Post by Reaver on Jun 28, 2012 22:48:09 GMT -4
Knuckles:
These are the words ya' SHOULD have uttered last year against CJ Gates. Do you not see that yet Sally? Ever since ya' came to Asylum, it's been one big failure after another. Are we all supposed to believe the REAL Sally Talfourd is back after one lucky ass win? Does anybody really even giva' shit? Your time has past, people are already sick of hearin' about ya' and nobody thinks you're relevant anymore but YOU.
Sure you can sit there and claim that ya' still “got it”, whatever the fuck THAT means, but someday REAL soon; you're gonna' have to face reality. The reality of Sally Talfourd not bein' able to get the job done like she used to. Now i'll be the first to admit Sally, there's no other woman in ANY organization, IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SPORT, who is more dominate than you. Hands down, the best female wrestler; no question about it. But this isn't 2010 and i'm not Level One. He's still lookin' for the princess in ANOTHER castle remember?
Under the circumstances, I would much rather buy ya' round after round until ya' let me show you how well I can read lips. Then I could tell the world what your camel toe is sayin'. You might not get this outta' my words Sally, but I like you; a lot. It might even be construed as a type of “LOVE”. Ya' that's it, I love you Sally. I love you SOO much that I decided that i'm willin' to spend a couple grand just to watch you on your web cam show of yours at $3.99 a minute. I figured that if you're worth watchin' for free in APW, how much more worth it is it to see a paid show......
The scene opens in the apartment of Johnny Knuckles where he can be seen looking at a .computer screen behind a desk. There are multiple pictures of Sally Talfourd hanging around the walls and since Knuckles is facing the camera with the computer screen facing Knuckles, you can't exactly see what he is watching but with the look on his eyes and a bottle of lotion on the table next to him, i'm sure you can guess......
? ? ?: So uh, whatcha' doing?
A strange voice that Knuckles never heard before startles him for a brief moment.
Knuckles: Whoa! Who the hell are you?
? ? ?: I'm Shaun, the new camera guy assigned to you.
Knuckles: Assigned to me? Do ya' always walk into people's apartments or homes uninvited, unannounced and unwelcomed?
Shaun: No, but I heard you were a stand up guy, so I let myself in to “catch” you in your element.
Knuckles: You don't watch much wrestin' do ya'?
Shaun: No sir, but a pay check is a pay check and I have a family to feed.
Knuckles: Well....Shaun is it? There's a reason I keep a cattle prod near me, so unless ya' like the feelin' of a cattle prod rammed up your ass and shocked from the inside out, I HIGHLY suggest ya' knock first.....understood?
That sudden uneasy feeling came over Shaun as he sets up a tripod so he can take the camera off his shoulder.
Shaun: So, what's with the bottle of lotion?
Knuckles:.......i have ashy elbows......
Shaun: MmmmHmmm....
Knuckles: SHUT UP!!
Shaun: So what's all this anyways?
Knuckles: Well, BEFORE I WAS SO RUDELY INTERUPTED......i was about to log into Sally Talfourd's web cam show. I have a couple extra grand I felt like blowin' on the new love of my life.
Shaun: Isn't that what the strip club is for?
Knuckles:.......SHUT UP!!
**click** Google Chrome (FTW) – **click**Google Search – **click** S-A-L-L-Y T-A-L-F-O-U-R-D – *click** ENTER – **scroll down** – **click** Hot Wrestling Whores.com – **click** Sally Talfourd's Happy Endings **click**
Server is temporarily out of service. We are sorry for any inconvenience.
Knuckles: What the hell is this? Server down?
Shaun: So what are you gonna' do now?
**click** back a page – **click** scroll down – **click** – Bangbus.com
As Knuckles clicked to go back to the google search, he found a “Tally Salfourd” at the Bangbus website that seemed to be too coincidental for him so as he clicked on it, he saw a van; cruising around around Chicago, Illinois in search of somebody to do an “interview” with and her name happened t be “Tally Salfourd”.
Disclaimer: Due to it's graphic nature, we can NOT show you the actual website or it's content but we CAN show you Knuckles reaction to what he is watching as well as SOME of the sound.
Knuckles clicked on the page and bought some air time so that he could watch this update from Bangbus.com. Knuckles is watching a van drive around with three guys, Uggs driving, Preston holding a camera with a wad of cash in his hand, and Nick just hanging out in the back seat. They tried to pick up woman after woman but failed at each attempt. They finally pull up next to an woman who seems to be jogging and on her way to the United Center that looks ALMOST like you know who. The camera pans behind the computer to start capturing Knuckles reaction as it seems his eyes are bugging out of his head like a kid in a candy store. He reaches over for the lotion and squirts some in his hand but Shaun coughs as Knuckles quickly starts rubbing it on his “ashy” elbows.
