Post by Your JESUS on Jun 19, 2008 19:31:10 GMT -4
Sabur walks through the curtain, that leads backstage. The Irish Hammer flings a chair in anger, and kicks a case full of ring equipment. The case slides back knocking over a stack of tables.
"Hey"
Sabur turns around with steam boiling his sweat off, his muscles pumped, and veins popping out, to see the President Jeff standing there looking on as the Irish Hammer rages on his equipment.
Jeff: You might want to save that frustration for the PPV, your going one on one with Razor Ryan.
Jeff walks by pats the genetic powerhouse on his massive shoulder. Sabur takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. Sabur heads back to is locker room to change, and head out for the departing flight. With so time to blow off steam, and some nice relaxation time at home, Sabur then a few days prior to the show, jumps on a plane heading to St. Louis, and checks into his hotel. The day before the show, Sabur hops in his rental car, and heads to the airport. He sits outside in the loading zone, waiting for someone. Then his eyes light up, as he looks out toward the crowd of people shuffling through the door..No one can be seen, and then Saburs eyes drop down, and there he is. The return of Lil Dick...Sabur bends down giving the little man a hug, and is shoved off by the to cool midget.
Lil Dick: Hey...we are in public...you can't be hugging me like I'm your child.
Sabur: My bad...lets go... I got a room with a huge jacuzzi tube, I know how you love those bubbles.
Lil Dick (Bashfully) Oh Stop.
The two hop in the car, and Sabur then drives back to the hotel. On the drive a but of banter between the two takes place, like how they have been, and what has been going on, and such and such. The next day, the two head out for the arena, and pull up in the back lot. They jump out and head into the arena. The technical crew in the back begin cheering as they see the return of Lil Dick. Sabur stops, sets his bag down, and then hits his knees, bowing to the tiny fellow. Some of the guys then begin slapping fives with the Lil man, and they then finally make it to the locker room, to prepare for the show.
In the arena prior to the show, but with the camera rolling for the website, and future recaps, the lights go out. Deftones hits the sound system, and out struts everyones favorite man cow, the human wrecking machine, the Irish Hammer, what ever you wish to call him, he is Sabur. The man walks the ramp slapping hands with the fans, and stops in the middle half way down. Cups his hands to his mouth, and lets out a MOO' for all in attendance. The crowd responds with a Moo in return. Sabur sprints to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, and then stands tall with his fist in the air as pyro blasts off. Sabur then grabs a mic, and begins to spit.
Sabur: Alright friends, it's your boy Sabur...and tonight is Test 4 the Best, and a hell of a show it will be. Lots of thrills, surprises, and excitement. The APW has seen a slew of surprise returns, like John Green...
The fans boo the business man by day, and ass kicker by night.
Sabur: The return of Twister...
The fans of the arena cheer for Twisters twirl back into the ring.
Sabur: Unlike Green...Twister won his in ring return...anyways, the point I'm trying to make is there is something missing here in the APW....it's not talent...plenty of that....Jobbers..nah just added another to the list in Razor...
The fans erupt in laughter at Sabur's comment.
Sabur: But we will get to him in a minute, lets see whats missing....
Just then the lights dim, and the Fugges "Ready of Not" hits the PA. Razor bade spot lights shine on the walkway toward the ring, and from the curtain walks a pint sized Razor Ryan impersonator in the form of Lil Dick. He has painted a five O'Clock shadow on his face, and wears a mini mullet. His chest has fake stubble glued to it, and his covered by a purple vest, that reads "The Bad Guy" on the back. His neck loaded down with a Mr. T starter kit, and is dressed in a pair of purple underwear tights, with a Razor Blade on the rear. Matched up with purple arm and knee pads. The mini Razor struts out with his arms stretched out, stops and then does a classic Razor stomp while pointing his thumbs at himself, then ends it with a crucifix pose. He looks at the ring and walks toward Sabur. By this time the arena has gone nuts for the return of Lil Dick, and in true form, ready to mock, and poke fun.
Sabur: Ladies and Gentlemen...Say Hello to the Bad Guy....
