Post by Mark Mania on Oct 26, 2012 13:13:52 GMT -4
I think a curse should rest on me — because I love this war. I know it's smashing and shattering the lives of thousands every moment — and yet — I can't help it — I enjoy every second of it.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
WINSTON CHURCHILL
As people fall down all around me, I can’t help but wonder what on earth we’re fighting for. I see my Sergeant take a bullet between the eyes. I rush to him, not to help, but to pillage his weapon. Any additional ammunition or firepower is helpful now.
I grab his gun, check the clip and see that it’s full. The poor man didn’t get a single shot off. I look to the left and see the young black man from North Carolina that has a girl waiting at home for him. He’s hunkered down behind a large piece of tank shrapnel. He has his gold cross in his hand and kisses it. He puts the cross back under his shirt, makes eye contact with me and smiles.
“Damn you Delikado!” The young black man stands up, turns towards the oncoming fire and starts spattering gun shots. He makes it about two feet before he’s knocked down to his knees. He grasps at his chest. Not at his heart, but where his cross is. He falls forward into the ground.
I rush over to his post and hole myself up. This doesn’t seem like a war I can win. There are friends, new and old, dead by my feet. All of this killing, for what? I haven’t even seen the enemy yet. The enemy is only known by a cryptic name, ‘Delikado’. In Cebuano, a language of the Philippines, ‘delikado’ means unsafe, dangerous, or perilous. That’s what this war feels like right now. That’s what this enemy is embodying. How could anyone feel confident knowing that they’re going up against an enemy that his name alone means ‘dangerous’?
A grenade lands next to me. I don’t know who could’ve thrown it, I haven’t even seen this mystery enemy. I grab it, knowing I have mere seconds to spare. I throw it back towards the direction it came and it blows up just ten feet from my hand. I turn my back to the blast, hoping to shield my face. The blast knocks me over and to my knees.
I’m breathing heavily now, the ringing it my ears is unbearable. Nothing sounds real. I feel a tug at my backpack and I’m pulled back behind the large metal barrier that was once a war tank. I look up to see who had pulled me out of the line of fire. It was my Captain. She spoke to me softly.
“Mark, this isn’t a war that can be won without casualties. Too many people are dying, too many people are going to be effected by this. You can’t save everyone.”
I look at her, even with dirt and sweat covering her face, she’s beautiful.
“Captain Emily, this is a war I need to fight. I’m not going to be proved wrong.”
“You’re going to lose the ones you love, just to prove a point?”
“What do you mean?”
“This war isn’t about your people. This war is about you, it’s about your own desires.”
“Then why is everyone else fighting?”
“There are always unexpected causalities of war, soldier.” She motions all around her.
I look down and see all the destruction and all the death. I smile.
“What is wrong with you?”
“It’s a war that needs to be won.”
“But at what cost?”
Just then Captain Emily gets up from the post and stands with arms open. Her body jerks left and right as she is littered with bullets. She falls to her knees and looks at me.
“At what cost?”
I scream and reach out to catch her. “Emily, no!” It’s too late. She’s already gone. I wait for a few seconds before I realize I’m a sitting duck. I have no chance like this. I grab her gun, stand, and run towards my enemy.
“Mark! Are you okay?”
I wake up abruptly and sit straight up. I take a few deep breaths before I get my bearings and realize that I’m in bed, not at war.
“Yeah Rosa, I’m good. What’re you doing here so early?”
“It’s three days before your match you idiot. What do you think I’m doing here?”
She had a point. I continue to look around, still confused about my dream. I hadn’t dreamt about my ex-girlfriend Emily in years. Why would she pop herself into my dreams now? And is it possible for Delikado to stay out of my unconsciousness for one night?
“Breakfast is on the table, hurry up!”
I pull myself out of bed. I do all of the ritualistic things that American’s do. Quick shower, brush my teeth, shave, use Q-Tips in my ears, use deodorant, and throw on my clothes. So basic, so simple, yet if missed, it could change your entire life. No one likes the smelly kid.
