Meltdown 6/18 Feedback Thread

[Johnny Rebel]

Show is in the books, folks. I don't think I left anything out but I'm not confident this week.

I deeply apologize for the delay in the results. That's the reality of this game that we play: sometimes real life gets in the way. I hope you enjoyed them and the hard work of many paid off!

Thanks to TJ, Slade, Steve Stryler, Jules and Envi for writing matches this week. You guys are what makes Meltdown go-round and I'm appreciative of your efforts each week!

Thanks to Yarmouth, Steve Stryker, Cameron Wolves, Michael Lively, Evan Envi and Shadow for sending in segments. A segment gives you an additional point in the Top 25 Most Wanted that Jeff puts out monthly.

As always: feedback isn't only welcome but encouraged. Including negative feedback if it is applicable. I want the folks on Meltdown to improve and I'm trying to become a better GM as the show goes on. Thanks all!

[Evan De Parker]

I'd like to personally apologize for the delay. My schedule was much different today than usual and the multi-tasking caught up to me, but if I can help it this won't happen again.

Also, I wanna apologize for my coding error in the results. I forgot to end the italics behind J-Hop's entrance, so a good chunk of the entrances looks funky... Just a note for Rebel to go back and edit when he gets a free chance.

I'll give a full review in the morning. Good job errrrbody.

[Johnny Rebel]

Fixed!

[Evan De Parker]

^ what a champ

[biggs]

I'll say this much, other than Envi's comment about nobody believing in Jesus, I love the Evan Envi character, and I always like it when the heels get a hero's welcome. Envi carries himself like the self-important heel champion should, and I think as soon as he drops that North American Title, which may be a while, he's getting called up to either Overdrive or Asylum. That being said, if Evan Envi versus Michael Lively does not happen at Shockwave, there's no justice in the world!

[Shane Borderland]

Great show everybody, no wonder i came back to APW. Great work to everyone that chipped in and helped with everything. Congrats to all the winners, and congrats to my opponent!

[Slade "The Main Man" Craven]

Well I guess I will speak up because whoever wrote the opening match, they did very well to capture the ruthless pent up agression Shadow seemd to be suffering from. I guess I should put out. I do appreciate it thank you very much. I liked seeing Shadow stomp some ass. Thank you also all for the indirect positive feedback.

There were alot of no shows this week. Major buzzkill. Sorry you had it too TJ.

Third match I like both competitors work. El Insecto de Negro is an interesting gimmick, entertaining. He reminds me of Santino. I like that. Dita, I know she can put out better work, I only hope her schedule clears up soon to help pull her out of the slump.

Good to see Lively back. He is a excellent worker and its good to see him delivering again. Too bad his opponent had to quit

Main event was good and solid. Nice build of a show with a solid finish. The roleplayers who posted are all good writers. Their work is what is helping mold Meltdown into the top brand that it will become for APW.

Sorry I dont have more, Its been awhile since I reviewed a show.

[The Soul Of Philly]

Ya know, i let it bog me down until about Saturday night when I realized I didn't have to trash talk at all, just build my character up a bit

I skimmed through it to see who won what and what not, but congrats to Steve. and Holy hell Yarmouth destroying everyone, looks like TJ is gonna have to take it a step further.

[The Hitman]

Another great week on Meltdown. Glad to see plenty of segments this week. I was hoping that everyone from the Main Event would have at least one to add to the build up. Almost like how each person is revving up for the match.

If I'm going heavy on being a heel with the fans please someone advise. This is my first foray into being a heel character so I know I might be overbearing with it.

Great job getting the show up and going Rebel, another great week. Glad I could help out with matches and segments and real glad to come away with the victory.

I'll be sure to do Meltdown proud at the Test for the Best, show the big boys just what's coming for them from here.

Also, I hope I did Lively some justice with his match. With Anselm quitting I made it pretty heavy in his favor.

[Jules]

I owe Meltdown some feedback, so here goes.

- Good intro, really hyping T4TB and tonight's main event; glad that Borderland got a plug, him being on Meltdown should be made out to be a big deal (as with the other returning stars).

- Elimination match. For a squash match the opener was pretty decent. I'm glad Shadow was made to look pretty badass and the triple pin was a good finish. Tsk, tsk on those who promised so much and delivered little (or nothing in this case). I know RL gets in the way, but it takes 10 minutes to throw out 500 words to ensure you 'show' and do respect to your opponent and those putting the show together. Unless there has been some serious jeopardy in your life, there is no excuse for a no-show.

