Post by Nathaniel Havok on Oct 17, 2011 21:09:33 GMT -4
Okay ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for my Bound for Glory review!
I did this last year, and a few seemed to enjoy it. So I figure I will do this for every BFG and WrestleMania from now on.
I have to say… It’s sad when the first 3 matches on the card, are the 3 best matches of the evening. But with a card that has Hulk Hogan (who should already be in a wheelchair), Ric Flair (who looks like an old piece of leather that’s been outside for 60 solid years without being moved out of the sun/rain), Sting (who can still go, but is clinching onto his spot like he’s taking his dying breaths), an inured Kurt Angle, a Jeff Jarrett promo with Jeff Hardy (blind leading the blind), a partridge, and a pear tree… It’s easy for the low-to-mid-card guys to get over the most.
The Tag Team Championship match opened the show, and this was a decent match. I kind of feel like Mexican America is getting pushed for no reason right now. There motto is “We’re taking your jobs, money, and your women. We’re Mexican America”. While this could be a golden story if done the right way, it’s just not being done well enough to get over. Ink Inc. is a team that gets over with the fans. They have the tattoo/dark wrestler image that every fan marks for, and they also have talent (Well, Shannon does). Jesse Neal is trying his ass of, but he’ll never get the true respect of his peers (lets face it, he got free training and a TNA contract because he was a wrestling fan/soldier who was on a ship that was attacked). In my (to steal a line from Sir Ruckus, not -so-humble) opinion, the wrong team won. Good match, but no story told, and no story to get me glued into the next IMPACT!.
The second match of the night, was probably again, in my not-so-humble opinion, the best match of the night. Austin Aries defeted Brian Kendrick (Spanky), and the match truly told a story. I love that Spanky is getting the chance to fly freely in TNA, although he was screwed out of his title run. But there’s no better man in TNA to help screw him behind the curtain, than Austin Aries himself. The two worked their asses off, and the match was a great match. Again, best match of the night. Great story, and unlike the above title retention, Spanky still has enough momentum to continue his quest of defeating Aries.
I have to be honest, the match I was looking forward to the most, was the Rob Van Dam/Jerry Lynn Full Metal Mayhem Match. While I believe that Kendrick/Aries was the match of the night, this match was a close second! Van Dam and Lynn took me back to ECW for about 20 minutes, and I loved it. They looked like they were in their 20’s (or in Lynn’s case, 30’s) again, proving that they can still bring the best out in one another. Of course, Van Dam went over, and Lynn shook his hand. Typical BFG/WM move, ending the feud so RVD can go onto something new, and Lynn can be “future endeavored“.
Next has to be the most predictable, and second-worst match of the evening, the triple threat match. Once again, a non-developed wrestler with a big frame gets the push, as Crimson continues to stay undefeated by beating both Matt Morgan, and Samoa Joe. Now, I WAS a mark for Joe, for a long time, but not anymore. But what in the hell is wrong with professional wrestling!?!? Again, my opinion, but Matt Morgan should already be in the main event, not putting some rookie over. If the timing of this match were any worse, they would have had to start it over. In large fault of Crimson and Joe, who for some reason, both got put over more than Morgan. Morgan held the match together, getting things done and spots worked out in a timely fashion. You could clearly see that he was leading the match the entire time. For some reason, I think Joe is really sick and tired of TNA. Problem is, while trying to get “future endeavored”, he’s also ruining his chances of signing with WWE, who WAS interested around the time of “Umaga”. He really looks sloppy these days, and clearly needs to go on a diet. But like Samuel L. Jackson said in Pulp Fiction…
“He's got a weight problem… What's the nigga gonna do, he's Samoan.”
Nevertheless, this match was a crap match, not even worthy of free T.V. or a house show.
After this, we had a match that instilled faith in the PPV for me, but was not a very good match in its entirety. “Bully” Ray (BuhBuh Dudley) and Mr. Anderson (…Kennedy!) faught all over the arena, and it was actually pretty cool. However, both the camera and lighting crews ruined this match (for the most part). For about 5 minutes in this match, a spotlight was dead center in the middle of our screens, thus pissing a lot of people off, and causing people to have to squint, to see what was going on. I didn’t know that this was taking place at high noon outside of the arena… I mean, come on now! The finish was botched, as Anderson went for the “Kenton Bomb”, and missed his spot. He did hit BuhBuh, but the table didn’t break because he jumped too far. He then gave him a Mic-Check to break the table and get the pin. But the finish was ruined. After the botch happened, the ending was given away, since you already knew they were set to go home, due to the buildup. Both men were pushed wisely. Both me kicked out of several brutal moves, and the fans seemed into the match. The finish removed, and it would have probably been one of the best matches of the night.
