Post by Jason Cashe on Sept 13, 2012 17:14:32 GMT -4
Jason Kash: It's good to see you man, you should hang out more often.
Mr. Dangerous: I can't lie and say I wasn't surprised you called. Last we talked really was after I helped you lose the Tag Titles last year. I wasn't however expecting this...
Being handed the camera, Mr. Dangerous is dressed in a Kitty Costume. Much like the one Stefan Raab showcases for laughs. Dangerous had thought Kash wanted to hang out, catch up on old times even but not this. He did need the money though and Kash knew that. Had there been another job that he had for Dangerous, he'd have hired him for that instead. Today however, Kash needed a camera man. He was out in the Philippine Jungle and APW wouldn't supply him with a cameraman so he was making due.
Mr. Dangerous: So just point and shoot right? I'm not going to be climbing around like some cat am I?
Jason Kash: If I wanted you too maybe, remember not only do you owe me for losing MY Tag Belts last year but I'm paying you good money to be out here with me. You did want to move out of your Mother's basement didn't you? I'm providing you with the funds needed to do that. Okay?
Mr. Dangerous: Yeah...okay...
The crept into the depths of the jungle, leaving the dirt road where they had parked. Kash in his jungle gear, has a can of bug repellant in his hand, spraying whenever he can to get rid of the bird sized insects. The noises alone scare Dangerous and it's just starting to become dark outside. The freaks of nature will arise at nightfall and Kash was going to be prepared.
Jason Kash: You ready? Okay..Welcome Ladies and Gents! This is the first of hopefully many episodes of JK-TV and I'm the Host With The Most, The Influential One, Jason Kash! Behind the camera is the one, the only...Nevermind, he doesn't matter..
Mr. Dangerous: HEY!!
Jason Kash: On today's episode, we will explore the depths of the jungle! To see the different predators in their natural environment, something I, myself have been coming back too. Out here or inside the ring, there are two kinds of animals. Those who hunt and those who get hunted and while that life cycle goes in a full circle, for the purpose of this show and my upcoming match, I'm the hunter! Good LORD that's a big spider..let's move away from that..
Mr. Dangerous: So much for being the hunter huh?
Jason Kash: Shut up, spiders are not Animals. They don't count, everyone knows that...Where was I? Oh yeah, predators! By far the most dangerous thing in this jungle isn't Mr. Dangerous here but an animal that is known simply by "The Influential One" and let me tell you why. At any given time this beast can be defeated but unlike some, he can also at any time be one of the biggest threats to run the jungle. See it never mattered where I ended up when I signed to APW, it's where I wanted to be when I came to Asylum. Be it Asylum or even Overdrive and I'd have produced.
Now my opponent this next show, Stefan Raab? He didn't produce on Meltdown, he hasn't produced much of anything since he stepped on the scene. He's had excuse after excuse as to why he hasn't. Not his style of competition, it's different in APW...Whine is best served after a loss and while he's had many, going up against "The Influential One" will be his most murderous loss to date. He will be embarrassed, harassed, bullied, and put Under the Influence of defeat. Is that just a prediction? You be the judge, you see everything on paper and then see everything that counts going into this showdown and tell me who takes the jungle as their hunting grounds.
Stopping, Mr. Dangerous raises his hand. Kash looks at him like he's stupid but points at him to speak. The sounds of birds in the distance echos through the jungle as do other animal calls and whistles but Mr. Dangerous puts his hand down and asks his question.
Mr. Dangerous: Umm..Are you still talking about the jungle or using it as a metaphor to this match with Raab? I'm kind of confused..
Jason Kash: You live in your Mother's Basement, women still confuse you so shut up and just handle the equipment.
Mr. Dangerous: Wow, rude much?
Walking backwards, Kash turns face front and walks right into a spider web. He instantly goes into a scare, slapping and swiping away at the web stuck to his face. Dangerous still working the camera makes sure to get everything on tape. Possible Youtube Sensation right here as the camera bounces from the laughter coming from Mr. Dangerous. Kash removes the last bit and gives Dangerous a scalding glare before ducking under some bush.
Jason Kash: It strikes me funny at how European Invasion can be so confused. One minute their being cheered by the masses and now their trying to be "bad" when their attempts at being so have been laughable at best. Stefan Raab who isn't even a true athlete is a joke, a fucking joke and belongs in some Indy Fed at the very best. He's actually trying to sell on him having Memory Loss, like APW Officials will just let someone with a brain issue compete. He gives the fans reason to call this business phoney. This guy is a prime reason why people look at Pro Wrestling and see a circus. Nobody really takes either of you clowns serious but at least Yarmouth can step up and be a man about his joke of a career. What have either of you won really but that Contendership to the Tag Titles? You and him both have had shots at the North American Title but both of you fell flat.
