Post by Michael Callahan on Oct 6, 2012 20:12:57 GMT -4
India. The true home of playing cards, Karate, snakes and ladders and most interestingly? The cotton gin. It's a far cry from the red, white and blue that Michael Callahan was used to but it was during the two weeks between the Singapore and Philippines edition of Asylum on their tour of Asia that Callahan inevitably found himself in. Some of the best and greatest, most innovative minds had travelled to India in an attempt to “discover themselves and while Steve Jobs was the only example that the plucky duly elected wrestling representative could conjure at this point in time he couldn't help but feel that he wasn't quite getting the full experience because of his unwillingness to trip balls on LSD.
Spiritual externalisation, a handful of tabs and lucid dreaming was always the stereotypical prescription most people were given when travelling to the far east but given that Callahan wouldn't even light up a fattie, it was unlikely that a crack pipe was going to be on the cards in his near future. Instead of doing all that and milling around a field pretending he was a butterfly from outer space, the unimpressed politician found himself nervously strolling through the markets of Porbandar, home of Muhatma Gandhi who's efforts for Indian independence rather than impress The Great American Freight Train had simply been bagged up and titled with the personal accolade of “History's Biggest Pest”. It was a deeply cynical holiday and as Callahan stared in stunned bewilderment as passengers climbed aboard one of India's many elephant taxi's, he stopped and paused. Fukuyama nearly walked on past him but stopped.
Steve Fukuyama: What're you looking at Mike?
Michael Callahan: That.
He pointed a rapidly tanning finger at the gargantuan creature as it lazily rubbed its forehead with the tip of its sizeable trunk.
Steve Fukuyama: Yeah, it's called an elephant genius. We've seen countless ones since we got to this country.
Michael Callahan: How are they so casually a part of the society? Such a wild, dangerous and admittedly beautiful creature and yet nobody even bats an eyelid despite the fact that none of these people are equipped if one were to go nuts.
Steve Fukuyama: I dunno man. I think it's the fact that there's tonnes of them around and because they're big, stupid lumbering things that just roam around the people thought that instead of just trying to kill them they'd domesticate them and use them for... transport I guess. It helps that they're incredibly docile and don't get provoked easily.
Callahan's eyes shoot wide in baffled confusion as to where Steve gets his animal information from. Elephants used to be used in wars against The British until they invented cannons and muskets. Lord knows that a twenty pound lump of round shot ammunition could take down a grey behemoth .
Michael Callahan: Are you joking? I saw an elephant go bat crazy in the LA zoo once. It sorta' gored this other elephant with its tusk and tried to stomp it to death. It was gross and yet at the same time utterly compelling viewing.
Steve Fukuyama: You really have issues Mike.
Michael Callahan: Do I Steve? Do I? For being drawn in by an urge that's been a part of man since the dawn of time? The Gladiators, Greco-Roman Wrestling, and of course even today as I stand before you an APW mega-star and you want to tell me I'm messed up for watching two elephants mess each others day up?
Steve Fukuyama: Hmmm...
Michael Callahan: You know, it's interesting. Despite a totally different culture, climate, diet, way of living and social structure it's amazing how America and India although worlds apart are united by their love of the elephant and how integral it is to the very core of their way of life. For us Americans, it's the symbolic meaning in it's attachment to the GOP and for them it's a transport system as well as a religious icon. Just look at these guys, they love the huge critters.
Steve Fukuyama: Yeah, the only people who don't like The Elephant are the ones who have to clean up it's shit.
Fukuyama has the slyest little grin on his face, a smug sense of joy at being able to win in a war of prose with Callahan. It's not for much though, as Callahan is in no mood for games and Fukuyama's victory marks a loss of standing in the eyes of his employer.
Michael Callahan: That's a nice turn of phrase Steve but unless you're being a crypto-liberal pencil-necked geek then you'd know that's utter elephant doo. Though, I can imagine having to scoop up nine hundred pounds of manure a day is not something worth skipping out on your degree for.
Steve Fukuyama: True enough. They're big wrestling fans here too though you know?
Michael Callahan: I'm very much aware of that. The constituents here do not concern me right now. It all resides in a few weeks times when we travel across to The Philippines. I was hoping to have reinvented myself as a pseudo-prophet of an enlightened cause to try and get some of those New Age social pariahs on my side when we had back state side but my utter inability to enjoy this adventure has put a wrench in the spokes as it were.
Steve Fukuyama: Is Johnny Rebel a wrench in the spokes?
