Asylum 5/6- Ponce, Puerto Rico

[biggs]

Ida Marie's "Bad Karma" blares over the speaker as the camera pans across the screaming and cheering fans. In the crowd, ‘Ka$h’ signs, ‘I <3 Sally’ and ‘Callahan for Prez!’ signs litter the place, the lights a dazzle and the noise deafening.

Nailz: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Asylum! I’m here with my broadcast partner as usual - Steve Beckett - and what a show we have in store for you tonight! Stave?

Beckett: That’c right Russ. My boy Rico is taking on Isamu Suzuki. Manservant is squaring off against Billy Pepsi, and don’t you think for a moment that Julius Farquhar is going to get involved here!

Nailz: I doubt anyone was thinking that. We’ev got Mike Morrison going up against Donovan Caine too. And soon we’ll be seing Johnny Sykes going up against the man creating all the waves at the moment: Alonso Famoso.

Beckett: And then we’ve got one heck of a main event in store for you tonight.

Nailz: That’s right Steve. A ten-person main event. Five-on-five. And ... wait, I’m getting word we’re going to be hearing about this from some of the megastars themselves.

‘Can’t Be Touched’ hits the PA. The lights dim down and a hazy-green covers the fans. They’re on the feet, cheering and screaming knowing the World Heavyweight Champion will soon be in their midst. And there he is! He walks out to stage, basking in the spotlight with the Heavyweight Title draped over his shoulder. After being absent largely from last week, he lives up the moment. He heads towards the ring, slapping hands with fans.

Stenfelder: Making his way to the ring at this moment, the APW World Heavyweight Champion: Jason Kash! [/color]

Kash is in the ring, and poses for the fans on the turnbuckles, before jumping down to the mat, slapping Adam on the back with a grin. They trade some jokes, Adam hands the mic over with a laugh, and Kash has the stage.

Kash: Buenas noches, Pone. Buenas noches! *Pop for speaking the local language!* Welcome to Asylum, the best damn show APW’s got. And Puerto Rico get the best!

Another huge pop for Kash as he gets this already frantic crowd whipped up into a frenzy.

Kash: This week you’re in for one hell of a main event tonight. Biggest one on our tour down here. We’ve shown you plenty these past few week, but this is where it’s all happening. I want to tell you right now that you’re going to see the best talent Asylum has to offer. You know it, I know it, and those monkeys who think they’re going to be beating my team tonight know it too.

A ‘monkeys’ chant starts up, catching Kash off-guard. He can only laugh at the whole predicament.

Kash: But you know what? Words doesn’t do our team justice. I mean, I could describe the raw skill Anthony Bailey has... *Big cheer for the new guys* ... or the unrestrained drive that the Studmuffins have ... *Big cheer for the tag champs* ... or the legendary status of Sally Talfourd and those legs and that face and those ... *Kash is drowned out by the cheers from the crowd* ... anyway. I could describe all that ... or I could get them out here right now just for you Pone. What do you say!?

The crowd goes wild, cheering and screaming at the prospect of catching and extra few minutes of their favourites. Kash looks around, pretending to try and figure out what the fans want. He holds up a hand to silence them. Then counts down on his hand...

3 ...

2 ...

1 ...

Kash: Showtime!

‘Losin’ Your Mind’ hits the PA as Kash throws his hand towards the stage. The fans’ cheering is quickly replaced by boo’ing as they know who’s coming. Kash glares up to the stage as Michael Callahan - Pro-Life Title slung over his shoulder, makes his way out. He’s got the cocky swagger in his step and a smirk from ear to ear.

Callahan: Kash, you’re in there talking about talent and skill and the like. I didn’t want you to be embarrassed when those hacks that you call a team come out, so I thought I’d save your sorry ass. *Callahan yells over his shoulder* Boys! Come on out.

Quickly, Julius Farquhar, Matt Matlock, Chaz Dillinger, and Johnny Knuckles line up alongside Callahan on the stage. Callahan looks from one end to the other, gives a knowing nod to Kash.

Kash: Is that it? That’s your excuse for talent? Callahan, I knew you were loco, but not stupid!

Callahan trades some words with Knuckles, then Dillinger, then all five men race down to the ring. Kash throws the mic aside, then gets himself ready. Callahan is first under the ropes and gets nose-to-nose with Kash. They start yelling words at each other, spitting them out with all the venom you’d expect between two big names. Farquhar stands over Callahan’s shoulder. Knuckles presses up against Kash from one side, Dillinger on the other. Matlock is busy trying to keep out two of the Asylum refs.

Callahan: You know, for all that talent you’ve got on your team, it seems that they’re lacking one thing. Intelligence. You’d think they’d be down here to protect their biggest name, right? Or maybe...just maybe... they’re looking to cut off the driftwood. Maybe you’re too heavy to carry through this match, hey Kash? You know, the World Champion who’s past it. The guy who didn’t know when to throw in the towel. The ... paper ... champion.

Sally: Something about throwing stones in glass houses comes to mind Callahan.

The crowd is all a frenzy again! There on the stage, Sally Talfourd has led out the Studmuffins and Anthony Bailey. All of them look like they’re ready for a good ol’ fashioned street fight. Callahan is shoves Kash away, and the only reason he’s not shoving back is because Dillinger and Farquhar hold him back.

Callahan: Well if it isn’t Kash’ calvary. Though, in saying that, you’re the only one up there who would pass off as a horse. *Ooo’s from the crowd. Sally just rolls her eyes*

Sally: Callahan, you’re a fit for a politician: All talk, no walk!

Bang! Kash has got free and crash-tackles Callahan. Dillinger and Farquhar are quick to lay into him and Callahan crawls out of the fray. They don’t need to be asked - the rest of Kash’s team is quick to get down into the ring. And then it’s everyone for themselves. Kash sticks it to Knuckles, trading blow-for-blow. Sally corners Callahan, and they’re going shot-for-shot. Dillinger has paired off with Bailey, pinning him on the mat and reigning fists down on him. The Studmuffins manage to get Dillinger off, but they are set on by Matlock and Farquhar.

Nailz: The main event has come early!

Beckett: This is outrageous! Kash and his team have ruined this whole show!

The Studmuffins throw Farquhar out of the ring, then go to work on Matlock. Knuckles has Kash on the ropes. Callahan has reversed his situation and is stomping into Sally. Baily’s turned the tables on Dillinger and has him locked up on the mat.

Schmidt: That’s enough! Break this up at once! Security, get down there!

Reginald - everyone’s least favourite GM - has run out to the stage with the APW security in tow. They, along with a bunch of officials, all race down to the ring to break it all up. After some struggles, both teams have been separated enough do that they get to face down on opposite sides of the ring. Kash, with blood trickling down his face already, takes up Callahan’s old mic.

Kash: See you soon, guys. See you real soon.

There’s some more trading of words between all of them, but you can’t hear it over the crowd.

Nailz: It looks like it’s going to be a real fight later tonight! You won’t want to miss a second of it!

Beckett: You won’t want to miss a second of Kash and Talfourd and the rest of them getting their asses whooped! They had no right to be out here!

Nailz: Well, we’ll see who has a right to be in the ring at the end of that epic. Stay tuned!

Backstage. Julius Farquhar is walking the corridor in his unique “Quintessentially English” way when he bumps into his-former-employee-turned-APW-Megastar, a.k.a. Manservant, and Manservant’s ‘speech therapist’ Dr. Weazel.

Julius: I hope you realise it is a public order offense to loiter with ill-intent.

Dr. Weazel: Julius, I wish you would cease with all this hostility. We just came by to wish you good luck in your big ‘main event’ match tonight. Also, we wanted to make sure that you are going to fulfil your contractual obligation to be with Manservant at ringside during his match.

Julius: Contractual obligation? This whole Manservant charade is just another form of persecution meted out against me by that dastardly Reginald Schmidt.

Dr. Weazel: Julius, I really hope you will be there. I know that Manservant is very excited to have you there by his side; aren’t you Manservant?

Manservant: *Grunt*

Julius rolls his eyes.

Dr. Weazel: I’m sure you will agree that this is a wonderful opportunity for Manservant, and I’m sure you would do whatever it takes to help him out.

Julius: Him? He’s a treacherous backstabber; why for the love of Nelson’s eyepatch would I want to help him?

Dr. Weazel: I don’t think you quite understand me.

Dr. Weazel reaches over to Julius, cupping his ears, and starts to whisper something that is known only to Weazel and Julius. Julius eyes widen with shock and surprise.

Julius: You! You would not do such a thing, you beast!

Dr. Weazel raises an eyebrow that tells Julius is very serious about his intentions, whatever they may be.

Dr. Weazel: I think it is safe to say we understand each other.

Julius sighs with resignation.

Dr. Weazel: Manservant must win tonight – are we clear about that?

Julius: Don’t worry, I have the perfect idea.

Dr. Weazel: I’m glad to hear it. Come on Manservant, let’s get you into your spandex.

Dr. Weazel walks off with Manservant; Weazel wears a mask of satisfaction, Manservant hasn’t a clue what is going on; Julius looks irate. The scene fades to commercial break.

[biggs]

During a commercial break we see a slow motion flashback shows the ring from Overdrive this past week. The camera is panning around the red carpet lined ring. The audio from Overdrive is muted and there is a slight golden tint to the coloring on screen. Then a voice over announcer is heard speaking.

“Persian Silk Blood Red Carpet: 12,000$”

Then the camera pans over to the table with the delicious assortment of food. It pans over the exotic fruit and expensive cheese selected for the wondrous event.

“Sher’s Five Star rated Fruit and Cheese Platter: 500$”

Next the camera cuts to Mayor Rob Ford strutting to the ring. A big smile is on his face as he waves to the people. The fanfare is still muted and the playback is shown in slow motion.

“Public Appearance fee for reelection campaign funds: 2000$”

The fourth scene shows Felipe DeLoren pouring glasses of wine for everyone save for L1 and Johnny Rebel who instead are having some fruit punch. As the slow motion recap shows Felipe engaging in conversation with the Mayor the voice over continues:

“Opus One Vintage 1979 Merlot: 5000$”

Then the scene cuts to a standard speed playback, showing Slade and Shadow brawling with security personnel. The sound cues back up, but it’s a recording of the cheering fans from another arena screaming for the AKA. The entire scene is shown at normal speed. The AKA comes charging down the ramp and into the ring having cleared security as the LeWinter sisters slip out of the ring without hesitation. Felipe DeLoren tackles the Mayor despite not being in danger as a show to gain heroic sympathy from the pro Level-One crowd! Slade Craven and Level-One immediately begin to brawl as does Johnny Rebel and Shadow. Slade and Shadow both clothesline Level-One and Johnny Rebel over the ropes and to the outside of the ring as the LeWinter sisters come to their aid and help them up to their feet. The camera focuses on both Level One and Johnny Rebel as the voice over is heard yet again.

“Ruining Level One’s big night: Priceless”

The scene cuts to a float over of a Green and silver circle coming together part ways in the middle. The voice over continues.

“Most revenge in life-money CAN buy. For everything else, there is the A.K.A.”

The scene shows Slade and Shadow smiling with their arms folded over their chests. Sunglasses and jackets on as both men stare silently at the camera.

“Call now to hire.”

The screen fades to black before cutting to another commercial for Donkey Punch.

[biggs]

Stenfelder: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a Qualifying Match for the Ball Room Brawl at APW Mayhem!

As Johnny Sykes makes his way out of the curtain, I find myself becoming of the opinion that Alonso should win because he hasn't written an entrance for his profile and so has an incomplete contract. Also, I hate writing entrances so much. “Like A Boss” by The Lonely Island plays and he gets in the ring quickly. Taking a moment to pose, he basks in the delight of fan approval while waiting for his arrogant rich boy opponent to arrive.

