A new film...sorry no new champion though.

["The Hottest Shit Going"]

JESUS films, and the Second Coming of Christ productions INC.

Partnering with Pixar animation...filmed in association with Dreamworks....and produced by...some dude good at annimation working at some studio, who really gives a fuck, the point is this animated film, oh heres the title.

For the lovers of the unreal, the imaginary, the people who dabble with on line fantasy games to escape the trials of farm life, dwell in the world of make believe to ease the pain of tater picking, true keyboard kings, oniline tough guy's......have we got a film for you.

[glow=red,2,300]TOY STORY 4 1/2[/glow]

Starring such superstars voices as

The classic Hurricane Jeff as himself

Lou Ferigno as the Hulk action figure

Ben Affleck as Michael Lively

Kenny Lambardo as the voice of all G.I .Joes

and Rainn Wilson as the voice of Potato head Ruby

Presented in HD...digital annimation...and sound quality brought to you by THX

all rights and trademarks used without permission...sue me I don't give two shits....

[glow=Blue,2,300]In the action figure aisle of a Toys R Us somewhere in America. It's after hours, the place is only lit by the emergency lighting through the large playhouse of children. Along the bottom row, where all the played out toys sit, the ones that don't bring major revenue, but are good for the occasional sell, sits the played out, rather washed up Potato head. The makers of this toy, have tried to bring it more mainstream, and renew it with the creative idea's like Opti-Mash Prime the transformer Potato head, Spider man versions, Darth Vader editions, and Old Mac Donald farmer versions. Now it's pretty ironic that a potato dressed as a potato farmer, but I'm no marketing expert. So on that shelf among the newer versions, this tattered old tater, Potato head Ruby sits lonely in his packaging, and has spent many years watching children come down this aisle, and pass him up time and time again, and his disappointment grows. At night this lonely tater breaks out of his packaging, like most toys in this store at night, and wonders the store, searching for friends and fun. For the past eight months this little tater has found refuge in the Barbie friend camp. The dolls, dress him up like little BO peep, and Little red ridding potato. No on a late night bender with the Barbie bunch, tired of the ridicule from the toy community, you see they all no this tater has no game, and although spending all that time with those hot dolls, he gets no play. This tater has had enough, and is on the prowl. The potato head farmer hops in a Unused Barbie Corvette, and drives around the store in search for something new.He then comes to the front of the store where most of the popular toys sit on display. This is a place the tater had only dreamed of, the spotlight, the front row, the main event of toys. This tater wanders out there among the Lego's, and Hot wheels, introducing himself to the other toys, some welcome him in, while other look down on him, they way of the world transcends into the Toy life as well. This tater notices a bundle of commotion, and does like any other curious potato would, and strolls over to catch a peek. There it stood, a larger then life toy APW titantron, with real sound effects entrance ramp. An APW ring, with full logos, and ring apron. Surrounding the ring.are plastic toy chairs, filled with G.I. Joes, super hero's like Green Lantern, and a historic piece of toy history, an old Hurricane Jeff toy, no bendable joints like the other new wrestlers, but still a classic non the less. The Hurricane Jeff toy stood close to the ring, and from the taters perspective, he was the man in charge. A plastic Tony Ferrari toy, stood in the middle of the ring. The Incredible Hulk toy stood outside the ring holding the APW real sound mic for children 4 and up.[/glow]

Hulk: Hulk love Wrestling

[glow=Blue,2,300]The mic picks up the voice of the toyed out Tony Ferrari, as he makes an introduction, [/glow]

"Weighing in at 9 ounces, and 12 inches tall, from Thailand, in a jungle located toy factory....He is Spider man!!"

[glow=Blue,2,300]Out from the entrance way walks Spider man, to the music playing from an Idog. Spider man hops over the ropes into the toy ring. Tony then announces another. [/glow]

"From a toy factory in China...weighing in at 10 ounces, standing at 12 and half inches tall, he is the Toys R Us store 746 Overdrive Champion....Michael Lively!!"

