Post by Johnny Rebel on Dec 15, 2011 16:46:26 GMT -4
The scene begins on a small Chinese restaurant in the city of Tacoma, Washington. The camera pans to the back of the dimly lit room where “Simply Put” Johnny Rebel is sitting in a corner booth by himself. It’s obvious that Rebel is waiting for someone to join him as the table is set for two. Johnny flips open his cell phone to check the time as a woman in her mid-thirties comes walking up to hand a menu to him.
“Can I get you something to drink?” The woman asks with enthusiasm.
“Water with lemon.” Rebel mumbles under his breath, refusing to even look up at the waitress.
The woman jots Rebel’s request down in a small notebook, slides in her front apron pocket and disappears in to the back. Rebel mumbles something under his breath, “Washington! There are millions of places in the world that would bend over backwards to welcome Christmas Chaos…and we’re stuck in Washington!”
The woman returns after a few moments with Rebel’s drink as she drops it on a coaster and pushes it across the table while tossing a straw next to it. “Are you waiting for someone or is it just going to be you this evening?” She asks.
Johnny perks up long enough to grumble, “Yes—she’ll be here in any minute now.”
“I’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes.” The woman responds with a smile on her face despite Rebel’s best attempt to get her down.
There was something different about Rebel’s disposition this evening. He’s usually not very friendly but he doesn’t often miss the chance to stomp over somebody else very often. This is exactly the type of setting where he’d do everything possible to try and embarrass any-and-everyone within earshot. However, Rebel seemed content with keeping his head down and getting out of any social situation as quickly as possible. Or perhaps he’s holding back for when his company arrives. Rebel’s phone buzzes as he picks it up to reveal a text message:
Rebel mashes a few buttons to respond and within a few seconds, Rebel’s personal secretary Sarah comes walking up to the table. She throws her purse on an empty chair and plops down across from Johnny.
“Hey champ!” She greets the former Overdrive champion as she begins thumbing through a menu in front of her.
“It sure took you long enough to get here! I was getting ready to start gnawing on my arm in a few minutes.” Rebel answers back.
“Contrary to popular opinion I don’t roll out of bed ready for the day. It takes time to look this good!”
“Whose popular opinion is that? Certainly not mine!” Rebel responds.
Sarah scoffs at Rebel’s put down and continues thumbing through her menu before making a decision.
“Can I be honest with you?” Rebel asks.
That question takes Sarah by surprise as Rebel’s never been one to hold back his thoughts for fear of offending anyone.
“Even if I said no, would it matter?” Sarah answers.
“Fair enough.” Rebel responds. “Have you ever wondered what would happen if you could just hit the rewind button on life? Surely that would make things simpler. Can you imagine a world where you could simply erase every failed moment?”
Sarah cracks a smile believing that Rebel’s starting to connect the dots. Perhaps he was going to apologize for all of the embarrassing moments he had dragged her through and was prepared to make up for all the late-nights in the office where he had left her to tie up the loose ends he normally left untouched.
“I don’t know of a single person that hasn’t wished that at some point or another,” Sarah responded giddy at the thought of finally getting an apology from her employer.
“Because if I could go back in time…” Rebel stops while Sarah moves to the edge of her seat, “I’d break Kurt Noble’s other leg so that clown wouldn’t have anything to stand on!” Sarah deflates and slumps back down in her chair and thought to herself: So much for that.
“You know he’s going to do everything within his power to protect his injured leg. I know that you believe him to be an idiot but he knows what he’s doing in that ring.” Sarah adds.
“Come on! I know you think I’m the idiot but I’m smarter than you give me credit for!” Rebel leans back while cracking a smile. “I’ve got Kurt exactly where I want him! He doesn’t stand a chance in our match…he won’t even be able to get out of the ring. Literally!”
“What do you mean?” Sarah questions Rebel’s statement.
“I had to play Kurt’s little game of look but don’t touch for the past few weeks but I got him to agree to a match that he can’t win!”
“Could we just skip to the point where you tell me what it is you’re thinking so I can stop trying to pretend like I’m ever going to guess?”
“What is the special stipulation for our match on Sunday?” Johnny says as his question is met with a blank stare from Sarah.
“I know that you agreed to not lay a hand on him until the match begins at the pay-per-view…” She answers as Rebel grunts in disapproval.
“And…” Rebel says while motioning for her to finish her thought. “In return for that promise I asked for a…what?”
“A cage match?” Sarah asks in the form of a question.
“Bingo!” Rebel says pounding the table with his right hand. “With Noble’s bum leg, there isn’t a chance he’ll be able to climb out of that ring and therefore, I’ll be the Overdrive champion by default!”
“Um…” Sarah says trying to gently interrupt Rebel’s victory dance. “You know that the match can also end a pinfall or Noble walking out through the door, right? It only takes one good leg to spill out of the ring and fall to the floor. He doesn’t actually have to beat you to do that!”
“Wait…what?” Rebel says.