You've lost more than Mr. Dangerous since you've been here, what does that say about your talent inside the ring Stefan? It says that you're in a world of surprise when we get together and fight. It means that when the bell is heard and the fans wonder who is going to back their words up, they like you will see my takeover of this match. I know you're probably far more focused on the Tag Title Match you have coming on Overdrive. As you should be but you might as well make other plans because you beating Noble & Hart? That will happen the day I can smoke in the President's Oval Office getting a blowjob from his wife. She just looks like she can suck a mean dick..
Let's talk facts. Me versus You is like putting a Kitty Cat against a Jungle Cat, I'm tearing at your neck, gripping down the lock jaw and ripping your throat out...RRrrOAD HOUSE! So put on your kitty suit bitch cause I'm raw, you're just pathetic. I spit shit so unfair and real while you just spit shit. I'ma sever the weakest link, who not even in my pedigree while you shoot for the stars and realize you're dumb ass can't fly. This is your reality check Raab, you are a shame to your country, this business, and a shame to the entire Tag Division.
If you two are the Top Contenders, anyone looking in can see that the division is weak. Your promotion to Asylum was premature and I'ma downgrade the status of "Killerplauze" cause Pah-lease if you think your fucking with me in that ring. Pah-Leaze Bah-Leave that I'm stepping through the ropes looking to murder the opposition. No stalling, no stalking, just straight melting folks like I'm a Concentration Camp. I'm doing you like we was in prison and your ass is on the line. No Homo. Just be prepared to get fucked cause I'm horny for violent things..Kimahri Sees All, Fuck Your World.
The thought of a Jungle Cat stuck into Dangerous mind. Him being dressed as a kitty cat no longer sat well with him. His stomach groaned, he felt hungry but had no appetite. The sounds of the jungle began to grow as the night sky fell upon them. Kash switches on a flash light and places the beam in front of him. A low growl stops them both dead on their path.
Mr. Dangerous: I--
Jason Kash: Shhh...I think they smell you..
Mr. Dangerous: What?
Jason Kash: Didn't you notice the smell to that suit? I put 3 kinds of animal urine on it, wanted to see if we'd get some Live Action out here. You know, like that guy on Call of The Wild?
Mr. Dangerous: Forget this, you're not paying me enough to be out here this late wearing this piss smelling suit!
Jason Kash: Give me the camera..
Turning the camera on Dangerous, Kash is now getting to his very purpose. The face of Mr. Dangerous looks saddened. He looks like he is one nature sound away from crying and curling up into a ball until he's rescued. His eyes look every which direction, Kash catches all of his emotion filling his entire being as he stands there looking like a poor defenseless kitten.
Jason Kash: This is how I see you Raab. This is why he was paid. To come into a metaphorical realm and stand before a predator that can and will destroy him given the chance. As he looks around, wondering where the attack will come from it is you who will come to look just like him. In that ring, it's my jungle, my realm of hurt and I can come from any direction. To someone like you who is really only "Famous" in Germany, you cannot last. You real wife, Nike and your two daughters? They are embarrassed to even admit to you being their Father. Oh yeah Raab, I did my homework. I know you're married and have children.
I know you're the biggest Television Star in Germany but that's like being the brightest retard in Special Ed. Who fucking cares, it's Germany! The best thing to come out of Germany? I'm not sure I know the answer but it sure isn't you. You're own stupidity makes you disliked. Nothing you've done has gained attention though so let me be of some service. On Asylum after you've lost tag match after tag match and maybe begin to think that "Invasion" has been dismantled, you will find yourself questioning your entire career when I fuck up any Singles aspirations you might have. Reginald made a mistake wanting you and that mistake becomes punishable by the hands of me. The hands of Violence. The hands of suicide...
Mr. Dangerous: Are we done now, can we leave?
Jason Kash: As quickly as possible..The jungle scares the shit out of me!
Mr. Dangerous: You sure you don't wanna start singing Bare Necessities song? Rub your back against a tree or something?
Jason Kash: Oh shit, look at that snake!! Lets move, on the double Dangerous! Move it or lose it!!
Kash breaks past Dangerous and hauls ass in the direction they originally came from. Dangerous drops the camera, it hits the ground but catches their feet fading into the darkness.