As I’m about to open the door it bursts in. Rosa is standing there, decked out in a red skirt, red jacket, and white blouse. She looks at me sternly.
“What kind of time do you think we have Mark? You’ve got a satellite interview with ESPN in just a few minutes!”
“Have you ever considered telling me about these interviews before they come up? You know, any sort of warning would be helpful.”
“I tell you every few hours!”
I think about this. Did she say something about ESPN last night?
“I don’t think so.” I say, not that sure of myself.
Rosa utters another one of those ‘ugh’ type frustrations. “Five minutes!” she says and then turns and slams my bedroom door behind her.
I open the door and peak out. “Five minutes?” I ask, while lifting up five fingers in her direction. She smiles. Man, I’m one ball of charm.
I swing open the door and walk to the table. She made a whole wheat bagel with butter and a glass of orange juice. I take a few bites and swig a couple of sips of the juice.
“Ok, so what’s the deal with this ESPN interview?”
“Well, if you had listened yesterday when I was telling you about it, I wouldn’t have to repeat myself. Scott Van Pelt is doing the interview.”
“I love that guy.”
“You said that yesterday!”
Maybe I’m starting to lose it.
“So, Van Pelt is doing the interview, they want you to hype One Night in Hell, they’ll ask you about your match and about the other matches on the card, stuff like that. Just keep it simple, don’t start dropping F-bombs and you’ll be fine.”
“This isn’t my first interview Rosa.”
“It’s the first one since you’ve been having weird nightmares and crashing hot-air balloons.”
Fine, fine.
“Alright, I’ll behave. I promise.”
“Good, camera is set up over there, you’ll sit on the couch, we’ll open up the curtains and the Tokyo skylight will be seen behind you.”
“Is that what happens when you open up the curtains? You can see out of it? My God, all this time!”
“Yeah, keep it up smart-ass. Just go sit down and make yourself look presentable.”
I look at myself and open up my arms. I lift my hands from the top of my head to below my waste.
“Sweetie, I always look presentable.”
She offers me a ‘you’re an idiot’ face and motions for me to sit down.
“You’re no fun.”
As long as my body is able to withstand the physical beating, I will keep wrestling.
[/b]“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SportsCenter!” Scott Van Pelt says into the camera. I can see him on my television screen in front of me. This is how all satellite interviews should go. Too often you see someone from a remote location get asked a question and then just stand there with a dopy smile on their face waiting for the audio to get to their own ear, not sure if they’ve been asked a question yet. At least this way, if I see Van Pelt’s mouth move, I’ll know I’m supposed to hear something.
“We have a very special guest next on the program. We don’t normally focus too heavily on professional wrestling here on ESPN, but this is clearly a special occasion. This Sunday, Action Packed Wrestling will be holding the premiere event of the fall, One Night in Hell. At this event, the wrestlers from the APW face off against each other in ‘gimmick’ matches. A few examples from this year are the ‘I Quit’ Match, where the match is not over until a wrestler makes his opponent utter the words, ‘I quit’ into the microphone and of course, the premiere matches of the night, the Elimination Chamber. A giant steel chamber with six spots inside of it. Each spot holds a different wrestler and one by one they’re released against each other and one by one they’re eliminated from the match. At the end, only one man stands, at the end, only one man is champion.”
“Our guest today fought it one of these matches two years ago for the APW. This year, he’ll be fighting in a Cage Trap match, a match invented by himself and his opponent, Delikado. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Mark Mania.”
“Thanks for having me on the program, Scott. I watch SportsCenter every morning.”
“Glad to have you on Mark. Obviously you’re a longtime friend of the show. This isn’t your first time on ESPN programming so we’re happy to have you back.”
“Ah yes, there was a time when I was a more frequent guest on these programs. A better time perhaps.”
“Never any better time than the present Mark. Speaking of which, let’s get into the APW event this Sunday. Tell us a little bit about it.”