Beckett: Johnny Sykes is a pain in the backside sometimes but the fans can't seem to get enough of him. It also helps that he's a solid, SOLID guy in the ring.

Nailz: He's not combat-tested as much as some people, but he's been impressive so far.

"Forward Motion" by Thousand Foot Krutch played through the PA System has a short chestnut hairred male appeared on the stage. The crowd booed him instantly when they discover that the male is no other than Alonso Famoso has the Italien Canadian's right hand ran through his soft, almost perfect, hair. Alonso then began to swaggerfully walk down the ramp-way, wasting no time in complimenting himself and declaring that he is everything they wish they could ever be. Once he got ringside Famoso basically sits down on the apron and checks himself out, using the titiantron has a mirror, electing another course of boos from the crowd. Once he fully completed this the male leaned back and rolled under the bottom rope and stood up in the middle of the ring before stating that "Haters Be Losers" to the crowd, igniting another set of boos towards the Canadian.

Beckett: Judging by this crowd reaction I'd say that these fans simply LOVE Alonso Famoso.

Nailz: I know, right? I just want to hold him close and give him a telling off, and to play nice with the other kids.

Beckett: You've got a sick mind.

Ball Room Brawl Qualifying Match
“The Original Prankster” Johnny Sykes VS “The Self Made Millionaire” Alonso Famoso

Alonso Famoso, who's nickname draws up certain connotations for me brings with him to the match an intent to do some bad boy killing but it doesn't appear that'll be the case today. Sykes has the height and weight advantage over the pint-sized Alonso and he attempts to exert this dominance with the use of a Triple German Suplex, a Running STO and an Enziguri Kick. Nevertheless, Alonso's fo fo makes sure all yo kids don't grow and he lays out Sykes with a Tornado DDT and a diving elbow drop into a cover attempt which only gets a 2.

Beckett: Damn. Famoso might be the same size as my nine year old step-daughter but he's certainly a better fighter than she is.

Nailz: I could make so many jokes that would get us taken off the air out of that it's unreal.

Beckett: Ughhh...

The match resumes as expected with Sykes regaining his control over the agile, scrambling little rich boy. It's a Cradle Piledriver from the bigger man that notches Sykes a two-count but alas, matches aren't won on two-counts. Could you imagine if they were? It's not until Famoso comes back with a surprise snap Enziguri that damn near decapitates the Original Prankster that we can safely say that Johnny Sykes just got drop. Little Famoso looks to hit the Billion Dollar Destroyer but as he goes for the lift, Sykes drags him Alabama Slam style to the nearest turnbuckle where he plants him down. Climbing up, he then drops Famoso with the Syke Out, 1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!

Winner: Johnny Sykes

Beckett: That's it! This one is over! Johnny Sykes is going to the Ball Room Brawl! It's a shame really, because I'm sure Famoso has plenty of exquisite suits in his extensive wardrobe.

Nailz: Dressing your kids up in suits is cruel though...

Beckett: Fair play to Famoso though. He went in and did some damage.

Stenfielder: Here is your winner... “The Original Prankster” Johnny Sykes!

Johnny is jumping up and down excitedly in the ring, pumping his fists as he does so. He then hops out of the ring and gives the fans in the front high fives as he continues to celebrate his victory.

Cutting backstage you see APW World Champion, Jason Kash rounding a corner. He has the World Title slapped over his shoulder and determination etched in his eyes. Coming to a stop, Kash turns his head and looks at the Office door of Reginald Schmidt. Turning to the door, Kash adjusts the World Title and taps on the door. Seconds pass and the door opens with a greeting smile from Mr. Schmidt.

Reginald: Come in, come in...

Kash: Did I catch you at a bad time?

Reginald: Not at all Jason, I was trying to doze off..

Kash: Wait, you're trying to fall asleep? At the show? You sick or something?

Reginald: I think I ate something bad last night. Not sure what it was but my stomach is twisting and turning. I've drank half a bottle of Pepto Bismol and I still am having problems. You think it might be food poisoning?

Kash: Do you have the runs? The shits? The Booty Gravy?

Reginald: That's disgusting Jason! (sighs) Is there something I can do for you?

Reginald slowly walks around and sits behind his desk. Kash stands at the front of the desk in between two chairs. He sits in neither, preferring to stand and discuss his reason for being here.

Kash: Actually, I have a request. See Mayhem will be a tough as nails match. I have no doubt that it will be my biggest challenge for this belt thus far. With that said though, it seems there is someone missing from this match wouldn't you agree?

Reginald: I'm not Double Booking Anthony Bailey at Mayhem. He will defend the TapOut Championship and that's not going to change. Sorry but the match at Mayhem will remain a Triple Threat. (sighs) Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sit on the toilet...

Kash: Wait, I wasn't asking for him to be added to Mayhem. What I am proposing is this. The first Asylum after the PPV, REGARDLESS of who walks out of Mayhem as the World Champion will defend the belt in the Main Event...against Anthony Bailey...

Reginald: Hmm..That's not a bad idea! He's defeated all involved in the World Title picture right now, almost in back to back weeks. Giving him a chance at the belt might just be the right move to really draw ratings! Why though would you risk that knowing he beat you not that long ago?

Kash: He's the new "Poster Boy" from how people are talking and I overlooked him a bit. Truth be told, he's earned his shot. He's stayed true to who he is and beat some of the better names on Asylum. He's not a bitch like Callahan who thinks he's a gift to this profession. So we good? He has his Title Shot? Regardless of who wins at Mayhem?

Reginald: Yes, fine, sure, I love it but could you PLEASE leave!! Oh boy! I'm not gonna make it!!

Reginald leaps up from his chair, Kash flinches back in a surprised reaction as the General Manager of Asylum clinches butt cheeks and woddles into the private Bathroom in his Office. Kash laughs and turns to leave the office, farts and rumble sounds vibrating from the bathroom as APW Asylum cuts to another commercial break.

[biggs]

Backstage. Billy Pepsi is inside his locker room with his manager Finn McGannigan going through some final preparations ahead of his match with Manservant.

Billy: ...and that's why I think the Green Power Ranger was the strongest of all.

Finn bangs his head on a nearby table, much to Billy's confusion. Finn leans in close and yells at Billy.

Finn; What does that have to do with Manservant? Focus on your match for crying out loud.

Suddenly the conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door and someone entering saying...

?: Yoo-hoo!

The camera pans to the door and it is revealed to be that most dastardly of Englishmen, Julius Farquhar, carrying a tray of what looks like afternoon tea.

Julius: Good evening chaps! I just thought I would pop in and say hello.

Finn: Who are you?

Julius exaggerates his shock that Finn is ignorant of his name.

Julius: I am Julius Farquhar, Asylum's only "Quintessentially English" wrestler.

Finn: You say it like it's some kind of accolade.

Julius: Now don't be a brute. I've just come by to wish Billy Pepsi good luck. I am fully aware that tonight he wrestles that treacherous employee of mine, Manservant. I want to tell Billy that I hope teaches that good-for-nothing scoundrel a lesson or two.

Billy: Wow, that's very kind of you. Maybe I had you all wrong. You're not such a Quintessential dingus after all.

Billy smiles with his token dopey gin. Finn looks very unsure of the situation.

Finn: I don't know about this Billy. How can we be sure we can trust him?

Billy: Come on Finn. You can always trust an Englishman. Remember if it wasn't for Winston Churchill discovering the lightbulb we'd be surrounded by candles.

Julius and Finn are both confused by this ridiculous statement. Julius gathers himself.

Julius: Anyway, as a token of my good faith in young Bill's ability I've brought this gift of "Quintessentially English" afternoon tea. I'm sure it will serve to add some extra strength and fire to his efforts. It is after all on what empires are built upon.

Billy beams with pride, Finn looks on sceptically as Julius distributes three cups and pours in the tea. What Finn also spots, and Billy does not, is Julius slipping something extra into Billy's cup. It could be sugar, but then, Finn reasons, why wouldn't you ask someone if they wanted sugar first, and why was it that only Billy's cup was "added to".

Finn: Hey, I think I just saw Sir Richard Attenborough out the window.

Julius looks out with excitement, but Billy looks at Finn kind of puzzled.

Finn: And he was walking with the green Power Ranger.

Billy's face lights up as he joins Julius looking out the window. With Julius and Billy's attention drawn away from the table Finn quickly switches the cups of Julius and Billy.

Finn: I'm sorry, I must have been mistaken.

Julius shrugs it offer as some strange curiosity of an ignorant American; Billy is none the wiser that anything out of the ordinary has occurred. Julius raises his cup.

Julius: To Billy Pepsi.

Billy beams at the toast given in his name then downs the contents of his cup and gives out a "aaaah" to signal he is very refreshed; a smirk creeps slowly across the face of Julius Farquhar.

Julius: Would you like some more tea, Billy?

Finn answers for his client.

Finn: I think he has had enough. He doesn't want to wrestle on a full stomach.

Julius: I understand. Well then, I shall leave you to get ready.

Finn: Good.

Julius: Good luck out there Billy.

Billy is feeling his muscles to check if the effects of the tea are taking hold.

Billy: Oh thanks, mister, thanks for the tea too.

Julius smiles and gets to his feet, but no sooner does he than he is forced to lean on the table feeling a bit dizzy.

Finn: Everything okay, Mr. Farquhar.

Julius looks at Finn and rage blazes in his eyes.

Julius: You son of a bi-

Julius doesn't finish the insult because he loses consciousness, his arm slips and his head slams onto the table they were sitting at. Billy looks on shocked and looks at Finn who shrugs with innocence or ignorance.

Finn: Strange. Must be decaf tea.

The camera zooms in on the slumbering body of Julius Farquhar before the scene fades.

Beckett: And now we hand off the reigns off Asylum for just a little bit and hand them over to the wonderful Phil Atken at ramp top!

Nailz: How in the hell is he back again after last weeks disaster? Is Reginald even watching his own show anymore?

Beckett: How dare you, this is now Phil's show, not Reggie's.

The cameras cut to the Atken's Asylum set once more set up next to the entrance way. The set has a new addition this week however, as a rather tall and well built gentleman with a t-shirt that merely says the work “HANK” on it finds himself standing, cross armed next to Phil's good old hostin' chair. Once again, Dirk Dickwood staggers out from backstage in a less than delighted fashion, microphone wielded and ready to fire. He once again pulls a card out of his jacket pocket but has a little more fire to his delivery this week.

Dickwood: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Asylum's most beloved personality, a man who's career was tragically cut short at the hands of no good tomfoolery and now has become the guiding light and true spokesman of the brand. He is the former Lord Sexypants, get up off your greasy feet and clap your cheeto dust stained hands as you welcome.... PHIL ATKEN!

'Heavyweight Champion of the World' fires up as a besuited Phil Atken bounds out of the entrance way, styling and profiling as one man may say. He gently guides his good friend Dirk Dickwood to the backstage area before once again posing for the fans, ear cupping, flexing, you name it, has blatantly panders with it. He gives HANK a pat on the shoulder and HANK in turn returns the favour by giving him a death glare. Phil takes his position and grabs a microphone off the table.

Atken: And as Asylum continues its tour of Puerto Rico, so does Atken's Asylum. PONE, HOW WE FEELIN' TONIGHT!?

There is at best a tepid reaction for Phil's cheapest of cheap pop as he shuffles so.

Atken: Two weeks ago we had an explosive first edition of this wonderful little program as the well known donkey crap miner Johnny Knoxville tried to attack your poor, innocent host for simply asking what the fans want to know. Well, I thoughts to myself “we can't very well have that happen again”, so please if you would, welcome Atken's Asylum's chief of security, Hank, ladies and gentlemen, Hank.