Michael Callahan: Of course he is. Not for the ordinary reasons though. It's a cliché that when two of the supposed “bad boys” of this industry like Johnny Rebel and apparently myself according to Sally Talfourd the ego's are meant to clash and we're supposed to try and have nothing but disdain for one another. I know this is true for Johnny Rebel. He has it in for me. The sad truth is though I bare no malice against the man. It's quite disheartening actually, Johnny Rebel clearly has no properly explained reason to hold a grudge but he does. Meanwhile, back when I got here and he was on Overdrive I can honestly say with a clear conscience and an open heart that he was my favourite wrestler on the brand and my inspiration as I tried to climb the ladder.
Steve Fukuyama: Johnny Rebel? Of all people? Why not Terry Marvin or Blade though?
Callahan scoffed loudly at the mere suggestion that those two would be suitable, relevant role-models for a man such as himself as opposed to Johnny Rebel. Did Fukuyama know nothing of his hatred and rivalries within APW? Apparently not.
Michael Callahan: Because I'm not fat and I'm not insane thus rendering me unable to identify with either of them. Johnny Rebel for me stands for the hard-working, misunderstood wrestler who everyone thinks is conceited and self-centred and that's something that totally resonates with me. He, like most people considers everyone around him to be inferior and treats them all with the same “gum to scrape off my shoe” mentality but for me? Johnny Rebel, at the risk of sounding like a giddy school girl was my idol from the day I set foot. How can you not? He's strong, bold, tough as nails, influential and he only main evented Rasslemania this year with the likes of Blade, Kurt Noble and CJ Gates. Who doesn't aspire to that kind of glory?
A pregnant pause as Fukuyama tries to cognitively tear apart what Fukuyama's just told him. It's weird for a man so high on his own self-imposed pedestal to show any kind of deference or admiration for another but then like a jigsaw puzzle, the last piece clicks into place.
Steve Fukuyama: WAS your idol?
Michael Callahan: He was my idol until he quit out of Overdrive and jumped ship under false pretences. He shipped himself to Asylum in the mistaken belief that somehow, the competition is easier over here and that he'd find it easier to claim that top tier prize that he never could quite reach for back on Overdrive. If he'd stuck it out, put his heart and soul in for that little bit longer and won those key matches I know as well as anyone that he could've been Undisputed Champion. Instead he thought he'd take the easy way out and come after Anthony Bailey. Now I'm not going to say he's tougher or weaker than Terry Marvin or Kurt Noble as it were at the time but I'd definitely consider them on par on any given night. A far cry from the “B-Show” that everyone seems to think we are. That's why I no longer respect Johnny Rebel and in the interests of defending our humble brands honour, I must defeat him and put him in his place.
Steve Fukuyama: And in good time.
Michael Callahan: Look, honestly. If anyone has the best chance of picking up an early win it's me. Compared to the other two matches? Ours is the most likely to have a reasonable finishing time. Shane Borderland and Phil Atken screwing up every little thing they do in the ring will add precious seconds to their clock and Anthony Bailey and Sally Talfourd are still not on smooth ground even after Shane Borderland put them both in coma's so with their levels of toughness combined with the need to want that momentum going into the main event of One Night in Hell? I'll be surprised if we're not the only match that doesn't go on for half an hour.
Fukuyama wants to tell him that underestimating Phil Atken, the man who's connections and brute force in the ring had made him more than just a force to be reckoned with in recent weeks was something to try and avoid. Nevermind tell him that the man who only just recently laid out Sally Talfourd and Anthony Bailey by his lonesome was someone to chalk up in high standing was also something he should do. Instead though he merely stayed his tongue fearing the consequences of another judgemental outburst.
Steve Fukuyama: Alright well, before we go get lunch there's one more thing I want you to consider. The Extreme Elimination Chamber, I-
Michael Callahan: I know where you're going with this Steve and the answer is no. I'm fully aware that my unwillingness to compromise on my no weapons policy is what cost me the Pro Life title, I'm well aware that my unwillingness to use a weapon is probably the reason I have a permanent score at the tip of my hairline and the reason I had to have a blood transfusion after Shockwave. However it also lead to me having a syndicated cooking show and the ability to say that I stuck by my guns no matter what the cost. I'm not pragmatic, I'm idealistic and that's always been the Callahan way. I don't care if it's part of the concept or even if it means having to step down from the match. I will enter that Chamber having not used a weapon and I will leave that Chamber having not used a weapon. I will not compromise my beliefs, even now where I'm going to need every ounce of fire-power I can muster to decimate the competition. I am not for turning Steve and that my friend? That's a prom-.
