Dieser Titel ist in Deutsch!

[Delikado]

Some-Kinda-Something-Productions presents
B O S S
Episode 25 – “Dieser Titel ist in Deutsch!”

Steak 'n Shake[/u]

The scene opens outside the restaurant, in the back-lot, where Boss Delikado is standing and tapping his boot-covered foot onto the pavement. Heavy rock music blares in the background as the Cuban looks ahead at Jet Carrington, with determination in his eyes against Jet’s fear as he holds a dummy used for training. Delikado leaps up and down and rolls his neck, groaning as the music continues to play and the rest of the Deli Tee Vee crew watches in silence. To the beat, Delikado slides a cigar from his pocket and inserts it into his mouth, lighting it in a stylish manner, which seems to unnerve the Carrington further. Jet extends his dummy forward a little, as if to invite what’s next to come.

Boss Delikado: Here we go. Like a Bawse…Like…a—

Delikado charges forward and arcs his leg up toward the dummy in Jet’s hands. The smaller Carrington squeaks like a mouse as Delikado delivers the Last Call to Cuba onto the dummy…only for his foot to bend against the dummy’s head, and he slips and falls to the pavement with a hard thud.

Boss Delikado: Ohhhhh for the tom-assery of shit! OW! OWWWWW! God damn you Ron Reynolds, you stupid, ugly, terrible white boy! You set Delikado up for that, you didn’t hold the thing right, you jacked up his training dummies! Delikado will murder you in cold blood and eat your unborn children, God damn it and you Ron Reynolds!

Ron Reynolds stands in shock some ten feet away from the scene.

Ron Reynolds: I wasn’t involved in any of this…

Boss Delikado: I WILL EAT YOU! LITERALLY EAT YOU! You don’t think Delikado has it in him, but you have NO idea! NONE! CANNIBAL CHAMPION THREE YEARS IN A ROW DURING MY PRISON DAYS!! THREE—

Sofia Monzón: Del. We need to focus. You said we were going to stop here to talk strategy for Azrael.

Delikado leaps off the ground, shaking the grit out of his hair and goatee as he recovers from his crash.

Boss Delikado: Gah. Delikado always has you guys railing on his back to “talk” about stuff. In case you weren’t aware of the FACTS!, I’ve been doing this shit for, like, ever. Delikado knows what he’s doing, when he’s going to do it, and where he’s going to do it, against him he’s going to said shit against…or for…against. You all want Delikado to focus and prepare for his match with Azrael, but how can he do that when you’re all telling him to prepare for his match with Azrael!? Preparing inside a separate act of preparation is witchcraft, and Delikado may as well kill himself if he invites black people magic onto the Deli Tee Vee elements he owns and rules like a Bawse!

Sofia: I’m just saying. This is a contest unlike any other you’ve experienced in some time. The outcome can be quite beneficial to us…or a hindrance. All we’re doing is seeing you get the outcome you want.

Boss Delikado: Oh, you all think YOU’RE the ones who want to get certain outcomes? Delikado’s gotten plenty of outcomes he wants, and he’s had to do it with boots that are falling apart and hardly becoming of a top-tier talent like myself!

Delikado leans down and rips off one of his boots, holding it up to reveal the boot is stretched and torn and generally ancient-looking.

Boss Delikado: Look at this! It’s a travesty. What Delikado needs is boots that represents power and a total control of his surroundings. THAT is what one needs to do proper battle against a German like Azrael Goeren! Right now Delikado’s boots make him look like a 1940s Jew!

Everyone Else: <awkward> Oooooooooooooooh…….

Boss Delikado: What? Now Delikado’s just gotta get a diary so he can go write about his problems and one day hope the rest of the world sees the hardships Delikado had to go through here with his shitty boots and a Main Event match against APW’s resident psycho closet-Nazi.

Sofia: Your match isn’t the Main Event.

Boss Delikado: ………..All the more reason to chronicle Delikado’s difficult living.

Sofia: Besides, I don’t think BOOTS are your ticket to defeating Azrael. And your training right here in the parking lot of a Steak ‘n Shake isn’t much of an aid either. This team needs to crack down, really PLAN how to approach this sort of fight.

Delikado sighs and approaches his crew, looking rather humble all of a sudden.

