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Post by Calvin Ingram on Jun 17, 2012 2:58:49 GMT -4
Pride,Honor & Respect:The Crusade
Looking for feedback on the 2nd rp of two,I really want this looked at as I tried mixing scenes up with the Prologue,Diary entry & Closer.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Jun 17, 2012 4:17:27 GMT -4
The first two sections to me seem more quoted with editing than something written. Maybe it's just me. I love the layout of your promos now and I like the new look on the character. I think the move to Asylum really brought new light to your character and the writing. I'm glad you came over and soon you can see big things I'm sure.
The rp itself seems preachy but I think that's the character so it fits. I feel kind of how Kash would feel in the sense that I want to stomp you in the throat because it feels like you're yelling at me or talking at me very aggressive so it's working for the person you're trying to portray. Plus on that for sure. A bit spaced but people do that I suppose, makes the rp look longer but also weakened, again at least to me.
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