Post by Reaver on Jun 16, 2012 18:04:42 GMT -4
The scene opens up at a distance view of the George Washington Bridge. Panning from right to left, the camera captures a view of New York City, but more particularly; Manhattan. The hustle and bustle of city life is business as usual as the camera continues to pan backwards leaving “York” at a distance until it's nothing more than a common back round. A galloping is heard in the near distance as a horse lets out a huge grunt, (or whatever the hell horses do) and the gallops get closer.
Finally, a man on a horse makes his way on camera......
With his face all painted in blue, a plaid sash, covered in dirt, and wearing a plaid skirt.....(i think its called a kilt you jackass), Johnny Knuckles finds time to learn how to ride a horse since he has never ridden one before in his life and makes his way to the front and center section of a very “lively” group of individuals looking to defend their freedom. Knuckles unsheathes a long sword and hold it high in the air as if his life depended upon it.
Knuckles: Sons of Scotland........It is AYE!! JOHNNY WALLACE!!
The sound of cheers can be heard. The camera pans around at the “lively” group of individuals only to find about 100 or so upside down broom sticks sticking out of the ground with cardboard weapons such as swords, axes, and even pichforks. The cheers continues as it's now obvious that they came from a tapped recording from earlier as the camera pans back to “Johnny Wallace”.
Knuckles: I kill men by the hundreds......and if Phil Atken were here, he'd consume the the “Atkens” with fireballs from his eyes and lightnin' bolts from his arse.
He would face the evils of “Atken Land” and preserve the rights of......ATKEN! His voice is loud cuz' his stick is very small if ya' get what i'm sayin'. He wouldn't brag about anythin' since he has nothin' to brag about.
I AM Johnny Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free........pieces of wood, and free wood ya' are! What will you do with that freedom? Will ya' fight?
The camera pans over at the “lively” army just wafting there in the gentle New York City breeze as one just randomly falls over. The camera pans back to “Wallace”.
Knuckles: Sure I might look like a guy who is racist against the Jews but he I am not. Sure I have blue make up on like somebody from the blue-man group, but I sit here high amongst ya' ridin' on this over grown jackarse.....chewin' on a stick of jerky.......(HA I snuck it in) but I fight fer' freedom. Sure i'm wearin' a plaid skirt and would be the twinkle in the eyes of any pedophile who has a fetish for little school girls.....but I fight anyways. I take this Test For The Best tournament serously and anybody who says otherwise if just foolin' themselves.
GO HOME AND WATCH A MEL GIBSON MOVIE YA' BLOODY BRIGEND.....
Fight......and you may die. Run and you may live.....at least a while. Dying in yer' beds that are made of you many years from now. Kindlin' you would be if ya' didn't post up and fight back here and now. Would you be willin' ALL the days from this day to that for one chance.....
Just one chance.....
to come back here and tell your enemies; that they may take our lives.......
but they will never take......OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!
The camera pans over as a few more broomsticks fall over in the breeze as “Wallace” gets off his high horse and runs through them knocking some of the remainder over for shits and giggles swinging his giant claymore around as if he was bloody Mel Gibson or something. He throws the sword high into the air and as the camera follows it, it eventually lands blade first into the ground.....just like in the movie.
(Imagine the image of the Brave heart sword in the ground here...IMAGINE DAMN YOU!!!!!)
Knuckles or “Wallace” if you will, confronts the camera still wearing his plaid “kilt” while it flaps in the breeze and blue man group makeup.
Knuckles: I tried Phil, I really did. I tried to be nice and show ya' some respect but ya' didn't wanna' take the hint and just back off. Now it's time I fuck yerr' shit up.
Am I supposed to be afraid of you Atken? Am I supposed to run and hide because you have a gaggle of geese backin' you up? I guess this is why they call you “The Voice” of APW cuz' you do nuttn' but talk out of your ass like Ace Ventura.
NO!! You cannot “ASS” me a few questions you CHODE!!
