blow up a prototype airliner in Miami.
Smith is looking at a menu when a woman clad in all-black walks into the shot and sits down in the seat opposite his. We immediately identify her as Roxanne, Smith's love interest of late, and as expected, she looks dazzling, even in conservative, professional attire.
Roxanne: “I'm the money.”
A.C.: “Every penny of it.”
Smith puts his menu down, but Roxanne is not flustered by his advances as she hands him her business card. It reads, “Vesper Lynd, International Liaison Officer.”
Roxanne: “The treasury has agreed to stake you in the game.”
A.C.: “Vesper? I do hope you gave your parents hell for that.”
Roxanne: “Your boss must be well-connected. I've never seen so much go out the door so quickly.”
A.C.: (sipping a drink) “Or quite so stylishly.”
Roxanne allows herself a slight smile.
A.C.: “May I ask you where it is?”
Roxanne: “$10 million was wired to your account in Montenegro, with a contingency for $5 million more if I deem it a prudent investment. I suppose you've given some thought to the notion that if you lose, our government will have directly financed terrorism.”
A pause as Roxanne looks at the menu.
Roxanne: “What looks good?”
Time passes. We see the train blow by a station, and inside, Smith and Roxanne have just finished eating dinner.
Roxanne: “So you're telling me it's mathematical probability and odds? I was worried there wasn't chance involved.”
A.C.: “Well, only if you assume the player with the best hand wins.”
Roxanne: “So that would be what you'd call bluffing.”
A.C. smiles.
A.C.: “You've heard the term. Then you'll also know that in poker, you never play your hand. You play the man across from you.”
Roxanne: “And you're good at reading people?”
A.C.: “Yes, I am. Which is why I've been able to detect an undercurrent of sarcasm in your voice.”
Roxanne: (rolling her eyes) “I'm now assured our money is in good hands.”
A.C.: “You don't think this is a very good plan, do you?”
Roxanne: “So there IS a plan? I got the impression we were risking millions of dollars and hundreds of lives on a game of luck. What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond?”
Smith takes this as a personal challenge.
A.C.: “About you, Miss Lynd?
“Well, your beauty's a problem. You worry you won't be taken seriously.”
Roxanne: “Which one could say of any attractive woman with half a brain.”
A.C.: “True, but this one overcompensates by wearing slightly masculine clothing, being more aggressive than her female colleagues, which gives her a somewhat prickly demeanor and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted and promoted by her male superiors, who mistake her insecurities for arrogance.
“Now, I'd have normally gone with only child, but...you see, by the way you ignored the quip about your parents...I'm going to have to go with orphan.”
The look on Roxanne's face tells the whole story: Smith is absolutely right.
Roxanne: “All right. By the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever and actually think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity, hence the chip on your shoulder.
“And since your first thought about me ran to orphan...that's what I'd say you are.”
The look on Smith's face tells the whole story: Roxanne is absolutely right.
Roxanne: “Oh, you are! I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense, since MI-6 looks for maladjusted young men who give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect Queen and country.
“You know...former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches. Rolex?”
A.C.: “Omega.”
Roxanne: “Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard.”
A.C.: “No, of course not.”
Roxanne: “But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money and off your perfectly-formed ass.”
A.C.: “You noticed?”
Roxanne: “Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?”
A.C.: “Skewered. One sympathizes.”
Roxanne: “Good evening, Mr. Bond.”
A.C.: “Good evening, Miss Lynd.”
Roxanne walks to another car on the train, and Smith watches her leave as we fade to black once again.
---
We come up from black in what's still a very dark scene. In fact, it might be the most famous one from the movie we're seeing bits and pieces of.
The lone light in the picture shines on a naked A.C. Smith, who's tied to a chair. Bond has just won the poker game, denying Le Chiffre a chance to win back the money he lost, and now, the villain is resorting to desperate measures to get what he wants.