“You didn’t read the contract, did you?” Sarah asks while the answer to her question is obvious by the look on Rebel’s face.
“I didn’t agree to that! A catch match means that you have to climb out of the ring in order to win the match. This is preposterous! How long were you going to wait until you told me of the ridiculous situation that you’ve put me in?” Rebel shouts causing a number of folks in the restaurant to stare and whisper.
“I gave you the contract to sign and I guess I assumed that you were going to actually read over it before agreeing!” Sarah says defending herself.
“Now what are we going to do? I’ve spent the past several weeks training new ways to make sure I snapped Kurt’s good leg so he couldn’t climb! Now you’re telling me that he can just crawl out of the ring without an effort whatsoever! In fact the door could just jar loose and he could fall out declaring him the winner. You already knew that Jeff was going to concoct a plan to make sure I didn’t walk out with the Overdrive championship and now I have to overcome this? Weeks of training down the drain!”
“Calm down, Johnny. You have had plenty of time to get ready and you are as prepared as you would have ever been. You have spent many evenings in that ring with Kurt and know exactly what he’s going to bring to the table. You can’t teach an injured dog new tricks and he isn’t going to throw anything at you that you haven’t seen before. Follow the game plan and you shouldn’t have any problem getting your championship back.”
Rebel takes a deep breath and mumbles a half-hearted OK underneath his breath. “Honestly, I’ve never been more excited for a match in my life.”
Sarah is a bit taken a back by Rebel’s comments even after finding out the match wasn’t exactly what he had been planning for.
“I’ve come to a place in my life where every match that I walk in to could very well be my last. APW and President Jeff have thrown the kitchen sink at me and I have walked away with my head held high on every occasion. I made a choice a long time ago that if I ever stepped back in the ring that I would do things my own way and wouldn’t be the corporate lap dog that simply obeyed commands. I think I’ve accomplished that goal.”
Sarah simply nods as Rebel’s passion shines through the look in his eyes. The two get up from their booth and make the rounds through the buffet. The waitress drops by with the check and drops it on the table with a handful of fortune cookies.
“Nothing like a good fortune cookie to finish up a Chinese meal. You first…” Rebel says while pushing one of the cookies in its wrapping over towards Sarah.
Sarah fumbles through the plastic wrapping and cracks the cookie in half revealing a piece of white paper tucked neatly inside the Chinese novelty. She tugs at the fortune and begins reading to herself quietly.
“Come on…spill it!” Rebel exclaims.
Sarah begins reading with a laugh:
“What? That’s not a fortune!” Rebel says while tossing the plastic from his own cookie on to a plate across the table. “I thought having a fortune from one of these things was supposed to predict something in the future…not repeat the opening line from a romance novel.”
“I bet you still have trouble finding the pearl…”
Rebel about spits out drink at Sarah’s quip. “I may be getting older but I don’t have any problem finding the pearl if you know what I mean!”
The two share a laugh as Rebel cracks his own cookie open separating the two sides and pulling out his own fortune. He reads the back first:
“My lucky numbers!” Rebel adds.
Sarah doesn’t waste any time jumping in on the act, “You’re going to need more than numbers to get lucky…if you know what I mean!”
Rebel flips over the piece of paper to the other side where he reads the writing quietly to himself. The expression on his face begins to immediately change from the slight smile he had to one of fear. Sarah is oblivious as she slurps out the last bit of water from her glass until she pokes her head up to see Rebel staring blankly at the piece of paper.
“Johnny? Are you okay?” Sarah asks while snapping her fingers just a few inches from Rebel’s face to no response. “Johnny! What’s wrong?” She grabs at Rebel’s fortune but at the last second Rebel snaps back as she whiffs at the air.
“This isn’t funny, Sarah.” Rebel says while staring daggers towards Sarah.
“What are you talking about?” She says.
“Don’t try and play dumb. You know what’s on the inside of this fortune cookie and I’m not finding it very amusing.”
“Get real, Johnny. I don’t have anything to do with the stuffing of Chinese fortune cookies! I don’t have enough time in the day to pull a stunt like that with all of the paperwork you have me combing through!”
“Who put you up to this?” Rebel points towards the piece of paper. “It was Madea wasn’t it? I’m going to kill that woman…or was it Monkwood? It was Monkwood wasn’t it! They knew the only way they would get in my head is by using you as a pawn to distract me! I knew something was fishy when you chose this place before a big match! Who eats Chinese food the night before one of the biggest matches in APW history?”
Sarah has nothing but a blank stare to offer Rebel. “What in the world does that paper say, Johnny?”
Rebel again ignores Sarah’s pleas to know what’s behind his wrath. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her closer towards him. “I promise you Sarah… if you had anything to do with this than I’ll make sure that Noble isn’t the only one who needs a cane! This isn’t a game to me! This is my life that you’re playing with and I’m not going to anybody, especially Kurt Noble, get in my head!”
