Volume #2 -- The Adventures of Snakeboy

[ComiKaze]

volume two
THE ADVENTURES OF SNAKEBOY

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--- THE LAIR
LOCATION, UNKNOWN


In what appears to be an abandoned warehouse, the crime fighting duo, Snakeboy and Red Crow crouched down on one knee in front of a man cloaked in black clutching a cane. Both of them have their head hung in shame as the man stands tall over them making his opinions felt.

“This week was meant to be glorious. You were both meant to make an impact on Meltdown, something that hadn’t been seen before and yet you fail at the first hurdle.” The man in black beats his cane down on the floor.

“B-- B-- But we nearly had them boss” mutters Red Crow from beneath his mask.

“Nearly isn’t good enough. You knew exactly what your role was, and that is to make it know you will be flying through the ranks to capture the tag team titles, and with this defeat it looks like you'll never get there.” The man in black begins to pace back and forth turning his back on the duo.

“But that Aubrey, she is one smoking chick, she put me off my ga--”

“SILENCE!” screams the man in black. “I didn't ask for your pathetic excuses. Why is it always you doing the talking, can your ‘boy’ not speak for himself?” The man in black points his cane at Snakeboy who looks up at him and just stares. “I asked you a question. Now answer me boy!” The man in black brings his cane crashing down to the floor, just missing Snakeboy as he does.

“Hissssss” replies Snakeboy not breaking his glance.

“Its not his fault boss...” says the Red Crow interrupting as he can see the anger building. “Hes a mute I think. Well he has never spoken as long as I have know him.”

“A mute!?” questions a puzzled man in black. “Then how the hell does he communicate?”

“Hissssssss” replies Snakeboy

“Through hissing I guess. We have just always had a connection” says the red Crow interrupting once again. “But as I was saying, Aubrey is one hot chick, the way she moves, the way she laughs, the way she smi---”

“SILENCE!” screams the man in black at the top of his voice. “You are not here to have feelings, you are here for one job, and one job only and if you can't do that then I will find someone else to complete this mission.” The man in black raises his cane and points it at the duo.

“You need to realise that there are more important things in life, making people fear you so you can crush them with one blow, making sure that people know who you are. I rescued you from the streets and brought you here because I heard great things of you, and you are yet to show me them. I expect you to get the job done and I expect you to start doing them now.” he says as the cane comes crashing down one more time.

“Yes boss.” replies the Red Crow.

“Hissssss” responds Snakeboy.

“Now get out of my sight until I summon you again.” with that said the man in black moves over to his chair and sits, swivelling to watch some footage on a screen.

“Dick...” mutters the Red Crow unders his breath as he and Snakeboy get to their feet. As they do, the man in black turns around on his chair to see that the duo have vanished.

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FLASHBACK

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Somewhere in California
Years ago


A Recreational Vehicle is parked up in the desert, with no electrical hook up the engine just about powers the light which flickers on the outside of the van. A calm and quiet evening is ruined by the sound of a child screaming in the background, not that it bothers the overweight man who has passed out on a reclining deck chair in front of the RV.

The boy is running around the RV and sees something off in the distance that catches his eye. He stops for a second and looks over at his dad.

“Hey dad..” There is no response from the man. “DAD!!!” the boys screams get louder, but the man is yet to move.

“Everytime we come away...” mutters the small boy under his breath. he turns his attention to the door of the RV and screams once more. “Hey Mom! Dads passed out again, I'm going out for a bit, I'll be back later...”

With that said the door of the RV swings open and a middle aged lady with rollers in her hair, a cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth and a bottle of cheap liquor clutched tightly in her hand nearly falls from the raised step.

“WHAAAAT! I wa reading ma stories!“ she bellows slurring her words.

“Never mind mom, i'll be back later” says the boy disheartened. His mom looks over at him and holds out here crooked finger before mumbling something at him.

“You be causing no trouble you li---” before she finishes her sentence the cigarette drops from her mouth as she raises the bottle to her lips. She spins and staggers back into the RV.

