Post by Evan De Parker on Nov 14, 2012 21:59:02 GMT -4
”You wouldn’t win. I just couldn’t fathom it... You wouldn’t even make it past level one.”
”I’ve never watched a Level One match.”
From darkness, we blink into color and we are in a scene that is unfamiliar even to the most loyal of viewers... The self-proclaimed MegaMegaStar, Evan Envi, is in a brick-based basement that is presumably located in his Baltimore home. It is a part of the house that we’ve only ever received mere glimpses over throughout the past five and a half years.
And it is a spectacle.
In a rare self-inflicted breach of privacy, Evan allows the camera to survey the basement, which features several vintage pinball machines, featuring the likes of Batman, Pacman, and the Beatles. Along the southern wall rest slot machines. A billiards table commits to a home in the center of the basement, while a fully-stocked bar entices us near the back.
Almost every square inch of the multi-colored brick walls are decorated with models, that have now aged or deceased... Cleo Moore, Marilyn Monroe, Susan Hayward, Audrey Hepburn, Rita Hayworth-- many more that are hardly given the time to be distinguished. Within seconds, we are focused on Evan again and he sits on a beige couch, reclining comfortably on it as he smirks at the camera.
”I’ve caught glimpses. I’ve seen him around in the back. I even saw a good chunk of the Elimination Chamber at One Night in Hell-- but I’ve never sat down and watched Lester Only wrestle. I’ve never said ‘sup’ to him in the back. I’ve never made eye contact with him.
“Nothing.
“Because I knew this day would come.
“I knew there would be a day that I would have to come face-to-face with the man that I always kind of blindly associated with the term ‘the best’ around these parts. Without any proof of my own to validate it, I convinced myself and accepted that Level One was the best there was.
“The best.
“Nobody has more Undisputed Championship reigns. Nobody else in APW can say that they are a two[/i] time True Expert Champion. On paper, there are very few men in this company-- no-- in this entire business that can compare to him. In fact, one of the few men that has the balls to try is a man named... Biggs, but we’ll get to you in a bit. Won’t we?
“But when it comes to Level One, I can’t sit here and tell you that I’m afraid of him because I have a merely a vague idea of what he’s capable of. I am, however, intimidated by this-- this legacy that he leads. His record alone shows me that he’s able to not only stand in the same ring as men and women that have been heralded as the best before I even laced up a pair of boots for the first time-- but he can beat them. Soundly.
“If the situation calls for it, he can annihilate them.
“You can, right, Only?”[/color]
The camera slowly begins to pan in on Evan, who upon closer glance is dressed in a black #Nightmarefuel t-shirt, and sits with his arm around the back of the couch, positioned in a way that would suggest that the young Baltimore native had company here-- company that we simply cannot see.
”I don’t have that kind of track record, y’know? I’ve never been the guy to carry the World Championships and until recently, I’ve never even been a household name.
“I never got the same respect as Level One, and in turn, I never had the same pressures. Sure, people could point at me and belittle me for my shortcomings, and criticize me for not immediately living up to the wild expectations of everybody around me-- and people could point to Level One and say that he lost a step or two since he was the sole focus of Action Packed Wrestling. People could say that Level One hasn’t been Level One since he lost to a man named... Biggs.
“But I’m just judging by statistics here. It’s all on paper, really. It all comes back to the fact that I have never taken the time to watch Lester Only compete because I knew, the moment I signed a contract with APW, that I would have to face the absolute best at some point. And I decided that I wasn’t going to cheat myself out of a win by watching the tapes, and watching what you did to Chris Hart, and watching what you’ve done to people like Pence Weatherlight, Bryan Payne, and Sally.
“I decided that I wasn’t going to try to just... Be better than you, Only, because that...
“That would indicate that I have some sort of ceiling. I could aspire to be greater than you, and then what happens after I do beat you? I grow complacent, and I lose my bearings once I’ve defeated the single greatest star in APW history. I beat you, and I fail to capitalize on the success. I fail to acquire my rightful Undisputed Championship shot. I fail to beat the ‘next big thing’ that comes walking through these doors...”