[glow=Blue,2,300]The toy figure of Michael Lively walks out from the toy titantron, wearing a plastic Overdrive championship. He unstraps the belt, holds it high showing it off for all the other toys. Lively enters the toy ring, and hands over is title. Spider man gears up, and the bell from a bicycle rings, and it's match on. Spider man and Lively lock up. Spider man is flipped on his back, with an arm drag. Spider jumps to his feet and is met by a flying knee, dropping the toy superhero. Lively then scales the top rope, and nails the Prelude, then pins....1....2.....3....Tony Ferrari announces the winner as Michael Lively. Lively snatches his plastic title from the ref, climbs the ropes and holds it in the air for all to see. The young potato head watches on in joy, for he must have found his calling. So like any inexperienced tater he goes on a training regiment. He makes it publicly known that he is set to join the world of toy wrestling. The classic Hurricane Jeff action figure catches wind, always on the scout for talent, and the next big thing. It has even been reported around the toy rumor mill, that Jeff is pushing to sign this tater to a contract. There has never been a man like a potato head to grace the toy ring ever. So night after night, potato head Ruby gets private training from some of the jobber wrestling toys that get knocked off the shelf, when young children are in search of real toy's like Tony Blackwell, Michael Lively, and Kenny Lambardo figures, the top sellers, you have all seen it. So these jobber toys like Gregory Helms, Kenny Dykstra, from the WWE selection, SharkBoy, Sonja Dutt from TNA toys, and APW's own jobber toys like ICEMAN, THK, and RAZOR all pitch in and help the tater tot how to wrestle. So after weeks of training, and a few dark matches in the preschool section of Toys R Us, potato head Ruby gets his day in the sun, classic Hurricane Jeff sign him to a contract for the Toys R Us store 746 APW territory, and gives him a shot at the Overdrive championship. The night has come, the whole toy store has shown up, and gathered around the toy ring setup for the nights event. All the toy legends and greats are in attendance for this match. See and Say, all the cast of a Lego greats...Batman, Indiana Jones, Sponge Bob. The action figure conglomerate is in attendance Fantastic Four, Avenger series, Hulk, Iron man, and such. The Star Wars toys are in attendance, along with Barbie, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, and a ton of stuffed animals. With a packed house the classic action figure of Hurricane Jeff smiles at thought of the huge draw he has pulled in. He then calls for the bell, and the plastic Tony Ferrari steps up to make the announcement for this evenings match up. Again mic'd up by the Hulk action figure holding a large Karaoke mic.[/glow]

Tony Ferrari: Ladies and Gentlemen, toys of all kinds...welcome...This match is brought to you by Jakks Pacific, Metal Toys (Thats right fuck Matell...Metal is where it's at....and thats was a cheap shout out for a vote), and most importantly Hurricane Jeff. It is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Overdrive Championship. First making his way from Mattel factories world wide. A legend in the toy world, and now tackling a new challenge. Weighing in at 4 ounces, standing 3 inches tall.....He's Round.....He's Starchy......He makes great fries......Potatohead RUBY!!!

[glow=Blue,2,300]Out struts the potato head Ruby, dressed in a singlet, that looks like it takes all it sorts of elastic to stay perched around the circular waist of the tater. He has his plastic wrestling shoes inserted, and his meanest eyes, with a classic mustache inserted over his lip. New to the APW Mayhem series is announcing staff Darren Harvey and Johhny Chase, with announcing table, set up ringside. [/glow]

Harvey: Wow this place is electric...

Chase: Yep lots of power toys here tonight, Duracell and Energizer, all in full effect.

Harvey: That spud has his mean face on, ready for war.

Chase: He has his plastic hands full tonight my friend, cause Michael Lively is game like Monopoly, and he loves that title.

[glow=Blue,2,300]Then the Ipod Idog begins the music of Lively. Eat you alive blares out as his little Idog head bobbles with the music. Two G.I. Joe figures hold up fiber optic light wands on either side of the ramp way, to add flash and flare of the toy set by APW. Lively enters the ramp way to the roar of the toys. Un like reality were Michael Lively is the most hated man in wrestling, In the toy world Lively is beloved, cause in the world of imagination not only can you be what ever you want, apparently you can win close to 1800 titles. The Lion walks out , he stops unstraps his belt, and two more G.I. Joes pop off toy confetti poppers sending a flash of confetti through the air. The classic Hurricane Jeff figure looks on with excitement and approval of his product. Lively enters the ring, out stretches his plastic arms within the scope of his movable joints, in a I am JESUS type pose. The toys scream for the champion. The bike bell is rung again.[/glow]

Chase: And we off in store 746.