Boss Delikado: That’s quite a message. In fact that’s what this whole week is about: sending a message. A message that the REAL APW is here with Evan and me and some other dudes worthy of leading the pack. We need to show teamwork, drive, and tenacity to overcome even the toughest challenge, no matter who it is or what flag they salute. Live or die, that first one’s the dream, the reality we experience every day in this great company: living. Living as we choose. Dying is the other option, what happens if we let make-believe crazy dog people like Azrael have their say and run rampant over the legacy of the APW. It’s mostly because they’re already dead on the inside, that’s why Azrael and Mark and so many others do what they do. They don’t have what good guys like me and Evan got with Envikado. Hell, they don’t have the closest shred of the element we possess and use to our God-given benefit every day and every night we ride into the APW ring and leave it all behind. You know what those bullshitting types like Delikado’s opponent don’t have? Heart.

Delikado smiles and nods softly, getting a look of inspiration from the rest of his team……and then Delikado steps back and delivers the Last Call to Cuba onto Ron Reynolds, right in the chest!

Boss Delikado: And now they don’t have a HEART ATTACK either! Because THAT belongs to Ron Reynolds! FUCK YOU, BRO! HOLD THE DUMMY STRAIGHT NEXT TIME!

Delikado kicks up dust onto the floored Ron Reynolds and walks toward the Steak ‘n Shake.

Boss Delikado: All of you join me inside now.

The DTV members exchange looks but do follow their Bawse into the restaurant. The Cuban rolls his neck as he looks around the deserted room and then makes a bee-line for a nearby collection of tables.

Boss Delikado: Okay, let’s talk the strategy then. Delikado’s going to get some videos on Azrael, not watch them, and then he’ll go out to the ring and wage blind war against that self-righteous douche like it’s World War 3. Like World War 3, the match will be a German’s fault and he will ultimately lose and bring shame on the legacy of his entire world.

Sofia: Do you REALLY expect that to keep working, not taking into account ANY of your opponents’ past works, matches, or even their frame of mind…?

Boss Delikado: Hey, Sofia, what was it Delikado was just saying he had in him? That little thing that rises above all and will ultimately lead him to sexy wins in a dominating fashion over all the undeserved, fake-crazy masses that Azrael represents?

Delikado points to his neck as he sits down in a chair.

Boss Delikado: Heart.

BAH-BAM!

Suddenly, the door to the Steak ‘n Shake is kicked open, and several men in black uniforms rush the restaurant, surrounding Delikado and the gang.

Jet Carrington: HOLY SNEAKERS!!

Lead Thug: Everybody SHUT UP!

Lily Smith: W-Who are you??

Lead Thug: We’re the Fourth Reich, the largest fanclub of Azrael Goeren! And we’ve come to get YOU, Delikado, and your Deli Tee Vee!

Delikado, in an almost nonchalant fashion, turns to his team.

Boss Delikado: Yeaaaah, plot-twist, you guys. The match with Azrael Goeren just got a lot more personal.

Sofia: What the hell is happening here, Del…?

Boss Delikado: Pretty much everything Delikado hoped for. You see, before Delikado arrived to the Steak ‘n Shake, he rode his Smart Car Monster Truck over a rally established in honor of Azrael and all his achievements in CWC and stuff.

Sofia: You mean you rode TO their rally, not OVER, right?

Boss Delikado: No. Delikado wanted to piss off Azrael’s fanclub so they would hunt Delikado, which in turn would lead him to a fight with them, of which Delikado will inevitably win, and then he’ll have all the material and smarts he needs to fight and defeat Azrael Goeren. After all, what is a professional wrestler but an extension of his fanbase, am I right?

Sofia: But you…you…you brought us all here. This is insane! And you didn’t possibly think of mentioning this plan so the rest of us could be prepared?? We’re not at all conditioned to fight!

Delikado seems to suddenly realize this as he looks at the rest of his team, who are giving him stupefied, horrified looks. Still, the Cuban does not look concerned for their safety.

Boss Delikado: Oooooh, yeah, you guys don’t have any weapons, do you? You’re probably gonna get hurt…..well, at least Delikado brought weapons of his own.

He holds up his fists and kisses them one at a time before smiling confidently, while his teammates narrow their eyes in anger.

