Post by Level-Two on Nov 14, 2012 21:29:28 GMT -4
I saw you on tv, MTV channel 2
Lying awake, I had nothing better to do.
I watched your life, while you came stumbling through...
Oh-a oh
For your decline, I give you all my sympathy
and I gave networks the ratings they want to see.
I hope there is no problem between you and me...
Oh-a oh
They wanna kill him
Oh-a oh
What did you tell them?
One killed the reality star
We slowly fade into to the star of the show who's occupying the bathroom. A natural in front of the camera's its almost as if they were invisible to him. Captivated by his own reflection, he adjusts the tie on his expensive Sean John suit. Tonight, he was preparing for a party in the heart of Holly Wood boulevard in one of the most exclusive night clubs in town.
''Are you sure you don't want an escort from the state troopers? It's not like they have anything important to do like arrest thief's, rapists and murders.'' Kia noted as she applied her eyeliner beside him.
''You know what? You're right.'' Lester agreed. ''Why pay taxes if it isn't even going to help your favorite television stars limousine get around the city safely? I'm sure they wouldn't mind us reallocating their resources for our personal benefit. After all, we are important people.''
''Exactly. I'll make the call.''
Kia applied the rest of her eyeliner before stepping out the bathroom with her cellphone in hand. Lester Only sinned long enough to take his eyes off his own reflection to acknowledge Violet sitting quietly with a gossip magazine in hand.
''Hey, Violet.'' Lester said earning her attention. ''You don't think this whole television show thing is self serving do you?''
''No, not at all...'' Violet replied in kind before rolling her eyes.
''Well, maybe I'm over thinking things. I mean, Mark Mania is an egoistical trust fund baby whom flaunts his wealth in the face of others and nobody seems to mind and unlike him, I actually earned all this.''
''Stop reading twitter, Lester. This world is filled with jealous people and the internet is where the little people feel they actually have a voice.''
''Yeah, but what if they're right?''
Violet raised an eyebrow over her magazine as a result of Lester's uncertainty. With a huff, she discarded the magazine and he took a seat beside her.
''Right about what?''
''Me not having it anymore.'' He admitted. ''Last week, I couldn't carry a three legged horse to the finish line. In the elimination chamber, I was defeated by a man child I know I'm perfectly capable of wrestling circles around. What if my best days are behind me? What if this big production, this show is nothing more then the universe's way of detailing the end of my story rather then a new beginning? What if...''
''What if?''
''What if I become just like them?''
He holds his glare as he picks up the gossip magazine and holds up the front cover, pointing to that weeks headline. Violet understood that the wrestling business wasn't any different then the entertainment business; one day you've gathered enough air miles to travel to the top of the world and in the next your plane is spiraling towards rock bottom and out of control. Boom.
Membership revoked.
#Celebritystatus
After being escorted by the police to the night club he stepped in line with the LeWinter sisters by his side. The three engaged in small talk for a few minutes before there was a disturbance upfront with a women and a security guard.
''What do you mean I'm not on the list!?'' She cried.
''Do you want a scientific explanation, lady? It isn't on the freaking list and I'm not going to tell you again. Scram!''
The security guard delivered the bottom line to the disheartened hopeful who stormed out the line in a tear induced fit. The LeWinter sisters laughed as Lester Only confidently approached security.
''What was up with that?'' Lester asked.
''I don't know. Ever since reality television became the new talk of this town the influx of wannabes increase tenfold. Before her, I sent back a self proclaimed YouTube star with 100, 000 subscribers.''
Lester grinned.
''Hash tag #celebritystatus huh?'' You've started quite the trend around the world, Mr. Only. It's about time someone of substance makes some noise in this fucked up celebrity culture. Head on in.''
The security guard doesn't even check the list as he steps aside allowing Lester Only and his female cohorts enter the premises. Immediately they are treated to the random noise that is techno music with strobe lights and glow sticks cutting through the darkness of night.
''Hey, Lester my man!'' Felipe DeLoren said upon finding Lester Only. ''This is the life my friend, we hit it big! You see that man right there?''
Felipe DeLoren points off into a vip section where an older gentlemen joined by three young blondes that don't appear to be his grandchildren. This conclusion is drawn by the way one is using her mouth as his jockstrap.
''Yeah dude and I seen more then enough!'' Lester said disgusted.
''He's the owner of the network we're on, he's a multi billionare.'' Felipe said green like evan envi. ''I talked to him tonight and he said he's happy with how the first episode of your show turned out and it's ratings; though, he's not too happy about Obama's second term as he HATES tax increases''
''Ugh, tell me about it.'' Lester said exasperated. ''Though, I shouldn't be getting too carried away tonight with a match against Biggs and Evan Envi on the horizon.''
