Post by chaos lite on Jun 29, 2013 19:35:54 GMT -4
jun.28.thirteen8:00pm
”Who’d be on top if Terry Marvin was dead?”
I’d said ”you” because- I don’t know. I wanted it to be a joke... a short, bad one...
”Let’s visit.”
”...thought we were just going to the gym tonight... Test for the Best preparations... ha, remember?”
There was this odd look she gave me, and it was quickly clear that there was no argument to be had here. There was nothing for me to convince Aubrey J. Parker of, because she’d already made her mind up... tonight, we were visiting Terry Marvin, but that isn’t the part that scared me-
She drew nearer to me, and she whispered for me to follow her... it was a whisper so delicate, and she moved away so quickly, and purposefully, that I felt obligated to follow her.
I wish I hadn’t.
I wish I hadn’t followed her out to the car.
And I wish, that instead of crying, and asking her ”what the fuck are you doing?” I had called Talon... Norman... Maggie... Terry- something, but I didn’t. I panicked, and I failed Aubrey.
My name is Cassandra McPherson, and it’s too late.
jun.28.thirteen8:12pm
”We can make it look like an accident.”
unspecified.unspecified
”Phate... Nunez... Sally... Gates... Marvin...
All of them have seen the finish line. All of them know what it’s like to cross it and feel that rush... to see the confetti fall, and know that they’re next in line for that shot at immortality- and I want that feeling. I want my name to light up in flames, and for flowers and streamer and balloons to drop down from the rafters in celebration of me.
Sometimes I get this weird feeling- and I hope I’m mistaken- that people think that when I say Test for the Best is my validation that it’s just some catchphrase...
I’m fully aware that there are nine other people in this tournament that have their own reasons for wanting to win, or even wanting to simply be here, and anybody, at any moment could halt this seemingly ENDLESS journey to the top that I’m on- and Sunday, there won’t be any dispute when it comes to who the best is...
Somebody that seems to truly believe they already are the best... and somebody that I’m really eager to prove wrong is former Test for the Best winner, former Undisputed Champion, CJ Gates- and he may not have said word-for-word that he’s the best in this tournament BUT he did say, confidently, that had it not been for ‘cheating’ occurring in his matches, he would be standing before us as the Undisputed Champion, or perhaps as the World Heavyweight Champion.
Ha, maybe both.
And it’s funny- because I happen to think that if Gates was half as good as he said he was, he would overcome those odds, and he would realize that as the gatekeeper of Action Packed Wrestling, he’s always got a target on his back. There’s always a bullseye on the back of his neck and until he retires, it’s going to stay there, whether he’s validated as the best, or not.
…
CJ. You asked why I regarded you as the ‘gatekeeper’ in spite of all your squandered opportunities and wasted chances.
It’s because... I’ve watched Overdrive and I’ve seen the talent that goes through there, and for over two years, nobody becomes a star without going through you.
Nobody.
People like our beloved Terry Marvin, and Kurt Noble, and Level One are huge names, and two of them are on top right now at your expense- because they silenced critics by defeating you, because for some reason, the brass in this company and the people filling the seats think that you’re some kind of a God, and I disagree, but I’m going to treat you like you’re one if I encounter you on Sunday, because- between us, I’ve always wanted to kill a God and send him crashing down to Earth.
To Hell.
I look at people like A.C. Smith, Evan Envi, Delikado, and I notice that they don’t have World Championship reigns, or top billing on every event card, because even though Smith holds an impressive victory over you. none of them have dominated you in the way that the best have... and I think a lot of it has to do with the pressure of going up against a guy that’s so good... but cleverly hides behind the illusion of greatness.
It’s a killer. Ha, you kill me.
Take Biggs, for example: he returned to action last year around the same time I started negotiating my contract, and he was hellbent on defeating you. His career depended on it! You hadn’t won Test for the Best, and you weren’t a champion... but he felt that he needed to defeat you. No matter who’d defeated Biggs in the past, and no matter who he wanted to redeem himself against, it was you he sought.
To be taken seriously here in APW, you need to be defeated, and conquered, and I’ll do that, CJ.
...Biggs, though- a win over you is just as crucial, and could be a key factor in winning the whole tournament because, like CJ, you know what it’s like to wear the Undisputed Title, and I know how badly you want that back. In fact, you’re probably more like your tag partner than I give you credit for; as good as the two of you are, these people will always regard you as great because of what you were able to do in the past.
That’s not to say you can’t reach greatness again, Biggs; I’m simply saying, you never had to contend with me before... and while I may not have had the same success you’ve had, yet, I’m willing to see how far I need to go to get there. I’m willing to find out if I need to hurt you to keep you down, like Level One had to hurt you.