“Well, you covered a lot of it in your intro Scott. One Night in Hell is one of the staples of APW Pay-Per-View programming and I know it’s a fan favorite. Say what you will about people wanting wrestling to be toned down, saying it’s too violent, that’s not how I see it. The fans come out in droves for this event and I think it’s one of the highest rated pay-per-views of the year. A lot of people are surprised that we can put out such an intense and entertaining programming so quickly after Shockwave, which is the big event of the summer, but that’s what makes APW the best in the business.”
“Mark, tell us a little bit about your match this year. I’ve seen some of the clips of you and this ‘Delikado’ guy going at it, certainly no love lost there?”
“To say the least, Scott.” I say, flashing that million dollar smile. “This week I’ll be facing off against Delikado, a crazed Cuban wrestler who was recently diagnosed with rabies.”
“Rabies?” Scott asks, a smile on his face as well.
“I know, It sounds a little unbelievable.”
“This isn’t just some publicity stunt that he’s pulling? Maybe some ploy to catch you off your guard?”
“I actually get asked that question a lot, and I wish it was a ploy, but no, Delikado really has rabies. In fact, he’s been trying to give them to me for the past month. He thinks I had something to do with it.”
“Why on earth would he think that?” Scotts facial expression is of complete aghast.
“Your guess is as good as mine Scott, the guy is insane.”
“So is that why the two of you are facing off this week, some sort of vengeance for Delikado?”
“I think in his own mind that’s what this is all about, but really, I won a match after Shockwave that made me the number one contender to the title that Delikado currently holds. We all knew the match would be at One Night in Hell and we had all month to prepare, Delikado just took it to a new level.”
“Sounds like he’s almost a ‘method’ wrestler. Really needs to get into character and hate you.” Scott says this, making an incredibly good point.
“You know, I hadn’t thought about it that way. No matter what he’s done, he’s certainly pushed me the wrong way. If his plan was to push my buttons and get me angry for the match, he certainly pulled it off. I can’t think of the last time I’ve been so anxious to just get into the ring. This should be a fun match for all the fans to watch.”
“Seems like this will be a great event, Mark. What are the other matches you’re excited about watching, as a fan?”
“I’m real excited about a lot of the other matches Scott, it’s just such a stacked event. APW has such a deep talent pool, you really can’t go wrong with any of these matches. Obviously the Elimination Chamber for the Undisputed Title is going to be a match to remember. So much talent, so many ex-Undisputed Champions, it’s a once in a lifetime match if you ask me. If I were to be real excited about a an Asylum match, I’m interested to see how Jason Kash fairs against Jair Hopkins. That kid Hopkins came out of Meltdown and has really impressed lately, and Kash is always interesting to watch. Should be a lot of fun.”
“Mark, thanks so much for joining us, this has been a great time and we’re happy to have you on any time.”
“Assuming I’m still wrestling?”
Scott laughs nervously. “Right, exactly.”
“I appreciate the honesty.” I say, smiling back at Scott. The camera cuts out and I take the microphone off of my jacket.
“Well, that wasn’t too bad.” I say to Rosa, who unlike myself, is not smiling.
“You just had to add in that little jab didn’t you?” She said, in the same vein that a school teacher would condemn me for putting gum underneath my desk.
“What little jab?” I put my hands up.
“You know, ‘assuming I’m still wrestling?’ that was real sweet.” She gives her best Mark Mania impression.
“Oh I was just kidding, I know that if I’m not wrestling there’s no reason for me to be on SportsCenter.”
“I just hope that ESPN doesn’t twist that to make you look like an asshole.”
I look at myself up and down. “Me? An asshole? Come now, you must be joking.” Giving my best Windsor Lockwood impression.
“At least you didn’t say ‘fuck’.”
I grab my ears in agony, “My ears, my precious ears! I can’t hear such words!” I fall to the ground and roll around, making a real scene about it. Rosa, is clearly not amused as she stands over me with her arms crossed and leg doing a weird twitching, tapping thing that women do.
“You’re an idiot.”