Stevie is playing Le Chiffre, and he has a knotted rope in his hand.
Stevie: “You know, I've never understood all those elaborate tortures. It's the simplest thing, to cause more pain than a man can possibly endure.”
WHACK.
The rope 'thunks' against Smith's unseen 'man parts.' A.C. stifles a loud scream, but it's clear the shot was only an indicator of things to come.
Stevie: “And of course, it's not only the immediate agony, but the knowledge that if you do not yield soon enough, there will be little left to identify you as a man. The only question remains...will you yield in time?
“I want the money.”
Silence from Smith.
WHACK!
This time, Smith screams, and loudly.
Stevie: “Miss Lynd will give me the account number, if she hasn't already. So all I need from you is the password.
“The password...please.”
A.C. looks on defiantly.
A.C.: “I've got a little itch...down there. Would you mind?”
Stevie is all too happy to oblige.
WHACK!!!
A.C.: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! To the right, to the right, to the right!”
Stevie: “You're a funny man, Mr. Bond.”
WHACK!!!
A.C.: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Yes, yes, yes, yes!”
Unbelievably, Smith's howling turns into laughter.
A.C.: “Now the whole world's going to know that you died scratching my balls!”
Stevie: “...I died? I DIED?!”
A.C.: “Yes. Because no matter what you do, I'm not gonna give you the password, which means your client's gonna hunt you down and cut you into little pieces of meat while you're still breathing. Because if you kill me, there'll be nowhere else to hide.”
Stevie: “You are SO WRONG! Because even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend, your people would still welcome me with open arms, because they need what I know.”
A.C.: “The big picture.”
We hear Roxanne screaming off-screen.
Stevie: “Give me the password, and I will at least let her live. Do it soon enough, and she might even be in one piece.”
Smith weighs the offer for a second or two before he starts chuckling again.
Stevie: “You really aren't going to tell me, are you?”
A.C.: “No.”
Stevie suddenly kicks Smith in the chest, knocking the chair backwards and putting him on his back with his legs in the air.
Stevie: (pulling out a knife) “So I think I'll feed you what you seem not to value.”
Stevie jumps down, preparing to castrate his enemy. Suddenly, though, he hears two gunshots off-screen, and he becomes very concerned as a door opens and a man with a gun comes charging through.
Stevie: “I'll get the money. Tell them I'll get the money.”
Man: “Money isn't as valuable to our organization as knowing who to trust.”
BANG!
Le Chiffre falls down after a single gunshot to the head, and our scene fades to black. After a few seconds, the famed red text we've seen in several Salutes to Cinema comes up, reading two familiar words we've come to know and love.
DIRECTOR'S CUT
We fade up to the dungeon we saw earlier. This time, though, it's well-lit, and this time, Smith is clothed, wearing not his usual t-shirt and jeans, but a snazzy black suit and matching tie with silver pinstripes. This is Smith at his most sophisticated, which shouldn't come as a shock considering who he just portrayed.
Smith stands, leaning up against the chair he sat in just moments ago, and after a second or two of digesting the scene, he opens his mouth to speak.
A.C.: “It was only a matter of time before my Salute to Cinema series came back. I only tell stories through it on special occasions, and Test for the Best is certainly one of them. 10 of us go in with hopes of earning a title shot at Shockwave, but only one of us will get through the bracket and emerge victorious.
“This is one heck of a field we've got. Hell, just take the four guys from Overdrive: Myself, Biggs, C.J. Gates, and Nathaniel Havok. Obviously, it's not just us, considering we'll be joined by four representatives from Asylum and two from Meltdown. However, for the sake of today's little talk, I'll be focusing on those who fly the Overdrive banner.
“I respect those three guys a great deal. But I fear none of them, and for good reason. I've gone toe-to-toe with Biggs, Gates, and Havok in one-on-one settings, and I've beaten them all. There are some who see me as Overdrive's 'dark horse,' but that's just plain wrong. Maybe I've got something to prove, sure, but to say I stand less of a chance at winning this tournament than those three? Well, that's just plain wrong.”
