Meltdown 10/1 Feedback

[Johnny Rebel]

Thanks to Slade, Kash, Envi and TMarv for writing matches this week.

Segment bonuses go to Lively, M&M (Parker and Alexander), Young Mannie, The Krunk, Shannell Lewis, and Evan Envi.

I can speak for both Biggs and President Jeff that we work really hard to make sure shows go up on time, and are quality results. This is a hobby that we all enjoy but sometimes does require a little bit of work. We would all appreciate feedback, both positive, and negative (if constructive...don't be a jerk!).

It helps me become a better GM, helps the roster become better RP'ers and match writers improve their craft. So, let 'er rip and hope you enjoyed the show!

[Vincent Pennington]

Very well written matches, and I see feuds growing up before my eyes in meltdown lol. I'm glad I came out of my 2 year retirement

[The Soul Of Philly]

I had written up a feedback last week after I had reviewed Asylum, I had it all in the quick reply and my browser closed I lost it all and I got upset at the forums and I took it out on Meltdown.

This week on the other hand...

FEEDBACK!

- First things first, Lively, if you're going to insult the crowd's football team's record, make sure it's current. You said they have the same record as the Jags...but they don't as of yesterday. On to the actual segment, I loved it, it was quick and made you doubt if they Main Event was going to go on. I would have either thrown the show to commercial or a backstage segment after this because throwing it to ringside from ringside is weird, especially when you have the announcers acknowledge that.

- Good opening match, I saw this coming, but I loved it. One thing for Kash, the winners of the match are missing from the match. No Nicky Paige saying it, no Winner: Educated Money. That said, it was a good opening match, my favorite part is that Educated Money put the finishing touches on him. It wasn't the Grand Slam or the Asylum Kick that lead to a pin it was Dubious' cutter that did it. I'm excited for this tag team in the future and they're off to a good start.

- This was a pet peeve of mine with Kash and he figured out how to get rid of it within his story, but WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED ON LIVE TV!?! Seriously, Mannie should have been arrested on the spot. He should have been suspended, it makes Meltdown look lawless. I get it's your gimmick, but on LIVE TV, he's smoking weed. WEED. ILLEGAL, DRUG-POLICY-BREAKING, WEED!

Onto the actual segment, I liked it. Getting Mannie, a major player on Meltdown with a new person. I like it. If Mannie wasn't Mannie, I'd have a problem that he just outright asks her out, but it's Mannie, he smokes weed on TV! I kid, seriously, happy to see some new blood mixing with the old heads.

- Good enhancement match for Shanell, honestly, wasn't a fan of this tek guy, this was his second no-show in three bookings. Great to see what comes next for you Shanell

- I liked the Krunk segment until he said..."I'm not prepared for the match. I woke up and almost forgot I had a match." I know you no-showed due to real life workload, but that's no reason to have your guy come out looking unprofessional as all hell. And from there, just went down hill. Saying Ryan Collins beat only jobbers, which you never hear any real wrestler say that because Jobber is a "inside" term. you say jobbers and the "causual audience watching" meltdown would be like, what's a jobber. The entire segment was head scratching, I thought Krunk was a face but it was very heelish what he said.

Also, the other thing that really ticked me off was running down Evan Envi why? because in character, that's a "main" roster guy whose been appearing on your show. When Jules came down to Meltdown, I stepped up first because, in character, what's a better way to show that i belong on one of the "main" shows then standing toe to toe with one of the champions and standing out. Easy answer, there's not better way. If you know Evan's going to be on Meltdown, then PM him ask if you can have a small segment or something. It stands out to not only Rebel that you're doing a segment with Evan, or any one from Overdrive or Asylum for that matter, you also stand out to Jeff and Biggs and when it comes to draft time post PPVs or whenever they decide to draft, they look at you stepping up and working with the main roster guys who come back to Meltdown as taking that extra step.

- Good lord. I think I made the right choice in following AJP on twitter haha. That was some promo from M&M. I loved the continued teases for what M&M stands for. I loved it. I don't think there was a thing I didn't like about this promo. For some reason I always got that they were heels, but really, they're not according to the fans, but West, the face commentator, doesn't like them, which normally means they're heel. I really hope that you two get a tag title shot soon. You guys play off each other great and thats what it takes to be a tag TEAM.

- Now when Lively comes out, business picked up, despite it being short, it meant much more because it wasn't just ego bragging, it had some meat to it. I liked the timer to ONIH, great touch.