Talk shit elsewhere you skirt wearin' drag princess. Not even enough to be called a queen either, how pathetic. This is why ya' haven't accomplished anythin' Phil. You depend too much upon the likes of your lackey's then doin' it yourself. Unlike you, i've fought tooth and nail for everythin' I got; and I did it all on my own. Not with the helpin' hands of the three stooges you call friends. Take your poor man's entourage and schedule a circle jerk someplace else cuz' I came here to win.
Knuckles walks over to the fallen broomsticks and kicks them around for a moment staring at the camera. He stomps around a bit then walks back.
Knuckles: You think you're walkin' out of Asylum one step closer to winnin' Test For The Best? What fuckin' dream did YOU wake up from? Whatever drugs you're takin'; share that shit cuz' if I were ever to share that same delusion as you, then people would be callin' me Branden Harvey. I know it's a lot but come off that “HIGH” horse or donkey or whatever it is you like to ride and come back to reality PLEASE!? I wanna' be able to say that I smashed your fuckin' face in while you were sane AND sober. I think they arrest people like me for kickin' the shit out of the mentally handicap and I can't afford to go to jail since I have a tournament to win.
You are right though Phil....
Knuckles takes his hands and wipes off the blue paint and shows it to the camera.
Knuckles: This IS war. A war for survival in which you have no experience at. Surviving a war isn't in your fortei Atken, it just isn't your thing. The reason ya' havne't been pushed is cuz' you just simply aint' good enough to hang, you have no heart. You've avoided the big names the best ya' could and now it's come back to bite ya' in the “ARSE” right? They stuck you in a division where only the weak survive and you barely managed to make it this far.
Knuckles rips off the “kilt” he was wearing, (I hope he has on shorts.....) throws it on the ground and runs off camera. He quickly comes back with a giant paper banner that reads:
Knuckles rips the banner up and throws that on top of the downed “kilt”.
Knuckles: Now you're here and in my way. Go ahead and bring the “entourage” Phil. Bring the rest of the Scottish Army while you're at it because it won't do ya' any good. I fight to hurt, I fight to mame, I fight to kill. The second you step through those ropes, i'll be there to rip you limb from bloody limb and there's no amount of face paint that will save you.
I'm really glad you brought up the interview we had a while back Phil. Ever since that day, i've wanted to kick your balls up into your throat just so u can finally get a taste of what it's like to be a man. Since “The Voice” can't get the facts straight, allow me to contribute......
AGAIN, I never asked for a rematch, it was given to me cuz' Kash wanted to stroke himself for the millionth time over the span of 6 years. He wanted to take away from me, the one win I had over him cuz' he knows that he could never get back the RWF National Championship that I rightfully earned. To his dismay, he STILL has yet to realize that the past doesn't matter and he will NEVER take that win away from me; no matter how hard he ejaculates at the thought. That's why I had a problem with your line of bullshit questioning. I tried to spell it out for you but aparently ya' didn't have your sesame street see and say on hand at the time.
Just like Kash; you need to get over yourself Phil. This isn't The United States of Phil Atken, or Atken Land, or Atken-slovania, or Atken-stan. This isn't Action Packed Atken. This is Asylum, This is APW, this is where the violence is brought and if you can't see the blood plainly in front of you, then ya' need to overdose on sleepin' pills and get the fuck out of my way.
I don't stroke people, I speak the truth. I don't need anythin' handed to me cuz' i'm a man and I earn my own way. I'll gladly beg the board of directors to throw me at the bottom of the ranks just so I can fight my way back up. I guess they did that already since they put me up against the likes of you right? Unlike YOU though, I don't beg Reginald for title shots or matches. Just like I learned as a child, I eat what's put in front of me and I like it or starve without. With you Phil, i'll gladly eat what APW has put in front of me and like it. I'm a million times hungrier than you and once i'm done finishing you off my plate, i'll enjoy a nice slice of humble pie on my way to the next round of Test For The Best.
Knuckles walks over to the giant claymore sword that was stuck in the ground and swaying in the breeze. He stares at the camera briefly, takes off his plaid sash and hangs it on the handle leaving it to slowly waft. Knuckles walks away leaving the camera staring at the sash as it blows away into the short distance and the scene fades.