I wonder if you’d fight the same against somebody like me, or Jace Savage, or Jair Hopkins- I wonder if you’d fight us like your whole fucking life depends on it. Is this tournament anywhere near as important to you as Level One, himself?
The accolade would be amazing, babydoll, but you know as well as I do, if you ever want a match with Level One, all you need to do is ask for it. He respects you. He’d love the chance to hurt you again...
I wonder if you’ll fight us with blood, pouring from a gash in the side of your fucking head, losing consciousness, ignoring the doctors, swinging, fighting until one of us has to cross the line and put you out of action for two months just like HE did, huh?
You want to get BACK to Level One, but I want to get there for the first time. One, Marvin; whoever has the title... it doesn’t matter to me. But I’ll get it by any means necessary, and I’ll bring a legacy to an end if I have to do it. I’ll look greatness in the eye, and I’ll strike it down.”
jun.28.thirteen8:19pm
”You can turn around.”
”I most certainly cannot!”
”What are you gonna do!?”
”We’re going to see.”
I’m not entirely sure where we were then. It was raining, and thunder rolled through the sky. It wasn’t normally completely black outside at this time... but there was a storm approaching.
Aubrey was cradling a black cloth, wrapped around something that I didn’t want to consider, to her lap with her left hand, driving casually with her right, a small grin on her face. She knew that I wasn’t going to ask her to elaborate, so she finished for me...
”We’re going to see what it’d be like without Terry.”
”That’s stupid. What do you think’s going to happen?”
I wanted her to tell me, aloud, what she was thinking about doing. I wanted it out.
”I think I’m going to change everything.”
”...Aubrey, you’ll throw everything away. That’s all.”
We pushed on through the night, through the rain. Static came in throughout the radio, and even at its low volume, it was deafening. The faint brake lights and tail lights of the cars before us, no matter how pale, were blinding. The world was spinning, and so was I.
unspecified.unspecified
”All some of us want to do is change the world.
I look at people like Jace Savage and Robina Hood and I see two people that have every chance to do that on Sunday. Robina has the opportunity to do something very similar to what I’m going to do, and that’s validate herself as exactly what she says she is... Perfect.
However, she’s basing every ideology of ‘Perfection’ off of somebody else’s dream... not her own. Within weeks of signing with APW, she's been nothing more than a glorified lapdog to Sienna Harrison, and as much time as she invests in Robina, and as much as she claims to care about her success- she can’t do it for her.
Robina is poised for success, but she can’t pull that trigger, because she’s been so sheltered on Meltdown, she doesn’t realize that on the other side of the mountain she needs to climb to win this tournament, is a sea of talent that’s waiting to rip her apart, and that’s not to say it’s an easy feat, because Robina can wrestle... Robina can fight.
But she’s not facing the likes of Niobe Martin and Yanzel Holmes here. She’s facing people like Aubrey J. Parker, and she’s delusional if she thinks that she is in a position to call anybody in this tournament ‘unimportant.’
Robina doesn’t understand herself.
I’ll remind her, when I expose her... not in the manner that she so frequently exposes herself to the audience, but I’ll expose her for the mediocre, flash-in-a-pan talent that she is, and send her packing back to Meltdown with a reinvigorated perspective on the world and a fire under her ass.
I plan on doing the same to you, Jace, and YOU... you want to change the world too.
Your own world- mostly.
You don’t like the relationship you have with your dad, and people outside of this business, and judging by how you came in, you don’t get along with the people in it either. You feel overshadowed and unappreciated. You feel... like you’re destined to be the underdog, and it’s a cute card to play. I get that, doll.
But here’s a tip: lose the cunt, grow some balls, and remove your head from your own ass long enough to realize that the reason you are an underdog is because you don’t have the mentality necessary to WIN Test for the Best. You cannot cut it.
You claim that I overlook you, but then you go on to say that I’m riding the coattails of Terry Marvin, and that as individuals, people like Kane, Logan, and I, are nothing. Despite the fact that we have JUST burst onto the scene, you claim that these people are SICK of the same old thing and they want to see- ha- they want to see you.
Fuck no.
These people don’t give a shit about ‘New Gen’ or whatever imaginary brotherhood you’ve formed. These people don’t care about Jason Savage, and the only reason the people care about you is because you’re good enough to raise the stakes, but at the end of the day, you never have the pressure on your shoulders of needing to win something like this, because nobody, in a million years, would ever expect you to.
You’re as delusional as Robina, and I’m not going to pat you on your fucking back for being the underdog with a set of brass balls. We already have one of those, and his name is Jair Hopkins, and I respect him a hell of a lot more than I respect you.