Another tepid reaction for the APW faithful in Pone.

Atken: Well enough of my ole yammerin' mouth, after all, this show is nothing without APW's own Megastars. So without further ado, I would like to welcome out a man who has been having a little bit of trouble with Donovan Caine and his religious bandwagon as of late. Please if you could, welcome to the show Mr. Isamu Suzuki!

The crowd heat up for the arrival of Isamu as "RISING" hits the speakers, opening with the drums. The lights start flashing around the crowd as the shamisen start playing over the speaker systems, but still no sign of Isamu. At twenty seconds, in place of the usual "He" for the song, Isamu's voice echos across the speakers with a "EYAH!". The crowd again begin to cheer as Isamu steps out from the back, dressed in his ring gear. He side steps around HANK and nods to Atken as takes his seat opposite.

Atken: Isamu, thanks for coming on the show, I have to ask, do many people call you Yamaha?

Atken giggles to himself as a drum roll plays as if from nowhere over the loud speakers. Isamu quirks an eyebrow, then shakes his head a bit.

Suzuki: More than I'd like to admit, but I've long since accepted that those people are usually trying to get under my skin, so I just shrug it off. I've been called worse things, after all.

Atken: I see. Speaking of being called worse things, do you consider yourself a sinful cancer that must be purged from the world?

The APW fans in attendance boo, though it should be clear that they are booing Donovan Caine's rhetoric. Isamu scratches the back of his head as he tries to formulate a response, but the crowd booing doesn't really give him an opening, so Atken has to wave them off.

Atken: Now obviously I'm being a little glib, a little bit cheeky because as we know, that is what Donovan Caine and his mad-religious posse have being saying as of late. Now, on a more serious note, how does a man like you take your family getting tied up in all this business?

Suzuki: That's tough to answer.

Atken: Well that's why I'm here. I ask the hard questions so we can get the tough facts.

The crowd chuckles a bit as Isamu just shakes his head some more, stalling to come up with an answer. It seems he's not used to interview environments.

Suzuki: I mean, I don't like that Donovan Caine thinks he has to bring my family issues into this to get in my head, but I don't honestly know what to make of it. David-san says it's a sign of weakness, that he feels he needs leverage over me to feel superior, but I'm not so sure he isn't just...what's the word...a looney.

This gets a bit of a reaction from the crowd, and a grin from the interviewer. But it quickly evaporates as he moves to another hard question.

Atken: Do you really think you can take down Caine? I mean after all he has an army of followers, all you have is David Fireson.

Suzuki: It will be a challenge to be sure, but I believe I am up to the task. At the end of the day, if we are granted a match, it will come down to Caine versus Suzuki, not Caine and his four disciples versus Suzuki and Fireson. He has shown himself to be without honor and respect, but I will not sink to his level.

Atken: That's all very well and good, but hasn't the era of honour passed us by? Aren't you merely a relic from the past?

Isamu looks at Atken with a rather emotionless expression, not sure how to react to Atken saying this.

Atken: I mean maybe, if you really cared about Caine's actions, you should go backstage right now and whack him in the back of the head with a shovel. Maybe that's the new honour.

Isamu scratches his head again, formulating a response. It's not made any easier when the Pone crowd starts chanting "SHOVEL! SHOVEL!" Eventually he answers.

Suzuki: It may be a concept that is out of date, but apparently so is the similar concept of chivalry. Doesn't everyone mourn the passing of chivalry? Then why is my concept of honor outdated? I don't see how it is befitting an APW Megastar to waltz backstage and assault a fellow athlete unawares and uncondoned.

Donovan Caine will get what's coming to him when we meet again in the ring in a scheduled match, but not before then.

Atken: Now putting honour to one side, are you at all concerned that Donovan Caine may been getting in the head of poor ole David Fireson? Can you even trust him at this point? Can he even trust you?

At least something Atken throws out, Isamu can answer promptly.

Suzuki: I have already discussed the incident from two weeks ago with David-san, and I can assure you that there is no tension or doubt between us.

Atken: See, I see things a little bit differently. What I see is...

And before the erstwhile Lord Sexypants can pound out exactly what it is he sees, "Helena" plays over the speakers to a chorus of unrelenting boos. These boos only get louder when Donovan Caine steps out from behind the curtain, with Noah, Gabriel, Ezekiel, and Jonah, his Legion, in tow close behind. Isamu is immediately more tense as he faces the rampway. Caine has a microphone in hand and is talking even before he makes it to the ring.

Caine: Phil Atken, I think you and Hank can leave the ring now. This is between the servants of God and Lucifer, and I wouldn't want you to get mixed up in what's about to happen.

Atken and Hank look around the ring and see Caine's Legion surrounding it. Deciding they don't want any part in this, they bow out gracefully, though that leaves Isamu alone in the ring with Caine, surrounded by hostiles.

Caine: We meet again. In the ring, even. Isn't this what you wanted?

Suzuki: I wanted a sanctioned match in the ring.

Caine: Such an odd man, you are. You are among the most vile scum of APW, yet you still cling to your precious honor. It's actually getting pitiable now.

The crowd boos as Caine circles the ring, Isamu always careful to keep his eyes on the King of the Dead, and his feet more than an arm's length from the apron.

Caine: But I'm not out here to fight you right now. I just wanted to tell you I did a little bit of research into your little obsession that should shed light on your hypocrisy for all the APW faithful.

The crowd murmurs, though most still boo, as Isamu furrows his brow.

Suzuki: How do you mean?

Caine: Well, I could go on and on, but as that is not my style...

He pauses here for a wave of boos to wash down on him. Caine smirks at Isamu before continuing.

Caine: ...I will cut right to the chase. In your country, honor is a valued, if antiquated concept born from the age of samurai, is it not?

Isamu nods, glowering as someone else calls his one constant belief antiquated.

Caine: Well what would you say if I told you the code of honor, or bushido as you might call it, is completely fabricated? And then I wonder what you'd say if I then told you that it was fabricated by a paranoid medieval warlord as a way to keep nosy or ambitious men from stabbing him and stealing his kingdom?

The crowd is booing heavily, but Isamu seems even more disturbed, face screwed up in what might be anger or disgust.

Suzuki: You're lying.

Caine: I'm not.

Suzuki: Then you're wrong!

Donovan Caine just laughs.

Caine: I don't think I am, because I had a little bit of help in my research this week.

Caine then stops and turns to the jumbotron, signalling to it as an image of him walking out of a building with a smirk plastered on his face. Many fans don't recognize it, but there are loud gasps from those who do. A murmur builds as friends pass on the knowledge and it works its way through the crowd, but before it reaches everyone, the Caine on the screen walks out of the shot and leaves just the building, and the camera focuses on a window that then has an older Japanese woman with a strong resemblence to Isamu standing at it, looking none too impressed with the man walking away.

Isamu goes rigid, visibly shaking.

Suzuki: What...did you do...?

Caine: Oh, I didn't do anything. We just spoke for a bit. Not even about you, just the history of your people and your family. She was a lovely woman, I'm not sure how you could be so--

Suzuki: What did you do.

Caine: Well if you must know, I mainly spoke to her about your precious honor. That's how I found out it was all a farce, meant to keep Japanese men and boys obedient to their elders.

Isamu shakes as Caine soaks up a fresh batch of hate from the crowd, with his Legion only encouraging them.

Caine: So I have to ask, how does it feel to know your whole life has been a--

Before he can say what Isamu's life has been, Isamu charges across the ring and tackles Caine to the mat with a huge cheer from the crowd. He throws wild punches, only some of which hit Caine, as the Legion rushes into the ring and pulls Isamu off. Caine stands up, touches his lip, and smirks. Isamu fights against his captors' grasp, but Caine does not attack this time. He picks his microphone up off the mat, then signals to his flunkies to let Isamu go as he rolls out of the ring. They do as bidden and join him at the foot of the ramp while Isamu remains in the ring, still shaking in anger.

Caine: I'm trying to save your immortal soul but it's too late for you. But these people can all be saved all they have to do now is kneel before The King Of The Dead. And join me with one last prayer befor we go into that sinful event known as Mayhem. Repentance will be found whether you like it or not!!!

The lights flicker once more while Caine & The Legion are in mid-prayer leaving Isamu left in the ring as they soon evaporate in thin air. The commentators then give their answer to confusing actions.

Nailz:Poor Isamu Suzuki can't seem to catch a break... But after the fire we saw in him on this night we can expect payback on Caine. And you payback's a b--

Beckett:Hold it, my brain washed colleague chilvary and honour has passed it's time to usher in the word of god. I mean if it was up to Donovan Caine he'd six feet under the entire APW locker room until they understand God's will.

The scene opens up as Johnny Knuckles is in his locker room. The unusual thing is that instead of getting prepared for his match, he is instead; trying to feed his newly acquired "baby" or golden egg, who is completey dolled up as a baby head to toe, and speaking to it in baby talk, or jibberish if you will.

Knuckles: Who's a hungry guy.....yes you are...yes you are. You ate that up like a big boy, yes you did. Boo boo, ticky ticky ticky.

Knuckles picks up the "baby" and starts trying to burp it when Cindy Shannon walks in on a very disturbing site.

Cindy: You can't be serrious....

Knuckles: What' wrong Shanon? Jealous? Angry cuz' i got a kid an' yous' don't?

Cindy: Jealous of what? Of you losing your mind? It's an EGG!!

Knuckles: We all start off as eggs at some point Cindy.

Cindy: Touche'.

BURRRRPPP!!

Cindy: HOLY HELL!! Whats that smell?

Knuckles: That's Daddy's lil' stinkah'.....yes it is!

Knuckles puts the "baby" down and starts taking off it's "diaper". The camera zooms in to find a BABY RUTH inside and half melted. Cindy took a brief look and stepped back in disgust not realizing that its just a candy bar.

Knuckles: OHHHHHH whata' BIG boy.......

Knuckles, feeling kinda curious, smells it for a second before taking a bite out of it. The site of this makes Cindy GAG as she throws herself up against the wall.

Cindy: Oh My God! They don't pay me enough for this shit......

Without hesitation, Cindy bolts from the room. Knuckles looks up at the camera with chocolate and peanuts engrossed in his teeth and all over his mouth.

Knuckles: Can't have a match lookin' like this. I better go brush my teeth or somthin'.

Knuckles walks off as the scene fades.

[biggs]

Backstage in the infernal labyrinth of corridors that is the Asylum arena, our duly elected wrestling representative brings us back from the commercial. Desperately in hot pursuit, he knocks people, papers and props all over the place as he seeks after the one they call Sally Talfourd. Earlier in the week, rumour mills have been a whir and the APW website has “confirmed” that “The American Hero” Michael Callahan is going one on one with “The Last Magician” Sally Talfourd. A decision that Callahan is entirely unprivvy to. Especially after the events that started the night off - the ruckus that unfolded in the ring. Callahan is adamant that conspiracy and treachery is a foot and the first thing he does is look to consult the leading lady of Asylum herself with his unbridled, Republican aggression.

It doesn't take long to find a crowd pleaser like Sally Talfourd and as expected, Callahan heads straight on a war charge. Looking to invade her personal space for her crimes against Camp Callahan, he gets within grill chewing distance of the former Undisputed Champion before unleashing a vulgar tirade against the woman who has consistently tormented him these past few weeks. Sally, still licking her wounds from the tango that she was in earlier in the show, is idly swirling the contents of a bottle of Mountain Dew,.

Michael Callahan: Now listen here you dirty Seattle harlot, you had some guts pulling the stunt you did before! *Sally goes to speak, but Callahan isn't about to let up* And where do you think you earn the right to go making matches without even consulting me?