It appears that Evan is about to continue with his tirade, but something entirely nonmaterial grabs his attention. His eyes are unfocused until they drift back toward the lens and he points his index finger, first at the camera, and then at himself.
”I don’t just want to get past Level One. I want to take the entire game by storm and-- and that’s just so FUCKING hard.
“It’s not-- things aren’t like they were when I first came here. The uphill battle is a hell of a lot steeper when my opponents are all former Overdrive Champions, former World Heavyweight Champions, former Undisputed Champions.
“Thursday nights are not the EVAN ENVI show... Okay. It’s not my program and THAT was a hard, hard pill to swallow. Let me tell you... When you go from having two hours every Monday night, for months, centered around you, your head gets fucking huge.
“When I first got drafted to Overdrive, I believed that the situation would be the same here. I BELIEVED that I would be recognized as the cream of the crop just like I was on Monday nights, because I’m Evan Envi and that’s what I deserve... Hahahaha.”
Chuckling, Evan buries his face into his hands. He lowers them toward his lips and looks off, once again at the nonmaterial presence that seems so adamant about maintaining his attention.
”It’s not easy. Being on Overdrive was never promised to be easy. I knew. I knew that coming here.
“I knew it when I saw Chris Hart being carted away the week after Shockwave.”
He eagerly pushes himself up and as if it was what he’d been intending to do the entire time, he makes his way over to the bar in the far end of his basement. The cameras follow him and Evan retrieves a beer-- a Corona, from the fridge. He pulls it up onto the bar and sets it down, fumbling for a utensil to pry the cap.
”I followed the Chris Hart story closely for what seemed like an eternity. I was one of the people questioning whether he was even breathing, and I’ll tell you right now-- watching Chris get wheeled through the back, and watching them gauze all the blood off of his face... And seeing that far-away look in his eyes-- and-- and watching them scramble to get him into the ambulance... It was...”
Evan laughs, and the laughter seems eerily out of place. He finally finds a bottle opener somewhere beneath the bar and peels the lid off of the Corona. He raises the chilled glass to his lips, and within seconds has drained half of its contents. He lowers it, gingerly wipes his mouth, and continues.
”It was beautiful.”
He takes another drink and lowers it.
”It was a testament to your power, Only. And I didn’t even see the match, haha... I didn’t even see the fucking match, but the aftermath sent SHOCKWAVES reverberating throughout the entire world. You pushed APW to the edge by stopping its heart. Even without the Undisputed Title on your shoulder, you were making more people talk than I was. Even in defeat, you were more prominent than me in victory.
“You destroyed a man. You made complete strangers cry over a man that they’ve only watched behind a television screen for years.
“It was a beautiful, gorgeous display of power. It was inspiring. It added to this legacy, and it furthered the idea in my own head that you were nothing short of...
“The best.”
Evan finishes the bottle and tosses it aside into the trash can. His gaze is set downward and he drums his finger along the wooden finish along the top of the bar.
”Well. I want it.
“I want to make strangers weep for my opponents.
“I want to be trending on Twitter.
“I want to go beyond Level One.”
Again, Evan raises a single finger. He leans over the bar toward the camera and smiles faintly.
“I’m gonna completely change the entire complexion of this game.”
***
”Are you gonna ignore me today too?”
The scene changes abruptly, to the living room of Evan’s Baltimore home. He stands with his arms crossed in front of a girl that the casual viewer may have become quite familiar with over the past several weeks... The ten-year-old, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Green Party representative Chastity Weaver sits cross-legged on Evan’s couch, staring ahead amusedly at the television.
”We don’t have to call it ‘ignoring’, Mr. Evan. We could always run with the idea that I’m blissfully unaware of your presence.”
”Yeah, well, I wish I could say the same but... I’m stuck with you until the morning.”
It’s true.
