Post by Nathaniel Havok on May 17, 2012 20:21:09 GMT -4
The scene opens up in a men’s restroom. The restroom is empty, not a soul in sight. The only sound that can be heard, comes from the leaky faucets across the room. The entrance door swings open, and into the restroom comes none other than the Revolutionist, Chaz Dillinger. He’s got a smile on his face, he shakes his head from side to side as he chuckles to himself.
Dillinger: Those crazy bastards. Wow, just, wow!
With no idea of who he’s talking about, we can only assume that he’s not addressing us quite yet. Chaz walks up to a urinal, and places his bottle of water on top. After unzipping his fly, he adjusts, gets set, then he’s off to the races… Out of the corner of his eye, Chaz acts shocked to see a camera in the men’s restroom.
Dillinger: Oh, hey there! What the hell are you doing in here?
He shakes, readjusts, and zips his fly back up. After flushing the urinal, Chaz walks over to the sink, and begins to wash his hands.
Dillinger: I can only imagine that all the ladies just fainted in anticipation of watching me turn around. However, I’m sorry ladies. Everybody knows that female wrestling fans are fat, nasty, and definitely way below the Revolutionists standards.
Chaz chuckles to himself as he turns off the water faucet. He walks over to the paper towel dispenser, taking a couple to dry off his hands. With his hands dry, Chaz tosses the paper towel into the waste receptacle, before hopping up onto the sink counter, to more-thoroughly address his audience.
Dillinger: I find it funny, I really do. I find it funny how a man can manipulate the people so much, that they live and breath for his next word. They treat his opinion as fact, and they buy into everything he says. Of course Jason Kash, I’m talking about you. So tell me, what did you do exactly? Did you bribe a bunch of homeless people with clothing? Did you clothe them, and tell them in return, they had to appear in your promo? Did you make all of them signs yourself? Come on, Champ! If you’re going to do something, do it right. Here, let me show you.
Chaz begins to walk to the exit of the restroom, but quickly stops.
Dillinger: Shit, I almost forgot!
Chaz walks back over to the urinal, grabs his water, drinks the rest of it, and tosses it into the waste receptacle.
Dillinger: Ah, there we go. Now, let’s get a move on, shall we?
As he leaves the restroom, the cameras follow. He continues to address the audience, as he opens the restroom door.
Dillinger: You’re going to love this one, Kash. Trust me champ, I spared no expense on you! You’re going to love it, I bet!
Leaving the restroom, Chaz makes an immediate left. Just a few doors down, we can hear the screams and cries to two grown men.
Dillinger: Now, I wonder what that could be!
Entering the room, we find two men, dressed like Jason Kash and Johnny Knuckles, standing behind a very cheap prism flame projector. The two men continue to howl in pain, acting as if they’re burning up inside the fire.
Kash: Chaz, help us, please!
Dillinger: I’m sorry, Jason. But, I don’t seem to have any water. Come to think of it, I just evacuated my bladder as well. Sorry, champ, I guess you’re just shit out of luck.
Knuckles: No, Chaz! Come on, pee on me! I’m begging you!
Dillinger: I’m sure you’d like that, Knuckles… But I’m sorry, I don’t have to go right now.
The two men behind the flame projector howl out in pain once again. The word “CUT!” can be heard loud-and-clear in the background, and the entire room begins to clear out. Into the picture walks Chaz’s attorney, Simon Brewster.
Brewster: Awesome! Just awesome! That bit you did in the bathroom, looked very natural! They’ll have no idea what you’re setting them up for! The fans are going to love it.
Dillinger: This was a stupid idea, why’d you even sign me up for this bit in the first place?
Brewster: What are you talking about?
Dillinger: THIS IS STUPID! This whole segment, it’s stupid! It… It… It just sucks!
Brewster: No it doesn’t, it’s entertainment! The fans are going to love it! You need to get them on your side, Chaz. It might help determine some match outcomes. You can feed off of them, use them to wheel you on to victory! But you need to be humorous, you need a shtick that they can latch on to. And being a fan-favorite has its perks! Do you know how much more money we can make off of merchandising?