Smith isn't saying any of this in a condescending tone, rather, he's addressing the camera in his usual, reasonable manner. After a short pause, he continues.
A.C.: “I chose to tackle a couple of James Bond movies this week for a reason. This one, 'Casino Royale,' profiled Bond's start as a spy, going from a guy that has been underestimated by his peers and his boss to the most well-known secret agent in his world.
“Last year, I was considered the pushover on the Overdrive brand entering this tournament. It was Terry Marvin, Keaton Saint, John Dionysus, and little old me. Nobody gave me a snowball's chance in hell of doing anything in Test for the Best, especially given that I had to face Terry, but I didn't back down from a challenge. I gave Terry Marvin the biggest challenge he had during what became known as 'The Summer of Showtime,' and while I lost that match, there was no doubt that I'd be back next year.
“In fact, I'm the only guy who was in the 2012 bracket that made it back in 2013. That's not by accident, either. I set a goal for myself, I went out, and I did it. It wasn't easy; for the second straight year, I had to fight my way in after losing a preliminary match. But a battle royal couldn't stop me, Amy Zing sure as HELL couldn't stop me, and the reputations Biggs, Gates, and Havok have won't stop me next Sunday night, either.”
Smith looks at the rickety chair for a moment before sitting down. As he opens his mouth to speak again, the camera begins a slow zoom-in on the APW Xtreme Champion.
A.C.: “Biggs had the same lofty reputation he has now when we first locked up last summer. I didn't just beat him that night, I knocked his ass out. C.J. Gates had his same lofty reputation last summer. I beat him once, and had a Match of the Year-type encounter with him in our second go-round a few weeks ago. Nathaniel Havok had the same lofty reputation he has now at Mayhem, when he said he was out to reclaim what was rightfully his, the Xtreme Championship. Instead, I beat him at his own game, leaving him in a pool of his own blood and continuing my own historic reign with that belt.
So anyone that tries to call me an underdog in this tournament, or someone that doesn't belong: Shove it.”
We see redness come to Smith's face, and his nostrils flare up as his brown eyes lock in on the camera lens.
A.C.: “To an extent, my struggle resembles the ones Bond had in 'Casino Royale.' Nobody had any faith in him, but there he was, getting promoted to double-O status quickly. Not even the woman staking Bond in the poker game in Montenegro had faith in his abilities, but he went and won it. Le Chiffre thought he'd be an easy man to torture, but Bond held out until Mr. White barged in and sprung him.
“Biggs, Gates, and Havok are all household names, and I won't take anything away from any of them. But coming into this tournament, nobody from the Overdrive brand has more momentum than the Big Apple Asskicker, A.C. Smith. I've held the Xtreme Championship for six months, become the longest-reigning champ on APW's flagship show, and held off plenty of big stars to do it. I got dealt a setback against Gates a few weeks ago, sure, but I overcame it, just like I did last year after I lost to Delikado in the lead-up to the tournament.
“This time, though, I'm not setting out to give some future champ a good fight. This time, my goals are much greater. This time, my goal isn't to hold my own with nine other wrestlers. It's to beat them, and to get a chance at one of the most prestigious titles in a business I've been a major star in for 11 years. Everything I've done in the last 12 months has prepared me for this moment, and I'm ready to take the proverbial ball and run with it.”
We see some members of the Salute to Cinema crew begin breaking down the set behind Smith, who ignores them as he continues to address his audience.
A.C.: “Biggs beat Johnny Rebel last week, and props to him for that. He's fast, he's agile, and he's motivated. He wants to get back at Level-One for all the trouble he's caused him, and Shockwave's main event would provide a really nice spot for him to do that.
