Post by Reaver on Sept 8, 2012 3:31:19 GMT -4
Knuckles: The least likely to succeed.....
The biggest disappointment.....
The easiest to forget.....
The shortest win streak....
The biggest flop.....
Most likely to be forgotten....
Biggest joke.....
These have been the accomplishments I have received over the past 9 months. Can you honestly say that you've made it this far Phil? When ya' first got to APW, you had such big promise. The locker room looked at you and saw a future star, and arguably, the fastest risin' star in 2012. Never once was I ever rewarded like that. Never once was I nominated for anything great. I took the negativity that was thrown in my face and made somethin' of it.
Bruce Lee once said, “You must be like water.....and go with the flow.” I've fought and bled, and crippled for over two years to get to this point. I've sacrificed my own well being to help punks like you get somewhere while I sat back and took all the bullshit that came my way. Never once did I ever complain or bitch or moan. Throughout this past year, i've done things that very few could say they've accomplished. I'm considered a top contender without actually havin' much opportunity to achieve.
One Night in Hell is my opportunity. An Extreme Elimination Chamber match is right up my alley and if anybody deserves to be in it, it's surely me. Since when does deservin' anythin' ean anythin' on Asylum right? Maybe i'm just some pretentious prick Atken. After all the hard work I spent puttin' you over to be more than ya' should, it's about damn time I get what's comin' to me. I spent a long ass time solidifyin' your spot as a contender as well as my own spot as the toughest guy on Asylum. Talk about multitasking right? Pushin' you to be a contender took some fuckin' work but I pulled it off. Now comes the real test in this qualifyin' round to see how much you've learned. Do ya' got the balls to finish the job from Shockwave? Or will ya' buckle under the pressure of bein' worse than the laughing stock of APW?
Knuckles: Will ya' put me the fuck down?
We find ourselves in the cusp of a hotel room located in Waikiki Beach. The door swings open as Maxi-Knuckles is carrying Johnny Knuckles as if they were married over the threshold. Knuckles scrambles to get free but as Maxi walks in, Knuckles head hits the side of the door. He grabs himself in more pain than he's already in.
Knuckles: OOOOWWWEEEE!! What the hell man? I told yous' to put me down. I may be injured but my legs work just fine ya' walkin' pile of drool.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: Ya' find this funny? People are startin' to stare and question my masculinity. NOW PUT ME DOWN!!
No sooner than he says that, Maxi-Knuckles drops Knuckles like an arm full of luggage. Speaking of which, the bell hop walks in right behind them carrying the things they brought with them on the plane. He stands there with his hand out as if to wait for a nice tip. Knuckles grabs the cart and wheels it inside then slams the door in the bell hops face but continues to scream to him.
Knuckles: Sorry jerky......my tips are usually verbal. (ha for old time sake) Hey Slobbers, where the hell is Mini....uh me?
The cart begins to wiggle as a suitcase falls over and onto the floor. A zipper unzipping opens the flap as Mini-Knuckles hops out and kicks Johnny in the shin. He doesn't seem too happy. The very first thing he does is run to the bathroom and locks the door as Knuckles stands there rubbing his leg.
Knuckles: Seriously? You're gonna' blame me for stuffin' your short pear-shaped ass in there?
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: You can shut the hell up.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: Who asked you? It's not my fault that Reginald hired you guys then only gave me only two plane tickets. I had to improvise since we were runnin' too late to just wait in line to pay for another ticket.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: Then next time, don't play with your hair so much. It's the reason we were late. I swear that ya' worse than a woman.
The toilet flushes as Mini-Knuckles walks out feeling somewhat better. I guess holding it in for a 12 hour flight inside a suitcase isn't fun. Not as much fun as it was to see Knuckles helping them load said suitcase onto the bottom of the plane where the rest of the luggage went. I guess that was only funny to old Johnny anyways. Mini-Knuckles glares at Johnny something fierce. He was almost looking at him like he was an ex-girlfriend.
Knuckles: What? I told ya' not to load up on potato skins and hot wings before the flight.
Mini: ….........
Knuckles: Pft! Whatever! If it wasn't for my match against Atken and my beat the fuck body, i'd kick your ass for that comment.
Maxi: *giggles*
Mini: …......
Maxi: *giggles*
Mini: …............
Knuckles: How is it that yous' two can have full on conversations like that? Anyways, we got work to do.
Knuckles pulls out his laptop and, using the WiFi, manages to catch a web recording of Phil Atken giving his thoughts on Shockwave. It's amazing how Knuckles can do this but has a hard time tying his own shoes without an instruction manual. He glances over at Maxi-Knuckles who seems to be ruining the nice hotel carpet with his disgusting drool. Disgusted, Knuckles throws a towel at him to wipe his chin. Hopefully, drool is the ONLY thing coming from this dude's chin.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: No, you can go ahead and keep that. I just take them from the hotel anyways....HA.