The former Overdrive champion throws Sarah’s wrist down and after standing up from the booth rips up the fortune in to three pieces and sprinkles them over the table. While standing up he tugs on the collar of his suit jacket and waves for Sarah to follow him as the color begins to return to her face. “I’ll be right there, Johnny.” She says which pacifies him long enough for him to exit without her.
She scoops up the torn fortune that Rebel left behind. As she begins to piece them together she reads the remains out loud:
Can you smell that?
It’s the smell of the Christmas season! It’s finally here. Boys and girls wait all year long for that fateful moment when Santa’s reindeer hit their roof and that jolly Santa Clause wiggles his way down through the chimney to hand out presents to all those who find themselves on the nice list. My favorite part of the year isn’t so much the hustle and bustle of families spending their life savings on the biggest and brightest but just the shear fact that there is a buzz in the air that seldom happens outside of the holiday months.
Perhaps it’s just the fact that I can identify with the real reason for the season?
The real reason of why we celebrate during this time of the year often falls on deaf ears. Christmas is constantly under attack from blatant consumerism and disrespect to the true Savior of the world. The word Christmas is merely enough to garner some around the globe to raise their hands and hiss at you like you’re some kind of leper with incurable diseases!
Happy Holidays.
Season’s Greetings.
It’s all a big farce! How are we forget what got us here in the first place!
There are quite the parallels between the APW and the imminent Christmas season. There once was a proud tradition of excellence in this organization where you earned your keep instead of success that was handed to you like a cold glass of milk and warm cookies. Unfortunately for us, poor judgment and those who believe they have a better way of doing things have clouded that tradition. Kind of like Christmas, yeah? We’ve turned the once proud tradition in to a pissing contest. Instead of celebrating the truth, we’ve reduced the holiday to putting up the brightest lights. It’s absolutely appalling! As APW comes closer to celebrating it’s own Christmas season there are only two roles to fill here.
The two roles are simple: there is one that is everything pure and good about the Christmas holiday! Someone who has refused to allow themselves to be corrupted by the world. The other is someone who has bought in to the rise of consumerism and the come-as-you-are theology. Now, I know that it’s probably not necessary to identify which of us plays each role…but I understand that we live in a fallen world that is sometimes incapable of separating good from evil so I’ll break it down in the easiest format for all of you. I’m the one who represents the faith of many while Kurt is the one who has sold his soul to the devil. Don’t just take my word for it—read it for yourselves!
It’s in the beginning of the story where we find our most incredible injustice. The child born of a virgin to be the substitute for all of the evil that has ever been done and there was no place to rest his head? That boggles my mind! The light of the world being forced to spend the first moments of his life wrapped in second hand blankets and in the filth of a lowly manger. It’s people like Kurt Noble and his selfishness that causes evil to give birth in the world. All the while people like myself who have been scratching tooth and nail trying to earn their way to the top the right way! There are literally hundreds of people who have spent an eternity trying to go about things in a way that earned them respect! Noble struts in to the APW and demands top billing without lifting a finger. Time after time I have been pushed out of the spotlight because of the selfishness of others and I refuse to allow this pointless cycle to continue spinning out of control.
If you rewind back to the last Overdrive before One Night in Hell, you’ll find the APW as it should be: with Johnny Rebel as the Overdrive Champion and Kurt Noble nothing but an afterthought. On this particular evening there was a match that pitted a fractured Team APW against one another in a tag match. Kurt’s selfishness was on full display that evening when he took advantage of C.J. Gates and deprived him of the victory that he earned! While the match didn’t exactly go the way that I had hoped but it wasn’t Kurt that defeated me! Biggs didn’t deliver on his promise of taking care of Gates and making sure he wouldn’t be a factor in the match. I was forced to once again be the sacrificial lamb and suffer the fate of his inabilities to control C.J. Noble just happened to be in the right place at the right time and instead of allowing someone else to be in the spotlight—you jumped in where you didn’t belong! It wasn’t long before your true colors began to shine through and we found out who the real Kurt Noble was. It’s that selfishness that separates the two of us and proves again why I’m better than you! I’m able to distance myself from the situation and see than bigger picture rather than focusing on the here and now. It was a no-brainer in agreeing to withhold from any form of contract from one another in exchange for having our match inside the confines of a steel cage. While in the short term it gave you the time you needed to recover from all the stress the matches you have been participating in lately but in the long term it really put you at a major disadvantage for Christmas Chaos! When the door is shut and locked behind us there won’t be anywhere for you to run. When you are forced to face me one on one without President Jeff or any of his cronies able to rescue you then you will surely come up short! You traded the promise of short term security for having the disadvantage when the bell rings on December 18th!
Don’t’ forget that it was me who set the standard on what it meant to be the Overdrive champion! I decided that when I defeated Biggs for the Overdrive championship that I was going to be a fighting champion and take on all comers. A selfish champion would have ducked everyone, taken his belt and hidden under a rock. When el presidente’ Jeff came knocking and wanted me to defend the championship against you I decided that since it was the beginning of the holiday season I’d show a little charity. Perhaps I should have spit in the face of having to face somebody who didn’t have the resume that others had in the APW at the time. However, I decided to take pit on you and handed out undeserved presents like I was some sort of cheap mall version of Santa Clause! I guess you deserve a pat on the back for returning the favor and giving me a chance to win back what was rightfully mine in the first place. That’s the only thing that you have done since becoming champion that is worth a thumbs up!
