Post by Evan De Parker on Oct 27, 2013 10:59:18 GMT -4
the world is closing in…
oct.27.thirteen6:45am
Maybe “6:45 A.M.” was inaccurate for my location. I was speaking purely in United States Pacific Time. To be honest with you, I didn’t know, nor care what time it was in little old Tokyo, Japan. It was nighttime; that I knew. I knew how many hours I had before I had to step into that… fucking Chamber, which just became more imposing, and more menacing with each minute that passed throughout the day. It grew heavier as it weighed on my mind. The Undisputed Title felt colder against my flesh as I carried it.
But this isn’t a story bathed in negativity, my friends. No, no… instead, this is a morality tale. This is the story of how through every hardship and disappointment I’ve endured over these hellacious few months in APW, where eeeeeverybody hates me… I persevered. I rose UP above the bullies, and the haters, and I became an inspiration; a role model to little girls and boys everywhere, winning the most prestigious championship in the wrestling world.
This isn’t only the story about how I became more than a hero. This is the story of how I found the one thing I needed… the one missing piece to the puzzle… the one thing that’ll preserve my longevity as the face of this company.
I found a friend in Tokyo.
aug.16.twelve2:22pm
”So how’d it go?!”
I glanced up at my friend of over twenty-one years as I pushed open the door to the Pleasanton apartment I shared with her… Cassandra. I remember being there every day… God… it’s a distant memory now. But then, it was just so familiar. I took three steps into the house and instinctively tossed my handbag to the right, where it landed in this plaid chair that didn’t match anything in our humble little abode, but we’d kept it for the three years we lived there. I looked up at Cassandra and didn’t even try to suppress a grin.
”It went well. Guess who the two newest additions to APW Monday Night Meltdown are.”
She shrieked. An outsider might think someone had been murdered, if they didn’t see Cassandra bouncing about with delight.
”You’re in?!”
”I’m in! Logan and I are both in!”
”Eeeeeohmygod! We have to call Austin, and Erik, and--”
”Let’s, uh… let’s keep this between us for a little bit. Until we actually know we’re gonna appear on TV, y’know?”
I shrugged, shaking my head at her.
”I don’t feel like getting dicked around again.”
”This isn’t gonna be like ACW. This is different. I sweartogod, you’re like, gonna win the Undisputed Championship. You’re gonna be fucking famous.”
I laughed a little at that one. I laughed, because I didn’t believe it.
”I’m glad you have such high hopes, Cass. Let’s not forget, I have to wrestle my way out of the shadow of the greeeaaat Logan Alexander, first, haha.”
She rolled her eyes.
”You guys are gonna do great. They’ll see both of you… and they’ll watch you both make it to the top. Together.”
If she was aiming to provoke a smile, she did.
”We’ll see what happens.”
”Together.”
Guess how many years those words played through my mind on repeat.
oct.27.thirteen6:55am
”I’m glad you came all the way out here. You don’t have… any idea how much this means to me.”
“Sister, to do anything less would tarnish my reputation in the eyes of the Father, in addition to contradicting the very call I’ve dedicated my life to.”
I sighed, looking at the man across from me. You don’t need any information on him. It’s not your fucking business.
”It’s really... really hard to stay in good spirits when I have grown men looking to just… jump me at every corner. It’s horrible knowing that everybody turned their back on you and just left you to the wolves. I feel really alone sometimes. And-- and I have Talon and my brother here in Tokyo with me, but sometimes I just walk to the gym by myself, and I start… I… I just start thinking about being locked in there with those people, and knowing that inside the walls, outside the walls, they all HATE me… they hate me…”
The man sitting across the room angled his head, but didn’t speak. I remember my breathing became more labored, as if on the verge of a panic attack… but as I looked back up toward him, I steadied. I remembered why we were here.
”The closer it gets-- like-- it’s today. It’s scary.”
“My child, your fear is understandable, especially with all that has befallen you recently. However, fear not, for the Lord God is a watchful shepherd who never turns his attention from any of the lambs in his flock.”
”Really?”
“It is not abnormal for your heart to harbor doubts. Unfortunately, this is part of the fatal predisposition that has afflicted man as long as he has walked this earth. And, when coupled with impatience, it serves to be quite the deadly cocktail… One that poisons every soul to its very core, whose only antidote is an unrelenting and intense faith.”
There was a pause.
”This, my child, would be a great place to start to remedy your situation.”
I smirked.
”Yeah, well, we’ve had a shotty relationship, at best.”
“Every relationship has its ups and downs. But unlike all others, the love of the Most High knows no bounds. That fact alone should be enough to inspire confidence.”
I looked down, lowering my gaze from the man in cloth across the room.
”I’m gonna more than just God if I’m gonna make it through this Chamber in one piece.”
With humble eyes and a quivering smile, I raised my eyes to meet his one last time.