After spending the rest of the day at the gym down the street that Rosa so kindly dragged me to every day for the past few weeks, I knew that I needed to do something to pass the time and clear my head before the match. I called up an old friend from the town over to see if he was still using his archery yard. There is something soothing about archery because there is so much focus required that it forces you to keep your mind clear.
When the bow is in your hand and the string across your face right before you release your mind goes blank. Left arm straight and ridged, bow ends at a perfect ninety degree angle from your fist. Right elbow up, parallel with the arrow, arm cocked back, right eye closed, left eye focused, right index and middle finger secured around the arrow and string, release thumb, let string roll off your fingers… bulls eye.
I made my way onto the field with Rosa. She was carrying a bag and her laptop, I had just the bow and arrow. My friend Jin Hao said that he wasn’t in town, but the area was open and there were hay bales to act as targets. I laid the bow down and started setting up the hay. I pulled two targets out of my back pocket and began to unfold them.
“You won’t need those.” Rosa said, putting her hand on my arm to push it away.
She reached into her bag and pulled out a picture. She turned her body to hide it away from me.
“What’s that?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
She attached the target to the hay and turned away to reveal the picture… Delikado.
“Nice touch.”
“I figured I don’t want you to forget completely about the match.”
“Don’t have much to worry about there.”
I set myself up away from the target and began the routine of setting up the perfect shot. Saying aloud to myself each step along the way.
“Release thumb, let strong roll off your fingers… “The arrow left quickly from my hands, it soared through the air and landed flatly on the picture, square between Delikado’s eyes, “Bulls-eye.”
Left arm straight and ridged, bow ends at perfect ninety degree angle
“This match has been a long time coming Delikado and while you may think that this has been a one sided affair, you couldn’t be further from correct. I remember the three times we’ve been in the ring together very well, and neither of the three times did I have anything to do with the outcome. Let’s not forget that. The very first time we were in the ring together, a few months ago, you and I stood as equals against Terry Marvin. After his big win at Test for the Best, everyone thought that something fishy might be going on with the Overdrive Title. The three of us started the match together but in the end it was down to the two of us. I had you beat. Say what you will about you ‘controlling’ the match, but we know that’s not true. The truth is, I had you beat. But Terry Marvin, for some reason or another, decided that wasn’t what he wanted to see. He decided he wanted to see you as the champion. So he reinserted himself into the match and handpicked you to be champion.”
“You can say that’s an accomplishment, you can say that makes you better than me, but we know the truth. The whole world knows I had you beat Deli. And now, finally, we have another chance to see us in the ring, just one on one. I’m as ready as ever to get into that ring and show you just what I’m capable of.”
Right elbow up, parallel with the arrow, arm cocked back
“The last time we were in the ring together, just the two of us, things really didn’t go your way. At the Championship Scramble at Shockwave the two of us were the first two competitors in the ring. I had you pinned within minutes Deli. Within minutes. If that was any indication of what will happen this weekend, then I don’t even see the point of getting in the ring together.”
“The Championship Scramble match didn’t go the way I expected it, I’ll admit that, but damn it, I did everything I could to make sure I walked out with the title. At the last minute you were able to squeak out the victory and barely, barely escape with your title. I don’t have to be worried about that this time. This time I’m thrilled to know that it’s just the two of us, in the ring, doing what I do best. No fun and games, just us and a cage. You talk a big game saying that you’re going to get me in that cage and throw me into a river like a common opossum, but believe me, the only person who will be in that cage will be the one with rabies. The one who belongs there.”
Right eye closed, left eye focused, right index and middle finger secured around the arrow and string
“I think by now you can tell that I don’t suffer fools. I’ve had to for the past month and it’s been absolute torture. But now, enough of your bullshit. Enough of your racism, sexism, and bigotries. When we get in that ring you won’t be confused for one second whether or not I’m ‘retarded’. I mean, what kind of uneducated scum of the earth are you? It’s like you’re a peasant boy living in the 1940’s who doesn’t have the slightest idea what public correctness is. I’m not saying that I’m rated E for everyone, but for God’s sake, you’re like a rated X movie without any of the things that makes a rated X movie any good.”