Lil Dick walks up the stairs, stops dragging his feet on the apron, then looking in the ring, and straddles the bottom rope, enters the ring, and does another bad guy pose down, and in the midst of stomping his feet the midget falls over.
Sabur: Easy Bad Guy...your no spring chicken, and almost as played out as that gimmick, go easy, I need to show up for that match.
Lil Dick in Razor garb stands back up, grabs the tooth pick out of his mouth, walks over to Sabur...looks around..then flicks the tooth pick into the stomach of Sabur. Now Lil Bad Guy reaches up to snatch the mic out of Saburs hand, and Sabur holds the mic out of reach. The Lil Bad Guy kicks Sabur in the shin, and the Irish Hammer then hands over the mic.
Lil Bad Guy: Hey Yo...
Sabur then walks over and grabs another mic so the two of them can chat back and forth.
Lil Bad Guy: Sabur chico...tonight if something happens to my gold, then something is going to happen to you...chico....
Sabur: Your gold...Well Razor...that poor mans Run DMC chain is as close as you'll get to holding gold here, and thank god I figured that out for myself, before it was to late. Razor the business has left Scott Hall behind, and just because you found his old gimmick in the discount bin of Gimmicks R US doesn't mean it's relevant, or going to get you anywhere. That shipped has sailed, and the same goes for your career, it's on the dock waiting to be launched. It's time to sail off into the sunset, and I hope your bags are packed, cause the Irish Hammer in standing here tonight with a bottle of champagne ready to christen that ship of yours for it's final journey. That tattered old ship that is Razor Ryan, it's on the verge of retirement, and tonight I'm insure that it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. The pirate named Sabur has taken over your vessel, and commandeered the controls. I'm steering this bitch into the rocks, jumping off, and watch as your hopes, dream, blood, sweat and tears, get swallowed up by the cruel reality, that you are over. Thats right Ryan, the time as come, and your pony rides are finished. The Irish Hammer is on the rise, but first I must settle up with you. I owe you for the path of my career, I owe you for the way things have gone, and tonight I repay that debt, by dropping you with the House of Pain. You felt it last week, and once again you will taste the bitter sweet House of Pain. You body will sting, as your nerves will be in shock, and the Human Wrecking machine swoops in for the cover. You really can't think tonight your going to come into that ring, and get over on me. You got worked over by the true job squad, and haven't put together a win in singles competition in some time.
Sabur then takes a breath walks over to the ropes and leans up against them, and continues.
Sabur: You see Ryan I could sit out here all night, and run down the list, I mean you give opponents plenty of material to work with, and on this evening your opponent is me. Ryan has does it feel to stand on your own feet, and not have me as your back bone...cause me Chico...I'm feeling TO SWEEETT!!, not carrying your scruffy ass around. Fans say that the end of Sex and Violence began with the joining of Razor Ryan, you see Bad Guy, thats exactly what you are good at...being bad, bad at wrestling, bad at promos, and you are bad at winning, with that being said, everything you touch turns to shit. The stable...well crumbled to shit, at the hands of Sex and Violence, I mean we pretty much got the snot beat out of us at every turn, then with the formation of the Church...and Trevor distraught and obviously not thinking clearly he recruited us, and with your guidance, well we sank that ship, and now we move on to those tag titles, and the match that made everything oh so clear. You see I noted that Tara wasn't anywhere to be found when Diana snagged that title down, and neither where you, hell you have pretty much never showed up, and that my friend is the problem, but I can't blame you... when you have some one like me to go out and pretty much destroy, why should you pull your end, or even break a sweat. Well that day has passed, and wittle Wazor Wyan is walking on his own, and now that my load is lightened, the only thing left to do is, squash the cancer that is Razor Ryan. The day's of you rotting the APW are over, alert the medical profession, and award me the title of Doctor, Physician, or even medical genius, cause later in the center of that ring, the Irish Hammer has just found the cure for cancer. It's not affected by drugs, and therapy, this cancer