With the entire room now clear of everyone except Simon and Chaz, Chaz snaps. He turns around, turning over a platter table, as a melody of vegetables go flying through the air. Simon jumps back in fear, knowing that Chaz has gone nuts.
Dillinger: I don’t need any fans! I don’t need merchandise sales, and I don’t need people to cheer me on to victory! But more than that, I don’t need you in my face, telling me how to do my God damn job! Your half-ton ass couldn’t even carry my bags into the arena! Who are you to tell me what I need to do in the wrestling business?
Brewster: With all due respect Chaz, it’s business. It’s a business, and I’m your advisor.
Dillinger: No, you’re not. You’re my legal advisor.
Brewster: It’s the same thing, Chaz!
Dillinger: No, wrong again! When I do business, I make the decisions! And like you said, wrestling is a business. Therefore, you…
Chaz rushes at Simon, backing him up against a wall. Chaz then lunges back, and acts like he is going to hit Simon, but barley missing, and hitting the wall. He keeps his fist clinging to the wall, as he intimidates Simon in the corner.
Dillinger: You stay out of it! Understood?
In fear, Simon’s legs begin to tremble. He shakes his head, agreeing with Chaz, which makes Chaz grin from ear to ear. Chaz places his hand on Simon’s cheek, slapping him softly a few times.
Dillinger: You just don’t get it, Simon. I don’t need all of this! I’m not Jason Kash, I don’t need to hire actors, I don’t need to attract any special attention, and I don’t need any exterior appeal outside of the ring. Hell, I don’t even need an energy drink with a repulsive name! I’m Chaz Dillinger, JUST Chaz Dillinger. No gimmicks needed (pun intended), nothing but my God-given wrestling ability. Which by the way, has come into question by our World Heavyweight Champion. Simon, I just don’t need any of this bullshit. Jason Kash might, Johnny Knuckles might, but I don’t. I’m talented enough in my own right, to stand in a wrestling ring as a true professional wrestler. And regardless of what Jason Kash claims, true professional wrestlers have always been of my stature. The big men he spoke of, they were always made the main attraction for a reason. Back in the golden era, they were side shows! Now, they seem to bombard the entire show!
Brewster: He’s just talking out of his ass, Chaz. You know how stoners work, they ramble on incoherently.
Dillinger: That’s not true. Jason Kash does make some valid points. But Sunday night, when I take that World Championship, it’s going to validate my points as well. Kash is sick, Simon. He’s sick in the head. And somehow, he continues to brainwash and manipulate the fans into liking him! I don’t know of any parent that would allow their kid to idolize a man like Jason Kash! I know I wouldn’t!
Simon begins to laugh. His big belly continuously jiggles up and down.
Brewster: Yeah, I think his mom should have swallowed!
As he continues to laugh, Chaz finds nothing funny.
Dillinger: Please, shut up.
Immediately, Simon stops laughing. With his attention once again, Chaz continues…
Dillinger: Jason Kash stands for everything that’s wrong with this country! And the sad truth is, his popularity reaches all around the world. Pop culture dictates culture, and he’s a front-runner! What do you think the Initiative is all about, Simon? We came together to rid the business of filth like this! What better way to show the world that we’re following through with our promises? I don’t need piss-poor distractions like this! I need to be training, I need to be thinking about the World Heavyweight Championship.
Brewster: You need to get inside of his head! You haven’t, and it shows! I can’t think of a better way to do it, Chaz! Take away his fanbase, and Jason Kash is nothing!
Dillinger: Shows how much you know! The man was World Champion long before the fans started liking him! At one time, he was an okay guy. But then he decided to sell out to the fans. I guess his money flow was less than his weed consumption. He had to figure out a way to make up for the loss.
Brewster: How did he even become champion?
Dillinger: Pay attention, Simon. The guy is probably the toughest man in Action Packed Wrestling. He can go hand to hand with anybody, and royally mess them up.
