Post by Shadow on Nov 21, 2012 20:06:22 GMT -4
[glow=navy,10,100]NOW...[/glow]
It’s Thanksgiving. The A.K.A. used to have a traditional meal together, like family. That’s not happening this year. It may never again. Instead I get to spend it with upwards to eleven other people, many of whom I do not share a fond liking. And after a week to mull this over, I have to say; because I’ve been looking to raise some hell this is a fair trade.
But I want to start things off by saying. Azreal Gordon, who the hell do you think you are? Oh wait you’re my partner tonight. Nah, I don’t care, big freaking deal. You’ve run your mouth since the moment you got here, so I’m getting this off my chest whether you like it or not. Please clarify: you intend to rewrite history, erasing all the great talent from the timeline to make yourself the precedent, the Gold Standard, am I right? Bitch please. I’m the freaking Diamond Standard, son. And you had better realize something real freaking quick: Diamonds are the hardest substance known to man for a reason. I am using the term “freaking” a lot here because there are a lot of children watching at home and boy you done F-ed up big. Also I only get ONE “F-bomb” per promo. Anyway, it takes a real genius to make my radar without being officially booked against me. But I have had to listen to your rambling ass for two weeks straight, not to mention the commentators drooling all over you because you’re supposedly the next big thing. Son, we haven’t officially met, don’t worry we will real ‘freaking’ quick.
Before I go any further I really need to ask something else: What happened to new guys going to Meltdown? Did I miss the memo? Who did you blow to get promoted instantly to Overdrive? I know for a fact I didn’t see you when I was down on Meltdown cleaning house. Trust me you wouldn’t have gotten this far running your mouth like that. I’d actually rather listen to Michael Lively blather on for hours on end than sit through another Azreal Gordon segment. At least he makes me laugh, sometimes. You on the other hand just piss me off, even the look of you screams “douche bag.” I equate you to that peckerwood jackass who walks around in a “Tap-Out” T shirt with cut off sleeves and a sun visor, while wearing sunglasses at night, as you stroll down Muscle Beach wearing flip flops with socks. You prick.
Speaking of subhuman garbage that should be incinerated alongside my Jersey Shore reject of a partner: EnviKado, yeah I called you’ll by your real name, looks like I am getting my wish. Well not exactly, but I do intend to utilize this opportunity to showcase exactly how badly I want to throttle you two. However, before I go into that, I have to ask does anyone else see the “Dog Day Afternoon” love story forming between these two? Seriously last week I called Evan a hermaphrodite. This week, The Weekly World News published a photo of Delikado with falsies dressed in drag. I was only hinting at it last week, but this time I think I need to expand upon the idea.
Stay with me here, “Dog Day Afternoon,” probably Pacino’s best work, the man is a crazy, inept immigrant American who resorts to crime to pay for his lover’s sexual reassignment surgery. Does that not scream EnviKado? But after the Weekly World News released that photo of Delikado I can’t put my finger on which of you jack-wagons are Sonny and which one is Leon. Help me out here, which of you nimrods wants to be a woman more? Better tell me now because it’s Thanksgiving and I’m sure you don’t want me to wishbone the wrong one. Aww hell who am I kidding? I’ll make a woman out of both you bitches.
So with that in mind children let’s talk about the steaming pile of cow dung you two idiots stepped into when you strolled out onto the ramp during my Xtreme title rematch. Yes, I walked out of that match. Sure, it probably pissed Johnny Diamond off to see me leave but I took that as an acceptance of the duel I requested. If that didn’t do it, what you two jerk-offs did backstage was an agreement if I ever saw one. Oh ya’ll don’t know? Stay tuned to Overdrive for recap footage.
But let’s talk about this week. It has been a good while since I partook in a tag team match. Hell the last tag match I was in, I walked out of that one too. Namely cause they teamed me with a bunch of assholes. I’m not saying they did that again *cough* yes I am *cough* but I actually I want to see my team succeed. Nothing against the hillbilly Gooch, but I’m teamed with the parasite Germ again and I really want to kick his ass clear of the apron. Oh well I guess that will have to wait till the battle royal.
But Gooch is cool in my book. I can’t say I respect you yet son, but keep at it. I have a soft spot for people trained in the heartland, people that grew up watching the Von Erichs and the Freebirds. Stay the course Gooch and you’ll go places.