Despite the fact that I’m exponentially better than Jair, he knows what it’s like to come close to setting that next personal milestone, and then have it fall right from his grp. Hopkins knows what it’s like to fail, and that’s why on top of having something to work toward... he has something to run from.
...isn’t that right, Jair?
I mean- you’re really something.
You beat Reaver, and a former two time World Champion in Kash but you go into this, not expecting, but HOPING that the people from Overdrive and the New Sindicate are going to overlook you, and that you’re going to be surpassing expectations by sneaking out a win- and you couldn’t be more off track.
Logan, Christian, and I know that you’re a crafty, opportunistic son of a bitch, and hell... we don’t think you live in Bailey’s shadow, like you claim... we think you’re BETTER than him! We hold you in higher regard, because you’re the one always looking to evolve. Even during your stint in rehab, because that’s what the cool kids do these days, you were looking for that next goal.
I know you look back at moments like that TLC match with Jason Kash last year, where you came so close to becoming the new Suicidal Champion, but you just... you just choked. You couldn’t get it done when gold was looking back at you.
The thought of immortality scared the hell out of you. It froze you. And THAT was just the Suicidal Championship, so how are you going to do this on your own!? And how are you going to react when your opponents come at you full-force?
...I think people confuse you as inferior because you’re accustomed to looking at yourself like that, and I don’t care how good you are, or how many tag team matches you’ve defeated me in- I look at that weakness.
And in the Test, there’s no room for weakness.
I will not relent. I will hurt you to become the best!
I’ll look the future in the eyes and I WILL strike it down.”
jun.28.thirteen8:38pm
Surreality.
I was haunted by my own thoughts, and my own fears, and feeling this hole in my stomach as Aubrey, so casually, allowed her car to be driven off by a valet.
I caught a glimpse.
I caught a glimpse of the black, small, ugly handgun that she’d concealed in that cloth, and I didn’t speak, because like, what the fuck is she going to do with a gun? I knew, and she told me in her vague but effective way, and I kept pushing it out, until we got there, and she handed the valet these papers...
...I believe she’d addressed herself as Maggie Marvin. I didn’t question it, but when I piled out of the car, I went pale.
The thought of what could be about to happen was making me sick.
She played it off. She said I was ill, and she took me by the hand, clutching her handbag to her side and I’m assuming that’s where the weapon was concealed.
Here we were, marching across the lot to the entrance of Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. It should’ve been welcoming, towering above us out of the ground with white walls, and a red roof made of brick. It was the kind of thing I had dreamed of as a child, and among other things, I know it was the type of thing that had captured Aubrey’s heart as well. It was like a symbol of utopia, but it was foreboding today. I don’t know what didn’t make me just turn and run the other way, and look for help, but before I knew it, we walked through those double doors, into the lobby.
The song... it was playing over the P.A. system as Aubrey reached into her handbag.
I jerked. I squeaked.
She merely received a card key, giving me an annoyed nudge and beckoning me to follow... to do the deed... and she pulled me onto the elevator.
”You don’t validate anything if you do this. You’ll be in jail within an hour.”
”...encased in immortality...”
”What?”
The elevator went upward. She closed her eyes. She smiled...
unspecified.unspecified
”Sometimes we hurt our friends to get what we want.
In this business, it happens often.
Logan and I fought in a way that nobody expected us to on Asylum, and he went on to beat nearly a dozen other guys to earn his way back into this tournament after I took him out with the Makeunder. Logan and I have always had a friendly rivalry, and that’s the way we’re going to keep it.
If it comes down to Alexander versus AJP on Sunday, then you can expect a classic, because that’s what we owe each other. That’s what we’ve taught each other.
Even if only one of us can win, we don’t do each other any favors by holding back, and the same goes for Christian. The fact that the entire New Sindicate made it into this tournament isn’t a hindrance- it’s a testament to our skill, and determination, not only as a team, but as individuals. At the end of the night, only one person can be regarded as the best. That one person will be a member of the New Sindicate.
...that person’s going to be me. I’ll look friendship right in the eye... and I will... will strike it down.
They know I’d kill for glory.”
jun.28.thirteen8:38pm
I think that horrifying fucking song was still playing, and it was all I could hear, trudging behind Aubrey, and I remember begging her to turn around- asking her if we could go back to our hotel. Asking her if we could just go to the gym like we'd planned.
I tried everything. I told her that she had Test for the Best to look forward to.
She had the rest of her career.
She had the rest of her life.
And then, like a horror movie, their angelic figures breezed around the corner at the end of the hallway, like fucking clockwork.