''Yeah, yeah... now that you reached the quota where you feel like you have to mention your opponents let's actually do something fun. Lester, your a CELEBRITY man. It's time to live your life like one. Check it out.'' Mr. DeLoren said pointing at several dozen ladies the elite definition of beauty on a purely aesthetic level.
''I don't know, Felipe. I think I can look but I can't touch. Chlamydia and the herp isn't exactly my idea of a good time.''
''Come on Lester - they ALL got low self esteem!''
Lester sighed. ''Get me a drink will you? A coke - nothing fancy.''
''Alright buddy!'' Felipe said with a rare smile. ''I'm going to get that drink you asked me for...''
Lester turned to the LeWinter sisters who stood their with their arms crossed.
''Why do I have the feeling he's up to something?'' He raised the question to which they both responded in kind.
''Because he always is.''
#CelebrityStatus
''WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''
Lester downs another ''coke'' and steps off the dance floor feeling a high stronger then the first time he walked down a wrestling ramp. As he walks by a pretty women with jet black hair catches his eye as she clutches her purse and looks miserable.
''How are you doing, baby?"
He puts his hands on her waist and pulled her close. She wasn't sure if she should be offended or not but she knew who he was and could feel the weight of his pocket.
''The name is Kimmy but for some reason, I'm under the impression that your too much of a jerk to shake hands.''
''Fucker drugged my drink...'' Lester had tried to shake the cobwebs but the drugs were already doing it's work.
''Don't worry, it happens.'' Kimmy smiled. ''So, do you know who I am?''
''No.''
''Well, I know who you are.''
She sounded offended.
''Well then take off all your clothes and introduce yourself, properly.'' Lester said before slapping himself in the head. ''It's the drugs, I'm sorry...''
''I know that this week you have match against Biggs and Envi Evan.''
''No!'' He objected. ''As unimportant as he is the name is Evan Envi - I'm high and even I know that!''
Kimmy felt embarrassed. ''Okay, so I'm not a wrestling know it all and I only really follow the big names but your making quite a wave in this industry it's only a matter of time before you win the undisputed championship and beat Marvin Terry ''
''Terry Marvin!'' Lester corrected wild eyed. ''What can POSSIBLY be your EXCUSE for that one women!?''
''Well, I'm also dyslexic?''
''That explains it.''
An awkward silence follows as two let their eyes wander for several seconds before Lester Only turns his attention back to her.
''So, what do you do?''
Kimmy looked up at Lester with apprehension perhaps even embarrassment though she bit her lip and fought through it.
''It's a question of what I used to do.'' Kimmy explained. ''I used to be a reality television star but recently but luck has changed. The media they built me up, built me up as this huge reality television icon and then when ratings weren't appeasing my masters the media turned against me and made money off my name on the way down.''
''Tell me about!'' Lester shook his head. ''When your on top of your game everything goes right, you can't help but feel so unstoppable but when your not? It's tough, nothing is smooth sailings and you have to work twice as hard to get right back on top.''
''We have more in common then you think, Mr. Only'' Kimmy acknowledges with a grin. ''They portray you as a monster and they portray me as a empty, vapid twit but I am far more intelligent then I let on.''
''So since your all connected and everything can you tell me if the Illuminati is real?''
''The illumi.. what?''
''It's the goddamn drugs, I'm sorry!''
Kimmy giggled as she pressed her body up against Lester's seductively.
''Lester, I know we just met and this sounds crazy but you can't trust those people you surround yourself with. Why don't you come back to my place and sober up? Please?''
He thought about it for a split second.
#CelebrityStatus
They call it a triple threat for a reason. Three competitors step in one ring with their own talents, weaknesses and the desires to succeed. A triple threat because there is more then just one way you end up heading home the loser.
Now starring: Evan Envi
You don't belong in this match, Envi. I don't know how Johnny Diamond booked you to build your over hyped career over on Meltdown but he's fucking with my reputation, publicity and my money right now and I don't like it one bit. Last week, my team was rigged to fail after receiving aid from another useless xtreme champion and now I have to deal with another who wasn't even fit to hold the belt two weeks before.
You're right about one thing kid; you are treated unfairly. While I would love nothing more then to pin Bigg's shoulders to the mat, you have a bullzye on your ass and the word: ''Mark'' written right across your forehead and I guarantee Biggs is in agreement. Like Biggs, my goal here is to win and seeing who can pin Johnny Diamonds placeholder first seems like a pretty game strategy for the both of us!