Shaun: Ashy elbows huh?
Knuckles:...................YES!!.......SHUT UP!!!!
The dialogue continues on the website.
Preston: So Tally, do you usually get into strange vans with strange guys?
“Tally”: Yes but I usually don't get paid for it. Last time some guy randomly came up to me, he asked me if I would tell him if a rag smelled like Ether. Then the next thing I know, some guy in blue spandex is attacking us. (ha S&C reference)
Preston: Well what if I offered you like say....$300? Would you take off your top?
“Tally”: Do I look like some whore? Make it $500.....
The sounds of money can be heard as Knuckles continues to watch with an eager eye.
Preston: Are those real? Wow.....can my friend Nick touch them?
Nick: They ARE real, nice.
Knuckles starts sweating at the thought of the fantasy. Again, due to it's graphic nature, the footage can NOT be shown. Instead, Knuckles will illustrate their actions by using a pair of dolls used in court to describe where a pedophile touched them. (don't ask me how Knuckles has this let alone, two of them.) Knuckles lays them both flat, one on its back and the other on top. Knuckles then grabs the one on top and starts slamming it onto the one on the bottom.
Knuckles BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM...........Bam Bam and Emeril can take over from here.
Shaun: Uh, where did you get those dolls?
Knuckles: Ashy elbows?
He puts the dolls away and continues to watch the content on his computer.
After a few moments of watching this, the sound starts to get a little....GRAPHIC for APW viewers so the vulgar parts have been censored for protection.
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP ME! BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP YES! BLEEP BLEEP NOW! BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP IN MY BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP....we almost there?
Knuckles: Hey Shaun. Would ya' mind getting' me some jerky and a Donkey Punch from the kitchen? And help yourself while your at it.
Shaun: Yea, sure.
Shaun grabs the provisions out of the kitchen and soon as he goes back into the room where Knuckles is watching the reaction, Knuckles is passed out in the chair with stacks upon stacks of wadded up tissue paper all over the floor. He was gone for less than five minutes, how the hell was Knuckles so fast? Must have been THAT exciting to watch. The web content Knuckles is watching is still going.
Preston: Ok so you said the United Center right?
“Tally”: This doesn't look like the United Center.....
You hear the sounds of a van door opening and the scream of a woman being pushed out of a van and into the middle of a ghetto half naked. She starts screaming and cursing as the wheels of the van screech and drive off with the three guys inside bursting into heavy laughter. The camera pans back as Knuckles is woken up by the sounds of the content and just looks over at Shaun who is just shaking his head at him in disbelief.
Shaun: Little tired huh?
Knuckles: ASHY ELBOWS!!!!!
Shaun: What the hell did I just sign up for?
Shaun dismantles the camera in utter shock as Knuckles tried to clean himself off and the scene fades.
Knuckles: That was the BEST $100 I ever spent on internet porn. HA! I dunno' if that was really you Sally but DAMN it looked really close. I bet you'll have an excuse for this too huh? Just like everything else that happened to you here in APW. Remember last year? You and Havok lost the tag title match against OV and claimed to have a “small injury”. You lost the Elimination Chamber then claimed that you needed to retire. At Survive and Conquer, you claimed to not be at your absolute best. How many more “EXCUSES” can ya' come up with before ya' start rehashing some of the old one's Sally? And YOU respect ME!?
Save your respect and pity Sally cuz' if anybody needs it more in APW than it's certainly you. I'm here for one simple reason and that's to win Test For The Best. If ya' wanna' “respect” somebody, then start having respect for yourself and start respectin' the fans. This comin' from me, I KNOW!! I realized that no matter how much blood i've lost, no matter how many teeth i've lost, no matter how many brain cells died with my own self interest at heart, no matter how many times I told the fans themselves, to SUCK IT, they still stood up and applauded my efforts just like you do. That is why I do what I do. I grew up my whole life never bein' appreciated for what I do and it wasn't until I came to APW that I finally started to get that “respect” you talk about so much.
I've sacrificed everythin' for this business, for APW, for the brand of Asyum and do ya' honestly think I wouldn't hit you as hard as I can? You are one, if not, THE best that APW has to offer and i've waited over a year to get my chance to test myself against you. I sacrified everythin' cuz' to me, you either go big or go home, to steal a phrase from Gates. I sat back and watched as you made excuse after excuse as to why you failed.
WHO FUCKIN' CARES!?
Why does it matter of ya' failed Sally? You fall, you get back up; it's as simple as that. Its only nature that people fall, but its chemistry to get back up. The chemical known as adrenaline kicks in and at that point, you make a split second decision. For me, that choice is one sided and I will NEVER stop getting' back up. I'm really glad you see this in me Sally and it certainly means a lot. But don't just sit there and point it out, learn from it. I can help bring ya' to the promise land, in more ways than one, but you gotta' want it. How bad do you want it? How far are you willin' to go?