As I bring our attention back to this week I think it is highly imperative I mention the other jerkoffs duking it out in the other eight man tag match tonight. Who all is in that match: Noble, Marvin Callahan and Level One. There’s a team the crowd would hate to see win. Each one of those pricks is more pompous than the last, and they are all gunning for their opportunity to lay claim to a free title shot. It’s Thanksgiving and what do they have to be thankful for? They certainly don’t give thanks to anyone but themselves for their status as Megastars. They take their own prestige for granted. I guess the only thing they can be thankful is the fact they have to go through the other reject team in this list and not me. While I would greatly enjoy being in that elimination match, once again I must be patient and await the opportunity to just unload during that battle royal.
But getting my hands on Noble again, after that two faced trick he pulled two weeks ago, that would be soothing. Noble had some harsh words for me prior to our match. I never addressed them. I was more pissed off he disrespected the business by calling the opening match punishment. Kurt, first and foremost, you didn’t make me eat my words. So let me make you an offer; step up son. It’s Thanksgiving and I’m hungry. You want to play the animal I’ll be happy to put you down. I have no respect for you anymore Kurt, not that you care. And since you don’t give a damn about anything but yourself, you won’t mind me taking a crack at Amy, everyone else has had a pass at that ring rat. Don’t worry I’ll bag it before I tag it.
I don’t know much about Callahan. However, he’s an avid republican, that’s enough to warrant an ass kicking though. I’m not a democrat; I just don’t like right wing conservatives. By the way, many people may not recognize this but I spotted it right out the gate, GI is missing two letters to his name, M and P. I’m not talking General Infantry and Military Police either; I’m referring to Maynard, Zed and their GIMP. Poor bastard. Oh well a lot of right wing hatemongers are really closet homosexuals. And the name War Ensemble sounds like the fatigues a gay man would wear to war.
Level One I was gunning for you the moment I came back, yet you kept his focus on Slade and I got shelved with your second rate side kick: Johnny Rebel. Let’s rectify that tonight, asshole. Now as for Terry Marvin, you’re the crown jewel. You hold something I would very much like to lay my hands on. Yes as I said before, I do have every intention on earning myself an Undisputed Title match and as long as ole Marvin the Martian has the strap he will be in my crosshairs. I see tonight as the opportunity to do just that. God’s gift to wrestling? Yeah right. I’m glad we kept the receipt.
Becoming an Overdrive Triple Crown would be really sweet. But there is something else, someone else I should say, that has forever caught my attention and no matter who stands in my way, nothing will prevent me from one day wrapping my hands around his throat and doing that thing that makes me feel like a god. Biggs, you little bastard where have you been hiding? I heard Slade got to plant your ass a few months back in one of his only wins on Overdrive. How does it feel coming second place to dirt?
We have way too much history for me to just let it die Biggs. You showed up on Overdrive years back and made a name for yourself by beating me. That takes guts. Then you climbed your way to the top after I went away. After that you even got named General Manager of Overdrive, big swinging “D” aren’t you? But there is something you didn’t consider when you blasted off into superstardom: reentry was going to be troublesome. Hell, for you it was downright catastrophic. Concussions, marital troubles, losing to Slade, not reclaiming the Undisputed title, have you considered the possibility that you just suck at what you do? I think you do, then again I never thought much of you anyway.
But times have changed, show runners have changed and look at where we are, right here on Overdrive together once more. I can only wonder as to how long until our locomotives go head on again. Could be tonight if you are lucky enough to beat a line of former champs. Don’t worry about me, I have a strong feeling I will make it into that battle royal, even if I have to ride Azreal Gordon’s coattails to do it. If you do get lucky enough to get eliminated and sit in the back, do yourself a favor call that wife or ex-wife or whatever she is to you. Tell her you’re sorry, because it might be the last chance you get Biggs. I know that sounds really malevolent, but when it comes to you and I, I really don’t care. You’ve hounded me for far too long Biggs, you think I really care if I get slapped with a fine or a suspension for ending your already over career? Not in the slightest.