Michelle Weaver had, for the third time in a seven-day period, left this demon child with Evan. She truly appeared innocent in her Adventure Time t-shirt, her black skirt, and her bright red leggings-- a combination that would warrant a dirty look from anybody that had even a mildly traditional fashion sense.
Evan Envi knows better though.
He is dressed in the same manner that he was earlier, though the sun has set and even in the mild hour of 6:00 in the evening, the outside air is filled with nothing but cold, and apparent emptiness. Not even the moon makes an appearance at this point.
”You’re not stuck with me. Let’s call this what it really is.”
Chastity points the remote control at the TV and mutes the volume before gazing up at Envi.
”I’m here because at the end of the day, I get to say, ‘Hey guys, guess who my babysitter is’? Predictably, my friends ask ‘Who?’ At this point I tell them everything. They’re wowed. They ooooh. They ahhhh. I’m the popular kid for the day, and then we all go about our business. They continue learning their multiplication tables, and I continue progressing toward an inevitable political science major, watching with disappointment as Barack Obama drives our country into the very dirt it was built from. Meanwhile, you continue to sleep with my cousin and we both pretend that you’re gonna stick around long enough to mean anything more to me than a guy that Michelle used to date.
“That’s what this is.”
She turns and promptly unmutes the television, drowning out whatever Evan was about to say. Hastily, he reaches for the remote and snatches it out of her hands, killing the volume again.
”You are SO mean, kid.”
”Hah... Wait.”
Chastity pushes herself up so she is standing on the couch, bringing her to eye-level with Evan. Evan narrows his eyes and steps in front of the child.
”You treat people the way you do, but you can’t handle it when a ten year old girl tells you the same things about yourself that you already know? Grow up, dude.”
” I don’t have to sit here and take this from you.”
”That’s right. You don’t.”
Chastity hops down off of the couch and gestures toward the front door.
”Kick me out. Send me into the freezing, bitter cold. I’m sure Michelle would absolutely love that.”
”Kid, what kind of games are you trying to play here?”
”Games? Mr. Evan, I’m not playing games with you. I’ve been nothing but straightforward with you since we’ve met.”
”Bull. You claim to be a ten-year-old little girl, but that’s clearly a lie, Lucipher.”
The girl smirks up at him, but her eyes are condescending, and perhaps even amused. But definitely not impressed.
”If I was playing games with you, what makes you think that you’d even last this long?”
”Excuse me?”
”You wouldn’t win. I just couldn’t fathom it... You wouldn’t even make it past level one.”
Her eyes glimmer with thoughtfulness and Evan opens his mouth to retort, but stops it. There it was. There it was! Small, trivial things like that! She would perform these actions to get under Evan’s skin, and pass them off as innocent little actions or phrases, but he knew better.
For seconds, the two stand there frozen in a gaze. On Chastity’s face rested that chilling smirk, and on Evan’s was a look of contempt that he had given up on trying to mask.
”Big talk.”
Defeat.
Evan turns and walks away from Chastity, without so much as an underlying urge to pivot and say another single word to her. He simply couldn’t bring himself to do it. She had said what people, over the past week had been afraid to say to Evan’s face.
”You wouldn’t even make it past level one.”
It rings through his head as clear as day. It plays back to him like a broken record. First, the kid’s voice. Then everybody else’s; John Dionysus, Level One, Michelle, and even Evan himself.
His journey through the house is seemingly aimless and he finds himself resting at the bottom of the stairs, leering up at the ascent before him.
”Push it to the limit!
Walk along the razor's edge!
But don't look down just keep your head, or you'll be finiiiii--!”
Evan’s heart nearly jumps out of his chest as his phone seemingly explodes in his pocket, vibrating maliciously and screaming 80’s song lyrics at him. He rips it from his jeans, eager to kill the sound of his Scarface-inspired ringtone. It doesn’t actually occur to him until a few seconds later to check to see who is calling-- and uncharacteristically, he beams from ear to ear when he sees that the incoming call is from one Michelle Weaver. Maybe he was saved! Maybe she was returning from Delaware a night early and he wouldn’t have to house Satan in his home any longer.