Mr. Dangerous: I can't lie and say I wasn't surprised you called. Last we talked really was after I helped you lose the Tag Titles last year. I wasn't however expecting this...
Being handed the camera, Mr. Dangerous is dressed in a Kitty Costume. Much like the one Stefan Raab showcases for laughs. Dangerous had thought Kash wanted to hang out, catch up on old times even but not this. He did need the money though and Kash knew that. Had there been another job that he had for Dangerous, he'd have hired him for that instead. Today however, Kash needed a camera man. He was out in the Philippine Jungle and APW wouldn't supply him with a cameraman so he was making due.
Mr. Dangerous: So just point and shoot right? I'm not going to be climbing around like some cat am I?
Jason Kash: If I wanted you too maybe, remember not only do you owe me for losing MY Tag Belts last year but I'm paying you good money to be out here with me. You did want to move out of your Mother's basement didn't you? I'm providing you with the funds needed to do that. Okay?
Mr. Dangerous: Yeah...okay...
The crept into the depths of the jungle, leaving the dirt road where they had parked. Kash in his jungle gear, has a can of bug repellant in his hand, spraying whenever he can to get rid of the bird sized insects. The noises alone scare Dangerous and it's just starting to become dark outside. The freaks of nature will arise at nightfall and Kash was going to be prepared.
Jason Kash: You ready? Okay..Welcome Ladies and Gents! This is the first of hopefully many episodes of JK-TV and I'm the Host With The Most, The Influential One, Jason Kash! Behind the camera is the one, the only...Nevermind, he doesn't matter..
Mr. Dangerous: HEY!!
Jason Kash: On today's episode, we will explore the depths of the jungle! To see the different predators in their natural environment, something I, myself have been coming back too. Out here or inside the ring, there are two kinds of animals. Those who hunt and those who get hunted and while that life cycle goes in a full circle, for the purpose of this show and my upcoming match, I'm the hunter! Good LORD that's a big spider..let's move away from that..
Mr. Dangerous: So much for being the hunter huh?
Jason Kash: Shut up, spiders are not Animals. They don't count, everyone knows that...Where was I? Oh yeah, predators! By far the most dangerous thing in this jungle isn't Mr. Dangerous here but an animal that is known simply by "The Influential One" and let me tell you why. At any given time this beast can be defeated but unlike some, he can also at any time be one of the biggest threats to run the jungle. See it never mattered where I ended up when I signed to APW, it's where I wanted to be when I came to Asylum. Be it Asylum or even Overdrive and I'd have produced.
Now my opponent this next show, Stefan Raab? He didn't produce on Meltdown, he hasn't produced much of anything since he stepped on the scene. He's had excuse after excuse as to why he hasn't. Not his style of competition, it's different in APW...Whine is best served after a loss and while he's had many, going up against "The Influential One" will be his most murderous loss to date. He will be embarrassed, harassed, bullied, and put Under the Influence of defeat. Is that just a prediction? You be the judge, you see everything on paper and then see everything that counts going into this showdown and tell me who takes the jungle as their hunting grounds.
Stopping, Mr. Dangerous raises his hand. Kash looks at him like he's stupid but points at him to speak. The sounds of birds in the distance echos through the jungle as do other animal calls and whistles but Mr. Dangerous puts his hand down and asks his question.
Mr. Dangerous: Umm..Are you still talking about the jungle or using it as a metaphor to this match with Raab? I'm kind of confused..
Jason Kash: You live in your Mother's Basement, women still confuse you so shut up and just handle the equipment.
Mr. Dangerous: Wow, rude much?
Walking backwards, Kash turns face front and walks right into a spider web. He instantly goes into a scare, slapping and swiping away at the web stuck to his face. Dangerous still working the camera makes sure to get everything on tape. Possible Youtube Sensation right here as the camera bounces from the laughter coming from Mr. Dangerous. Kash removes the last bit and gives Dangerous a scalding glare before ducking under some bush.
Jason Kash: It strikes me funny at how European Invasion can be so confused. One minute their being cheered by the masses and now their trying to be "bad" when their attempts at being so have been laughable at best. Stefan Raab who isn't even a true athlete is a joke, a fucking joke and belongs in some Indy Fed at the very best. He's actually trying to sell on him having Memory Loss, like APW Officials will just let someone with a brain issue compete. He gives the fans reason to call this business phoney. This guy is a prime reason why people look at Pro Wrestling and see a circus. Nobody really takes either of you clowns serious but at least Yarmouth can step up and be a man about his joke of a career. What have either of you won really but that Contendership to the Tag Titles? You and him both have had shots at the North American Title but both of you fell flat.