Terry whisked his wife into his arms. Both of them were dressed in all white. She lifted him up, arms around her waist, and he kissed her... and I looked at Aubrey, and I saw her reach into her purse, and collect that cloth.
Beyond Gates, Biggs, Hopkins, Savage, Hood, Kane, Havok, Alexander, and Smith, there was Terry Marvin.
Marvin was her goal, and she wasn't waiting for August.
He froze- he turned and looked, and Maggie did too. Their looks of joy were replaced by looks of confusion.
Maggie's face fell to horror as the cloth fell from Aubrey's hand, and from the gun...
...and that gunshot was louder than anything I've ever heard...
...and I couldn't scream. I could only hold myself, falling to my knees, watching as the cloth fell, and fell... until it finally hit the floor.
And then there was silence.
unspecified.unspecified
”I’d kill to be the best.
I believe you, Nathaniel, when you say you love wrestling more than anything, and that YOU believe no one’s getting past you on Sunday, but I don’t think you’ve got a realistic idea of how to obtain what you want. I don’t think the fact that you associate yourself with Envikado changes the simple fact that in spite of your talent, you’re just not the guy, and your refusal to try anything new, in, or out of the ring, aside from the people you rub elbows with... it’ll kill you before I get a chance to.
You want to continue this ‘legacy’ you think you have, and you truly believe that you’re guaranteed to win.
Whereas Biggs and Gates are fighting to get back to a man that took glory from them, you’re trying to reach REAL glory for the first time.
I want to reiterate that your World Heavyweight Title reign was screwy. It’s not memorable. It’s hardly recognizable, even on paper, and you’re far from the favorite here.
You’re making the same mistakes as usual! You underestimate everybody around you. You try to downplay the skills of your biggest threats so you can convince yourself that you’re on a level that you’re not.
You hid behind a mask and pretended to be Tuhoa Valo, and for months, you received countless opportunities to win the North American Title. But you couldn’t. You were never good enough. You couldn’t beat Logan- you couldn’t even beat Christian, and the trend continued when you ditched the paint, going to Overdrive. You promised legions that you’d win the Xtreme Title at Mayhem, but you couldn’t. You underestimated your opponent, again, and it cost you.
But you still think you’re the best.
...still so full of yourself.
You’re not extraordinary. You’re not enforcing anything. All you are, is Nathaniel Havok, and we’ll all find out if that’s actually good enough- GREAT ENOUGH- to win on Sunday.
…
Brings me to you, Smith.
You’re one of the main reasons I ever started doing this... telling me that I was worthless, and that I knew nothing of a business I’d respected since before you were even a part of it.
I was young, and stupid, but you never gave me credit. You NEVER did ANYTHING but try to break me down, and I want you to die for it, but beyond that- I want to be the killer.
I don’t like it when you succeed, and I lose nothing by admitting it. You’re not a horrible person because of revisionist’s history- you’re not horrible because you stood up to me when I was on a high horse I, admittedly, didn’t belong on, but you led the masses to berate me and harass me when all I wanted to do was wrestle.
I know you see this Test as your own personal redemption story. I know you THINK there’s no fucking way anybody could have more to gain from this than you.
I know you think you’re right on the edge of immortality.
It’s a perfect story; twice, you fail, and twice, you win your way back into this tournament, and the second time, after epic battles with people like Marvin, and Gates, you FINALLY break through that glass ceiling and you finally find yourself in the seat you’ve wanted to be in since you came into APW- you find yourself in the finals of Test for the Best.
You’re about to validate yourself. Your self-righteousness has paid off; your hard work has all come down to this one moment...
…
AND THEN I STRIKE IT DOWN.
Because NOTHING is above the New Sindicate.
Nothing. Above. Aubrey.
I’ll do things to you that you’ve only had nightmares about. I’ll take every hard, powerful, champion-like blow you’re willing to throw at me, and I’ll give it back, by any means necessary.
I’ll look you in the eye.
And I’ll win Test for the Best.”
jun.28.thirteen8:00pm
”Who’d be on top if Terry Marvin was dead?”
I looked at her, from my APW magazine. She was sweating. Her hands were shaking; she had a look in her eye that I’d never had to respond to. I don’t know what had just gone through my best friend’s head, but I smirked.
”Who knows? Why don’t you go shoot him or something, and find out.”
I scoffed, to let her know I was joking. The crazy bitch just might do it!
”You’d be.”
I watched her.
I could tell- her thoughts were still racing. I smiled, though. The tournament had her worked up. Her mind was cluttered with nonsense. Her mind jumped ahead to the Undisputed Championship, and wild surrounding scenarios.
Kid had a wild imagination.
fin.
