Post by Nick Watson on Nov 14, 2012 19:59:48 GMT -4
*******Excerpt from Nick Watson's Journal*******
Today I went to the gym to continue my conditioning training and so far everything seems to be going according to what I had hoped for in terms of improvement. I've gained some muscle from the weights and seem to be able to last longer on the treadmill than I had thought possible. I seriously think that all of my hard work is finally coming to fruition, but that still doesn't shake this nagging question that I have had in the back of my head since One Night in Hell:
"Did I really win that match or did Sienna win that match?"
I know it is stupid to ask that question, but I can't help feeling the way I do about what happened there. It wasn't like I was the one who smashed Evan's head in the door and sure it hell wasn't me putting Smith out of commission, so am I really the champ or am I some kind of paper weight champion? And if I am a paperweight is there a chance that I can make a run of this and maybe change my position? Maybe make something out of this opportunity that has been handed to me?
I guess only time will tell, but sometimes I get fed up with all of the God damn waiting around for things to develop. Then again I won't have to do much waiting if my championship gets take from me this Overdrive, now will I?
The fact is I have an uphill climb to make and I know it. Nothing is given and everything has to be earned, that is what I was taught from the first day I stepped into the ring, and I hope to continue to believe that as my career progresses. And I guess that is why I'm so bugged by being champion right now...it's not that I don't like the feeling of being champ, it might just be the doubt and of course that is why I can't shrug off this match.
I can't roll over and play dead for these two modern day goliaths, I have to go full throttle, or don't even try at all...because in some way, shape, or form...maybe me winning this will get rid of that feeling. Maybe, just maybe...me winning this will put my mind at ease that perhaps, maybe...just maybe...I earned this championship at One Night in Hell.
Then everything can get better from there. I already plan to talk to the fan's this Thursday regardless of if I am champion or not. To air out all the concerns I've had that have kept me away from making public appearances on Overdrive and discussing my victory. Hopefully, this Thursday...I can not only put some people at ease, but also prove to the world and myself that I am really the Xtreme Champion.[/b]
*******End of Entry*******
The Sensational Show Episode 14:
Sensation Nation[/u][/center]
Mark was pissed at me and I deserved every bit of it. This was a man who had an illustrious career and I had let the man down, not once, but fucking twice! Plus there was that whole fucking doubt thing going on in my head, plaguing my every thought, and causing me to not only avoid the press, but to also avoid the public.
Hell, the only person that I even dared to have constant communication with, Corey, was even giving me looks. I could tell he had his doubts about me and I could sense that he was trying his best to reach out to me and console me, but he didn't know how to approach me. He was just as confused as I was at the whole situation and though he was trying his best to hide that from me, I could tell just by the way he acted around me.
He was keeping silent and only really tried to start up a conversation when it was about something trivial like: where we were going to eat or when we were going to head out after the show. It was an awkward silence, always awkward, and never welcome.
"I'm fed up with this silence, Corey."
I blurted out, filling the empty void of silence that had been formed for the past few hours. Corey, who had been doing some research on his laptop, looked up, and gave me a slightly confused glance.
"You say something?"
"Yeah, I did."
He closed his laptop as I replied, he stood up from the table in our nice hotel room, nice by my standards at least, and made his way over to me.
"I'm sick of this awkward silence man. I want to talk about what happened at One Night in Hell with at least one person."
He looked at me sternly for a few seconds and then to my surprise, he released a rather loud sigh, and then grinned.
"I was wondering when you would try to open up about what happened. I have a lot of questions that have been swirling in my mind since that night."
"Then why didn't you ask them? It would have been so much better than sitting in this silence."
"Out of respect. I wanted you to have your distance and I didn't want to pry."
"Well I'm all ears, ask away."
He looked at me calmly and then sat down on the second bed in the room. I could tell that he was trying to pick his first question carefully.
"Did you...did you ask Sienna to do what she did?"
I remembered that this very same accusation had been thrown around by analysts for the past few weeks. My silence, of course, had not helped out at all, and the rumor had been getting more and more intense over the months.