is simply going to get riped in half, and shown that it is and has always been truly inferior. So Ryan I hope you are listening....Hey Yo.....tonight you will not be just a victim...no buddy...your my next... example. I will no longer be held back by your simple shitiness, and in our match there will be no problem selling the moves, for they will come in with the sheer stiffness, needing no sell. Our match just may be the shoot match of the century. This is the beginning of my quest, and the world will remember you...not for the accolades, and awards you may or may not stacked up along your career, not for the belts, or your valiant effort in the ring to bring forth a good product for the fans, no Razor you will be forever infamous for the first man to be the victim of the unleashed man beast that is Sabur. Razor you have lost your edge, you have grown dull, this industry takes sharpness, and thats exactly what I deliver. Sharp comments, sharp skill, and tonight I slice the remains of Razor in half. The retirement home has been notified, that another sad sack wrestler is enrolling, his career as run it's course. In the center of that ring I'm stomping you out, I'm nailing the coffin shut, and finally putting your out of your misery. You have been wandering around here like a wounded animal, with no hope for cure. So euthanizing will commence, next Monday we will hold a funeral service for the memory that was Razor Ryan. The eulogy will be spoken, and the people will have payed their respects, and all that will be left for you Razor is the darkness, and the sound of the dirt thudding against the coffin. The death of the Bad Guy is here, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Tonight you step in my ring, where I excel, it's my house, and I make the rules. Later you will be treated like an intruder, and trespasser in my home, and will be treated as such. I'm leaving you for dead, there will be no need for police, just the coroner. In closing Razor enter if you dare....cause the beast is loose, and it's coming for you.
Sabur drops the mic, and holds his hands up for the crowd, and the Lil Bad Guy walks over to Sabur. The Irish Hammer acts like he's throwing a blow, stops short, then pushes his finger into the forehead of Lil Bad Guy. Lil Dick falls backward in his get up, Sabur stands over him, places a boot in his chest, and counts in the air with his fingers....1....2.....3...Saburs music then hits, and he exits the ring. Lil Dick pulls off the mullet wig, throws it to the crowd, then tosses his vest out to the crowd. He jumps in the arms of Sabur, and the Irish Hammer exits once again with his Lil Dick in his hands.
"Hey"
Sabur turns around with steam boiling his sweat off, his muscles pumped, and veins popping out, to see the President Jeff standing there looking on as the Irish Hammer rages on his equipment.
Jeff: You might want to save that frustration for the PPV, your going one on one with Razor Ryan.
Jeff walks by pats the genetic powerhouse on his massive shoulder. Sabur takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. Sabur heads back to is locker room to change, and head out for the departing flight. With so time to blow off steam, and some nice relaxation time at home, Sabur then a few days prior to the show, jumps on a plane heading to St. Louis, and checks into his hotel. The day before the show, Sabur hops in his rental car, and heads to the airport. He sits outside in the loading zone, waiting for someone. Then his eyes light up, as he looks out toward the crowd of people shuffling through the door..No one can be seen, and then Saburs eyes drop down, and there he is. The return of Lil Dick...Sabur bends down giving the little man a hug, and is shoved off by the to cool midget.
Lil Dick: Hey...we are in public...you can't be hugging me like I'm your child.
Sabur: My bad...lets go... I got a room with a huge jacuzzi tube, I know how you love those bubbles.
Lil Dick (Bashfully) Oh Stop.
The two hop in the car, and Sabur then drives back to the hotel. On the drive a but of banter between the two takes place, like how they have been, and what has been going on, and such and such. The next day, the two head out for the arena, and pull up in the back lot. They jump out and head into the arena. The technical crew in the back begin cheering as they see the return of Lil Dick. Sabur stops, sets his bag down, and then hits his knees, bowing to the tiny fellow. Some of the guys then begin slapping fives with the Lil man, and they then finally make it to the locker room, to prepare for the show.