Though, as of late I wouldn't be surprised if you and Biggs turned this into handicap match - there is something dark and sinister going on here and I'm going to shed light on it! The fact is, Biggs is NOT a worthy contender even if Terry Marvin coaxes him out from his dirty rat hole to say otherwise! Johnny Diamond knows I am better then Biggs and so a singles match is completely out the window - rather he inserts you the self proclaimed Mega MegaStar Evan Envi to take the fall no matter which way the tide goes!
However, as seasoned as I am these types of tactics are not beyond me. Every Thursday Night wrestling is show business. So, at this point it is not the bookers intentions that matters but rather what is Evan Envi going to do about it to throw a monkey wrench into the establishments plans?
Nothing.
Evan Envi can only walk away when his title on the line - he walks away from us? We won't chase him and he loses his greatest opportunity to pull the biggest upset seen on Overdrive in years!
As much as you like to run your mouth and entertain quite frankly you've become a caricature of your own self. We listen to what you say not because we take you seriously but rather for the unintentional hilarity that ensues. Is it really a surprise you found comradery with APW's resident clown for hire, Delikado? May I recommend a business venture to you? I can picture it now... the APW exchange program! There you can teach Biggs how to be remotely entertaining and he can actually teach you how to wrestle! Win, win...
Lose.
In those regards, I am the triple threat. An assassin who is well rounded in his approach with perfect 10's across the board, hear that Ms. Evans? I digress. Envi, the fact is your still green as hell and STILL resume building by wrestling on Meltdown in non - main event features! Though, don't worry. Right behind John Dionysus, you're literally on the brink of becoming a regular there so I'm glad that there is at least one bridge you've haven't torched yet, Envi.
The truth is, you've accomplished very little thus far and you've impressed me even less. I mean to your credit your quite the personality and I'm sure one day when you win a few more matches maybe you can mill in the background of one of my television promos but as of right now, you're a nobody and you haven't reached hash tag #celebritystatus on twitter!
A few people may recognize you here and there but you don't have your two faced haters flock around you begging for autographs to which they then sell on ebay because they're hard up for cash! See, Envi. Your buddy Terry Marvin may bring in ratings and is at top of the food chain for now but the entertainment industry has a long memory and one hit wonders don't appease nearly enough pallets. So while his stock continues to grow at rapid speed, mine still still remains higher admittedly with less growth.
You see when your as GREAT as I am? You aren't measured by your impressive performances or how close you came to victory. When your as GREAT as me, you don't have the cushion biggs has to fall back and rest your head on. I'd get laughed out of the building if I walked away from the elimination chamber touting the fact I eliminated CJ Gates or hung in there long enough with Terry Marvin. As great as I am, envi? There are no excuses. There are no fucking explanations. A loss is a loss and a win is a win because I'm a grown up dealing in the realm of professionals where the only thing that matters are statistical figures and bottom lines.
Say it with me, Envi. Evan Envi lost to Nick Watson.
It isn't Nickys fault you couldn't keep your sister on a tighter leash or rather left her at home entirely. It IS Nick Watson's fault he's probably bag piping her behind the scenes but like her big brother, I guess bad judgement runs in the family. Apparently, Sally Talfourd is looking to make WRESTLING cool again and dare I say it maybe she's a needed entity around here because I'm sick of your dysfunctional relationships thieving my camera time every week! In between Kurt Noble's whore wife, Terry Marvin and Faythe, Biggs and smelly Ellie and now your little sister dilemma Overdrive is becoming a weekly soap opera on some ''days of our lives'' bullshit! It's about time Dr. Phil or Jeremy Kyle hosts an APW special and puts an end to this nonsense once and for all!
Quite frankly, I am going to take a great pleasure in beating you. The blatant disrespect you've showed to me is unexplainable! How DARE you refer to yourself as the Mega MegaStar thereby by reasonable deduction insisting you are bigger and better then me or anyone else for that matter! Who even gave you that nickname? Nobody. You gave it to yourself which is ALL more pathetic! You might have some talent that can be tapped into three years from now but as of now, you don't fit the description! You are the Z to my A list!
This Thursday, I expect to receive the utmost show of gratitude on your behalf for my work in paving the road for you to even call yourself a mega star, kid. Furthermore, I expect you to show the SAME respect for the man who forms the other point of this triangle, Biggs. Sure, I can down talk him all I want but don't you dare think YOU have the right too!
I can't stand his guts but I can acknowledge that he has done more for this promotion then you ever have and he has actually earned himself a spot at MY table! You're here uninvited so you better lick the plate of humility we serve you clean or the next time we meet, I won't be so nice. No, I will verbally rip you a new asshole and the name Evan Envi will forver be synonymous with the word bitch made!
Now run along little Envi... the adults are going to handle their business now.
