Post by JD Storm on Nov 14, 2010 2:11:38 GMT -4
It's a bright, sunny day in Southern California. All is calm. There's barely a cloud in the sky. A large swimming pool is being cleaned by a team of Hispanic men. Sitting comfortably in a lounge chair a few feet from the pool is "Superstar" Bobby Bodacious. Bodacious is wearing nothing but Speedos & dark sunglasses. A small patio table next to him has a freshly made margarita.
"Superstar" Bobby Bodacious
Come on, guys! Hustle on the work a bit, already. I'm not paying you minimum wage for nothing. I want that pool cleaned to perfection. Better get the job done right, too. Screw up & I'll dock your pay.
(mumbling to himself)
Lousy government regulations. Lousy government officials forcing me to pay a minimum wage to these guys. What are they going to force me to do next, pay for their health insurance? Good help is hard to find these days. Too bad more people can't be more like myself.
Bobby Bodacious turns his head slightly towards the camera, acknowledging the camera crew only as much as he needs too.
"Superstar" Bobby Bodacious
There's such a lack of standards in today's society. You can look at anyone from the lowest peon to the uppermost part of society. The standards are severely lacking. Paris Hilton. Lindsay Lohan. Nicole Richie. The Jersey Shore morons. All of these examples are supposed to be role models for the rest of society.
People like this are supposed to encourage everyone else to bust their asses like me, "Superstar" Bobby Bodacious. I haven't maintained such a high living standard by simply blowing it, like so many others from wealthy families. I haven't squandered my opportunities like so many others, in the past.
Despite any failures I've had as a business man, I didn't need my old man to bail me out of trouble. I never needed my old man to put pressure on others to doctor military or work records for any of my failures. I never skipped out for 18 months at a time, only to expect others to simply ignore it. Even when I fail, I actually learn from my screw-ups. Not like this can be said for others in this 2-bit promotion known as IWC.
Apparently, it's a case of anything goes around here. Whatever you feel like doing, just go ahead & do. Feel like holding someone hostage at gunpoint during a show? Go ahead! The redneck fans will probably cheer you for it. If you don't have a criminal record a mile long, you simply don't belong. Now, I know this means that I'm not a great fit for the promotion. I excelled at everything I've ever done by simply being better. Didn't need weapons, steroids, HGH or other such crap to excel. I simply used my intellect & superior abilities to beat everyone that crossed paths with me.
Since IWC allows me to do whatever I please, this simply means that I've got few restraints. Stephan Saint; apparently you didn't learn anything from our last encounter. You thought you could just waltz into the match, let Margera do all the work while you take all the credit. Like my worthless help, you didn't want to put any effort into your job, which was to try & beat me & the Gambler. Somewhere along the line, you thought you could just let someone else do all the dirty work while you take all the glory.
This time around Stephan, things are going to be drastically different for you. You won't be able to put the work onto someone else. You won't be able to rest on the laurels of a teammate. Quite simply, you'll have to prove yourself in the ring against me, the greatest Superstar to ever set foot in the squared circle. You've got to face an uncrowned World Champion, a man that's never been given the chance to have a proper World Title run. You've got the man who'll bring some class to IWC....."Superstar" Bobby Bodacious.
What I'm going to do for you, Mr. Saint, is show you just how a true professional behaves himself in the ring. I'm going to show you what it takes to be a true winner. Being publicly humbled will do you a world of good. I won't go as far as breaking your back, or doing something "unspeakable", but I will teach you that it's perfectly acceptable to get on one knee and praise those that are superior to you. Nobody will think any less of you. The fans certainly won't. They're so used to it, they won't even bat an eye when you kneel before me.
Oh, and when you're done kneeling before me, maybe I'll be nice enough to allow you to help clean my pool. Maybe you'll be better at cleaning pools then you are as a wrestler.
Bodacious looks towards the pool where he sees his workers muttering something in Spanish.