At Survive and Conquer, you THOUGHT you made it to the final four with Kurt Noble but realized ya' fucked up after I grabbed you by your nappy ass weave and tossed you on your ass. If ya' weren't so full of yourself, you'd realize that after I eliminated Rebel, you dumped me over the top and on top of HIS BACK! It's the arrogance ya' show here that makes people sick of watchin' you. All ya' had to do was take a second to confirm the elimination but once again, the “princess” was too concerned with makin' herself look good that by the time you realized you failed, I had already dumped you over. (gigiddy) Watch the footage as many time as ya' like Sally, but that is video proof that I have what it takes to beat you. No excuses, just dominance.
I also hear that you have an affinity for toothless guys eh Sally baby? HA, no wonder you couldn't look Kash in the eyes, he made you all wet in the pants and hot around the collar. Since he won't give ya' the time of day, you flail those pretty lil' furry eye balls in MY direction?
SWEEEEEEEET!!!
I love a girl who digs scars. I could only imagine how good the head would be if you had missing teeth just like me. I COULD make it happen Sally, but why waste such a beautiful face made specifically for radio.....Like the song, “Striptease” by Hinder, Gotta' shake that ass cuz' you suck at wrestliiiiing.......you think that you're the real deal; your nothin' but a STRIPTEASE. For now, I have to spend my time rippin' through each of your “excuses” in order to go head to head with the worlds greatest sidekick Chaz Dillinger or the worlds greatest door stop Mike Morrison.
The scene opens back up again as Knuckles and his new camera guy, Shaun, find themselves at the local Toys-R-us where Knuckles wants to do some “shopping”. They head to the section where all the Hannah Montana stuff is.
Shaun: Why are we here?
Knuckles: Homework my new found cohort. Chaz Dillinger wants to be cliché and talk about mountains of such as if he was Robert Downey Jr. in Iron man. He said it himself cuz' he LOVES to quote Hannah Montana so I think the best description of him lies somewhere on these shelves in this area.
Shaun: You wanna' doll don't you?
Knuckles: The best!
Knuckles grabs a decently sized Hannah Montana Doll off the rack and heads over to the lego section where the rest of the “action figures”. He can't quite seem to find what he is looking for but at the end of the aisle, he finds the costumes for little kids. He takes the Hannah Montana doll and puts on it the Iron Man mask, the Iron Man gloves, and even a fake rocket pack.
Knuckles: See, this is how Chaz in-visions himself.
Shaun: Like a total tool?
Knuckles: More like a jackass but you got the idea. He was born with TONS of money, he was handed everythin' he has in life, and he preaches on about how he started this business. Do I really owe my career to THIS weathery twat? I'm older than he is and I certainly been in the business longer, but somehow, I have a job all thanks to the likes of this douche.
Shaun: Seems to be another person who is too full of themselves.
Knuckles: Then we have THIS guy.....
Knuckles reaches over and grabs the Michael Myers figure. He grabs the door stop thats in front of the store and duct tapes it to it's face.
Knuckles: This to me, represents Mike Morrison. Sure he looks bad ass, but not only does his track record say other wise, he's fuckin' stupider than dog shit. Completely unpredictable, unreliable, and utterly useless. All he is good for is filler and holding the god damn door open so that guys like me can move on.
Shaun: A little cocky are we?
Knuckles: Just bein' honest there Shaun. If it weren't for the fact that SOMEBODY needs to hold the door open for the rest of us in APW, then Morrison wouldn't have a job. Fits perfectly in his match against Chaz since he DID give APW it's start, it's history AND notoriety.
Shaun: Is the rest of APW this arrogant?
Knuckles: Usually no, but since we're pressed for time; we needed to speed things up.
Shaun: That explains a few things. I assume you're going to preview this match for everybody here?
Knuckles: It's like ya' knew me my whole life there Shaun.....
Knuckles sits on the floor and starts flailing the toys around as if they were flying. He slams them together like children do and then makes the “Morrison” figure fall over in defeat.
Knuckles: ...and the winner of the first round goes to Chaz Dilinger.....
He huffs in the air pretending to make cheer sounds but then realizes that nobody cheers for this douche.
Shaun: So I guess this means you plan on Chaz to win his match?
Knuckles: Plan? I'd gladly PAY Morrison to give Chaz the spot just so I can smash his fuckin' face in for his bullshit at Mayhem and the weeks leadin' up to it.
Shaun: That's if you can make it past Sally.
Knuckles: For the first time since I met you earlier today, I'll happily say you're right. She certainly is no push over. Again, for the sake of time, we have to make due.