I’d say let’s move on to a brighter topic but your partner, C.J. Gates is about as washed up as you are. By the way Gates, you apparently only follow your own career you self-indulgent ignoramus. I’ve kept an eye on a lot of people since I rolled back into town and your diminishing stardom has been one of them. To be honest you don’t interest me, I don’t think you ever could interest me, not even if I was taking a shot of whiskey each time your rotund ass blew a spot in the ring. A man with your kind of money should be able to pay for some decent wrestling classes. That’s fine I’ll take you to school tonight. Last week I called A.C. Smith boring, I had forgotten about you, which isn’t very hard to do. At least I struck a nerve and caused him to get real pissed off. Not that he did anything with it or the broken body of Nick Watson I left behind. You on the other hand, you bored the crap out of me. Big Dakota Cowboy, right Brokeback?
Then there are the other two members to team “Hope:” Nick Watson and Mark Mania. Nick, I hope your neck is feeling better and you’re able to breathe again. It must really stick in A.C. Smith’s side that even after I hung you out to dry last week, he still wasn’t man enough to win the Xtreme Title. You owe me for not burying you before I went off after the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. How about you do me a big favor and win this tag match, I think I would very much enjoy getting Biggs in that battle royal. Heaven knows Biggs and Gates don’t have the sacks to do it.
Nick, I said it before I really didn’t give a damn about the Xtreme title. Where I’m from real wrestlers don’t need weapons to win. For a scrawny little chump like you, that’s the perfect belt. But since you decided to bring up the ancient history between myself and Biggs, I think it’s only fair I bring up your more recent history, you know that massive cold streak that made you second guess if you were even worthy to wrestle. When I came back, people thought the A.K.A. was affiliated with Nick Watson because of our record, not the other way around. Nick I’ll admit you finally proved your worth by beating A.C. Smith, mind you that’s not much. But you still haven’t beaten me.
Oh and Slade Craven called me this morning from the whacko basket, he said stop using his gimmick- Sensation Nation, what a joke.
Mark Mania, I have a joke for you, don’t worry I got nothing but sideways respect for you so it’s not offensive. Mark Mania faces Delikado in a trap you’re opponent in a cage match! Whose bright idea was that one? I remember when they posted the One Night in Hell card on the break room bulletin board, I started laughing. I kept seeing Peter Griffin and James Woods happening out there.
Okay in all seriousness Mark, I bet having that belt feels real good. While I would love to win the battle royal tonight and come reclaim my old friend, I think I’ll give you a pass. I don’t know something about you makes me not want to hit you in the face repeatedly. Kudos to you for that. Who knows maybe one day you’ll pop off with some smartass response, catch my attention and change my mind but until then I hope to face a real Overdrive champion. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever faced an Overdrive champion that deserved the belt. I sure would like that to change. Don’t disappoint.
All jokes and trash talk aside there are still a few people I haven’t mentioned yet. These two people I actually DO respect: Aubrey J Parker and Yarmouth.
Aubrey you didn’t get to hold that North American title very long. I warned Logan that you would be the one to stab him in the back. I’ll admit I was wrong. But all things considering you got screwed then promoted. His happy little ass gets left behind on Meltdown. You get to go face a real champion on Asylum: Sally Talford. Hold on boys around the world, don’t grab your joysticks yet.
Aubrey I know I made the joke about you having your own magic wand in those pants, and seeing you get paired up with two transvestites like Delikado and his girlfriend doesn’t help the case, but I do have a bit of admiration for you. It takes balls to bash me in the head repeatedly with a chair.
No Germ I don’t respect you period. I might had you won at One Night in Hell, but you didn’t. A chick kicked your ass, me it took two people to drop.
Yarmouth, man it’s been awhile. I remember tearing it up with you on Meltdown and then on Overdrive. Looks like we get to do it once more. Maybe one of these days, if they ever allow Slade visitation privileges, I’ll swig by Asylum and we can hit the trifecta.
Fella, I want to run something past you. I think the fans would love to see Shadow versus Yarmouth one on one tonight. To do that, I need you to kick the crap out of my team and I’ll wipe the floor with yours. Then when it’s just you and I remaining, we take five, catch our breath, circle the ring and go to town. But since I doubt we will get to do that, let’s just beat the hell out of anyone that moves.
So where does that leave all of us, I’ll tell you, in a very unpleasant situation. I’ve spent the past two weeks on Overdrive listening to people call me a broken record, that I don’t measure up and that I overall suck. Who the hell am I, Slade Craven?