The next match was decent… Well… the Velvet’s entrance was… However, as bad as the match was, I’m glad to see Velvet win the title, although I think that some “Karen Angle/Jarrett” bullshit will be pulled to give Winter back the title and erase it from the history books. Just watch, next IMPACT!, I bet I’m spot on! Anyhow, I used this match to take a piss break. And by piss break, I mean went to the bathroom and thought about Velvet’s entrance for 5 or so minutes.
The A.J./Daniels match was up next, and wasn’t a bad match by any means. However, Daniels lackluster promo skills and the pushing of SUPER-FACE Styles, made this match a travesty. When I first heard about this match, I was cool with it. We’ve seen these two battle each other 300+ times before, but it’s always a good match. This match, for storyline/promo reasons, was the worst match they’ve ever had. First of all, Christopher Daniels is no Dwayne Johnson! But countless times during this 20 minute “I Quit” match, he grabbed the mic and continued to bore the fans with really stupid promos. It ended with AJ knocking him on the mat, grabbing a weapon, and Daniels saying I QUIT! I QUIT! JUST DON’T HURT ME!
…REALLY!?!?
For two men who have busted their asses in this business for so long, they couldn’t see that this was the lamest idea in the history of professional wrestling?!?! Anyhow, Daniels bolts to the back, A.J. begins to leave, Daniels comes back out and delivers his finisher on the entrance ramp. WooHoo!
…LAME!
Next was the “Time To Get Snacks Match”, obviously your chance to make a tasty treat before Roode/Angle. And trust me, it lived up to its name!!! It started out as a traditional fist fight, almost like boxing without gloves. I was first interested, since I wouldn’t have to sit through the usual Hulk Hogan style match. But then Hulk did the “unthinkable”, having Ric Flair come down to ringside. (Also, earlier in the evening it slipped to the world that “Jackson James” is actally Eric Bischoff’s son.), which “stacked the odds” even more for Sting. Hogan and Flair continued to cheat, and Sting continued to fight back. Eventually, Hogan failed me, and tried to start wrestling. It… was… BRUTAL!!! Eventually, Hogan slowly went down to the mat (not being able to bump), and was locked into a submission. He tapped, and Bischoff’s son had no choice but to ring the bell.
Immortal then came down to the ring and began attacking Sting. Sting took chairshot after chairshot, but continued to get up. This is where it REALLY gets predictable! Can you guess what happens next!?!?
…All of the sudden, Hogan begins attacking Immortal, helping Sting to fight them off. As Abyss watches on from the entrance, Hogan and Sting clear the ring, until all that’s left is Eric Bischoff. They then do a number on Bischoff, who is tossed out. Jackson James (Or whatever his fake name is), Hogan, and Sting pose in the ring and celebrate.
Boy oh boy, I didn’t see that coming! Haha, yeah, what-the-fuck-ever! You knew that if Sting won, Hogan was going to turn face. That’s how he keeps the money in his pocket! Yay! Hulk-a-mania Penis!!! Good God, why did Dixie renew this contract?!?! Anyhow, we’re stuck with him for another year at least. So I don’t know why he put Sting over… Maybe Sting’s ego got in the way? Ha, again, what-the-fuck ever. Hogan turns face, and he remains on T.V. while Dixie gets her company back… Great…
…No…LAME!
Next, was the biggest disappointment of the evening. Bobby Roode and Kurt Angle put on a good WRESTLING match. However, Hogan’s politicking, ruined the match. THAT day, Hogan talked them into changing the winner. TRUST ME, no rumor, proven fact. AJ Styles had a fit about it. Anyhow, the build up they have been giving Roode, was completely demolished as Kurt Angle used the ring ropes to win the match. No big finish here people, just a cheap way to keep Angle as champion, without trying to kill Roode’s momentum. However, they failed. It doesn’t matter anymore if Roode wins the title, because the title means absolutely nothing in the first place! Sting made sure of that with his countless championship reigns! Anyhow, this match was T.V. worthy for the most part, but nothing big as far as finishes or big spots. You could tell Kurt was hurt, and most of the time, it didn’t look like he was even trying.