[glow=Blue,2,300]The Spud moves in on Lively, and the two lock up. Lively shoves back, and potato head RUBY flails back wards. Lively is stunned in amazement, as in his grasp is both of Potato head RUBY's arms. The White Lion throws them out to the crowd of toys in attendance, and moves in on the armless tater. Tater head Ruby then scurries toward the Lion who leaps frogs over the round fellow, then Pele kicks the little pud in the head.[/glow]

Chase: Ruby is down...

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively goes for the pin, but the spud can't seem to stay level on his back, keeps rolling from side to side. Michael Lively stands in frustration, grab the foot of the tater, and off comes the shoes, of Ruby. Lively slams the shoes to the mat, stomps the tater, then ascends to the tops rope. Signals to the crowd, and then leaps out for the Prelude. In natural potato fashion Ruby rolls to safety, and Lively crashes and burns....[/glow]

STOP.........STOP.......CUT THIS BULLSHIT...............NOW....

[glow=Blue,2,300]The camera then shows the champion Michael Lively in the production truck. Belt on the console area, and Lively obviously furious at the outcome of his digital masterpiece. Looking at the producer of animation as the camera watches on, Lively speaks[/glow]

JESUS: What is this...things are going as planned, and then your throw this bullshit of the spud moving...you know that in the script I nail the Prelude, then simply bring a blow torch in and bake the shit out of this tater tot.

Producer: Well...uh..I thought the underdog...beating....

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively jumps out of his chair, grabbing the collar of the producer, and getting right in his face.[/glow]

JESUS: You were not hired for your thoughts, or your opinions, you were hired for your digital animation skills, I do the thinking, not you, this masterpiece is about me, to make Ruby look foolish, and put me over...

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively looks at the camera, tells him to turn away. Loud thuds, and banging, followed by a moan as, then the camera comes back to the view of Michael Lively, and then pans down to the floor where the producer sits unconscious. [/glow]

JESUS: Uh..huh...(fixing his shirt, and having a seat) now things don't go according to plan most of the time, but then again thats life. I'm sure it wasn't in any body's plan for me to pick up the Overdive title, and it wasn't in the plan of God for the JESUS to return to the earth as a foul mouthed, rude, crude, asshole of a human being, well things don't go as expected. This Sunday the fans, the challenger, and I'm sure the management are expecting me to loose this here title.

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively picks the belt up off of the console, places over his shoulder, then kicks back in the chair. [/glow]

JESUS: Well expect the unexpected, and thats what I'm all about pulling off the unexpected...beating people who no one thought I could beat, wining a title that quite frankly I was even imagined to win. The E-Star Jake Ruby...it's seems our little tater, let me get under his skin. My run in with a so called GOD, seemed to upset this young farmer, with what he called a make believe talk with god...yet him boasting and bragging about his make believe past. His skills are great, and honed. Thanks to wireless keyboards, spell check, and Microsoft office, some color additions, and a couple of font choices, and there you have the great, living legend that is the E-Star. Yes I have done my research, and on the wide world of the internet...he puts together some bullshit, third grade essay, posts it on some board, and probably checks back day in and day out to see just how many hits his masterpiece got. Then sits franticly waiting for the results of his match to get posted by some guy that runs an online fed, who possibly puts to much time and effort into keeping the thing running, he probably neglects the piece of ass that lives in his apartment, that some would call a girlfriend. Then it begins the reading of the results like a good book, waiting for the pay off, and in this twisted world, the E-Star was the man, over a thousand titles to his name, so he claims. Like I said thought a legend on the net, but in the real ring...a young, tater, not quite ready for the supper table...no sir...nothing worse then raw potatoes. Now again virtually Ruby's promo's were tight, crisp, and on target, but literally in APW lets us take a look at the creative genius that is the E-Star

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively then pushes play on the console next to him and the little screen then plays[/glow]

The camera comes in on Jake Ruby.

Jake: I don't have much to say, other than the following. NASCAR sucks. And Fyre Angel, you suck as much as driving a car in a circle. Why don't I have much to say? Because those two lines make a lot more sense than some of the things I heard this week. That is all. *Jake speaks to himself now* Gee, I guess this will put the old rule of quality over quantity to the test. Or is that just an e-fed thing?

The camera fades out.

