Lights out for Stefan Raab

[Reaver]

Knuckles: Packed my bags, last night.....pre-flight. Zero hour.....nine am. And I'm gonna' be........HIGH......as a KITE by then. The famous words of William Shatner's “Rocket Man”, a man who can make ANYTHING look cool. Do I dare try to compare myself to the likes of Shatner?

NO....

I don't need to compare myself to anybody because I'm an original. I do what I do because I'm good at it and nobody can compare to the levels I've reached and exceeded. People like Johnny Sykes who thought that they could rip off my gimmick but quickly failed because it's no gimmick; but reality. When you look at me Raab, what do you see? A cluster fuck of idiocy and buffoonery? A facade of stereotypical embellishments? A fake? A fraud? I figured the words were a little too large for ya' so I shortened them up at the end.

So what do you see? A stupid idiot like everybody else? HA, fail. What you see is quite simply a man who doesn't care what the likes of you think. You see a buffoon, only to feel stupid yourself after I whoop that ass all over Asia. You're nothing more than everybody else who has fallen into my trap and it'll cost you dearly. While you're too busy laughing at me or staring at me confused, I end up moving my chess pieces ten spaces in advance to put your ass in checkmate.

I'm a lot smarter than people like you realize Raab. My smoke and mirror tactics compliment my brash “kick your teeth in” style. I don't need to wait for the bell to hurt you, I do it as a creature of habit. Violence is in my blood and though you've wasted your time here in APW trying to convince your relevance to the world, I've been planning my next move. I'm not always successful Stephan. I am a man and I will admit failure like one but unlike you, I make losing look cooooooooool.

Week after week, you complain how you're held back, how much better you are but fail to execute a victory. You focus on the losses as a means of complaining instead of learning from them. When I fight, I fight with purpose whether I win or lose. I celebrated my 100th loss for Christ's sake and never once did I ever dwell on it. Well now is your chance Raab. Step into MY world, and see first hand how I deal with loss. You can't win unless you're willing to take the hits and by god, I've taken more than my share of them. This week.....It's time for you to take yours.

The scene pans in on a very dark building, flashes of light glistening into the city streets, and loud screams echoing in the distance only to be preceded by a short but loud BUZZ. Across the street; from the top of the hill, a shadowy figure is seen throwing what appears to be a body down it “Jack and Jill style”. The body continues rolling until it hits the door of this building while the lights continue to flash and the buzzing sounds followed by a voice cursing continue. Somebody from inside the building sees this body and drags it inside.

BUZZ

damn it....

BUZZ

DAMN IT.......

BUZZ

GOD DAMN IT!!!!

The camera fades into the lobby of this building where a man wearing scrubs as if he was a doctor, is carefully trying to concentrate at the task at hand. A very small hand reaches over and wipes his forehead to keep the sweat from getting in his way.

BUZZ


DAMN IT!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!

The lights kick on as the man in scrubs pulls off his mask revealing it to be Johnny Knuckles playing a game of operation with Mini Knuckles while Maxi Knuckles is seen standing over his shoulder; giggling. Ultimately, this seems to be the reason Knuckles lost to Mini. He jumps up and down on the desk cheering to himself as if to say, “I WIN!” and celebrates. Knuckles knocks over the classic board game with his forearm with such regret and utter failure in his tone. Mini continues to rub his win in Knuckles face as he pounds his fist on the desk as if he lost a patient.

Knuckles: DAMN!!!! IT NEVER.....SEEMS.......TO GET....ANY.......EASIER!!!

Just then, some guy walks over with the body, that just now happens to be covered with flies, he found outside and asks for advice.

Guy: Excuse me doctor, what should I do with this guy I found outside? He seems pretty beat up.

Knuckles: Uh, I dunno'. Um, just put him in the room for now; I'm just really busy at the moment.

Knuckles attention turns back to the task at hand....... He turns the crank as the boot kicks the bucket; spilling the marble down the chute, hitting the pipes which knocks over ANOTHER marble which falls into the bathtub and down a drain; onto a seesaw which launches a green guy (martian maybe) into a yellow pool, which happens to be empty, that sets off the snare and captures a bunch of mice. Playing Mouse Trap with Mini sucks for Knuckles as Mini jumps up and down again for another win which pisses Knuckles off and knocks this game over too.

Guy: Hey, wait a minute. I don't remember ever seeing you here before. Are you guys doctors?

Knuckles: No, but would you believe we played a few on TV?

Guy: GET OUT OF HERE!!!

The Knuckles gang realize the jig is up and are immediately chased out of the “hospital”.

Knuckles: What the hell was this guys problem?

Mini: …...