“You keep on spewing this shit about how I gave you rabies and how your title is talking to you, I swear, I sometimes wonder if you should be locked up. I realize that President Jeff has someone of a leash on you enough so that you don’t start attacking the crowd or bringing kids with down-syndrome on stage and start picking fun at them, but really, you’ve got a lot of problems.”
“When I was a kid, the old saying was, ‘Never pick on the crazy kid.’ But I think your case is different. I don’t think you’re dangerously crazy, I think you’re just crazy stupid. An inability to spell is too easy of an example, but the fact that you have such a distorted view of the past is what is really scary. I don’t know whether to smack you across the face or see if there are any openings at St. Jude’s Hospital for the Criminally Insane. It’s only a matter of time before you blow your own brains out anyways after the objects stop talking to you and you realize that you’re truly alone.”
Release thumb, let string roll off your fingers
“Finally we get to end this, finally we get in the ring together and only one man comes out. At the end of the night someone is going to be put into that cage like the animal they are. This match is tailored for you to lose Deli. Listen to your possessed title, it’s time for me to become champion.”
“Out of the two of us, you are the rabid one. Out of the two of us, you are the animal. Out of the two of us, you deserve to be put down. It only makes sense then, that you will end up in that cage. That cage was made just for you. There’s no point for me to be in there. The only person I’m a danger to… is you. I don’t have rabies, I don’t have too many mental issues, and I don’t need to be put down. That cage isn’t built for me Delikado, even your deformed and degenerate brain must be able to comprehend that.”
“You seem to think that President Jeff and I are out against you. I’m starting to think you might be right. Why else would Jeff agree to allow us to have this match? This is a dangerous match that could lead to someone being seriously injured and out of commission for a long time. Look at me, not look at yourself, look back at me… who do you think Jeff wants to see gone?”
“Would Jeff agree to this match if he thought there was a chance in hell that I’d be gone and seriously injured? Maybe. But would he agree to it if he thought there was a chance you’d be gone and seriously injured? Definitely. Only makes sense then that the two of us have been teaming up this whole time.”
“We’ve been trying ever since you won the Overdrive title to find a way to get it away from you. We thought that the Championship Scramble match would be enough. Put that many solid competitors in the ring, one of them is bound to walk away with the title. It didn’t even need to be me, our plan was just to get it away from you. Jeff was in a great mood right from the start when I got that first pin fall so quick. But his mood soured as the night went on and you won.”
“We knew we had to gear up our efforts to get that title away from you. We racked our brains for hours and hours until finally it dawned on us. Tactical biological warfare. We went over the possibilities, chicken pox, tuberculosis, cancer, but after all of that, we realized that those diseases were too humane for someone of your caliber. We realized that you deserved a disease that was associated with animals. So we set up the whole sting operation and made sure you were infected with rabies like the animal that you are.”
“From there, it’s been easy. Watch your mind and body degenerate week in and week out until One Night in Hell comes. Just like any other rabid animal, you’ve been difficult to control, difficult to reign in. Your actions have been sporadic and nonsensical. That’s why we needed to get the cage. Jeff knew that I could beat you, he saw at the Scramble Match how easily I handled you. He knew I could do it again. So we got the cage, got your opponent, and set the stage to finally get rid of the ‘Rabid’ Delikado.”
“You were on to us from the beginning Deli, I commend you for that. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really matter if you were on to us or not. It doesn’t matter if anything I just said was the truth or not. Because in the end, after our match at One Night in Hell, you’ll be in the cage, and I’ll be standing in the ring with my Overdrive title. I’ll be the new hero of the APW and the new face of the Overdrive division. We can stop concerning ourselves every week with what kind of crazy action is Delikado going to get into, because you will be gone.”
“It’s been a long ride with you Delikado and you’re right, it hasn’t been a lot of fun for me. I’ve had too many losses and had to do too many things I wanted nothing to do with. But finally, after Sunday night, it will be over. Finally, after Sunday night, you will be over.”
Bulls-eye
