Post by showtime on May 4, 2012 15:58:00 GMT -4
A small, dinky gym with a small, dinky wrestling ring under a small, dinky bar is where Team Terrific does their terrific training. "Smooth" Tommy Walker and "The Masterpiece" Mike Hunter are in the middle of a tense debate...
"Smooth" Tommy Walker: I can't do it!
Mike Hunter looks at Tommy in a way that suggests tempers are at ends of.
"The Masterpiece" Mike Hunter: Tommy...
STW: I can't hit a woman!
Mike rolls his eyes. But the torque of the roll, it seems this conversation has gone on for some time.
MMH: So what then? You just walk to the ring, wave to the fans and LAY DOWN?
STW: It's not...
MMH: ...THAT SIMPLE? Is that what you were gonna say? We knew this would happen when we signed up! A Co-Ed roster means eventually we would be booked to face women! What is your freaking problem Tommy?
STW: I can't hit a woman! OW!
While Tommy may have qualms about who he will hit, it seems Tommy is not on Mike's list.
MMH: I am just about up to here ('here' being an arbitrary place on his forehead marked by his hand) with you! We have two options: Go out there and beat Dita Morgan & Torrie Leigh, or go out there to lose. And you know what? I am not going to lose, buddy!
Tommy looks absolutely miserable.
STW: You don't get it! Once upon a time I fought a woman in some jerkwater fed about six years ago. And even though I won, I got me this reputation as a guy who could only win by beating women! And you know how that affected my marketability? Why to you think I was jerking curtains when we met?
Mike looks at Tommy; incredulity is a good word to describe his face. Also when do you get a chance to ever use "incredulity"?
MMH: You're saying even if we win we lose?
STW: Yes! You want to go back across the border?
MMH: Hell no! I am NOT putting that mask on again!
STW: You want some gaucho in Guadalupe throwing a cup of piss at you? Again?
MMH: NO!
STW: And now you see my problem!
Both members of Team Terrific shake their heads with dejection. Hunter suddenly looks up...
MMH: Unless...
STW: Unless? Mike, you know I hate it when you say "unless" like you're about to sell me junk bonds.
Mike ignores Tommy and begins stroking his sweet sweet mustache.
MMH: What if, instead of being That Team who only fights ladies, we be That Team which faces all comers?
STW: I fail to see the difference.
MMH: Well figure this. We don't want to look like sexists by refusing to fight them.
Tommy nods.
STW: Right. That's the first catch.
MMH: And we don't wantto be the mean men who beat up women.
STW: Catch number B.
MMH: And we certainly will lose some credibility if we lose to them.
STW: The final catch. All about the cred, yo.
Mike thrusts his foot within an inch of Tommy's face.
MMH: I've warned you what happens if you ever talk like that.
STW: But we're screwed either which way Mike! What is this "unless" that you've got?
Mike smiles.
MMH: What if we give them a chance to forfeit?
STW: I don't follow.
MMH: Yeah, you just sit there and look pretty. What I mean is we put to offer out to Dita and Leigh.
Tommy continues to look perplexed.
STW: So...?
MMH: We are gentlemen to offer then the chance to back out. But! We are fighters who will answer all challenges, Man, Woman, or whatever!
STW: So we look either classy or hardcore, depending on their answer.
MMH: Right.
STW: Well then. Can I do it? Can I?
Mike shrugs. Tommy bounces happily. Be then clears his throat and tries to look mean. Or constipated.
STW: Torrie Leigh! Dita Morgan! Team Terrific backs down from not anyone! You are anyone, and as such we will NOT BACK DOWN FROM YOU!
Mike's eyes roll again.
MMH: Real killer stuff, "Smooth."
STW: BUT! We offer you this once chance! Do not miss this chance! We give you the opportunity to walk away! Do NOT face us! Save yourself the hardship and pain! Do not think this offer will be given again!
MMH: Did you just... did you quote a Foreigner song lyric?
STW: Shh.. I'm on a roll!
Mike gestures in a way that says "go right ahead."
STW: But if you refuse our generous offer! We cannot be held accountable for the actions we will take!
MMH: Why not?
STW: Figure of speech. DITA! TORRIE! This is you ONLY CHANCE! Save face or beat your face! We can give you either!
Mike claps slowly, sarcastically.