“Yeah, Ill be no trouble” murmurs the boy before bending over and picking up a handful of stones from the ground. “I'll be no trouble at all.” With that said he throws the stones at his Dad before running off down a track laughing, his father still snoring and only moving to swat flies away.


---MOMENTS LATER


The boy has wandered from his home from the weekend and has followed the bright colours that he saw before. Approaching them he sees that it was some fast food wrappers blowing in some of the bushes, not as exciting as he first thought. Reaching down he releases them from the bush and lets them blow off in the wind, as he does this something grabs his attention out of the corner of his eye.

A snake.

The snake just lays there minding his own business, basking in the cool air when the boy seems to have an idea. He scours the area and sees nothing of interest, so he begins to dismantle the bush breaking off any twigs that he can.

Picking up one of the twigs that is rather large, he holds it out like a sword and takes a step back.

“Ha ha! On guard snake!!” shouts the boy as he lunges forward hitting the snake on the head with the twig. “Ha! take that!” the boy laughs to himself as he lunges forward once more connecting with the snake yet again.

The snake begins to slither and coils backwards raising its head in the air almost standing at the attack position. The boy once again laughs and goes to hit the snake again.

The snake who seems to have had enough on this charade strikes at the boy not connecting but knocking him backwards onto his ass in the bushes. The boys laugh changes to a bit of a whimper as he tries to compose himself. He reaches round to try and find the stick that was knocked from his hand while keeping one eye on the snake.

His hand brushes over a few things before his grasp tightens and he picks up what he thinks to be his stick. Something doesn't feel quite right, this stick isn't hard and coarse, its slippery and scaly. He slowly moves his hand up to his eye level without looking down.

“AHHHHHHHHH SHITTTTTTT!” screams the boy as the top of his voice.

Staring him straight in the eyes and hissing at him is another snake who was hidden beneath the bushes. Frozen, he fails to release the snake and continues to scream before the snake hisses one last time and strikes at the boy. The boy falls backwards and throws the snake high up into the air after it connects,the screams are slowly muffled. The snake hits the ground and slithers off into the distance.

Its a few moments before the boy sits up and composes himself, he tries to let out a scream but is unable. His mouth fully swollen he cups his hands over it as he gets to his feet, running back for whatever sympathy he can get from him Mom and dad.

I guess the moral of this story is that if your mom and dad are useless drunks...

DONT FUCK WITH A SNAKE.

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FLASHBACK

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--- MOMENTS AFTER LEAVING “THE LAIR”
LOCATION, UNKNOWN

We catch up with the duo after they have made a quick escape from the boss’s lair. There seems to be some banter going on, but the Red Crow is controlling the situation. He seems to have a spring in his step and is bouncing around.

“See, I told you he would go mental because we lost last week. If only you had performed better then maybe we would be on his good side.” Snakeboy glares at the Red Crow who immediately pulls back his statement. “Ok, so maybe it wasn't all your fault, but this week we cannot fail; YOU cannot fail." The Red Crow looks concerned but it is masked by his mask. Snakeboy is just wandering close to him and kicking bits of garbage that are on the floor.

“Hissssss” hisses Snakeboy.

“Yeah, i know what you mean, we need to do something special. Maybe that Aubrey chick like chocolates...” The Red Crow is interrupted by Snakeboy

“Hissssss” Snakeboy holds his arm and and grabs hold of the Red Crow.

“Yeah, maybe you are right, she looks more like a flowers kind of girl...”

“Hissssssssss” the hissing becomes louder as Snakeboy shakes his head at the Red Crow.

“Alright, i'll put it on the back burner until Meltdown is over. Anyway, you got her boy Logan this week, you better be running scared because if you fail, the boss will be after you. I get a feeling he isn't a fan of snakes.” remarks the Red Crow. Snakeboy just glares at him and continues to kick a can down the street.

“We need to come up with a game plan, and if these damn people would keep the noise down, maybe we can think...” a commotion begins to build in the background as a man comes hurtling towards the duo. As he approaches, they try to move out of the way as does the man but he collides bundling himself and Snakeboy to the floor.