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively then claps his hands as the video ends. [/glow]

JESUS: Well I have to hand to you Jake Ruby...an innovator you are. You have brought the art of cutting a promo to a whole new level with that one, and your in ring performance after that great display of on camera ability, oh thats right that tasty Fyre Angel beat you on that evening. So from a management standpoint, and creative point of view, if I were running a company...and someone came out layed out some brief bit of arrogance, they had better show me something in the ring. You though...dropped the ball, you on camera skills were proved there, and later that evening your in ring skills lived up to your promos. So that being said...I think firing your was a wise choice. You see that shit bag of a promo may have worked on the INTERNET, but not here kid. Here the real test is how you work in the ring, the promo factor is just added bonus for marketing, and as you can see the marketing of a potato is limited. You brought lots of excitement when you signed on here, but soon didn't live up to that hype, didn't make the cut, and were soon fired. Thanks to your begging, and a bucket full of taters, you now have you job back...and this evening the true Jake Ruby will be back on the JOB. Like Justin you will fall to the fury, and flash that is the White Lion. Those magic taters must do some wonderful trick to earn you a title shot, along with a second chance. Speaking of taters, when I bad mouth them you seem to get pissed. Well frankly I can't stand the fucking things, and in our match I'm going to treat you like we treated all potatoes where I'm from. Smash them down the barrel of a PVC pipe Potato gun. There was nothing better then sending a dirty, starchy tater, flying through the air, and smashing to little bits of hash browns. Up against me....I'm packing you in the RUBY cannon, igniting it, and send you flying back to the farm.

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively stands adjusting the belt on his shoulder, looking deep into the camera.[/glow]

JESUS: Smart ass talk may serve you well in a chat room, or on a message board, but here the talking gets real when you step face to face with your opponent. Sunday you step face to face with the JESUS. The Overdrive Champion, now try not to piss your self in the presence of the Savior, it will be ok...untill the bell rings...Then it's on. You are coming to take whats mine. I am the champ, and didn't earn this title, by skinning taters, making French fries, plowing fields, or posting the sickest role plays the E-Feding world has ever seen, no sir I stepped through the ropes, and beat one hell of a competitor to achieve the title of Overdrive Champion. I'm so comfortable as a champion, and embrace the fact that I am the target, the hunted. The hunt is on, and I'm your prey. Well this Lion is the king of the jungle, sitting under a tree, seeming to be relaxed, and unaware. The Lion is always ready, ready to pounce, and slice the hunter like shredded breakfast hash browns smashed on a plate next to eggs over easy. Ruby, truthfully you wouldn't receive a shot at this title if you went worthy, but being worthy and ready are two separate things all together. Ask yourself are your ready, ready to step out from behind the monitor, set down the keyboard, open that door, walk out into the sunlight. Oh I know it stings, the sun on that pale farmer skin, walk out from the realm of make believe, and joining the world of reality. When that bell rings, and I spit in your face, then maybe you will join us here. You 'll know that you are in a fight, and one for your life. Up to this point your life hasn't meant shit, being a dirty, pasty, pale, tater farmer from Idaho, who just happens to be the living legend on line, doesn't hold true credit, or bring much value. This Sunday if you do what you, and all the other JESUS haters feel you can achieve, then for once, your miserable life will have meaning, you will be a champion, the Overdrive Champion. Not yet though...you have to get through me. Jake Ruby you stated the fact that APW doesn't have a APW bred champion, well little man sorry to burst your bubble, but you are looking at him. My first title, it's here...it's this belt...and I have no plans on becoming the former champion. We will steal the show, we will bring the excitement, and offer things in our match that simply grow the business, not stifle it. Jake Ruby it's just another day at work for me, I"m walking in the champion, simply put I have the advantage...the burden is on you my friend. It's up to you to pin the JESUS...cause there will be no tapping out...not while this is on the line. So put on your best Osh Gosh B'Gosh overalls, lace up the farmer boots, and glove your hands up with those tater picking garden gloves. Walk that aisle, enter that ring, wait in anticipation for the greatest JESUS to ever walk the earth will soon enter the arena. As you stare down the rampway...looking at the Hottest Shit Going...the Savior of Wrestling...think to yourself...can I do it...was he right...then little tater tot just close your eyes... for the first time in your pathetic history embrace the reality...the reality is I am the second coming of christ....the JESUS.......then Ruby Red..say your prayers...cause the JESUS is listening...and I am waiting to piss on your dreams.

[glow=Blue,2,300]Lively then spits on the downed producer, walks out of the production room, slams the door shut behind him, the camera then pans down looking at the injured man with a wad of spit on his head....then a disclaimer came across the screen....[/glow]

The APW would like to apologize for the comments of Michael Lively...in No way do they represent the feelings of APW..it's Staff, Management, or Owners.