MIA-02

[Evan De Parker]

And when the stakes are high...

I STAKEOUT FOR DAYS

Friday, June 28, 2013, 12:22am
Honolulu, Hawaii

Darkness.

”Every word that comes out of my mouth is an original thought from my head. Everything I do? I do it because I wanna do it, and whether the people that I do it for want to berate me, or blow the roof off the building-- I’m gonna keep doin’ me, until the day I die.

“And doin’ me means going onto become the greatest Overdrive Champion in the history of Action Packed Wrestling... Now, there’s a certain guy I’m talking to, and you know very well who you are, and I know very well how badly you want to beat me-- and, I know what you’re thinking, Broseph; you want to tell everybody how my lack of promotion has caused you to stop caring about this match, but I know that’s not the case. This ain’t my first rodeo.

“You talk about this match, and about me like I’m some kind of shiesty, despicable opponent, because when... When... I defeat you, and you take a spill from that overfed high horse of yours, you can cushion your landing with all the horse shit.

“I’m not gonna let that happen. Like I’ve told you: I’m gonna beat your ass like you want it.

“I’ve seen you on Twitter-- and I see that you can’t keep my name out of your mouth. I see you hopping on the balls of anyone and everyone that you even think has a problem with me. I see you shamelessly PROMOTING me. I see you PROMOTING the League. I see you doing my job for me, so tell me something-- why should I exert the energy responding to your empty threats and your jealous tirades when I can just sit back, post the letter ‘Q’, and watch you draw up conspiracy theories about it until you’re blue in the face? Hm?

“So, let’s make something abundantly clear, bub! You are a brilliant wrestler. I’ve seen you do things that some of the most talented people to waltz through this company have never been able to do. I’ve seen you take people like the Guv’Nor to the limit. I saw you beat my friend Buckson Gooch, damn-near into submission. I don’t like how you went about doing it, but you did it. I would’ve done the same thing.

“I also think you put your life in this business, and you do care about it. Truly, and I commend you for that.

“Unfortunately, I happen to think that all of your ideals are completely wrong, and the fact that you have to constantly borrow quotes and lines from a bum in some whack-job company that sits on the top of a ramp and bitches about his job all day, ’makes me sick’, as you like to say. Well... As you like to imitate.

"Before you step to me, I suggest you take all your 'pipebombs' and shove them back up your ass for safekeeping, because if you try to pull that hot garbage on me in my ring, it'll blow up in your face.

“You’re blatantly unoriginal, and that’s why regardless of what happens on June 30th in Orlando, the dreams you’ve had of success and grandeur in this company WILL come to a slow, painful, torturous end. There's no reason to put stock in you. Your shelf-life is limited! You like to throw out words like ’phoney’, which is interesting, because THAT, itself, is a word you borrowed from someone else, and you know exactly what I’m talking about!

“Everything I say... Is original. Evan Envi is an original, and I’ve worked my ass off since I was a child to make a name for MYSELF and overshadow the success of my family, and I’ve done that in spectacular... Fashion. But you? What have you done besides make your family look like a joke on national television at your own expense? And BEING the guy that did that, what in the hell gives you the right to judge me on family?

“I slapped my sister in the face on an episode of Overdrive. For weeks, all she tried to do was help me, and I completely... I completely ruined our relationship for months. She sought revenge, and she got it. We mended our wounds. We put it behind us. I was wrong for what I did, but I did it. It’s in the past, and you shouldn’t worry about an incident between Sienna and I that occurred nine months ago. You should worry about what’s going to happen to your face in two days.

“...And don’t let my refusal to acknowledge the situation fool you. I watch you break my brother’s ankle every single day. I know you get off on hearing shit like that.

“But I watch. I watch you twist, and twist, and try to maim a man because of what his last name is... Because he was doing what he was told to do... And again, I don’t like it, but I might’ve done the same thing.

“I didn’t though.

“You did.

“You did it to my brother.

“And because of that, I’m going to break something of yours. I don’t know what it is yet, but we’ll both find out together at Test for the Best... And I hope you take that as an empty threat, because I would love to surprise you. I... I almost hope that you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into on Sunday, because I’m fittin’ to knock the everloving bejeezus out of you, boy, because I NEED for you to respect me. I so need it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get my dick hard again if I don’t see the look of pure horror, disappointment, and rejection on your face come Sunday night.

“Rejected by these fans that you revile so much.

“Rejected by the Megastars of tomorrow that see you as this false Prophet.

“Rejected by the Lady... Lady Overdrive.”

Finally, after what seems like minutes, we blink into a world of color. Evan Envi sits before us, in the same place he was when we last saw him on camera, albeit, in different attire-- and a considerably more impressive tan.