"No. You know me better than that, Corey."
"Then why did..."
"I don't know. I honestly don't know. To my faintest reckoning, I would suppose she wanted revenge, and she saw my predicament and believed I couldn't do what needed to be done."
"Talk about a woman who goes after what she wants."
"Yeah..."
We both paused, my thoughts clearing up bit by bit with every passing second that we engaged in conversation. Finally, after about twenty minutes of non-stop questioning we both had cleared both of our minds of any sort of doubts or confusion. It was clear, to at least him, that I had no requested aid, and that I had fully intended to go through with the match even if it meant another loss.
That sort of brought an air of relief to him because he had been concerned that I was walking a dangerous path that would make me no better than Evan himself.
"Have you tried talking to Sienna?"
Had I? Yeah, I had, but at every turn she had juked away from me. Not accepting my phone calls, my texts, or even my visit to the hotel she was suppose to be staying at. She had cut me off at the knees and with the way she was acting I could sense that maybe in the long run I had been a puppet to solve a problem she was having. It wasn't pretty, but that was one of the theories floating in my head, and it was the only one that made some form of sense.
"Yeah, she has been ignoring me, and dodging me."
"Guilty conscious?"
"More like mission accomplished if you ask me."
He chuckled and then stood up from the bed. Stretching and letting out a groan of pleasure, he made his way back toward the table, and his laptop. Right before sitting back down, he would pause, and turn to give me a concerned glance.
"So what are you going to do about this week, Nick? Rebel has got you squaring off with two behemoths only two weeks into your reign and you aren't necessarily feeling up to combating two guys like that."
"That is not even close to being true."
Sitting down in his chair, he would give me a weird glance that I couldn't quite describe the meaning of, but I could only assume that he was slightly confused by my statement. I simply shrugged.
"I want this match more than any match I've ever had before, Corey."
"Did all that concern and worry make you go crazy? Nobody wants a match like this, Nick. Nobody wants to compete against two guys like these guys."
"Yeah, I'm crazy."
I rolled my eyes and kept going.
"I want this match because it is an opportunity to really prove that the championship I have is mine and no one else's. And who better to fight against than two established athletes?"
"Dude, you're nuts. These guys are going to rip you to shreds and there is not going to be a Sienna running out there to save you this time!"
"That's my point, Corey!"
One of his eyebrows raised and he shook his head. Clearly he was becoming more and more confused with each and every passing second.
"So you want them to come out and butcher you? Is that what you are telling me?"
"No, dear God no. No, what I am saying, Corey, is that I don't want Sienna's help. More over, I don't need it."
Another pause from the both of us. Concern was quickly filling my friend's eyes.
"Listen...people are going to rag on me for what happened for the rest of my career unless I step up to the plate and bat one for the fences, Corey. I can't just fold at the first sign of pressure and call it quits, I just can't. It is not in my nature.
I understand your concern...I really do, but it isn't necessary. I want this match because I have something to prove...not only to everyone in the back and around the world, but to myself as well. Running away with my tail tucked between my legs is not a solution to the problem I face. It will only add to the problem and that is why I am going into this match, head held high, and ready to rumble."
He shook his head again, clearly not understanding that this was about more than escaping unscathed. This was about taking a stand and proving I was the champ, but more so it was about proving guys like Shadow and Smith wrong about me. It was about making them believe as much as making myself believe that I was champion.
"You do know what will happen if you lose, right? The ridicule and the shame would probably be too much for you to handle."
He spoke sincerely and I felt that he was trying to make me reconsider, but the fact was that the time for me to reconsider this was over. In my mind, I had to prove I was champion, and make a statement at Overdrive this week or everything I had done would be for nothing. It was either time to put all doubt out of everyone's mind or go back to the drawing board to start over from scratch. And to be honest...I was sick of going back to the drawing board.
"We will cross that bridge if I get to it."
*Scene fades to black*
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"A few weeks ago, I had been so excited to have this opportunity. Now look at me."
The scene comes back from the darkness on me sitting alone in my hotel room. The blinds are drawn so that barely any light penetrates into my room. Letting out a deep breath I continue on, focusing on getting my point across, and nothing more.