With all of the negative things I have said thus far, it still was an okay PPV. Maybe not WM worthy, but it was okay nonetheless. However, I give this PPV TWO THUMBS DOWN, because of the most boring moment of the night… The blind leading the blind…
I mean Jeff Jarrett calling out Jeff Hardy.
…We get it, Jeff is a failure. He’s a drug addict who has large balls. Evel Knievel had balls too, but I’m sure he never showed up in front of a national audience completely stoned out of his mind… And that’s just Jeff Jarrett, don’t get me started on Jeff Hardy! Lol. Don't you just love my sense of humor?
They’re trying to build Hardy up and reestablish him as a main player, without him even earning his respect back, and that’s complete bullshit. Regardless of whether he can or can’t (the latter of the two) cut a promo, is besides the point. The bottom line is that he’s had about 4 or 5 “second chances” in his career, and even though I have a Hardy Boyz symbol tattooed on my arm, even I wish they’d both retire and fall off the face of the earth. These two (Jarrett and Hardy) had a completely horrible interaction. The sad truth is, every time either of them open their mouths, people fall into a coma. This killed the PPV, and (to steal lyrics from New Found Glory) it's all downhill from here. There’s a reason Vince didn’t want Jarrett back in his company after WCW. For some reason, Jarrett has always been convinced that he can draw money, when his “Best of Jeff Jarrett” DVD’s, probably couldn’t even draw dust onto them! This killed it all. Ontop of all the shitty wrestling and bad endings/storylines, this segment killed EVERYTHING. But unfortunately, I think that they’re building a Hardy/Jarrett feud. Please, someone let me know when it’s over, so I can watch again.
Anyhow, if you saw it, let me know what you thought. Other than that, follow me on twitter, like me on facebook, and as always, take care…
…Spike your hair! Woo Woo Woo, you know it!
I did this last year, and a few seemed to enjoy it. So I figure I will do this for every BFG and WrestleMania from now on.
I have to say… It’s sad when the first 3 matches on the card, are the 3 best matches of the evening. But with a card that has Hulk Hogan (who should already be in a wheelchair), Ric Flair (who looks like an old piece of leather that’s been outside for 60 solid years without being moved out of the sun/rain), Sting (who can still go, but is clinching onto his spot like he’s taking his dying breaths), an inured Kurt Angle, a Jeff Jarrett promo with Jeff Hardy (blind leading the blind), a partridge, and a pear tree… It’s easy for the low-to-mid-card guys to get over the most.
The Tag Team Championship match opened the show, and this was a decent match. I kind of feel like Mexican America is getting pushed for no reason right now. There motto is “We’re taking your jobs, money, and your women. We’re Mexican America”. While this could be a golden story if done the right way, it’s just not being done well enough to get over. Ink Inc. is a team that gets over with the fans. They have the tattoo/dark wrestler image that every fan marks for, and they also have talent (Well, Shannon does). Jesse Neal is trying his ass of, but he’ll never get the true respect of his peers (lets face it, he got free training and a TNA contract because he was a wrestling fan/soldier who was on a ship that was attacked). In my (to steal a line from Sir Ruckus, not -so-humble) opinion, the wrong team won. Good match, but no story told, and no story to get me glued into the next IMPACT!.
The second match of the night, was probably again, in my not-so-humble opinion, the best match of the night. Austin Aries defeted Brian Kendrick (Spanky), and the match truly told a story. I love that Spanky is getting the chance to fly freely in TNA, although he was screwed out of his title run. But there’s no better man in TNA to help screw him behind the curtain, than Austin Aries himself. The two worked their asses off, and the match was a great match. Again, best match of the night. Great story, and unlike the above title retention, Spanky still has enough momentum to continue his quest of defeating Aries.