The story, however, lies not in his flesh, but in the large championship belt he carries in his left hand, raising it once, and for several seconds to display it to the camera and his opponent-- Lady Overdrive.

He lowers it onto his lap, looking down at the Overdrive Title belt in silence for a few moments before he grins.

”If you don’t want the Lady, then you have no chance of winning this match. There are quite a few reasons as to why I want to fight you, but this is the reason I want to hurt you.”

To emphasize “this”, Evan gestures toward the belt again.

”I know that you’re all over the place, and you stumble over your own words when you talk, but I’d like to consider myself something of an empath. I can just feel people. I feel, you, bruh. And I KNOW you want this match as much as I do. I know you like a good fight just as much as the next guy-- and you’re gonna get all that, and then some.”

Evan leans back in his chair, and his face suddenly goes from non-chalant, to sour, to cross.

”Oh. And, Mee-Shell... You ever speak the names of my children again, I will make sure that you hate every moment you spend in this company, and I’ll step on your toes and your fingers, and do whatever I have to do to absolutely ruin your entire life. That is a threat. That is also a promise.

“...So let’s move away from the subject of family. Let’s talk about friends. Let’s talk about something that you seem to have a problem with.”

Evan pauses and sits, drumming his fingers along the platinum of Lady Overdrive.

”You seem to think that everybody that teases you, or makes fun of you, or degrades you, or even dislikes you, is somehow a close associate of mine. You think that I have nothing better to do than sit around and plot against you. And I admit, my track record looks bad, considering the things I’ve done to people like A.C. Smith... To John Dionysus... To my own sister...

“But all of those people are leaps and bounds more important than you, and they aren’t even former APW World Champions! They’re just people that the fans have connected with because they’re real and because they give the people what they want... Real Wrestling.

“I stabbed them in the back, and I used them to my advantage when I could, because I had to. I had to.

“There was no way that Evan Envi in June 2012 would’ve become the Evan Envi you see in June 2013 without stepping on the little guy-- without catapulting himself past future Hall of Famers like Smith, and completely eradicating enigmas like John Dionysus. Sometimes you need to do some dirty things to get to the top, and I wouldn’t take any of it back for anything, but...

“...But you’re not them.”

Evan laughs a bit, and merely offers a shrug toward the viewer.

“I never considered you to be worth the time, man, and it’s not because you’re an unworthy opponent-- because I’d like to think that you are. You’re simply not worth it because you’ve already beaten yourself. You think that you’re this huge Megastar, and this huge entity that you’re just not yet, and maybe this is the night that you break through to the other side of this wall you’ve hit... But I doubt it. I expect to walk into the Amway Center with Lady Overdrive wrapped firmly around my waist, and leave the same way, even if I have to have the entire League of Extraordinary Wrestlers help me to the back.

“I’m sure you’ll kick my ass in some capacity. I’m sure you’re gonna bust me wide open. You’re bigger than me. You’re certainly angrier than I am... But I’m a superior wrestler.

“I’m actually an extraordinary wrestler, and I’ll do anything it takes to defend... Her.”

CRASH!

Evan Envi springs to his feet, kicking the wooden stool backward. It crashes to the hardwood floor of the white-furnished room of the beach house, and he kneels down before the camera, once more, displaying the Overdrive Championship.

”We’re not quite fighting for the same reasons on Sunday. One of us is fighting for notoriety. For attention. For recognition.

“One of us is fighting for Lady Overdrive.

“But we’re both fighting for pride. We’re both fighting to see which one of us is the best, and... Boy, I gotta tell ya... The best is the guy setting the trends. Not the guy following them. You want a rebel? Look at Evan Envi before he made it.

“I was unhappy with my direction. For months, all I did was lose. For months, I sat on my hands and watched while people like Kurt Noble and Level One stole the show, night after night, and I wasn’t happy with waiting. I lashed out on management, and on the fans, and some of them still resent me for it. The reactions are mixed-- but that’s too much for you. You think that because there are Envi supporters out there, that I’ve somehow manipulated and swayed the masses.

“I’m not an anarchist, sir. I don’t want the establishment that’s feeding me and my children to crumble to the ground.

“I’m a businessman. At the end of the day, I do care more about my best interests than anybody else’s... And that’s not because I’m a bad person; it’s because I’m a human being. In the past, I hurt people to get what I want-- but now-- now I don’t necessarily have to do that. Now I have a support system on the inside. Now I’m the person that I always fought against, but now I see why those people were driven insane... And driven to hate the people... And I’ve watched great men succumb to the evils of fame and endorsement, and I won’t let it happen to me.

“I will run this company.

“One day, it’ll all be mine. Know why?