And with that Callahan wandered off mid-sentence to go get a closer look at yet another elephant that had just turned the corner onto the street they were now standing with a childish glee twisting his features. Hands stretched out wanting to touch, feel, maybe Callahan had learnt something about himself in India. The all-important art of not taking yourself too seriously which is something we all know Callahan has never been particularly good at. With a battle with his hero Johnny Rebel impending, will Callahan be able to see past the stars in his eyes to put away his most successful challenge yet?
Fade.
Spiritual externalisation, a handful of tabs and lucid dreaming was always the stereotypical prescription most people were given when travelling to the far east but given that Callahan wouldn't even light up a fattie, it was unlikely that a crack pipe was going to be on the cards in his near future. Instead of doing all that and milling around a field pretending he was a butterfly from outer space, the unimpressed politician found himself nervously strolling through the markets of Porbandar, home of Muhatma Gandhi who's efforts for Indian independence rather than impress The Great American Freight Train had simply been bagged up and titled with the personal accolade of “History's Biggest Pest”. It was a deeply cynical holiday and as Callahan stared in stunned bewilderment as passengers climbed aboard one of India's many elephant taxi's, he stopped and paused. Fukuyama nearly walked on past him but stopped.
Steve Fukuyama: What're you looking at Mike?
Michael Callahan: That.
He pointed a rapidly tanning finger at the gargantuan creature as it lazily rubbed its forehead with the tip of its sizeable trunk.
Steve Fukuyama: Yeah, it's called an elephant genius. We've seen countless ones since we got to this country.
Michael Callahan: How are they so casually a part of the society? Such a wild, dangerous and admittedly beautiful creature and yet nobody even bats an eyelid despite the fact that none of these people are equipped if one were to go nuts.
Steve Fukuyama: I dunno man. I think it's the fact that there's tonnes of them around and because they're big, stupid lumbering things that just roam around the people thought that instead of just trying to kill them they'd domesticate them and use them for... transport I guess. It helps that they're incredibly docile and don't get provoked easily.
Callahan's eyes shoot wide in baffled confusion as to where Steve gets his animal information from. Elephants used to be used in wars against The British until they invented cannons and muskets. Lord knows that a twenty pound lump of round shot ammunition could take down a grey behemoth .
Michael Callahan: Are you joking? I saw an elephant go bat crazy in the LA zoo once. It sorta' gored this other elephant with its tusk and tried to stomp it to death. It was gross and yet at the same time utterly compelling viewing.
Steve Fukuyama: You really have issues Mike.
Michael Callahan: Do I Steve? Do I? For being drawn in by an urge that's been a part of man since the dawn of time? The Gladiators, Greco-Roman Wrestling, and of course even today as I stand before you an APW mega-star and you want to tell me I'm messed up for watching two elephants mess each others day up?
Steve Fukuyama: Hmmm...
Michael Callahan: You know, it's interesting. Despite a totally different culture, climate, diet, way of living and social structure it's amazing how America and India although worlds apart are united by their love of the elephant and how integral it is to the very core of their way of life. For us Americans, it's the symbolic meaning in it's attachment to the GOP and for them it's a transport system as well as a religious icon. Just look at these guys, they love the huge critters.
Steve Fukuyama: Yeah, the only people who don't like The Elephant are the ones who have to clean up it's shit.
Fukuyama has the slyest little grin on his face, a smug sense of joy at being able to win in a war of prose with Callahan. It's not for much though, as Callahan is in no mood for games and Fukuyama's victory marks a loss of standing in the eyes of his employer.
Michael Callahan: That's a nice turn of phrase Steve but unless you're being a crypto-liberal pencil-necked geek then you'd know that's utter elephant doo. Though, I can imagine having to scoop up nine hundred pounds of manure a day is not something worth skipping out on your degree for.
Steve Fukuyama: True enough. They're big wrestling fans here too though you know?
Michael Callahan: I'm very much aware of that. The constituents here do not concern me right now. It all resides in a few weeks times when we travel across to The Philippines. I was hoping to have reinvented myself as a pseudo-prophet of an enlightened cause to try and get some of those New Age social pariahs on my side when we had back state side but my utter inability to enjoy this adventure has put a wrench in the spokes as it were.
Steve Fukuyama: Is Johnny Rebel a wrench in the spokes?
Michael Callahan: Of course he is. Not for the ordinary reasons though. It's a cliché that when two of the supposed “bad boys” of this industry like Johnny Rebel and apparently myself according to Sally Talfourd the ego's are meant to clash and we're supposed to try and have nothing but disdain for one another. I know this is true for Johnny Rebel. He has it in for me. The sad truth is though I bare no malice against the man. It's quite disheartening actually, Johnny Rebel clearly has no properly explained reason to hold a grudge but he does. Meanwhile, back when I got here and he was on Overdrive I can honestly say with a clear conscience and an open heart that he was my favourite wrestler on the brand and my inspiration as I tried to climb the ladder.