Boss Delikado: Delikado’s just looking out for a top-quality match with his opponents, you guys. Don’t hate the playa, hate the guy who made the world “playa.”

Fourth Reich Leader: ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT THAT WE’VE LET GO ON AN ABNORMALLY LONG AMOUNT OF TIME!! GET IN THE VANS!!

Jet: Hey, it’s like that field trip I went on in the 4th Grade!

(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)

The fans park outside a large mansion and the doors open up. Delikado and the gang are immediately shifted out by the Fourth Reich members and up the stairs. Inside the mansion, a group of people in suits turns and glares at Delikado specifically. Sofia, who is being pushed alongside the Cuban, catches the looks Da Bawse is getting.

Sofia: Jesus, you really pissed these guys off with whatever you did.

Boss Delikado: Actually that’s how all Germans look. Hell, you stand in the back when Azrael is speaking, you don’t even need to be looking at a TV screen to know he’s scowling the entire time he’s talking. Also none of us have blond hair or blue eyes, so we’re kinda counter to their idea of the perfect people.

The Reich leader pushes the group into a room where several more people in suits are seen standing around…an open casket. Inside is a woman. It’s a wake. One man standing near the casket scowls more than everyone else and approaches Delikado. He speaks in a thick German accent.

Mourner: How DARE you show yourself after all these years! She waited for you for YEARS, and it takes her DEATH for you to show up?! Sie können in diesem Leben leiden und die nächste, Schweine!

The mourner spits in Delikado’s face and walks away. The rest of the Cuban’s crew stares at him with immense confusion on their faces.

Sofia: Seriously, Delikado, just WHAT have you been doing?

Nonchalantly, Delikado turns to his confused team.

Boss Delikado: Yeaaaah, plot-twist, you guys. The dead lady in that casket that everyone is mourning is my baby sister.

Jet: I didn’t even get an introduction? Not cool, man.

Boss Delikado: She’s half-German and she was also a major, and Delikado does mean MAJOR, fan and supporter of Azrael Goeren . The Fourth Reich was her fanclub to him, and this is the mansion they operated out of. For twenty years Delikado ignored her pleas for a reunion and then five years ago she got AIDs and just kicked the bucket as you can all see. No doubt her club has since brought Delikado here to forcefully pay his respects and then be squashed by their idol Azrael for my actions. Way to get at Deli from beyond the grave, sis.

Another mourner, a young woman, approaches Delikado and smacks him.

Female Mourner: Nie jesteś moim bratem!

She walks away in an emotional huff while Delikado rubs his cheek.

Boss Delikado: Delikado’s other sister. She’s half-Polish. Kinda made it strange in a historically symbolic sense when she and my German sister fought.

Delikado grins as everyone around him is either enraged by his presence or baffled.

(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)

The DTV team, along with the mourners, are now standing by a lake as Delikado’s sister’s body has been put on a large collection of floating logs, set aflame, and sent drifting to the middle of the lake as bagpipe music plays in the background. Delikado looks distant, even as the Fourth Reich leader comes up behind him and kneels toward him, giving the Cuban a venomous look.

FR Leader: I hope you’re proud of yourself. You put that girl through hell for years with your selfishness and rejection. But I also take solace in knowing that Azrael will murder your ass. Karma’s gonna be done, Cuban bitch. We’ll leave you here to think about that for a while. Heh, heh, heh….

The man walks away, as do the rest of the mourners, and Delikado and his gang stand silently by the lake. After some quiet few moments, Delikado deeply sighs and shakes his head.

Boss Delikado: Wow. Really puts things into perspective…

Lily: You mean like the frailty of life and how each day should be cherished? How you shouldn’t let each week of your career be motivated by greed and maliciousness, because the people you carry it out against are just as mortal as you or I? That Azrael Goeren is just as human as anyone else, no matter what actions or words or perceptions may make him out to be, and that you should treat him with dignity and give him all the good graces you have to make a five-star, quality match on behalf of not only yourself or the fans, but also your dear departed sister who only wanted to bring everyone together?

Boss Delikado: No, Delikado means like how stupid those German boners were to think they could defeat me. We need to hurry up and finish our business here, and fast, everyone.

Sofia: Why?

That nonchalant look returns to Delikado’s face as he turns to the gang.