Brewster: Why are you talking this guy up so much? I mean, you talk like you hate him, yet you praise his skills?
Dillinger: I’ll never be one to deny talent. But more, I’ll never be one to buy into gimmicks. Jason Kash can fight with the best of them, but he’ll never be able to out-wrestle me. Same goes for Johnny Knuckles. He’s been around for a long time now, probably longer than anybody in APW. He’s truly seen and done it all in this company, I can’t deny that either. The problem with Johnny is, he’s clinging onto his spot like all the has-beens before him. Have you seen him in the ring? He’s nothing like he used to be! Taking time off to heal up really put a damper on his in-ring skills. Right now, he’s just in the spot he’s in because of his name. He’s one of those guys who can come back and reclaim his spot whenever he wants, which says a lot about what he’s done previously with his APW career. Problem is, now he’s an old dog. And if Jason Kash doesn’t, I have no problem putting Old Yeller to sleep!
Brewster: Well regardless, I still think you should air the skit. By contract, you have to, actually.
Dillinger: You signed a contract to air this shit?
Brewster: I told you I had some money-making ideas! You gave me the go-ahead!
Dillinger: This isn’t a money-making idea, Simon! This was a piss-poor attempt at being funny, which obviously was your genius! You’re really a piece of work, you know that? A fat, dumb piece of work. I’m starting to think that your mom should have swallowed.
Saddened by Chaz’s comment, Simon lowers his head in shame. Chaz chuckles, patting his friend on the shoulder.
Dillinger: You just don’t get it, Simon. Right now, we’re at war. We’re fighting against a very liberal wrestling business. Soon enough, we’re going to end up like the NBA! Liberal enough to allow our talent to attack fans, and then change their name to Meta World Peace! Would you take a champion like Jason Kash serious, if he changed his name to Meta World Peace?
Brewster: I don’t suppose so.
Dillinger: And much like it’s up to the Western Conference to make sure Meta World Peace doesn’t end up getting a chance for the championship, it’s my duty as a wrestling purist to make sure that Jason Kash’s reign ends on Sunday night!
Brewster: Come on, Chaz. The champ isn’t that bad! He’s nowhere near Ron Artest!
Dillinger: Not yet. But with every passing day that he’s World Heavyweight Champion, we get one day closer to the end of this business. The crowd, the shirts, the signs, they’re all a product of Jason Kash. These people buy into it, and he reaps the rewards. They don’t see it, but I do. You say I’m not inside his head? Well, in a way, I am. I know what he’s thinking, I know what he’s feeling. In his mind, he’s already won this match. It’s up to Chaz Dillinger, to prove him wrong.
Brewster: You’re back’s against the wall here.
Dillinger: I’m okay with the pressure.
Brewster: Your record as of late doesn’t back that up.
Dillinger: Minor setbacks, completely meaningless and completely irrelevant… Kind of like Johnny Knuckles.
Brewster: You really think so?
Dillinger: I know so! And what in the hell is this, an interrogation? Simon, my hunger to be the World Heavyweight Champion, surpasses anything that Jason Kash or Johnny Knuckles can bring to the table. Sunday night is MY time, and I’m not going to let the T.R.I. down. I could care less what Jason Kash has to say, and you can’t even understand Knuckles half the time. So the way I see it is, the stage has been set. And you’re right, I wouldn’t piss on either of them if they were on fire. They’re everything I hate, everything that this business SHOULDN’T stand for.
Chaz takes a brief pause, allowing Simon to soak up his words of wisdom.
Dillinger: Air your little skit, I don’t care. While I personally think it’s the lamest idea you’ve ever had or not, it doesn’t change the fact that Sunday night, I will leave as the World Heavyweight Champion. The skit doesn’t make the wrestler, it’s the ability and the heart that the man possesses. And no one wants to win that title more than I do. So gimmick your heart-attack ridden heart out, Simon. It’s not going to change anything. I’m still going to walk into Mayhem with a single goal, and I’m still going to walk out as the new APW World Heavyweight Champion. Everything I’ve done thus-far in this business, has all lead and prepared me for Sunday night. I’m ready, and you can bet your ass that I’m going to win it.
