Post by Johnny Rebel on Oct 13, 2012 20:06:01 GMT -4
Rebel Rousing #9: Questions
Everybody has questions. It's a never-ending cycle of curiosity that begins at an early stage of life. We cultivate the process by encouraging children of all ages to ask, ask, ask; and give credence to their questions with silly quips like, "There is no such thing as stupid questions."
It's nearly impossible to be asked a question and not provide an answer...especially for someone who likes to talk as much as "Simply Put" Johnny Rebel. The only reason that he accepted the interview from PWI's Frank Kewda was because he likes the sound of his own voice.
Frank Kewda: "Johnny, the big question on everybody's mind is what is this 'Plan B' you have been talking about over the past few weeks?"
Johnny Rebel: "You know how in that montage you said something ridiculous like every question deserves an answer? That's one that I cannot reveal at the moment...but I promise you, it's going to turn the APW and Asylum upside down! My failed partnership with Level-One, the Sindicate and Felipe DeLoren wasn't a complete loss; it gave me a purpose when I was lost. It's come to my attention that there are plenty of people in the APW that don't belong to be in the position they are in and it's going to be a joy to eradicate them from the scene once and for all."
Krewda: "Who might those people be?"
Rebel: "I'm sorry...is it not obvious? Phil Atken spends the majority of his time choking on a microphone behind a computer, and all of the sudden he's the main event of one of the biggest pay-per-views of the year? Let's be honest here: how many people are tuning in to a show where Phil Atken is the focus? I don't need to wait for Nielsen Ratings to answer that question! Don't even get me started on Anthony Bailey! It seems every time I step foot in the ring with that guy he ends up laying on his back for minutes at a time! It's like a bad disease or something. Rebel shows up and then bam! Flat on his back. I hope it's not an epidemic!"
Krewda: "I see that you have failed to mention Sally Talfourd in that list of so-called undeserving megastars. You had a run-in with Sally at last weeks Asylum. What was that all about?"
Rebel: "The truth is I think that Sally and I could partner together and truly make an impact during the Extreme Elimination Chamber at One Night in Hell. In a match with such violence and physical abuse, it makes sense to team up with someone to watch your back and help you make it to the end of the match. I thought that maybe Sally would be interested in partnering up with the hope that the two of us could work together and rid those who aren't worthy of being in the match to begin with! Then, once all of the other competitors were cast aside, we could give the APW crowd a match that they have been drooling over since I made it known that I'd be making the jump over to the Asylum brand. It's unfortunate the first time Sally and I met inside the ring it was marred in such controversy and no winner was officially declared, and the only other teams we've met in the ring are in tag-matches, like the one we'll be taking part in this week. When two icons, much like the two of us, finally tangle in the ring, it's something that should be highlighted and celebrated! There will be electricity in the air, we'll be blinded by the insane amounts of camera flashes, and the real winners, will be the fans! We have a common bond in our hatred for Level-One but I thought that would be enough to unite us together. Unfortunately, I think Sally's looking out for one person: herself! She's had her chance to gain my support but my advancements were spurned and she'll be forced to feel the full extent of my wrath."
Krewda: "Can you blame her? You haven't exactly been a bastion of integrity since coming in to the APW."
Rebel: "You're on thin ice, Frank."
Krewda: "Do you expect Michael Callahan to be a worthy partner this week on Asylum?"
Rebel: "I have about as much confidence in Callahan being a competent partner as I do in Joe Biden becoming president. He's more interested in kissing babies and shaking hands of the slime-balls that call themselves fans! He'll one day wake up and realize that he's wasted his life giving a rats right testicle about the people! The people that line the ringside of the Asylum ring are nothing but mouth-breathers and booger-eaters...and certainly not worthy of the attention being paid to them! I have zero faith that Callahan is going to be a worthy partner and I'm fully expecting to carry him through the match and all the way to One Night in Hell where I'll use him as cannon fodder to make my stake for the APW World Heavyweight Championship! He found himself lucky to make it through our match last week without being completely destroyed and if it wasn't for his incompetence maybe I'd be the last man to enter the chamber at ONIH! He can't even lose without messing it up...and I'm going to change that at One Night in Hell."
Krewda: "You talk a lot about Anthony Bailey...what is it about him that you hate?"
Rebel: "Hate's a strong word, Frank. You only hate things that you don't understand and if history is any indication, I've figured out the Bailey puzzle and he doesn't stand much of a chance when the cages are finally locked and he's forced to stare across the ring at me! He's a knucklehead that hasn't quite figured out that he's a nobody inside that ring. He stumbled upon the championship against a worn-out Kash that had simply run circles around the Asylum roster and was probably mored bored than anything else! If we were to revisit the match and Kash would be booked against Bailey today, Jason would run roughshod over Bailey and take his championship back. However, since the tables are flipped, and it's me that has the chance to rob Bailey of his belt, I'll do it memory of Kash and walk out of the chamber with the belt high above my head. There isn't much to hate about Bailey. He's a simpleton that is sinking fast in a sea of quicksand and I'm going to offer him a lifejacket...and then bash him over the head with it!"
Krewda: "Any last words?"
Rebel: "There isn't much to say. Over the past month, the five of us have got to know each other well...Sally, Atken, Bailey, and Callahan...with the additional sixth member still a mystery since Borderland decided that he couldn't hack it in the APW any longer. The tag match this week is insignificant. Sally and Bailey will try and prove to the world that whoever wins the match this week will walk in to One Night in Hell with some kind of advantage, but to that, I say mularky! It doesn't matter who wins this week, it doesn't matter who is first to enter the chamber, and who is last. The fact is that my championship is waiting for me and I can't wait to stomp out the dreams of the Asylum roster...because when I win that championship, I'm going to shut Asylum down...once and for all!"