“But one thing he doesn't have over me is confidence. I know, for a fact, that if I catch Biggs with his feet planted, he's going down and going down HARD. He spent some time earlier this month undergoing concussion tests, and if I get a chance to knock him out again, his agent better have that doctor on speed dial.
“By Biggs's own admission, my knockout win over him last year was the biggest ass-kicking he's received in APW. I respect his accomplishments, and I respect him as a man, but if he runs up against me Sunday night, he's got a major, MAJOR problem, and he knows it.”
Smith cracks the knuckles on each of his hands, possibly for emphasis, possibly out of stiffness.
A.C.: “C.J. Gates and I...well, we had one hell of a match a few weeks ago, probably the best one Overdrive has seen this year. He and I hit each other with everything we had that night, knowing full well that there was a big chance we'd see each other again in the tournament. That night, he was just a little bit better.
“But see, several months ago, we locked up for the first time, and I was just a little bit better than he was. This is no matchup of David vs. Goliath. We're as even as even can be, whether anyone in this field wants to admit it or not, and while some wrestlers in this field want no part of Gates, who is considered one of the tournament's favorites, I look forward to the challenge of possibly facing him again.
“I didn't come back to wrestling for things to be easy. If I wanted the easy life, I'd have stayed in my New York City penthouse years ago, taken boring interest rates on the money I'd earned, and lounged around the Big Apple doing whatever it is retired thirty-something people do. No, I came back for moments like Test for the Best, and for matches like the one I had with C.J. Gates a few weeks ago.
“I don't just not want to run from C.J. Gates. I want to run towards him, and I'm praying to God the draw puts us together again. Is that unconventional? Absolutely. But do thoughts like that make me a man that is uniquely suited for Test for the Best? You're damn right they do, and THAT'S why I'm going to outlast C.J. Gates and anyone else that gets in my way Sunday night.”
We see members of the crew carry off pieces of the set in the background, slowly revealing the gray studio walls behind it. Smith continues, possibly realizing he needs to leave the premises sooner rather than later.
A.C.: “And then we come to Nathaniel Havok. He tried every mind game in the book leading up to Mayhem. He insulted me. He insulted my background. He said he'd never truly lost the Xtreme Championship, that I was some sort of placeholder in a division just waiting for him to emerge again as its leader.
“Nothing worked. Instead of him reclaiming what he thought was rightfully his, I destroyed him at his own game. By his own admission, I humbled Nathaniel Havok, something a lot of people didn't think was possible.
“I ask one question, and only one question: What's changed since then that could possibly make him able to turn the tables on me? The answer is, not nearly enough. He's still got the same, sorry-ass sense of entitlement. He's started calling the tournament 'his,' despite the fact that he had by FAR the easiest route into the bracket. It's the same behavior he exhibited prior to Mayhem, and if he thinks he wants this more than I do, once again, he's dead wrong.
“In his mind, he couldn't lose, despite the deck being so clearly stacked against him. Everyone else can see that very clearly, but he can't, and that's what's going to make seeing him get bounced early that much sweeter.”
A crew member taps Smith on the shoulder, needing the chair he's sitting on. Smith obliges, rising to his full 6'8” height and dusting off his suit before looking at the camera one last time.
A.C.: “One year ago, I made the wrestling world take notice when nobody gave me anything resembling a chance. Now, I've made it back into Test for the Best, not as some figure in the background or fodder for a future champion, but, in my mind and the minds of the best fans anyone could ever as for, as one of the tournament's favorites.
“Going in, I have lots of respect, but no fear. Much like Bond in 'Casino Royale,' I will not shy away from doing the dirty work. I will not be intimidated by anyone saying I can't win. And I sure as HELL won't crumble in the face of overwhelming odds. Havok was right about one thing. There can only be one logical winner of this tournament from the Overdrive side of things. Only it's not him, and it's not Biggs or Gates, either.
“The name? Smith. A.C. Smith.”
Smith says the last line with a bit of a smirk, and as he exits to our left, our scene fades to black one last time.
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