Steve Fukuyama: Johnny Rebel? Of all people? Why not Terry Marvin or Blade though?
Callahan scoffed loudly at the mere suggestion that those two would be suitable, relevant role-models for a man such as himself as opposed to Johnny Rebel. Did Fukuyama know nothing of his hatred and rivalries within APW? Apparently not.
Michael Callahan: Because I'm not fat and I'm not insane thus rendering me unable to identify with either of them. Johnny Rebel for me stands for the hard-working, misunderstood wrestler who everyone thinks is conceited and self-centred and that's something that totally resonates with me. He, like most people considers everyone around him to be inferior and treats them all with the same “gum to scrape off my shoe” mentality but for me? Johnny Rebel, at the risk of sounding like a giddy school girl was my idol from the day I set foot. How can you not? He's strong, bold, tough as nails, influential and he only main evented Rasslemania this year with the likes of Blade, Kurt Noble and CJ Gates. Who doesn't aspire to that kind of glory?
A pregnant pause as Fukuyama tries to cognitively tear apart what Fukuyama's just told him. It's weird for a man so high on his own self-imposed pedestal to show any kind of deference or admiration for another but then like a jigsaw puzzle, the last piece clicks into place.
Steve Fukuyama: WAS your idol?
Michael Callahan: He was my idol until he quit out of Overdrive and jumped ship under false pretences. He shipped himself to Asylum in the mistaken belief that somehow, the competition is easier over here and that he'd find it easier to claim that top tier prize that he never could quite reach for back on Overdrive. If he'd stuck it out, put his heart and soul in for that little bit longer and won those key matches I know as well as anyone that he could've been Undisputed Champion. Instead he thought he'd take the easy way out and come after Anthony Bailey. Now I'm not going to say he's tougher or weaker than Terry Marvin or Kurt Noble as it were at the time but I'd definitely consider them on par on any given night. A far cry from the “B-Show” that everyone seems to think we are. That's why I no longer respect Johnny Rebel and in the interests of defending our humble brands honour, I must defeat him and put him in his place.
Steve Fukuyama: And in good time.
Michael Callahan: Look, honestly. If anyone has the best chance of picking up an early win it's me. Compared to the other two matches? Ours is the most likely to have a reasonable finishing time. Shane Borderland and Phil Atken screwing up every little thing they do in the ring will add precious seconds to their clock and Anthony Bailey and Sally Talfourd are still not on smooth ground even after Shane Borderland put them both in coma's so with their levels of toughness combined with the need to want that momentum going into the main event of One Night in Hell? I'll be surprised if we're not the only match that doesn't go on for half an hour.
Fukuyama wants to tell him that underestimating Phil Atken, the man who's connections and brute force in the ring had made him more than just a force to be reckoned with in recent weeks was something to try and avoid. Nevermind tell him that the man who only just recently laid out Sally Talfourd and Anthony Bailey by his lonesome was someone to chalk up in high standing was also something he should do. Instead though he merely stayed his tongue fearing the consequences of another judgemental outburst.
Steve Fukuyama: Alright well, before we go get lunch there's one more thing I want you to consider. The Extreme Elimination Chamber, I-
Michael Callahan: I know where you're going with this Steve and the answer is no. I'm fully aware that my unwillingness to compromise on my no weapons policy is what cost me the Pro Life title, I'm well aware that my unwillingness to use a weapon is probably the reason I have a permanent score at the tip of my hairline and the reason I had to have a blood transfusion after Shockwave. However it also lead to me having a syndicated cooking show and the ability to say that I stuck by my guns no matter what the cost. I'm not pragmatic, I'm idealistic and that's always been the Callahan way. I don't care if it's part of the concept or even if it means having to step down from the match. I will enter that Chamber having not used a weapon and I will leave that Chamber having not used a weapon. I will not compromise my beliefs, even now where I'm going to need every ounce of fire-power I can muster to decimate the competition. I am not for turning Steve and that my friend? That's a prom-.
And with that Callahan wandered off mid-sentence to go get a closer look at yet another elephant that had just turned the corner onto the street they were now standing with a childish glee twisting his features. Hands stretched out wanting to touch, feel, maybe Callahan had learnt something about himself in India. The all-important art of not taking yourself too seriously which is something we all know Callahan has never been particularly good at. With a battle with his hero Johnny Rebel impending, will Callahan be able to see past the stars in his eyes to put away his most successful challenge yet?
Fade.
