Post by Jason Cashe on Sept 17, 2012 1:40:28 GMT -4
Massage Therapist: I say we no do dat here! Get out NOW!
Jason Kash: Srrious? No Happy Endings? What kind of low budget establishment is this!! Where's Sally when you need a good tug job? Heh (Hi Sally, been a while huh?)
A wallet flies out the front doors of a Massage Parlor as the scene opens. Being pushed by a very small and fragile looking woman, Kash exits the building. Mr. Dangerous standing outside holding the camera, laughing at Kash as he picks up his wallet from the street.
Mr. Dangerous: Did you really expect to get lucky? I think it's just a rumor of there being Happy Endings in the Philippines. Maybe even a bit racist..
Jason Kash: I'm not racist, I've stuck it in plenty of colors. My ex-wife is Mexican. That bitch was just judgmental because I have some teeth missing. I told her "Sucky Sucky, Dollar Dollar" and that bottle of lotion exploded. Like I did something wrong...Let's get out of here.
As they walk down the little town their holed up in, the buildings are poorly built. Some so rundown that the roofs have holes in them. Even being in town you can hear the calls of the nearby jungle. Elephants often being used as pets in this part of the world, Kash has been wanting to ride an elephant but his first night here he had actually slept. In his dream he watched and laughed as Stefan Raab got stepped on by an Elephant and since then he's wanted to befriend one himself.
Mr. Dangerous: Who would you rather face?
Jason Kash: What?
Coming out of his little spaced out zone. Kash hadn't heard the question entirely. He knew Dangerous had spoke but the words sounded more like Charlie Brown's teachers or The Sims Game Language than actual words.
Mr. Dangerous: Who would you rather face? For the Suicidal Championship, who'd you rather defend it against?
Jason Kash: You know what? It doesn't even matter who wins the #1 Contendership to MY Suicidal Championship. Why? It's simple, I will fuck either of them dudes up. They both might dislike me now but the winner of this match? I'll give them PLENTY of reasons to hate me. I will become the horror of their fears. Stefan Raab is just a bump in the road, he's not even worth a mention but since he is booked to face me, he will get his turn and become a Pawn in my progression. To make this match more important, to give it some actual attention I will not only promise Victory but I will be giving the world a taste.
Mr. Dangerous: A Taste of what, should I be disgusted?
Jason Kash: I'm not finished fucker, shut up! What I was saying is that I'll give people a taste of whats to come. See I know that with my violent streak, the U.T.I. isn't exactly a violent move. I could never get rid of it because it's brought me Grand Slam. It's the move that brought my success to it's current status. However now I need to add something more to this violence I'm returning to Asylum. So for Stefan Raab, he and the world can expect to see a new finish.
A new ending to his existence in the match against me. I will debut this move when I put Raab away and it will destroy him. It will put him under the ring, crushed by the weight of the world that I have helped carry. Asylum is a show that I've helped bring into a new era and it's on my shoulders that it returns to it's violent roots. Raab cannot prevent it, he cannot delay it and will only be consumed by it. Watch for The Grand Slam because it will be the cause of so many people's pain and agony.
On the ground with some dirt and wetness to it's cover is a Porn Magazine. It has an Asian Girl on it dressed like a School Girl. Kash leans over and plucks it from the ground. He never understood people's want and desire for a girl who looks and plays at being 12. It reminds him of something that makes him laugh as Dangerous looks on in question, his eyebrows raised wanting to see the magazine himself.
Mr. Dangerous: Hey, hey, can you show me?
Jason Kash: No, you can see it when everyone else does. You're not special. Well not the right kind of special.
Mr. Dangerous: I meant the magazine...Oh wait, HEY!!
Jason Kash: Hey is for Horses but I guess that works for Stefan Raab as well. This dude really needs to stop being such a contradiction. Look this dude up, search his name, dig up some homework and you'll find his girlfriend isn't named Fizz but Nike. As in "Just Do It" and he has children but right now if you're listening to his wrestling career..He's becoming a Father with a chick going by Fizz which if I may say, he's got some weird choice in women with strange names. Besides the point though. This guy must HATE the fact that with all his work, all his Television appearances and shows he's got on German Television that he STILL isn't David Hasselhoff famous by his own people. Hell, just the fact that David Hasselhoff is famous period like he is in Germany tells what kind of people come from Germany. NOTHING.