"There is no excitement left in me anymore because I have replaced that emotion with concern. After all, my reputation as an honorable combatant has been tarnished, and sundered in two by certain actions that have occurred over the last few weeks.
Sure, these actions netted me a championship, and gave me the opportunity of a life time, but at what cost?"
I pause again and take another deep breath. My emotions are running wild, but I do my best to control them.
"My soul? My very pride as an athlete? Or maybe my dignity?
These actions, made against my knowledge, have now put me in a bind. They have literally destroyed my credibility and have caused me a great deal of pain and confusion. To make matters worse I haven't necessarily been cleansing the doubt through my actions. In fact, if anything my performance over the last two weeks has made it seem like I'm some kind of low card trash from the minors.
Yet, I made that bed, and now I have to lay in it."
I stand up and walk toward the window, I don't open the blind, but instead turn my back to the camera.
"And by lay in it I mean compete against two very strong, very big, and very established athletes in A.C. Smith and Shadow."
I turn back around, looking into the camera.
"I understand why Rebel is doing this. Why he chose the two gentlemen that he did and why he has put me in their cross hairs. And that is because I have fucked up over the last two weeks. Which is of course, not acceptable for a champion, especially the Xtreme Champion. And the other reason is because both of these men were so close to Xtreme division dominance, so close to being crowned champion only to have the championship either moved right out of their grasp, or taken by force."
I sigh and begin to walk toward the camera. Taking my time to get close to the camera.
"These men deserve the opportunity to compete for a title and have clearly both paid their dues to Overdrive and APW itself. Needless to say I respect what they bring to the table...their power and their championship pedigrees alone are enough to write several books on.
Yet, even though I respect what they bring, and believe that these men deserve this opportunity I can't help, but feel a sense of...well...a sense of attachment to the title that I hold and I even feel a bit betrayed. After all it hasn't even been a month into my reign and already I am being shoved under the bus."
I shrug my shoulders and lift up the tripod holding the camera on top of it. I move the tripod and the camera closer to the chair I was sitting in and after putting it in a good position, I go to sit back in my chair. Once seated I begin to speak again.
"It's not like I've even had the chance to prove anything yet. My tag match against Evan and Delikado was surely a crap shoot and was utter garbage. I will admit that freely and without any sort of regret in saying that."
I shrug again and continue on.
"I dropped the ball and I also tapped out...something that an Xtreme champion should never do. My reward for my completely crap performance is this match. A match that not only kills two birds with one stone, but may very well be my only chance at redemption. I will also admit that this match may also be one of the most anti-Nick Watson matches I have ever competed in.
Just saying.
The fact is that I understand just how stacked the odds are against me and I also understand how important this match is for not only me, but for my two competitors. Yet, I can't just let them have their way with me. No, I'm not going to make this easy for either of them because not only am I fighting for my championship, but I am also fighting to prove my worth to this company, and to prove that I deserve to be a part of this roster.
This match will be an uphill fight for me from the get-go and I realize that. With guys like Shadow and Smith there is never an easy going match and I accept that. I embrace the fact that this match is going to be probably the most trying and difficult match of my career, but I deserve to be tried, and I deserve to be put through hell because of what happened at One Night in Hell."
I take a deep breath and then keep going. My eyes focused and my face stern.
"The fact is Sienna cheated for me and now I look like a fucking pussy and I know that if I don't win this match then not only is my reputation gone, but more than likely any opportunity in the future for me will be tarnished by that incident for the rest of my career. And I will not let that happen. I am gonna fight regardless of how these two gentlemen feel about me for my honor, my integrity, and of course for this championship that I worked so hard at One Night in Hell to obtain.
This is the ultimate test and I am not going to shrug away from it because I have something to prove here."
I point at the camera and then keep talking.
"Especially to people like Shadow.