Callahan's attempt at intimidation don't remotely faze Sally who cockily, simply gives a basic cast-away answer to his loaded question.

Sally Talfourd: I earned that right when I became Asylum's hottest commodity after my show-stealing performance at Rasslemania. A privilege, you dirty DC politician, you'll fortunately never have.

Sally's melodramatic attempt at arrogance is quickly disregarded by Callahan as not being the reason for her almost obsessive level of attention she's been paying him lately. Callahan desperately wants to get a straight answer out of her, but everyone's favourite Washingtonian is notoriously difficult to pin down.

Michael Callahan: What's this all about Sally? Come on. Level with me. I have no idea what your bone to pick is so you might as well just have at it and tell me what the big deal is.

Sally sighs at Callahan's total naivety to his own horrific nature and decides to spell it out for him, because not even Dora the Explorer could hope to simplify to a guy like Callahan the massive, gaping flaws in his personality.

Sally Talfourd: Well beyond the fact that you're abrasive, rude, racist, a mysoginist and arguably the most unpleasant man on the Asylum roster, the fact of the matter is that you owe me $100 dollars that I'm still yet to collect on. *Sally holds up her hand to stop another Callahan rant* I know, not much to the likes of you. But it's a matter of principle and holding someone to their word. You ruined a gorgeous little pair of shoes and I want the money back to buy a new pair. You said you'd pay for it, and now it's time!

Callahan can't help but scoff at the suggestion that this is all because of a measly $100 dollars. He prods further and tries to get more out of her by insulting her reason.

Michael Callahan: Oh get over it. It's $100 dollars. That's pocket money to someone like you and me.

Sally Talfourd: Which is exactly why you should pay me. If you can afford to go blow all your money on skin tight pants and lycra thongs to parade yourself around in like you did last week then you can afford to give me the money you owed me for ruining my shoes.

Knowing that there's absolutely no way Sally is going to budge on the money, Callahan reluctantly sighs and starts padding himself down to try and find his wallet. He's going to comply, if only to save himself the broken face that he'll get at Mayhem in avoiding facing her.

Michael Callahan: Gah. Alright, listen. I get the message. You're not gonna' budge on the money.

Sally Talfourd: First smart thing I've ever heard you say...

Michael Callahan: Tell you what dear. If I give you the cash in hand, because I just so happen to have it in my pocket, will you go to Reggie's office and call this awful and unnecessary match off?

Sally mulls this over in her head for a second, “hmming” and “uhhing” before finally coming to her conclusion. With a wry look on her face, she agrees to Michael's terms to call off the match.

Sally Talfourd: Fine.

And with that, the money is handed to Sally and she quickly starts making her way out down the corridor. The only problem with this is that Schmidt's office is in the opposite direction and Callahan is no rush to not point that out.

Michael Callahan: Uh, Schmidt's office is that way.

Sally Talfourd: I know, I'm not going to Schmidt's office.

Michael Callahan: I thought we had a deal?

Smirking at Callahan, the next two words are an atom bomb on Callahan's swollen, dying, last irritated nerve. He's gonna' lose his mind now.

Sally Talfourd: To put it in language you'd understand: I've been vetoed.[/color]

Roaring his disapproval and pointing jabbing fingers, Sally's betrayal cuts through Callahan like a knife through hot butter. He knows he's been had, so he's going to kick up a storm about it.

Michael Callahan: What the Hell? What is your problem? You've got my money that you don't even deserve, I-

No longer is Sally going to stand there and take it. Like white on rice, Sally leaps at Callahan and grabs him by the blazer jacket, slamming up against the wall and pinning him to it with a vice like grip. Getting right in his face, she stares bullet holes into an uneasy and slightly quivering Callahan as she goes off on one of her own tangents.

Sally Talfourd: My problem? My problem is a pair of shoes. But there's a bigger problem for you, Callahan. It's the fans. The fans that you time and time again continue to ignore and abuse. You're a champion of the most prestigious wrestling company in the world. The fans deserve better than that. They deserve better than you. Like I said: It's about the principle of the thing. Not just the principle of paying your debts, Callahan. It's the principle of paying your dues. Of respecting the right people Respecting me. Respecting APW. Respecting the fans! When you abuse me, you abuse them. When you say I never should've been Undisputed Champion or shouldn't be out of the kitchen, you're slapping those fans in the face! I'll tell you what never should've happened, your APW career.

Callahan is fuming at this point. It's taking his everything to not step up and slap Sally silly. But Sally's got just as much will and determination, and she keeps on running him down.

Sally Talfourd: It's a miracle that despite all your lack of respect and running your mouth, nobody has broken your legs yet. It's time someone taught you a little lesson in humility and who better to do so than Mama Talfourd herself? I'm giving you the ass kicking that's been sealed and signed, awaiting delivery to you since the day you got your greasy little mits on that Suicidal Championship.

Someone's will was bound to break first, and it's Callahan. One good turn deserves another. Callahan swiftly breaks Sally's grip by grabbing her wrists and then slams Sally back against the wall instead before getting an extreme close up to do his own yelling.

Michael Callahan: Now you listen to me sweetheart. I accept your challenge. I don't want to face you but as you clearly want to step into the ring with me, I'm never one to deny a lady. Know that the loss for you will be cruel and humiliating and only seek to highlight the deeply entrenched truth that was in all of those nasty, cruel things I said about you on Twitter. And highlight the truth in just about everything I say. Anytime I make a bold claim, everyone instantaneously doubts me and says "It Can't Be Done" but my track record shows that I'm a man of my word. I just hope you can get that through your thick skull before it's too late. So you listen to me now, you put your money where your mouth is. Double or nothing, whoever wins gets two hundred dollars. You got that? And it's the Pro Life Championship, you cretin.

Back again, Sally's actually able to lift Callahan off the ground this time with an impressive use of strength.

Sally Talfourd: Alright, you're on. And when I beat you, I'll have just as much fun handing that money over to the nearest fan as taking it from you.

And another swap. Callahan's looking a little nauseous now though.

Michael Callahan: That's fine, you disgusting, jiggling piece of jello, but can we stop doing this turn and slam thing? It's making me dizzy and you're mussing up my suit!

Sally with another swap, slamming Callahan straight back into the wall one more time with all her might.

Sally Talfourd: That's fine, I have stuff to do anyway! Good luck getting your ass kicked tonight by any one of my awesome team. I almost want us to lose so that I can break your precious unpinned, unsubmitted streak all by myself. But, you know, I just can't wait until Mayhem. So I'll be coming for you tonight, Callahan!

Letting go of Callahan's jacket, Sally allows him to dust himself off and starts making her way back to her locker room with the $100 now safely pocketed in her ring tights. Callahan starts pointing and yelling after her as she walks away.

Michael Callahan: That's a joke, just like you and-. I'll stop this now. Um. You're a joke and you'll never accomplish anything like I have done and will do in my APW career. I will show you American ingenuity and smoke your ass like a fine cigar.

Sally Talfourd: Smoke my ass? Gross.

Shaking his fist in anger, Callahan has once again been had off by everyone's favourite lady wrestler and it's bugging him to no end.

Michael Callahan: That's not how I meant it!

With that, the match is set for Mayhem. It'll be an epic clash of the titans (between a woman who weighs no more than a hundred and fifty pounds and a guy who's almost small enough to fit in the cruiserweight division) where the winner earns themselves the epic bounty of a whole $200 dollars. Never in Asylum, APW or even the whole wrestling industry has so much been riding on one match. Stay tuned kids, because Michael Callahan VS Sally Talfourd is going to revolutionise the industry as we know it!

Fade.

Adam: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall.

"RISING" hits the speakers, opening with the drums. The lights start flashing around the crowd as the shamisen start playing over the speaker systems, but still no competitor. At twenty seconds, in place of the usual "He" for the song, Isamu's voice echos across the speakers with a "EYAH!"

Adam: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at two-hundred and fifteen pounds and hailing from Utashinai, Hokkaido, Japan ... Isamu Suzuki!

The song continues as normal as Isamu sprints out onto the stage, full of energy. He waits there only a moment before sprinting down to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. He hops up onto the top rope and lets out a battle cry to get him pumped up for battle before hopping down and stretching for the match.

Adam: And his opponent for the match...

The lights dim down as "Sound of Madness" by Shinedown begins to play. After a few moments the large and imposing figure of Rico Casteel makes his way out from the back.

Adam: Weighing in a two-hundred and seventy pounds, ‘The Loose Cannon’ ... Rico Casteel!

He pauses at the entrance and scans the crowd before smirking, cracking his neck, and making his way down to the ring. Ignoring all of the fans, he reaches the ring, grabs the middle rope and hauls himself onto the apron. He climbs through the ropes and paces around the ring.

Nailz: And what a match-up we have here. Brute strength versus a speedy high-flyer.

Beckett: It’s a great match-up...if you want to see Rico break someone!

Nailz: Don’t write Isamu off, Steve.

The ref brings them in, pats them down, gives them both a stern talking to and then he calls for the bell. The match is underway!

Isamu Suzuki vs. “The Loose Cannon” Rico Casteel

[/b]

Both men lock up. Rico works his way to the ropes, pushing Isamu into the nearest corner. He locks him up. Ref calls for a break and gets to the 4. Rico backs up, then lays a solid blow to the side of Isamu’s head. He looks down, but quickly comes out of the corner a series of kicks, fighting Rico back to the middle of the ring. Japanese armdrag from Isamu. Rico gets up from the met, only to be met by a calf kick to the side of the head. Rico goes down. Isamu is in for the quick pin, but only gets to about 1 and a half. Rico is back up. Isamu tries his luck with a dropkick. Rico steps back from it, and Isamu hist the mat and is quickly pulled up. Headbutt from Rico. Another. Then another to send him stumbling to the corner. Isamu, dazed, steps out and into a spear!

Nailz: Rico left nothing to question with that spear. He sure gave it everything he could!

Rico into a pin, but only gets to the 2. Pulls Isamu up and into a powerslam. Goes for another pin, but only gets a 2. Rico is up, stomps on Isamu before positioning himself across the ring. As Isamu gets up, Rico comes at his with another spear. Isamu is alert enough to dodge it. Rico hist the turnbuckle and falls out of the ropes to the mat holding his shoulder. Isamu gets to work on Rico, first hitting him with a swinging neckbreaker, followed up with a standing moonsault. He rolls Rico into a pin, but only gets to a 2. Isamu waits for Rico to get up, then hits him with a bulldog lariat. Goes in for another pin, but only gets to the 2. Isamu starts to work over Rico’s shoulder. locking him in a hammerlock face-down on the mat, and leveraging by bridging over his head.

Nailz: Neither one here is going to give up easily.

Rico is able to power out and flips Isamu down onto the mat. Rico turns the hold into a camel clutch, sitting right down on his opponent’s back. Isamu isn’t far from the ropes and, after some struggle, is able to reach them. The ref has to count to the 4 before Rico lets go. Rico doesn’t let up, pulling Rico back into the centre of the ring, and hitting him with a stiff DDT. As Isamu begins to stir, Rico begins to work over his legs, looking to take away his offense. He hooks the leg, then starts to squat down on it. He grabs the rope to steady himself. The ref tries to break his hold, the counts to the 4 before Rico lets go. As Isamu pulls himself up with the ropes. Rico in with a snap powerbomb. Isamu hits the mat hard. Rico pulls him up, whips him to the ropes, and brings him back to the mat with a spinebuster.