Disclaimer: There were no actual brooms harmed in the making of this promo. I CAN however mention that the horse was later turned into dog food and glue.
Finally, a man on a horse makes his way on camera......
With his face all painted in blue, a plaid sash, covered in dirt, and wearing a plaid skirt.....(i think its called a kilt you jackass), Johnny Knuckles finds time to learn how to ride a horse since he has never ridden one before in his life and makes his way to the front and center section of a very “lively” group of individuals looking to defend their freedom. Knuckles unsheathes a long sword and hold it high in the air as if his life depended upon it.
Knuckles: Sons of Scotland........It is AYE!! JOHNNY WALLACE!!
The sound of cheers can be heard. The camera pans around at the “lively” group of individuals only to find about 100 or so upside down broom sticks sticking out of the ground with cardboard weapons such as swords, axes, and even pichforks. The cheers continues as it's now obvious that they came from a tapped recording from earlier as the camera pans back to “Johnny Wallace”.
Knuckles: I kill men by the hundreds......and if Phil Atken were here, he'd consume the the “Atkens” with fireballs from his eyes and lightnin' bolts from his arse.
He would face the evils of “Atken Land” and preserve the rights of......ATKEN! His voice is loud cuz' his stick is very small if ya' get what i'm sayin'. He wouldn't brag about anythin' since he has nothin' to brag about.
I AM Johnny Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free........pieces of wood, and free wood ya' are! What will you do with that freedom? Will ya' fight?
The camera pans over at the “lively” army just wafting there in the gentle New York City breeze as one just randomly falls over. The camera pans back to “Wallace”.
Knuckles: Sure I might look like a guy who is racist against the Jews but he I am not. Sure I have blue make up on like somebody from the blue-man group, but I sit here high amongst ya' ridin' on this over grown jackarse.....chewin' on a stick of jerky.......(HA I snuck it in) but I fight fer' freedom. Sure i'm wearin' a plaid skirt and would be the twinkle in the eyes of any pedophile who has a fetish for little school girls.....but I fight anyways. I take this Test For The Best tournament serously and anybody who says otherwise if just foolin' themselves.
GO HOME AND WATCH A MEL GIBSON MOVIE YA' BLOODY BRIGEND.....
Fight......and you may die. Run and you may live.....at least a while. Dying in yer' beds that are made of you many years from now. Kindlin' you would be if ya' didn't post up and fight back here and now. Would you be willin' ALL the days from this day to that for one chance.....
Just one chance.....
to come back here and tell your enemies; that they may take our lives.......
but they will never take......OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!
ALBA GU BRA'TH!!!
The camera pans over as a few more broomsticks fall over in the breeze as “Wallace” gets off his high horse and runs through them knocking some of the remainder over for shits and giggles swinging his giant claymore around as if he was bloody Mel Gibson or something. He throws the sword high into the air and as the camera follows it, it eventually lands blade first into the ground.....just like in the movie.
(Imagine the image of the Brave heart sword in the ground here...IMAGINE DAMN YOU!!!!!)
Knuckles or “Wallace” if you will, confronts the camera still wearing his plaid “kilt” while it flaps in the breeze and blue man group makeup.
Knuckles: I tried Phil, I really did. I tried to be nice and show ya' some respect but ya' didn't wanna' take the hint and just back off. Now it's time I fuck yerr' shit up.
Am I supposed to be afraid of you Atken? Am I supposed to run and hide because you have a gaggle of geese backin' you up? I guess this is why they call you “The Voice” of APW cuz' you do nuttn' but talk out of your ass like Ace Ventura.
NO!! You cannot “ASS” me a few questions you CHODE!!
Talk shit elsewhere you skirt wearin' drag princess. Not even enough to be called a queen either, how pathetic. This is why ya' haven't accomplished anythin' Phil. You depend too much upon the likes of your lackey's then doin' it yourself. Unlike you, i've fought tooth and nail for everythin' I got; and I did it all on my own. Not with the helpin' hands of the three stooges you call friends. Take your poor man's entourage and schedule a circle jerk someplace else cuz' I came here to win.