However, I will confess that trying to pull something worthwhile out of your latest championship reign is proving to be quite a monumental task. After accidently winning the Overdrive championship at One Night in Hell there was a chance to show the world that you were worth all of the hoopla that surrounded your entry in to the APW by defeating the Undisputed champion in C.J. Gates. I’m sure that you gave it everything you had but you dropped the ball and came up short! It was the following week where you moved on to main event yet again on Overdrive…oh, wait? That’s not the case? You mean the face of Overdrive was missing from the card altogether? You don’t say! I hope that you enjoyed your nice mini-vacation while I was carrying this brand like I’ve done for the past several weeks. I wish I could say that it was all uphill from there but the competition thrown your way was less than subpar! You were facing a retread who I had the pleasure of throwing around the ring just a few weeks before in Michael Jennings while I was disposing of former APW Undisputed Champion Pence Weatherlight. Your championship reign hasn’t exactly been one for the highlight reel.
When are you going to realize that you were only brought to the APW to be a stepping-stone for me in the first place? Ever since you have stepped foot in this place everything has gone completely out of whack and nothing is as it should be! Before you arrived on the scene things were going exactly as planned and Johnny Rebel was shooting up the ranks as the next great thing to happen to this place. They were starting to talk about Johnny Rebel in the same breath as superstars like Level one and Sally Talfourd. In case you haven’t been able to put all the pieces together I’ve taken it on as my personal goal to restore the right order to this place and assume my position back on top of the pecking order! It’s only because I want to spread a little Christmas cheer this time that I’m still even wasting my time on you. Don’t you understand that without me that you would simply be nothing more than a small blurb on the back of the newspaper? But because I’ve decided to extend a little bit of charity towards you that the entire wrestling world is buzzing.
And while we’re discussing charity, it’s the time of the year where even the slimiest of slime balls come crawling out of their shanties to show their support for those who are less fortunate. Right now, standing at the entrance to every outlet in the world right now are thousands of people who are ringing bells with the hope that people will drop a few coins in a little red container. It’s a great cause as I’ve seen first hand the type of people that money goes to help. However, the downfall to all of that is that there are bell-ringers on every corner and the constant sound of ringing drowns out every other noise in the vicinity. You can’t get rid of that noise!
ring-ring-ring
ring-ring-ring
Despite the temporary bit of inconvenience it causes the eardrum, it’s an honorable thing to do. And you know what, Kurt? I’m in such a mood to give to charity! I’m also going to be ringing some bells on December 18th…and by bells, I mean your head! When you finally leave that arena in Washington you’re going to be begging for the ringing to end but it will just be a constant reminder that I’m the rightful champion!
But maybe I’m all-wrong and there is still some magic left in Christmas. As I was writing my own letter to Santa, I began to envision what your letter must have looked like and this is what I came up with:
Dear Santa,
My name is little Kurt Noble and I’m writing you to ask for something special this year during Christmas!
Here is my list of good deeds this year:
1. I’ve helped my daddy shave his butt.
2. I helped my grandfather remove his socks, although it was kind of weird because there is a bad smell on his foot.
3. I haven’t even looked at a girl all year long!
Now if you could help me in a few areas, I’d really appreciate it. I’ve been agood very good boy this year.
I also don’t understand how you have haven’t sent any girlfriend for me. I am just asking for one girlfriend, and I will be happy with her. All the other guys in APW can have more than four girlfriends. What is that they have and I don’t? I am bored with your chocolates and other gifts. Now I am grown up and this Christmas, I’d like a blonde girlfriend and by girlfriend I’m really meaning the Overdrive Championship.
You know that I’m pretty fond of this girl but I think she likes someone else. She is always hanging around this guy named Johnny Rebel, whom I know is better than me in every way! He’s bigger, stronger, better looking and doesn’t have a gimpy leg. I hate him! There was this one time where I snuck in to his locker room and put some chewing gum in his sitting place. When he stood up everybody could see the gum stuck to his behind! It was hilarious!
Now, I want to show him who’s the best…and I think I can do so if you would just grant me these three wishes:
a. I would like a white pony so that when I grow up…I can take Jason Kash for a ride!
b. I would also like a black leather jacket, a pair of red ruby shoes with heels and a gold chain.
c. Please bring me a long whip so that I can punishPresident Jeff my managers who make me stand in the corner when I mess things up.
d. Finally, a match with Johnny Rebel where he’d lay down and hand me over the Overdrive Championship.
I <3 You,
Kurt Noble
[/color]
The only thing that sits on top of my Christmas list is the Overdrive championship…and Kurt, I’ve been incredibly well behaved this year!