Rico goes in for another pin, hooking the leg and leveraging with all his weight. The ref is about to hit the 3 but Isamu kicks out! The crowd is amazed that he’s lasted this long through the beating. Rico slams the mat in frustration. He pulls Isamu up like he was a rag doll. Rico sets him up, gets Isamu into the gorilla position and then hits him with another powerslam! He goes in for a pin, and again Isamu digs deep enough to kick out before the 3! The crowd is on their feet for him. Rico stands over the helpless Isamu however with a sadistic grin. He pulls him up by the hair, pulls him up and sets him up for the Bedlam Buster. After gloating to the crowd for a moment, he heaves Isamu up and into the fisherman buster, into a sitout spinebuster. He rolls Isamu into the pin. 1
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2
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3! DING! DING! DING!

Winner: "The Loose Cannon" Rico Casteel[/center]
Adam: Your winner for the match: ‘The Loose Cannon’ Rico Casteel!

Rico rolls away from Isamu with the disgust we’d expect. He kicks Isamu’s arm out of the way as he raises his own hands in victory.

Nailz: And a strong win there from Rico heading into Mayhem. Isamu put up a fight, but it seems strength won out on the night.

Beckett: That’s my boy Rico, showing how it’s done!

APW Asylum goes to commercial break with Rico storming his way out of the arena.

[biggs]

“Superman (It’s Not Easy)” by Five for Fighting blasts from the sound system and Manservant walks, puts his hands on his hips and strikes a super-hero pose. The crowd go wild as he runs towards the ring, cape flowing behind him. He slides under the bottom rope, spins in a circle arms outstretched, and then climbs each turnbuckle and poses for the fans.

Stenfelder: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a qualifying match for the Mayhem Ballroom Bash! Introducing first: he weighs 328lbs...MANSERVANT!

Nailz: Manservant was supposed to be accompanied by his ‘master’ Julius Farquhar, but after what we saw earlier I guess Julius can’t make it.

Beckett: I shouldn’t have to remind you that Manservant is ‘emancipated’ these days.

Nailz: Oh Lordy!

The cheesy 80's riffs of "You're The Best" by Joe Esposito hit. Billy jogs down to the ring grinning like a doofus. He slides into the ring and does a couple of laps along the ring ropes. He finally climbs up on the middle rope and raises his arms up in the air. He yells out "I'm #1", and most fans point and laugh at him.

Stenfelder: Please welcome his opponent: from Happy Valley, Newfoundland; weighing 191lbs...BILLY PEPSI!

Nailz: A unique reception for this unique competitor.

Beckett: This crowd are laughing at him...he’s an idiot!

Nailz: An idiot who pushed Michael Callahan to the limit two weeks ago on Asylum.

Beckett: And The Studmuffins pushed Michael Callahan over the limit....of decency! Do you know how long it took me to get over the image of his bare ass?

Nailz: I’m sure it kept you occupied all night long.

Ballroom Brawl Qualifying Match
Manservant vs. Billy Pepsi

The match begins with Pepsi challenging Manservant to a test of strength.

Nailz: I think this may just be a big a mismatch as we’ve ever seen on Asylum.

Beckett: It seems pretty spot on to me – they’re both as dorky as each other.

It’s a test that Manservant passes with flying collars as he drives Pepsi into a corner, but used to being obedient Manservant immediately follows the ref’s instruction to break the hold. They come together in the ring and Pepsi challenges Manservant again, but yet again he is quickly pushed into a corner, and once again Manservant obeys the ref’s command. Manservant turns around and strikes what I assume is his ‘superhero’ pose. Pepsi springs out of the corner and leaps on to Manservant’s back locking in a sleeper hold. Manservant starts swinging his hips to try and avail himself of professional wrestler on his back, eventually throwing his body weight forward and allowing momentum to swing Pepsi over his shoulder onto the mat. Pepsi quickly gets to his feet trying to no-sell it but Manservant runs him down with a big clothesline. Pepsi is up again and Manservant charges in, taking down Pepsi with another huge clothesline that sends Pepsi ‘inside-out’ and crashing to the mat. Manservant makes the cover...

1
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2
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Pepsi kicks out!

Nailz: Already we’re seeing the power of Manservant allowing him to control this match.

Beckett: It’s like watching David and Goliath...the ugly version.

Manservant grunts something that nobody can make any sense of and scoops Pepsi up into a body slam position. Manservant starts to run around the ropes looking for a running powerslam, but Pepsi counters by sliding over the shoulder of Manservant onto the mat and using the momentum of the big man pushes him into a turnbuckle. Manservant bounces out and Pepsi tries to hit a superkick but Manservant ducks, but Pepsi is quick and nimble and reacts first connecting with a spinning heel kick to the face that floors Manservant. Pepsi runs to the ropes and lands a moonsault, hooking the legs of Manservant...

1
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Manservant powers out by pushing Pepsi off.

Nailz: The heart and the desire of Billy Pepsi getting him back in this match.

Beckett: Do they serve soft drinks at the ballroom?

Pepsi gets to his feet quickly and backs away and the more cumbersome Manservant is slow to get up. When Manservant gets to his feet though Pepsi charges in looking for a shining wizard, but Manservant shows an awareness and presence of mind you wouldn’t give him credit for by grasping Pepsi as he tries to connect with knee and with a surge of superhuman strength lifts Pepsi up into a powerbomb position. Pepsi starts fighting furiously and punches Manservant repeatedly on the top of the head before countering with a hurricanrana into a pin...

1
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2
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Manservant kicks out!

Nailz: Near fall for Pepsi...what a great effort!

Both men get to their feet, Pepsi tries to build on his momentum but Manservant rocks him with a headbutt, then whips Pepsi against the ropes and drops him with a stiff looking big boot to the chops. Manservant stands over Billy Pepsi’s head and points down at him, gesturing he wants a drink.

Beckett: What is he doing? HEY DOOFUS, THIS ISN’T AFTERNOON TEA!

Suddenly Manservant tries to drop his ‘ass and crack’ onto the face of Pepsi Banzai drop-style (The Tea Bag), but Pepsi rolls away in the nick of time. Manservant sells pain and Pepsi is quick to pounce as Manservant gets to his feet, connecting with the Pepsi Perfect (Springboard Tornado DDT). Feeling the ‘love of the people’ Pepsi climbs to the top rope and successfully hits the Pepsi Max (450 splash) to make absolutely sure...

1
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3

Winner: Billy Pepsi

Nailz: There it is...a sparkling win for this effervescent Megastar.

Beckett: Now, now Scotty, don’t bubble over with excitement.

Pepsi ‘gives it large’ celebration-wise, as though he hit the home run that won the World Series. Manservant is left to skulk backstage...even superheroes have the occasional bad day at the office. Asylum cuts to a promo for ‘The Quintessentially English Tea’.

The scene opens up backstage where we see Rico Casteel walking through the hallways looking pissed off. He turns the corner and as he does, he spots Mike Morrison going into a locker room at the far end of the hall. Rico walks faster, reaching the end and turning to face the closed door of Morrison's locker room. Rico smirks and opens the door storming in.

Rico: Time for you to pay you son of a--

Rico looks around the locker room to see...no one. The room is empty, save for a duffel bag sitting on one of the benches. Rico glares around the empty space trying to figure out where Morrison could have gone.

Rico: Where the...

Rico turns around only to get cracked over the head with a cane from Mike Morrison! Rico drops to the ground and Morrison smiles down at him.

Morrison: You always thought I was the weak link, didn't you Rico? You always thought that this partnership was all about you. But it wasn't! It never was! You were just dumb enough that you thought it was your master plan.

Rico stirs as Morrison watches him.

Morrison: You screwed me over. Everything you brought to the table, that is what held us back as a team, and I am sick and tired of it! I should be a champion but because of you, I'm not!

With the last few words, Morrison kicks Rico in the gut. But Rico grabs the foot! Morrisons eyes go wide as Rico shoves Morrison away, causing Morrison to stumble and fall out through the door and up against the opposite wall. Rico stumbles to his feet and lunges toward a rising Morrison, rearing back for a Knock Out Punch, but Morrison moves and Rico punches the wall!

Morrison takes this opportunity to scramble upright and makes his way, quickly, down the hall. Rico shakes his hand, obviously in some pain, as he watches Morrison run off.

Rico: You can run, you piece of shit, but this isn't over! One day, you and I will settle all of this and on that day you will see just why I was carrying you!

Rico is left in the hallway clutching his hand and fuming, watching the area where Morrison disappeared. Asylum cuts to another commercial break.

[biggs]

During another commercial break we see a similar slow motion recap. This time it shows the AKA truck backing up in the parking lot. Again the color scheme is tinted slightly gold. Slade and Shadow move in slow motion out of the truck as the sound again is muted. The same voiceover is heard yet again as they open the tailgate to the truck.

“Dolly: 60$”

Craven grabs the dolly in slow motion and then begins pulling the big five gallon buckets from the bed of the pick-up truck. We hear the voice yet again.

“Wood Stain: 130$”

At such a slow speed Slade places the buckets on the Dolly as Shadow grabs a wooden crate from the bed of the truck. He turns to place it on top of the stack of buckets and again we hear the voice.

“Black Cat, Gold Collection, Exceptional Artillery: 400$”

The scene cuts to inside Rebel’s locker room, still in slow motion. Slade tosses Shadow the pry bar and Shadow smashes open the top of the buckets. A few splashes of wood stain fly out. Craven tosses Shadow the fireworks wrapped in ziplock bags. Shadow begins stuffing the bags in the buckets as Slade tosses him more. The scene then fades to Johnny Rebel walking to the room. Play back is at its normal speed. It shows him trying to open the door. The sound of his grunts is heard as he kicks the door open. Then at double speed we see the room and Rebel trying to move through the still drying wood stain all over the floor. We see it has reached the ceiling, covered the walls and the pile of personal belongings that Slade dumped on the floor. It is everywhere. Then as the speed slows to normal we see Rebel standing there in utter disbelief. His face is red with anger as he grits his teeth.

“Trashing Johnny Rebel’s Locker Room while inventing the Wood Stain Bomb: Priceless”

The scene cuts to a float over of a Green and silver circle coming together part ways in the middle. The voice over continues.

“Most revenge in life-money CAN buy. For everything else, there is the A.K.A.”

The scene shows Slade and Shadow smiling with their arms folded over their chests. Sunglasses and jackets on as both men stare silently at the camera.

“Call now to hire.”

The screen fades to black before cutting to another commercial.

[biggs]

“Charlie Big Potato” starts to blast through the PA System as the lights dim...a white spotlight circles the arena...in search of Frank Cannon, who is not only carrying a police baton and wearing black athletic tape on his hands and blue jeans tucked into his combat boots, Cannon is also wearing what appears to be the APW Tap Out Title on his shoulder as Frank is heading towards the ring making his entrance through the crowd. Frank tosses the belt over the rail and hops over picking it up while sliding into the ring.

Nailz: Where the heck did Frank Cannon get that Tap Out Title from!? Did he break into Bailey's locker room and take it!?

Beckett: No, take a closer look at it, partner. There's something off about it, something I can't quite put my finger on...

Frank requests a microphone as he holds the Tap Out title over his shoulder...But it seems to be a different color, as the strap has been changed from black to blue...Frank proceeds to tap his mic as he begins coughing.

OMFC: (Coughing) HELLO Asylum! Welcome officially to the “Old Man Era” And the first order of business is addressing all the hate emails and Twitter threats I received for last weeks, well I would like say a wake up call to Anthony Bailey. So I want every one of you smart-marks to listen well and closely. The Old Man has had enough of the golden boy, the crown jewel of Asylum, the future of APW. In other words I’m sick and tired of your bullshit Bailey. You come out here with your 25 cent smile, fresh perm, and cheesy words of endearment to these worthless fans. You fill their heads with emptiness from your so called “Promise”. You know I would really like to know what is your “Promise” Bailey. Are you going to take APW to the mountain top of which it’s never been with your charisma & good looks, No maybe you will tell them that you can overcome all obstacles by facing them head on. Well let me tell you something.