You've lost more than Mr. Dangerous since you've been here, what does that say about your talent inside the ring Stefan? It says that you're in a world of surprise when we get together and fight. It means that when the bell is heard and the fans wonder who is going to back their words up, they like you will see my takeover of this match. I know you're probably far more focused on the Tag Title Match you have coming on Overdrive. As you should be but you might as well make other plans because you beating Noble & Hart? That will happen the day I can smoke in the President's Oval Office getting a blowjob from his wife. She just looks like she can suck a mean dick..
Let's talk facts. Me versus You is like putting a Kitty Cat against a Jungle Cat, I'm tearing at your neck, gripping down the lock jaw and ripping your throat out...RRrrOAD HOUSE! So put on your kitty suit bitch cause I'm raw, you're just pathetic. I spit shit so unfair and real while you just spit shit. I'ma sever the weakest link, who not even in my pedigree while you shoot for the stars and realize you're dumb ass can't fly. This is your reality check Raab, you are a shame to your country, this business, and a shame to the entire Tag Division.
If you two are the Top Contenders, anyone looking in can see that the division is weak. Your promotion to Asylum was premature and I'ma downgrade the status of "Killerplauze" cause Pah-lease if you think your fucking with me in that ring. Pah-Leaze Bah-Leave that I'm stepping through the ropes looking to murder the opposition. No stalling, no stalking, just straight melting folks like I'm a Concentration Camp. I'm doing you like we was in prison and your ass is on the line. No Homo. Just be prepared to get fucked cause I'm horny for violent things..Kimahri Sees All, Fuck Your World.
The thought of a Jungle Cat stuck into Dangerous mind. Him being dressed as a kitty cat no longer sat well with him. His stomach groaned, he felt hungry but had no appetite. The sounds of the jungle began to grow as the night sky fell upon them. Kash switches on a flash light and places the beam in front of him. A low growl stops them both dead on their path.
Mr. Dangerous: I--
Jason Kash: Shhh...I think they smell you..
Mr. Dangerous: What?
Jason Kash: Didn't you notice the smell to that suit? I put 3 kinds of animal urine on it, wanted to see if we'd get some Live Action out here. You know, like that guy on Call of The Wild?
Mr. Dangerous: Forget this, you're not paying me enough to be out here this late wearing this piss smelling suit!
Jason Kash: Give me the camera..
Turning the camera on Dangerous, Kash is now getting to his very purpose. The face of Mr. Dangerous looks saddened. He looks like he is one nature sound away from crying and curling up into a ball until he's rescued. His eyes look every which direction, Kash catches all of his emotion filling his entire being as he stands there looking like a poor defenseless kitten.
Jason Kash: This is how I see you Raab. This is why he was paid. To come into a metaphorical realm and stand before a predator that can and will destroy him given the chance. As he looks around, wondering where the attack will come from it is you who will come to look just like him. In that ring, it's my jungle, my realm of hurt and I can come from any direction. To someone like you who is really only "Famous" in Germany, you cannot last. You real wife, Nike and your two daughters? They are embarrassed to even admit to you being their Father. Oh yeah Raab, I did my homework. I know you're married and have children.
I know you're the biggest Television Star in Germany but that's like being the brightest retard in Special Ed. Who fucking cares, it's Germany! The best thing to come out of Germany? I'm not sure I know the answer but it sure isn't you. You're own stupidity makes you disliked. Nothing you've done has gained attention though so let me be of some service. On Asylum after you've lost tag match after tag match and maybe begin to think that "Invasion" has been dismantled, you will find yourself questioning your entire career when I fuck up any Singles aspirations you might have. Reginald made a mistake wanting you and that mistake becomes punishable by the hands of me. The hands of Violence. The hands of suicide...
Mr. Dangerous: Are we done now, can we leave?
Jason Kash: As quickly as possible..The jungle scares the shit out of me!
Mr. Dangerous: You sure you don't wanna start singing Bare Necessities song? Rub your back against a tree or something?
Jason Kash: Oh shit, look at that snake!! Lets move, on the double Dangerous! Move it or lose it!!
Kash breaks past Dangerous and hauls ass in the direction they originally came from. Dangerous drops the camera, it hits the ground but catches their feet fading into the darkness.