In the arena prior to the show, but with the camera rolling for the website, and future recaps, the lights go out. Deftones hits the sound system, and out struts everyones favorite man cow, the human wrecking machine, the Irish Hammer, what ever you wish to call him, he is Sabur. The man walks the ramp slapping hands with the fans, and stops in the middle half way down. Cups his hands to his mouth, and lets out a MOO' for all in attendance. The crowd responds with a Moo in return. Sabur sprints to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, and then stands tall with his fist in the air as pyro blasts off. Sabur then grabs a mic, and begins to spit.
Sabur: Alright friends, it's your boy Sabur...and tonight is Test 4 the Best, and a hell of a show it will be. Lots of thrills, surprises, and excitement. The APW has seen a slew of surprise returns, like John Green...
The fans boo the business man by day, and ass kicker by night.
Sabur: The return of Twister...
The fans of the arena cheer for Twisters twirl back into the ring.
Sabur: Unlike Green...Twister won his in ring return...anyways, the point I'm trying to make is there is something missing here in the APW....it's not talent...plenty of that....Jobbers..nah just added another to the list in Razor...
The fans erupt in laughter at Sabur's comment.
Sabur: But we will get to him in a minute, lets see whats missing....
Just then the lights dim, and the Fugges "Ready of Not" hits the PA. Razor bade spot lights shine on the walkway toward the ring, and from the curtain walks a pint sized Razor Ryan impersonator in the form of Lil Dick. He has painted a five O'Clock shadow on his face, and wears a mini mullet. His chest has fake stubble glued to it, and his covered by a purple vest, that reads "The Bad Guy" on the back. His neck loaded down with a Mr. T starter kit, and is dressed in a pair of purple underwear tights, with a Razor Blade on the rear. Matched up with purple arm and knee pads. The mini Razor struts out with his arms stretched out, stops and then does a classic Razor stomp while pointing his thumbs at himself, then ends it with a crucifix pose. He looks at the ring and walks toward Sabur. By this time the arena has gone nuts for the return of Lil Dick, and in true form, ready to mock, and poke fun.
Sabur: Ladies and Gentlemen...Say Hello to the Bad Guy....
Lil Dick walks up the stairs, stops dragging his feet on the apron, then looking in the ring, and straddles the bottom rope, enters the ring, and does another bad guy pose down, and in the midst of stomping his feet the midget falls over.
Sabur: Easy Bad Guy...your no spring chicken, and almost as played out as that gimmick, go easy, I need to show up for that match.
Lil Dick in Razor garb stands back up, grabs the tooth pick out of his mouth, walks over to Sabur...looks around..then flicks the tooth pick into the stomach of Sabur. Now Lil Bad Guy reaches up to snatch the mic out of Saburs hand, and Sabur holds the mic out of reach. The Lil Bad Guy kicks Sabur in the shin, and the Irish Hammer then hands over the mic.
Lil Bad Guy: Hey Yo...
Sabur then walks over and grabs another mic so the two of them can chat back and forth.
Lil Bad Guy: Sabur chico...tonight if something happens to my gold, then something is going to happen to you...chico....
Sabur: Your gold...Well Razor...that poor mans Run DMC chain is as close as you'll get to holding gold here, and thank god I figured that out for myself, before it was to late. Razor the business has left Scott Hall behind, and just because you found his old gimmick in the discount bin of Gimmicks R US doesn't mean it's relevant, or going to get you anywhere. That shipped has sailed, and the same goes for your career, it's on the dock waiting to be launched. It's time to sail off into the sunset, and I hope your bags are packed, cause the Irish Hammer in standing here tonight with a bottle of champagne ready to christen that ship of yours for it's final journey. That tattered old ship that is Razor Ryan, it's on the verge of retirement, and tonight I'm insure that it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. The pirate named Sabur has taken over your vessel, and commandeered the controls. I'm steering this bitch into the rocks, jumping off, and watch as your hopes, dream, blood, sweat and tears, get swallowed up by the cruel reality, that you are over. Thats right Ryan, the time as come, and your pony rides are finished. The Irish Hammer is on the rise, but first I must settle up with you. I owe you for the path of my career, I owe you for the way things have gone, and tonight I repay that debt, by dropping you with the House of Pain. You felt it last week, and once again you will taste the bitter sweet House of Pain. You body will sting, as your nerves will be in shock, and the Human Wrecking machine swoops in for the cover. You really can't think tonight your going to come into that ring, and get over on me. You got worked over by the true job squad, and haven't put together a win in singles competition in some time.