The crowd explodes into cheers as "Hometown Hero" by Big K.R.I.T. begins to blare and fog starts to roll down the entrance way. The arena lights turn blue and the fog creates a haze effect. Anthony "The Promise" Bailey, with the Tap Out Title around his waist, steps out from behind the curtain slowly. He stops for a moment, flashes his signature smile, and looks around the arena. Bailey's eyes widen as he strides to the ring greeting multiple fans. He climbs up the ring steps, steps through the ropes and into the ring. Anthony removes his title, holds it up in the air garnering more cheers, and into the face of Frank Cannon. A referee hands a microphone to Bailey.

Anthony Bailey: Look Frank, I honestly don't know what your beef is with me. You come out here and parade around like I owe you some kind of favor. What are your motives? What point are you trying to prove? Everything you have tried to use against me in a slanderous manner, like calling me Asylum's crown jewel and the future of this company, is actually not offensive at all to me because it's true. Not because I'm some big bad guy walking around demanding respect but because the respect and the adoration has freely been given to me. I think you are upset that people haven't recognized your talent yet, but continue to press on and work hard. That's what I aim to do and that's the same thing you should aim for too Frank. I mean...not to get all personal...but what would your dead friend think about all of this? I think he'd be very disappointed with the way you've been treating me these past few weeks.

The crowd does a gasp after hearing the comment from Anthony Bailey; He removes his mic from his mouth and tries to apologize to Frank, but Frank cuts him off as he gets right into Bailey’s face and stares him in the eyes. Frank holds up his title as he talks again.

OMFC: Listen asshole, You don’t have the right to ask or tell me anything about my best friend; But then again you know what? (Looks around the arena and smirks) Fuck it (Shrugs) He’s dead and I’m alive so say what you want!

The crowd is appalled by Frank’s causal attitude towards his friend’s death, Frank laughs as they start to boo the “Old Man”, but Frank shakes his head gives a middle finger to the crowd as he continues talking.

OMFC: See I don’t owe him or no one anything, But you really want to know what my problem is and why I deserve that belt more than you or anyone else. Well listen up and you might learn something boy! See let me think where I can start at, Umm first off, I’ve already told you I don’t like your stupid hair style, cheesy smile, or your stupid false advertising...But my biggest gripe with you is, that damn why you are getting over; And oh don’t get excited marks because I’m not talking about that “Over”.

The crowd boos the “Old Man” before chanting Bailey...Bailey...Bailey; Frank quickly cuts them off with another middle finger.

OMFC: But the Over I am talking about is, Is how the APW management, Yes I’m talking about Reginald & Jeff; And how they cater to you while someone like myself have to bust my ass every night. Anthony your not the future because you earn it, you’re the future because you kissed so much ass in the back, they were left with no choice but to rig the tournament around you. Bailey you are nothing more than a pretty holding a title that I rightfully deserve and you want to know now why I deserve that belt; well let me explain. I dedicated my whole life to being a hard working, blue collar individual. I done everything to become the man I am today, while you had a cushy life and don’t give that crap about your parents divorcing made you succeed because I didn’t GROW UP WITH ANY! I lost my parents and best friends in a car crashes, so don’t tell me you had to go through anything worth saying preppy! See everything that has happened to you has happened because you allowed it and people gave you pity and handouts. Everything in my shitty life has happened to me, So that it would make me stronger. See the reason I deserve that title is because I am the True Tap Out champion when it comes to life. I didn’t Tap Out to self-pity after and when my parents & best friend died. I didn’t Tap Out to being homeless even after being harassed for money. I didn’t Tap Out any statistic that life threw at me. But more than all I will never Tap Out to a pussy like you! So you tell me who really deserves that title; me the “Old Man” or the “False Prophet”.

Unexpectedly some of the crowd goes from booing Cannon to praising him with a new chant; it can be heard as Frank looks around the arena. O...M...F...C,
O...M...F...C, O...M...F...C! Frank begins to join in on the chant as he tosses the mic to Bailey, And even before Bailey can react Frank takes a wild swing that connects to the chine, before he hurries out the ring. Frank smirks as the chant turns back to boos and he holds his "title" in the air while Bailey rubs his face & jaw.

Nailz: "Old Man" Frank Cannon is as delusional as they come! I can't help but think that him and Bailey are on a collision course for the true Tap Out Title at some point!

Backstage in the medic’s room. Julius Farquhar, a bruise on the side of his face where he smashed into the table, is being attended to by the medical staff following his earlier blackout.

Medic: And you just blacked out? You haven’t taken anything?

Julius: What’s with all the questions? Are you paid to pry into the lives of Megastars like me? Are you a doctor or a journalist? It was a temporary lapse.

Medic: Nevertheless, I have to seriously consider whether you should compete later tonight.

Julius: Don’t be ridiculous. It’s my “Quintessentially English” duty to entertain these fans; that main event is ruined if it doesn’t have me in it. You can’t let these cretins in the crowd who used welfare cheques to buy their tickets put up with uncoordinated louts like Johnny Knuckles. I will be in that match.

The medic shakes his head in a ‘I don’t get paid enough for this crap’ kind of way. Suddenly some shouting excites the scene.

Dr. Weazel: I hope you are proud of yourself! Where were you? I can’t believe you left Manservant to go out there on his own.

Julius: What are you talking about, you buffoon?

Dr. Weazel: Manservant. His match. He lost.

Julius: The match has happened?

Dr. Weazel: Yes, and what about that promise you made?

Manservant enters the scene looking grim-faced.

Dr. Weazel: Tell him, Manservant; tell this man how upset you feel.

Manservant: *Grunt*

Dr. Weazel: You promised Julius, and you broke that promise.

Julius: Listen, I tried, I really did.

Dr. Weazel: This is just another example Manservant why you cannot trust this man, why he cannot be relied upon.

Manservant: *Grunt*

Julius: Manservant, don’t be that way, old bean. It’s not like I deliberately...

Dr. Weazel: Don’t lie Julius! You deliberately set out to sabotage Manservant’s opportunity. We thought you were an ally, that you understood Manservant’s desire and his right to pursue his wrestling dream. But the truth is this is always about you, Julius. You are jealous of Manservant.

Julius: Don’t be ridiculous!

Dr. Weazel: You are the one who is ridiculous: a ridiculous and pathetic little man. We’ll show you, Julius Farquhar, me and Manservant together.

Dr. Weazel turns on his heels and storms out, Manservant in tow. Julius shakes his head then spits out.

Julius: Yeah...well he can’t even make a proper cup of tea!

Julius sighs with frustration and buries his face in his hands as the scene fades.

[biggs]

“One Step Beyond” by Madness begins to play and the camera zooms onto the ramp and Mike Morrison comes out with a wide eyed look on his face. He walks down casually with a cane while dancing as if he’s performing a swing number. When he enters the ring, he throws the cane out into the crowd. Morrison sits in the corner waiting for his opponent.

Stenfelder: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…hailing from Soho, London, England and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds…Miiiiiikkkeeee Mooorrrrriiisssooonnn!!!

Nailz: One can only wonder what was going through the mind of Mike Morrison as he viciously attacked his partner Rico Casteel at the last Asylum in Bayamôn. What could make a man snap like that?

My Chemical Romance's “Helena” fills the arena as a shadow appears up in the rafters as the crowd is in an uproar. Chants of “The Grave Stalker” & “You Need Help!!!” are split amongst the capacity crowd. Donovan Caine stretches out gripping a black rope sliding down from the Rafters into the Squared Circle. He's wielding a Steel Black Bat pointing it around the Arena at various fans smiling sickly. He then takes off his black trench coat, gives it to the referee and tosses the bat to the outside. Caine's cold dead eyes are well placed upon the entrance ramp. Before he can properly smoke fills the arena especially the ring. It's a bitter fog and finally he's announced....

Stenfelder: He was born in A Shallow Grave weighing in at two hundred and ten points pounds, “The King of The Dead” Donovan Caineeeeeeeeeee!!!

Donovan Caine’s laugh lets out a high pitch screech making Stenfelder run off before awaiting the match to begin.

Beckett: You’re wondering what was going on in Morrison’s mind when he attacked Casteel. But the real question is, what goes on in the mind of Donovan Caine on a daily basis? He’s a perplexed individual.

Mike Morrison vs. Donovan Caine

[/u]

The bell rings and the two men lock up. Caine with an eye poke on Morrison followed by a headbutt. Caine with three stiff chops to the upper chest of Morrison. As Caine looks to continue the early offensive onslaught, Morrison retaliates with a headbutt of his own and takes Caine down with a snap mare. Legdrop across the neck of Caine by Morrison. Looking to quickly find his technical niche’, Morrison grabs the legs of Caine and sets him up for a figure four leglock…no! Caine nails Morrison with a hard kick straight to the groin and Morrison doubles over in pain! The referee warns Caine that he will disqualify him if that sort of thing happens again but Caine seems to ignore him. Caine picks Morrison up…Mongolian chop on Morrison by Caine. Caine lifts Morrison up and nails him with an atomic drop, adding more pain to Morrison’s groin region. Still on his feet despite the pain, Morrison is finally taken down with a DDT from Caine!

Nailz: The King of The Dead is alive and kicking tonight! He came well prepared. But I wouldn’t count Morrison out just yet either. This is a whole new arena for him as he’s more familiar with tag team competition. I bet he wish he had a fresh partner in his corner to tag out to right about now.

Beckett: Fresh partner or not, Morrison will have to learn how to rely on himself. And I didn’t know how I truly felt about Caine, but after that cheap shot he took on Morrison earlier; he’s earned a few brownie points in my book.

Both men are back on their feet and they are duking it out with a good old school slugfest! Morrison with a right, Caine with a left, Morrison with another right, and Caine with another left!! The fans are on their feet as neither man is relenting or willing to give up. Caine once again swings his right fist at Morrison but he quickly ducks and takes Caine down with a dropkick putting an end to their short brawl. Both Morrison and Caine are spent so they are slow to rise to their feet. With Morrison’s back turned towards Caine, Caine sneaks up behind him…back rake on Morrison who lets out a painful scream. Strong forearm into the back of the head of Morrison by Caine. Caine then shoves Morrison into the nearest turnbuckle headfirst.

Caine charges towards Morrison full speed, but apparently feeling the footsteps of Caine closely emerging, he sidesteps Caine just in the nick of time as Caine goes crashing into the turnbuckle himself!! Morrison grabs Caine before he falls to the mat…MADNESS EFFECT!!! Morrison covers Caine for the pin.

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Winner: Mike Morrison[/center]

Stenfelder: Here is your winner, Miiiiiikkkeeee Mooorrrrriiisssooonnn!!!

“One Step Beyond” begins to blast through the PA system once more as Mike Morrison celebrates his victory.

Nailz: Good effort by Donovan Caine but this was a strong singles competition showing here by none other than Mike Morrison.

Beckett: I never once doubted him. It’s obvious that Casteel has been holding Morrison back for too long and now we can finally witness Morrison go onto bigger and better things! Way to go Mikey!!

Asylum goes to a commercial break as Donovan Caine walks backstage first and then Mike Morrison after him. Morrison, holding his groin, ignores the fans as he disappears behind the curtain.

Backstage, Chaz Dillinger comes into view as he approaches a Soda Machine. He feeds the machine with quarters and looks over the selective menu of beverages. From behind about 15 feet comes Jason Kash from around the corner. Coming to a surprised halt, Kash dips down into a creep. He removes the World Title from his shoulder and lowers it to the concrete floor quietly. Dillinger makes his choice and leans over to retrieve his cold soda. As he turns around, he spots Kash and the Champion burst into a sprint at Chaz Dillinger.