You see last week the APW showed the democracy around here means jackshit! There is no equality on this brand. There is no law and there is certainly no order! The fact that Terry Marvin can simply summon Biggs to the ring with that snap of his fingers and CHOOSE his opponent is complete and utter bullshit! Biggs deserves a title shot on what criteria exactly!? Since when are number one contenders determined how long you can last in a wrestling ring with the champion before he pins you!?
You sound like an IDIOT Biggs! Yes, you outlasted me! Yes, you even eliminated me with the help of Terry Marvin but NO you do NOT deserve a title shot! At the end of the day we both lost and we were both outperformed! There's a reason why you wouldn't dare wrestle me ONE on ONE like a man to determine the NEW number one contender and it's because you know that beating me was the hardest thing you've ever had to do - even harder then watching your wife divorce you and walk right out that front door...
Think about it for a second. Terry Marvin chose you to defend his title against, did he not? Is this not the same Terry Marvin who tried to get Kurt Noble removed from the elimination chamber? Or is it the same Terry Marvin that cheered me on when he thought I had physically removed Chris Hart from the match? Oh, hold on... it's the same Terry Marvin who took a short cut after short cut straight to the undisputed title, isn't it!?
So, am I at all surprised he chose you to defend his title again? Of course not! He has pinned you once clean under the most strenuous conditions and there isn't a question in his mind he can do it again; one on one. If you believe in Terry Marvin's mind that he chose YOU to defend his title against because he feels like he has less of a chance of walking out with the belt at Christmas Chaos, you're out of your goddamned mind!
Though in your heart, you know this. You are well aware that Terry Marvin has chosen you because he sees you as the easiest out to retain his title but that only fits your M.O perfectly. You love playing possum, pretending that your weaker then you actually are and catching those you cannot better by surprise. It's a strategy that has brought you a lot of success and for that I commend you.
In turn, I hope you appreciate when I smashed the steel chair into the back of your head. See, if you don't have it in yourself to step down as the number one contender, I reserve the right to do whatever I damn well want to further my career like you have selfishly done yours. Truthfully, I would've probably tried to break your neck out there but Terry Marvin has been cursed with the task to ensure his insurance policy - YOU - make it to Christmas Chaos in one piece so he can gift wrap himself a successful title defense.
See as far as your concerned you've been a thorn in my side and I'm starting to get extremely agitated. Every time I step in the ring with you it's like you leech off my energy and use it against me - how else can I possibly explain why the only time you seem to shine is when I am in the ring with you? I should probably be flattered Biggs but I'm not... in fact, I take it rather personal. This is personal.
IT'S FUCKING PERSONAL, GARY!
You don't like it when I talk about Ellie? Or when I talk about the divorced YOU caused? Well, too bad. It wasn't me who aired your dirty laundry all over television. It isn't me who let their significant other around the ring as if it looked anything like a kitchen. It also wasn't me who put my significant other in harms way with men like Terry Marvin and bat shit clinically insane Kurt Noble running around here swinging steel chairs. Is it my fault your were a HORRIBLE husband, Gary?
Apart of me thinks it is. You couldn't ever go through with your retirement because in the back of your head you knew that if you left; you'd leave a hall of famer but you'd never leave the best, so you came crawling back despite the best wishes from your ugly wife. You lied to her. You misled her. You only stepped away from the ring long enough to make her think you loved her more then you love wrestling while managing to cheat the system for a premature hall of fame induction, as well...
You're such a stand up guy, Gary.
You think I owe you something, Gary? I don't owe you a goddamn thing, Gary. Though, you're in debt to me forever, you ungrateful little bastard!
You respect because you have no other choice. Your biggest accomplishment in life involves beating me and ending a title rein established by me. While my victories over you? They are nothing more then a statistic.
I beat you, nothing more changes. You beat me, your more famous!
And yet here I am still ready prepared to die in the ring in the name of pride to get secure this victory - not to hold it over your head and watch you jump. Hell, not even to prove that I deserve a title shot against Terry Marvin instead of you. Nope. In fact, I just want to prove the reality of what I've said all along.
I beat you and nothing more changes.
You are undeserving and you'll always be undeserving.
Welcome to your reality, Gary.
Lying awake, I had nothing better to do.
I watched your life, while you came stumbling through...
Oh-a oh
For your decline, I give you all my sympathy
and I gave networks the ratings they want to see.
I hope there is no problem between you and me...
Oh-a oh
They wanna kill him
Oh-a oh
What did you tell them?
One killed the reality star
We slowly fade into to the star of the show who's occupying the bathroom. A natural in front of the camera's its almost as if they were invisible to him. Captivated by his own reflection, he adjusts the tie on his expensive Sean John suit. Tonight, he was preparing for a party in the heart of Holly Wood boulevard in one of the most exclusive night clubs in town.