- I liked the finished for the 4 way. Wasn't sure if Logan was just going to get the win or not, creative way to end the match and I loved it. Congrats to CS for that win and moving on to ONIH

- I like the Sienna segment talking about the recent actions on Overdrive. Sets up what could happen the next time Evan is on Meltdown

- Solid tag match, with Mannie being the only one to show, which disappointed me because I was really digging Comikaze and hopefully it's just a one time thing. Good win for Mannie.

- Great segment from AJP and LA. Continues the idea that they wont do press from West or Storm and got over the idea that at ONIH, Lively likely won't be walking out with the title due to EVERYONE being after him and then everyone else.

- OH LOARD! VINCE WAS ONCE A 6'9'' WOMAN! EVAN SAID IT! IT'S TRUE! I liked the bit before the match, playing head games with Vince.

- Great main event once against from Evan. Great back and forth and the post match help make Vince look strong at the end of the show.

5 no shows, one explained, but 4 not, which kinds irks me, Especially since it's two people who have no showed before, a guy on his second show and Comikaze. Weeding out the weak I guess, but that happens with every group, you get one good person for every 3 or 4 schmucks. Every now and then you get a group like Vince, AJP, and LA who come in at the same time and contribute or a group like me Jair Raab Yarmouth Evan who contribute. So let it be a lesson newbs, CONTRIBUTE AND YOU GET RECOGNIZED! Easy as that. You show up, you write a match or two a month, send a segment in every show and the big guys will see you.

So it's shaping up at ONIH Lively vs Vince vs Krunk vs Mannie vs AJP vs LA right? Anyone else I missed?

It was great show and minus the bit at the beginning of the show with throwing it to ring side from ring side, flowed good, never got an over flow of segments very balanced, which with matches summarized on Meltdown, it's easy to overflow on the segments.

[Shadow]

I enjoyed reading the show. Too bad I had to take a week off, but I look forward to coming back into the swing next Monday, especially with One Night in Hell looming in the distance.

Segments, Lively always a crowd pisser offer, gotta respect that. Someone who knows how to work the crowd like that should be writing material for real stuff. Its a shame WWE only steals ideas from Efeds and doesnt actually do talent scouting.

Next lets talk about the elephant in the room, no shows. People, if you're not here to work and have fun, then dont waste a GMs time. Otherwise you get your ass kicked by a chick and end up "Toasty"

I am very pleased with the turnout Meltdown does produce week after week. I see alot of people improving and becoming formidable opponents for Overdrive and Asylum megastars. Its good to see the next generation is putting themselves out there.

Vincent, Shanell, AJP I think these guys have really shown their work and I enjoyed reading their stuff this week. The matches were very well put together, but its been awhile since someone wrote a crappy match *coughs* LIVELY.

I agree about the drug usage on Live TV. you have to draw limits, F bombs and Drug usage Im "iffy" on in general (despite dropping one or two in RPs) but they definatly do not belong on the show. PPVs can be a different story if it adds to to overall.


Good job to all this week, and I wonder what next weeks card will bring

[Evan De Parker]

First of all, this show was a great read from beginning to end. Admittedly, this is the first week in quite some time I've read it all the way through without skipping anything (that I noticed). Meltdown is never a segment-heavy show, but this one had a lot of excellent material.

The opening segment worked in "exposing" a chink in Lively's armor. I appreciate how hard he's working to establish new talent, and Pennington should've been put over huge here, but I feel that the whole thing ended too abruptly. If you skipped a sentence or two on accident, you'd have no idea why Lively's being ushered out of the ring so quickly. For a segment involving two Megastars, this was exceptionally brief. However, maybe I'm just used to the in-ring segments on Overdrive. It served its purpose though.

The tag team match was well-written and did a good job at putting over Educated Money, despite Kash coming out looking like a strong heel in the match. Awesome to see the new guys get the win over two established stars, and I love that they're such pricks! Good writing-- and it makes me excited to see what Educated Money could do in the tag division in the future. I know the writers were a bit pressed for time this week but I'll give them the benefit of a doubt and expect them to give 100% next time. On another note, I read Kash's RP and it makes me salivate at the thought of seeing him have a tag team run in the near-future (once he's done being the selfish uber-heel he apparently is). I imagine he can play off of any partner he has.

I agree 100% with TJ-- I don't like when the words "shit", or "goddamn", or "fuck" are used on the live television shows. I completely understand it for RPs or PPVs, but it just never sits well with me to see those words used on a TV show that's supposedly coming on in the prime-time slot. It's unrealistic. Almost as unrealistic as smoking weed on live television. These are just things that you would never see.