“Hard work.

“All day, hard work.

“I’m a company man, and I never had to kiss ass to get where I am. All I did was remain loyal in the face of adversity when APW finally gave me an inch and granted me a championship match against Mark Mania at Rasslemania.

“I stuck my neck out for APW because they did it for me, and that’s something that you have NEVER been strong enough to do. I haven’t spoken a word to our president, Jeff, since March. If he endorses the League, then it’s not because of my influence. It’s because the League is that damned good, and it’s something that you don’t want to accept, because for once, FOR ONCE, I am not the man battling the company-- I’m not the man trying to kill my heroes and overthrow my superiors... For once, the company’s got Evan Envi’s back, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t give a damn what you think, or if it’s the ‘hip’ thing to do. If you haven’t noticed, my career wasn’t exactly built by going with the popular decision-- a trend that continues now, apparently.

“But you think the support of President Jeff is something I should feel guilty about? Bitch, please.

“I think it’s about damned time. Finally, the company realizes that it should invest its airtime and its money in the BEST, and if you think that I’m anything other than that, then I implore you-- please, knock my fuckin’ block off.

“Humble me.

“Break me.

“Drag my carcass out of the ring, and throw it into that inevitable section of the crowd that’s going to be chanting ENVI SUCKS the entire time I’m out there. Let them have their way with me.

“...But to do that, you’re gonna have to beat me. You’re going to have to beat an original.

“I’ve never held a World Championship. I’ve never sold out an arena by myself. I’ve never headlined a Pay-Per-View event, so this match means more to me than you realize. I can TASTE the glory, and you’re standing right in my way. You want to take away everything I’ve spent six and a half years of my professional life working for, before I even hit my prime.

“Lady Overdrive is the most prestigious thing I have besides my own name. You’ll have to beat me within an inch of my life to take her away, and I won’t let that happen.

“This Sunday, me and you... We’re gonna find out a lot about ourselves.

“I promise you... You’re not gonna like what you find.”

For a moment after saying this, Evan sways unsteadily, rolling from his toes to his heels, before rising to his feet. He looks down at the camera, which no longer shows his face due to the height difference...

Evan hugs the Overdrive Championship to his chest for a moment before he lowers it to his waist, and carefully ties the title belt around himself. He stands before the camera, a frozen, haunting image of pride. A gust of wind penetrates the guest house through an open window adjacent to our subject, and his shirt ruffles through the wind. Even his shorts sway-- but Lady Overdrive remains true, unmoving, staring down at us with a sense of superiority.

Finally, Envi pivots and makes his way out of the house, pulling open the door, and stepping out into night. He closes the door behind him, and we zoom in... We zoom into the closed door, before we slowly fade to black.

Fall back, bitch...

I GOT A LOT ON MY PLATE

Friday, June 28, 2013, 10:10am
Honolulu, Hawaii

We blink into color, on the image of Jenny Knite sitting, one knee hugged to her body, with another leg extended lazily across a recliner... As we pan away from her focused expression, we see that she’s painting her toenails, whistling an unfamiliar folk tone as she does so. Evan Envi, from across the room glances away from his current occupation-- a crossword puzzle clipped from a local newspaper-- and gives her a dissatisfied shake of the head.

”All the money I pay you, and you’re doing your own nails? What iiiiis this?”

”Call me old fashioned...”

Evan continues to watch her for a few moments before placing his crossword puzzle to the table and beginning to work through the clues. Jenny’s eyes rise, away from her nails, and up toward Evan.

”How much thought have you been giving this match against Jennings? And-- and do not play the ‘I don’t know who you’re talking about’ bullshit. You have no idea how nervous I am.”

”Nervous! Ludicrous! Nervous for the other guy, you mean...”

”No. For you. I know we joke, and I know Jennings runs off at the mouth a lot... But, dude, you totally need to look at this guy for what he is: a freaking psychopath. He might not want to be the next Overdrive Champion. He might not even care about winning this match. But he wants to hurt you, and make an example out of you.

“And as much as it annoys me to have to say it, he raises a valid point; you haven’t been preparing for this, or training in a manner that I’ve seen you train for any wrestling match. You’ve been surfing... And playing golf... And you’ve done enough word-finds and crossword puzzles to create a novel based on the answers. But you haven’t hit the gym. You haven’t been in the ring. You haven’t even said his NAME.”

”I don’t need to say his name.”

”Ugh, why not?!”

Evan looks at his agent with a calm expression in spite of her evident frustration. Jenny Knite’s face has turned red. She is gripping the nail polish in the manner that one might hold a weapon, prepared to bludgeon another.