Knuckles: I know but you would think that any Hospital in China would be grateful enough to have people standing by and willing to help a patient in need.

Maxi: *giggles*

Knuckles: Hey, I never said I was good at it......and speaking of people in need, where the hell have you two been the past few weeks huh? Both of you fuckers were hired by Reginald to watch my back. Seems you two have been slacking hardcore, especially since I been screwed TWICE IN A ROW!!

Mini: ….....

Knuckles: A vacation from what?

Mini: ….....

Knuckles: I didn't authorize any such trip.

Maxi: *giggles*

Knuckles: You did what?! Without me?!

Mini: …......

Knuckles: FUCK YOU!! I have a pay per view to get ready for and these “trips” you two been taking isn't helping me prepare for the death match. Now if you two wastes of panda piss would stop playing World of Warcraft for five minutes, maybe you can make sure nobody interferes with my match this week.

Maxi: *giggles*

Knuckles: Yes, I know playing as a Panda Monk is pretty bad ass but we don't have time for this right now.

Mini: …....

Knuckles: Go to hell you walking beach ball. Operation and Mouse Trap kick ass. Not only are they CLASSICS but they serve a point to Stefan Raab this week, you'll see.....

The Knuckles Gang continue walking down the street as the scene fades.

Knuckles: To see me at my best, is to see me at my absolute worst. So, What's up Doc? You think you're ready to see me at my absolute worst?

Doubtful.....

While you try to brag about never being pushed to your limits, I; on the other hand, have been pushed to my limits more times to count. I've been in matches that would make your vagina bleed at the sheer thought. YES I JUST CALLED YOU A WOMAN!! That's due to the whiny nature you've shown ever since you stepped foot here in APW.

OH BOO HOO, I'm being held back BLAH BLAH UGH.....

Grow a fucking sack and man up you pussy. You claim to be mean but not as mean as your mom for getting pregnant by backing up to a glory hole in the bathroom of a Wafflehouse. Am I supposed to be impressed with your “hardcore” style? Or lack thereof? If your looking to be pushed to your limits then look no further. I will break you with every fiber in my being and whether that includes a sledgehammer, a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire and set on fire, or just my elbow bashing your skull spilling brain matter, it really makes no difference.

I didn't get to where I am by backing down from wannabe's like you. Everybody can claim to be “violent” but very few ever live it and Raab; I am one of those very few. I have helped shape Asylum into being the REAL premier show for APW and I did it through my violent nature. Do you really wanna' test fate? I will flat out fuck you up where you stand so don't bother getting up, I owe you for costing me a win against your would be boyfriend anyways.

You are nothing but propaganda hype Stefan. You did it with Yarmouth and that lead to absolutely NO WHERE!! Now here you are claiming hardcore as if I'm some mook fresh off the boat. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M FROM WALES? Learn to get your fact straight before claiming shit against me you half a tard. It's simple.......open google, type in Johnny Knuckles, then kill yourself for getting my facts wrong. Any idiot can use Wikipedia right? That means even you.....

So why were the board games so relevant you ask? You are blander than day old wonder bread. I saw your bullshit coming from a mile away and it's no surprise that you rented yourself a midget for the day. Good thing it was only for a day cuz' I don't think the Renaissance fair could go much longer without him. Those board games represent your wrestling career, two dimensional, too many small pieces that don't matter, a small child would choke if they ever swallowed it, and you don't need an instruction manual to play and beat it.

You're too simple and uncomplex that if I spent half a breath talking about it any further, then my dick would fall off. If you had REALLY done the “research” you claim to have done on me then you would have remembered that I beat Atken to get into the Test For The Best tournament. If you paid any attention then you would see that I was only getting Phil ready to unleash his true potential on Asylum by forcing out his violent side. Asylum doesn't survive with out violence and by putting him into that position to kill or be killed, then I secured all of our jobs for that much longer.

Unlike you Stefan, I couldn't give a monkey's flung poo about winning and losing. I'm all about fucking somebody up. Sure, you might win, but if you can't walk your ass back to the locker room on your own two legs then it's an empty victory. This is the class where you belong. Every win you ever had has been empty and meaningless. Where are YOUR title shots? EXACTLY! My loss record has more meaning than your win streak of nothing so tell me again how I'm irrelevant? We step into this week with violent intentions but you'll quickly find out that you brought a knife to a grenade fight filled with land mines. We are NOTHING alike and Sunday will be the mistake that costs you at One Night In Hell where the rules work EXTREMELY in MY favor. Be careful what you wish for Raab, now take that list and shove it up your ass.





Edit: sorry but i guess the video didnt work right so i fixed it within the 10 minute time frame so plz excuse that :-p ty and hope u enjoyed this rp