Mini: ….....
Knuckles: Did it land on your head? No? Then quit bitchin'. I swear, ever since Regi' hired you goons; I been babysittin' ya'. Where the hell are MY government issued childcare checks?
Knuckles turns his webcam on and starts recording. Again, it's amazing he knows this. The same guy who thought that wrapping a potato in foil and putting it in the microwave was a good idea.
Knuckles: Heya' there Phil! It's your new/old friend here bringin' ya' good tidings from Waikiki Beach. How's ya' friends Dickhead and Skank? I hope my lil' army of SUPERHUMAN midgets didn't mess them up TOO bad. I figured that since we both seem to be very “charitable” to each other; that we both need a good piece of relaxation. Watcha' say bud? Massages on me? I hear they give KILLER happy endin's around here.
Listen Phil, I'm gonna' be straight forward with ya'. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YA' THINKIN'? Yes I need a MUCH needed vacation, yes I need time off and arguably, It prolly' couldn't hurt to get some therapy while i'm at it. But do ya' honestly think for one second that i'm gonna' just roll over for ya'? After I spent all this time puttin' your Lane Bryant stretch pant ass on APW's map? I worked my ass off to show the world that you COULD possible be a contender. I'm the reason anybody is lookin' at this match as if it was worth a fuck.
Ironic I know right? The guy voted most forgettable is pushin' the proverbial envelope. How dare ya' think think that you're doin ME any favors by puttin' a guy like me “out of his misery”. Do ya' honestly think a stack of TV's crashin' down on me is gonna' get the job done? I've been in brutal matches my whole career. Cage matches against the great Brad Jackson made completely out of light tubes. The floors covered in thumb tacks and broken glass. The ropes replaced out of barbed wire. I thought yous' would have gotten the hint by now Phil. I thought that I taught ya' how to survive in the Asylum environment.
I guess I was wrong right Phil? That gleam in your eyes as ya' pushed over those TV's was merely just a fluke I suppose. That evil chuckle, that phoney smile, all for nothin' right? My work isn't done yet Atken and Sunday will be the true test of wills. You continuously try to push this fascist way of wrestling and the people are sick of it bein' crammed down their throats. Why do ya' think Jason Kash has beaten me on every occasion? It wasn't cuz' he pussyfooted around with tradition. He stooped down to my level and together, we created a whole new set of violence that he managed to take advantage of. Not to push ideals but to create a way of life. He figured out my weakness from the inside and I'M GIVIN' YOU THAT SAME WEAKNESS AND YOU FAIL TO RECOGNIZE IT!!
It's starin' you right in the face and just like a stubborn jackass, you ignore it. Since you're not willin' to accept the lifestyle that Asylum needs in order to bring home the gold, i've decided to just end it all myself. I decided to do it all with a song.
Knuckles whips out his phone and starts playing the theme to the old mickey mouse club.
Knuckles: Who's the leader of the club, that's made for you and me? D-O-N-K-E-Y P-U-N-C-H!! Donkey punch!! Donkey Punch!!
If you aint' willin' to accept the facts and adapt to the surroundings Phil, then I have no choice but to stop the class and make a "HEE HAW!" example out of you. Why do ya' do this to me? I put so much hard work into buildin' ya' up so you can what? Throw it all back in my face? You ungrateful prick. Your contract would have been ripped up and thrown to the furnace if it wasn't for me pushin' ya' to be just a lil' violent. You think you're above it? You're not above it Phil, you will be consumed by it. Everythin' that ya' try to push as “Rasslin'” will go straight to the shitter to make way for the new breed of violence.
My back is to the corner Atken. This wounded animal will find a way to feed and find a way to win cuz' that's what I do best. That's why I do what I do. I'm at my absolute best when i'm at my absolute worst. Covered in blood with no other options left but to dig deep and push through the pain. Sunday, I will make sure that YOU'RE the one covered in blood so you can finally have a taste of what it's like to be me for just a brief moment. Not just with your back in the corner but with that feelin' of disappointment when I walk away with a spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber match. I gave ya' the chance to take it from me, but I guess ya' not only lack the testicular fortitude, but there's no gas left in your tank and when ya' dig deep, you find yourself comin' up short. No wonder you're the laughin' stock......
Knuckles looks over and notices that Maxi and Mini left the room for god knows what. He looks over to his left then back to his right as if to see if the coast is clear then runs over to lock the door. He pulls out of his pocket a picture of Sally Talfourd and grins. Just as he opens the bathroom door to “handle his business”, the whiff of Mini-Knuckles stank from earlier hits him making him gag and almost making him vomit. He slams the door shut as the scene fades with Knuckles gasping for air.