The dialogue in this was absolutely awkward. I felt uncomfortable reading it. But I give Shanell and Mannie credit for taking the time to come together and work on a segment. Already, it helps Mannie continue being a presence on Meltdown, and gives Shanell some exposure. It helps that she included the line "this is your once chance to make a good first impression outside the ring." At least it gives us hope that this angle has legs under it and could go somewhere to give the characters a push, and sells that before anything, this is a wrestling show. Who woulda thunkit, that Shanell of all people would remind us of that?

It helps that her match was right after and she completely annihilated Tek. I think Shanell can be a big-time player with a little bit of work and it seems that a lot of people here are willing to work with her. I'm excited to see her grow in APW-- though I really hope she doesn't take the complete name of the real Shanell. Stefan Raab got accepted on accident... Let's not have this happen twice.

Shane West FTW with "Flawless victory!"

Krunk submitted a segment. Touched on a lot of things. I appreciate that the writer sent something in after being unable to RP. At least he's committed and the Krunk character is growing a bit more with each week.

LOGAN ALEXANDDAAAAHH! ;D But seriously, I loved how things went down between M&M and Lively... And I love that they hate Shane West. It's different for faces to react that way to commentary-- or for anyone to react to commentary, and I hope it's reflected in future shows. Lively once again does an amazing job at being the uber-heel and the perfect foil to the faces, while not having to say that much at all. I love that Sabur was a presence in this and the thing was interrupted by two new rookies. Although they no-showed, I chose to make their entrances so prominent purely for imagery heading into ONIH's North American Title match. Other than that, this was a fun match to write. I like writing for submission-based wrestlers, and that was pretty much all of them.

I really, really hope Collins and Noir return to APW next week. I loved their work, even though we didn't get to see much of it. If not... Ah well. We'll get new ones.

Sienna Harrison, haaaayyyy.

ComiKaze no-showed, as I feared would happen sooner rather than later. Like Noir/Collins, I hope this was a one-time hiccup and they come back next week, as their work was beyond entertaining. The match was a fun read, with a quick surprise thrown into the very beginning. Good showing here for Mannie, and didn't necessarily make Krunk look weak as much as it made him look incompetent. If he's smart, this will lead to a great story for his underdog character heading into ONIH.

No more wrestling-related press for M&M? Now they'll have no choice but to cut in-ring promos every week! LOGAN ALEXANDAAAAAAAHHH! ;D I ain't complainin'.

Again, the main event was VERY fun to write. Congrats to Lively, and big nod to Pennington for making his name relevant in the main event scene and title picture on Meltdown.

[The Main Attraction]

Just a quick added note to Evan and TJ...I never smoked the weed on T.V.
I just walked around with it in my possession while trying to get a lighter.

[chaos lite]

^^^

"I didn't kill her. But if I did, here's how it would have happened."

[Jason Cashe]

I read Kash's RP and it makes me salivate at the thought of seeing him have a tag team run in the near-future (once he's done being the selfish uber-heel he apparently is). I imagine he can play off of any partner he has.

I've been in a Tag Team and my former partner doesn't like me anymore I guess. Nobody wants to be my partner in crime. Haters I tell you but I guess I understand as well, who'd want to be the partner of a guy who has issues? In all truth I appeared on Meltdown for the chance to smell the empty space after AJP walks by. She "purdy"

[Lord Raab]

Well I wouldn't say write matches would be a key because I can't write matches if my life depended on it but yeah like TJ said. If you RP every week and do segments then you will get noticed. Look at how me, Yarmouth and Shane were drafted recently. Contributions what matters here not wins or losses. It also happened to TJ a while ago as well on how he got drafted too.

Feedback for the whole show. I loved everything and I love to see new stars shining through the ranks. This is my first feedback with everything about the show so it will take me sometime to go into full details like TJ and Evan do but just some bits I really do like at the moment below.

I love how you M&M peeps are doing segments every week and getting your team to be almost like a threat to Noble Hart. Personally I think both Noble Hart members should do a segment on Meltdown and M&M to do more segments on Overdrive to really see things heat up between the two teams maybe after the PPV since now Logan and Audrey are facing against each other likewise with Kurt and Chris. I would love to see how this works.

Lively is good on being a dick as usual but that's what I love about Michael is the fact he generally does help newer stars to get them more well known and even drafted too. I really do recommend working with this guy as he helped me so much with my character getting my name up there and everything. Keep it up on promoting talent Michael and your work is coming along quite nicely too.