”I need you.”
the future’s in the air…
unspecifiedunspecified
”I want someone to remind me again, why I’m the bad guy.
I’ve heard it all since the first day I got into a wrestling ring, alright? I’ve been told that I’m too small, or I’m too expectant, and I don’t have the right attitude-- I just don’t have what it takes to thrive in the world of wrestling. Despite all this, for the past three years, I’ve defied all expectations. I’ve put the world on notice at every turn, and no matter how much ridicule… no matter how much disrespect... I always managed to get exactly what I wanted, and THERE… that’s the problem.
I’m good at getting what I want. I’m SUCCESSFUL, and because of that, people feel the need to label me as a villain. I’m blamed for everybody else’s shortcomings, because as I said on here weeeeeks ago, it’s just easier to hate success. And everybody’s a fucking hypocrite, dude! Remember when management was royally FUCKING Logan and I over on Meltdown? They threw everybody at us… Christian Kane, Kaylyn James Evans, Robina Hood, Mannie-- they did everything they could to keep us down, and the fans… you fans ate it up! Youloved us! We were representatives of the working class. Management kept a foot on our back, and we were allowed to rise up… rise up JUUUUST enough to instill some hope in the people that rallied behind the underdog…
…but not enough. You see-- when they tried to split M&M up and sent me over to Asylum, I quickly realized that you people wanted to give me a ceiling. In my first match on Asylum I scored a World Heavyweight Title match against Sally Talfourd, and then what happened? You bastards reviled me! All I heard was that I didn’t deserve the opportunity. I was just some quiet bitch from Meltdown that smiled, and nodded, and did whatever I was asked to do, and I was ASKED to go out there and give Sally the fight of her life, but that’s not what you people wanted.
And you got your wish. I walked away without the World Title. To compensate for that, APW threw me into an Suicidal Title match with Jason Kash, and I won, and that, haha… that was a nice little title for good ol’ AJP, right? She’s a hard-working girl. She does what she’s told. She doesn’t bother anybody. She doesn’t rile anybody up! Let’s throw her a bone.
THAT was okay for you guys. As great of a Suicidal Champion as I was-- it didn’t carry the same responsibility and the same weight that the Undisputed Title does, and then… THEN I won the Tag Team Titles with Logan and I was a double champion, and suddenly the cheers kinda died down a little… people wondered who in the office I was sucking off to get shot, after shot, after shot, but nobody EVER thought to stop and consider that MAYBE I WAS JUST THE BEST..
Until now! Hahaha, NOW you all see it, but the thing is, you STILL can’t wrap your fucking heads around it. You still blindly cheer for Sally Talfourd, no matter how disenchanting, and no matter monotonous she is. You cheer for familiarity and you reject what you don’t know. For over four-hundred days, Terry Marvin waltzed through every major wrestling company under the sun with the APW Undisputed Title still in his hands, and after so long of seeing the same thing, you people just… you just forgot about all the lies, and the deception, and you started cheering for him! It was familiar! It was like some safe zone. You knew what to expect.
But I don’t provide that same warmth and comfort. I’m not Sally. I’m not Terry. I’m sure as hell not Blade… I know what I’m gonna do hours, maybe even days before I do it, but you people have no clue. You’ll never know what hit you. But you know someone… out of EVERYBODY, someone that might me coming? Hm?
Shadow.
Out of all of you, despite how Shadow talks down to women, and despite how delusional the Pity-Hall-of-Fame ring on his finger makes him, he’s gonna be the one that never takes his eye off of me during the course of this match, because above all of you, he knows what happens when he lets his guard down. He wasn’t able to walk for days because of me. He was embarrassed. He was concussed. He should’ve been fucking humbled because of me, but Shadow-- he’s a man of pride. Instead of admitting that he was trumped, and I USED HIM for momentum, he retaliated. He forgot his place, but he reacted like any respectable human being would.
What Shadow did two weeks ago on Asylum-- I had it coming. I admit it.
What he did to my baby though… what he did to my championship… that’s something I can’t let go. He defaced my property, and MAYBE if Shadow knew what it was like to work hard for something and actually have it… I dunno… pay off, then he’d understand how much something like this means. Instead, he’s jealous and bitter. Shadow’s in the Elimination Chamber because he has a personal vendetta against what used to be the New Sindicate. Because he wants to see me hurting, at his hands.
He might come close. He might get his hands on me…
…but at the end of the day, the fact is… Shadow’s not in the Elimination Chamber because he’s the best. He could never beat me. He could never beat Terry, and if October 13th was any indication, he can’t beat Mannie or Sally, so WHO KNOWS how long he’s gonna make it in there!