The biggest disappointment.....
The easiest to forget.....
The shortest win streak....
The biggest flop.....
Most likely to be forgotten....
Biggest joke.....
These have been the accomplishments I have received over the past 9 months. Can you honestly say that you've made it this far Phil? When ya' first got to APW, you had such big promise. The locker room looked at you and saw a future star, and arguably, the fastest risin' star in 2012. Never once was I ever rewarded like that. Never once was I nominated for anything great. I took the negativity that was thrown in my face and made somethin' of it.
Bruce Lee once said, “You must be like water.....and go with the flow.” I've fought and bled, and crippled for over two years to get to this point. I've sacrificed my own well being to help punks like you get somewhere while I sat back and took all the bullshit that came my way. Never once did I ever complain or bitch or moan. Throughout this past year, i've done things that very few could say they've accomplished. I'm considered a top contender without actually havin' much opportunity to achieve.
One Night in Hell is my opportunity. An Extreme Elimination Chamber match is right up my alley and if anybody deserves to be in it, it's surely me. Since when does deservin' anythin' ean anythin' on Asylum right? Maybe i'm just some pretentious prick Atken. After all the hard work I spent puttin' you over to be more than ya' should, it's about damn time I get what's comin' to me. I spent a long ass time solidifyin' your spot as a contender as well as my own spot as the toughest guy on Asylum. Talk about multitasking right? Pushin' you to be a contender took some fuckin' work but I pulled it off. Now comes the real test in this qualifyin' round to see how much you've learned. Do ya' got the balls to finish the job from Shockwave? Or will ya' buckle under the pressure of bein' worse than the laughing stock of APW?
Knuckles: Will ya' put me the fuck down?
We find ourselves in the cusp of a hotel room located in Waikiki Beach. The door swings open as Maxi-Knuckles is carrying Johnny Knuckles as if they were married over the threshold. Knuckles scrambles to get free but as Maxi walks in, Knuckles head hits the side of the door. He grabs himself in more pain than he's already in.
Knuckles: OOOOWWWEEEE!! What the hell man? I told yous' to put me down. I may be injured but my legs work just fine ya' walkin' pile of drool.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: Ya' find this funny? People are startin' to stare and question my masculinity. NOW PUT ME DOWN!!
No sooner than he says that, Maxi-Knuckles drops Knuckles like an arm full of luggage. Speaking of which, the bell hop walks in right behind them carrying the things they brought with them on the plane. He stands there with his hand out as if to wait for a nice tip. Knuckles grabs the cart and wheels it inside then slams the door in the bell hops face but continues to scream to him.
Knuckles: Sorry jerky......my tips are usually verbal. (ha for old time sake) Hey Slobbers, where the hell is Mini....uh me?
The cart begins to wiggle as a suitcase falls over and onto the floor. A zipper unzipping opens the flap as Mini-Knuckles hops out and kicks Johnny in the shin. He doesn't seem too happy. The very first thing he does is run to the bathroom and locks the door as Knuckles stands there rubbing his leg.
Knuckles: Seriously? You're gonna' blame me for stuffin' your short pear-shaped ass in there?
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: You can shut the hell up.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: Who asked you? It's not my fault that Reginald hired you guys then only gave me only two plane tickets. I had to improvise since we were runnin' too late to just wait in line to pay for another ticket.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: Then next time, don't play with your hair so much. It's the reason we were late. I swear that ya' worse than a woman.
The toilet flushes as Mini-Knuckles walks out feeling somewhat better. I guess holding it in for a 12 hour flight inside a suitcase isn't fun. Not as much fun as it was to see Knuckles helping them load said suitcase onto the bottom of the plane where the rest of the luggage went. I guess that was only funny to old Johnny anyways. Mini-Knuckles glares at Johnny something fierce. He was almost looking at him like he was an ex-girlfriend.
Knuckles: What? I told ya' not to load up on potato skins and hot wings before the flight.
Mini: ….........
Knuckles: Pft! Whatever! If it wasn't for my match against Atken and my beat the fuck body, i'd kick your ass for that comment.
Maxi: *giggles*
Mini: …......
Maxi: *giggles*
Mini: …............
Knuckles: How is it that yous' two can have full on conversations like that? Anyways, we got work to do.
Knuckles pulls out his laptop and, using the WiFi, manages to catch a web recording of Phil Atken giving his thoughts on Shockwave. It's amazing how Knuckles can do this but has a hard time tying his own shoes without an instruction manual. He glances over at Maxi-Knuckles who seems to be ruining the nice hotel carpet with his disgusting drool. Disgusted, Knuckles throws a towel at him to wipe his chin. Hopefully, drool is the ONLY thing coming from this dude's chin.