Yeah the whole Krunk segment seemed quite heelish and also the fact that you said that you almost forgot about the match which is something you don't say at all. You could made something up like your character wasn't feeling well or someone in the family died or something like that. When I no showed recently. I made up the whole thing about Stefan being dehydrated. Just something to consider next time when you think you are going to no show but have time to do a segment to have it a little more realistic on your character being ill or something like that but it's good to know that you are doing segments now because I really do love your work as well.

I really do hope that this brand will continue to grow and not having any more of these no shows. Turn up people and do segments is the key to everything on getting drafted like I have said before above.

[The Soul Of Philly]

Oct 2, 2012 13:13:10 GMT -4 The Main Attraction said:

Just a quick added note to Evan and TJ...I never smoked the weed on T.V.
I just walked around with it in my possession while trying to get a lighter.

Dude, you have weed, on TV, doesn't matter if it's being smoked or not. Possession is 9/10ths the law. Seriously, stupidest thing I've ever seen said here that wasn't an insult towards someone.

And stefan, you're not going to improve at writing matches if you don't try.

[Your JESUS]

Whoa I think everyone needs to ease up on the weed thing. I remember RVD talking about 420 motioning the act of smoking weed. You had a tag team named Kronic, I mean if we are going to be so strict as to legal rules and believability then how could any woman rightfully compete with top talent in brutal matches? Ease the fuck up. As for the cursing thing when I read I love it just me. I look at this as wrestling the way I want it.

[The Soul Of Philly]

Lively, you're missing the point completely. 1, they suggested weed, never showed it on TV or tapes, why? Because you can get them for possession. and 2. The women sign a wavier release when they sign a contract to be in APW knowing full well, they're probably end up in the ring with men.

As for the cursing thing, it's just a pet peeve of mine.

[chaos lite]

I dislike cursing on the TV shows.. and I don't think RVD alluding to weed is quite the same as Mannie having a blunt already rolled and ready to smoke on camera.

[Level-Two]

I think this argument is silly and tend to side with Lively on this. There's a lot of things that aren't really realistic if WWE is our measuring stick - especially, if we start going into some of our best matches here.

I do try to cut out swearing to the bare minimum on the shows (maybe a bit in my rps too) but let's not pretend like it makes a lick of difference, regardless. The only reason to be against it is because WWE and TNA don't have swearing, thus it's deemed unrealistic.

Same with the drugs issue. You wouldn't see it on WWE, so it's a no no here.

Okay, then Lively is right. By us following this silly logic, no men beating the piss out of females. It is LITERALLY the same concept, guys.

If we had a poll right now... legalization of drugs would be the majority vote. This is OUR world, don't define how we play the game by looking at the WWE, which is marketed for children.

Anything that is fine in rp's are fine on the show, IMO. The only difference is, you can get away with being irrelevant in the RP, but on the show the segs must push characters and storylines.

[Your JESUS]

Mae Young face birth to a hand after having sex with Mark Henry...argument closed!!!

[President Jeff]

I don't like the swearing on the TV shows, mainly because if we're being realistic, the networks wouldn't allow it.

BUT

This is just a game, at the end of the day, someone saying fuck on Meltdown or smoke a joint isn't going to be the deciding factor in rather the show was good or not. We're here to have fun and entertain ourselves

[Your JESUS]

Back to feedback...

Opening segment sorry for the shortness of it. I had some issues logging on via my phone and didn't want to miss my opportunity to get it to Rebel. I kind of threw it together and sent it off. Point was to hype main event and put over Vince.

I also must commend Aubrey J Parker and Logan on the segment. We discussed a little bit doing some stuff they wrote up a hell of a piece, and I just helped with the Lively part slightly. Credit goes to them I left it open, and they are the shiz!!!

Matches were great, maybe because ai didn't write one, haha fuck you Shadow son of a bitch.

The show flowed, Rebel is this shit. Those who participate on Meltdown and bust their ass should be proud because you all are doing good.

The show you are on is your show, run with it. Don't just think in terms of your RP or your character. Think of it as a fan what you would want to see. Where would you like you character to go, who would he get along with, he would he or she my bad not get along with. Communicate with each other, and put this bitch over it's your show! Keep up the good works assholes, your JESUS is proud!!!

[The Main Attraction]

Jason Kash had a bong on Asylum and he ripped on a more than occasion, I believe! So me having a blunt was this controversial...Hmmm but anywho back to topic...Awesome can't wait for the next card...I'm 4-0 BABY!