I have to be honest, the match I was looking forward to the most, was the Rob Van Dam/Jerry Lynn Full Metal Mayhem Match. While I believe that Kendrick/Aries was the match of the night, this match was a close second! Van Dam and Lynn took me back to ECW for about 20 minutes, and I loved it. They looked like they were in their 20’s (or in Lynn’s case, 30’s) again, proving that they can still bring the best out in one another. Of course, Van Dam went over, and Lynn shook his hand. Typical BFG/WM move, ending the feud so RVD can go onto something new, and Lynn can be “future endeavored“.
Next has to be the most predictable, and second-worst match of the evening, the triple threat match. Once again, a non-developed wrestler with a big frame gets the push, as Crimson continues to stay undefeated by beating both Matt Morgan, and Samoa Joe. Now, I WAS a mark for Joe, for a long time, but not anymore. But what in the hell is wrong with professional wrestling!?!? Again, my opinion, but Matt Morgan should already be in the main event, not putting some rookie over. If the timing of this match were any worse, they would have had to start it over. In large fault of Crimson and Joe, who for some reason, both got put over more than Morgan. Morgan held the match together, getting things done and spots worked out in a timely fashion. You could clearly see that he was leading the match the entire time. For some reason, I think Joe is really sick and tired of TNA. Problem is, while trying to get “future endeavored”, he’s also ruining his chances of signing with WWE, who WAS interested around the time of “Umaga”. He really looks sloppy these days, and clearly needs to go on a diet. But like Samuel L. Jackson said in Pulp Fiction…
“He's got a weight problem… What's the nigga gonna do, he's Samoan.”
Nevertheless, this match was a crap match, not even worthy of free T.V. or a house show.
After this, we had a match that instilled faith in the PPV for me, but was not a very good match in its entirety. “Bully” Ray (BuhBuh Dudley) and Mr. Anderson (…Kennedy!) faught all over the arena, and it was actually pretty cool. However, both the camera and lighting crews ruined this match (for the most part). For about 5 minutes in this match, a spotlight was dead center in the middle of our screens, thus pissing a lot of people off, and causing people to have to squint, to see what was going on. I didn’t know that this was taking place at high noon outside of the arena… I mean, come on now! The finish was botched, as Anderson went for the “Kenton Bomb”, and missed his spot. He did hit BuhBuh, but the table didn’t break because he jumped too far. He then gave him a Mic-Check to break the table and get the pin. But the finish was ruined. After the botch happened, the ending was given away, since you already knew they were set to go home, due to the buildup. Both men were pushed wisely. Both me kicked out of several brutal moves, and the fans seemed into the match. The finish removed, and it would have probably been one of the best matches of the night.
The next match was decent… Well… the Velvet’s entrance was… However, as bad as the match was, I’m glad to see Velvet win the title, although I think that some “Karen Angle/Jarrett” bullshit will be pulled to give Winter back the title and erase it from the history books. Just watch, next IMPACT!, I bet I’m spot on! Anyhow, I used this match to take a piss break. And by piss break, I mean went to the bathroom and thought about Velvet’s entrance for 5 or so minutes.
The A.J./Daniels match was up next, and wasn’t a bad match by any means. However, Daniels lackluster promo skills and the pushing of SUPER-FACE Styles, made this match a travesty. When I first heard about this match, I was cool with it. We’ve seen these two battle each other 300+ times before, but it’s always a good match. This match, for storyline/promo reasons, was the worst match they’ve ever had. First of all, Christopher Daniels is no Dwayne Johnson! But countless times during this 20 minute “I Quit” match, he grabbed the mic and continued to bore the fans with really stupid promos. It ended with AJ knocking him on the mat, grabbing a weapon, and Daniels saying I QUIT! I QUIT! JUST DON’T HURT ME!
…REALLY!?!?
For two men who have busted their asses in this business for so long, they couldn’t see that this was the lamest idea in the history of professional wrestling?!?! Anyhow, Daniels bolts to the back, A.J. begins to leave, Daniels comes back out and delivers his finisher on the entrance ramp. WooHoo!
…LAME!