Brewster: And if you lose?
Chaz chuckles.
Dillinger: I just don’t see that happening…
The scene fades to black…
Dillinger: Those crazy bastards. Wow, just, wow!
With no idea of who he’s talking about, we can only assume that he’s not addressing us quite yet. Chaz walks up to a urinal, and places his bottle of water on top. After unzipping his fly, he adjusts, gets set, then he’s off to the races… Out of the corner of his eye, Chaz acts shocked to see a camera in the men’s restroom.
Dillinger: Oh, hey there! What the hell are you doing in here?
He shakes, readjusts, and zips his fly back up. After flushing the urinal, Chaz walks over to the sink, and begins to wash his hands.
Dillinger: I can only imagine that all the ladies just fainted in anticipation of watching me turn around. However, I’m sorry ladies. Everybody knows that female wrestling fans are fat, nasty, and definitely way below the Revolutionists standards.
Chaz chuckles to himself as he turns off the water faucet. He walks over to the paper towel dispenser, taking a couple to dry off his hands. With his hands dry, Chaz tosses the paper towel into the waste receptacle, before hopping up onto the sink counter, to more-thoroughly address his audience.
Dillinger: I find it funny, I really do. I find it funny how a man can manipulate the people so much, that they live and breath for his next word. They treat his opinion as fact, and they buy into everything he says. Of course Jason Kash, I’m talking about you. So tell me, what did you do exactly? Did you bribe a bunch of homeless people with clothing? Did you clothe them, and tell them in return, they had to appear in your promo? Did you make all of them signs yourself? Come on, Champ! If you’re going to do something, do it right. Here, let me show you.
Chaz begins to walk to the exit of the restroom, but quickly stops.
Dillinger: Shit, I almost forgot!
Chaz walks back over to the urinal, grabs his water, drinks the rest of it, and tosses it into the waste receptacle.
Dillinger: Ah, there we go. Now, let’s get a move on, shall we?
As he leaves the restroom, the cameras follow. He continues to address the audience, as he opens the restroom door.
Dillinger: You’re going to love this one, Kash. Trust me champ, I spared no expense on you! You’re going to love it, I bet!
Leaving the restroom, Chaz makes an immediate left. Just a few doors down, we can hear the screams and cries to two grown men.
Dillinger: Now, I wonder what that could be!
Entering the room, we find two men, dressed like Jason Kash and Johnny Knuckles, standing behind a very cheap prism flame projector. The two men continue to howl in pain, acting as if they’re burning up inside the fire.
Kash: Chaz, help us, please!
Dillinger: I’m sorry, Jason. But, I don’t seem to have any water. Come to think of it, I just evacuated my bladder as well. Sorry, champ, I guess you’re just shit out of luck.
Knuckles: No, Chaz! Come on, pee on me! I’m begging you!
Dillinger: I’m sure you’d like that, Knuckles… But I’m sorry, I don’t have to go right now.
The two men behind the flame projector howl out in pain once again. The word “CUT!” can be heard loud-and-clear in the background, and the entire room begins to clear out. Into the picture walks Chaz’s attorney, Simon Brewster.
Brewster: Awesome! Just awesome! That bit you did in the bathroom, looked very natural! They’ll have no idea what you’re setting them up for! The fans are going to love it.
Dillinger: This was a stupid idea, why’d you even sign me up for this bit in the first place?
Brewster: What are you talking about?
Dillinger: THIS IS STUPID! This whole segment, it’s stupid! It… It… It just sucks!
Brewster: No it doesn’t, it’s entertainment! The fans are going to love it! You need to get them on your side, Chaz. It might help determine some match outcomes. You can feed off of them, use them to wheel you on to victory! But you need to be humorous, you need a shtick that they can latch on to. And being a fan-favorite has its perks! Do you know how much more money we can make off of merchandising?
With the entire room now clear of everyone except Simon and Chaz, Chaz snaps. He turns around, turning over a platter table, as a melody of vegetables go flying through the air. Simon jumps back in fear, knowing that Chaz has gone nuts.