Evan Envi knows just as well as you and I do, that his luck is nowhere near that good.
”Hello?”
”Hey. How’s everything going?”
”Horrendous.”
”...Much better than I expected. At least you’re both alive.”
She pauses.
”Chastity is still alive, right?”
Evan glances in the direction of the living room. Unfortunately, the kid looked just as alive as she had ever been.
”Eh. Currently.”
”Haha, what’s the problem then? Are you prepping for your match? Oh no, is she distracting you or something? I told her before I dropped her off--!”
”No. No, it isn’t that. She’s just...”
He steals another glance toward the living room, and gasps under his breath as he makes direct eye contact with the preteen in question.
”She’s evil. I’ve never had to lock my bedroom door before, but this kid makes me feel the need.”
”Hahaha, stop. What’s she doing?!”
”Watching pornography on the Animal Planet.”
”I mean, what’s she doing that’s SOOO horrible?”
”Michelle, she said I couldn’t beat them.”
”What? Who?”
”She said I couldn’t beat Biggs and Level One tomorrow.”
”Wow. She said that to you?”
”W-- well, no. Not exactly. Not in those words, anyway. She...”
Evan, once again glances toward the living room and his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach when he realizes that she’s no longer there. His eyes widen and he moves a hand to the banister at the bottom of the staircase to steady himself.
Meanwhile, inside his mind, he tries to remember any valuable scriptures that could help him in such a demonic situation. Perhaps the number of a local priest.
”I don’t see her. She could be anywhere. I think I’m gonna have to text you.”
”Don’t take anything she says seriously, Evan. She’s a kid. And she probably didn’t mean anything by it anyway. You know you can beat Biggs, right? You know you can beat Level One?”
”Yeah... Yeah... Biggs... Beat him before... Of course...”
The entire time, Evan spares glances over his shoulder, not entirely focused on whatever spills out of his mouth.
”Good. I’ll be there in the afternoon. Make sure she gets to school by eight, alright? And don’t let her stay up too late.”
”Eh. I can’t make that kid do shit. Whatever happens, happens.”
”Mmmm, I like how assertive you are as a man. It’s so endearing.”
She giggles a bit after saying it.
”I’ll talk to you later. Tell Chas I love her.”
”I’ll definitely relay some form of that message. Night, babe.”
”Seeeyaaaa!”
Evan ends the conversation and slides the phone back into his pocket, but in the half-second between the phone shining toward the staircase and sliding into his pocket, the blue-tinted light from tie iPhone flashes over the figure of a pale, blonde-haired, blue-eyed little Green Party member...
And Evan shrieks.
”Do you always yell indoors like that?”
”WHAT THE F--”
”Let’s get something straight, Mr. Evan... Hah... I did mean something by it. I don’t think you can get past Level One, and I especially, especially don’t think you can beat Biggs.
“Does that get under your skin?”
”...Kid, it’s time for you to get to bed. You’re literally like fifteen seconds away from pissing me off.”
”Well, maybe somebody should. Maybe... I can be the person that takes credit for pushing you to that next level, right?”
She turns and begins to make her way up the stairs, turning and smiling down at Evan only when she reaches the top.
”You can’t prove anybody wrong when everybody’s in your corner the whole time, right? You have this illustrious support team, but that doesn’t include me, Mr. Evan. I will never play the part of your cheerleader. Because that’s not what you need. Let it... Sink in.”
She gives him another youthful, cheerful smile and waves.
”Goodnight!”
And with a hop, and a skip, Chastity Weaver runs off toward the guest rooms, and Evan remains situated at the bottom of the long staircase.
***
”Fuck this.”
Evan throws an empty Corona bottle into the trash and sits in front of the camera at the same bar located in his Baltimore residence that we’d seen him in that afternoon. By now, it is nighttime, and the five empty Corona bottles that lie empty, and occasionally half-cracked at the bottom of the waste bin are warranted... Or at the very least, passable as acceptable.