- Yarmouth's segment. Nice hype piece, although Hannah Storm needs to stop sucking Tmarv's ding-a-ling and do her research. I thought the Battle Royal was for a T4TB best place. Selling Evan Envi was a nice touch because one assumes he is on commentary for a reason. There were some issues with spelling and grammar, but I'm not the perfect editor so I'll leave it at that. At first I wasn't sure about this interview being on the ramp, but with the crowd reactions I think i kind of worked. It is meant to be a live show after all with an audience, so it's good to see an interview that is directed at engaging them.

- A squash victory for TJ courtesy of another no-show. But a nice write-up for TJ, showing off all his spots, which really what a squash match is all about. Kiz fired afterwards, well that wasn't the biggest surprise of the night. The boot afterwards was a nice spot too.

- I'm glad Stryker didn't beat the kid up, but a nice little piece consolidating The Hitman's heel persona.

- Wolves segment. It was good for what it was. There is something about the insult 'assclown' that irks me, but that's a mere subjective point. It was a good heel promo, setting his sights high, but also alluding to the fact there is unfinished business with Horowitz. I liked at the start that the narration referred to a luke warm reaction because Wolves is new that makes sense, but later on the crowd ignoring Wolves killed any heat the segment may have drawn. If this was intended to establish Wolves' heel status I would have thrown some stuff out that started to draw some heat from the crowd. Instead Wolves gave himself the Lord Tensai treatment from the crowd, and to me it had the opposite of effect of building him up. I'm not saying the crowd should be all over him at the end, but when you tell me the crowd are disinterested, then I have to ask myself in turn, why should I be interested?

- Dita/Insecto. So the guy with the best name in APW has a debut win. Solid write-up with a nice high energy back and forth feel. Commentary was a bit bland, could have sold the action a bit more enthusiastically, but all in a decent match.

- Lively/Envi. Seriously good segment, probably the best we've seen on Meltdown. Two really strong personalities, both with not so dissimilar agendas. I loved the interaction between the two, I expect more fireworks in the future. I enjoyed the crowd interaction, and I'm with Biggs in that I can see why the fans would be behind Envi. I'm interested to see how Lively's attitude to Envi develops as Envi proves to be a threat to him; Lively burying Envi at times works somewhat here because of who Lively is and his persona, but if Envi starts getting the rub on him, smirking and dismissing him wouldn't go over terribly well. But without doubt the best thing I've read on Meltdown yet.

- Stryker. I don't understand why there needed to be two separate segments in the show. They could have been combined to make one: the first part the kid pisses off Stryker, then just when he thinks he's gonna get some peace along comes Hannah Storm. Continues the hype for the main event though. Solid.

- Squash for Lively. Does what is says on the tin.

- Yarmouth/Royce. I admit I haven't been following this one, but a good segment that hypes next week's show with a big match announcement.

- Wolves/Borderland. I hope you guys liked it.

- Horowitz/Shadow. Looks to me like a 'sowing the seed' type segment.

- Envi up to some sort of trick pre-main event. Nice, now I'm definitely anticipating something in the ME.

- ME. Really enjoyed this. Yarmouth went over really well, and he seems to have that Kane in his pomp sort of deal going on, dominating these types of matches but always coming up short. I'm glad Envi's purpose in the match was fulfilled, and done well. I liked the angle of him trying to use Yarmouth to do some his dirty work, and it then backfiring. A bit of a volte face with Envi going from way over fan favourite in Lively segment to the most hateful heel in the finish.

- With 9 players in T4TB I'm really quite curious about how it will all work.

- Overall, a really good show. I didn't read in full last week's show, but this is probably my favourite Meltdown so far. There are half a dozen well established personalities that are really making it a success. Well done and good job all-round.

*

As an aside....

- One thing I've been curious about. When Meltdown was announced it was said the NA Title would be defended on every show. What happened there? I thought that was the USP of that title and Meltdown was...a guaranteed title match every week. Plus, when it comes to the boost, that is great ammunition for someone to use "I was the champ for x amount of weeks, putting it on the line every week". It also means there is that competitive edge every single week. Obviously, the plan on that one changed, but I thought I'd just throw that out there anyway.

[The Hitman]

Yeah, that was on me, submitting two different segments. I kind of saw it different in my head, I understand what you're saying though. I wanted it to be that everyone saw Stryker dealing with his issues throughout the night before his match.

Also, I just wanted more face time. ; )

[yarmouth1]

I would all so like to apologise for putting myself forward to write a match and then in the end not having enough time in the week to do it, I'm so to Rebel and hope it didn't put two much pressure on him to get the show out.