Dillinger: I don’t need any fans! I don’t need merchandise sales, and I don’t need people to cheer me on to victory! But more than that, I don’t need you in my face, telling me how to do my God damn job! Your half-ton ass couldn’t even carry my bags into the arena! Who are you to tell me what I need to do in the wrestling business?
Brewster: With all due respect Chaz, it’s business. It’s a business, and I’m your advisor.
Dillinger: No, you’re not. You’re my legal advisor.
Brewster: It’s the same thing, Chaz!
Dillinger: No, wrong again! When I do business, I make the decisions! And like you said, wrestling is a business. Therefore, you…
Chaz rushes at Simon, backing him up against a wall. Chaz then lunges back, and acts like he is going to hit Simon, but barley missing, and hitting the wall. He keeps his fist clinging to the wall, as he intimidates Simon in the corner.
Dillinger: You stay out of it! Understood?
In fear, Simon’s legs begin to tremble. He shakes his head, agreeing with Chaz, which makes Chaz grin from ear to ear. Chaz places his hand on Simon’s cheek, slapping him softly a few times.
Dillinger: You just don’t get it, Simon. I don’t need all of this! I’m not Jason Kash, I don’t need to hire actors, I don’t need to attract any special attention, and I don’t need any exterior appeal outside of the ring. Hell, I don’t even need an energy drink with a repulsive name! I’m Chaz Dillinger, JUST Chaz Dillinger. No gimmicks needed (pun intended), nothing but my God-given wrestling ability. Which by the way, has come into question by our World Heavyweight Champion. Simon, I just don’t need any of this bullshit. Jason Kash might, Johnny Knuckles might, but I don’t. I’m talented enough in my own right, to stand in a wrestling ring as a true professional wrestler. And regardless of what Jason Kash claims, true professional wrestlers have always been of my stature. The big men he spoke of, they were always made the main attraction for a reason. Back in the golden era, they were side shows! Now, they seem to bombard the entire show!
Brewster: He’s just talking out of his ass, Chaz. You know how stoners work, they ramble on incoherently.
Dillinger: That’s not true. Jason Kash does make some valid points. But Sunday night, when I take that World Championship, it’s going to validate my points as well. Kash is sick, Simon. He’s sick in the head. And somehow, he continues to brainwash and manipulate the fans into liking him! I don’t know of any parent that would allow their kid to idolize a man like Jason Kash! I know I wouldn’t!
Simon begins to laugh. His big belly continuously jiggles up and down.
Brewster: Yeah, I think his mom should have swallowed!
As he continues to laugh, Chaz finds nothing funny.
Dillinger: Please, shut up.
Immediately, Simon stops laughing. With his attention once again, Chaz continues…
Dillinger: Jason Kash stands for everything that’s wrong with this country! And the sad truth is, his popularity reaches all around the world. Pop culture dictates culture, and he’s a front-runner! What do you think the Initiative is all about, Simon? We came together to rid the business of filth like this! What better way to show the world that we’re following through with our promises? I don’t need piss-poor distractions like this! I need to be training, I need to be thinking about the World Heavyweight Championship.
Brewster: You need to get inside of his head! You haven’t, and it shows! I can’t think of a better way to do it, Chaz! Take away his fanbase, and Jason Kash is nothing!
Dillinger: Shows how much you know! The man was World Champion long before the fans started liking him! At one time, he was an okay guy. But then he decided to sell out to the fans. I guess his money flow was less than his weed consumption. He had to figure out a way to make up for the loss.
Brewster: How did he even become champion?
Dillinger: Pay attention, Simon. The guy is probably the toughest man in Action Packed Wrestling. He can go hand to hand with anybody, and royally mess them up.
Brewster: Why are you talking this guy up so much? I mean, you talk like you hate him, yet you praise his skills?