#SIMPLY
#FN
#PUT!
“Can I get you something to drink?” The woman asks with enthusiasm.
“Water with lemon.” Rebel mumbles under his breath, refusing to even look up at the waitress.
The woman jots Rebel’s request down in a small notebook, slides in her front apron pocket and disappears in to the back. Rebel mumbles something under his breath, “Washington! There are millions of places in the world that would bend over backwards to welcome Christmas Chaos…and we’re stuck in Washington!”
The woman returns after a few moments with Rebel’s drink as she drops it on a coaster and pushes it across the table while tossing a straw next to it. “Are you waiting for someone or is it just going to be you this evening?” She asks.
Johnny perks up long enough to grumble, “Yes—she’ll be here in any minute now.”
“I’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes.” The woman responds with a smile on her face despite Rebel’s best attempt to get her down.
There was something different about Rebel’s disposition this evening. He’s usually not very friendly but he doesn’t often miss the chance to stomp over somebody else very often. This is exactly the type of setting where he’d do everything possible to try and embarrass any-and-everyone within earshot. However, Rebel seemed content with keeping his head down and getting out of any social situation as quickly as possible. Or perhaps he’s holding back for when his company arrives. Rebel’s phone buzzes as he picks it up to reveal a text message:
“Hey, I’m here. Where are you?”
[/center]Rebel mashes a few buttons to respond and within a few seconds, Rebel’s personal secretary Sarah comes walking up to the table. She throws her purse on an empty chair and plops down across from Johnny.
“Hey champ!” She greets the former Overdrive champion as she begins thumbing through a menu in front of her.
“It sure took you long enough to get here! I was getting ready to start gnawing on my arm in a few minutes.” Rebel answers back.
“Contrary to popular opinion I don’t roll out of bed ready for the day. It takes time to look this good!”
“Whose popular opinion is that? Certainly not mine!” Rebel responds.
Sarah scoffs at Rebel’s put down and continues thumbing through her menu before making a decision.
“Can I be honest with you?” Rebel asks.
That question takes Sarah by surprise as Rebel’s never been one to hold back his thoughts for fear of offending anyone.
“Even if I said no, would it matter?” Sarah answers.
“Fair enough.” Rebel responds. “Have you ever wondered what would happen if you could just hit the rewind button on life? Surely that would make things simpler. Can you imagine a world where you could simply erase every failed moment?”
Sarah cracks a smile believing that Rebel’s starting to connect the dots. Perhaps he was going to apologize for all of the embarrassing moments he had dragged her through and was prepared to make up for all the late-nights in the office where he had left her to tie up the loose ends he normally left untouched.
“I don’t know of a single person that hasn’t wished that at some point or another,” Sarah responded giddy at the thought of finally getting an apology from her employer.
“Because if I could go back in time…” Rebel stops while Sarah moves to the edge of her seat, “I’d break Kurt Noble’s other leg so that clown wouldn’t have anything to stand on!” Sarah deflates and slumps back down in her chair and thought to herself: So much for that.
“You know he’s going to do everything within his power to protect his injured leg. I know that you believe him to be an idiot but he knows what he’s doing in that ring.” Sarah adds.
“Come on! I know you think I’m the idiot but I’m smarter than you give me credit for!” Rebel leans back while cracking a smile. “I’ve got Kurt exactly where I want him! He doesn’t stand a chance in our match…he won’t even be able to get out of the ring. Literally!”
“What do you mean?” Sarah questions Rebel’s statement.
“I had to play Kurt’s little game of look but don’t touch for the past few weeks but I got him to agree to a match that he can’t win!”
“Could we just skip to the point where you tell me what it is you’re thinking so I can stop trying to pretend like I’m ever going to guess?”
“What is the special stipulation for our match on Sunday?” Johnny says as his question is met with a blank stare from Sarah.
“I know that you agreed to not lay a hand on him until the match begins at the pay-per-view…” She answers as Rebel grunts in disapproval.
“And…” Rebel says while motioning for her to finish her thought. “In return for that promise I asked for a…what?”
“A cage match?” Sarah asks in the form of a question.
“Bingo!” Rebel says pounding the table with his right hand. “With Noble’s bum leg, there isn’t a chance he’ll be able to climb out of that ring and therefore, I’ll be the Overdrive champion by default!”
“Um…” Sarah says trying to gently interrupt Rebel’s victory dance. “You know that the match can also end a pinfall or Noble walking out through the door, right? It only takes one good leg to spill out of the ring and fall to the floor. He doesn’t actually have to beat you to do that!”
“Wait…what?” Rebel says.
“You didn’t read the contract, did you?” Sarah asks while the answer to her question is obvious by the look on Rebel’s face.
“I didn’t agree to that! A catch match means that you have to climb out of the ring in order to win the match. This is preposterous! How long were you going to wait until you told me of the ridiculous situation that you’ve put me in?” Rebel shouts causing a number of folks in the restaurant to stare and whisper.