[Evan De Parker]

Oct 2, 2012 18:48:54 GMT -4 Level-Two said:

I think this argument is silly and tend to side with Lively on this. There's a lot of things that aren't really realistic if WWE is our measuring stick - especially, if we start going into some of our best matches here.

I do try to cut out swearing to the bare minimum on the shows (maybe a bit in my rps too) but let's not pretend like it makes a lick of difference, regardless. The only reason to be against it is because WWE and TNA don't have swearing, thus it's deemed unrealistic.

My basis wasn't based on WWE or TNA. I understand how inconsistent those companies are, so I based it on the "networks" that these shows appear-- FX, the Food Network, USA and TSN-- just so I wouldn't be subject to comments like this. Those networks that these fictional shows claim to be on just wouldn't allow it, period.

Someone dropping the F bomb or smoking weed on-camera isn't enough to take away from the show (usually) but the way I like to play the game is by keeping it as realistic as possible.

I agree that it's a tad unrealistic to have female wrestler's competing in main-event level matches with large men... Which is why when I write those kinds of matches, I usually have the man dominate physically, while the female will rely on mat wrestling, quick strikes, gimmicks, and counters to gain the upper-hand, because that's the only way I can typically see it happening in real life.

Everyone is welcome to play the game however they'd like to, but this IS a feedback thread. I've offered my opinion, but I'm just one reader. I don't expect anyone to change their styles to appease my interests.

[Your JESUS]

I think if people just take it as an opinion and agree to disagree then no harm no foul. I don't think people need to get butt hurt on giving an opinion or receiving one. It's kind of cool how we all blend our different perspectives together as a chaotically beautiful blend of creativity.

[Lord Raab]

The thing is that you can't make everything realistic all the time. You got to expend your imagination a bit to even do unrealistic things.

[Evan De Parker]

...I must be losing my mind. L1 and Lively just gave me valid reasons as to why a lack of realism is okay, but Stefan Raab is the one that got through to me.

Huh.

[Jason Cashe]

A female wrestling a male, in eWrestling it works because in the end it's a writing competition. In results the man can dominate if you feel the need to make it realistic to the tee however the ending could be a surprise roll up like win and it still keeps it cool. The weed thing and Mannie, bringing me into this or Kash is kind of DA-Oushish of you. HOWEVER if you have a Medical License to smoke it and have it LEGALLY then like Snoop Dogg (Sorry, Snoop Lion) or other people can be on Television high or even smoking. LEGALLY you can go to a Snoop Dogg concert (I have) and I watched him smoke while he rapped and then tell the crowd he ran out of weed. INSTANTLY it rained joints onto the stage. Security and Cops EVERYWHERE. So when Kash was on tv with a Bong, he had BEEN promoting him being Legal. Hence when Callahan had his shit revoked in our little spat. So that I could pull out from that altogether with Kash because it limited him and me to being judged as a one style guy who is a run of the mill character as are most "Tokers" so it worked for me to change it up. It's the networks and media who push away even the legalized smokers but it's legal if licensed and if smoking and DRINKING can be done on television then legalized smoking isn't an issue for me.

With that said though, Mannie wouldn't fit a "Legalized" smoker really as he tries to be a thug most the time. Oh and don't think of this as controversy because it's really not that important, just created a topic of discussion.

[The Soul Of Philly]

Raab there is a fine line between creative and unrealistic that many times gets blurred by everyone. Smoking weed on a national tv station, unrealistic, pretending to be a king, creative. Contrived, but creative

I suggest if we continue this, we move to the ooc forum so the feedback can continue

[Jason Cashe]

Wait, we can't be Kings now? That's some BULLSHIT!

[shanell]

The show was a great read. I'm still trying to get into the characters and stories going on here, but so far the writing is amazing. I really appreciate Mannie helping me out too. Being new isn't the easiest thing but people being so welcoming always helps. You guys have been great so far.

And the show again was an exciting read. I can't wait to read the next show!

[The Soul Of Philly]

I said being a kings creative not unrealistic

[Lord Raab]

Oh I am not saying that I agree with the weed segment no I don't at all. Just saying that you can't be realistic with everything that's all.

[Jason Cashe]

Shanell...Mannie helped you? Like Young Mannie? Oh I'm sorry, you poor thing. Find an emergency exit. Tell him you've got the runs or something...No that might make it worse. Tell him you have a penis. We'll know the truth but he won't and that's the secret in not being Mannie like. He's the picture in the dictionary next to the word Delusional. Haha

[shanell]

Now I'm officially scared lol