Knuckles walks over to the fallen broomsticks and kicks them around for a moment staring at the camera. He stomps around a bit then walks back.
Knuckles: You think you're walkin' out of Asylum one step closer to winnin' Test For The Best? What fuckin' dream did YOU wake up from? Whatever drugs you're takin'; share that shit cuz' if I were ever to share that same delusion as you, then people would be callin' me Branden Harvey. I know it's a lot but come off that “HIGH” horse or donkey or whatever it is you like to ride and come back to reality PLEASE!? I wanna' be able to say that I smashed your fuckin' face in while you were sane AND sober. I think they arrest people like me for kickin' the shit out of the mentally handicap and I can't afford to go to jail since I have a tournament to win.
You are right though Phil....
Knuckles takes his hands and wipes off the blue paint and shows it to the camera.
Knuckles: This IS war. A war for survival in which you have no experience at. Surviving a war isn't in your fortei Atken, it just isn't your thing. The reason ya' havne't been pushed is cuz' you just simply aint' good enough to hang, you have no heart. You've avoided the big names the best ya' could and now it's come back to bite ya' in the “ARSE” right? They stuck you in a division where only the weak survive and you barely managed to make it this far.
Knuckles rips off the “kilt” he was wearing, (I hope he has on shorts.....) throws it on the ground and runs off camera. He quickly comes back with a giant paper banner that reads:
Achievement Unlocked:
the “I WAS THERE....” award.
[/center][/color]the “I WAS THERE....” award.
Knuckles rips the banner up and throws that on top of the downed “kilt”.
Knuckles: Now you're here and in my way. Go ahead and bring the “entourage” Phil. Bring the rest of the Scottish Army while you're at it because it won't do ya' any good. I fight to hurt, I fight to mame, I fight to kill. The second you step through those ropes, i'll be there to rip you limb from bloody limb and there's no amount of face paint that will save you.
I'm really glad you brought up the interview we had a while back Phil. Ever since that day, i've wanted to kick your balls up into your throat just so u can finally get a taste of what it's like to be a man. Since “The Voice” can't get the facts straight, allow me to contribute......
AGAIN, I never asked for a rematch, it was given to me cuz' Kash wanted to stroke himself for the millionth time over the span of 6 years. He wanted to take away from me, the one win I had over him cuz' he knows that he could never get back the RWF National Championship that I rightfully earned. To his dismay, he STILL has yet to realize that the past doesn't matter and he will NEVER take that win away from me; no matter how hard he ejaculates at the thought. That's why I had a problem with your line of bullshit questioning. I tried to spell it out for you but aparently ya' didn't have your sesame street see and say on hand at the time.
Just like Kash; you need to get over yourself Phil. This isn't The United States of Phil Atken, or Atken Land, or Atken-slovania, or Atken-stan. This isn't Action Packed Atken. This is Asylum, This is APW, this is where the violence is brought and if you can't see the blood plainly in front of you, then ya' need to overdose on sleepin' pills and get the fuck out of my way.
I don't stroke people, I speak the truth. I don't need anythin' handed to me cuz' i'm a man and I earn my own way. I'll gladly beg the board of directors to throw me at the bottom of the ranks just so I can fight my way back up. I guess they did that already since they put me up against the likes of you right? Unlike YOU though, I don't beg Reginald for title shots or matches. Just like I learned as a child, I eat what's put in front of me and I like it or starve without. With you Phil, i'll gladly eat what APW has put in front of me and like it. I'm a million times hungrier than you and once i'm done finishing you off my plate, i'll enjoy a nice slice of humble pie on my way to the next round of Test For The Best.
Knuckles walks over to the giant claymore sword that was stuck in the ground and swaying in the breeze. He stares at the camera briefly, takes off his plaid sash and hangs it on the handle leaving it to slowly waft. Knuckles walks away leaving the camera staring at the sash as it blows away into the short distance and the scene fades.
Disclaimer: There were no actual brooms harmed in the making of this promo. I CAN however mention that the horse was later turned into dog food and glue.