"Superstar" Bobby Bodacious
I heard that guys! If you don't get back to work in the next 5 seconds, I'll have you deported before you can even try to make me pleasure you. Now move it!
The scene ends with Bodacious yelling at his workers while they reluctantly clean his pool.
"Superstar" Bobby Bodacious
Come on, guys! Hustle on the work a bit, already. I'm not paying you minimum wage for nothing. I want that pool cleaned to perfection. Better get the job done right, too. Screw up & I'll dock your pay.
(mumbling to himself)
Lousy government regulations. Lousy government officials forcing me to pay a minimum wage to these guys. What are they going to force me to do next, pay for their health insurance? Good help is hard to find these days. Too bad more people can't be more like myself.
Bobby Bodacious turns his head slightly towards the camera, acknowledging the camera crew only as much as he needs too.
"Superstar" Bobby Bodacious
There's such a lack of standards in today's society. You can look at anyone from the lowest peon to the uppermost part of society. The standards are severely lacking. Paris Hilton. Lindsay Lohan. Nicole Richie. The Jersey Shore morons. All of these examples are supposed to be role models for the rest of society.
People like this are supposed to encourage everyone else to bust their asses like me, "Superstar" Bobby Bodacious. I haven't maintained such a high living standard by simply blowing it, like so many others from wealthy families. I haven't squandered my opportunities like so many others, in the past.
Despite any failures I've had as a business man, I didn't need my old man to bail me out of trouble. I never needed my old man to put pressure on others to doctor military or work records for any of my failures. I never skipped out for 18 months at a time, only to expect others to simply ignore it. Even when I fail, I actually learn from my screw-ups. Not like this can be said for others in this 2-bit promotion known as IWC.
Apparently, it's a case of anything goes around here. Whatever you feel like doing, just go ahead & do. Feel like holding someone hostage at gunpoint during a show? Go ahead! The redneck fans will probably cheer you for it. If you don't have a criminal record a mile long, you simply don't belong. Now, I know this means that I'm not a great fit for the promotion. I excelled at everything I've ever done by simply being better. Didn't need weapons, steroids, HGH or other such crap to excel. I simply used my intellect & superior abilities to beat everyone that crossed paths with me.
Since IWC allows me to do whatever I please, this simply means that I've got few restraints. Stephan Saint; apparently you didn't learn anything from our last encounter. You thought you could just waltz into the match, let Margera do all the work while you take all the credit. Like my worthless help, you didn't want to put any effort into your job, which was to try & beat me & the Gambler. Somewhere along the line, you thought you could just let someone else do all the dirty work while you take all the glory.
This time around Stephan, things are going to be drastically different for you. You won't be able to put the work onto someone else. You won't be able to rest on the laurels of a teammate. Quite simply, you'll have to prove yourself in the ring against me, the greatest Superstar to ever set foot in the squared circle. You've got to face an uncrowned World Champion, a man that's never been given the chance to have a proper World Title run. You've got the man who'll bring some class to IWC....."Superstar" Bobby Bodacious.
What I'm going to do for you, Mr. Saint, is show you just how a true professional behaves himself in the ring. I'm going to show you what it takes to be a true winner. Being publicly humbled will do you a world of good. I won't go as far as breaking your back, or doing something "unspeakable", but I will teach you that it's perfectly acceptable to get on one knee and praise those that are superior to you. Nobody will think any less of you. The fans certainly won't. They're so used to it, they won't even bat an eye when you kneel before me.
Oh, and when you're done kneeling before me, maybe I'll be nice enough to allow you to help clean my pool. Maybe you'll be better at cleaning pools then you are as a wrestler.
Bodacious looks towards the pool where he sees his workers muttering something in Spanish.
"Superstar" Bobby Bodacious
I heard that guys! If you don't get back to work in the next 5 seconds, I'll have you deported before you can even try to make me pleasure you. Now move it!
The scene ends with Bodacious yelling at his workers while they reluctantly clean his pool.