Next was the “Time To Get Snacks Match”, obviously your chance to make a tasty treat before Roode/Angle. And trust me, it lived up to its name!!! It started out as a traditional fist fight, almost like boxing without gloves. I was first interested, since I wouldn’t have to sit through the usual Hulk Hogan style match. But then Hulk did the “unthinkable”, having Ric Flair come down to ringside. (Also, earlier in the evening it slipped to the world that “Jackson James” is actally Eric Bischoff’s son.), which “stacked the odds” even more for Sting. Hogan and Flair continued to cheat, and Sting continued to fight back. Eventually, Hogan failed me, and tried to start wrestling. It… was… BRUTAL!!! Eventually, Hogan slowly went down to the mat (not being able to bump), and was locked into a submission. He tapped, and Bischoff’s son had no choice but to ring the bell.
Immortal then came down to the ring and began attacking Sting. Sting took chairshot after chairshot, but continued to get up. This is where it REALLY gets predictable! Can you guess what happens next!?!?
…All of the sudden, Hogan begins attacking Immortal, helping Sting to fight them off. As Abyss watches on from the entrance, Hogan and Sting clear the ring, until all that’s left is Eric Bischoff. They then do a number on Bischoff, who is tossed out. Jackson James (Or whatever his fake name is), Hogan, and Sting pose in the ring and celebrate.
Boy oh boy, I didn’t see that coming! Haha, yeah, what-the-fuck-ever! You knew that if Sting won, Hogan was going to turn face. That’s how he keeps the money in his pocket! Yay! Hulk-a-mania Penis!!! Good God, why did Dixie renew this contract?!?! Anyhow, we’re stuck with him for another year at least. So I don’t know why he put Sting over… Maybe Sting’s ego got in the way? Ha, again, what-the-fuck ever. Hogan turns face, and he remains on T.V. while Dixie gets her company back… Great…
…No…LAME!
Next, was the biggest disappointment of the evening. Bobby Roode and Kurt Angle put on a good WRESTLING match. However, Hogan’s politicking, ruined the match. THAT day, Hogan talked them into changing the winner. TRUST ME, no rumor, proven fact. AJ Styles had a fit about it. Anyhow, the build up they have been giving Roode, was completely demolished as Kurt Angle used the ring ropes to win the match. No big finish here people, just a cheap way to keep Angle as champion, without trying to kill Roode’s momentum. However, they failed. It doesn’t matter anymore if Roode wins the title, because the title means absolutely nothing in the first place! Sting made sure of that with his countless championship reigns! Anyhow, this match was T.V. worthy for the most part, but nothing big as far as finishes or big spots. You could tell Kurt was hurt, and most of the time, it didn’t look like he was even trying.
With all of the negative things I have said thus far, it still was an okay PPV. Maybe not WM worthy, but it was okay nonetheless. However, I give this PPV TWO THUMBS DOWN, because of the most boring moment of the night… The blind leading the blind…
I mean Jeff Jarrett calling out Jeff Hardy.
…We get it, Jeff is a failure. He’s a drug addict who has large balls. Evel Knievel had balls too, but I’m sure he never showed up in front of a national audience completely stoned out of his mind… And that’s just Jeff Jarrett, don’t get me started on Jeff Hardy! Lol. Don't you just love my sense of humor?
They’re trying to build Hardy up and reestablish him as a main player, without him even earning his respect back, and that’s complete bullshit. Regardless of whether he can or can’t (the latter of the two) cut a promo, is besides the point. The bottom line is that he’s had about 4 or 5 “second chances” in his career, and even though I have a Hardy Boyz symbol tattooed on my arm, even I wish they’d both retire and fall off the face of the earth. These two (Jarrett and Hardy) had a completely horrible interaction. The sad truth is, every time either of them open their mouths, people fall into a coma. This killed the PPV, and (to steal lyrics from New Found Glory) it's all downhill from here. There’s a reason Vince didn’t want Jarrett back in his company after WCW. For some reason, Jarrett has always been convinced that he can draw money, when his “Best of Jeff Jarrett” DVD’s, probably couldn’t even draw dust onto them! This killed it all. Ontop of all the shitty wrestling and bad endings/storylines, this segment killed EVERYTHING. But unfortunately, I think that they’re building a Hardy/Jarrett feud. Please, someone let me know when it’s over, so I can watch again.
Anyhow, if you saw it, let me know what you thought. Other than that, follow me on twitter, like me on facebook, and as always, take care…
…Spike your hair! Woo Woo Woo, you know it!