So in this match, on this show I'm suppose to pretend I've got a threat inside the ring with me? I'm suppose to act like there is something he can somehow do better than me? Horse Pussy! I ain't bullshitting anyone including myself and I don't do well pretending. Unlike Raab, this business is very serious to me and those who get in my way, those who want to derail what I've worked for and helped grow into..Well unless you've really got the talent to back it up, I will tear right through you like a wet paper bag.
Like a Jedi to a Common Man, I will slice through you and leave you feeling burned, melted. I'm far too primal if I was putting it in your own words. This isn't WEW or ASWF where the small fish nibble on small prizes. This is APW where the very best come to showcase their skills. The Nobles, the Harts, the Borderlands, the Livelys, and yes, the Kashs. These names have earned their place because of what they can do inside the ring, not what they claim can be done. They go out there and do it and all you've done is just talk about it.
Actually, my bad. You've yet to talk about anything but on Twitter where you can change your pictures to fit your moods. Talk a big game about how you feel sorry for your next opponent but know and understand that Twitter Feuds don't win you anything, this isn't Fantasy Wrestling, this happens to be the real thing and you've stepped on a land mine. When you move one step in the wrong direction, I am your explosion and I'll leave your head in the front row and your body at ringside before you beat me. Just won't happen.
Mr. Dangerous: Hey, I have a question. Growing up who were your Role Models? Who'd you look up too?
Jason Kash: Honestly? Al Bundy and Michael Myers. Probably my two favorite Hollywood Icons still to this day. I watch Married With Children every morning, reruns ya know? It's kind of funny because I clown on people with an Al Bundy sense of humor and put people through hell like Myers. Raab is in for such a roller coaster ride come Asylum...
Quezon City was a good drive away from their current location. Kash hadn't wanted to be in another City and wanted to get away. Find the depth of the culture and get a feel for the real sides of the Philippines. This might not be that entirely but it was enough to fill his needs. As he looked at the people, the buildings and how everything looks almost deserted. He thought it felt like him and the fans. How they turned on him, booed him when he hurt someone considered "good" and it irked him. Kash stops at the side of a building and it's covered in graffiti. His head tilts from side to side trying to figure out what it says or represents but to no avail.
Jason Kash: Raab, I don't much care what you have to say now. It will come with little concern to me because all that needs to be said was said by me. All the truths of how things are, how you are and all that matters is when I beat you, I move on and you go back to the drawing board. Not only for your Singles career in APW but in your Tag Team as well.
Whats left for you to even attempt to accomplish? You couldn't win on Meltdown and you will not win on my behalf here on Asylum. Life comes with surprises but you winning here is as possible as Dragons once flying the skies of the world. It's nice to think about, to hope for and watch Fantasy Movies for but it's just not reality. Your reality will come fast, it will come hard and violent. It will come Grand and unstoppable, at least with your talent tree.
One Night In Hell slowly comes and that show is very important to me. It was there I became the APW World Champion for the first time. It was there that the career of Rico Casteel began to dwindle down to nothing. Where Sally Talfourd found herself up against an Influence she wasn't prepared to compete against. It was where I broke apart an old friend in Tommy Knoxville and made him disappear. Jair Hopkins or Johnny Sykes.
One of those men will be my opponent for this year's installment. I've been to Hell and back and I didn't just bring home a T-Shirt and for this year's show the people, the wrestlers backstage will see me go overboard. I'm not just going to win at ONIH. I'm going to murder someone, completely end their importance, ruin their careers. This I promise, this I will do because soon all things will be Foul. I will consume my opponent with the hunger for blood.
Taking a knife from his pocket, Kash opens the blade and holds his open palm out. He makes a slice across the palm and steps to the side of the building. He rubs the blood from his cut around, covering his entire palm with his own blood. He slaps the bloody palm to the wall and holds it against the rough siding. Removing his hand there is a print left behind. He fingers the bloody print on the wall and finally steps back. Grinning, he showing his front missing teeth as the the Handprint comes into view and it seems Kash drew in a skull to the palm.