Shaun: Seems to be consistent with you.
Knuckles: Doesn't it!
Shaun: The sarcasm isn't really necessary you know.
Knuckles: BUT IT IS!! I need people to fucking get the point. Since you're the only person here to talk to me, i'm hopin' this'll sink in rather quickly.
Shaun: Point taken.
Knuckles stands up and just curb stomps the shit out of the Hannah Montana doll until the Iron Man parts and the doll itself are completely destroyed.
Lady at the counter: Um, Sir! You're going to have to pay for that.
Knuckles: Trust me, I watched enough boring Chaz Dillinger promo's these past couple weeks to not only have paid my debt, but to earn some reparations....
Lady at the counter: Excuse me?
Shaun: What he means is that he'll pay for it all.
Knuckles: AWWWWWWW!!! Do I have to?
Knuckles takes out a wad of bills and drops it on the counter. They both walk out of the store as the scene fades.
Knuckles: I just wanna' make sure I got the facts straight........
How old does Chaz think I am? Do ya' think I'm Kurt Noble old? Do ya' think that i'm over the hill at 30? Really? You would think that the owner of a multi-million dollar corporation would have enough common sense to actually DO HIS RESEARCH on his opponents. NO NO, not Chaz. He's too good to actually put in the work in order to do anything. Why does this not surprise me about you Dillinger? Why does it not surprise me that instead of findin' a weakness to exploit, you jump in like a jackass and get it all wrong......
I suppose if ya' stopped watchin' the “old men” shower at the Y.M.C.A. And focused more on how to “Rassle” then ya' might do a lil' better. I must say though Chaz, you been lookin' great these past couple weeks. Ya' tightened your belt and ya' came here, it's like you're David Carradine. You seem to have me confused with Havok who is too busy collectin' unemployment right now. I'm far from bein' some push over and if your selective memory wasn't so mush right now, you'd know more about me than just a few sparks of interest.
Listen, Tony Stark, what HONESTLY makes ya' think that you got this? What drugs are ya' takin' that make ya' believe that Chaz Dillinger is leavin' Test For The Best with his legs still in tact, let alone as the winner? AGAIN, if you remember correctly, it was YOU who lost at Mayhem against Jason Kash, not me. He pinned YOUR SORRY ASS to retain. You keep claimin' greatness but have YET to show anybody; anything great.
What's worse is that you'll be too busy pickin' the leather out of your front teeth to face me after Morrison kicks your face in. it's just such a shame that his only success in APW was by the side of man who thought that “FRIDAY” was named after him. (see land of make believe) Like I mentioned before Morrison, you are nothin' more than filler. A wasted spot on the card to somebody else who deserves it. I will beg ya' though.....
PLEASE LET CHAZ WIN!!!
If ya' do, then I will gladly pay you $10,000. I would CHERISH the chance to get my hands around his grubby lil' neck for costin' me match after match all of last month. I lost my title match to Kash cuz' his pussy ass doesn't know how to take a hit. He tries to dig himself out of the holes he digs but for some strange reason, he can't seem to comprehend why there isn't any courage left in the tank. He can't seem to get it through this self deluded mentality of his that he can't even come close to bein' able to go the distance like I can. So for the love of god, THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, let him advance. I would love to take every footage of success any opponent of his that he's faced in the last month alone, and crap it up into that cavernous twat he calls an ass.
This PPV means a lot more to me than anybody else here. While Sally sits there and says she WANTS IT, while Chaz sits back and says he DESERVES IT, while Morrison sits there and holds the damn door open, nobody in APW wants it, deserves it, or NEEDS IT more than me. I've been beaten down, thrown around, and forced to bleed more than anybody else combined.
No, this isn't MY time. This isn't Sally's time or Chaz's time, or Morrisons.....whatever. This time belongs to the fans. The people who spend their hard earned money each week to see us bleed just for pure entertainment. The people who allow us to live the lives we do. The people who, sometimes ask for a lil' too much, deserve to see the best that APW, the best that Asylum can represent. Do any of you represent Asylum? Do any of you represent the brand that made you a star?
NO!!
I do. Sally is so focused on redeemin' herself for last years failure, Chaz is too busy thinkin' i'm in this for the money when in actuality, i've made more money in my life to retire NOW if I pleased. And Morrison is wonderin' where he left his crayons and coloring book. While you three fuckers are too busy tryin' to see what you could get out of APW, i'm sacrificin' my blood, my body, my soul so that this company can continue to give undeserved paychecks to greedy pricks like you. I don't need to waste any more time talkin' about how a group of people in a tournament are ALL going to win it and face the champ at Shockwave. My actions speak a lot louder than any of your words and based on the past couple months alone, the outcome is nothing more than business as usual.