Sabur then takes a breath walks over to the ropes and leans up against them, and continues.
Sabur: You see Ryan I could sit out here all night, and run down the list, I mean you give opponents plenty of material to work with, and on this evening your opponent is me. Ryan has does it feel to stand on your own feet, and not have me as your back bone...cause me Chico...I'm feeling TO SWEEETT!!, not carrying your scruffy ass around. Fans say that the end of Sex and Violence began with the joining of Razor Ryan, you see Bad Guy, thats exactly what you are good at...being bad, bad at wrestling, bad at promos, and you are bad at winning, with that being said, everything you touch turns to shit. The stable...well crumbled to shit, at the hands of Sex and Violence, I mean we pretty much got the snot beat out of us at every turn, then with the formation of the Church...and Trevor distraught and obviously not thinking clearly he recruited us, and with your guidance, well we sank that ship, and now we move on to those tag titles, and the match that made everything oh so clear. You see I noted that Tara wasn't anywhere to be found when Diana snagged that title down, and neither where you, hell you have pretty much never showed up, and that my friend is the problem, but I can't blame you... when you have some one like me to go out and pretty much destroy, why should you pull your end, or even break a sweat. Well that day has passed, and wittle Wazor Wyan is walking on his own, and now that my load is lightened, the only thing left to do is, squash the cancer that is Razor Ryan. The day's of you rotting the APW are over, alert the medical profession, and award me the title of Doctor, Physician, or even medical genius, cause later in the center of that ring, the Irish Hammer has just found the cure for cancer. It's not affected by drugs, and therapy, this cancer is simply going to get riped in half, and shown that it is and has always been truly inferior. So Ryan I hope you are listening....Hey Yo.....tonight you will not be just a victim...no buddy...your my next... example. I will no longer be held back by your simple shitiness, and in our match there will be no problem selling the moves, for they will come in with the sheer stiffness, needing no sell. Our match just may be the shoot match of the century. This is the beginning of my quest, and the world will remember you...not for the accolades, and awards you may or may not stacked up along your career, not for the belts, or your valiant effort in the ring to bring forth a good product for the fans, no Razor you will be forever infamous for the first man to be the victim of the unleashed man beast that is Sabur. Razor you have lost your edge, you have grown dull, this industry takes sharpness, and thats exactly what I deliver. Sharp comments, sharp skill, and tonight I slice the remains of Razor in half. The retirement home has been notified, that another sad sack wrestler is enrolling, his career as run it's course. In the center of that ring I'm stomping you out, I'm nailing the coffin shut, and finally putting your out of your misery. You have been wandering around here like a wounded animal, with no hope for cure. So euthanizing will commence, next Monday we will hold a funeral service for the memory that was Razor Ryan. The eulogy will be spoken, and the people will have payed their respects, and all that will be left for you Razor is the darkness, and the sound of the dirt thudding against the coffin. The death of the Bad Guy is here, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Tonight you step in my ring, where I excel, it's my house, and I make the rules. Later you will be treated like an intruder, and trespasser in my home, and will be treated as such. I'm leaving you for dead, there will be no need for police, just the coroner. In closing Razor enter if you dare....cause the beast is loose, and it's coming for you.
Sabur drops the mic, and holds his hands up for the crowd, and the Lil Bad Guy walks over to Sabur. The Irish Hammer acts like he's throwing a blow, stops short, then pushes his finger into the forehead of Lil Bad Guy. Lil Dick falls backward in his get up, Sabur stands over him, places a boot in his chest, and counts in the air with his fingers....1....2.....3...Saburs music then hits, and he exits the ring. Lil Dick pulls off the mullet wig, throws it to the crowd, then tosses his vest out to the crowd. He jumps in the arms of Sabur, and the Irish Hammer exits once again with his Lil Dick in his hands.