As for the show all the matches and segments were great but I loved the main event not cos I was in it and dominated for most parts and at the end but the way it was written codes to the writer of that match.

Great show wants again and well done to all involved.

[The Soul Of Philly]

Time for the feedback!

- Great opening match in terms of a squash, I get this sense that Shadow just let loose a ton of anger and frustration on three people. I echo the statements from Jules, although the sad part about it is two members are guys who are active OOC, one of which has two characters. It may not be my place, but that's one of the worst things in a place when someone pulls double duty on two different brands and doesn't show up on the one.

- Let me get this out of the way first, I'm a stickler for grammar, especially in segments on a show, and the Yarmouth segment had quite a few in the very beginning: run-on sentences, no apostrophes in contractions, a compound word being split into two words, "I" not being capitalized, words being capitalized when they don't need to be.

All that said, content wise, this was a good segment, hyping up the main event and breaking down his opponents. My only thing I would have said a little bit more about some of them and reiterate why you are going to win the match. Yarmouth is a big fucker, stronger than most of the roster, say he's gonna win because he could eliminate everyone at once, but because he could do that, he's gonna get the most focus and everyone is gonna be gunning to get him out of the ring ASAP and say you look forward to that challenge

- My match that I wrote, I wanted to get more in, but knowing that Kiz wasn't gonna show, I decided put it off til 30 minutes before the deadline. I loved the bit that Rebel put on after with the firing and the commentary.

- Loved the Stryker segment that followed, felt like an asshole and I now really hate the character because he doesn't do autographs!

- Wow, another segment that I enjoyed reading. The thing that put this over the top for me, is that the crowd didn't pay attention to him. Thats the one thing I like when someone with a character that is just starting out, don't have the crowd like or dislike him right away. Make it slow, make them hate you for a reason other than you call them assclowns. I also like how you distinguished yourself as a wrestler.

- Great match between Dita and EIDN, two quick wrestlers both used perfectly.

- Ok, I like to walk the line between kayfabe and breaking kayfabe, but going out and saying, "you deserve to boo a REAL heel" just doesn't feel right to me. I mean, as far as I'm know, we're working with a 80/20 crowd in terms of marks/smarks maybe something lie "You deserve to boo someone truly worthy of being booed" would get the same message. Aside from that, I love this character as heel. I liked Envi's "its 2012 and no one believes in you" line. Like Jules said, the burying worked with the fact that Evan's legacy is just getting started and Lively has a large history, but on the same token, Lively didn't get back on Overdrive or Asylum with his return, he got put on Meltdown, Envi's show, which, I'm happy Evan put in the segment. Like Biggs said, I'm excited for Shockwave if Evan and Lively go at it.

- Eh, not as strong of a segment from Stryker as his other one, but it hyped the main event, so served it's purpose.

- Another Squash, what is this? Monday Night Raw? Haha kidding. Not bad, showed a bit of Lively in his first match back.

- Another Yarmouth segment, to hype a match next week, nice something to look forward to already. Although, question, isn't Yarmouth from New York? And he's saying, "I wanna kick your bloody head in."? Did he go to a school in England as a kid? Also, more grammatical errors "for got" "for ever" both one words turned into two words.

- Nice match between Wolves and Shane, good back and forth and solid commentary. Loved alot of the spots in the match, especially the chair sandwich.

- Nice bit between Shadow and Benny about Dita, feel as if Benny was just telling Shadow what he wanted to hear.

- Like I said, great ME, holy Yarmouth, Batman. Although, I didn't notice this when I read the ME last night, Evan's intro for Yarmouth was great put over the big guy, the guy he beat for the match, felt kinda backhanded a bit too, which works for Evan.

Overall a great show, some things, if possible, those who send in segments and what not, if something like Storm getting attacked the week before, try to sell that when she interviews your character the following week. Have her look in pain throughout the interview, I mean sure it was only a Pele Kick, but she's not a trained wrestler.

Another thing, the end of the Lively/Evan segment was only split up from the match by one segment, I would maybe put another segment in or put in the commentary that Lively was going to wrestle when he came out, but after being thrown off-focus by Evan, he wanted to refocus on his match, something along those lines.

[yarmouth1]

Yeah sorry about that soul, that's my dyslexia coming into play and yeah Yarmouth was brought up in the UK and moved over to America when he was a kid will put that into a role play this week just to clear things up a bit.

[The Soul Of Philly]

Its cool man, its mostly my OCD about that shit. Been drilled by like 4 english teachers in the family about grammar. Had a joke in HS that when someone said you're as in "You're an idiot" someone would say "your"just to piss me off.