Hey, I get it big S...I haven't been providing the much needed 'oomph' that I promised, but let's chalk that up to jitters if you don't mind. And I also understand that you had the Xtreme title for all of two minutes before it was taken from you...real crying shame to. I think you would have had a decent run as champ. But the fact is that you aren't champ, your reign was cut short because you underestimated your opponent, much like you're doing now, and threw the match away against Evan Envi, who had a much more difficult match up against Smith that very evening.
The fact is, Shadow...you can talk about how big of a man you are, and about how this championship is your's and that I am merely keeping it "warm" for you, but the fact still remains that you fucked up big time at Shockwave."
I twirl my finger around in a "whoopty fucking doo" gesture and then say.
"Yep, guess I did shoot back about your loss at Shockwave. You must be a psychic, dude!
You lost the title because you got ahead of yourself. You began to look ahead into the future about how you would address the fan base and about how you would add it to your long list of accomplishments that you have already. And that is when Evan took it away from you. That of course, doesn't surprise me.
It has been in your nature for years, Shadow...you always make the same mistake over and over again. It's sort of like clock work if you ask me. You always seem to get ahead of yourself and also puff your accolades out like some kind of peacock on steroids flaunting his feathers around for the whole fucking world to see. You always try to elevate yourself above the competition and talk a big fucking game about how you are so amazing and about how you are going to kick some ass or bring down the house, yet...how many times have you fallen flat on your face?
I mean, I can count how many times you failed to take Biggs down over the course of several months because of this very same mistake, but I wont. Mainly because it would be too boring to go digging that far back. The fact is, Shadow, that you have made this mistake so many times, but much like Smith...you keep bashing the subject home and continuing on like clockwork.
As a matter of fact, speaking of Smith, I'm sure he is about due to give me a history lesson or a course on natural disasters some time later this evening, but you know what I welcome it because I've realized that their is no fucking way I can get him to stop it."
I shrug again and then put my hand down. A slight smile creeps on my face.
"I kid you of course, Smith...how is it hanging? Good? That's great to hear. By the way, I hope that everything is okay up there...and if there is anything I can do, make sure to let me know. I'm sure I can find a way to donate some money or even help out myself."
I nod my head and keep on going on.
"But in all seriousness, stop it.
I mean you do this every time that you compete...first it was history lessons that would go on and on about things that were inconsequential to the match up. Mostly long shot comparisons that of course went no where. And now it is natural disasters?
Yes, I understand that things are rough up there. Yes, I understand that the people who went through that are tough, but at the same time do we really need you to make these comparisons? Do you think that the people around that area want to be used as a simple passing comparison in an attempt to prove your dominance?
I don't think they do and yes, I do understand your heart is in the right place and I will sign you up for the humanitarian of the year award, but the fact is...bringing up this problem in such a nonchalant manner is completely unnecessary. If anything the comparisons make light of the situation they are going through if you are just going to bring them up like that.
I for one, as a man who loves the people of this planet and want no harm to befall anyone, wouldn't be trying to make comparisons and would instead focus on the hardships of these people and reflect upon them as to ascertain the best way to help these people. And to be honest, I think that is what you need to do too.
I know you are doing field work, but at the same time you should be on television...you should be advocating for these people, these are after all your fellow New Yorkers. You shouldn't be hiding from the press, but embracing them, and demanding that they come out in droves to see what is going on to remember the people who died and to show the damage that is still not repaired. This is your chance to do something for these people!
Start a charity! Work on helping people in the area with their needs and necessities! Hell, do infomercials if you have to! I know I would do anything to help the people in my area if something catastrophic like that happened."
I sigh and then go to wrap things up.
"Before I go and leave you two gentlemen to think about what I have said...I want to tell you guys something important:
I did not want my reign to begin this way. With a controversy, you know? I wanted to win that match and bring honor and integrity back to this business while righting the wrongs that had been done over the course of the last few months. And now...well now I have fucked that all up, but there is a chance I can return some dignity back to this title of mine by claiming a victory here and now. And I intend to do just that.
Sure, it is a mountainous task in front of me, but I'm not backing away, and I am sure as fuck not scared of the challenge. In fact I embrace it...so I want to wish you gentlemen good luck. And to the fans, my Sensation Nation, good night and God bless."