''Are you sure you don't want an escort from the state troopers? It's not like they have anything important to do like arrest thief's, rapists and murders.'' Kia noted as she applied her eyeliner beside him.
''You know what? You're right.'' Lester agreed. ''Why pay taxes if it isn't even going to help your favorite television stars limousine get around the city safely? I'm sure they wouldn't mind us reallocating their resources for our personal benefit. After all, we are important people.''
''Exactly. I'll make the call.''
Kia applied the rest of her eyeliner before stepping out the bathroom with her cellphone in hand. Lester Only sinned long enough to take his eyes off his own reflection to acknowledge Violet sitting quietly with a gossip magazine in hand.
''Hey, Violet.'' Lester said earning her attention. ''You don't think this whole television show thing is self serving do you?''
''No, not at all...'' Violet replied in kind before rolling her eyes.
''Well, maybe I'm over thinking things. I mean, Mark Mania is an egoistical trust fund baby whom flaunts his wealth in the face of others and nobody seems to mind and unlike him, I actually earned all this.''
''Stop reading twitter, Lester. This world is filled with jealous people and the internet is where the little people feel they actually have a voice.''
''Yeah, but what if they're right?''
Violet raised an eyebrow over her magazine as a result of Lester's uncertainty. With a huff, she discarded the magazine and he took a seat beside her.
''Right about what?''
''Me not having it anymore.'' He admitted. ''Last week, I couldn't carry a three legged horse to the finish line. In the elimination chamber, I was defeated by a man child I know I'm perfectly capable of wrestling circles around. What if my best days are behind me? What if this big production, this show is nothing more then the universe's way of detailing the end of my story rather then a new beginning? What if...''
''What if?''
''What if I become just like them?''
He holds his glare as he picks up the gossip magazine and holds up the front cover, pointing to that weeks headline. Violet understood that the wrestling business wasn't any different then the entertainment business; one day you've gathered enough air miles to travel to the top of the world and in the next your plane is spiraling towards rock bottom and out of control. Boom.
Membership revoked.
#Celebritystatus
After being escorted by the police to the night club he stepped in line with the LeWinter sisters by his side. The three engaged in small talk for a few minutes before there was a disturbance upfront with a women and a security guard.
''What do you mean I'm not on the list!?'' She cried.
''Do you want a scientific explanation, lady? It isn't on the freaking list and I'm not going to tell you again. Scram!''
The security guard delivered the bottom line to the disheartened hopeful who stormed out the line in a tear induced fit. The LeWinter sisters laughed as Lester Only confidently approached security.
''What was up with that?'' Lester asked.
''I don't know. Ever since reality television became the new talk of this town the influx of wannabes increase tenfold. Before her, I sent back a self proclaimed YouTube star with 100, 000 subscribers.''
Lester grinned.
''Hash tag #celebritystatus huh?'' You've started quite the trend around the world, Mr. Only. It's about time someone of substance makes some noise in this fucked up celebrity culture. Head on in.''
The security guard doesn't even check the list as he steps aside allowing Lester Only and his female cohorts enter the premises. Immediately they are treated to the random noise that is techno music with strobe lights and glow sticks cutting through the darkness of night.
''Hey, Lester my man!'' Felipe DeLoren said upon finding Lester Only. ''This is the life my friend, we hit it big! You see that man right there?''
Felipe DeLoren points off into a vip section where an older gentlemen joined by three young blondes that don't appear to be his grandchildren. This conclusion is drawn by the way one is using her mouth as his jockstrap.
''Yeah dude and I seen more then enough!'' Lester said disgusted.
''He's the owner of the network we're on, he's a multi billionare.'' Felipe said green like evan envi. ''I talked to him tonight and he said he's happy with how the first episode of your show turned out and it's ratings; though, he's not too happy about Obama's second term as he HATES tax increases''
''Ugh, tell me about it.'' Lester said exasperated. ''Though, I shouldn't be getting too carried away tonight with a match against Biggs and Evan Envi on the horizon.''
''Yeah, yeah... now that you reached the quota where you feel like you have to mention your opponents let's actually do something fun. Lester, your a CELEBRITY man. It's time to live your life like one. Check it out.'' Mr. DeLoren said pointing at several dozen ladies the elite definition of beauty on a purely aesthetic level.
''I don't know, Felipe. I think I can look but I can't touch. Chlamydia and the herp isn't exactly my idea of a good time.''
''Come on Lester - they ALL got low self esteem!''
Lester sighed. ''Get me a drink will you? A coke - nothing fancy.''