Dillinger: I’ll never be one to deny talent. But more, I’ll never be one to buy into gimmicks. Jason Kash can fight with the best of them, but he’ll never be able to out-wrestle me. Same goes for Johnny Knuckles. He’s been around for a long time now, probably longer than anybody in APW. He’s truly seen and done it all in this company, I can’t deny that either. The problem with Johnny is, he’s clinging onto his spot like all the has-beens before him. Have you seen him in the ring? He’s nothing like he used to be! Taking time off to heal up really put a damper on his in-ring skills. Right now, he’s just in the spot he’s in because of his name. He’s one of those guys who can come back and reclaim his spot whenever he wants, which says a lot about what he’s done previously with his APW career. Problem is, now he’s an old dog. And if Jason Kash doesn’t, I have no problem putting Old Yeller to sleep!
Brewster: Well regardless, I still think you should air the skit. By contract, you have to, actually.
Dillinger: You signed a contract to air this shit?
Brewster: I told you I had some money-making ideas! You gave me the go-ahead!
Dillinger: This isn’t a money-making idea, Simon! This was a piss-poor attempt at being funny, which obviously was your genius! You’re really a piece of work, you know that? A fat, dumb piece of work. I’m starting to think that your mom should have swallowed.
Saddened by Chaz’s comment, Simon lowers his head in shame. Chaz chuckles, patting his friend on the shoulder.
Dillinger: You just don’t get it, Simon. Right now, we’re at war. We’re fighting against a very liberal wrestling business. Soon enough, we’re going to end up like the NBA! Liberal enough to allow our talent to attack fans, and then change their name to Meta World Peace! Would you take a champion like Jason Kash serious, if he changed his name to Meta World Peace?
Brewster: I don’t suppose so.
Dillinger: And much like it’s up to the Western Conference to make sure Meta World Peace doesn’t end up getting a chance for the championship, it’s my duty as a wrestling purist to make sure that Jason Kash’s reign ends on Sunday night!
Brewster: Come on, Chaz. The champ isn’t that bad! He’s nowhere near Ron Artest!
Dillinger: Not yet. But with every passing day that he’s World Heavyweight Champion, we get one day closer to the end of this business. The crowd, the shirts, the signs, they’re all a product of Jason Kash. These people buy into it, and he reaps the rewards. They don’t see it, but I do. You say I’m not inside his head? Well, in a way, I am. I know what he’s thinking, I know what he’s feeling. In his mind, he’s already won this match. It’s up to Chaz Dillinger, to prove him wrong.
Brewster: You’re back’s against the wall here.
Dillinger: I’m okay with the pressure.
Brewster: Your record as of late doesn’t back that up.
Dillinger: Minor setbacks, completely meaningless and completely irrelevant… Kind of like Johnny Knuckles.
Brewster: You really think so?
Dillinger: I know so! And what in the hell is this, an interrogation? Simon, my hunger to be the World Heavyweight Champion, surpasses anything that Jason Kash or Johnny Knuckles can bring to the table. Sunday night is MY time, and I’m not going to let the T.R.I. down. I could care less what Jason Kash has to say, and you can’t even understand Knuckles half the time. So the way I see it is, the stage has been set. And you’re right, I wouldn’t piss on either of them if they were on fire. They’re everything I hate, everything that this business SHOULDN’T stand for.
Chaz takes a brief pause, allowing Simon to soak up his words of wisdom.
Dillinger: Air your little skit, I don’t care. While I personally think it’s the lamest idea you’ve ever had or not, it doesn’t change the fact that Sunday night, I will leave as the World Heavyweight Champion. The skit doesn’t make the wrestler, it’s the ability and the heart that the man possesses. And no one wants to win that title more than I do. So gimmick your heart-attack ridden heart out, Simon. It’s not going to change anything. I’m still going to walk into Mayhem with a single goal, and I’m still going to walk out as the new APW World Heavyweight Champion. Everything I’ve done thus-far in this business, has all lead and prepared me for Sunday night. I’m ready, and you can bet your ass that I’m going to win it.
Brewster: And if you lose?
Chaz chuckles.
Dillinger: I just don’t see that happening…
The scene fades to black…