It’s a battle of longevity, people! It’s about who can go the distance. God… it’s… ALARMING to realize that I’m at such a statistical disadvantage here. Blade has been around the block. He’s seen basically every match there is to see up-close. He’s stepped into the ring with the BEST in this business and he’s survived. He’s always survived, and that mentality… it’s the stuff champions are made of, right? And with Shadow being on a fucking rampage, that leaves Terry, Sally, and Mannie, and they’ve ALL been in Chambers before! Sally won a World Championship from the Chamber. Terry? He beat Biggs, Level One, Kurt Noble, Chris Hart, and CJ Gates in a Chamber a year ago! He’s already demolished the BEST there IS.
Until now.
I’m not locked in that Chamber with five hungry Megastars. They’re all locked in with AJP.
I’m still hungry. I came to collect what I deserve, and what I deserve is EVERYTHING… and I’m gonna gut this place until I get it. But does that make me a bad person?
I’ve done bad things, okay? But look at your heroes, hypocrites! Sally turned her back on ALL OF YOU to get to the top. She did it! Sally did that, and years later, Terry did it too, except he took it to a new level! He played with your emotions. He got you all to stand behind him, and support him, and shed tears for him TWICE, and then he laughed in all your faces.
But you still took him back. You even booed Blade when he did what everybody in that locker-room has wanted to do for months and took Terry out two weeks ago. For weeks, you begged for his return. You screamed for it. But the moment he wronged Terry… all bets were off. Suddenly, you people were forced to look into the eyes of something you didn’t recognize. Someone that could stand tall above the champion. You haaaated it when I did it, but-- all the same, when Blade did it, you guys got really riled up, huh?
...because you guys don’t REALLY wanna see Blade succeed. You just want another body in that Chamber, so you can watch your undeserved beloved snatch that title one more time. And that’s OKAY, because I’ll do you all a solid, and I’ll see to it that Blade is removed from that chamber in violent fashion, ha. He'll pay dividends for what he did to Terry. For the way he embarrassed me.
Would you still call me the bad guy?
If I removed Mannie, a man who has insulted the intelligence of the masses for over a year since his return, and I slammed his fucking head through one of those pods, and then I drove his skull into that steel grating and dragged his carcass in the ring… just so he could be carried back out… I mean, would you still boo me? Would I not be justified, after what he’s done? Or would you give me shit for taking the opportunity away from his meal-ticket, Sally Talfourd? Hm?
I just don’t get it… WHY is it so wrong to support somebody that worked her ass off, taking no days off, to become the best at what she does? I’m not asking you to like my attitude. I’m not asking you to like me, but you WILL respect my drive, and what I’ve done, and what I’ve BUILT in this industry. I am NOT the ‘next’ Sally Talfourd. I’ve BEEN BETTER than Sally Talfourd for a long fucking time. If she’s lucky, Sally Talfourd can be Diet AJP, but I… am sick… of people acting like I’m not what I am; acting like I have to jump these invisible hurdles or grasp the invisible brass ring in order to be considered anything other than inferior to her. CALL ME WHAT I AM. It's okay! It's okay to say it:
The best.
THE BEST.
I live it. Breathe it. Say it. Am it... A lot of people try to take that away from me, including each of you in that Chamber with me tonight, but I’ll never let you. You can take my belt away from me and run through the arenas, screaming like banshees, feeling like you accomplished something, but just because you’ve held the belt-- just because you’ve defaced the championship-- it doesn’t mean you can touch me in that ring. It doesn't mean that you can WRESTLE as well as I can, and it doesn't mean that you can adapt to an environment like the Extreme Elimination Chamber as quickly as I can. No one's safe-- not even the veterans. I will crush your skull, or I will outwrestle you, period. Don’t forget how quickly I can lock your ass in an S&S and make you tap out. Right, Shadow?
Ha… I know it’s enticing. I know what this title makes people do, and all five of you… you’d do anything to take it away from me. You’d kill to be where I am.
...
But I’m willing to do faaaar worse to protect it. I’ll DESTROY to protect what I love. I’m the kind of person that people make monsters out of.
I’m willing to be the bad guy. The real bad guy.”
take me to the magic of the moment
aug.16.twelve2:22pm
I called Logan. I remember he didn't pick up... I'm sure he was explaining the good news to his wife, or to the students at his school. As odd as it was, I kind of smiled when the phone went to voicemail after the seventh or eighth ring. I was glad that he was preoccupied. Maybe it meant he was happy. However, seconds passed and I was snapped out of my trance by the soft "beep" on the on the other line.
"Hey, Logan... it's me. I just-- ha... we did it. Ya know? It's still hard to believe... Hey, look, I know we haven't talked since we left the building this morning, but I wanna promise you that you're not making a mistake. You're not gonna regret coming here with me. We're gonna get to the top-- but we do it together. No matter what. Nothing changes that..."
I sat there, gripping the phone for a few moments, and with a small sigh, I wrapped it up.
"Haha, see you at the top."
Click.
fin.