Jason Kash: Srrious? No Happy Endings? What kind of low budget establishment is this!! Where's Sally when you need a good tug job? Heh (Hi Sally, been a while huh?)
A wallet flies out the front doors of a Massage Parlor as the scene opens. Being pushed by a very small and fragile looking woman, Kash exits the building. Mr. Dangerous standing outside holding the camera, laughing at Kash as he picks up his wallet from the street.
Mr. Dangerous: Did you really expect to get lucky? I think it's just a rumor of there being Happy Endings in the Philippines. Maybe even a bit racist..
Jason Kash: I'm not racist, I've stuck it in plenty of colors. My ex-wife is Mexican. That bitch was just judgmental because I have some teeth missing. I told her "Sucky Sucky, Dollar Dollar" and that bottle of lotion exploded. Like I did something wrong...Let's get out of here.
As they walk down the little town their holed up in, the buildings are poorly built. Some so rundown that the roofs have holes in them. Even being in town you can hear the calls of the nearby jungle. Elephants often being used as pets in this part of the world, Kash has been wanting to ride an elephant but his first night here he had actually slept. In his dream he watched and laughed as Stefan Raab got stepped on by an Elephant and since then he's wanted to befriend one himself.
Mr. Dangerous: Who would you rather face?
Jason Kash: What?
Coming out of his little spaced out zone. Kash hadn't heard the question entirely. He knew Dangerous had spoke but the words sounded more like Charlie Brown's teachers or The Sims Game Language than actual words.
Mr. Dangerous: Who would you rather face? For the Suicidal Championship, who'd you rather defend it against?
Jason Kash: You know what? It doesn't even matter who wins the #1 Contendership to MY Suicidal Championship. Why? It's simple, I will fuck either of them dudes up. They both might dislike me now but the winner of this match? I'll give them PLENTY of reasons to hate me. I will become the horror of their fears. Stefan Raab is just a bump in the road, he's not even worth a mention but since he is booked to face me, he will get his turn and become a Pawn in my progression. To make this match more important, to give it some actual attention I will not only promise Victory but I will be giving the world a taste.
Mr. Dangerous: A Taste of what, should I be disgusted?
Jason Kash: I'm not finished fucker, shut up! What I was saying is that I'll give people a taste of whats to come. See I know that with my violent streak, the U.T.I. isn't exactly a violent move. I could never get rid of it because it's brought me Grand Slam. It's the move that brought my success to it's current status. However now I need to add something more to this violence I'm returning to Asylum. So for Stefan Raab, he and the world can expect to see a new finish.
A new ending to his existence in the match against me. I will debut this move when I put Raab away and it will destroy him. It will put him under the ring, crushed by the weight of the world that I have helped carry. Asylum is a show that I've helped bring into a new era and it's on my shoulders that it returns to it's violent roots. Raab cannot prevent it, he cannot delay it and will only be consumed by it. Watch for The Grand Slam because it will be the cause of so many people's pain and agony.
On the ground with some dirt and wetness to it's cover is a Porn Magazine. It has an Asian Girl on it dressed like a School Girl. Kash leans over and plucks it from the ground. He never understood people's want and desire for a girl who looks and plays at being 12. It reminds him of something that makes him laugh as Dangerous looks on in question, his eyebrows raised wanting to see the magazine himself.
Mr. Dangerous: Hey, hey, can you show me?
Jason Kash: No, you can see it when everyone else does. You're not special. Well not the right kind of special.
Mr. Dangerous: I meant the magazine...Oh wait, HEY!!
Jason Kash: Hey is for Horses but I guess that works for Stefan Raab as well. This dude really needs to stop being such a contradiction. Look this dude up, search his name, dig up some homework and you'll find his girlfriend isn't named Fizz but Nike. As in "Just Do It" and he has children but right now if you're listening to his wrestling career..He's becoming a Father with a chick going by Fizz which if I may say, he's got some weird choice in women with strange names. Besides the point though. This guy must HATE the fact that with all his work, all his Television appearances and shows he's got on German Television that he STILL isn't David Hasselhoff famous by his own people. Hell, just the fact that David Hasselhoff is famous period like he is in Germany tells what kind of people come from Germany. NOTHING.