”It hasn’t been my time since the moment I stepped into this damn business.
“ONE DAY, Evan, you’ll be everything that everybody has always imagined and prophesied... ONE DAY, but not today. Not tomorrow. Not even next week, but one day.
“And let me tell you, Biggs, I have been waiting for that one day since April 2007.”
Evan moves a hand toward the mini-fridge again, but he pauses and curiously turns his eyes back to the lens.
”And it’s not fair. I’ve already beaten you. I should’ve been in the Elimination Chamber match at One Night in Hell, not you. You ran from the ring like some sort of scolded animal because you couldn’t beat me one-on-one.
“Use whatever excuse you want, and I know I’m not exactly one to talk when it comes to staying in that ring and finishing a match every single week, but the fact is-- if you were capable of beating me, you would’ve done it, with or without a broken nose. I mean, I wrestled with a shattered nose for over a damn month!
“You should have never gotten the chance to be the last man standing in that Chamber across from Terry Marvin. It should’ve been me.
“It should be Evan Envi signing that contract tomorrow night on Overdrive because I’m who the people really wanna see. It’s MY Phone that being blown up by every company on the face of the planet because the people... Want... Me. Even Monday Night Meltdown can’t get enough of me and I’m not even a member of their roster anymore.
“Biggs, you haven’t done anything worth watching since Ellie left you on live television at Shockwave. To this very second, I’m sure people across the world are scratching their heads wondering how you even MANAGED to weasel your way into an Undisputed Title match, but I’m really not here to question politics or logic.
“I’m not here to bore you with what should’ve been or what could’ve been... I’m gonna tell you what’s going to happen. And I need for you to listen, because this involves you. This is important.”
Evan sighs and waves the fridge off dismissively, as if it were literally beckoning him.
”I’m going to beat you tomorrow night, Biggs. By default, I’m gonna beat Level One as well. When that happens-- and it will have to happen via pinfall or submission under triple threat rules-- Johnny Rebel is going to review the tapes and he’s going to come to a realization.
“After you’ve been flattened with the Blues, and your face is all mangled up, and your jaw is crushed to the point where you can’t utter complete sentences, Rebel will have to make a choice. He’ll have to replace his number one contender to the Undisputed Title because you will be deemed... Unfit... To compete at Christmas Chaos.
“Your replacement will not be Level One.
“Your replacement won’t be CJ Gates, or Noble, or Hart.
“You’re going to be eclipsed by my star, baby. It’s gonna hurt a lot, but we’re make it through this together. All three of us. We’re gonna turn Evan Envi into the biggest name in wrestling history. Not next week. Not next year. But right then, in that ring tomorrow night.
“You’re going to relinquish your opportunity because it’s the right thing to do. And if... For a second I feel that Level One is going to try to take this from me, I’ll beat him. To death.”
Evan rubs his eyes with his hands and laughs a bit.
”You’re wrestling in my main event, Biggs, and I always kind of feared this would happen, y’know? I was AFRAID that when I wrestled my ass off against you in that ring, and beat you-- just like I knew I would-- that you’d still get handed opportunities before me. Because of your name. Because of what you’ve done.
“Because of what’s expected of you.”
Finally, Evan pushes himself up and away from the bar.
”So tomorrow night, I’m going to do you both a favor.
“I’m going to take that pressure off of your shoulders. I’m gonna take the weight of Action Packed Wrestling off of you and bestow it upon myself. I will succeed where you and Level One no longer can. I will take what rightfully belongs to me, Biggs, and if-- God help me-- if by some fucking miracle, you make it to that contract signing in one piece... I’ll find solace in knowing that your fingers are trembling, and your eyes are swollen shut. You can’t even see the dotted line.
“Even signing a piece of paper is going to leave you in excruciating pain.
“I’m going to hurt you. Both of you. Not one day.
“Not one day.
“This happens now.”
Darkness.