“I gave you the contract to sign and I guess I assumed that you were going to actually read over it before agreeing!” Sarah says defending herself.
“Now what are we going to do? I’ve spent the past several weeks training new ways to make sure I snapped Kurt’s good leg so he couldn’t climb! Now you’re telling me that he can just crawl out of the ring without an effort whatsoever! In fact the door could just jar loose and he could fall out declaring him the winner. You already knew that Jeff was going to concoct a plan to make sure I didn’t walk out with the Overdrive championship and now I have to overcome this? Weeks of training down the drain!”
“Calm down, Johnny. You have had plenty of time to get ready and you are as prepared as you would have ever been. You have spent many evenings in that ring with Kurt and know exactly what he’s going to bring to the table. You can’t teach an injured dog new tricks and he isn’t going to throw anything at you that you haven’t seen before. Follow the game plan and you shouldn’t have any problem getting your championship back.”
Rebel takes a deep breath and mumbles a half-hearted OK underneath his breath. “Honestly, I’ve never been more excited for a match in my life.”
Sarah is a bit taken a back by Rebel’s comments even after finding out the match wasn’t exactly what he had been planning for.
“I’ve come to a place in my life where every match that I walk in to could very well be my last. APW and President Jeff have thrown the kitchen sink at me and I have walked away with my head held high on every occasion. I made a choice a long time ago that if I ever stepped back in the ring that I would do things my own way and wouldn’t be the corporate lap dog that simply obeyed commands. I think I’ve accomplished that goal.”
Sarah simply nods as Rebel’s passion shines through the look in his eyes. The two get up from their booth and make the rounds through the buffet. The waitress drops by with the check and drops it on the table with a handful of fortune cookies.
“Nothing like a good fortune cookie to finish up a Chinese meal. You first…” Rebel says while pushing one of the cookies in its wrapping over towards Sarah.
Sarah fumbles through the plastic wrapping and cracks the cookie in half revealing a piece of white paper tucked neatly inside the Chinese novelty. She tugs at the fortune and begins reading to herself quietly.
“Come on…spill it!” Rebel exclaims.
Sarah begins reading with a laugh:
The world may be your oyster but it doesn’t mean you’ll always get the pearl.
[/center]“What? That’s not a fortune!” Rebel says while tossing the plastic from his own cookie on to a plate across the table. “I thought having a fortune from one of these things was supposed to predict something in the future…not repeat the opening line from a romance novel.”
“I bet you still have trouble finding the pearl…”
Rebel about spits out drink at Sarah’s quip. “I may be getting older but I don’t have any problem finding the pearl if you know what I mean!”
The two share a laugh as Rebel cracks his own cookie open separating the two sides and pulling out his own fortune. He reads the back first:
1, 7, 32, 37
[/i]“My lucky numbers!” Rebel adds.
Sarah doesn’t waste any time jumping in on the act, “You’re going to need more than numbers to get lucky…if you know what I mean!”
Rebel flips over the piece of paper to the other side where he reads the writing quietly to himself. The expression on his face begins to immediately change from the slight smile he had to one of fear. Sarah is oblivious as she slurps out the last bit of water from her glass until she pokes her head up to see Rebel staring blankly at the piece of paper.
“Johnny? Are you okay?” Sarah asks while snapping her fingers just a few inches from Rebel’s face to no response. “Johnny! What’s wrong?” She grabs at Rebel’s fortune but at the last second Rebel snaps back as she whiffs at the air.
“This isn’t funny, Sarah.” Rebel says while staring daggers towards Sarah.
“What are you talking about?” She says.
“Don’t try and play dumb. You know what’s on the inside of this fortune cookie and I’m not finding it very amusing.”
“Get real, Johnny. I don’t have anything to do with the stuffing of Chinese fortune cookies! I don’t have enough time in the day to pull a stunt like that with all of the paperwork you have me combing through!”
“Who put you up to this?” Rebel points towards the piece of paper. “It was Madea wasn’t it? I’m going to kill that woman…or was it Monkwood? It was Monkwood wasn’t it! They knew the only way they would get in my head is by using you as a pawn to distract me! I knew something was fishy when you chose this place before a big match! Who eats Chinese food the night before one of the biggest matches in APW history?”
Sarah has nothing but a blank stare to offer Rebel. “What in the world does that paper say, Johnny?”
Rebel again ignores Sarah’s pleas to know what’s behind his wrath. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her closer towards him. “I promise you Sarah… if you had anything to do with this than I’ll make sure that Noble isn’t the only one who needs a cane! This isn’t a game to me! This is my life that you’re playing with and I’m not going to anybody, especially Kurt Noble, get in my head!”
The former Overdrive champion throws Sarah’s wrist down and after standing up from the booth rips up the fortune in to three pieces and sprinkles them over the table. While standing up he tugs on the collar of his suit jacket and waves for Sarah to follow him as the color begins to return to her face. “I’ll be right there, Johnny.” She says which pacifies him long enough for him to exit without her.
