Post by showtime on May 11, 2012 16:00:43 GMT -4
It's hard to describe a training montage. You have to experience it. Like that bit at the beginning of Rocky III where on one side you see Rocky Balboa guest-starring on the Muppet Show, while Clubber Lang is busy punching bricks with homemade boxing gloves. Or however it went... well ramp that up by a trillion and change the aforementioned to "Smooth" Tommy Walker and "the Masterpiece" Mike Hunter. That's what's happening.
"Smooth" Tommy Walker: Just to be sure Mike, why exactly am I climbing up and down stairs with a side of beef on my shoulders?
"The Masterpiece" Mike Hunter: Dexterity, Walky! Dexterity! The guy you're fighting has you beat in strength, size and brains. You need to bump up your speed to stand a chance!
Tommy puts down the side of beef just mentioned, and sits on a step. From the stairs just mentioned.
STW: Mike, I have wrestled singled before. I didn't just suddenly become a wrestler the day we became partners.
MMH: And you won how many matches?
Tommy resignedly picks up the beef and continues trudging up and down the stairs.
STW: So what's the deal with this "Killerplauze" guy? What's that even mean?
MMH: It's German. Means "fond of applesauce".
STW: Huh. I didn't know you speak German.
MMH: My family is German. Ten generations.
Mike smiles his trademark African-American-who-looks-striking-like-Billy-Dee-Williams Smile.
STW: Well how about that. Anything else you know about him?
MMH: Germans hate him and he's on TV.
STW: Like the anti-Hasselhoff.
The Foot of Warning shoots out and nearly knocks Walker down the stairs.
MMH: Okay, one more trite joke from 1990s Saturday Night Live, and you get a boot massage in the face.
STW: But...
The foot remains. Hunter has good balance.
MMH: We've been over this. I do the funny remarks, you stand there and look pretty.
Tommy gets a confused look on his face.
STW: Hey! What do you mean "in brains"? I'm plenty smart!
MMH: Of course you are. But to beat Stephan Raab, you need to be more! You need. Skill! You need flash! You need pizazz!
STW: I'm flashy!
MMH: Are you now.
STW: I am! I can do a... I can drop kick!
Mike just rests his face in his hands.
STW: What? Hulk Hogan can't drop kick!
Mike considers another kick to Tommy's head, but just shakes his head instead.
STW: Mike? Where you going Mike?
Mike walks down the stairs, out of frame.
MMH: Just keep climbing and descending until I say stop!
STW: Then what?
MMH: Then rinse it off and make me a steak! All this training is making me hungry!
STW: I don't think you're taking this seriously!
And fade...
"Smooth" Tommy Walker: Just to be sure Mike, why exactly am I climbing up and down stairs with a side of beef on my shoulders?
"The Masterpiece" Mike Hunter: Dexterity, Walky! Dexterity! The guy you're fighting has you beat in strength, size and brains. You need to bump up your speed to stand a chance!
Tommy puts down the side of beef just mentioned, and sits on a step. From the stairs just mentioned.
STW: Mike, I have wrestled singled before. I didn't just suddenly become a wrestler the day we became partners.
MMH: And you won how many matches?
Tommy resignedly picks up the beef and continues trudging up and down the stairs.
STW: So what's the deal with this "Killerplauze" guy? What's that even mean?
MMH: It's German. Means "fond of applesauce".
STW: Huh. I didn't know you speak German.
MMH: My family is German. Ten generations.
Mike smiles his trademark African-American-who-looks-striking-like-Billy-Dee-Williams Smile.
STW: Well how about that. Anything else you know about him?
MMH: Germans hate him and he's on TV.
STW: Like the anti-Hasselhoff.
The Foot of Warning shoots out and nearly knocks Walker down the stairs.
MMH: Okay, one more trite joke from 1990s Saturday Night Live, and you get a boot massage in the face.
STW: But...
The foot remains. Hunter has good balance.
MMH: We've been over this. I do the funny remarks, you stand there and look pretty.
Tommy gets a confused look on his face.
STW: Hey! What do you mean "in brains"? I'm plenty smart!
MMH: Of course you are. But to beat Stephan Raab, you need to be more! You need. Skill! You need flash! You need pizazz!
STW: I'm flashy!
MMH: Are you now.
STW: I am! I can do a... I can drop kick!
Mike just rests his face in his hands.
STW: What? Hulk Hogan can't drop kick!
Mike considers another kick to Tommy's head, but just shakes his head instead.
STW: Mike? Where you going Mike?
Mike walks down the stairs, out of frame.
MMH: Just keep climbing and descending until I say stop!
STW: Then what?
MMH: Then rinse it off and make me a steak! All this training is making me hungry!
STW: I don't think you're taking this seriously!
And fade...