”Who’d be on top if Terry Marvin was dead?”
I’d said ”you” because- I don’t know. I wanted it to be a joke... a short, bad one...
”Let’s visit.”
”...thought we were just going to the gym tonight... Test for the Best preparations... ha, remember?”
There was this odd look she gave me, and it was quickly clear that there was no argument to be had here. There was nothing for me to convince Aubrey J. Parker of, because she’d already made her mind up... tonight, we were visiting Terry Marvin, but that isn’t the part that scared me-
She drew nearer to me, and she whispered for me to follow her... it was a whisper so delicate, and she moved away so quickly, and purposefully, that I felt obligated to follow her.
I wish I hadn’t.
I wish I hadn’t followed her out to the car.
And I wish, that instead of crying, and asking her ”what the fuck are you doing?” I had called Talon... Norman... Maggie... Terry- something, but I didn’t. I panicked, and I failed Aubrey.
My name is Cassandra McPherson, and it’s too late.
jun.28.thirteen8:12pm
”We can make it look like an accident.”
unspecified.unspecified
”Phate... Nunez... Sally... Gates... Marvin...
All of them have seen the finish line. All of them know what it’s like to cross it and feel that rush... to see the confetti fall, and know that they’re next in line for that shot at immortality- and I want that feeling. I want my name to light up in flames, and for flowers and streamer and balloons to drop down from the rafters in celebration of me.
Sometimes I get this weird feeling- and I hope I’m mistaken- that people think that when I say Test for the Best is my validation that it’s just some catchphrase...
I’m fully aware that there are nine other people in this tournament that have their own reasons for wanting to win, or even wanting to simply be here, and anybody, at any moment could halt this seemingly ENDLESS journey to the top that I’m on- and Sunday, there won’t be any dispute when it comes to who the best is...
Somebody that seems to truly believe they already are the best... and somebody that I’m really eager to prove wrong is former Test for the Best winner, former Undisputed Champion, CJ Gates- and he may not have said word-for-word that he’s the best in this tournament BUT he did say, confidently, that had it not been for ‘cheating’ occurring in his matches, he would be standing before us as the Undisputed Champion, or perhaps as the World Heavyweight Champion.
Ha, maybe both.
And it’s funny- because I happen to think that if Gates was half as good as he said he was, he would overcome those odds, and he would realize that as the gatekeeper of Action Packed Wrestling, he’s always got a target on his back. There’s always a bullseye on the back of his neck and until he retires, it’s going to stay there, whether he’s validated as the best, or not.
…
CJ. You asked why I regarded you as the ‘gatekeeper’ in spite of all your squandered opportunities and wasted chances.
It’s because... I’ve watched Overdrive and I’ve seen the talent that goes through there, and for over two years, nobody becomes a star without going through you.
Nobody.
People like our beloved Terry Marvin, and Kurt Noble, and Level One are huge names, and two of them are on top right now at your expense- because they silenced critics by defeating you, because for some reason, the brass in this company and the people filling the seats think that you’re some kind of a God, and I disagree, but I’m going to treat you like you’re one if I encounter you on Sunday, because- between us, I’ve always wanted to kill a God and send him crashing down to Earth.
To Hell.
I look at people like A.C. Smith, Evan Envi, Delikado, and I notice that they don’t have World Championship reigns, or top billing on every event card, because even though Smith holds an impressive victory over you. none of them have dominated you in the way that the best have... and I think a lot of it has to do with the pressure of going up against a guy that’s so good... but cleverly hides behind the illusion of greatness.
It’s a killer. Ha, you kill me.
Take Biggs, for example: he returned to action last year around the same time I started negotiating my contract, and he was hellbent on defeating you. His career depended on it! You hadn’t won Test for the Best, and you weren’t a champion... but he felt that he needed to defeat you. No matter who’d defeated Biggs in the past, and no matter who he wanted to redeem himself against, it was you he sought.
To be taken seriously here in APW, you need to be defeated, and conquered, and I’ll do that, CJ.
...Biggs, though- a win over you is just as crucial, and could be a key factor in winning the whole tournament because, like CJ, you know what it’s like to wear the Undisputed Title, and I know how badly you want that back. In fact, you’re probably more like your tag partner than I give you credit for; as good as the two of you are, these people will always regard you as great because of what you were able to do in the past.
That’s not to say you can’t reach greatness again, Biggs; I’m simply saying, you never had to contend with me before... and while I may not have had the same success you’ve had, yet, I’m willing to see how far I need to go to get there. I’m willing to find out if I need to hurt you to keep you down, like Level One had to hurt you.