I’m not kids, Slade and I are two different people, he’s short and crazy I’m big and brutal. I get tired of listening to people run their mouth comparing us from time to time, I went to Meltdown to re-distinguish myself and remind everyone who Shadow was before the A.K.A. came back. The moment I walk back on Overdrive all I hear is “Shadow sucks, Shadow’s a joke.” Like my stint on Meltdown didn’t mean a damn thing.
So why the hell was I promoted? I didn’t ask for it. But I rolled with it. I returned to the Overdrive ring with Kurt Noble and got overlooked. I had to call out HermiKado just to get a real fight. Now they toss me in the ring with a bunch of rookies, yeah Germaine I still consider you one, against an APW smorgasboard.
Maybe Johnny Diamond is trying to piss me off. I’ve spent the past couple weeks trying to anger my opponents so they’d throw down; maybe it’s time I get mad. Funny thing about being mad Johnny D,-Ha Ha- sometime I express it in a physical way. But I can’t seem to grasp why you want me pissed off. If I get too mad I may clean house on Overdrive like I did last time you booked me in a battle royal. Then again Hurricane Jeff did just draft three people to each show, so I can only wonder if Diamond wants the trash off his roster.
And believe me people I get it, I know this isn’t Meltdown. This is Overdrive and that’s just what gear I plan to kick my engine into. While I view at tonight as an opportunity to earn a title shot, because that IS what this is. I also see this as the chance to get angry. Two weeks ago I told Kurt Noble “A to E: Anger to Energy.” Tonight I’m reforming that phrase, A to get E, Anger to get Even. Or hell Anger to get Envi.
Yeah Evan Envi, the bitch that got away. No matter how hard I try to steer my topics away from you somehow they just come full circle. Evan you and I share so much in common it sickens me. We both come to Overdrive from Meltdown; we both have been screwed over by Biggs. Hell I recall how you once called Meltdown, “Your show.” Your little two hour block. Just like me. Then you came to Overdrive and got a big reality check. In a way I guess I am dealing with the same thing. I did expect a little more coming back to Overdrive, I shouldn’t have though.
When I got the call from Diamond saying “I’m going to Overdrive, and so are you.” I figured he had a plan for me or something. I guess he didn’t and that’s fine. I will make my own plans, starting with hunting down the one Meltdown Megastar that I have some unfinished business with. And you seem to have done real well for yourself, facing off against such high profile Megastars like Biggs and Level One. Hey what do you know, I’ve been doing that the past two weeks I’ve been here too. Evan I shouldn’t feel like you and I have ANYTHING in common, but sadly we do and that bothers me.
Because when it comes down to it, people are going to wonder who the rising star of Meltdown really was. They are going to look at both of us and weigh us each individually and only one of us is going to be named so. The other, will be left wanting. Right now, I hate to admit it but I am really wanting... wanting to beat your ass.
A long time ago someone insignificant made a comment about me going by the name Shadow, wondering why I would use that name. They joked about me having an ego that cast a shadow over everyone, and a couple weeks back Kurt Noble related it to me being in my former partner’s shadow. It’s neither. Life is about balance people, water/fire, earth/air and light/dark. I always said that I am the embodiment of darkness. That does not necessarily mean I am evil, because the pious and holy can also be evil, like the infamous Pope Leo X. Darkness is something people shun because they are afraid of it, instead I embraced it and now I plan to unleash it.
Overdrive has forgotten Shadow. That I CANNOT abide. They get lost with these new faces like Evan Envi and Azreal Gordon. People forget the names that shaped your current legends, people who took men like Level One and Biggs to the limit. Kurt Noble acted like our match was the bottom rung of the ladder. Okay. Fine let’s start at the bottom; the good thing about tonight is it defines who gets to climb to the top. Johnny Diamond did the same thing on Meltdown once before and I marched my way right to the final two. Where is that other competitor now; she’s gone. I’m still here and I am not going anywhere.
Tonight it’s time for Overdrive to remember who Shadow is. I didn’t come back to Overdrive to get mulled over and be a fucking jobber to jokers like Kurt Noble. I came back to make a statement. Someone needs to put these arrogant ass-nozzles in their place. I am tired of listening to these people talk about how they are the best, they scream about how they proved it time and time again. Well I wasn’t here for those “glory days” you punks had. Why don’t you show me what makes you “the cream of the crop?” In return I’ll remind EVERYONE why the earth shook when I wrestled and the lightning split the sky every time I ejected the unworthy. I’m Shadow kids, I don’t play well with others. Tonight you all get to play with me.