Word count: 3999
You ARE a failure......
You ARE a failure......
You ARE a failure......
These are the words ya' SHOULD have uttered last year against CJ Gates. Do you not see that yet Sally? Ever since ya' came to Asylum, it's been one big failure after another. Are we all supposed to believe the REAL Sally Talfourd is back after one lucky ass win? Does anybody really even giva' shit? Your time has past, people are already sick of hearin' about ya' and nobody thinks you're relevant anymore but YOU.
Sure you can sit there and claim that ya' still “got it”, whatever the fuck THAT means, but someday REAL soon; you're gonna' have to face reality. The reality of Sally Talfourd not bein' able to get the job done like she used to. Now i'll be the first to admit Sally, there's no other woman in ANY organization, IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SPORT, who is more dominate than you. Hands down, the best female wrestler; no question about it. But this isn't 2010 and i'm not Level One. He's still lookin' for the princess in ANOTHER castle remember?
Under the circumstances, I would much rather buy ya' round after round until ya' let me show you how well I can read lips. Then I could tell the world what your camel toe is sayin'. You might not get this outta' my words Sally, but I like you; a lot. It might even be construed as a type of “LOVE”. Ya' that's it, I love you Sally. I love you SOO much that I decided that i'm willin' to spend a couple grand just to watch you on your web cam show of yours at $3.99 a minute. I figured that if you're worth watchin' for free in APW, how much more worth it is it to see a paid show......
The scene opens in the apartment of Johnny Knuckles where he can be seen looking at a .computer screen behind a desk. There are multiple pictures of Sally Talfourd hanging around the walls and since Knuckles is facing the camera with the computer screen facing Knuckles, you can't exactly see what he is watching but with the look on his eyes and a bottle of lotion on the table next to him, i'm sure you can guess......
? ? ?: So uh, whatcha' doing?
A strange voice that Knuckles never heard before startles him for a brief moment.
Knuckles: Whoa! Who the hell are you?
? ? ?: I'm Shaun, the new camera guy assigned to you.
Knuckles: Assigned to me? Do ya' always walk into people's apartments or homes uninvited, unannounced and unwelcomed?
Shaun: No, but I heard you were a stand up guy, so I let myself in to “catch” you in your element.
Knuckles: You don't watch much wrestin' do ya'?
Shaun: No sir, but a pay check is a pay check and I have a family to feed.
Knuckles: Well....Shaun is it? There's a reason I keep a cattle prod near me, so unless ya' like the feelin' of a cattle prod rammed up your ass and shocked from the inside out, I HIGHLY suggest ya' knock first.....understood?
That sudden uneasy feeling came over Shaun as he sets up a tripod so he can take the camera off his shoulder.
Shaun: So, what's with the bottle of lotion?
Knuckles:.......i have ashy elbows......
Shaun: MmmmHmmm....
Knuckles: SHUT UP!!
Shaun: So what's all this anyways?
Knuckles: Well, BEFORE I WAS SO RUDELY INTERUPTED......i was about to log into Sally Talfourd's web cam show. I have a couple extra grand I felt like blowin' on the new love of my life.
Shaun: Isn't that what the strip club is for?
Knuckles:.......SHUT UP!!
**click** Google Chrome (FTW) – **click**Google Search – **click** S-A-L-L-Y T-A-L-F-O-U-R-D – *click** ENTER – **scroll down** – **click** Hot Wrestling Whores.com – **click** Sally Talfourd's Happy Endings **click**
Server is temporarily out of service. We are sorry for any inconvenience.
Knuckles: What the hell is this? Server down?
Shaun: So what are you gonna' do now?
**click** back a page – **click** scroll down – **click** – Bangbus.com
As Knuckles clicked to go back to the google search, he found a “Tally Salfourd” at the Bangbus website that seemed to be too coincidental for him so as he clicked on it, he saw a van; cruising around around Chicago, Illinois in search of somebody to do an “interview” with and her name happened t be “Tally Salfourd”.
WARNING!!
Disclaimer: Due to it's graphic nature, we can NOT show you the actual website or it's content but we CAN show you Knuckles reaction to what he is watching as well as SOME of the sound.
Knuckles clicked on the page and bought some air time so that he could watch this update from Bangbus.com. Knuckles is watching a van drive around with three guys, Uggs driving, Preston holding a camera with a wad of cash in his hand, and Nick just hanging out in the back seat. They tried to pick up woman after woman but failed at each attempt. They finally pull up next to an woman who seems to be jogging and on her way to the United Center that looks ALMOST like you know who. The camera pans behind the computer to start capturing Knuckles reaction as it seems his eyes are bugging out of his head like a kid in a candy store. He reaches over for the lotion and squirts some in his hand but Shaun coughs as Knuckles quickly starts rubbing it on his “ashy” elbows.