Without hesitation Chaz jumps and lets out a little screech as he notices Kash coming in hot. Quickly reacting, Chaz launches the unopened can of soda and it catches Kash in the forehead. Kash stops his progress and grabs his head and grunts. He looks at Dillinger in confusion.

Kash: I thought you didn't like using Weapons! That hurt fucker!!

Kash sees that Chaz's eyes look past him and not wanting to be caught in a trap, Kash spins around to see Johnny Knuckles coming out from a Bathroom door. Kash lunges at Knuckles and as Knuckles notices Kash, it is far too late.

Kash: THIS IS SPARTA!!!

A plowing boot to Knuckles chest and the Challenger is thrown backwards back into the Bathroom. Kash laughs surprised the whole movie move worked and turns to Chaz to see if he was amused. Kash is again surprised as when he looks back at Dillinger, his "Rich" Challenger is diving at him and tackles him to the concrete floor. Chaz begins pounding into Kash with rabid shots to the face, anywhere he can land a tight fist he is landing it. Kash rolls over and puts Chaz to the ground, grabs himself two handfuls of Chaz's hair and uses it to slam Dillinger's head into the concrete floor.

HEEE HAAWWWW!!!!

Out from the bathroom comes Johnny Knuckles screaming out like a wildman as he leaps up into the air and comes down on both Kash and Dillinger. Making the ground and pound into a dog pile, Knuckles is punching repeatedly at the back of Kash's head until the Champion goes limp. Security rushes into the scene, pulling Knuckles off and separating the 3 men. EMTs come in and attend to Kash who took repeated Donkey Punches to the back of his head and neck area. Knuckles laughing turns away from security and leaves the scene.

Chaz being held back by security is trying to get in cheap shots on a downed Jason Kash. He breaks the two security guards off and rushes in, looking to punt kick Kash in the side of his head. As he comes in for the Punt Kick, Chaz Dillinger is surprised by a Chair Shot. Johnny Knuckles has returned to the scene and is standing over Chaz Dillinger who is grabbing his head in a dazed state. Knuckles is swarmed by security as Asylum cuts to commercial break.

[biggs]

Asylum is back from the commercials for the last segment of the night. The big finale. The main event. The match that started a whole bunch of chaos at the start of the night! We’re backstage and we see what could easily be a trail of the best talent APW has. Making their way towards the gorilla position, the last step before their date with the ring, World Champion Jason Kash, Tag Team Champions Studmuffins, Tap Out Champion Anthony Bailey, and all-round favourite (yeah, doesn’t have the same ring as the others, does it?) Sally Talfourd walk in a focused and intense line. Before they all end up in a huddle, Sally pulls on Bailey by the belt over his shoulder.

Sally: I know I said I trust them all *Sally looks over at the three that they’ve left* but you’ve got my back out there, right?

Bailey: You know it. I don’t even need to ask you, right?

Sally: I wouldn’t want APW’s prized talent to get hurt, now would I? What on earth would they do with you if your face got messed up!

They can’t help but let out a laugh. The best way to break the stress and tension of the big matches is with a joke here and there.

Baily: This’ll be the first time we’re in a match together. I wonder if the fan can handle that? Their two biggest favourites in the ring at the same time.

Sally: I think some heads could be exploding right now as we speak, Anthony. I really do. *Sally has to grin* Imagine what the reaction would be if we had to face each other?

Bailey: When we face each other, you mean.

Sally: Oh? That match is happening is it?

Bailey: Absolutely. And when it does...well...who knows what could happen.

Sally smiles at Bailey. Bailey nods with a mischievous grin across his face. He pats his belt as he winks at Sally. She gently shoves his shoulder towards the group and the two join their team for their little pep-talk huddle.

The camera switches back out ringside, focused on the announce team Russ T. Nailz and Steve Beckett. Nailz begins to speak excitedly.

Nailz: Ladies and gentlemen, we are just two short weeks away from APW Mayhem, live in Montreal, Quebec, Cananda! The Asylum side of things is looking to be huge!

Generic rock n' roll music blares as the screen switches to a bright orange background.

The pictures of Jason Kash, Chaz Dillinger, and Johnny Knuckles show up on the screen, with Kash holding his APW World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder, grinning his toothless grin.

Nailz: At Mayhem, Jason Kash defends his APW World Heavyweight Championship against the two men who found the Golden Eggs on Easter Sunday, "America's Most Wanted" Chaz Dillinger and "The Survivor" Johnny Knuckles! And what's more, we've been told that this match will kick off Mayhem!

Beckett: That is huge news, as these three men no doubt will go tooth 'n nail to kick off Mayhem with a bang!

Flames shoot up the screen, clearing the photos of the three competitors and switch to Isamu Suzuki and Donovan Caine.

Beckett: Tensions have been flaring between Isamu Suzuki and Donovan Caine over the past few weeks, and everything comes to a head at Mayhem as they'll finally face each other in the ring, one-on-one!

Nailz: This has been as personal a feud as there is! There's no doubt that this match will be Mayhem!

Flames shoot up the screen again, replacing the pictures with Mike Morrison and Rico Casteel.

Nailz: Also at Mayhem, the former Martyrs of Madness face off in a grudge match for the ages! After Mike Morrison turned his back on Rico Casteel a few weeks ago, these two have been on a collision course!

Beckett: A lot of people say that Rico Casteel has been holding Mike Morrison back! We'll find out if that's really been the case, or if Rico is just flat out better at Mayhem!

More flames, and this time, Sally Talfourd and Micheal Callahan pop up on the screen. Callahan has his Pro-Life Title slung over his shoulder, and a cheesy grin on his face.

Beckett: In a Non-Title Match, Michael Callahan goes up against Sally Talfourd in a match over a $100 pair of shoes that Callahan ruined four weeks ago!

Beckett: But it's gone beyond that now, as Sally Talfourd says it's gone from a matter of principle over the shoes to teaching Callahan a lesson for his arrogance and general jerkiness!

Beckett: Callahan has yet to be pinned or made to submit in his APW career, but his undefeated streak is in huge jeopardy when he steps into the ring with Sally in two weeks!

The flames come up again, and Billy Pepsi & Johnny Sykes are shown with four blacked out silhouettes and the words Ball Room Brawl at the bottom of the screen.

Nailz: Also at Mayhem, we get to witness the first ever Ball Room Brawl! Two members of each APW roster will go at it in a six-person free for all, where all the competitors must wear formal wear and the last person standing wins! Billy Pepsi and Johnny Sykes get to represent Asylum in what promise to be a wild contest!

The flames shoot up once more, showing Anthony Bailey and Matt Matlock on the screen.

Nailz: And finally, fan favorite Anthony "The Promise" Bailey defends the APW Tap Out Championship against Matt Matlock! Matt won the right to challenge Bailey by defeating "Old Man" Frank Cannon, but he goes up against the Mega Star who's on arguably the biggest roll of anyone in APW when he challenges Bailey!

Beckett: The Tap Out Division always brings a great technical match to the pay per view, but considering Matt Matlock's hard hitting style, this one could get real ugly, real quick!

Nailz: Folks, you do not want to miss APW Mayhem, live in two weeks in Montreal, Canada! Tickets are already sold out, so the only way you'll get to see it now is live, on Pay-Per-View!

Beckett: Not only will you see these great matches, but also action packed matches from the Overdrive and Meltdown brands! There's no better value on Pay-Per-View than APW!

The sound of “Houston” by Slim Thug ft. Paul Wall and Chamillionaire blares through the sound system signalling the arrival of the World Heavyweight Champion, Jason Kash. He doesn't come out alone though and with him in one unified entrance is the Tap Out Champion Anthony Bailey, Tag Team Champions The Studmuffins and Sally Talfourd. There's more gold here than Fort Knox and combined with their dazzling (not in Kash's case) smiles and glowing stage presence, looking at them would require sunglasses.

Bombing it down the ring together, the five fan favourites who I shall collectively refer to for the rest of the match as “Team Good Guys” take centre stage in the middle of the ring. Everyone bar Kash takes a corner each and does their respective gestures to the fans while Kash just holds up the belt with one hand and smokes an invisible joint. Everyone is going apeshit at the amount of star power on display.

Beckett: And here are the Who's Who of Asylum's Most Loved. You have “The Promise” Anthony Bailey who is a living embodiment of the possibilities of hard work and dedication, Sally Talfourd who is the most impressive female competitor in APW's history and a former Undisputed Champion, “The Studmuffins” who are the sexiest and most dominating tag team of all time and of course you have a man who needs no introduction, the World Heavyweight Champion Jason Kash. The star power here is blinding.

Nailz: You're damn skippy. These guys on paper should own.

And that's when a bizarre, unfitting medley of “Land of Hope and Glory”, along with the banjo section from “Losing Your Mind” by Pride and Glory, the lead guitar from “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell, the bassline and drums to “Survival of the Sickest” by Saliva and the vocals to “All About the Benjamins” by P. Diddy. It's a horrific cacophony and suits just how much of a mish-mash of horrific this team, who I shall collectively refer to as “Team Bad Guy” actually is.

They all make their way down to the ring and varying speeds and paces with Matt Matlock and Knuckles running down while Callahan and Dillinger saunter at the back and Farquhar is somewhere in the middle posturing. Eventually they all arrive together.

Beckett: And this is a Who's Who of publicly sanctioned hate figures on Asylum. There's so much disgusting in these five men, I don't know who to hate the most!

Nailz: Definitely Farquhar. That guy is a jerk.

Ten Man Tag Match Main Event
Jason Kash, Anthony Bailey, The Studmuffins and Sally Talfourd
-VS-
Johnny Knuckles, Chaz Dillinger, Michael Callahan, Julius Farquhar and Matt Matlock

Once the bell rings, everyone assumes position on the apron as they figure amongst themselves who's going to start this match. For Team Good Guys (Kash/Bailey/Studmuffins/Sally) it's a decision that's made through hushed whispers while for Team Bad Guys (yes, that's how I'm going to refer to them both as for this match) the decision is far more simply made by order barking from Michael Callahan.

Michael Callahan: As your duly elected wrestling representative, the only champion on the team and an American icon I feel like it's my right, no, my responsibility to be team captain and with that I will start this match for us.

Beckett: Michael Callahan stepping up to bat here, asserting his place as team captain. Will this be a bad decision on the part of the American Hero?

Team Bad Guy would have no problem with punching him in his flapping mouth for such arrogance but it seems like just this once they'll let Callahan have his way. His hubris is short-lived however as he immediately changes his mind when he sees that it's Sally Talfourd starting the match for Team Good Guy. Using his assumed authority he immediately decides that maybe he shouldn't start the match.

{color=0066FF]Michael Callahan: Actually on second thoughts, maybe you should start the match.[/color]

Nailz: Pahahaha! What's the matter Michael? Afraid of a girl?!

Beckett: Don't act like you wouldn't be. She's got more accolades in this company than half the current male roster combined. While I disagree with his existence, he has every right to not want to face her.

Callahan tries to tag in Knuckles who reluctantly accepts the offer. Punching the palm of his hand threateningly, Sally challenges him to bring it and Knuckles does as he breaks into a sprint. Throwing a big left hand to start the proceedings, the two break out into a punch up with Sally dodging a few punches to an impressive duck and weave she has going on. The sad truth though is that Sally can't hit anywhere near as hard as Knuckles can and so she quickly realises she'll be out-matched in this slugging match. That's when she kicks the No. #1 contender in the stomach and hits a Spinning Wheel Kick which drops the stumpy armed pugilist to the mat.