[Jules]

Jun 20, 2012 7:31:05 GMT -4 The Soul Of Philly said:

Its cool man, its mostly my OCD about that shit. Been drilled by like 4 english teachers in the family about grammar. Had a joke in HS that when someone said you're as in "You're an idiot" someone would say "your"just to piss me off.

I used to teach and that irritated me the most part

'theirs' and 'they're'
'yours' and 'you're'
'were' and 'where'
'it's' and 'its'
'being' and 'been'
shortening 'because' to 'cause'

and much more. I used to hate correcting that stuff, especially when the kids did it over and over again. I tell you, these English teachers have a lot to answer for. ;D

[Kevin Dahlia]

Jun 19, 2012 8:47:39 GMT -4 Jules said:

- Wolves segment. It was good for what it was. There is something about the insult 'assclown' that irks me, but that's a mere subjective point. It was a good heel promo, setting his sights high, but also alluding to the fact there is unfinished business with Horowitz. I liked at the start that the narration referred to a luke warm reaction because Wolves is new that makes sense, but later on the crowd ignoring Wolves killed any heat the segment may have drawn. If this was intended to establish Wolves' heel status I would have thrown some stuff out that started to draw some heat from the crowd. Instead Wolves gave himself the Lord Tensai treatment from the crowd, and to me it had the opposite of effect of building him up. I'm not saying the crowd should be all over him at the end, but when you tell me the crowd are disinterested, then I have to ask myself in turn, why should I be interested?

The feel I was going for with this wasn't so much that the fans don't like Wolves, but more to the fact that he is still a fairly new member of the APW. Realistically, he wouldn't be known or recognized by a good portion of the crowd, especially when he was coming off of two weeks of tying matches, this early in. He's new, why should the crowd give a shit if he is talking smack and making large claims in his goals? What has he/I done to prove it?

I was just trying to give my character a fair, realistic segment. As it was the first he has done. Even in my promos/trash talking in my RP', I have made a point to have Cameron never actually show up to anything APW official. Videos he records and puts on youtube, a misc blog entry, etc. Sorry if it detracted from itself and sorry for the two paragraphs, I just wanted to justify why I wrote it as I did. haha. And thank you for the feedback on it!

Jun 19, 2012 8:47:39 GMT -4 Jules said:

- One thing I've been curious about. When Meltdown was announced it was said the NA Title would be defended on every show. What happened there? I thought that was the USP of that title and Meltdown was...a guaranteed title match every week. Plus, when it comes to the boost, that is great ammunition for someone to use "I was the champ for x amount of weeks, putting it on the line every week". It also means there is that competitive edge every single week. Obviously, the plan on that one changed, but I thought I'd just throw that out there anyway.

I'm newer here, and uh.... someone want to divulge a bit deeper into this? I'm fairly intrigued.


The show was really well done this week. I honestly believe that the commentators are my favourite part of the results, every week. Not sure why, but I am just always drawn to what they have to say.

I loved the amount of segments that got sent in. It really gives a more active feel to the show when people are going out of there way to add to the content. I concur with Envi/Lively being the best segment. I loved seeing a Hall of Famer interact with the current face of the show.

I found a lot of use from the phrase "putting x on notice". No qualms. Just something I took note to. haha.

ME was written rather spectacularly. I skimmed over most matches, but not this one. Stupendous job. Great spots. Suspense. Everything you need for this battle royal type situation, with so much on the line. BIG congrats to Stryker. Hard match to conquer. Represent us on Meltdown well at TFTB!

Whoever it was that wrote my match-up vs Borderland, you did aa spectacular job. I Loved the back and forth between what could have been a match ending move, everytime.

All in all, great show!

[Jules]

Jun 20, 2012 10:04:11 GMT -4 Kevin Dahlia said:

I found a lot of use from the phrase "putting x on notice". No qualms. Just something I took note to. haha.

This is an interesting point. I know I used it in the match I wrote, but I think it's a good thing in terms of continuity. Maybe, if someone could be bothered to do it, there could be a set of stock or favourite phrases that each comm has (would only need to be 2-3 max for each comm on each show). We see this in real wrestling shows where the comms have their own phrases or use certain cliches/tropes.

This could be attached to the writing guide, it may help people to write comms in matches, as well as giving the show some continuity.

Just a thought.

[The Hitman]

Is there another Meltdown before TftB or should I start prepping myself for the tournament now?

[Kevin Dahlia]

Rebel said somewhere that the card for this Meltdown would be up a tad later than usual, so yes, there is another Meltdown.