Shaun: Ashy elbows huh?
Knuckles:...................YES!!.......SHUT UP!!!!
The dialogue continues on the website.
Preston: So Tally, do you usually get into strange vans with strange guys?
“Tally”: Yes but I usually don't get paid for it. Last time some guy randomly came up to me, he asked me if I would tell him if a rag smelled like Ether. Then the next thing I know, some guy in blue spandex is attacking us. (ha S&C reference)
Preston: Well what if I offered you like say....$300? Would you take off your top?
“Tally”: Do I look like some whore? Make it $500.....
The sounds of money can be heard as Knuckles continues to watch with an eager eye.
Preston: Are those real? Wow.....can my friend Nick touch them?
Nick: They ARE real, nice.
Knuckles starts sweating at the thought of the fantasy. Again, due to it's graphic nature, the footage can NOT be shown. Instead, Knuckles will illustrate their actions by using a pair of dolls used in court to describe where a pedophile touched them. (don't ask me how Knuckles has this let alone, two of them.) Knuckles lays them both flat, one on its back and the other on top. Knuckles then grabs the one on top and starts slamming it onto the one on the bottom.
Knuckles BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM...........Bam Bam and Emeril can take over from here.
Shaun: Uh, where did you get those dolls?
Knuckles: Ashy elbows?
He puts the dolls away and continues to watch the content on his computer.
After a few moments of watching this, the sound starts to get a little....GRAPHIC for APW viewers so the vulgar parts have been censored for protection.
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP ME! BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP YES! BLEEP BLEEP NOW! BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP IN MY BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP....we almost there?
Knuckles: Hey Shaun. Would ya' mind getting' me some jerky and a Donkey Punch from the kitchen? And help yourself while your at it.
Shaun: Yea, sure.
Shaun grabs the provisions out of the kitchen and soon as he goes back into the room where Knuckles is watching the reaction, Knuckles is passed out in the chair with stacks upon stacks of wadded up tissue paper all over the floor. He was gone for less than five minutes, how the hell was Knuckles so fast? Must have been THAT exciting to watch. The web content Knuckles is watching is still going.
Preston: Ok so you said the United Center right?
“Tally”: This doesn't look like the United Center.....
You hear the sounds of a van door opening and the scream of a woman being pushed out of a van and into the middle of a ghetto half naked. She starts screaming and cursing as the wheels of the van screech and drive off with the three guys inside bursting into heavy laughter. The camera pans back as Knuckles is woken up by the sounds of the content and just looks over at Shaun who is just shaking his head at him in disbelief.
Shaun: Little tired huh?
Knuckles: ASHY ELBOWS!!!!!
Shaun: What the hell did I just sign up for?
Shaun dismantles the camera in utter shock as Knuckles tried to clean himself off and the scene fades.
Knuckles: That was the BEST $100 I ever spent on internet porn. HA! I dunno' if that was really you Sally but DAMN it looked really close. I bet you'll have an excuse for this too huh? Just like everything else that happened to you here in APW. Remember last year? You and Havok lost the tag title match against OV and claimed to have a “small injury”. You lost the Elimination Chamber then claimed that you needed to retire. At Survive and Conquer, you claimed to not be at your absolute best. How many more “EXCUSES” can ya' come up with before ya' start rehashing some of the old one's Sally? And YOU respect ME!?
Save your respect and pity Sally cuz' if anybody needs it more in APW than it's certainly you. I'm here for one simple reason and that's to win Test For The Best. If ya' wanna' “respect” somebody, then start having respect for yourself and start respectin' the fans. This comin' from me, I KNOW!! I realized that no matter how much blood i've lost, no matter how many teeth i've lost, no matter how many brain cells died with my own self interest at heart, no matter how many times I told the fans themselves, to SUCK IT, they still stood up and applauded my efforts just like you do. That is why I do what I do. I grew up my whole life never bein' appreciated for what I do and it wasn't until I came to APW that I finally started to get that “respect” you talk about so much.
I've sacrificed everythin' for this business, for APW, for the brand of Asyum and do ya' honestly think I wouldn't hit you as hard as I can? You are one, if not, THE best that APW has to offer and i've waited over a year to get my chance to test myself against you. I sacrified everythin' cuz' to me, you either go big or go home, to steal a phrase from Gates. I sat back and watched as you made excuse after excuse as to why you failed.
WHO FUCKIN' CARES!?
Why does it matter of ya' failed Sally? You fall, you get back up; it's as simple as that. Its only nature that people fall, but its chemistry to get back up. The chemical known as adrenaline kicks in and at that point, you make a split second decision. For me, that choice is one sided and I will NEVER stop getting' back up. I'm really glad you see this in me Sally and it certainly means a lot. But don't just sit there and point it out, learn from it. I can help bring ya' to the promise land, in more ways than one, but you gotta' want it. How bad do you want it? How far are you willin' to go?