“DUDE!!” screams The Red Crow. “That shit was awesome! Are you ok? Let me help you up.” The Red Crow leans down and helps the man to his feet. The man brushes him off and looks around. The contents of his bag have been spilled on the floor as he desperately tries to gather them. Snakeboy does his best to grab a few of the items before passing them to the man.

“Hisssssss”

“Sorry about that, I guess we should watch where we are going.” Comments the Red Crow.

“Too right. Now give me the rest of my stuff.” says the man angrily as he snatches the rest of the belongings. A noise in the background becomes louder and the man turns to run. The Red Crow notices a purse still lying on the ground, reaching down to pick it up he calls out the the man who bumped into them.

“Hey dude, you forgot th---” before he can finish his sentence the man has disappeared around the corner. “Nevermind. Nice guy though.” The Red Crow smiles at Snakeboy and helps him from the ground brushing off some dirt as he does. The look at each other and shrug their shoulders continuing to walk down the street. The commotion continues as a lady and police officer come running around the corner and see the duo.

“Hey, you two. Come here” bellows the officer as he approaches. “Have you seen a man running past carrying a bag?” He questions.

“Yeah, nice dude. He bumped into us, so we helped him on his way.” replies the Red Crow.

“You Idiots!” comments the officer. “He stole this ladys bag, we were trying to stop him.” The officer shakes his head.” “Which way did he go?”

Snakeboy holds out his arm and points down the street. The officer looks and turns as if to carry on his pursuit.

“Idiots. Oh nice costumes, Halloween is weeks away though, its a bit early for trick or treating.” The officer turns and begins to run away as he has been stopped in his tracks for no reason. The Red Crow turns to snake boy as the officer at a safe distance.

“Costumes? He's the idiot, maybe if he had time he could have had the purse back.” says the Red Crow holding the purse out to Snakeboy.

“If people had any sense they would realise these aren’t costumes! Now back to business. Meltdown. It sucks to be you, Logan will be out for your blood this week and honestly I dont see you beating him” Snakeboy glares at the red Crow. “Well not without a little bit of help. You see, I would help but my hands are going to be more than full while I ‘take care’ of Aubrey on the outside.” The Red Crow laughs and holds his hands up cupping his chest. “If ya know what I mean! Dude, high five!” Crow holds his hand high in the air but is left hanging by Snakeboy.

“Fine, I get it. Anyway, our plan of attack, we need to make sure Aubrey is at least distracted so we can gain the upper hand, this is where my plan comes together. We need to separate her from Logan so that we can play the numbers game and thats where my romantic side comes in. Its a win win situation for us both and that will propel us to where we need to be. You see, M&M are next in line for a title shot, we need to make sure they don't get it.” Red Crow looks at Snakeboy to see if he is following, Snakeboy nods his approval.

“See, Logan may have a list of accomplishments as long as my arm, but he doesn't have the style. I am surprised he isn't banging Aubrey, he must chase the sausage or something like that.” The Red Crow laughs at his own joke, Snakeboy just looks on and facepalms himself.

“Look buddy, they won’t know what hit them and we will soon be chasing that dragon all the way to the top. They may be better in looks and style and actual wrestling ability, but look at us, earlier we helped a guy retrieve his belongings, we helped a police officer and we showed that we are cool guys, what do they do? They walk around with massive egos thinking they are the next big thing, well we have to show them that M&M’s have had their day, they are no longer cool and the animated version of them sucks.. See, I am thinking big here, forget the boss wanting the tag team titles, we can move onto bigger and better things once we establish ourselves, comic books, tv shows, movies!” Red crow pauses at the thought of hitting the big time.

“Hisssssss” Snakeboy hisses at the thought of making it big.

“Exactly buddy, Movie stars! Batman and Robin have nothing on us. Nothing against Robin in anyway, but thats who you would be. I’m too good looking to play the sidekick.”

“HISSSSSSS!” Snakeboy interrupts with a loud hiss.

“Alright, Alright we can be equal, but I drive the car. Speaking of cars we need to get us one, it would beat walking any day. Well work on that after you make light work of Logan, and I try to get my date for the prom!” The Red Crow laughs once more as Snakeboy ignores him, trying to speed the pace up so that he is not walking alongside him.