#SIMPLY
#F'N
#PUT!
Everybody has questions. It's a never-ending cycle of curiosity that begins at an early stage of life. We cultivate the process by encouraging children of all ages to ask, ask, ask; and give credence to their questions with silly quips like, "There is no such thing as stupid questions."
It's nearly impossible to be asked a question and not provide an answer...especially for someone who likes to talk as much as "Simply Put" Johnny Rebel. The only reason that he accepted the interview from PWI's Frank Kewda was because he likes the sound of his own voice.
Frank Kewda: "Johnny, the big question on everybody's mind is what is this 'Plan B' you have been talking about over the past few weeks?"
Johnny Rebel: "You know how in that montage you said something ridiculous like every question deserves an answer? That's one that I cannot reveal at the moment...but I promise you, it's going to turn the APW and Asylum upside down! My failed partnership with Level-One, the Sindicate and Felipe DeLoren wasn't a complete loss; it gave me a purpose when I was lost. It's come to my attention that there are plenty of people in the APW that don't belong to be in the position they are in and it's going to be a joy to eradicate them from the scene once and for all."
Krewda: "Who might those people be?"
Rebel: "I'm sorry...is it not obvious? Phil Atken spends the majority of his time choking on a microphone behind a computer, and all of the sudden he's the main event of one of the biggest pay-per-views of the year? Let's be honest here: how many people are tuning in to a show where Phil Atken is the focus? I don't need to wait for Nielsen Ratings to answer that question! Don't even get me started on Anthony Bailey! It seems every time I step foot in the ring with that guy he ends up laying on his back for minutes at a time! It's like a bad disease or something. Rebel shows up and then bam! Flat on his back. I hope it's not an epidemic!"
Krewda: "I see that you have failed to mention Sally Talfourd in that list of so-called undeserving megastars. You had a run-in with Sally at last weeks Asylum. What was that all about?"
Rebel: "The truth is I think that Sally and I could partner together and truly make an impact during the Extreme Elimination Chamber at One Night in Hell. In a match with such violence and physical abuse, it makes sense to team up with someone to watch your back and help you make it to the end of the match. I thought that maybe Sally would be interested in partnering up with the hope that the two of us could work together and rid those who aren't worthy of being in the match to begin with! Then, once all of the other competitors were cast aside, we could give the APW crowd a match that they have been drooling over since I made it known that I'd be making the jump over to the Asylum brand. It's unfortunate the first time Sally and I met inside the ring it was marred in such controversy and no winner was officially declared, and the only other teams we've met in the ring are in tag-matches, like the one we'll be taking part in this week. When two icons, much like the two of us, finally tangle in the ring, it's something that should be highlighted and celebrated! There will be electricity in the air, we'll be blinded by the insane amounts of camera flashes, and the real winners, will be the fans! We have a common bond in our hatred for Level-One but I thought that would be enough to unite us together. Unfortunately, I think Sally's looking out for one person: herself! She's had her chance to gain my support but my advancements were spurned and she'll be forced to feel the full extent of my wrath."
Krewda: "Can you blame her? You haven't exactly been a bastion of integrity since coming in to the APW."
Rebel: "You're on thin ice, Frank."
Krewda: "Do you expect Michael Callahan to be a worthy partner this week on Asylum?"
Rebel: "I have about as much confidence in Callahan being a competent partner as I do in Joe Biden becoming president. He's more interested in kissing babies and shaking hands of the slime-balls that call themselves fans! He'll one day wake up and realize that he's wasted his life giving a rats right testicle about the people! The people that line the ringside of the Asylum ring are nothing but mouth-breathers and booger-eaters...and certainly not worthy of the attention being paid to them! I have zero faith that Callahan is going to be a worthy partner and I'm fully expecting to carry him through the match and all the way to One Night in Hell where I'll use him as cannon fodder to make my stake for the APW World Heavyweight Championship! He found himself lucky to make it through our match last week without being completely destroyed and if it wasn't for his incompetence maybe I'd be the last man to enter the chamber at ONIH! He can't even lose without messing it up...and I'm going to change that at One Night in Hell."
Krewda: "You talk a lot about Anthony Bailey...what is it about him that you hate?"
Rebel: "Hate's a strong word, Frank. You only hate things that you don't understand and if history is any indication, I've figured out the Bailey puzzle and he doesn't stand much of a chance when the cages are finally locked and he's forced to stare across the ring at me! He's a knucklehead that hasn't quite figured out that he's a nobody inside that ring. He stumbled upon the championship against a worn-out Kash that had simply run circles around the Asylum roster and was probably mored bored than anything else! If we were to revisit the match and Kash would be booked against Bailey today, Jason would run roughshod over Bailey and take his championship back. However, since the tables are flipped, and it's me that has the chance to rob Bailey of his belt, I'll do it memory of Kash and walk out of the chamber with the belt high above my head. There isn't much to hate about Bailey. He's a simpleton that is sinking fast in a sea of quicksand and I'm going to offer him a lifejacket...and then bash him over the head with it!"
Krewda: "Any last words?"
Rebel: "There isn't much to say. Over the past month, the five of us have got to know each other well...Sally, Atken, Bailey, and Callahan...with the additional sixth member still a mystery since Borderland decided that he couldn't hack it in the APW any longer. The tag match this week is insignificant. Sally and Bailey will try and prove to the world that whoever wins the match this week will walk in to One Night in Hell with some kind of advantage, but to that, I say mularky! It doesn't matter who wins this week, it doesn't matter who is first to enter the chamber, and who is last. The fact is that my championship is waiting for me and I can't wait to stomp out the dreams of the Asylum roster...because when I win that championship, I'm going to shut Asylum down...once and for all!"
#SIMPLY
#F'N
#PUT!