At Survive and Conquer, you THOUGHT you made it to the final four with Kurt Noble but realized ya' fucked up after I grabbed you by your nappy ass weave and tossed you on your ass. If ya' weren't so full of yourself, you'd realize that after I eliminated Rebel, you dumped me over the top and on top of HIS BACK! It's the arrogance ya' show here that makes people sick of watchin' you. All ya' had to do was take a second to confirm the elimination but once again, the “princess” was too concerned with makin' herself look good that by the time you realized you failed, I had already dumped you over. (gigiddy) Watch the footage as many time as ya' like Sally, but that is video proof that I have what it takes to beat you. No excuses, just dominance.
I also hear that you have an affinity for toothless guys eh Sally baby? HA, no wonder you couldn't look Kash in the eyes, he made you all wet in the pants and hot around the collar. Since he won't give ya' the time of day, you flail those pretty lil' furry eye balls in MY direction?
SWEEEEEEEET!!!
I love a girl who digs scars. I could only imagine how good the head would be if you had missing teeth just like me. I COULD make it happen Sally, but why waste such a beautiful face made specifically for radio.....Like the song, “Striptease” by Hinder, Gotta' shake that ass cuz' you suck at wrestliiiiing.......you think that you're the real deal; your nothin' but a STRIPTEASE. For now, I have to spend my time rippin' through each of your “excuses” in order to go head to head with the worlds greatest sidekick Chaz Dillinger or the worlds greatest door stop Mike Morrison.
The scene opens back up again as Knuckles and his new camera guy, Shaun, find themselves at the local Toys-R-us where Knuckles wants to do some “shopping”. They head to the section where all the Hannah Montana stuff is.
Shaun: Why are we here?
Knuckles: Homework my new found cohort. Chaz Dillinger wants to be cliché and talk about mountains of such as if he was Robert Downey Jr. in Iron man. He said it himself cuz' he LOVES to quote Hannah Montana so I think the best description of him lies somewhere on these shelves in this area.
Shaun: You wanna' doll don't you?
Knuckles: The best!
Knuckles grabs a decently sized Hannah Montana Doll off the rack and heads over to the lego section where the rest of the “action figures”. He can't quite seem to find what he is looking for but at the end of the aisle, he finds the costumes for little kids. He takes the Hannah Montana doll and puts on it the Iron Man mask, the Iron Man gloves, and even a fake rocket pack.
Knuckles: See, this is how Chaz in-visions himself.
Shaun: Like a total tool?
Knuckles: More like a jackass but you got the idea. He was born with TONS of money, he was handed everythin' he has in life, and he preaches on about how he started this business. Do I really owe my career to THIS weathery twat? I'm older than he is and I certainly been in the business longer, but somehow, I have a job all thanks to the likes of this douche.
Shaun: Seems to be another person who is too full of themselves.
Knuckles: Then we have THIS guy.....
Knuckles reaches over and grabs the Michael Myers figure. He grabs the door stop thats in front of the store and duct tapes it to it's face.
Knuckles: This to me, represents Mike Morrison. Sure he looks bad ass, but not only does his track record say other wise, he's fuckin' stupider than dog shit. Completely unpredictable, unreliable, and utterly useless. All he is good for is filler and holding the god damn door open so that guys like me can move on.
Shaun: A little cocky are we?
Knuckles: Just bein' honest there Shaun. If it weren't for the fact that SOMEBODY needs to hold the door open for the rest of us in APW, then Morrison wouldn't have a job. Fits perfectly in his match against Chaz since he DID give APW it's start, it's history AND notoriety.
Shaun: Is the rest of APW this arrogant?
Knuckles: Usually no, but since we're pressed for time; we needed to speed things up.
Shaun: That explains a few things. I assume you're going to preview this match for everybody here?
Knuckles: It's like ya' knew me my whole life there Shaun.....
Knuckles sits on the floor and starts flailing the toys around as if they were flying. He slams them together like children do and then makes the “Morrison” figure fall over in defeat.
Knuckles: ...and the winner of the first round goes to Chaz Dilinger.....
He huffs in the air pretending to make cheer sounds but then realizes that nobody cheers for this douche.
Shaun: So I guess this means you plan on Chaz to win his match?
Knuckles: Plan? I'd gladly PAY Morrison to give Chaz the spot just so I can smash his fuckin' face in for his bullshit at Mayhem and the weeks leadin' up to it.
Shaun: That's if you can make it past Sally.
Knuckles: For the first time since I met you earlier today, I'll happily say you're right. She certainly is no push over. Again, for the sake of time, we have to make due.