So in this match, on this show I'm suppose to pretend I've got a threat inside the ring with me? I'm suppose to act like there is something he can somehow do better than me? Horse Pussy! I ain't bullshitting anyone including myself and I don't do well pretending. Unlike Raab, this business is very serious to me and those who get in my way, those who want to derail what I've worked for and helped grow into..Well unless you've really got the talent to back it up, I will tear right through you like a wet paper bag.
Like a Jedi to a Common Man, I will slice through you and leave you feeling burned, melted. I'm far too primal if I was putting it in your own words. This isn't WEW or ASWF where the small fish nibble on small prizes. This is APW where the very best come to showcase their skills. The Nobles, the Harts, the Borderlands, the Livelys, and yes, the Kashs. These names have earned their place because of what they can do inside the ring, not what they claim can be done. They go out there and do it and all you've done is just talk about it.
Actually, my bad. You've yet to talk about anything but on Twitter where you can change your pictures to fit your moods. Talk a big game about how you feel sorry for your next opponent but know and understand that Twitter Feuds don't win you anything, this isn't Fantasy Wrestling, this happens to be the real thing and you've stepped on a land mine. When you move one step in the wrong direction, I am your explosion and I'll leave your head in the front row and your body at ringside before you beat me. Just won't happen.
Mr. Dangerous: Hey, I have a question. Growing up who were your Role Models? Who'd you look up too?
Jason Kash: Honestly? Al Bundy and Michael Myers. Probably my two favorite Hollywood Icons still to this day. I watch Married With Children every morning, reruns ya know? It's kind of funny because I clown on people with an Al Bundy sense of humor and put people through hell like Myers. Raab is in for such a roller coaster ride come Asylum...
Quezon City was a good drive away from their current location. Kash hadn't wanted to be in another City and wanted to get away. Find the depth of the culture and get a feel for the real sides of the Philippines. This might not be that entirely but it was enough to fill his needs. As he looked at the people, the buildings and how everything looks almost deserted. He thought it felt like him and the fans. How they turned on him, booed him when he hurt someone considered "good" and it irked him. Kash stops at the side of a building and it's covered in graffiti. His head tilts from side to side trying to figure out what it says or represents but to no avail.
Jason Kash: Raab, I don't much care what you have to say now. It will come with little concern to me because all that needs to be said was said by me. All the truths of how things are, how you are and all that matters is when I beat you, I move on and you go back to the drawing board. Not only for your Singles career in APW but in your Tag Team as well.
Whats left for you to even attempt to accomplish? You couldn't win on Meltdown and you will not win on my behalf here on Asylum. Life comes with surprises but you winning here is as possible as Dragons once flying the skies of the world. It's nice to think about, to hope for and watch Fantasy Movies for but it's just not reality. Your reality will come fast, it will come hard and violent. It will come Grand and unstoppable, at least with your talent tree.
One Night In Hell slowly comes and that show is very important to me. It was there I became the APW World Champion for the first time. It was there that the career of Rico Casteel began to dwindle down to nothing. Where Sally Talfourd found herself up against an Influence she wasn't prepared to compete against. It was where I broke apart an old friend in Tommy Knoxville and made him disappear. Jair Hopkins or Johnny Sykes.
One of those men will be my opponent for this year's installment. I've been to Hell and back and I didn't just bring home a T-Shirt and for this year's show the people, the wrestlers backstage will see me go overboard. I'm not just going to win at ONIH. I'm going to murder someone, completely end their importance, ruin their careers. This I promise, this I will do because soon all things will be Foul. I will consume my opponent with the hunger for blood.
Taking a knife from his pocket, Kash opens the blade and holds his open palm out. He makes a slice across the palm and steps to the side of the building. He rubs the blood from his cut around, covering his entire palm with his own blood. He slaps the bloody palm to the wall and holds it against the rough siding. Removing his hand there is a print left behind. He fingers the bloody print on the wall and finally steps back. Grinning, he showing his front missing teeth as the the Handprint comes into view and it seems Kash drew in a skull to the palm.