Nailz: Impressive knock down there against Johnny Knuckles. She baited Knuckles into close quarters and used her speed to get her point across.

Knuckles doesn't spend very long down and is almost instantly on his feet again but so too is Sally who has another move lined up. A powerful leg lariat from the pint-sized scrapper once again brings Knuckles down to the ground. It takes him a fraction longer to get up thus allowing Sally even more time to prepare and when he does finally stand up he finds himself hooked up for a powerful Facebreaker DDT. Sally points to the sky with an emphatic war cry before leaping up and going for her DDT but she finds herself getting powered around 180 by Knuckles and spinebustered AA style planting her straight into the mat. The Spinebuster is far more powerful than even Knuckles had anticipated and as he regains his stance he clocks a look of Sally as she coughs, wheezes and clutches her ribs.

Beckett: No doubt Callahan is watching Knuckles mighty display with an almighty glee here. He's softening her up good before her match with the Pro Life Champion at Mayhem. At the same time though, both Chaz and Jason Kash are getting a first hand look at their opponent for Mayhem too.

Nailz: Who cares? Did you see that Spinebuster? Yeeowch.

Dragging Sally by her ankles back to his corner, The Survivor starts pounding on Sally's obviously weakened mid-section with boots to the sternum. Sally tries desperately to shield herself but finds himself in dire straits. For good measure he decides to execute some suplex, a sequence of two German's and a vertical snap before tagging in “The Quintessentially English” Julius Farquhar who kicks things off with a standing knee drop to Sally's solar plexus. He then executes a few stomps to the chest before taking a moment to pose for the audience much to the fans chagrin while Sally starts crawling towards her corner.

Beckett: We're looking at a man who retired Phil Atken due to “tea related injuries” and he's currently mindlessly posing for an unimpressed audience. What is life?

Nailz: I don't know but he'd better do something quick because Sally is like a wounded animal and she's almost able to tag her partner in.

Farquhar simply allows Sally to tag in her partner of choice and in comes big Stan Everdeen ready to kick things up a notch against The Englishman. Farquhar decides to stop dicking about and tries to rush the entering Everden but gets a body slam for his efforts followed by another, and another. Pointing to a random hot girl in the crowd, he walks to the ropes and starts gyrating at her much to the delight of the fans. A bra even manages to find its way being thrown to the ring which Stan manages to catch. It's an adequate distraction though and before Stan can nod his approval he is taken out with an inverted DDT by Farquhar.

Nailz: Looks like Stan Everdeen just got cock blocked! Hahaha!

Beckett: Poor guy. I know the feeling.

Nailz: Always sucks when some guy messes up your move-making.

Choosing to allow someone else to follow up and keep the great team dynamic that Team Bad Guy have surprisingly put on display here, he tags in Chaz Dillinger who straight away gets gored to the floor by a waiting Stan Everdeen. Rapid fire punches to the mush soften up “The Revolutionist” and allow Stan a moment of reprieve to collect his thoughts. Getting his priorities straight, the first thing he does is what any good bro would do and picks up the bra to hand to his tag partner “Sr. Guapo” Armando Asante. Then he goes back to Chaz and goes for some quick stomps to the back of the head before applying a bow and arrow lock.

Beckett: Textbook submissioneering by the Studmuffin. It's a great part of his game and has been part of the wear and tear dynamic that has allowed the two men to successfully hold onto their tag championships for so long.

Nailz: That and they chiefly compete on Overdrive which everybody knows has inferior talent.

Clapping and stomping in rhythm as the textbook hold is applied, Chaz struggles his way up to a vertical level and out of the deadly grip of Stan Everdeen who attempts to reassert his dominance with a kick to the gut. It's good, but not enough as Chaz fires back with a rip-roaring uppercut that knocks the Studmuffin off-kilter. Stan fires back with a killer uppercut of his own which backs Chaz right off into the ropes giving him momentum for a vile gut kick and a Gut-Wrench Powerbomb to smash Stan Everdeen's resolve. A pinning effort follows.

1.

2.

-Kickout!

Nailz: Classic Chaz with that textbook Gut-Wrench Powerbomb! One of these men will have to tag out soon!

And it appears that man is Stan Everdeen who leaps for his corner and tags in “The Promise” Anthony Bailey. Backed with the throngs of screaming fans, Asylum's new poster boy revs up the engine and drops “The Revolutionist” flat on his ass with a big clothesline followed immediately by a diving elbow drop and Chaz doesn't know whether to make heads or tails of the assault. Next on the list was to haul big Chaz Dillinger up to his feet and up on the shoulders for a big Fireman's Carry. It's thumb to the eye weather though and Chaz pulls it off perfectly to the disappointment of the fans. Slipping down the back, Bailey takes it a step further and whirls Chaz right around into the Cripple Crossface.

Nailz: Oh snap! Oh snap! He got the Crossface! He got the Crossface! Is it locked in?!

Oh yes it's locked in. Not only that but front and centre too. Although he's quite honestly a fresh man in the match, nobody can survive this kind of punishment for too long. Not even “The Promise”. Scratching and clawing the mat, he desperately tries to drag himself towards the bottom rope but it's literally half the ring away and Chaz's vice grip is blocking his vision. Anthony decides that the way forward is to use his strength to roll sideways towards the rope instead. Lifting up to all fours, he powers himself over and takes Chaz with him ending up perilously close to the ropes but still just out of reach.

Beckett: Uhoh! He's so close but yet so far!

Nailz: And Chaz isn't going to let go!

By this skin of his teeth, Bailey makes it in tact to the ropes but with a significant amount of damage incurred. Holding onto his submission finisher, Chaz finally breaks the hold at the count of three and stares daggers into the referee. Grabbing Bailey's arm and leg, he tries to drag him away but Bailey battles back with kicks to the ribs. A massive uppercut kick to the chin sends Chaz staggering back and followed up with a springboard clothesline it puts Chaz on his ass ready for the finish. Delirious and off-balance, Chaz staggers up to his feet as Bailey looks to hit The Promise but Chaz saves himself and leaps for his corner to tag in Matt Matlock as Bailey nimbly sticks the landing on his feet.

Nailz: Tag made, Matt Matlock is now in this match!

Beckett: And Bailey makes a tag of his own. Here comes the World Heavyweight Champion!

Diving straight into the thick of it, Matt Matlock immediately goes for a clothesline to stop a rampaging Jason Kash but Kash ducks and bombs it towards Team Bad Guy's corner. Nailing a picture perfect backflip dropkick, Kash sends Farquhar flying off the apron and into the guardrail to the delight of fans everywhere. Kash then twirls around and sees Matt Matlock coming at him with another clothesline attempt but this time hits The UTI putting Matlock straight out for the count. Kash goes straight for the pinfall as the crowd goes wild and Team Good Guy start celebrating on the apron.

Beckett: The cover, this is it!

1!
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2!
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Wait. The referee isn't even counting.

Kash stares at the referee and demands that he counts the pinfall but he simply shakes his head.

Ref: Matlock is not the legal man!

Kash: So who is?!

The man that's snapping Kash right into a Victory Lock dead centre in the ring. Kicking and flailing, the distracted World Champion falls prey to the deadly submission of the American Hero who looks set to win the match for his team as The Captain. Much to the bewilderment of the audience, Callahan is actually the legal man. An instant replay shows that as Matlock climbed in to make his first charge, Callahan slapped Matlock on the back making himself the legal man and the referee had in fact acknowledged this. It was a smart play for definite and as Jason Kash struggles to stay alive, it's all but academic.

Nailz: A genius play by the man behind the Traditional Restoration Initiative and this one is all but over! Is Callahan about to make the World Champion tap out?

Beckett: The one thing that sets Callahan beyond his skills, beyond his natural athletic ability is his sheer genius. He's a Yale grad with an incredible amount of common sense and it shows buckets here right now. Kash is stuck!

Is it over?

It's over!

It's all over! Kash is out!

NO WAIT!

Not content with seeing Callahan duck her the entire match, Sally Talfourd decides to get involved and makes it her mission to do some damage. Breaking up the Victory Lock, she goes right on the assault but this prompts a response from Chaz Dillinger who's right in to meet her. Soon The Studmuffins join the fray and before you know it, Matlock and Kash are down while everyone else is duking it out. It becomes total chaos for a moment and nobody knows who is or isn't the legal man as chaos consumes the ring.

Nailz: There's absolute chaos in the ring right now! The ref has lost all control!

In the wild brawl that's erupted, Jason Kash, Chaz Dillinger, and Johnny Knuckles have actually started going at it, the three of them fighting tooth and nail, despite the fact that Knuckles and Dillinger are on the same team!

Beckett: Everything has broken down! Teammates are fighting each other, dogs and cats are living together, it's pandemonium!

While the three participants of the World Heavyweight Title Match at Mayhem are going at it, Julius and Bailey are going at it, with Jules Clotheslining Bailey over the top rope! Sally comes shooting across the ring like a house of fire, taking Jules out of the ring with a Flying Cross Body! The Studmuffins are double teaming Callahan while Matlock remains on the mat, and Sr. Guapo whips Callahan towards "Stunning" Stan, who back body drops him over the ropes to the floor! Kash, Knuckles and Dillinger are still going at it, and their brawl spills through the ropes, but they continue to go at on the floor as well! This leaves just the Studmuffins and Matt Matlock in the ring. The Studs appeal to the fans with tandem gyrations before pulling Matlock up by the head. Stan hoists Matt Matlock onto his shoulders, while Sr. Guapo climbs to the top rope! Sr. Guapo blows a kiss to a female fan in the front before leaping off and grabbing Matlock with a Flying Swinging Neck Breaker as Stan falls back with the Samoan Drop, nailing the Pick Up Line!

Nailz: The Pick Up Line! The Pick Up Line! The fans are on their feet!

At this point, Sally Talfourd is back in the ring, and she runs towards the ropes, springing off and nailing the downed Matlock with the Happy Ending, hooking his legs, 1
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2
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3! DING! DING! DING!

Winners: Sally Talfourd, The Studmuffins, Anthony Bailey, and Jason Kash[/center]

"Troublemaker" begins to blare as Anthony Bailey re-enters the ring and the ref raises the arms of Sally, Anthony, Stan and Armando. Kash is still fighting with his Mayhem opponents, as they head up the ramp and out the arena. Callahan looks into the ring with disgust as he and Julius hop the barricade and leave through the crowd.

Beckett: What the heck is up with that! There's no way that Sally Talfourd was the legal woman at that point of the match!

Nailz: I think the ref just decided to throw his hands up and say "screw it" because this match went totally out of control! Still, a big win for Sally and team heading into Mayhem, as they all gain precious momentum!

Sally, Bailey and the Studs continue to celebrate in the ring, with Armando and Stan hitting on Sally, while Bailey acknowledges the fans. The camera cuts backstage, Chaz, Jason and Johnny Knuckles are still going at it! Referees and agents run to try and break things up, but with no avail!

Nailz: What an intense battle between the three men involved in the World Heavyweight Title Match at Mayhem! They are having no success breaking them up at all!

Some of the agents are eventually able to peel the three men apart, but only for a second, as Jason Kash breaks free, and goes right for Chaz Dillinger! Johnny Knuckles kicks his leg up behind him to nail his captor in the crotch, breaking free to join right back into the fray! More agents and refs go down as they try to break things up, as Kash, Knuckles and Dillinger are fighting so hard and so wildly that there's plenty of collateral damage!

Beckett: If this is how hard they're fighting tonight, I can't wait to see their match at Mayhem!

Nailz: That's all the time we have for tonight, folks! Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you in two weeks for APW Mayhem! Goodnight!

APW Asylum fades to black with the three men still fighting, with no signs of letting up any time soon.