I wonder if you’d fight the same against somebody like me, or Jace Savage, or Jair Hopkins- I wonder if you’d fight us like your whole fucking life depends on it. Is this tournament anywhere near as important to you as Level One, himself?
The accolade would be amazing, babydoll, but you know as well as I do, if you ever want a match with Level One, all you need to do is ask for it. He respects you. He’d love the chance to hurt you again...
I wonder if you’ll fight us with blood, pouring from a gash in the side of your fucking head, losing consciousness, ignoring the doctors, swinging, fighting until one of us has to cross the line and put you out of action for two months just like HE did, huh?
You want to get BACK to Level One, but I want to get there for the first time. One, Marvin; whoever has the title... it doesn’t matter to me. But I’ll get it by any means necessary, and I’ll bring a legacy to an end if I have to do it. I’ll look greatness in the eye, and I’ll strike it down.”
jun.28.thirteen8:19pm
”You can turn around.”
”I most certainly cannot!”
”What are you gonna do!?”
”We’re going to see.”
I’m not entirely sure where we were then. It was raining, and thunder rolled through the sky. It wasn’t normally completely black outside at this time... but there was a storm approaching.
Aubrey was cradling a black cloth, wrapped around something that I didn’t want to consider, to her lap with her left hand, driving casually with her right, a small grin on her face. She knew that I wasn’t going to ask her to elaborate, so she finished for me...
”We’re going to see what it’d be like without Terry.”
”That’s stupid. What do you think’s going to happen?”
I wanted her to tell me, aloud, what she was thinking about doing. I wanted it out.
”I think I’m going to change everything.”
”...Aubrey, you’ll throw everything away. That’s all.”
We pushed on through the night, through the rain. Static came in throughout the radio, and even at its low volume, it was deafening. The faint brake lights and tail lights of the cars before us, no matter how pale, were blinding. The world was spinning, and so was I.
unspecified.unspecified
”All some of us want to do is change the world.
I look at people like Jace Savage and Robina Hood and I see two people that have every chance to do that on Sunday. Robina has the opportunity to do something very similar to what I’m going to do, and that’s validate herself as exactly what she says she is... Perfect.
However, she’s basing every ideology of ‘Perfection’ off of somebody else’s dream... not her own. Within weeks of signing with APW, she's been nothing more than a glorified lapdog to Sienna Harrison, and as much time as she invests in Robina, and as much as she claims to care about her success- she can’t do it for her.
Robina is poised for success, but she can’t pull that trigger, because she’s been so sheltered on Meltdown, she doesn’t realize that on the other side of the mountain she needs to climb to win this tournament, is a sea of talent that’s waiting to rip her apart, and that’s not to say it’s an easy feat, because Robina can wrestle... Robina can fight.
But she’s not facing the likes of Niobe Martin and Yanzel Holmes here. She’s facing people like Aubrey J. Parker, and she’s delusional if she thinks that she is in a position to call anybody in this tournament ‘unimportant.’
Robina doesn’t understand herself.
I’ll remind her, when I expose her... not in the manner that she so frequently exposes herself to the audience, but I’ll expose her for the mediocre, flash-in-a-pan talent that she is, and send her packing back to Meltdown with a reinvigorated perspective on the world and a fire under her ass.
I plan on doing the same to you, Jace, and YOU... you want to change the world too.
Your own world- mostly.
You don’t like the relationship you have with your dad, and people outside of this business, and judging by how you came in, you don’t get along with the people in it either. You feel overshadowed and unappreciated. You feel... like you’re destined to be the underdog, and it’s a cute card to play. I get that, doll.
But here’s a tip: lose the cunt, grow some balls, and remove your head from your own ass long enough to realize that the reason you are an underdog is because you don’t have the mentality necessary to WIN Test for the Best. You cannot cut it.
You claim that I overlook you, but then you go on to say that I’m riding the coattails of Terry Marvin, and that as individuals, people like Kane, Logan, and I, are nothing. Despite the fact that we have JUST burst onto the scene, you claim that these people are SICK of the same old thing and they want to see- ha- they want to see you.
Fuck no.
These people don’t give a shit about ‘New Gen’ or whatever imaginary brotherhood you’ve formed. These people don’t care about Jason Savage, and the only reason the people care about you is because you’re good enough to raise the stakes, but at the end of the day, you never have the pressure on your shoulders of needing to win something like this, because nobody, in a million years, would ever expect you to.
You’re as delusional as Robina, and I’m not going to pat you on your fucking back for being the underdog with a set of brass balls. We already have one of those, and his name is Jair Hopkins, and I respect him a hell of a lot more than I respect you.