She scoops up the torn fortune that Rebel left behind. As she begins to piece them together she reads the remains out loud:
Do you believe in *ME* yet, Johnny?
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Can you smell that?
It’s the smell of the Christmas season! It’s finally here. Boys and girls wait all year long for that fateful moment when Santa’s reindeer hit their roof and that jolly Santa Clause wiggles his way down through the chimney to hand out presents to all those who find themselves on the nice list. My favorite part of the year isn’t so much the hustle and bustle of families spending their life savings on the biggest and brightest but just the shear fact that there is a buzz in the air that seldom happens outside of the holiday months.
Perhaps it’s just the fact that I can identify with the real reason for the season?
The real reason of why we celebrate during this time of the year often falls on deaf ears. Christmas is constantly under attack from blatant consumerism and disrespect to the true Savior of the world. The word Christmas is merely enough to garner some around the globe to raise their hands and hiss at you like you’re some kind of leper with incurable diseases!
Happy Holidays.
Season’s Greetings.
It’s all a big farce! How are we forget what got us here in the first place!
There are quite the parallels between the APW and the imminent Christmas season. There once was a proud tradition of excellence in this organization where you earned your keep instead of success that was handed to you like a cold glass of milk and warm cookies. Unfortunately for us, poor judgment and those who believe they have a better way of doing things have clouded that tradition. Kind of like Christmas, yeah? We’ve turned the once proud tradition in to a pissing contest. Instead of celebrating the truth, we’ve reduced the holiday to putting up the brightest lights. It’s absolutely appalling! As APW comes closer to celebrating it’s own Christmas season there are only two roles to fill here.
The two roles are simple: there is one that is everything pure and good about the Christmas holiday! Someone who has refused to allow themselves to be corrupted by the world. The other is someone who has bought in to the rise of consumerism and the come-as-you-are theology. Now, I know that it’s probably not necessary to identify which of us plays each role…but I understand that we live in a fallen world that is sometimes incapable of separating good from evil so I’ll break it down in the easiest format for all of you. I’m the one who represents the faith of many while Kurt is the one who has sold his soul to the devil. Don’t just take my word for it—read it for yourselves!
“And while they were there, the time had come
for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first
child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of
cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was
no lodging available for them.”
Luke 2:6-7
for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first
child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of
cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was
no lodging available for them.”
Luke 2:6-7
It’s in the beginning of the story where we find our most incredible injustice. The child born of a virgin to be the substitute for all of the evil that has ever been done and there was no place to rest his head? That boggles my mind! The light of the world being forced to spend the first moments of his life wrapped in second hand blankets and in the filth of a lowly manger. It’s people like Kurt Noble and his selfishness that causes evil to give birth in the world. All the while people like myself who have been scratching tooth and nail trying to earn their way to the top the right way! There are literally hundreds of people who have spent an eternity trying to go about things in a way that earned them respect! Noble struts in to the APW and demands top billing without lifting a finger. Time after time I have been pushed out of the spotlight because of the selfishness of others and I refuse to allow this pointless cycle to continue spinning out of control.
If you rewind back to the last Overdrive before One Night in Hell, you’ll find the APW as it should be: with Johnny Rebel as the Overdrive Champion and Kurt Noble nothing but an afterthought. On this particular evening there was a match that pitted a fractured Team APW against one another in a tag match. Kurt’s selfishness was on full display that evening when he took advantage of C.J. Gates and deprived him of the victory that he earned! While the match didn’t exactly go the way that I had hoped but it wasn’t Kurt that defeated me! Biggs didn’t deliver on his promise of taking care of Gates and making sure he wouldn’t be a factor in the match. I was forced to once again be the sacrificial lamb and suffer the fate of his inabilities to control C.J. Noble just happened to be in the right place at the right time and instead of allowing someone else to be in the spotlight—you jumped in where you didn’t belong! It wasn’t long before your true colors began to shine through and we found out who the real Kurt Noble was. It’s that selfishness that separates the two of us and proves again why I’m better than you! I’m able to distance myself from the situation and see than bigger picture rather than focusing on the here and now. It was a no-brainer in agreeing to withhold from any form of contract from one another in exchange for having our match inside the confines of a steel cage. While in the short term it gave you the time you needed to recover from all the stress the matches you have been participating in lately but in the long term it really put you at a major disadvantage for Christmas Chaos! When the door is shut and locked behind us there won’t be anywhere for you to run. When you are forced to face me one on one without President Jeff or any of his cronies able to rescue you then you will surely come up short! You traded the promise of short term security for having the disadvantage when the bell rings on December 18th!