Maxi: *giggles*
Knuckles: No, you can go ahead and keep that. I just take them from the hotel anyways....HA.
Mini: ….....
Knuckles: Did it land on your head? No? Then quit bitchin'. I swear, ever since Regi' hired you goons; I been babysittin' ya'. Where the hell are MY government issued childcare checks?
Knuckles turns his webcam on and starts recording. Again, it's amazing he knows this. The same guy who thought that wrapping a potato in foil and putting it in the microwave was a good idea.
Knuckles: Heya' there Phil! It's your new/old friend here bringin' ya' good tidings from Waikiki Beach. How's ya' friends Dickhead and Skank? I hope my lil' army of SUPERHUMAN midgets didn't mess them up TOO bad. I figured that since we both seem to be very “charitable” to each other; that we both need a good piece of relaxation. Watcha' say bud? Massages on me? I hear they give KILLER happy endin's around here.
Listen Phil, I'm gonna' be straight forward with ya'. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YA' THINKIN'? Yes I need a MUCH needed vacation, yes I need time off and arguably, It prolly' couldn't hurt to get some therapy while i'm at it. But do ya' honestly think for one second that i'm gonna' just roll over for ya'? After I spent all this time puttin' your Lane Bryant stretch pant ass on APW's map? I worked my ass off to show the world that you COULD possible be a contender. I'm the reason anybody is lookin' at this match as if it was worth a fuck.
Ironic I know right? The guy voted most forgettable is pushin' the proverbial envelope. How dare ya' think think that you're doin ME any favors by puttin' a guy like me “out of his misery”. Do ya' honestly think a stack of TV's crashin' down on me is gonna' get the job done? I've been in brutal matches my whole career. Cage matches against the great Brad Jackson made completely out of light tubes. The floors covered in thumb tacks and broken glass. The ropes replaced out of barbed wire. I thought yous' would have gotten the hint by now Phil. I thought that I taught ya' how to survive in the Asylum environment.
I guess I was wrong right Phil? That gleam in your eyes as ya' pushed over those TV's was merely just a fluke I suppose. That evil chuckle, that phoney smile, all for nothin' right? My work isn't done yet Atken and Sunday will be the true test of wills. You continuously try to push this fascist way of wrestling and the people are sick of it bein' crammed down their throats. Why do ya' think Jason Kash has beaten me on every occasion? It wasn't cuz' he pussyfooted around with tradition. He stooped down to my level and together, we created a whole new set of violence that he managed to take advantage of. Not to push ideals but to create a way of life. He figured out my weakness from the inside and I'M GIVIN' YOU THAT SAME WEAKNESS AND YOU FAIL TO RECOGNIZE IT!!
It's starin' you right in the face and just like a stubborn jackass, you ignore it. Since you're not willin' to accept the lifestyle that Asylum needs in order to bring home the gold, i've decided to just end it all myself. I decided to do it all with a song.
Knuckles whips out his phone and starts playing the theme to the old mickey mouse club.
Knuckles: Who's the leader of the club, that's made for you and me? D-O-N-K-E-Y P-U-N-C-H!! Donkey punch!! Donkey Punch!!
If you aint' willin' to accept the facts and adapt to the surroundings Phil, then I have no choice but to stop the class and make a "HEE HAW!" example out of you. Why do ya' do this to me? I put so much hard work into buildin' ya' up so you can what? Throw it all back in my face? You ungrateful prick. Your contract would have been ripped up and thrown to the furnace if it wasn't for me pushin' ya' to be just a lil' violent. You think you're above it? You're not above it Phil, you will be consumed by it. Everythin' that ya' try to push as “Rasslin'” will go straight to the shitter to make way for the new breed of violence.
My back is to the corner Atken. This wounded animal will find a way to feed and find a way to win cuz' that's what I do best. That's why I do what I do. I'm at my absolute best when i'm at my absolute worst. Covered in blood with no other options left but to dig deep and push through the pain. Sunday, I will make sure that YOU'RE the one covered in blood so you can finally have a taste of what it's like to be me for just a brief moment. Not just with your back in the corner but with that feelin' of disappointment when I walk away with a spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber match. I gave ya' the chance to take it from me, but I guess ya' not only lack the testicular fortitude, but there's no gas left in your tank and when ya' dig deep, you find yourself comin' up short. No wonder you're the laughin' stock......
SLAM!
Knuckles looks over and notices that Maxi and Mini left the room for god knows what. He looks over to his left then back to his right as if to see if the coast is clear then runs over to lock the door. He pulls out of his pocket a picture of Sally Talfourd and grins. Just as he opens the bathroom door to “handle his business”, the whiff of Mini-Knuckles stank from earlier hits him making him gag and almost making him vomit. He slams the door shut as the scene fades with Knuckles gasping for air.