Despite the fact that I’m exponentially better than Jair, he knows what it’s like to come close to setting that next personal milestone, and then have it fall right from his grp. Hopkins knows what it’s like to fail, and that’s why on top of having something to work toward... he has something to run from.
...isn’t that right, Jair?
I mean- you’re really something.
You beat Reaver, and a former two time World Champion in Kash but you go into this, not expecting, but HOPING that the people from Overdrive and the New Sindicate are going to overlook you, and that you’re going to be surpassing expectations by sneaking out a win- and you couldn’t be more off track.
Logan, Christian, and I know that you’re a crafty, opportunistic son of a bitch, and hell... we don’t think you live in Bailey’s shadow, like you claim... we think you’re BETTER than him! We hold you in higher regard, because you’re the one always looking to evolve. Even during your stint in rehab, because that’s what the cool kids do these days, you were looking for that next goal.
I know you look back at moments like that TLC match with Jason Kash last year, where you came so close to becoming the new Suicidal Champion, but you just... you just choked. You couldn’t get it done when gold was looking back at you.
The thought of immortality scared the hell out of you. It froze you. And THAT was just the Suicidal Championship, so how are you going to do this on your own!? And how are you going to react when your opponents come at you full-force?
...I think people confuse you as inferior because you’re accustomed to looking at yourself like that, and I don’t care how good you are, or how many tag team matches you’ve defeated me in- I look at that weakness.
And in the Test, there’s no room for weakness.
I will not relent. I will hurt you to become the best!
I’ll look the future in the eyes and I WILL strike it down.”
nights in white satin...
never reaching the end
never reaching the end
jun.28.thirteen8:38pm
Surreality.
I was haunted by my own thoughts, and my own fears, and feeling this hole in my stomach as Aubrey, so casually, allowed her car to be driven off by a valet.
I caught a glimpse.
I caught a glimpse of the black, small, ugly handgun that she’d concealed in that cloth, and I didn’t speak, because like, what the fuck is she going to do with a gun? I knew, and she told me in her vague but effective way, and I kept pushing it out, until we got there, and she handed the valet these papers...
...I believe she’d addressed herself as Maggie Marvin. I didn’t question it, but when I piled out of the car, I went pale.
The thought of what could be about to happen was making me sick.
She played it off. She said I was ill, and she took me by the hand, clutching her handbag to her side and I’m assuming that’s where the weapon was concealed.
Here we were, marching across the lot to the entrance of Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. It should’ve been welcoming, towering above us out of the ground with white walls, and a red roof made of brick. It was the kind of thing I had dreamed of as a child, and among other things, I know it was the type of thing that had captured Aubrey’s heart as well. It was like a symbol of utopia, but it was foreboding today. I don’t know what didn’t make me just turn and run the other way, and look for help, but before I knew it, we walked through those double doors, into the lobby.
The song... it was playing over the P.A. system as Aubrey reached into her handbag.
I jerked. I squeaked.
She merely received a card key, giving me an annoyed nudge and beckoning me to follow... to do the deed... and she pulled me onto the elevator.
”You don’t validate anything if you do this. You’ll be in jail within an hour.”
”...encased in immortality...”
”What?”
The elevator went upward. She closed her eyes. She smiled...
unspecified.unspecified
”Sometimes we hurt our friends to get what we want.
In this business, it happens often.
Logan and I fought in a way that nobody expected us to on Asylum, and he went on to beat nearly a dozen other guys to earn his way back into this tournament after I took him out with the Makeunder. Logan and I have always had a friendly rivalry, and that’s the way we’re going to keep it.
If it comes down to Alexander versus AJP on Sunday, then you can expect a classic, because that’s what we owe each other. That’s what we’ve taught each other.
Even if only one of us can win, we don’t do each other any favors by holding back, and the same goes for Christian. The fact that the entire New Sindicate made it into this tournament isn’t a hindrance- it’s a testament to our skill, and determination, not only as a team, but as individuals. At the end of the night, only one person can be regarded as the best. That one person will be a member of the New Sindicate.
...that person’s going to be me. I’ll look friendship right in the eye... and I will... will strike it down.
They know I’d kill for glory.”
jun.28.thirteen8:38pm
I think that horrifying fucking song was still playing, and it was all I could hear, trudging behind Aubrey, and I remember begging her to turn around- asking her if we could go back to our hotel. Asking her if we could just go to the gym like we'd planned.
I tried everything. I told her that she had Test for the Best to look forward to.
She had the rest of her career.
She had the rest of her life.
And then, like a horror movie, their angelic figures breezed around the corner at the end of the hallway, like fucking clockwork.