Boss Delikado: Yeaaaah, plot-twist, you guys.

Sofia: Oh what the fu—

Boss Delikado: You see before this ceremony began, Delikado put a buttload of explosives under his dead sister’s log raft thing. Explosives that will destroy this entire area, taking the Azrael Goeren fanclub with it. Explosives that will go off in ten minutes from now and are completely unstoppable at this point.

Sofia: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Boss Delikado: Because the truth is my sister was mentally imbalanced. It should be obvious, because only the completely coo-coo like or support anything done by Azrael Goeren ever. That dude’s batshit out of his mind and eats babies. This fanclub is a lie, a giant mistake, and a figment of that crazy little girl’s mind. It has to be destroyed for her sake, for all the wrong it’s done and is still capable of doing. It also sends a message to Azrael that this is OUR world, OUR APW, and it will NOT tolerate his devious intentions. Delikado sending this club out is just step number eight in a giant scheme of things that will keep the APW on the path of goodness.

Sofia: You’re NUTS! You’re INSANE! I don’t know WHY I still work for you after all this SHIT on top of SHIT you’ve thrown at us over the years! You should be the one burning in that lake! You’re like a demon that won’t stop! Well it’s time SOMEONE stops here, because I QUIT!

Sofia starts to turn and leave. The rest of the Deli Tee Vee team exchange looks like they might leave, which sparks Delikado to step forward with an injured expression. Tears begin to form in his eyes.

Boss Delikado: Please, guys, those Azrael fans, those “friends” my sister kept don’t care about what this club will do to her good name. They just want Azrael to win, to destroy, to do….stuff! Sick, twisted stuff! We have to do this for her! Ever since the day my sister was brought home from the hospital, Delikado’s done wrong by her….granted, it didn’t help she took my things and we were broke-ass poor and—I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT, STOP LOOKING AT ME!!! Point is, this Delikado’s Sis-Sis, you guys! HIS SIS-SIS! SHE MUST BE HONORED BY AZRAEL’S DISHONORING!! It’s time some good, REAL good, is done! Please…

The team members stop in their tracks and turn around as Delikado hangs his head and sniffs sadly. Sofia, who has led the way, crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.

Sofia: Fine….sure, we’ll help you. But Delikado, I swear to God, if you throw us for ONE more twist…

Delikado lifts his head up and wipes away a tear as he sees his teammates return to him.

Boss Delikado: Delikado doesn’t know WHAT he did to deserve you all.

Dropping his sadness and relief at the same time, Delikado marches toward the mansion.

Boss Delikado: Alright, let’s make this quick. Delikado needs to check to make sure everything’s as it should be in the mansion, then we can all head back home.

Through the flower fields and up the hill and up the stairs does Boss Delikado go with his team until they enter the mansion, which is now deserted. As they trek through the rooms, Delikado rips a curtain off the wall and turns it into a bag, which he then begins to pile stuff into.

Lily: What are you doing?

Boss Delikado: Oh, just collecting a few things to remember Delikado’s sis by. It’ll help in the…grieving and whatnot.

Delikado takes a picture of his sister and tosses it into the curtain-bag he’s made. With the bag full of trinkets and small possessions of his deceased sibling, Delikado then enters a room full of clothing and shoes. Appearing to be looking for something in particular, the Cuban walks alongside rows of clothing and shoes.

Lily: You know, in a weird and slightly destructive way, this is a niceness you’re doing, Deli. I think I and the rest of the DTV team see that the potential to do good really IS in you. Why, if this is you showing us the thoughtful future you plan to give APW, I think we’re in for a treat. Maybe Azrael’s wrong, maybe the future ISN’T going to be bloody and destroyed. Maybe it’ll be you, Delikado, who rejuvenates a sport plagued with corruption and evil. Maybe it’ll be YOU who brings in a new dawn, as a Bawse we can all—

Delikado stops next to a glass display that houses some old-fashioned military boots and uses the curtain-bag to smash the glass to pieces. Lily is cut off with a gasp, as is everyone else as they stop.

Lily: Why did you do that?!

Nonchalantly Delikado turns.

Boss Delikado: Yeaaaah, plot-twist, you guys.

Sofia: GOD-FREAKING-DAMN IT, I KNEW IT!!