''Alright buddy!'' Felipe said with a rare smile. ''I'm going to get that drink you asked me for...''
Lester turned to the LeWinter sisters who stood their with their arms crossed.
''Why do I have the feeling he's up to something?'' He raised the question to which they both responded in kind.
''Because he always is.''
#CelebrityStatus
''WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''
Lester downs another ''coke'' and steps off the dance floor feeling a high stronger then the first time he walked down a wrestling ramp. As he walks by a pretty women with jet black hair catches his eye as she clutches her purse and looks miserable.
''How are you doing, baby?"
He puts his hands on her waist and pulled her close. She wasn't sure if she should be offended or not but she knew who he was and could feel the weight of his pocket.
''The name is Kimmy but for some reason, I'm under the impression that your too much of a jerk to shake hands.''
''Fucker drugged my drink...'' Lester had tried to shake the cobwebs but the drugs were already doing it's work.
''Don't worry, it happens.'' Kimmy smiled. ''So, do you know who I am?''
''No.''
''Well, I know who you are.''
She sounded offended.
''Well then take off all your clothes and introduce yourself, properly.'' Lester said before slapping himself in the head. ''It's the drugs, I'm sorry...''
''I know that this week you have match against Biggs and Envi Evan.''
''No!'' He objected. ''As unimportant as he is the name is Evan Envi - I'm high and even I know that!''
Kimmy felt embarrassed. ''Okay, so I'm not a wrestling know it all and I only really follow the big names but your making quite a wave in this industry it's only a matter of time before you win the undisputed championship and beat Marvin Terry ''
''Terry Marvin!'' Lester corrected wild eyed. ''What can POSSIBLY be your EXCUSE for that one women!?''
''Well, I'm also dyslexic?''
''That explains it.''
An awkward silence follows as two let their eyes wander for several seconds before Lester Only turns his attention back to her.
''So, what do you do?''
Kimmy looked up at Lester with apprehension perhaps even embarrassment though she bit her lip and fought through it.
''It's a question of what I used to do.'' Kimmy explained. ''I used to be a reality television star but recently but luck has changed. The media they built me up, built me up as this huge reality television icon and then when ratings weren't appeasing my masters the media turned against me and made money off my name on the way down.''
''Tell me about!'' Lester shook his head. ''When your on top of your game everything goes right, you can't help but feel so unstoppable but when your not? It's tough, nothing is smooth sailings and you have to work twice as hard to get right back on top.''
''We have more in common then you think, Mr. Only'' Kimmy acknowledges with a grin. ''They portray you as a monster and they portray me as a empty, vapid twit but I am far more intelligent then I let on.''
''So since your all connected and everything can you tell me if the Illuminati is real?''
''The illumi.. what?''
''It's the goddamn drugs, I'm sorry!''
Kimmy giggled as she pressed her body up against Lester's seductively.
''Lester, I know we just met and this sounds crazy but you can't trust those people you surround yourself with. Why don't you come back to my place and sober up? Please?''
He thought about it for a split second.
#CelebrityStatus
They call it a triple threat for a reason. Three competitors step in one ring with their own talents, weaknesses and the desires to succeed. A triple threat because there is more then just one way you end up heading home the loser.
Now starring: Evan Envi
You don't belong in this match, Envi. I don't know how Johnny Diamond booked you to build your over hyped career over on Meltdown but he's fucking with my reputation, publicity and my money right now and I don't like it one bit. Last week, my team was rigged to fail after receiving aid from another useless xtreme champion and now I have to deal with another who wasn't even fit to hold the belt two weeks before.
You're right about one thing kid; you are treated unfairly. While I would love nothing more then to pin Bigg's shoulders to the mat, you have a bullzye on your ass and the word: ''Mark'' written right across your forehead and I guarantee Biggs is in agreement. Like Biggs, my goal here is to win and seeing who can pin Johnny Diamonds placeholder first seems like a pretty game strategy for the both of us!
Though, as of late I wouldn't be surprised if you and Biggs turned this into handicap match - there is something dark and sinister going on here and I'm going to shed light on it! The fact is, Biggs is NOT a worthy contender even if Terry Marvin coaxes him out from his dirty rat hole to say otherwise! Johnny Diamond knows I am better then Biggs and so a singles match is completely out the window - rather he inserts you the self proclaimed Mega MegaStar Evan Envi to take the fall no matter which way the tide goes!
However, as seasoned as I am these types of tactics are not beyond me. Every Thursday Night wrestling is show business. So, at this point it is not the bookers intentions that matters but rather what is Evan Envi going to do about it to throw a monkey wrench into the establishments plans?
Nothing.
Evan Envi can only walk away when his title on the line - he walks away from us? We won't chase him and he loses his greatest opportunity to pull the biggest upset seen on Overdrive in years!
