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Post by Dita Morgan on May 1, 2012 16:47:31 GMT -4
I haven't really been fedding for several years now, so my rp's are a little scrappy.
But any advice or feedback would be great to know.
Thanks.
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Post by Kurt on May 18, 2012 19:57:02 GMT -4
Gimme an RP to feedback and you can have it. If I don't respond in 24 hours, just PM me with an angry rant about how I'm a liar. That'll get my attention, ha.
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Post by yarmouth1 on May 20, 2012 6:30:50 GMT -4
From what i have read Your role plays are very good, better then mine any way lol
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Pepsi
Semi-Main Eventer
Posts: 605
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Post by Pepsi on May 22, 2012 0:59:12 GMT -4
Not sure which of your pieces you were wanting feedback for. I'm assuming that you were referring to your Mayhem rp, so that's the one I will give feedback on.
First off, your rp was quite short. With a 3000 word limit you used up not even 1/3 of that. Length is not always the main thing, but in a multi person match where your opponents are going to utilize every word they can, it does make a difference.
Also you made little mention of your opponents. In fact there was basically none. I have always viewed writing an rp as kind of a sales job. You need to sell the judges on why you should be the one who wins. That means highlighting their flaws, and magnifying your strengths over them.
Also, it was a one dimensional rp. It was only an interview piece. It would have been helpful to add some sort of story element to this rp. There is only so much you can do with an interview piece. I would have liked to have seen some sort of story to tell me more about who Dita is, and what her motivations are.
All that being said, I think you are a very talented writer. I always worry when I give feedback that people will think I'm only being negative. That's not my intention, I just always like to see people improve and thrive. I think you definitely have the potential and look forward to seeing more from you.
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Post by goodburn on May 22, 2012 18:49:25 GMT -4
From what I read you have a solid character being developed. I agree with Pepsin on some points. First having a long roleplay sets up an intimnation factor. When someone looks at it, it lets them know that you mean business. But don't drag it out. And on a personal level, I bate Fifty Shades Of Grey. Lol. Just messing around. But your sentence structure is solid, no grammer problems at all. Just find a way to use up those 3,000 words
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