Post by Nasir on Oct 26, 2008 21:11:04 GMT -4
ANTIQUES ROAD SHOW THEME TUNE -
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zhgygVAH6KQ
We open with a shot of the English countryside, the theme tune to ‘Antiques Road show’ plays (a TV programme from the UK, in which people meet antique experts and get items which they believe to be ‘antiques valued and learn a bit about them). The music ends and we are joined by Jason Ricochet complete with knitted blazer and fishing hat with a small red feather poking out of it. He is stood by the bank of a river over looking the surrounding countryside. It is a warm autumn’s day, which by any other countries standards is freezing, never the less he is equipped with a smile. As the water flows by and the birds sing loud and proud from the near by trees, he takes his wooden pipe out of his mouth, tipping its contents into the river. He is in the center of a huge ‘road show’ which is infested to the rim with OAP’s. They all clutch on to their ‘priceless’ possessions and queue in long single lines waiting to have them examined. Whilst all this goes on behind Jason he begins to speak as we sit, still taking it all in. He uses a sarcastic and mischievous tone.
Hello all! Today the sensational one finds himself amongst the locals, here on set of the biggest Antiques programme this side of the water! The people of Dorset have been here since dawn this morning, with anything and everything you could imagine. They stand here all day freezing their asses off in the hope that maybe; just maybe they have discovered a priceless antique! The same can be said for my opponents in the chamber, Twister clutches to his title desperate to keep hold of it, he is a targeted man out of all the competitors his bulls eyes is painted big and bright. Saying that this doesn’t mean that he will crumble, after all we joined forces a couple of weeks back and he demonstrated he is truly a good wrestler. Although the respect I have shown him ends abruptly there, nothing personal but he hold what I have the ‘priceless’ item if you would.
He tosses back a shoulder as thoughts flood through his mind, his previous involvement in the six man tag match replays through his already huge head.
Also in my corner during that six man tag match, was the incredibly annoying pain in the ass known by many as Arcadia. We have crossed paths a few times now in my short journey here in APW. It seems no matter how convincingly I put this ‘pain’ in her place, she always seems to return. I’ve even acquired medical advice in order to see if there is any cream or medicine available to rid me of this pain. It was to no avail though, so I used my head and took some advice off APW’s very own so called ‘Dr’ Matt and after a close analysis I’ve come to the conclusion that a dose of head shots, a couple of slams on the chambers merciless steel and maybe even a few sensational slams and a tear jerker or two will soon cure this pain! (Laughs)
He strokes his chin as he thinks even harder, as a thought pops into his head he grins waving his finger as if he has just had his needed number called in bingo.
I seem to recall a certain ‘Master Punishment’ being executed upon yours truly the other week; don’t think I’ve forgotten Matt. You sit there night after night drinking yourself stupid – slipping in and out of consciousness don’t get me wrong I like a drink just as much as the next guy. You though take ‘binge’ drinking to a whole new level sat there mouthing off about the reflection of perfection. Matt reminds me of one of those tramps you see infesting the sub-ways and city centers, them who sit begging for some change. Always having an excuse but never righting there wrongs you ask for chance after chance but then don’t do fuck all? You have a bigger battle on your hands than the chamber called ‘alcoholism’ a ten letter word that will forever make sure you never achieve fuck all. The sensational one will have to keep his distance from the doctor, not because of his ability or through fear but due to the stench of vodka or what ever he could get his hands on that will ooze from this sorry excuse of a ‘super star’.
He then shakes his head slowly in sorrow for Matt, he truly feels that he has a problem and is in need of some drastic help. He licks his lips before continuing.
So that’s three of my personal ‘top three’ on the hit list I’ve assembled ahead of this the biggest of big main events. Focusing away form this match for a second I noticed a lot of unrest amongst some people about me being entered? Saying I was handed a ‘bye card’ due to the sorry state of John Green’s career, to these people I say bullshit! He is way off top at the moment I will agree, but I began his demise when I the ‘unknown dark horse’ came from no where to the main event at the biggest event EVER here in APW. Exactly the momentum I need to win the title at One Night In Hell.
He now turns his attention to the other less known competitor in the chamber – Link.
There is one man who has thus far kept his mouth shut very wise I might add, so I still am not too informed about Link. Despite this I won’t hesitate for a second to drop him down with ease and pinned his shoulders for the three. You see although we faced each other in the six man tag you didn’t exactly play a big part, I mean you turned up and did a good job of looking interested as I single handedly dismantled your team. Eventually you got hit with an almighty Sensational Slam which still affects you tot his day. Ao you have a big hint that fucking with me isn’t too clever. Your ugly ass stood there searching for a tag and a chance to stamp your mark upon the entire APW world, fans and wrestlers included. Unfortunately for you it never came making you in my opinion thee ‘weakest link’ in the chamber match. Don’t panic though am sure you’ll be given some free merchandise to take home with you that will be worth a few bucks, especially my new range of shirts and caps. I would be more than happy to offer you some I mean we wouldn’t want you leaving Japan having gained or do fuck all would we?
He bursts into hysterics as he finishes discussing Link, and his possibilities. He calms himself and takes a much more serious tone as he changes topic once more.
That leaves just Sabur, this ugly son of a bitch may be big and brutal but this won’t count for shit in the device of destruction also known as the elimination chamber. You see we already know Sabur can wrestler he has bags of ability along with some pretty impressive muscles (coughs the word steroids). I mean it must have took a whole load of time and work to get in the ‘condition’ you currently are, but just as in the six man tag match it will soon take a nose dive. While you limp, bust open from ear to ear as a result of the punishment I deal out to you, I’ll be stood there waiting all handsome and sensational ready to put you out of your misery with a bone crunching Sensational slam. You will become just another statistic as I cruise to victory and therefore resuming my streak of having never being pinned.
He slowly makes his way up a short hill and closer towards the set of the show; he immediately intimidates the people around him with his shape and presence. They stand mouths wide open as he talks one final time.
So to the competitors in the chamber, you have the king of all mountains in front of you. It stands at six foot one inch, weighing just short of two hundred and fifty pounds. It is the biggest mountain you will attempt to climb, but just as the rest of you ‘average’ people you will fail and come crashing back down to earth.
The scene ends with Jason handling a vase that he snatched forma n elderly lady he spins it around in his hand amazed by its surprising light weight.