Terry whisked his wife into his arms. Both of them were dressed in all white. She lifted him up, arms around her waist, and he kissed her... and I looked at Aubrey, and I saw her reach into her purse, and collect that cloth.
Beyond Gates, Biggs, Hopkins, Savage, Hood, Kane, Havok, Alexander, and Smith, there was Terry Marvin.
Marvin was her goal, and she wasn't waiting for August.
He froze- he turned and looked, and Maggie did too. Their looks of joy were replaced by looks of confusion.
Maggie's face fell to horror as the cloth fell from Aubrey's hand, and from the gun...
...and that gunshot was louder than anything I've ever heard...
...and I couldn't scream. I could only hold myself, falling to my knees, watching as the cloth fell, and fell... until it finally hit the floor.
And then there was silence.
unspecified.unspecified
”I’d kill to be the best.
I believe you, Nathaniel, when you say you love wrestling more than anything, and that YOU believe no one’s getting past you on Sunday, but I don’t think you’ve got a realistic idea of how to obtain what you want. I don’t think the fact that you associate yourself with Envikado changes the simple fact that in spite of your talent, you’re just not the guy, and your refusal to try anything new, in, or out of the ring, aside from the people you rub elbows with... it’ll kill you before I get a chance to.
You want to continue this ‘legacy’ you think you have, and you truly believe that you’re guaranteed to win.
Whereas Biggs and Gates are fighting to get back to a man that took glory from them, you’re trying to reach REAL glory for the first time.
I want to reiterate that your World Heavyweight Title reign was screwy. It’s not memorable. It’s hardly recognizable, even on paper, and you’re far from the favorite here.
You’re making the same mistakes as usual! You underestimate everybody around you. You try to downplay the skills of your biggest threats so you can convince yourself that you’re on a level that you’re not.
You hid behind a mask and pretended to be Tuhoa Valo, and for months, you received countless opportunities to win the North American Title. But you couldn’t. You were never good enough. You couldn’t beat Logan- you couldn’t even beat Christian, and the trend continued when you ditched the paint, going to Overdrive. You promised legions that you’d win the Xtreme Title at Mayhem, but you couldn’t. You underestimated your opponent, again, and it cost you.
But you still think you’re the best.
...still so full of yourself.
You’re not extraordinary. You’re not enforcing anything. All you are, is Nathaniel Havok, and we’ll all find out if that’s actually good enough- GREAT ENOUGH- to win on Sunday.
…
Brings me to you, Smith.
You’re one of the main reasons I ever started doing this... telling me that I was worthless, and that I knew nothing of a business I’d respected since before you were even a part of it.
I was young, and stupid, but you never gave me credit. You NEVER did ANYTHING but try to break me down, and I want you to die for it, but beyond that- I want to be the killer.
I don’t like it when you succeed, and I lose nothing by admitting it. You’re not a horrible person because of revisionist’s history- you’re not horrible because you stood up to me when I was on a high horse I, admittedly, didn’t belong on, but you led the masses to berate me and harass me when all I wanted to do was wrestle.
I know you see this Test as your own personal redemption story. I know you THINK there’s no fucking way anybody could have more to gain from this than you.
I know you think you’re right on the edge of immortality.
It’s a perfect story; twice, you fail, and twice, you win your way back into this tournament, and the second time, after epic battles with people like Marvin, and Gates, you FINALLY break through that glass ceiling and you finally find yourself in the seat you’ve wanted to be in since you came into APW- you find yourself in the finals of Test for the Best.
You’re about to validate yourself. Your self-righteousness has paid off; your hard work has all come down to this one moment...
…
AND THEN I STRIKE IT DOWN.
Because NOTHING is above the New Sindicate.
Nothing. Above. Aubrey.
I’ll do things to you that you’ve only had nightmares about. I’ll take every hard, powerful, champion-like blow you’re willing to throw at me, and I’ll give it back, by any means necessary.
I’ll look you in the eye.
And I’ll win Test for the Best.”
just what you want to be
you’ll be in the end
you’ll be in the end
jun.28.thirteen8:00pm
”Who’d be on top if Terry Marvin was dead?”
I looked at her, from my APW magazine. She was sweating. Her hands were shaking; she had a look in her eye that I’d never had to respond to. I don’t know what had just gone through my best friend’s head, but I smirked.
”Who knows? Why don’t you go shoot him or something, and find out.”
I scoffed, to let her know I was joking. The crazy bitch just might do it!
”You’d be.”
I watched her.
I could tell- her thoughts were still racing. I smiled, though. The tournament had her worked up. Her mind was cluttered with nonsense. Her mind jumped ahead to the Undisputed Championship, and wild surrounding scenarios.
Kid had a wild imagination.
fin.