Don’t’ forget that it was me who set the standard on what it meant to be the Overdrive champion! I decided that when I defeated Biggs for the Overdrive championship that I was going to be a fighting champion and take on all comers. A selfish champion would have ducked everyone, taken his belt and hidden under a rock. When el presidente’ Jeff came knocking and wanted me to defend the championship against you I decided that since it was the beginning of the holiday season I’d show a little charity. Perhaps I should have spit in the face of having to face somebody who didn’t have the resume that others had in the APW at the time. However, I decided to take pit on you and handed out undeserved presents like I was some sort of cheap mall version of Santa Clause! I guess you deserve a pat on the back for returning the favor and giving me a chance to win back what was rightfully mine in the first place. That’s the only thing that you have done since becoming champion that is worth a thumbs up!
However, I will confess that trying to pull something worthwhile out of your latest championship reign is proving to be quite a monumental task. After accidently winning the Overdrive championship at One Night in Hell there was a chance to show the world that you were worth all of the hoopla that surrounded your entry in to the APW by defeating the Undisputed champion in C.J. Gates. I’m sure that you gave it everything you had but you dropped the ball and came up short! It was the following week where you moved on to main event yet again on Overdrive…oh, wait? That’s not the case? You mean the face of Overdrive was missing from the card altogether? You don’t say! I hope that you enjoyed your nice mini-vacation while I was carrying this brand like I’ve done for the past several weeks. I wish I could say that it was all uphill from there but the competition thrown your way was less than subpar! You were facing a retread who I had the pleasure of throwing around the ring just a few weeks before in Michael Jennings while I was disposing of former APW Undisputed Champion Pence Weatherlight. Your championship reign hasn’t exactly been one for the highlight reel.
When are you going to realize that you were only brought to the APW to be a stepping-stone for me in the first place? Ever since you have stepped foot in this place everything has gone completely out of whack and nothing is as it should be! Before you arrived on the scene things were going exactly as planned and Johnny Rebel was shooting up the ranks as the next great thing to happen to this place. They were starting to talk about Johnny Rebel in the same breath as superstars like Level one and Sally Talfourd. In case you haven’t been able to put all the pieces together I’ve taken it on as my personal goal to restore the right order to this place and assume my position back on top of the pecking order! It’s only because I want to spread a little Christmas cheer this time that I’m still even wasting my time on you. Don’t you understand that without me that you would simply be nothing more than a small blurb on the back of the newspaper? But because I’ve decided to extend a little bit of charity towards you that the entire wrestling world is buzzing.
And while we’re discussing charity, it’s the time of the year where even the slimiest of slime balls come crawling out of their shanties to show their support for those who are less fortunate. Right now, standing at the entrance to every outlet in the world right now are thousands of people who are ringing bells with the hope that people will drop a few coins in a little red container. It’s a great cause as I’ve seen first hand the type of people that money goes to help. However, the downfall to all of that is that there are bell-ringers on every corner and the constant sound of ringing drowns out every other noise in the vicinity. You can’t get rid of that noise!
ring-ring-ring
ring-ring-ring
Despite the temporary bit of inconvenience it causes the eardrum, it’s an honorable thing to do. And you know what, Kurt? I’m in such a mood to give to charity! I’m also going to be ringing some bells on December 18th…and by bells, I mean your head! When you finally leave that arena in Washington you’re going to be begging for the ringing to end but it will just be a constant reminder that I’m the rightful champion!
But maybe I’m all-wrong and there is still some magic left in Christmas. As I was writing my own letter to Santa, I began to envision what your letter must have looked like and this is what I came up with:
Dear Santa,
My name is little Kurt Noble and I’m writing you to ask for something special this year during Christmas!
Here is my list of good deeds this year:
1. I’ve helped my daddy shave his butt.
2. I helped my grandfather remove his socks, although it was kind of weird because there is a bad smell on his foot.
3. I haven’t even looked at a girl all year long!
Now if you could help me in a few areas, I’d really appreciate it. I’ve been a
I also don’t understand how you have haven’t sent any girlfriend for me. I am just asking for one girlfriend, and I will be happy with her. All the other guys in APW can have more than four girlfriends. What is that they have and I don’t? I am bored with your chocolates and other gifts. Now I am grown up and this Christmas, I’d like a blonde girlfriend and by girlfriend I’m really meaning the Overdrive Championship.
You know that I’m pretty fond of this girl but I think she likes someone else. She is always hanging around this guy named Johnny Rebel, whom I know is better than me in every way! He’s bigger, stronger, better looking and doesn’t have a gimpy leg. I hate him! There was this one time where I snuck in to his locker room and put some chewing gum in his sitting place. When he stood up everybody could see the gum stuck to his behind! It was hilarious!
Now, I want to show him who’s the best…and I think I can do so if you would just grant me these three wishes:
a. I would like a white pony so that when I grow up…I can take Jason Kash for a ride!
b. I would also like a black leather jacket, a pair of red ruby shoes with heels and a gold chain.
c. Please bring me a long whip so that I can punish
d. Finally, a match with Johnny Rebel where he’d lay down and hand me over the Overdrive Championship.
I <3 You,
Kurt Noble
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The only thing that sits on top of my Christmas list is the Overdrive championship…and Kurt, I’ve been incredibly well behaved this year!
#SIMPLY
#FN
#PUT!