Shaun: Seems to be consistent with you.
Knuckles: Doesn't it!
Shaun: The sarcasm isn't really necessary you know.
Knuckles: BUT IT IS!! I need people to fucking get the point. Since you're the only person here to talk to me, i'm hopin' this'll sink in rather quickly.
Shaun: Point taken.
Knuckles stands up and just curb stomps the shit out of the Hannah Montana doll until the Iron Man parts and the doll itself are completely destroyed.
Lady at the counter: Um, Sir! You're going to have to pay for that.
Knuckles: Trust me, I watched enough boring Chaz Dillinger promo's these past couple weeks to not only have paid my debt, but to earn some reparations....
Lady at the counter: Excuse me?
Shaun: What he means is that he'll pay for it all.
Knuckles: AWWWWWWW!!! Do I have to?
Knuckles takes out a wad of bills and drops it on the counter. They both walk out of the store as the scene fades.
Knuckles: I just wanna' make sure I got the facts straight........
How old does Chaz think I am? Do ya' think I'm Kurt Noble old? Do ya' think that i'm over the hill at 30? Really? You would think that the owner of a multi-million dollar corporation would have enough common sense to actually DO HIS RESEARCH on his opponents. NO NO, not Chaz. He's too good to actually put in the work in order to do anything. Why does this not surprise me about you Dillinger? Why does it not surprise me that instead of findin' a weakness to exploit, you jump in like a jackass and get it all wrong......
I suppose if ya' stopped watchin' the “old men” shower at the Y.M.C.A. And focused more on how to “Rassle” then ya' might do a lil' better. I must say though Chaz, you been lookin' great these past couple weeks. Ya' tightened your belt and ya' came here, it's like you're David Carradine. You seem to have me confused with Havok who is too busy collectin' unemployment right now. I'm far from bein' some push over and if your selective memory wasn't so mush right now, you'd know more about me than just a few sparks of interest.
Listen, Tony Stark, what HONESTLY makes ya' think that you got this? What drugs are ya' takin' that make ya' believe that Chaz Dillinger is leavin' Test For The Best with his legs still in tact, let alone as the winner? AGAIN, if you remember correctly, it was YOU who lost at Mayhem against Jason Kash, not me. He pinned YOUR SORRY ASS to retain. You keep claimin' greatness but have YET to show anybody; anything great.
What's worse is that you'll be too busy pickin' the leather out of your front teeth to face me after Morrison kicks your face in. it's just such a shame that his only success in APW was by the side of man who thought that “FRIDAY” was named after him. (see land of make believe) Like I mentioned before Morrison, you are nothin' more than filler. A wasted spot on the card to somebody else who deserves it. I will beg ya' though.....
PLEASE LET CHAZ WIN!!!
If ya' do, then I will gladly pay you $10,000. I would CHERISH the chance to get my hands around his grubby lil' neck for costin' me match after match all of last month. I lost my title match to Kash cuz' his pussy ass doesn't know how to take a hit. He tries to dig himself out of the holes he digs but for some strange reason, he can't seem to comprehend why there isn't any courage left in the tank. He can't seem to get it through this self deluded mentality of his that he can't even come close to bein' able to go the distance like I can. So for the love of god, THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, let him advance. I would love to take every footage of success any opponent of his that he's faced in the last month alone, and crap it up into that cavernous twat he calls an ass.
This PPV means a lot more to me than anybody else here. While Sally sits there and says she WANTS IT, while Chaz sits back and says he DESERVES IT, while Morrison sits there and holds the damn door open, nobody in APW wants it, deserves it, or NEEDS IT more than me. I've been beaten down, thrown around, and forced to bleed more than anybody else combined.
No, this isn't MY time. This isn't Sally's time or Chaz's time, or Morrisons.....whatever. This time belongs to the fans. The people who spend their hard earned money each week to see us bleed just for pure entertainment. The people who allow us to live the lives we do. The people who, sometimes ask for a lil' too much, deserve to see the best that APW, the best that Asylum can represent. Do any of you represent Asylum? Do any of you represent the brand that made you a star?
NO!!
I do. Sally is so focused on redeemin' herself for last years failure, Chaz is too busy thinkin' i'm in this for the money when in actuality, i've made more money in my life to retire NOW if I pleased. And Morrison is wonderin' where he left his crayons and coloring book. While you three fuckers are too busy tryin' to see what you could get out of APW, i'm sacrificin' my blood, my body, my soul so that this company can continue to give undeserved paychecks to greedy pricks like you. I don't need to waste any more time talkin' about how a group of people in a tournament are ALL going to win it and face the champ at Shockwave. My actions speak a lot louder than any of your words and based on the past couple months alone, the outcome is nothing more than business as usual.
Word count: 3999