As much as you like to run your mouth and entertain quite frankly you've become a caricature of your own self. We listen to what you say not because we take you seriously but rather for the unintentional hilarity that ensues. Is it really a surprise you found comradery with APW's resident clown for hire, Delikado? May I recommend a business venture to you? I can picture it now... the APW exchange program! There you can teach Biggs how to be remotely entertaining and he can actually teach you how to wrestle! Win, win...
Lose.
In those regards, I am the triple threat. An assassin who is well rounded in his approach with perfect 10's across the board, hear that Ms. Evans? I digress. Envi, the fact is your still green as hell and STILL resume building by wrestling on Meltdown in non - main event features! Though, don't worry. Right behind John Dionysus, you're literally on the brink of becoming a regular there so I'm glad that there is at least one bridge you've haven't torched yet, Envi.
The truth is, you've accomplished very little thus far and you've impressed me even less. I mean to your credit your quite the personality and I'm sure one day when you win a few more matches maybe you can mill in the background of one of my television promos but as of right now, you're a nobody and you haven't reached hash tag #celebritystatus on twitter!
A few people may recognize you here and there but you don't have your two faced haters flock around you begging for autographs to which they then sell on ebay because they're hard up for cash! See, Envi. Your buddy Terry Marvin may bring in ratings and is at top of the food chain for now but the entertainment industry has a long memory and one hit wonders don't appease nearly enough pallets. So while his stock continues to grow at rapid speed, mine still still remains higher admittedly with less growth.
You see when your as GREAT as I am? You aren't measured by your impressive performances or how close you came to victory. When your as GREAT as me, you don't have the cushion biggs has to fall back and rest your head on. I'd get laughed out of the building if I walked away from the elimination chamber touting the fact I eliminated CJ Gates or hung in there long enough with Terry Marvin. As great as I am, envi? There are no excuses. There are no fucking explanations. A loss is a loss and a win is a win because I'm a grown up dealing in the realm of professionals where the only thing that matters are statistical figures and bottom lines.
Say it with me, Envi. Evan Envi lost to Nick Watson.
It isn't Nickys fault you couldn't keep your sister on a tighter leash or rather left her at home entirely. It IS Nick Watson's fault he's probably bag piping her behind the scenes but like her big brother, I guess bad judgement runs in the family. Apparently, Sally Talfourd is looking to make WRESTLING cool again and dare I say it maybe she's a needed entity around here because I'm sick of your dysfunctional relationships thieving my camera time every week! In between Kurt Noble's whore wife, Terry Marvin and Faythe, Biggs and smelly Ellie and now your little sister dilemma Overdrive is becoming a weekly soap opera on some ''days of our lives'' bullshit! It's about time Dr. Phil or Jeremy Kyle hosts an APW special and puts an end to this nonsense once and for all!
Quite frankly, I am going to take a great pleasure in beating you. The blatant disrespect you've showed to me is unexplainable! How DARE you refer to yourself as the Mega MegaStar thereby by reasonable deduction insisting you are bigger and better then me or anyone else for that matter! Who even gave you that nickname? Nobody. You gave it to yourself which is ALL more pathetic! You might have some talent that can be tapped into three years from now but as of now, you don't fit the description! You are the Z to my A list!
This Thursday, I expect to receive the utmost show of gratitude on your behalf for my work in paving the road for you to even call yourself a mega star, kid. Furthermore, I expect you to show the SAME respect for the man who forms the other point of this triangle, Biggs. Sure, I can down talk him all I want but don't you dare think YOU have the right too!
I can't stand his guts but I can acknowledge that he has done more for this promotion then you ever have and he has actually earned himself a spot at MY table! You're here uninvited so you better lick the plate of humility we serve you clean or the next time we meet, I won't be so nice. No, I will verbally rip you a new asshole and the name Evan Envi will forver be synonymous with the word bitch made!
Now run along little Envi... the adults are going to handle their business now.
You see last week the APW showed the democracy around here means jackshit! There is no equality on this brand. There is no law and there is certainly no order! The fact that Terry Marvin can simply summon Biggs to the ring with that snap of his fingers and CHOOSE his opponent is complete and utter bullshit! Biggs deserves a title shot on what criteria exactly!? Since when are number one contenders determined how long you can last in a wrestling ring with the champion before he pins you!?
You sound like an IDIOT Biggs! Yes, you outlasted me! Yes, you even eliminated me with the help of Terry Marvin but NO you do NOT deserve a title shot! At the end of the day we both lost and we were both outperformed! There's a reason why you wouldn't dare wrestle me ONE on ONE like a man to determine the NEW number one contender and it's because you know that beating me was the hardest thing you've ever had to do - even harder then watching your wife divorce you and walk right out that front door...