Boss Delikado: The truth is Delikado’s sister means nothing to him. Not her legacy, not her club, nothing she did in life holds importance to me. To be honest, Delikado even forgot her NAME ages ago. But some things you never forget, like the fact that my sister was also a bit of an Adolf Hitler fan. And that she obsessively collected things he owned…

Delikado moves the last shards of glass and grabs the boots, holding them up.

Boss Delikado: Like these boots!

Delikado goes over to a recliner, kicks off his dirty old wrestling boots, and pulls on Hitler’s military boots. They fit him perfectly.

Boss Delikado: Ahhhh, like a glove if gloves were made for feet. Plus it goes well with what Delikado mentioned before when he said he needed boots that represent power and a total control of surroundings. What better boots to convey that than Hitler’s boots, huh? That and it works that Delikado’s facing a German this week. Exceptionally well actually, and ironic, since I’ll be kicking Azrael in the face with boots worn by the German’s own Jesus.

Sofia: Oh my God, this is the darkest thing I think you’ve ever done.

This falls deaf on Delikado’s ears as he parades around in his new boots, examining himself in the mirror with a satisfied expression.

Boss Delikado: And boy the timing really could NOT have been more perfect with Delikado’s sister dying. Sometimes Delikado thought that bitch would NEVER bite the bullet. It’d bring her club together to cry and crap, so Delikado can get rid of them as well, putting a dent in Azrael’s fanbase—course, he SAYS he doesn’t need the fans, or people for that matter, but we all know that’s a lie. Hell, even Delikado needs people. So, Delikado would get his hands on these Hitler boots, then when Azrael’s weak from lack of momentum, and speechless in the face of Delikado’s in…CREDIBLE…strategy, I use my Bawse nature, kick him in the face with these sexy boots, beat his ass, and all is right on the path to “Delikado Ruling APW Happy-Town”. This plan really did come together nicely, Delikado’s glad you were all here to see it.

Delikado tosses his old boots aside and casually walks out of the room, leaving his team speechless.

Boss Delikado: Oh, and that “giant explosion destroying everything” thing was true. You all *might* wanna leave with Deli.

Delikado continues to smile with warm affection (for himself) as Sofia and the others slowly, silently follow him. The scene slowly fades out and then fades back in to everyone riding in a car, as their getaway from the mansion plays out. There’s no sound but the car driving as Delikado, who is sitting in the passenger seat, has his feet placed on the dashboard, admiring the Hitler boots he now owns. Sofia, driving, glances briefly at the crazy Cuban with a look that says she really isn’t all that surprised by what’s happened today, given Delikado’s nature that is in another world all its own.

Sofia: Are you proud of yourself today? Got a big old jolly in your step now, don’tcha?

Boss Delikado: I will be in—

An explosion echoes far off in the background, signaling the detonation of the explosives Delikado mentioned.

Boss Delikado: Delikado is now reasonably satisfied.

Sofia: And you do understand how utterly insane all this was, correct? Then again, I guess that goes with what you said earlier.

Boss Delikado: Hmm?

Sofia: What you said about you having “heart.” I don’t think even Azrael Goeren would go this far for ANYTHING, especially just some boots. Furthermore, if you’ll do this much for something as little as pieces of clothing, it begs the question how far you’ll go to get things done in APW. It’s a scary thought, sure, but you definitely proved a point today that nothing will stop you from getting whatever it is you want. Not one damn thing…

Boss Delikado: Heeeey, you make a good point! Delikado DOESN’T let anything get in his way! Not people, not actions, not words like “no”, I truly will fight to the death for my shit! It’s just another example of why I’m so great, I guess. Azrael is gonna have to watch his back, because there’s only one future that’s gonna be had, and it’ll be MINE! Mine, mine, mine, miiiiiiiiine…

Delikado begins to snicker deviously as the rest of the team looks on in discomfort. As they drive along the road, Sofia suddenly spots something and brings the vehicle to a stop. She looks out in the distance.

Sofia: What is that…?

Delikado stops admiring his Hitler boots long enough to look out where Sofia is examining.

Delikado appears to lose all interest in his boots as his eyes widen and his face lightens up. A small grin passes the Cuban’s lips as he stares at this distant sight.

Boss Delikado: I dunno………but I want it.

The scene cuts to black.

To be continued…

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