MMH: Yeah. From now on, I'll do the promos, okay.
STW: Hey, what do you mean, "be pretty"?
Fade.
"Smooth" Tommy Walker: I can't do it!
Mike Hunter looks at Tommy in a way that suggests tempers are at ends of.
"The Masterpiece" Mike Hunter: Tommy...
STW: I can't hit a woman!
Mike rolls his eyes. But the torque of the roll, it seems this conversation has gone on for some time.
MMH: So what then? You just walk to the ring, wave to the fans and LAY DOWN?
STW: It's not...
MMH: ...THAT SIMPLE? Is that what you were gonna say? We knew this would happen when we signed up! A Co-Ed roster means eventually we would be booked to face women! What is your freaking problem Tommy?
STW: I can't hit a woman! OW!
While Tommy may have qualms about who he will hit, it seems Tommy is not on Mike's list.
MMH: I am just about up to here ('here' being an arbitrary place on his forehead marked by his hand) with you! We have two options: Go out there and beat Dita Morgan & Torrie Leigh, or go out there to lose. And you know what? I am not going to lose, buddy!
Tommy looks absolutely miserable.
STW: You don't get it! Once upon a time I fought a woman in some jerkwater fed about six years ago. And even though I won, I got me this reputation as a guy who could only win by beating women! And you know how that affected my marketability? Why to you think I was jerking curtains when we met?
Mike looks at Tommy; incredulity is a good word to describe his face. Also when do you get a chance to ever use "incredulity"?
MMH: You're saying even if we win we lose?
STW: Yes! You want to go back across the border?
MMH: Hell no! I am NOT putting that mask on again!
STW: You want some gaucho in Guadalupe throwing a cup of piss at you? Again?
MMH: NO!
STW: And now you see my problem!
Both members of Team Terrific shake their heads with dejection. Hunter suddenly looks up...
MMH: Unless...
STW: Unless? Mike, you know I hate it when you say "unless" like you're about to sell me junk bonds.
Mike ignores Tommy and begins stroking his sweet sweet mustache.
MMH: What if, instead of being That Team who only fights ladies, we be That Team which faces all comers?
STW: I fail to see the difference.
MMH: Well figure this. We don't want to look like sexists by refusing to fight them.
Tommy nods.
STW: Right. That's the first catch.
MMH: And we don't wantto be the mean men who beat up women.
STW: Catch number B.
MMH: And we certainly will lose some credibility if we lose to them.
STW: The final catch. All about the cred, yo.
Mike thrusts his foot within an inch of Tommy's face.
MMH: I've warned you what happens if you ever talk like that.
STW: But we're screwed either which way Mike! What is this "unless" that you've got?
Mike smiles.
MMH: What if we give them a chance to forfeit?
STW: I don't follow.
MMH: Yeah, you just sit there and look pretty. What I mean is we put to offer out to Dita and Leigh.
Tommy continues to look perplexed.
STW: So...?
MMH: We are gentlemen to offer then the chance to back out. But! We are fighters who will answer all challenges, Man, Woman, or whatever!
STW: So we look either classy or hardcore, depending on their answer.
MMH: Right.
STW: Well then. Can I do it? Can I?
Mike shrugs. Tommy bounces happily. Be then clears his throat and tries to look mean. Or constipated.
STW: Torrie Leigh! Dita Morgan! Team Terrific backs down from not anyone! You are anyone, and as such we will NOT BACK DOWN FROM YOU!
Mike's eyes roll again.
MMH: Real killer stuff, "Smooth."
STW: BUT! We offer you this once chance! Do not miss this chance! We give you the opportunity to walk away! Do NOT face us! Save yourself the hardship and pain! Do not think this offer will be given again!
MMH: Did you just... did you quote a Foreigner song lyric?
STW: Shh.. I'm on a roll!
Mike gestures in a way that says "go right ahead."
STW: But if you refuse our generous offer! We cannot be held accountable for the actions we will take!
MMH: Why not?
STW: Figure of speech. DITA! TORRIE! This is you ONLY CHANCE! Save face or beat your face! We can give you either!
Mike claps slowly, sarcastically.
MMH: Yeah. From now on, I'll do the promos, okay.
STW: Hey, what do you mean, "be pretty"?
Fade.