Think about it for a second. Terry Marvin chose you to defend his title against, did he not? Is this not the same Terry Marvin who tried to get Kurt Noble removed from the elimination chamber? Or is it the same Terry Marvin that cheered me on when he thought I had physically removed Chris Hart from the match? Oh, hold on... it's the same Terry Marvin who took a short cut after short cut straight to the undisputed title, isn't it!?
So, am I at all surprised he chose you to defend his title again? Of course not! He has pinned you once clean under the most strenuous conditions and there isn't a question in his mind he can do it again; one on one. If you believe in Terry Marvin's mind that he chose YOU to defend his title against because he feels like he has less of a chance of walking out with the belt at Christmas Chaos, you're out of your goddamned mind!
Though in your heart, you know this. You are well aware that Terry Marvin has chosen you because he sees you as the easiest out to retain his title but that only fits your M.O perfectly. You love playing possum, pretending that your weaker then you actually are and catching those you cannot better by surprise. It's a strategy that has brought you a lot of success and for that I commend you.
In turn, I hope you appreciate when I smashed the steel chair into the back of your head. See, if you don't have it in yourself to step down as the number one contender, I reserve the right to do whatever I damn well want to further my career like you have selfishly done yours. Truthfully, I would've probably tried to break your neck out there but Terry Marvin has been cursed with the task to ensure his insurance policy - YOU - make it to Christmas Chaos in one piece so he can gift wrap himself a successful title defense.
See as far as your concerned you've been a thorn in my side and I'm starting to get extremely agitated. Every time I step in the ring with you it's like you leech off my energy and use it against me - how else can I possibly explain why the only time you seem to shine is when I am in the ring with you? I should probably be flattered Biggs but I'm not... in fact, I take it rather personal. This is personal.
IT'S FUCKING PERSONAL, GARY!
You don't like it when I talk about Ellie? Or when I talk about the divorced YOU caused? Well, too bad. It wasn't me who aired your dirty laundry all over television. It isn't me who let their significant other around the ring as if it looked anything like a kitchen. It also wasn't me who put my significant other in harms way with men like Terry Marvin and bat shit clinically insane Kurt Noble running around here swinging steel chairs. Is it my fault your were a HORRIBLE husband, Gary?
Apart of me thinks it is. You couldn't ever go through with your retirement because in the back of your head you knew that if you left; you'd leave a hall of famer but you'd never leave the best, so you came crawling back despite the best wishes from your ugly wife. You lied to her. You misled her. You only stepped away from the ring long enough to make her think you loved her more then you love wrestling while managing to cheat the system for a premature hall of fame induction, as well...
You're such a stand up guy, Gary.
You think I owe you something, Gary? I don't owe you a goddamn thing, Gary. Though, you're in debt to me forever, you ungrateful little bastard!
You respect because you have no other choice. Your biggest accomplishment in life involves beating me and ending a title rein established by me. While my victories over you? They are nothing more then a statistic.
I beat you, nothing more changes. You beat me, your more famous!
And yet here I am still ready prepared to die in the ring in the name of pride to get secure this victory - not to hold it over your head and watch you jump. Hell, not even to prove that I deserve a title shot against Terry Marvin instead of you. Nope. In fact, I just want to prove the reality of what I've said all along.
I beat you and nothing more changes.
You are undeserving and you'll always be undeserving.
Welcome to your reality, Gary.
BONUS FOOTAGE
[post hashtag #celebritystatus era]
In her mansion Kimmy shiankarda sat on the edge of her bed wearing nothing but a bra and panties with a cellphone in hand making an urgent call. On the other end a flamboyant gay male of a gossip website picked up the phone.
''Parez, where the hell did you get your information!?'' Kimmy screamed into the phone. ''There is no way in hell sleeping with the shiankarda's ISN'T being renewed for it's sixth season!''
...
''What do you mean ratings are at an all time low and the network is looking to take their programming in a different direction!? Parez, you better hope this is just another time your stupid little website is incorrect!''
...
''Replaced!? By who!?''
...
''Lester Only?'' She hissed. ''Who the FUCK is Lester Only!? Do they NOT know how FAMOUS I am!? I am the STAR of that network and their going to replace me with some guy who rolls around in body sweat for a living? EW!''
Parez had enough and hung up the phone. This left Kimmy to stew in her own rage before she pulled up the world wide web on her smartphone.
''If this Lester Only character is trending past hashtag #Iamfamous I am going to hit a four day purge streak.''
*click* google trends *click* trending now *click*
1. #CelebrityStatus