”He’s a master of promotion. My Test for the Best opponent is the ideal salesman. Only thing he doesn’t sell is Lady Overdr--”

”So you’re taking him lightly? After EVERYTHING we talked about...”

”I’m not.”

Evan sighs and drops his pencil, placing it on top of the crossword. He rises to his feet and walks over to Jenny, extending his hand.

”Let’s go for a walk.”

Jenny stares at him in confusion for a few seconds, before blinking rapidly.

”Are you insane? I just finished my nails. There’s nothing but sand outside of this guest house!”

As if proof is needed, she gestures toward the pile of sand and consequential sandy footprints leading from the doorway to the area where their flip-flops were piled, inches from the carpet.

”And they look perfect, if I may say so myself.”

”Cool-- let’s mess ‘em up.”

”What the hell?!”

”Let’s go, go, go, go...!”

With a groan, Jenny allows herself to be pulled to her feet, lazily allowing the nail polish to tumble from the recliner to the floor. We cut to black.



Friday, June 28, 2013, 10:20am
Honolulu, Hawaii

Jenny Knite cringes and shoots our self-proclaimed “King of Overdrive” a dirty look as the sand sticks to her wet, hot-pink, and light-blue colored toenails. The water from the Hawaiian beaches wash over her feet, and pull bits of the sand, and spirals of color, snaking their way down the shoreline...

”I won’t forget this. Jerk.”

Evan smirks and kicks a clump of wet sand into the water.

”Wouldn’t expect you to. It’s not exactly your style.”

Jenny looks out into the ocean and crosses her arms.

”Are you sure you’re taking this as seriously as you should be? Like-- Evan, he’s dangerous. You won’t say his name... You won’t treat this match like it’s your last match ever, and one thing-- one thing you always told me, dude, is that you will go out there and wrestle every match like it’s your last.”

”And I intend to. I’m not taking anyone lightly... That, my friend, is not my style.”

”Then what’ve we been doing, Ev?!”

”We’ve been thinking. We’ve been planning. We’ve been preparing for what happens when I step toe to toe with a man that’s probably more unstable than Delikado and Aubrey J. Parker combined, on some of their worst days, alright?

“I know that I’m in the best physical shape of my life, and I’m going to hurt this man. I’m looking to break a bone or two. I’m looking to break some spirits, and I’m looking to make a statement in the way that I haven’t since I entered this company fifteen months ago. I no longer have that cool aura of being the untouchable new kid now. I can be beaten-- people have proven that. However, even the best stumble from time to time, and now... Now that I have more attention than ever before, that I didn’t even have to work for, I’m not looking to screw this up like I have in every company before me. AWA, ACW, SCW, I squandered golden opportunities because I choked.”

The cool, morning waves wash over their feet again. Jenny looks into Evan’s eyes, searching for some sort of inconsistency. Evan turns and kick another clump of wet sand into the water, idly.

”I was kept out of the Test for the Best tournament two years in a row. I’ve haven’t been given the opportunity to earn a shot at a World Title since 2008. You know who’s giving me that chance now? ...Sin City Wrestling. After I bailed on them. I bailed.

“And here I am in APW, and I’m looking to become the greatest champion in the company’s history.

"I may not be getting any World Title shots, but I think I’m doing a damn good job with what I’ve got, and fuck him for wanting to take that away from me. I’ll butcher him in that ring-- but even after that, I’ll be greeted with more success, and more pressure... And win or lose, I think that could be the case. Regardless of the result, I’m pressured to set the bar higher for myself.

“And higher.

“And higher...”

”So what Level One said all those months ago... About you being afraid to be the best... You wanna prove him right, huh?”

”No. Not this time around.”

Evan laughs a little and backs away from the water, sinking down to a seated position, digging his fingers into the sand. Jenny stares at him for a moment, but makes her way close to him and drops down, cross-legged.

For moments, she stares at Evan as Evan stares into the waves.

”We can’t play nice with these guys. These... Natural Born Killers.”

”I know.”

Evan is silent, again for a few moments.

”Are we still flying back to Florida in the morning?”

”...You are.”

Jenny’s face contorts with frustration.

”You can’t back out on this. After everything you said.”

She turns, glancing in the direction of a child’s laughter. She watches as tourists run into the water, yards away from them. Some of them stop and stare at the pair-- but most of them go about their days... Relaxing. Playing. Laughing in the sun with their families and their friends.

”You can’t stay in paradise forever. You have your own world that you need to go back to.

...That you need to save.”

She looks at Evan, but Evan continues staring into the waves... Into his “paradise” with an idle, but oddly cold smile.

And with that, Jenny turns too, watching as the waves crash into shore drifting closer, and closer to the two.

Dark.

M.I.A.